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a little something for your amusement :)
Topic Started: Sep 25 2008, 07:27 PM (426 Views)
MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
a little something for your amusement :)

-- Things guys should know about girls --

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.

2. Don't say you understand when you don't.

3. Girls are petty; get over it. We like to start fights.

4. You don't have PMS, so don't act like you know what it's like.
Don't try to understand...you never will.

5. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook;
DOING something sweet will always get you off the hook.

6. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.

7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

8. You are expected to be sensitive sometimes.

9. If you did something wrong or even if you DIDN'T, apologize :)

10. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it, but it is extremely sweet.

11. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it.

12. We are Drama queens; deal with it.

13. Fashion police do exist.

14. We absolutely DO NOT care about sports, monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about.

15. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

16. We don't shave our legs everyday: get over it.

17. Don't make bets about us; we always find out; you may think we don't know, but WE DO

18. Shave! No matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we hate it. We like clean-cut men.

19. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it is not.

20. Don't compare us to Pamela Anderson; parts of her are fake.
(Remember: you have a better shot at us than you ever will have with her.)

21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

22. We are beautiful at all times.

23. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.

24. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it.

25. Most importantly: we are always right in one way or another.

26. Understand how to keep us happy with you

-- Reasons why girls date JERKS instead of nice guys --

It's more fun to bitch about them to her friends without feeling guilty.

When she does date nice guys, they turn into jerks anyway, so why not save time and go for the jerk in the first place?

She won't get as emotionally attached to a jerk, so she'll be more in control.

All the other women want them, so they must be worth having.

Affection means more when it comes from a guy who doesn't normally give it.

Guaranteed to cheat on her so she won't be the big bitch when she cheats.

There is no need to feel guilty for abusing or deceiving them.

Jerks will actually tell her when they don't like what she's doing instead of getting mad about it six months later.

She was looking for someone she can't trust, and won't care about too much, who will abuse her mentally and financially, but she didn't know any lawyers
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(When she does date nice guys, they turn into jerks anyway, so why not save time and go for the jerk in the first place?)

note: i did not write this.
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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Supervizor
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i was writing alot... deep shit even..... then for some reason everything was gone except a y..... Now i could rewrite it... but imo, a sign from God. Your servant shall complain o great one. So all my comment will be:

(:D)
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Jack the IV
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The Gent's Club
Mmmk. Thanks for telling me.
In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains,
On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows,
In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame,
The good deeds a man has done before defend him.
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Jam
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Fruit Based Jam
7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

What if my girlfriend is also my homeboy?
Long live Carolus
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gs
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Slow down
it's nicely written, funny, but it stereotypes girls.

as if they're all the same, and pretty damn shallow :\

thats bullshit. plus, if you try to stick to these rules you're faking who you really are and that won't help anyone in the long run.
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Supervizor
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Major
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

- no comment, but damn funny :P
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gs
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Slow down
Hyperactive Jam
Sep 26 2008, 04:39 AM
7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

What if my girlfriend is also my homeboy?

hmmmm!!!

then she will be neutral about it.

so it's not really WORTH it showing it to her, unless you don't know anything else to do hmmmm.
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MaxJ
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MxDiane
Sep 25 2008, 09:27 PM
note: i did not write this.

I already thought you became an American :lol:
Jouw wereld, jouw A414A forum.
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MaxJ
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OKAY I DID NOT WRITE THIS NEITHER, I only translated it:

How many man do you need to open a bottle of beer?
Not one because it should already be open when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are the feet of a woman smaller as the feet of a man?
Because of the evolution, now they can stand closer to the dresser.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know if a woman is gonna say something smart?
If her sentence begins with: "A man told me once..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you repair a ladieswatch?
Not. The microwave has a clock.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man fart more as a woman?
Because womans can't shut their mouth long enough to get enough pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you dog is barking at the frontdoor and your wife is yelling at the backdoor, who do you let inside first?
Your dog ofcourse, at least he shuts up.
Jouw wereld, jouw A414A forum.
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MaxJ
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Goodspeed
Sep 26 2008, 05:56 PM
:S

american?

Because of her spelling.
Jouw wereld, jouw A414A forum.
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MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
MaxJ
Sep 26 2008, 03:57 PM
Goodspeed
Sep 26 2008, 05:56 PM
:S

american?

Because of her spelling.

haha is it? i didnt really notice.
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
MaxJ
Sep 26 2008, 03:56 PM
OKAY I DID NOT WRITE THIS NEITHER, I only translated it:

How many man do you need to open a bottle of beer?
Not one because it should already be open when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are the feet of a woman smaller as the feet of a man?
Because of the evolution, now they can stand closer to the dresser.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know if a woman is gonna say something smart?
If her sentence begins with: "A man told me once..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you repair a ladieswatch?
Not. The microwave has a clock.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man fart more as a woman?
Because womans can't shut their mouth long enough to get enough pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you dog is barking at the frontdoor and your wife is yelling at the backdoor, who do you let inside first?
Your dog ofcourse, at least he shuts up.

THATS SO SEXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
MaxJ
Sep 26 2008, 03:51 PM
MxDiane
Sep 25 2008, 09:27 PM
note: i did not write this.

I already thought you became an American :lol:

HAHA even if i rebirthed or whatever, it'd take me more than a billion times to become American.
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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Incog
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CHEERIO!

MxDiane
Sep 26 2008, 06:40 PM
MaxJ
Sep 26 2008, 03:56 PM
OKAY I DID NOT WRITE THIS NEITHER, I only translated it:

How many man do you need to open a bottle of beer?
Not one because it should already be open when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are the feet of a woman smaller as the feet of a man?
Because of the evolution, now they can stand closer to the dresser.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know if a woman is gonna say something smart?
If her sentence begins with: "A man told me once..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you repair a ladieswatch?
Not. The microwave has a clock.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man fart more as a woman?
Because womans can't shut their mouth long enough to get enough pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you dog is barking at the frontdoor and your wife is yelling at the backdoor, who do you let inside first?
Your dog ofcourse, at least he shuts up.

THATS SO SEXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I heard a few of those before.

mean but funny
Black tulip

Tribute to the the greatest of the great.
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The_Fry_Cook_of_Doom
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:OOOOOOOOOOOOMAAANN
Diane, did you get this off the internet?

Quote:
 
21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.


o yeah, rofl at that quote ^_^
Jam
 
It's okay to be mad at your fiends sometimes
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gs
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Slow down
MxDiane
Sep 26 2008, 05:40 PM
MaxJ
Sep 26 2008, 03:56 PM
OKAY I DID NOT WRITE THIS NEITHER, I only translated it:

How many man do you need to open a bottle of beer?
Not one because it should already be open when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are the feet of a woman smaller as the feet of a man?
Because of the evolution, now they can stand closer to the dresser.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know if a woman is gonna say something smart?
If her sentence begins with: "A man told me once..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you repair a ladieswatch?
Not. The microwave has a clock.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why does a man fart more as a woman?
Because womans can't shut their mouth long enough to get enough pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If you dog is barking at the frontdoor and your wife is yelling at the backdoor, who do you let inside first?
Your dog ofcourse, at least he shuts up.

THATS SO SEXIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's funny.

and the stuff you posted would suck too if it wasn't a joke, it makes girls look like arrogant shallow bitches..
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MaxJ
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Yes, Diane your stuff could be sexist too.
Jouw wereld, jouw A414A forum.
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Lazurath
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Captain
For my amusement? I don't find this amusing; it means I actually have to TRY with girls... :blink:
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MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
MaxJ
Sep 27 2008, 12:01 PM
Yes, Diane your stuff could be sexist too.

-_- never said it wasnt
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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MxDiane
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Worteltjes World
Ultra-Musketeer
Sep 27 2008, 05:18 AM
Diane, did you get this off the internet?

Quote:
 
21. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.


o yeah, rofl at that quote ^_^

look at the bottom of my post.
"He orders something unusual, like a Black Russian or a Tom Collins, and when you request a beer he says that surely a complex woman deserves a complex drink. " - Travis Grandt
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Goodsbee
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life is grand :)
Goodspeed
Sep 26 2008, 03:43 PM
Hyperactive Jam
Sep 26 2008, 04:39 AM
7. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

What if my girlfriend is also my homeboy?

hmmmm!!!

then she will be neutral about it.

so it's not really WORTH it showing it to her, unless you don't know anything else to do hmmmm.

did he mean his girlfriend is a guy maybe??
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