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Sophia Luxford; Character Application
Topic Started: Nov 7 2009, 10:15 PM (139 Views)
Sophia Luxford
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Name: Elizabeth Sophia Luxford

Nickname: Sophia

Gender: Female

Age: 17

Anime/Game/Show: N/A She comes from the world of darkness roleplaying setting, but I have always imagined her in an anime light.

Made-Up?: Made-up.

Type: Protagonist

Description:
The first thing most notice as they gaze upon this girl is a mane of fiery hair that spreads out from her head, pouring down her shoulders and back in untamed waves and the occasional curl. Her hair comes to a end at the small of her back. and Though it could definitely use a comb, those crimson strands appear clean, silky and soft. Dwarfed by the radiance of her of wild hair, the girl's face appears small and cherubic - a pair of emerald eyes set atop a snub, almost aristocratic nose. Those eyes of her glimmer like sparks of defiant green flame, full of defiance and force of will. Her lips are slender and pink, pulled back more often than not in a rebellious smirk, while the girl's skin is smooth and delicate, rosy with the blush of her youth. She appears to be no older than seventeen or eighteen, her form lithe and athletic beneath her clothing. The girl walks with a gait that betrays reams of self-confident. Those bright eyes of hers more often looking down on the world around her than up, while each step and motion is executed with flawless elegance and grace unmarred by the garish pride of the mind behind them.

It is with an odd preternatural force that most eyes are attracted to this young girl's form. She seems to strike the mind in an odd way that seems to be beyond the mere physical sense. Most minds seem to get the impression; however, wild the she may appear, that there is something important about her lying just beyond reach - like a word on the tip of the tongue that never comes. Either way, it seems from the grins that often grace girl's lips and the flicker of pride in her eyes that she knows full well of the way she seems to people and it only feeds her ego.

Her preffered preferred attire is a tight-fitting red-t shirt with the word 'Rebel' emblazoned across the chest in black, block-print lettering. The garment extends all the way down to the edge of her pants; though, it is just a little bit short. It is often allowing a thin sliver of the girl's rose-kissed midriff to be seen by the wandering eyes. She wears a pair of jeans that hang about her hips, a few scuffs and tears bearing witness to their over-use. While she finishes off her attire with a pair of heavy, dark hiking boots, the end of her pants legs hiding any socks she is wearing from view.

Image:
Posted Image

Background Note: This character originally had a biography about 12 pages long… but most of that focuses on the setting she comes from, her family’s history, and their curse. So I’ll just focus on the character herself since that is what is important in a setting like this. The setting is basically the modern world, with supernatural things happening under the surface out of the public view.

Background Info:
Sophia was born to a family of British aristocrats in Modern England, under a unique set of stars that marked a unique destiny for the young girl. Her family was more than it appeared. Though the Luxford estate was decrepit and the members of her family were dwindling in number, their current state concealed a grand and glorious past. Since the beginning of the middle ages, the Luxford were members of a secretic secretive and powerful order of wizards know at known as the Order of Hermes, and the Luxford’s were intrepid Fire mages all. Yet, somewhere along their history and their countless clashes with their enemies, the Luxfords contracted a terrifying curse that led them to ruin destroying this once expansive and influential clan into the scattered individuals that exist in Sophia’s day.

Somewhere along the lines in the 17th century, the Luxfords parted from the Order of Hermes; though, magic continued to flow in their blood. And Soon, their glorious past was forgotten by the majority of the clan as they struggled with the realities of their curse; save for those very few who managed to awaken to their magical talents in such an environment. Sophia’s father, Thomas, was one of the first in generations to even realize his families' supernatural capabilities, but instead of embracing his families heritage in his children, he discouraged it amongst his children. He was convinced that the pursuit of magic would lead what little remained of his family to ruin.

Even the mundane members of the Luxford clan seemed to realize their family’s ill-fortune. The Luxford’s seemed to have something of a reverse-midas touch… whatever they focused their energies on, devoted their lives to seemed to invariably end in ruin. [<--DOESN'T MAKE SENSE] Thomas’ sister joined the royal navy early on, having an illustrious career until a series of events led to her desertion to the USSR, mere years before the communist empire collapsed. Thomas’ brother, Michael, devoted himself to business. and Though he was a brilliant and capable man, every market he turned to collapsed invariably, leading him to bankruptcy after bankruptcy until the man was reduced to little more than a drunkard, having given up on making his fortune. And even worse, Thomas suspected his grandfather of magickal magical talent, a man who had disappeared, essentially abandoning his family when Thomas was only six years old.

Convinced that he should learn from the other’s example, Thomas gave up early on attempting to accomplish anything with his life. Instead, he resigned himself to a life of debauchery and high-life among the aristocrats of England. His children, too, would follow his path. His two first children, Aaron and Luke, proved successful in this regard. But it was his youngest child that proved to shattered the relative calm he had brought to his family… for she was born under a set of starts [YOU MEAN "STARS"?] that indicated a bright destiny before her and an acute talent for magic.

Luckily, by the time she was born, both Aaron and Luke were in a boarding school and attending university respectively, giving him a chance to focus on his daughter’s upbringing. As with all his children, he raised her in ignorance of the existence of magic much less her propensity for it. Since she was a willful and energetic girl, and so early on he signed her up for fencing school. She seemed to have a natural aptitude for swordplay and quickly progressed through teachers. Eager to give his daughter an outlet, Thomas hired some of the best fencing instructurs instructors he could afford in the Italian and French fencing styles. Soon, the girl was not only learning standard fencing but classical fencing techniques as well.

Though she was a brilliant student and was accepted easily to famous private schools near her estate, she always seemed acutely aware of the destiny that awaited her. At first, as a mere girl, there was no way for her to pursue what she saw as the grand fate that awaited her. A kind of restlessness affected her as the girl withdrawing socially from those around her, unable to find satisfaction in the normal things that a primary school girl should. Instead, she threw herself into the books of chilvary chivalry, romance, and the age of knighthood in the Luxford’s estate library. Sometimes, she was reading into the late hours of the night while locked in the small dark room. At first, she was moved by an infatuation with knights saving princess’ and typical notions of the sort. The girl gradually began to find herself more inspired by the knights of in the story that were going out in the world and seeking justice than the princess’ pining their days away in palaces. That, her favored heroes were male was besides the point for her.

It was about this time that Sophia started to develop an intense hate for Thomas. When she was around age nine, Sophia’s mother, Laura, was in the hospital with a terminal illness. Thomas, ever the womanizer, felt no qualms with calling his daughter out of the library and having her meet one of his paramours. The child, in a rage, kicked the woman in the shin before Thomas, dragged her to her room, and locked her away in anger. Thomas gradually began to stand for the girl, everything her heroes did not. Lust, wickedness, apathy for the suffering of innocents, and shrouded in mannerisms and faux ‘civility’ that hided hid a deep ugliness beneath. That, he began sending her to schools, teaching her ‘aristocratic’ manners and the intricacies of ballad that only furthered this impression. She began despising anything that she could associate with him, especially the society of ‘manners’ she saw about her, which seemed more concerned with nice words than actually goodness.

But being so young, she had little chance to express her disdain for Thomas and his ways. He always had the upper-hand, even when she was bold enough to face him directly. A threat of taking away her key to the library or her cherished fencing instructors was enough to cool the willful girl’s temper.

It was not until when she was around eleven years old that she managed to find an outlet that was not approved by her father. One day, coming home from her school, the girl encountered a group of boys on the side of the road. The boys were lower-class and from the town near her families estate, ranging from the ages of 8-10. They were fighting, and the girl could not help but think it looked fun. So she hurried home and changed out of her uniform, pulling on what best she could in terms of what she considered ‘lower-class’ clothes and returned to them, attempting to take part of their little game.

At first, the boys were skeptical but Sophia was athletic. and So, she was able to put up a good fight to prove she was a worthwhile asset to their little gang. She even convinced Thomas to let her cut her red-hair short, and with a little bit of dirt and grime, she looked at least in a passing glance like one of the boys themselves. If Thomas noticed the occasional bruises she came home with, he will ignored it. and a She would simple simply lie about her after school activies activities, but she hid what she was really doing with herself.

Soon, she managed to get control of the little gang of ruffians, feeling for the first time to pursue her own ideals: to be truly free from her father and the society she hated. That summer, she turned their gang away from the boys' games of scuffles and hill-top battles to target people in the town she considered the epitome of the sort of thing she despised. She and her little gang ran several of the more corrupt business owners of town, managing to evade arrest. She and her friends even beat up one of her father’s friends who, she knew, was famous for sucking money out of the poorer people in the town.

Yet, gradually as the summer gradually ended, harsh realities changed her situation. She and several of the boys were gowing going through puberty. They were growing concientous conscious of their group being lead led by a girl, and her femininity was growing much more apparent. One autumn day, the boys ambushed her, beat her up, and told her they did not want her hanging around anymore. It was with a broken heart that the adolescent slunk back home… but no amount of makeup could hide her black eye and the bruises on her face. To make matters worse, she could see Thomas watching her condescendingly out of the corner of his eyes at the dinner table before her embarrassing wounds finally healed up.

Depressed at the elimination of her one outlet, Sophia threw herself into her study of swordsmanship and her work at highschool high school, having just entered as a freshman. She began to compete voraciously in local and national fencing and classical fencing tournamanets tournaments. She became quickly known for her aggression and fierceness in these competitions, going so far that even her tutors cautioned her to show some restraint. Meanwhile, the Order of Hermes, which had been acutely aware of her unique talents and the favorable destiny she was born to, decided to make their move underneath Thomas’ knows knowledge.

One of their wizards, Augustus Celestine, slipped into Sophia’s prestigious highschool high school and became a tutor. With her grades, it was easy to convince the teachers that she should be given a chance to be tutored one-on[color=red-[/color]one in more advanced subjects. At first, he only taught her one or two periods a day. but As soon as she became a second year student and then a third year student, she would eventually spend the whole school day with him. Careful use of magic made the teachers unconcerned with this at all. Sophia was fascinated by what he had to offer. At first, it was a boring study in languages like Latin and Greek. But soon, Augustus’ teachings began to take a bizarre turn. She was taught ancient Greek metaphysics, the hierarchy of angels all peperred prepared with promises of power. Power was just what the girl wanted and needed to escape the drab world her father had surrounded her with. Rebellious at heart, she was eager to accept Augustus' teachings that poked wholes holes in the world of science that everyone around her accepted and promised self-empowerment if she embraced the might of her own will and unleashed its potential.

The wizard was laying the ground work for her awakening to her magic potential. She could not master the ways of magic, in Sophia’s world, without rejecting the reality that the modern world embraced. It required not only logical understanding of a new paradigm that embraced the possibility of magic, but a visceral, deep experience that purged the notions of human limitations from her very psyche.

At age sixteen, all of his work came to a head. Sophia was defending her title as England’s national champion in fencing when an aggressive parry on her part broken her sabre and impaled the other student, horribly injuring him horrible. In the heat of the moment, she had not realized her broken weapon and deal the vicious blow to her opponent. Her aggression was blamed for the outcome and she was expelled from the fencing league and forbidden to compete. This devastated Sophia, who again, found her outlets of escape from her father’s world closing about her.

Her rage at the injustice dealt was enough to drive her to the breaking point. She broken into her father’s room. Augustus having already hinted that herfather knew of the secrets to power he had begun to explain to her. There, she found his journals locked away, revealing his fears at her surprising propensity for magic and that the arrogance her destiny had bequeathed to her would lead her at the hands of the curse to destroy the family, herself, and perhaps many others. It was that moment of realization of just how much he had kept her back that sparked the realization she needed to be open to her powers. Fiery magick magic exploded forth from the girl as the last shackles of the chains that bound her from her powers broke free.

The result was as expected, the Luxford estate was going up in flames. Unharmed by the licking fire, she stormed out of the burning building, convinced that she would pursue the powers Augustus had offered her and defy her curse. She would use her power to seek justice in a world that desperately needed it and protect the weak from the predations of the wicked. And if she could, she would change the very world she lived in into a world of justice, burning the last remanents remnants of evil and wicked from the face of the planet.

And yet, it was there on the grounds of the estate she faced her father. And Thomas was, for once, direct and stern with her in the face of her rage. He had done all he had simply to protect her and the family. The path she was about to take would lead to her to ruin, if not, to her death. He had merely wished to give her a life of happiness instead of despair. It took all the willpower the girl could muster not to struck him. In a flurry of enraged words, she replied she would rather die trying to escape his world of despair than live having never amounted to anything.

And so the girl went with Augutus, embracing his vision and the Order of Hermes. But would she wield her magic as a weapon of rage, anger, and hate? Or would the Order be able to teach her the restraint that she needed to be able to curve and control her fiery wrath and the magic that flowed from it? Or would she be consumed by it all as her father had predicted?

Specialties:
Sophia is a Fire Mage and relies on medieval magic’s magics to harness her uniquely powerful capabilities for the arcane arts. Minor cantrips can be casted without much thought, while more foreceful forceful uses require ‘invocations’.the Tapping into ideals and symbols to provided her magick magic with direction in focus. Sophia prefers to invoke either the Goddess Athena, her ideal of wisdom and womanly warriorhood, or Zeus, whom she sees as representing her ideals of vengeful justice on the wicked or the arch-angel Michael, who was the epitome of her crusade against evil and corruption in her world. She is especially fond of the symbols of and magic resembling the powers of angels, as it represents her ideal of bringing hope to a despairing world. The more complex and wide-spread the magic is, the more complex the ritual it takes to work it. All magic carries the risk of failing or turning against the user, especially if they push beyond their limit of comfort when casting spells.

Sophia’s magic functions by using her will to shape the threads of reality about her. However, at her level this requires two things: an invocation (as mentioned above) and a physical object to focus her power. The focus depends on what kind of magic she is using. However, she invariably uses foci that connected to her sword as it is both the ideal she follows (that of a Knight/Crusader) and her weapon of choice.

Elemental magic is Sophia’s forte, and the foci for this magic is a bladed weapon. She almost invariably chooses to attack with fire though only if the situation calls for it. She can draw upon other elements such as ice, wind, water or even manipulate light. Throwing fireballs is a simply simple matter for her. while Unleashing a blast large enough to incinerate a block might take a good deal of effort. At the peak of her power, with a lengthy ritual, she could even send a fire-storm down upon an entire city; though, such would bear great risk for Sophia without others to assist in the magic.

While normally Sophia is very athletic and strong, she can use her magic to enhance her strength, speed, or endurance. The foci for this kind of magic is an ankh she usually wears about her neck. This kind of magic can also be used with more difficulty to heal or transform one living thing into another. She could even modify her appearance if she chose to, though any creature with the capability of sensing magic would realize magic about her.

Sophia has less skill in the magics that affect time and distance. A diamond is the focus for time magic. With a ritual, she can manipulate time around her so that she moves much more quickly than normal. Or she can attempt with great difficulty indeed to roll back time (a few seconds at best). This, however, is perhaps the most dangerous type of magic she could try and use… and is frought brought with peril especially if she has distractions. (And will definately definitely not be something attempted accept except in highly appropriate, and rare circumstances in roleplay). With distance magic, she can attempt to scry on individuals whom she has met before at greater difficulty depending on how far they are away. She can also attempt to teleport; though, this is not an instantaneous thing and requires a ritual as well.

She prefers to use the crusader sword that she arms herself with. Her particular crusader sword has been past passed down her family for generations; though, she stole it from her father’s estate. Sophia is exceptionally talented with swords, and very athletic for a human. She also displays a good amount ofo skill with hand-to-hand fighting. Her sword is enchanted… allowing the mage using it to store a spell within the blade to be accessed instantly. Sophia usually stores the ritual for her transformation in the weapon as it is, otherwise, requires a lengthy process to accomplish.

The final thing that deserves a mention is a ritual she likes to draw on. Normally, this would take almost five minutes to cast… the result is the transformation of Sophia into what she calls the Holy Avenger. Though clearly her, she appears as an angel sheathed in a mantle of blazing fire, her sword glowing with a wicked flame. A pair of luminous wings sprout from her shoulders while flames seem to flow from her eyes. In this form, she is protected by an invisible barrier of force, reflecting most attacks especially energy bases ones. while Physically, she is enhanced so that her combat prowess is pushed very much beyond human capability so that she is able to cleave through the hardest stone with her sword with ease. Furthermore, a powerful time enchantment makes her able to move several times as fast as a normal human. Obviously, in this form, she is an engine of destruction at least where melee combat is concerned. And her attunement with the element ofo fire is so intense that she can throw all but the very most powerful attacks of fire with ease. Finally, she is clad in enchanted crusader armor to top off her assemblage.

Sample Roleplay:
A pair of pale pink finger tips touched a rain droplet-covered window panel as a pair of emerald green eyes looked out upon a world lost in shadow and drenched in rain. Beneath the window, a few sad figures milled about in the shabby garden with depressed looks on their faces. Yet, there was determination in those green eyes, a surprising fierce will. 'Look at it…', thought the red-haired girl from her place by the window. 'Look how lost they always are to despair. You would think they have never seen a ray of sunlight their entire lives.'

Her thoughts were very much being carried beyond the rainy garden beneath her and to the world at large. A flame of determination sparked in her eyes as a pair of ruby brows drew together. 'They spend all their lives laboring under the burden of countless oppressors. Waiting… just waiting for a hero or for their misery to pass. But if everyone is waiting… that day will nevercome never come.' Her hand at her side clenched tightly into a fist, 'I have waited too long too… I will be that hero, that savior this place longs for. I’ll burn away the darkness and cast down the oppressors low! And then, they will see… they will all see that potential that shines within them. and There will not be one hero but many! How can the night stand against so many rays of bright hope? How can the wicked scum that plagues this earth hope to survive against the purging might of so many countless flames of righteous, wrathful justice?'
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♠ Hyuuga Nagasaki
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The Optimistic Admin

I apologize for the delays, but this application really took a lot of my time to check. Because you wrote a long application that I had to go through every little thing, I'll give you a long feedback also.

To start off, you didn't have to necessarily put something on what Anime/Game/Show your character is in. If she didn't exist anywhere, just simply put "N/A". Don't make it too complicated with what you imagined her to be in.

There was just some grammar and spelling corrections in RED. Please DO NOT remove it if you're going to edit your application. The ones in YELLOW, you can edit because you need to make that sentence clearer. Pardon me, but I tend to be a critic when I'm reading applications.
  • You often put dashes (-) in your application or too much commas with dashes later on. When you add too much commas and dashes in one sentence, it makes it look like a run-on sentence that goes on forever. Be careful with too much commas in a sentence! I suggest you put periods or semicolons instead, and separate some sentences instead of making it into one sentence that looks like a huge paragraph. It gets really "draggy" when you read one sentence that's super long. There's a chance that the reader might get lost with what you're trying to say because you're not being specific and clear...you just tend to go on and on. I always see in your application...these long sentences that goes on and on.

  • It is better to use a semicolon (;) before the word "however" when you have it in the middle of a sentence...followed by a comma (,) so it would look like: ; however,. Words that are meant as "pausing" words should have a comma after (e.g "yet", "soon").

  • Your detail was nice and all, but it gets a bit "draggy" (no offense, but this is a roleplay where you interact with people, not bombard them with details about what your character looks like) when you go on and on about her eyes or her lips. Hopefully, you won't do that often in a roleplay because the members wouldn't want to read that much "description" about what your character looks like when they can just look at your character's application.

  • Some sentences were difficult to comprehend. Whenever you try to get wordy with your words, sometimes, it loses the meaning of it. For instance, this sentence doesn't really make sense when you read it out-loud (it's in YELLOW): "whatever they focused their energies on, devoted their lives to seemed to invariably end in ruin." I was trying to correct that sentence, but I didn't know how because I didn't understand what you're trying to say.

  • When you're introducing a person as a relation (e.g. Thomas' brother, Michael,...), you put a comma before and after the name. I already gave you the brother example. But another would be "Sophia's father, Thomas,".

  • The letter "f" in "father" should not be capitalized unless it's the first word in the sentence or if it's what the person is actually called by (as in his name, which I don't think it is). Unless you have him being seen as a superior being (e.g. like the God Almighty "Father"), then that's an exception. But because she doesn't give any respect to her so-called "father", I don't think you needed it to have capitalized. Another example of having it capitalized would be in Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, there's a being that was called "Mother" [Jenova's remains]. The "m" in "mother" can be capitalized, but it doesn't necessarily have to but she is viewed as a superior being. If you're only describing him as the father, then it doesn't need to be capitalized.

  • I was a bit perplexed with what you're trying to say on this sentence: "a set of starts". Do you mean "a set of stars"? Or is it really "starts" instead of "stars"?

  • Use a colon (:) when you're going to make a list of ideas after a sentence. Example: "this requires two things: idea 1, idea 2, etc."

  • "High school" is a separated word.

  • The first letters of Latin (the "L") and Greek (the "G") should be capitalized.

  • When you're making a list of words/ideas in a sentence with commas (if there are 3 or more ideas on that list) then, you put a comma before the word "and". Example: "one, two, and three".

  • You tend to use the word "simply" when it's supposed to be "simple".

  • In the sentence "Poked wholes", the word "wholes" wouldn't be the right word to use. The word "holes" is more appropriate. When you use a different word, it would either not make sense or would have the sentence end up with some different meaning.

  • Thought quotes should also be italicized.
Now this is where it gets complicated. Your character seemed to have these "good qualities" at such a young age (at the ages of 9 and 11). Being rich, loves the library, athletic, good in fencing, being a leader of a gang of little boys just because she can put up a fight, and being able to beat up her father's friend...who was, supposedly, an adult. Don't you think your character became "too special" for just being a little kid? Not only that, she had good grades in school, taught with special subjects because of her grades (it's like teaching a gifted child to become more gifted), then she has these unique abilities, etc. etc.

You need to lessen her so-called of a too much of special gifts she have. And hey, she can even manipulate a lot of elements, heal, turn into different creatures, and enhance her physical attributes (speed, strength, and endurance)! How special is that to an already special made-up character?

It's good that you have limitations, but the her good qualities still dominates over the limitations. It has to be equal. Not a lot of members here in ARPF uses "magic" to even notice that there's someone disguised themselves as a creature. Bear in mind that they have other abilities other than "magic". So, how would they even notice her or fend themselves if she can use all these magic and special abilities to fight?

Not only that she's a magician, but she's also like a warrior that's so-called talented with swords...especially her enchanted sword. And she appears to be an angel too? Make up your mind. There's so many things going on with this character...she has this special transformation that makes her all Godly. Does she even have a limitation on her "Holy Avenger" form? You mostly mentioned her Godly abilities.
________________________________

If you're ever going to write a long application again, please do both of us a favor and, at least, check your grammar/spelling stuff before you have an Admin check it. Not only that we have to go through reading all this stuff, but we have to correct some things so that what we're reading would be clearer. And also, we're concerned about Background and Specialties when it comes to a Made-Up characters because they don't really exist (referring to a certain show, etc.) in the first place. So, I have a lot of things to critique.

I'm pretty sure you already wrote this character's stuff because you stated that she originally had a biography of 12 pages, at least, the biography part. But please check your application first to make it easier for the both of us. The more concise and clearer your application is, the easier it is for me to have it accepted.

Also, you just need to be straight to the point of what you're trying to say instead of going on and on. You try to make such an impressive/long application that you don't really notice the little mistakes you have. And those little mistakes tend to be a crucial aspect of what I'm looking for in an application. Just because you write long, doesn't mean I'm not going to notice little mistakes. I'm not easily impressed with length, I'm more focused on the quality (and simplicity) rather than quantity (with intricacy).

The longer I read, the more I'm wondering as of what are you trying to say about your character because you babble about other ideas that wasn't really relevant to a certain topic (e.g. you have other 'background-like' ideas in your Specialties). Specialties are supposed to be her special abilities, not why she likes this God, having fondness of symbols, or whatsoever. What I'm trying to say here is just keep things simple...it will make things easier for the both of us. I'm not going to be the only one also that would say that this character has too much specialties.
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