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| Sophia Luxford; Character Application | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 7 2009, 10:15 PM (139 Views) | |
| Sophia Luxford | Nov 7 2009, 10:15 PM Post #1 |
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Name: Elizabeth Sophia Luxford Nickname: Sophia Gender: Female Age: 17 Anime/Game/Show: N/A Made-Up?: Made-up. Type: Protagonist Description: The first thing most notice as they gaze upon this girl is a mane of fiery hair that spreads out from her head, pouring down her shoulders and back in untamed waves and the occasional curl. Her hair comes to a end at the small of her back. It is with an odd preternatural force that most eyes are attracted to this young girl's form. She seems to strike the mind in an odd way that seems to be beyond the mere physical sense. Most minds seem to get the impression; however, wild the she may appear, Her Image: Posted Image Background Note: This character originally had a biography about 12 pages long… but most of that focuses on the setting she comes from, her family’s history, and their curse. So I’ll just focus on the character herself since that is what is important in a setting like this. The setting is basically the modern world, with supernatural things happening under the surface out of the public view. Background Info: Sophia was born to a family of British aristocrats in Modern England, under a unique set of stars that marked a unique destiny for the young girl. Her family was more than it appeared. Though the Luxford estate was decrepit and the members of her family were dwindling in number, their current state concealed a grand and glorious past. Since the beginning of the middle ages, the Luxford were members of a Somewhere along the lines in the 17th century, the Luxfords parted from the Order of Hermes; though, magic continued to flow in their blood. And Soon, their glorious past was forgotten by the majority of the clan as they struggled with the realities of their curse; save for those very few who managed to awaken to their magical talents in such an environment. Sophia’s father, Thomas, was one of the first in generations to even realize his families' supernatural capabilities, but instead of embracing his families heritage in his children, he discouraged it amongst his children. He was convinced that the pursuit of magic would lead what little remained of his family to ruin. Even the mundane members of the Luxford clan seemed to realize their family’s ill-fortune. The Luxford’s seemed to have something of a reverse-midas touch… whatever they focused their energies on, devoted their lives to seemed to invariably end in ruin. [<--DOESN'T MAKE SENSE] Thomas’ sister joined the royal navy early on, having an illustrious career until a series of events led to her desertion to the USSR, mere years before the communist empire collapsed. Thomas’ brother, Michael, devoted himself to business. Convinced that he should learn from the other’s example, Thomas gave up early on attempting to accomplish anything with his life. Instead, he resigned himself to a life of debauchery and high-life among the aristocrats of England. His children, too, would follow his path. His two first children, Aaron and Luke, proved successful in this regard. But it was his youngest child that proved to shattered the relative calm he had brought to his family… for she was born under a set of starts [YOU MEAN "STARS"?] that indicated a bright destiny before her and an acute talent for magic. Luckily, by the time she was born, both Aaron and Luke were in a boarding school and attending university respectively, giving him a chance to focus on his daughter’s upbringing. As with all his children, he raised her in ignorance of the existence of magic much less her propensity for it. Since she was a willful and energetic girl, and so early on he signed her up for fencing school. She seemed to have a natural aptitude for swordplay and quickly progressed through teachers. Eager to give his daughter an outlet, Thomas hired some of the best fencing Though she was a brilliant student and was accepted easily to famous private schools near her estate, she always seemed acutely aware of the destiny that awaited her. At first, as a mere girl, there was no way for her to pursue what she saw as the grand fate that awaited her. A kind of restlessness affected her as the girl withdrawing socially from those around her, unable to find satisfaction in the normal things that a primary school girl should. Instead, she threw herself into the books of It was about this time that Sophia started to develop an intense hate for Thomas. When she was around age nine, Sophia’s mother, Laura, was in the hospital with a terminal illness. Thomas, ever the womanizer, felt no qualms with calling his daughter out of the library and having her meet one of his paramours. The child, in But being so young, she had little chance to express her disdain for Thomas and his ways. He always had the upper-hand, even when she was bold enough to face him directly. A threat of taking away her key to the library or her cherished fencing instructors was enough to cool the willful girl’s temper. It was not until when she was around eleven years old that she managed to find an outlet that was not approved by her father. One day, coming home from her school, the girl encountered a group of boys on the side of the road. The boys were lower-class and from the town near her families estate, ranging from the ages of 8-10. They were fighting, and the girl could not help but think it looked fun. So she hurried home and changed out of her uniform, pulling on what best she could in terms of what she considered ‘lower-class’ clothes and returned to them, attempting to take part of their little game. At first, the boys were skeptical but Sophia was athletic. Soon, she managed to get control of the little gang of ruffians, feeling for the first time to pursue her own ideals: to be truly free from her father and the society she hated. That summer, she turned their gang away from the boys' games of scuffles and hill-top battles to target people in the town she considered the epitome of the sort of thing she despised. She and her little gang ran several of the more corrupt business owners of town, managing to evade arrest. She and her friends even beat up one of her father’s friends who, she knew, was famous for sucking money out of the poorer people in the town. Yet, Depressed at the elimination of her one outlet, Sophia threw herself into her study of swordsmanship and her work at One of their wizards, Augustus Celestine, slipped into Sophia’s prestigious The wizard was laying the ground work for her awakening to her magic potential. She could not master the ways of magic, in Sophia’s world, without rejecting the reality that the modern world embraced. It required not only logical understanding of a new paradigm that embraced the possibility of magic, but a visceral, deep experience that purged the notions of human limitations from her very psyche. At age sixteen, all of his work came to a head. Sophia was defending her title as England’s national champion in fencing when an aggressive parry on her part broken her sabre and impaled the other student, horribly injuring him Her rage at the injustice dealt was enough to drive her to the breaking point. She broken into her father’s room. Augustus The result was as expected, the Luxford estate was going up in flames. Unharmed by the licking fire, she stormed out of the burning building, convinced that she would pursue the powers Augustus had offered her and defy her curse. She would use her power to seek justice in a world that desperately needed it and protect the weak from the predations of the wicked. And if she could, she would change the very world she lived in into a world of justice, burning the last And yet, it was there on the grounds of the estate she faced her father. And Thomas was, for once, direct and stern with her in the face of her rage. He had done all he had simply to protect her and the family. The path she was about to take would lead to her to ruin, if not, to her death. He had merely wished to give her a life of happiness instead of despair. It took all the willpower the girl could muster not to struck him. In a flurry of enraged words, she replied she would rather die trying to escape his world of despair than live having never amounted to anything. And so the girl went with Augutus, embracing his vision and the Order of Hermes. But would she wield her magic as a weapon of rage, anger, and hate? Or would the Order be able to teach her the restraint that she needed to be able to curve and control her fiery wrath and the magic that flowed from it? Or would she be consumed by it all as her father had predicted? Specialties: Sophia is a Fire Mage and relies on medieval Sophia’s magic functions by using her will to shape the threads of reality about her. However, at her level this requires two things: an invocation (as mentioned above) and a physical object to focus her power. The focus depends on what kind of magic she is using. However, she invariably uses foci that connected to her sword as it is both the ideal she follows (that of a Knight/Crusader) and her weapon of choice. Elemental magic is Sophia’s forte, and the foci for this magic is a bladed weapon. She almost invariably chooses to attack with fire While normally Sophia is very athletic and strong, she can use her magic to enhance her strength, speed, or endurance. The foci for this kind of magic is an ankh she usually wears about her neck. This kind of magic can also be used with more difficulty to heal or transform one living thing into another. She could even modify her appearance if she chose to, though any creature with the capability of sensing magic would realize magic about her. Sophia has less skill in the magics that affect time and distance. A diamond is the focus for time magic. With a ritual, she can manipulate time around her so that she moves much more quickly than normal. Or she can attempt with great difficulty indeed to roll back time (a few seconds at best). This, however, is perhaps the most dangerous type of magic she could try and use… and is She prefers to use the crusader sword that she arms herself with. Her particular crusader sword has been The final thing that deserves a mention is a ritual she likes to draw on. Normally, this would take almost five minutes to cast… the result is the transformation of Sophia into what she calls the Holy Avenger. Though Sample Roleplay: A pair of pale pink finger tips touched a rain droplet-covered window panel as a pair of emerald green eyes looked out upon a world lost in shadow and drenched in rain. Beneath the window, a few sad figures milled about in the shabby garden with depressed looks on their faces. Yet, there was determination in those green eyes, a surprising fierce will. 'Look at it…', thought the red-haired girl from her place by the window. 'Look how lost they always are to despair. You would think they have never seen a ray of sunlight their entire lives.' Her thoughts were very much being carried beyond the rainy garden beneath her and to the world at large. A flame of determination sparked in her eyes as a pair of ruby brows drew together. 'They spend all their lives laboring under the burden of countless oppressors. Waiting… just waiting for a hero or for their misery to pass. But if everyone is waiting… that day will |
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| ♠ Hyuuga Nagasaki | Nov 19 2009, 08:27 PM Post #2 |
The Optimistic Admin
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I apologize for the delays, but this application really took a lot of my time to check. Because you wrote a long application that I had to go through every little thing, I'll give you a long feedback also. To start off, you didn't have to necessarily put something on what Anime/Game/Show your character is in. If she didn't exist anywhere, just simply put "N/A". Don't make it too complicated with what you imagined her to be in. There was just some grammar and spelling corrections in RED. Please DO NOT remove it if you're going to edit your application. The ones in YELLOW, you can edit because you need to make that sentence clearer. Pardon me, but I tend to be a critic when I'm reading applications.
You need to lessen her so-called of a too much of special gifts she have. And hey, she can even manipulate a lot of elements, heal, turn into different creatures, and enhance her physical attributes (speed, strength, and endurance)! How special is that to an already special made-up character? It's good that you have limitations, but the her good qualities still dominates over the limitations. It has to be equal. Not a lot of members here in ARPF uses "magic" to even notice that there's someone disguised themselves as a creature. Bear in mind that they have other abilities other than "magic". So, how would they even notice her or fend themselves if she can use all these magic and special abilities to fight? Not only that she's a magician, but she's also like a warrior that's so-called talented with swords...especially her enchanted sword. And she appears to be an angel too? Make up your mind. There's so many things going on with this character...she has this special transformation that makes her all Godly. Does she even have a limitation on her "Holy Avenger" form? You mostly mentioned her Godly abilities. ________________________________ If you're ever going to write a long application again, please do both of us a favor and, at least, check your grammar/spelling stuff before you have an Admin check it. Not only that we have to go through reading all this stuff, but we have to correct some things so that what we're reading would be clearer. And also, we're concerned about Background and Specialties when it comes to a Made-Up characters because they don't really exist (referring to a certain show, etc.) in the first place. So, I have a lot of things to critique. I'm pretty sure you already wrote this character's stuff because you stated that she originally had a biography of 12 pages, at least, the biography part. But please check your application first to make it easier for the both of us. The more concise and clearer your application is, the easier it is for me to have it accepted. Also, you just need to be straight to the point of what you're trying to say instead of going on and on. You try to make such an impressive/long application that you don't really notice the little mistakes you have. And those little mistakes tend to be a crucial aspect of what I'm looking for in an application. Just because you write long, doesn't mean I'm not going to notice little mistakes. I'm not easily impressed with length, I'm more focused on the quality (and simplicity) rather than quantity (with intricacy). The longer I read, the more I'm wondering as of what are you trying to say about your character because you babble about other ideas that wasn't really relevant to a certain topic (e.g. you have other 'background-like' ideas in your Specialties). Specialties are supposed to be her special abilities, not why she likes this God, having fondness of symbols, or whatsoever. What I'm trying to say here is just keep things simple...it will make things easier for the both of us. I'm not going to be the only one also that would say that this character has too much specialties. |
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3:49 PM Nov 23
