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You spend your whole life just to remember the sound When the world was brighter
Topic Started: Dec 1 2017, 09:11 PM (69 Views)
Rune Haugen

Depending on who you asked, Rune had been born as either special, or different. To his parents, to his brother, he had been born special. He had been born to his parents when both thought they were too old to be having children and a brother that was only four years away from being a legal adult. He had been a miracle to him, everything he did was reason to celebrate. He was the newest addition to their family and they would be damned if he ever doubted it. To the people Rune went to school with, his teachers, they'd say he was different. He wasn't...normal like the other students. He didn't think or act like the other students. Everyone always told him that, but honestly? It seemed like they were the ones who were different. Most of his life in school, he had felt like he was in a glass case and not only were people talking to him through that barrier, it seemed like everyone else was talking an entirely different language. Most of the time he felt he understood, most of the time he could figure things out. But there were days that he just felt like he was some kind of human explorer on an alien world. Most of the other students hadn't like him. Some of the teachers had been frustrated with him, but it seemed like many more liked him just because he was quiet and actually did his work while no one else did. Ultimately for Rune, all that mattered was that his family loved him. Especially Magne. Magne was, in Rune's opinion, the best big brother in the world. He was such an adult that Rune was fascinated, especially when Magne picked him up and took him off on adventures with Cedric. Some of Rune's favorite memories was being strapped to Magne's chest as a baby and just...dozing away as he was carried everywhere, listening to the drone of Cedric's voice. Most of the kids Rune knew growing up didn't get along with their brothers who were one or two years older and here he was with a brother who was fourteen years older and he seemed to adore having Rune around. Him and Cedric seemed to have no problem including Rune on things, babysitting him, or anything like that. Rune felt horribly proud.

It was only when he was a little bit older that his family learned the truth. When he was five, he didn't quite understand things like "autism" and "Asperger's syndrome". His parents seemed to, because they went very quiet, but it all just seemed like words to Rune. Things changed a little for him then. Once he had had that doctor's visit, they put him in a slightly different class where the teacher was kinder and the students were different. No one was loud in that class, no one talked to him expecting him to understand what they were talking about, no one pushed him to make conversation. No, that was all saved for therapy. No shame in it, his parents always said with weird sort of looks to each other, but it was to help Rune. Didn't he want to look people in the eye? Not really. Didn't he want to start conversations with people? Sometimes. Didn't he want to understand why some people reacted the way that they did? Often. He didn't really realize he had a problem until he went to therapy and they started asking him what pictures of people meant. They showed him pictures of people who were frowning and asked if the person was happy or sad, but Rune didn't have an answer. They showed him a picture of someone crying and asked if the person was angry or confused, but Rune was still confused. He couldn't understand what, exactly, the point of the pictures were and that was just lesson one. He had trouble recognizing social cues, body languages. People had gotten angry with him before because he had no clue that they were in bad moods or angry or anything like that. Even his own family he hadn't been able to read their body language. It took years, essentially, for him to learn, to begin to understand what he was seeing and there was still a part of him that didn't understand. He'd see Magne frown and know he was angry but it felt like a weirdly foreign concept, even as he got older and recognized that when he frowned he was angry too. It was that glass wall protecting him from this alien world. But he grew, he learned to understand. He had the love of his parents, his brother, his brothers and most of the people around him just considered him a "little weird", even when he started picking up obsessing over creepy stories and facts.

And then one day he met Tuck and Magnolia. The two of them were like a whirlwind, upsetting his little world, which set his teeth on edge and made him kind of upset but they were talking to him and engaging him and they seemed so interested in him. They were was first real interaction Rune had had since Cedric and Magne had broken up, since Magne had moved to Los Angeles and Cedric had gone off to Canada. The two of them didn't seem to mind that Rune was "a little odd", they just thought he was fun to be around. Sure, Magnolia sometimes got nervous when he started telling her about things like murders that happened in the area, but Tuck had listened with all the solemness that Magne use to. They went on adventures, which was something Rune never did. Rune liked his routine, it made him happy. He liked getting up, getting his breakfast, getting ready, walking the same path every day. He liked it because he knew it so well and there was nothing worse than changing that up because...what did he do? If he had to take a different route to places, how did he know he would make it there okay? If he had to change his breakfast, how did he know it was settled? If he had do something differently, how did he know for sure that he was going to notice all the social cues and all the little details that were normal to everyone else? But Tuck...well, Tuck had this way about him that made everything seem like a good idea and Magnolia was so sweet and so sturdy that you knew she was going to make sure Tuck didn't get too crazy. They were the perfect friends. But then, inevitably it seemed, came the day that they were going to leave. They were going to see the world, they said, they were going to see everything the world had to offer. Rune could come too, if he wanted to, Tuck had said it eagerly. It had taken Rune a long time to figure out he had been hoping Rune would say yes. But Rune hemmed and hawed and said that no, he needed to stay put. Someone had to watch over his parents. Tuck and Magnolia left with disappointment but a promise to come back.

Life returned to normal. Rune went back to his normal job where he entered data and he was left mostly alone. He got "well" enough that he was able to manage his money and he found himself a nice studio apartment that was close to work. He was happy, he liked how things were going...and then Tuck and Magnolia came back. A while had past, he felt, though it felt like it had been weeks, not a full year since he had last seen them. They looked different. They looked...tired and there faces were set in the way that said they were unhappy. And then Magnolia was in his arms and she was crying and crying and crying and each sob seemed to hit Tuck like it was a physical blow. All Rune could do was hold her, pat her back, wanting to say something as Tuck slipped away but unable to. Magnolia told him then, told him that she and Tuck had had a baby. They had a beautiful little girl that they had named Esmeralda and she had been the happiest baby in the world. But, she had added, they were never going to grow old; she told him about them being immortal and the thing was little baby Essie hadn't had any of that magic water. She grew, unlike Tuck and Magnolia. She aged, unlike her parents. The two of them had panicked, she had cried, and taken Essie to Magnolia's sister, where said sister had said she would take Essie, but Magnolia and Tuck had to promise they wouldn't come back, not for a good few years. And when they did? They were suppose to act like they had never met Essie before. It sounded horribly cruel to Rune, but also like he was missing something else. Finally she wore herself out and he tucked her into bed. A part of him felt worn out just by having dealt with that, but he knew he couldn't leave Tuck alone. He had looked just as bad as Magnolia. So he had left his little apartment, walking the small distance to the man made lake that Tuck was by. He needed to say something, but what did he say? Would a normal person know what to say?
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Tuck Starling
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His mother and his brother had always said Tuck didn't think much, that he never looked ahead and thought about repercussions. His father, of course, said plenty of things but never something so specific. He could remember his brother yelling at him more than once to stop and think, that his actions had consequences and he never planned for anything. Tuck couldn't blame them for thinking it either because it was at least somewhat true. He hadn't always thought about what he was doing. He had climbed trees and poked his head into caves where he shouldn't. He had gone swimming without knowing anything about what was there. He had gone in and crept off with Maggie to places that weren't inherently bad but could get them into trouble, especially her. He had convinced Maggie to run away with him without any planning for where they would stay, where they would go, what they would do, how they would have money. He had stolen his father's truck and hadn't thought of how he could technically be arrested for that if his father reported it stolen before they abandoned it. He hadn't bothered to think about any of those things and, truthfully, he hadn't needed to because, in the end, it had worked out. It always seemed to work out for him. His brother had once that said that almost maliciously but Tuck had brushed it off. Whether it did or didn't, he was going to live his life the way he wanted it and the way he wanted it had turned out to be traveling the country - traveling the world - with Maggie because he loved her, because she made his life quite literally brighter, and because she was his partner in crime. They were going to do wonderful things, they were going to see things no one else had ever seen and if there were bumps along the way then those bumps would always smooth out for them, he was sure.

One of the things that he really hadn't thought through much or looked ahead on was immortality. He had convinced Maggie in his easy manner to drink the water with him and they had been excited and happy. They were going to live forever! They were going to see every corner of the world! Look how many neat things they had seen, look at all the people they had met! They had met people like Jojo and Garrett, who had been their first friends besides one another. They had met the group of friends that Jojo and Garrett held. They had made their way all the way across the country to Montana and had met Rune, who had brought more color and joy toe their lives. They had gone up to Canada where they had met Magne and Cedric. Back down to Arkansas to see Maggie's one good sister and Tuck's own brother who was getting along better than he had been when Tuck had left. Tuck had happily played with his nephew while they had visited, noting how much bigger he had gotten since he had last seen him. When they had visited Dahlia (and her husband, Frankie, and the other strange man who lived with them now, Reuben) they had both delighted at baby Lizzie and how big she was getting. In the back of their minds, it was starting to slowly dawn on them but neither of them had fully thought it or fully come to terms with it yet. It hadn't been until Maggie had told him that she was pregnant one day. They had been excited. They had been happy on their journeys together but now they would have a baby, they would have their own baby to raise and love. They wouldn't be alone and they could bring their baby to see all the people in their lives, people like Rune who they both said they missed on a daily basis. Life was going to be just perfect, so far as they were concerned.

When Maggie had given birth, the excitement hadn't diminished much at all. Their baby was perfect. She had a perfect smile and bright, clear eyes. She waved her little arms and had a pretty little head of strawberry blonde hair that Tuck loved to smooth against her head. She was healthy and happy and behaved so much better than most people said babies did. Esmeralda, they had named her, but they only called her Essie. She grew and grew, one day no longer the small baby who couldn't quite look at anything without crossing her eyes. She was turning into a toddler, babbling more and more at them although with no sense of meaning in the words. She was making struggled, aborted attempts to stand, using Tuck's hands or legs as her guide. And, one day, she hurt herself - a small wound, something that required no more than about two stitches but had meant a lot of stress, fretting and an unhappy child. And the realization had dawned on the both of them slowly that she could be hurt. Unlike them, she could die. She could fall or drown or get in a car accident and she would be no more. She kept growing and they didn't. One day, she would be ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty... and Tuck and Maggie would be eighteen. They had panicked somewhat, they hadn't really known what to do and that had lead them to going back to visit Maggie's sister and the hardest decision they'd ever made in their lives. They would leave her there, let her live in a family that was normal, a family that would age and be mortal and have a steady home and love and warmth but they couldn't see her. Not for years, not until there was no memory of them for her. It had broken their hearts the both of them. Tuck liked to pretend it had broken Maggie's more than his but it was just lying to himself so he could put on a braver front for her.

He had done his best for her but he knew it wasn't enough. How could it be? This wasn't the kind of thing you bounced back from in a few days. So Tuck had taken her to where he knew would be best for both of them. Rune was good for them, a solace to their hearts and their souls, and Tuck knew he could count on him. It was perhaps a bit cruel to spring all of this on him but Maggie had moved before Tuck could even begin to explain why they were there. She had sobbed and Tuck had realized maybe she needed someone who wasn't him to tell about it. They hurt, though. It felt like someone was slicing off pieces of his heart and his soul with every sob because that was his Maggie crying and he was the reason for it. So he had slipped away because he knew Rune would let her cry and talk and soothe her. He always felt better in nature even if that nature was small and man made. So he had taken himself to the lake, picking stones up from the water's edges to throw and skim along the top of the water. A long time later, he heard someone coming to him and he knew it was Rune. He didn't have to turn around because he could feel, the same way he could feel when Maggie was near, and he only turned when Rune came up right next to him. He bent down to pick up a couple other rocks. "You ever learned how to skim rocks?" he asked. He was sure Rune was waiting for him to broach the subject but he didn't know how to. "Want me to teach you?"
Edited by Tuck Starling, Dec 11 2017, 03:53 PM.
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Rune Haugen

All Rune wanted to do was tell his friends that he couldn't help them, he didn't know what to do for them. He didn't have any of the right words to say and wasn't that what everyone was looking for? They were looking for people to have the comforting words, the words that essentially meant "it's okay now" but...more. His parents had had the right words when Magne decided to move to Los Angeles and shortly after, Cedric moved to Canada. Rune had cried for hours because his brothers were leaving, but his parents had shushed him and soothed him. He just...couldn't remember the words. He had been useless to Magnolia, letting her just cry and cry and cry as she talked about the baby she had had. It was awful, but he had been kind of glad when she had fallen asleep because he didn't need to ponder what he was suppose to say. And then he had gone after Tuck. He could have just stayed with Magnolia, told Tuck and himself that he had stayed to keep her company...but Tuck was his friend too and he worried. Tuck had slipped away and he had looked almost worse than Magnolia. Magnolia had been sad, eyes red and cheeks stained...but Tuck had looked tired. He looked like a man who had spent months in a hospital bed waiting to die. That wasn't the sort of person Rune could just leave to handle things on his own. Except he hadn't prepared for what to say. He didn't know what to tell him and he knew that he couldn't just go hugging on Tuck. That was too forward, right? It might be wanted, but you didn't just latch onto your friend right away and hug them. Tuck saved him from having to think on it too much by asking about skipping stones. He bit his lip a tiny bit. "Magne showed me when I was little," he said and only realized after he said it that probably wasn't what he was suppose to say. He was suppose to let Tuck show him because it was something normal. "I was never very good, though," he said after a moment of hesitation, "I don't think he understood I had smaller hands." Because Magne had been so much older than him and sometimes he forgot. There had been quite a few times where they had been things like they had been planning to climb fences and Magne had forgotten just how short he was, left jumping to grab the top of a fence he'd never, ever be able to reach.

Rune knew he couldn't avoid the topic forever, even if he (and probably Tuck) wanted to. That was what his parents and therapist always told him, anyway. Sometimes things hurt to talk or think about and sometimes it was okay to not talk or think about it while you prepared to deal with it, but you couldn't avoid it forever. That brought it's own problems, his therapist said. "You and Magnolia had a baby," he suddenly blurted out, saying it like Tuck wouldn't have known, like Tuck had been unaware the entire time. He winced a tiny bit. "I...sorry, I didn't mean to just...say it." Once upon a time, he use to say he was sorry and he hadn't meant it, he hadn't meant anything. His therapist had stressed on him that he had meant it, the thoughts wouldn't be bounding around in his head if he hadn't meant it. It was more that he hadn't meant to say it in a certain manner or maybe he hadn't meant to say it before he had a chance to think about it rationally, but it wasn't like someone put the thoughts there. He had meant to broach the subject in such a blunt way, saying it without softening the blow. Tuck looked like he needed to have some gentleness right now and Rune had probably just done what could have been considered to be a slap in the face. He chewed at the inside of his cheek, glancing away. "I'm sorry you guys had to give the baby up," he said softly, sincerely. He didn't understand babies, not really. He didn't understand kids. Babies were worse than adults – Rune could kind of figure out adults when he was focusing, he could understand the facial expressions from his years of work. Babies? Babies were wholly different. Babies cried for no reason, their faces were always kind of scrunched up and that was how they looked when they felt everything, and they didn't get mad in the same way adults did and they couldn't just tell people what was wrong with them. At least adults could say when something was bothering them, not that always did. Babies were...weird. But Tuck and Magnolia had very obviously loved the baby they had, they had cared so much about it. He didn't think anyone would have cried as much as Magnolia if something hadn't mattered quite a bit to them.

He fidgeted a tiny bit, watching his friend as the other man seemed to avoid looking at him. "I don't understand, though...why did you guys give up the baby if you loved her so much?" he couldn't quite keep the confusion out of his voice. Tuck and Magnolia had loved the baby, but they had given her up? That didn't make sense. It was all that Magnolia had offered in explanation too. There had been no 'we couldn't keep traveling with her' (even though he felt if that was the reason, the two of them would have settled down in a heartbeat) or 'we didn't have the money to keep her'. It had just been "we had to give her up". There had been no explanation and Rune had been left confused and feeling like he was missing a big chunk of information. Magne would have known what was implied, he felt; his big brother would have taken one look at the two of his friends and he would have known and understood in a way that Rune just...couldn't. He wished he could call Magne or Cedric, could have asked their advice, but Tuck and Magnolia were here now. They hadn't called to tell him they were coming, hadn't told him that there had been a baby. They hadn't prepared him. He wanted to be mad at them and if they had been less his friends, he might have...but then again, if they hadn't quite been his friends, he imagined they wouldn't come crying to him about this to begin with. He still wanted to channel Magne, thinking about what Magne would do. The problem was he was constantly reminded that Magne was different, Magne wasn't...special like Rune. He didn't have some weird disconnect in his brain that made it hard for him to understand the world around him. The situation Rune was in, he realized, was delicate and that meant that Rune was left flopping around in the dark because he couldn't understand. Still Rune wanted to try because Tuck was important to him. Tuck and Magnolia were his first friends, it felt like.

Cautiously, watching Tuck probably more than he ever had before, he reached out, putting a hand to Tuck's arm. When that didn't get an adverse reaction, he pulled Tuck in, wrapping his arms around him. He pulled Tuck into a hug, holding him close and tucking his head against Tuck's. It felt good and right to Rune, but it was one of those things he didn't know if Tuck felt the same. Maybe he did, maybe he needed this, but maybe Tuck needed to not be touched, to be able to stay in his own personal bubble. He squeezed his arms around the other man, squeezed him warmly. "You know you and Magnolia can stay with me. As long as you two needed it, my place is your place. I think...maybe it's better if you guys stay for a little bit." Tuck might say no, they needed to travel, they needed to go out and pretend like nothing happened, but Rune felt different. He thought, maybe, they needed to stay in one place, heal in the company of someone who loved them and just...cope. But what did Rune know, really?
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Tuck Starling
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There was a heavy silence between them, the kind of silence that Tuck had never really had before. He was used to talk. He was used to babbling excitedly to the people around him and getting similar responses. He was used to chattering for hours nonstop with Maggie. He wasn't used to this heavy, uncomfortable silence that was full of nothing but hesitance and hurt. Rune was a silent individual but it had never felt this way before with him. Tuck and Magnolia had slipped into Rune's life almost seamlessly and he had fit into theirs as if he were made to do so. Now they felt... jangled, almost. Like they suddenly didn't fit and he had no idea how to fix that. Maybe it just needed time. They had just sprung themselves onto Rune and Rune didn't deal well with sudden changes. They should have known better, really, and he cursed himself for that. He should have said they should call or wait to spring things on him but they had just been so hurt and looking for comfort that they had acted rather than thought... or he had, anyways. That had been an awful lot of their problems, it seemed. Tuck rushed into things and Maggie was stuck being dragged along behind him. This was just one more example of that, wasn't it? And now they were dragging Rune along behind them too. He shook his head a little, trying to dismiss the thoughts. He had never been a pessimistic person before but this had rocked him - the both of them - very hard. When Rune spoke, Tuck almost felt his shoulders slump a little. He had been hoping for a distraction, honestly. "Oh," he heard himself say, his tone completely unlike how he normally was. The other young man continued on, though, and Tuck realized what he was being offered. There were plenty of people who seemed bent on saying that Rune was "slow" but, honestly, Tuck knew he was as sharp as could be when he needed to be. "I'll show you!" It was a welcome distraction, honestly. Tuck moved closer to his friend, standing just behind him. In a fully intimate gesture he reached out to take Rune's hand from behind. "Like this," he said, showing him the little flicking motions with his wrist. It was somewhat baffling to Tuck at times. He loved Maggie more than anything in this world. Literal color had come into his life with her... but Rune made him happy, too. Rune had brought more color with him and they had talked a little about it, him and Maggie. Rune just felt like he perfectly fit with them and Tuck had decided to stop worrying about feelings and questioning things when he and Maggie were with Rune. All he - and they - knew was that they cared deeply and loved one another. They didn't need to make things strange or label it, just let it be as it was so long as they were all happy.

Of course, right now, neither he nor Magnolia were happy... and Rune probably wasn't either. Not with the way that they had descended down on him. Honestly, he had never expected Rune to confront the situation head on like he just had. Tuck couldn't stop the wince that came from the words and he was far more silent than he normally would be when Rune rushed to apologize to him for just blurting it out loud. Usually, Tuck was easy going, he was quick with assurances for Rune, he was quick to make him feel better. Right now, he felt a bit empty, a bit hollow, because he didn't know what to do with his life. Everything had been so crystal clear up until a few weeks ago. Now everything felt wrong, felt a jumbled mess. He breathed in deeply and gave a long sigh. "Yes, we did," he finally said in response to Rune's statement. There was no use in denying it when Magnolia had undoubtedly told him everything. Denying it wouldn't help anything and would just confuse the other young man. Tuck just wished he knew what to do or say because... he was lost. That was what he had felt like ever since they had left Essie. He was lost, drifting at sea, and he had nothing to grab onto to help him find his way and right himself. After a moment, Rune spoke again and said that he was sorry they had to give the baby up. Tuck let his hand drop away from Rune's wrist, turning himself away so he didn't just start spilling tears right there. He had never had a problem in showing emotions before but right now he wasn't sure how to. It was like he thought Maggie should have the most of the tears and so he had let his dry up for the moment. "I am, too," he finally said, softly and with sincerity. He realized he wasn't being open and gregarious, inviting, and that was probably not helping Rune with the situation that they had dropped into his lap. It was just hard to turn himself back around to how he used to be.

He couldn't stop himself from wincing again at the direct question. Rune was just that way. He'd been that way since they met him and they knew that... but it didn't make it easier to hear. It didn't make it easier to hear a blunt and direction question about a subject he would much rather avoid... but he couldn't avoid it. Rune knew the situation, but he didn't know the whole story. Tuck could tell him that it was "just because" or name any number of reasons but Tuck didn't like lying and besides, Rune deserved to know. He was the one person in the world that they felt comfortable enough with to come to in their time of need and doing that, feeling that, but then denying him knowledge of the true issue was rude and cruel. Besides, they had never quite hidden their immortality from most people. They didn't announce it, either, not to just anyone but... Rune deserved to know, didn't he? Of all people, Rune deserved to know. "Maggie and I... we ain't like normal people, Rune. We're immortal." It sounded so basic when he said it out loud. It sounded like words from a story or a movie that he and Maggie might have sneaked out of their houses to go see in the big town and giggle over. "But Essie... she wasn't." He felt his throat tighten some as he remembered the crying baby, the splash of blood, the minor stitches and the frantic realization of the fact that their life had now changed and not for the better. "One day, she was gonna be eighteen just like us. One day, she was gonna be twenty or thirty and we were still gonna be eighteen and... she didn't deserve that." She didn't deserve knowing her parents were immortal and never going to die but that she would... and could they watch her do just that? It was a question they'd shied away from with friends and family but you couldn't shy away from when it was your own child.

Tuck was determined to be strong, to be a rock for Maggie, but his resolution flew out of the window when Rune reached out very cautiously to wrap his arms around him. The hold was gentle but secure, warm and inviting, and he felt his willpower crumble. Tuck felt the tears prick his eyes and he brought his own arms up to wrap around the other young man. Tuck usually didn't have a problem crying in front of people, but he had never cried like this. It felt like shards of himself were broken apart, like his heart was breaking all over again, and all he could do was hold onto Rune like some kind of rock in the middle of a storm. Rune didn't pull away from him at all. Instead, the other man just tightened his arms, squeezing Tuck gently in a comforting gesture. And then Rune, of course, offered the most kind and beautiful gesture, saying they were always welcome when Tuck knew he had no reason to offer that to them after what they had pulled on him. "I think I'd like that," he said, around a sniff. "You're... good for us." He meant it, too. Rune did something for him and Maggie. He filled their souls with something warm and fulfilling. He brought color to them. He was the most important person in their lives aside from each other. Not that their other friends didn't matter - because they did, so much - but Rune was something else entirely. "I'm sorry we sprung this all on you," he said, softly.
Edited by Tuck Starling, Feb 12 2018, 05:49 PM.
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