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Of my heart to see The beauty of love as it was made to be
Topic Started: May 8 2018, 08:50 PM (17 Views)
Darcy Wells

Darcy had never really meant for his life to go like this, he couldn't deny it. His life had been the sort of thing that was very simple. He had a good mom (fantastic, really) and a pretty typical childhood. Things had been tight at times, but then they had smoothed out. Things had been rough and then they settled. Typical stuff. He had done all right in school – never super stellar, but he remembered his mom had celebrated his As and Bs with him. She had never been a stickler about grades; she had always told him that she preferred he actually had knowledge he could use rather than what he could parrot back to them. It was the same thing with the SATs, she'd been proud of what he had accomplished, even if it hadn't been something that broke him into some amazing stellar school that would have promised him a job anywhere. Then again, that was probably for the best because he hadn't even known what he wanted to do with his life in these moments. Essentially he had a common place life. He knew the plan for him was to finish up school, figure out what he wanted to do with his life, find a nice girl or guy, and settle in for the long haul. He figured that maybe he would have a kid or two, maybe he'd have a house, who knew with how things were? He had only just gotten the girlfriend, though. Emerald had been...well, she had been everything he didn't know he wanted. He had never told anyone that, though, because Emerald was what his mother would call "fragile". She had been part of a harsh relationship where her boyfriend had belittled her and manipulated her and she hadn't known which way was up. She had needed Darcy in a way no one had ever needed him....and it felt awful to say that she was everything he wanted. He knew people would think poorly of him; they'd think he'd like some girl that was easy to sway, who would always do what he wanted. But it wasn't that. He had loved the way she laughed when she had it startled out of her, he loved the way she had such a gentle touch, he just...loved her. He was still learning about her and he was happy and in love.

So he felt it was kinda reasonable given...everything else. He loved Emerald, loved her more than anything in the world. Except...except. Darcy was never going to be a stellar student, good enough but nothing stand out. But where he had really struggled was science. In his placement classes for college, he had gotten the highest in reading, okay in writing, a little less in math, but science? Lord. He had scored so low on that that they had put him in the class that you didn't even have to pay for because you were just that bad at it. Even then he had struggled with what he was given. For some reason, it just hadn't made sense. So he had talked with the teacher, who in turn had talked with someone and that was how Darcy had met Tallon. Tallon was younger than him but not so young that it had been awkward. And he had been cute. He had been cute in that nerdy sort of way that everyone tried to emulate, that everyone wanted to be because it was the "hot" nerd thing. It was the sweaters and the absent mindedness, the bag that slung over a shoulder and an interest in books more than anything else. Tallon had been...sweet. That was the thing. A little awkward but he had been sweet and invested and he had actually taken the time to explain things to Darcy in a way that no one really had. Oh, Darcy wouldn't blame the teachers for it – they had done the best they could given the circumstances, but the fact of the matter was that they had other responsibilities. Gone was the time of fussing over each student individually and it was time to sink or swim. Well, Tallon had helped him swim. It had only been with Tallon's help that he had passed the class and he had begged him to stay on because the next semester of science didn't seem any better than the last. Tallon had been gracious, of course. Anyone else, Darcy might have thought that Tallon just was looking for a paycheck, but the man had smiled so genuinely at him. He had been so bright and eager and it had made Darcy feel special.

And they kept meeting in a coffee shop that had some of the best coffee Darcy had ever had...and some of the cutest baristas. There had been two especially. One had been a tiny little thing, a bit on the chubby side of things with blond hair and a bright grin, who's name badge said he was Tanner. He was chipper and had quickly seemed to remember Darcy and Tallon. Then there had been the moodier one. The name tag for him had said that he was named Clay and he apparently had an identical twin brother on the staff. It was one of those things that he had thought that it would be hard to tell them apart and it was at a glance. If you were just coming in and looking, you'd wonder who was who, but then one of them talk. Clay was more sarcastic, more indifferent than his brother and Darcy found it oddly charming. He didn't know why, but he had. All these men were cute and Darcy had cursed the fact he was dating. Well, sort of cursed. It was the feeling of if Emerald wasn't a thing, he would have poked his nose into things. But the fact of the matter was he did have Emerald and like hell he would cheat on her. Never in a million years would he cheat on someone he cared about so much. But he couldn't help daydreaming, sometimes. He couldn't help wondering what life would be like. It had gotten bad enough that one day, he had accidentally blurted out that he had a crush on someone – a lot of someones. And Emerald had looked panicked and worried and Darcy had spent hours comforting her that he loved her more than anything...but it had opened the door for discussion. Emerald had met Darcy's mom multiple times and through Emerald, Darcy had found out that his mom had been in these "open relationships" through out her life. Not all the time, but sometimes and the concept had blown his mind. Especially the fact that his mom had lived like that. But it had opened the door for discussion between him and Emerald. Nothing had really been resolved – Emerald hadn't been sure and Darcy had insisted that they would meet first and see if she liked them and who knew if the guys would even like that.

Especially when Tallon had gone out of his way to set Tanner and Clay up. He felt he and Tallon were past the point of student and tutor, at least in friendly acquaintance category. At least to the point that when they had had a study session, Darcy had noticed how off and sad Tallon had seemed. It was only natural for Darcy to drag him out of the coffee shop that seemed to be making him mope and drag him to some small, Italian cafe that boasted of having an actual Italian cook or something. "So let me get this straight," he said over the sandwich he hadn't touched. "Your solution to having a crush on someone is to set him up with someone else? Did I get that right? Not only one person you had a crush on, but two." It blew Darcy's mind, all things considered. Who would do that? Who in their right mind would go 'I like both these people, I'm going to set them up'? He was sure there was some logic from Tallon, but he was also sure that it was incredibly stupid logic. Something along the lines of 'oh, he could never love me, so I want him happy'.
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Tallon Law

Tallon had always known he was a pushover but he had no idea how he had let it get so far, really. At first it had seemed normal. His parents wanted him to do something, so he did it. That was what you did with parents, right? They wanted him to get good grades, so he did. They wanted him to join this club, so he did. They wanted him to be a good kid, so he was. He never noticed the way that they would poke and prod at him to get him to do this or that, to shape up to be this idealistic son that they had built up in their minds. He had suffered plenty of times over the years and never really realized it. He would want to go out with his friend, but he couldn't do that because it was too - something; too late, too dangerous, too not what they wanted. He was amazed that they had ever even approved of his having friends, honestly, with the way that they nitpicked and barreled over his wishes. He hadn't realized it at the time, but it had followed him now that he was an adult, now that he was in college and working at getting his degree. Because somebody would ask him to do something and he would let himself be steamrolled right over and do it. Someone would get irritated if he argued, and Tallon would just roll right over and let them have the win. It was something he was only now beginning to realize but he honestly had no idea how to fix it. No amount of Tanner sighing at him and saying "you're such a pushover" with a fond, exasperated sigh made it any better, either. Of course, that was probably because Tanner was a part of his bag of problems. They had been friends for years and years, through thick and thin. Tanner and Tallon had both faced the world together and commiserated about their families and the situations that they found themselves in. Tallon was pretty sure he would never have so firm of a friend as Tanner but... the problem was that he didn't want to be just friends with Tanner. He wanted to be so much more and Tanner only seemed to see him as a friend.

Tallon could have made a move, brought it up, rocked the boat but he didn't. He never had and it was all his own fault, his own cowardly and appeasing nature that had resulted in this. At first, college had seemed like such a boon because he could do whatever he wanted for the most part. He had thought maybe he would grow more, make more friends, find a boyfriend or a girlfriend and branch out his interests. Instead he had just mostly become lonely and wishing he could see Tanner more. Because Tanner hadn't come to college and was working all the time and it only got worse when he moved in with a roommate. Then it wasn't just Tanner working, it was that Tanner had to work... and the fact that Tanner couldn't shut up about his roommate and coworker. Every time they got together, the other young man was sighing and whining about the fact that his coworker wanted nothing to do with him. It didn't help when Tanner would drag him to the coffee shop or his apartment and introduce him to the man. Clay was nice. He was handsome and had a very handsome, brooding sort of face that looked like he was in deep thought. It hurt, though, to see the way that Tanner always looked at him, eager for his attention and his approval. It hurt almost as bad to see the way that Clay didn't seem to notice it at all. Most of the time, when they were together, Clay would talk to him rather than Tanner. Tallon could appreciate his looks and his personality; he was nice and he could get why Tanner liked him. He just wished that, honestly, he had met neither of them at this point because the two of them drove him crazy.

That probably wouldn't have been too bad, though. He could have ignored it or dealt with it, but then Darcy. He was legitimately everything that he wanted in a man, enough to make him forget about Tanner and the years long crush he'd had on him. Not too short, not too tall, a bit widely built with a jaw that had him drooling. He had a quiet confidence about him that did about the same to him and he had been surprisingly nice to tutor. Apologetic, but not cringing about the trouble that he was having. He listened to Tallon and asked questions, he made slow but steady progress and when he came back with a sign that he had done better in his class he would get this wide, beaming grin on his face that was infectious. Was it any wonder that Tallon had let himself fall in love with him? He had thought that maybe the same was true. Darcy was smiling at him a lot, always very close to him, not quite overly touchy but still a very tactile individual. He was always gracious and gave Tallon praise for his efforts and they had moved on from just tutor and student to something a little more. They'd talk about things outside of the school work and Tallon could feel himself hope every time that they got together that this would be the time it was different. All of that had come crumbling down, though, when Darcy had met him one day with a young woman in tow. She was was small - petite, really - with somewhat frightened eyes but when Darcy had introduced her as his girlfriend and Tallon as his tutor she had beamed and smiled so brightly at him, had been so eager to meet him, that it had been hard to be mad at her even when he felt like his heart was going to break. It had been stupid to assume, of course, and this was his punishment. So he had just buckled down into his studies, into helping Darcy with his own, and he had tried to just live life and ignore everything else.

That was of course when he was deluged under another spout of Tanner moaning about Clay. He had come over at some point because he wanted to spend time with his friend, maybe even mope some together, but when he had gotten there Tanner hadn't been there. He'd been at work and it had just been him and Clay. They had hung out for a bit, although a part of Tallon always felt strange because it felt more like Clay was someone that should be talking to Tanner and not him. Somewhere along the way, he didn't know what had come over him, but he had just blurted out asking what Clay thought of Tanner, talking his friend up, and telling the other man that he should try dating him. His mouth had been dry the whole time, his mind screaming that he didn't want that, but he had done it and Clay had looked a little hurt, a little confused, and then a little considering. Tallon had fled, honestly, but it hadn't been long before he'd gotten a long string of texts about the fact that he was a genius and that Clay and Tanner had their first date coming up. He had felt hollow and empty again and had responded mostly on autopilot, feeling some sort of weak smile plastered onto his face. Of course Darcy would have a girlfriend. Of course Tanner and Clay would get together. Of course Tallon was the one reading too much into things and stupidly setting people up rather than talking his own feelings out. He tried to just push on by it, but it was impossible to do so - especially when he was in the middle of his study session with Darcy (thinking about how adorable Darcy and his girlfriend had been together) and there was Tanner, doing something stupidly cute just to draw Clay's attention and Clay smiling at him. It was like three knives into his back at once. His mood must have communicated itself to Darcy, though, because he had been looking at him the whole time before announcing they were going somewhere else. Then they were just on the move, Tallon feeling like he was struggling to keep up until they were seated in another restaurant and Darcy had wheedled everything out of him. Almost everything, anyways.

He poked at his own food, not really eating it, not looking at Darcy as he spoke. He felt a thick lump in his throat as he tried to find something to say that might sound good but there was nothing. He could only sigh after he gave up. "Tanner's been head over heels for him forever," he said, avoiding the general list of questions in favor of just cutting to the chase. "They're really happy." And they were. It hurt him but, at the same time, they were really doing well together and obviously happy. It was the same with Darcy and his girlfriend. They were obviously happy and it hurt Tallon but how could he be mad if people were happy together? Besides, he had done this to himself. Maybe not all of it, but some of it. In a perfect world, maybe Darcy would have been single and then it wouldn't have mattered so much that Tanner and Clay were together but he wasn't and that was that. They were all happily paired off and Tallon was... just going to have to cope.
Edited by Tallon Law, May 21 2018, 12:25 AM.
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