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Scassari Tune Up Match; Rose Jenkins vs. Son of Panda & Redneck Jesus
Topic Started: Apr 10 2017, 08:00 PM (11 Views)
RickyRhodes
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Scassari Tune Up Match
By Order of Cammie Pazzini
No Disqualification Handicap Match
Rose Jenkins vs. Son of Panda & Redneck Jesus
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Tirri

Let’s get this out of the way already… (on-cam)

We open up to a view that has grown extremely familiar over the months and years. Rose Jenkins seated on the lockerroom at Mount Bluff. She’s lacing up her boots and checking her gear in general. Finally she looks up with a thoughtful look on her face and speaks up.

“We are all here for a reason. Everyone in this business has a purpose, a goal. A reason to go out there night in and night out to bust their bodies.”

Tightening the last lace, she stands up and cracks her neck a bit.

“My reason? Win. I’ve fought all my life to get where I wanted to be. Strike me down and I’ll just get up. Be it the streets of Brooklyn or the wrestling business, I’ve never been given anything for free. And now I keep hearing how I was handed a match for the Rock & Roll title. I have NEVER been handed a goddamn thing.”

For a passing moment you can hear a hint of anger in her voice, but she manages to squash it before it gets too noticeable.

“But the fact is… In this business of ours, there is always two sides to each match. Each contest has a good guy and a bad guy in the mind of the fans. That’s just how the business works. And it doesn’t take a genius to figure out who is the good guy at Ace of Spades.”
,
She sits down and stretches before staring at the camera and looking serious.

“Vivi, the fact is that you are one of if not the THE most popular star in the roster. The fans love you, the boys and the girls in the back either love you or respect you. You are the face of the company, even though Matt Stone might try to claim otherwise. You’ve fought incredible odds to get where you are, persevered on the face of adversity when nobody expected you to succeed. You are the ultimate underdog story, and people LOVE underdogs.”

Again a hint of anger in her voice, but once again she manages to squash it and replace it with a sort of arrogant derision.

“So you are the good guy. What that leaves me at? The Bad Guy. I am the big bad villain who gets handed a titleshot by a corrupt management. I am the one who has all the odds stacked in my favor. The people WILL be cheering you and booing me. And know what Vivi? I’m fine with that. I’ve tried to be a hero. I tried to be the one cheered for. And frankly? I’ll just stick to being myself now. I know I earned my shot at you. I know I am not the bad guy. But if that is what is expected of me, that is what I am going to deliver.”

A small pause follows as she lets her words to sink in.

“But that is Ace of Spades, but before that I need to get through Adrenaline and quite frankly… I’m not sure what Cammie had in mind. Sure, a handicap match looks bad on paper but let’s be honest for a second. Redneck Jesus and Son of Panda are nothing more than a pair of jokes. No DQ might bring an interesting spin to things but in the end the result is basically a given already.”

Her bodylanguage just SCREAMS non-chalance and lack of worry. And to be fair, who can blam her?

“Arrogance? No. Just confidence. I’m the Brooklyn Behemoth. That’s not a brag. That’s a fact. I’m not your run at the mill big black bitch who goes all sassy on you. I’m Rose Jenkins. And I break faces. Adrenaline is just a momentary distraction before the main course.”

Standing up, she walks to the camera and lifts it up to her face, shrugging.

“This is the point where I usually go for my catchphrase… but honestly? Spade Squad never had any time in the first place. So I guess I’ll see you at Adrenaline.”

We fade to black.
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RickyRhodes
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Backstage at Mount Bluff, the two unlikely allies and cohorts that were Son Of Panda and Redneck Jesus were having a discussion.

Jesus: “Look, I know you are scared, who wouldn’t be? It’s Rose Freakin’ Jenkins that’s a whole lotta woman for any man..even Son Of God..so obviously Son Of Panda..well yeah..hey that’s kinda gnarly isn’t it? Sons of Panda and God..nope, that’s blasphemous to dad...look dude, brother, bro..my black & white homie. I got a plan for this. Rose Jenkins thinks she’s all big and bad and scary and we’ll scare here right back, come on give us your best growl!”

Son of Panda flicks his head to look at RJ, before facing the camera and letting out what could be construed as a growl, or more likely a dog with a rumbly tummy.

Son Of God seems bothered, shaking his head.

Jesus: No man, that won’t work..come on put up your paws like you are going to maul her or something radically rawr or something?

The world’s toughest S.O.P. nods, before growling again, this time reaching annoyed kitten levels of fearsome, as he waves his paws in the air, clawing and even stamps his feet a little for good measure, when suddenly a door slams in the background and the Panda squeaks, and dives to hide behind Redneck Jesus.

Jesus has patience, more than us mortals (he died for our sins son!) but even he seems to lose his calm with the black and white plight that is his partner.

Grabbing him by the shoulders he turns the Panda around, pressing a forehead against his furry one and speaks very calmly.

Jesus: “Man..if we go against Rose Jenkins like that..even with the two of us and none of the twelve apostles.. We are done for..in the biblical sense. I came back to this world mere six days ago and that resurrection stuff may be divine and all but it’s not like some video game, you can’t spam the spawns man..you just don’t do it, not cool at all..”

We hear a muffled grumble from the Panda which seems incoherent to rest of us but Jesus shakes his head furiously.

Jesus: “Dude! I can’t ask Dad to obliviate Rose Jenkins for us! We got to man up our own damn selves, this is already a 2 on 1 match as it is, I’m pretty sure bringing in GOD would make it at the very least a 3 on 1 handicap match and if we mess with Miss Pazzini’s booking.. Rose Jenkins won’t be the only fat bitch angry at us!”

S.O.P points at the camera and Jesus throws a fit.

Jesus: I know that thing is on! I’m Jesus! Look what I’m telling is we need to stick to a plan going into this match and we got this one. We are part of Spade Squad, the greatest assembly of wrestling talent this side of Jerusalem!

Again we hear a muffled comment from the Black and White Plight.

Jesus: ...and Nico, but he doesn’t count he got his spot since he has ties to the management, kinda like Rose Jenkins got her position as..

The panda shakes his head furiously, finally slapping a paw on Jesus’s mouth to shut him up!

Jesus fidgets shoving the Panda away who starts to muffled lecture him.

Jesus: Don’t tell me she’ll be even more mad at us if I finish that sentence..She’s Rose pickle-picking Jenkins, when is she NOT mad? Look we need a plan we need a good plan and hiding out in the locker room until everyone leaves won’t do it..

S.O.P ponders, putting up a paw and explains his suggestion.

Jesus: Nah son, I won’t perform a miracle, that would be cheating besides doing miracles isn’t some sort of hocus pocus hoity toity fancypants thing you can do anytime you want, dad says there is a time and place for anything and you can only do it for the good of the people..CHEATING in matches is not that..that is some city slicker way of thinking a honest Dad fearing countryboy from Bethlehem, North Carolina don’t do that shit son.

After a moment of sitting down Jesus looks back at his furred pal.

Jesus: So..you got a better idea?

The Panda nods, and runs off for a moment. Redneck Jesus looks a little confused, before the Panda comes back carrying two sticks of bamboo. He hands one to Jesus, before making a swiping motion with the other one, mumbling some incoherent nonsese behind his mask.

Jesus looks at the camera then at this Bamboo ninja beside him.

Jesus: ..should have just stayed in that cave after all..at least Rose wouldn’t get through that boulder.
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