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Jareth Morningstar vs Redneck Jesus
Topic Started: Jun 21 2016, 07:46 AM (24 Views)
RickyRhodes
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Jareth Morningstar vs Redneck Jesus
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deannwo

A While Limo pulls up out side of the BCW offices as the door flings open as a pair a snake skin cowboy boots hit the curb followed by a pair of red leather chaps over blue some wash jeans. Out Steps Jareth Morningstar clad is a large fur coat premium aviator sunglasses a black bandana with silver inverted crucifixes adorning it. He pulls down his glasses peering over them at the building shaking his head

Jareth: Feck me don't look like this places as a pot t' piss in you know well I might as well try to make gold out of dog shite I've worked with worse not much but I have worked with worse.

Jareth turns to face the Camera.

Jareth: So welcome to the BCW the premier standard in well I ant really fecking sure but how gives a flying feck your saviour from mediocrity is here first things first they have me fighting a Redneck Jesus does that mean he can turn water in to Jack Daniels cause that there would be a hell of a trick boyo or turn ya ma in to your sister hang on maybe that already happened?

Jareth smirks as he heads towards the door pushing the door open

Jareth: You see Sonny I am the true personification of darkness I will destroy your your righteous conviction ....and if you believe that bull shit your a dumber fuck than that the bleeding England football team. Team me what I am boyo if freaking magic pure lightning in a bottle athletic prowess and a stage presence that could fill fucking Wembley never mind this back water promotion. When you face me you will know that there is nothing more deadly and entertaining than a sinner that will take you to Paradise Lost.

Jareth snorts dismissively as he comes up to the desk at the front of the building

Jareth: You see Reddy I've travelled the world with Mary Jane in a land of ecstasy most of my career causing the idjats that watch me to suffer a white line fever every time I enter the ring blowing there tiny little minds. What have you done Reddy apart from walk on swamp water have a drunk brawl with ya wife then heal her hangover what have you done?


Jareth kneels in front of the desk as if its an alter and raises his hands if to pray

Jareth: Dear lord Reddy I am one thing I am the Ultimate Sinner I am proud, I get well pissed off when people are silent, I am gonna steal my first victory from you, I covert every bit of gold an ass in this place only fecking sin I don't do is sloth , so if you have an issue with sinners boyo. We are starting a new world tonight Reddy we are the new generation the fist time to blow these peons mind but if your ready to fall silent to stay in the shadows wanting to preach your next sermon while playing your banjo and making some random family member so bring you top game or I will break you you and send ya back to your daddy.

Jareth stands up and smirks at the camera as we fade to black



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SpadeSquad

(On Camera)
“Genesis”


We open to a rather serene looking place, the blue sky with a couple of white puffy clouds, sun is shining. Then of course there is the man dressed in white, long dark hair, thick beard and a pair of sandals.

Jesus: Howdy Ya’ll it’s ya pal Jesus here! Praise be to daddy and all that hope ya’ll are all havin’ a darn good and blessed day today. I’mma here to talk about someone ya’ll may have already done heard of, his name is Jareth Morningstar and gosh darn it ain’t he a bit of a kick in the teeth ‘cause that boy didn’t have nothin’ sweet and polite to say!

Shaking his head in wonder Jesus looks down up from high at as and then turns back to the camera.

Jesus: Now ya’ll all know that them people who treat women with disrespect cuss like a motherfucker and act all high and mighty won’t be going to heaven, right? Something tells me Jareth ain’t cueing up for that line no how! But as the son of my daddy I must right a few of his wrongs You see just because I preach the gospel of my daddy doesn’t mean I don’t like them women folk at all. Hell, ain’t no truth to the fact that just ‘cause I got twelve of my homies with me either won’t make it a complete sausage fest neither! I mean you know them all, there’s Pete, James, Johnny, Andy, Phil, Tom, Bart, Matt, Jimmy, Simon, T-J and of course ol’ Ju-Ju now just because Ju-Ju used to let the shine’ get up in his head and planted a kiss on me once or twice don’t make me nothin’ Ya’ll know me I had one of them big butt Latinas, her name is Maria..Magda or was it Lena..heck might have been all three of them once or twice. Jesus packs plenty of lovin’ when hittin the hay and takes the ladies worries away.

Son of God flashes a wide smirk at the camera and winks.

Jesus: But I done got confucius there from the moment what I mean is that me and Jareth we done got issues right from the get start it seems, ‘cause he done blasphemous of me and my daddy and we can’t have that, no sir! So I may have to wallop his ass from here to eternity before he done realizes his sinful ways. Love of God is only drug ya’ll need Jareth but if you insist on trying to ridicule the righteous folk with your wacky-tobaccy smokin’ colorful pill popppin’ fur coat wearin ass, your as may just end up bein’ grass!

I’mma see you at Nitro and we’ll see how much jokes will ya crack with a broken jaw! I’mma gonna wallop the fear of God into ya boy and send your rock and or roll lovin’ rear end to Church..they say Old School is cool but they ain’t got nothin’ on Sunday School!

Our Messiah calms down from his anger, seems and seems to move back to the pleasant ways.

Jesus: That’s all from your original homeboy, son of the Original G O D, JC born to the mean streets and dirt roads of Bethlehem, North Carolina! Peace out in the name of my daddy, me and that there holy spirit, Amen!

As we fade away Jesus jumps down and everyone sees he was just standing on a bales of hay the whole time.



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