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A Quest For Epic Heelness; Johnny Karisma/Big Evil 29/12/2006
Topic Started: Feb 3 2008, 06:11 PM (461 Views)
Harmony
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
[ *  *  * ]
Fade in.

We're at Code: Magenta in the Feature Attraction's locker room. Johnny Karisma bursts through the door, just in enough time to catch Big E sipping upon an unknown beverage, Abso polishing his boots and Angel sitting in the corner not really saying anything.


Karisma: Dudes! We got a problem!

Evil spits his beverage out in a classic spit take all over theit big screen TV.

Evil: Oh my Gawd! What is it?!

Karisma: Dude... people love us.

Big E and Abso stare at each otehr fr a second. The confusion is apparent as they finally turn back to Johnny with the same question on their mind.

Evil/Absolute: ....So?

Karisma: So?! We're fucking heel! How can we be heel if people are loving us and buying our merchandise and shit?

Evil: Good point. This problem must be solved!

Absolute: I'm on it...

Evil: No, something tell me it won't be that easy.

Karisma: Indeed. A stable of our calibre needas an act of epic heelness to truly get the point across.

A moment of pondering.

Karisma: I got it!

Absolute: What do you got?

Karisma: It!

Evil: Yes~!

Karisma: Quickly! To the Feature Attraction Tactical Assault Stealth Ship!

Absolute: The F.A.T.A.S.S.?

Karisma/Evil: Heh.

All four men quickly sprint the entire distance to their vehicle...which just happens to be a whopping seven feet. The ship also happens to be a Volkwagen Van.

Absolute: Sweet...

Karisma: Fucking right it is!

Evil: Shotgun!

Angel: :(

Angel and Abso get into the back seat as Big Evil and Karisma take their place up front. Karisma cranks up the car and almost instantly a cloud of pitch black smoke starts to pour from the back.

Karisma: Lets do this...

Karisma yanks the gear shift down into drive and goes to hit the gas...

Evil: Dude!

Karisma: What?

Evil: Seat belt.

Karisma: :blush: k.

Almost in unison all four men strap on their safety belts.

Abso: Lets roll.

The van pulls off into the distance. the camera follows it until they turn a corner in the distance.

Scene fades to black.















And we fade back in. To us it seems like only second but to the Feature Attraction its been approx. 45 minutes or so. The van comes to a screeching stop just in front of the double door to the "Leroy Jenkin's Bingo Hall". Karisma smirks as he stares at the illuminated entrance way.

Karisma: We're here...

Absolute: About fucking time!

Karisma: Shut the fuck up!

Absolute: :angry:

Evil: Calm it niggas. This is not a time for fighting...it is a time for destiny!

Abso/Karisma: ......

Evil: Yeah, that was fucking lame.

Abso/Karisma: ..........

Evil: Just get outta the fucking van!

The group exits their vehicle and makes their way into the open area beyond the doorway. The scene is your stereotypical bingo hall. A fuck load of senior citizens trying to live the "night life" that can only be captured in that amazing moment where you release a triumphant...

Old Woman: BINGO~!

The old lady practically flung herself out of her seat. The look of utter disappointment shows on the face of the other elderly fucks...the losers. Johnny motions for his three companions to follow him. The four take a seat at the end of a nearby table. An elderly woman sits directly across from them, her name tage reading "Mildred".

Karisma: Excuse me miss....

No response.

Karisma: Excuse me miss!

Still nothing.

Evil: HEY BITCH!

An upward glance followed by a innocent smile.

Mildred: Oh....hello....

Evil: Good evening...

Evil takes Mildred by the hand and gives it a gentle kiss. A bit of pink shines through the old, saggy flesh on Mildred's face.

Karisma: Ma'am, can I ask you a question?

Mildred: Why of course.

Karisma: Do you wear dentures?

Mildred: No...why?

TEH BOOT~!

With the speed of a puma Abso managed to leap up and deliver a sickening big boot to the mouth/jaw of Mildred. She lays unconcious on the ground as blood starts to flow from her open mouth...accompanied by several teeth.


Karisma: Well you do now bitch...

Abso, Evil and Karisma just smile down upon the downed woman...Angel just kind of sits there.

Evil: So...are we heel yet?

Karisma: Um... I think so...

Absolute: Do you think one old bitch will be enough?

Evil: Good point.

Karisma looks around the room. A room filled with defenseless, elderly victims just prime for the picking.

Karisma: Lets have some fun.

Scene fades to black.
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Harmony
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
[ *  *  * ]
Moments later, seemingly for no reason, the screen un-fades and comes back to the live shot of Big Evil, Karisma, Angel and Abso Tomko in the Bingo Hall standing over Mildred. Suddenly, almost every one in the hall stand up and clap.

Big Evil: What the fuck? Why are they clapping?

A random guy stands up.

Guy: That fucking whore was cheating to win! She got all the money!

Karisma: Damnit to hell!

Big Evil: Well, what do we do now?

Karisma: We're the Feature Attraction, we'll get by!

Big Evil: Featured Attraction.

Karisma: Featured. FEATURED!

Big Evil: Oh.

Abso: Oh.

Karisma: Shut the fuck up.

Abso: :blush:

Big Evil: Alright, let's get back to business, what the hell do we do to get ourselves hated to the extreme?

Karisma: Any ideas, Angel?

Angell: ...

Big Evil: Fuck you. You're fired.

Angel shrugs his shoulders and leaves.

Karisma: Wait, I got it...Abso, do it!

Abso runs up behind Angel and nails him with...

TEH BOOT~!


Big Evil: Was that supposed to make us more heel?

Karisma: No, but it was fucking sweet.

Big Evil: True, True. So seriously, let's get to the grindstone man, I know we said we gotta be laid back, but we really need to do something to get ourselves over as heels!

Karisma: Alright, let's think.

Suddenly, as Karisma and Big E strike their thinking pose, much like the infamous statue "The Thinking Man", the theme song from JEOPARDY! plays out of nowhere. This confuses Abso, who looks around the room trying to see where the music's coming from. It drives him crazy, so while Big E and Karisma continue thinking, Abso begins to big boot everything and everyone in sight.

Big Evil: I GOT IT!

Karisma: Que?

Big Evil: If we stole The Beautiful Ones' Tag Team Championships!

Karisma: Nig, that'd make no sense.

Big Evil: Why not?

Karisma: A.) Nobody cares about TBO...2.) That won't do anything...D.) We're not that lucky, so we'd probably get caught and fined or some shit.

Big Evil: Then what if we did this? Tomko, if you'd please.

Abso Tomko comes out of nowhere, after destroying the entire Bingo Hall, and hands Big E and Karisma the old WCW World Tag Team Championship belts.

Karisma: These are wicked sweet!

Big Evil: What are you from fuckin' Boston?

Karisma: :angry:

Big Evil: But yeah, homie, as of right now, we're the World Championship Wrestling World Tag Team Champions, nigguh!

Karisma: NOICE~!

The two engage in their little slight-homoerotic hand shake as Abso looks on in approval. The scene fades.

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Harmony
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
[ *  *  * ]
Fade in.

Camera Guy: Make up your fucking mind!

Evil/Karisma: Soz.

Anyways, we come in on the Featured Attraction sitting in a booth at a nearby McDonald's restraunt. Angel sits at a table across the aisle with an ice pack on his jaw.

Karisma: Just fucking sayin it!

Abso/Evil: No...

Karisma: Please! I mean, look at the guy. He hasn't said a word to anyone since the incident!

Evil: It was funny thogh.

Karisma: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease....

Evil: Fine!

Evil angrily takes a bite from his burger and swallows it down with a sip of his beverage before turning to the sulking Angel.

Evil: Alright, look. Abso and I just got caught up in the heat of the moment and one thing lead to another. we never meant to hurt you...

Absolute: Fuck that...

Karisma: Dude, shut the fuck up!

Absolute: Oh, sorry...

Evil: Anyways, what i'm trying to say is we're sorry and we hope we can just look past this unfortunate incident. OK?

Angel: Al...

Karisma: HOLY HANGING HUSSEINS!!

Abso/Evil: WHAT?!

Karisma: ....Got a drop of soda on my new tag belt.

Evil: Abso, napkin the man, stat!

Abso plunges his fist into the metal napkin dispenser completely destroying it. His hand emerges with a huge wad of napkins which he thrusts upon Karisma.

Karisma: Thanks...

Absolute: No problem.

Johnny takes a napkin and wipes off the offending drop. He stares at his reflection in the gol and a grin comes over his face.

Evil: Heh...

Karisma: What?

Evil: Come over is face...

Karisma: What?

Evil: ....Nothing.

Long awkward silence.

Evil: So I got this itch right...

Karisma: ABSO!

A boots bursts from under the table causing it to splinter completely. The boot stops just inches from Evil's chin. On the sole of the boot we see a tube of Preperation H.

Absolute: Problem solved.

Karisma/Evil: NOICE~!

Absolute: Fucking right it is.

Suddenly a young man (no older than 24) comes into the picture.

Manager: Excuse me sirs.

Evil: What the fuck do you want?

Manager: Just curious as to what happened to our table here...

Evil: A+ did it.

Manager: Who?

Karisma: Fuck...ABSO!!

TEH BOOT~!

Karisma: Lets get the fuck outta here.

Evil: Word, nigga.

The four men make there way out to the parking lot and into the F.A.T.A.S.S. just as the scene starts to fade to black.
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CM Pyro
For Admin.

My gawd, if that hack brought one us one good thing it's this.
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