| Featured Attraction: The Musical!; Big Evil 1/22/07 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 24 2008, 01:54 PM (651 Views) | |
| Harmony | Feb 24 2008, 01:54 PM Post #1 |
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
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![]() [size=7]THE MUSICAL~![/size] Starring: Big Evil, Johnny Karisma, Trish Evil, Abso Tomko, Angel, Adam Edge, Harmony, Dolly Madison, Halo, Nature, Atkie and More! ------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm Tearing Away. Pieces Are Falling, I Can't Seem To Make Them Stay. You Run Away. Faster and Faster, You Can't Seem To Get Away. BREAAAAAK! I Hope There's A Reason For Questions Unanswered I Just Don't See Everything. Yes, I'm Besides You. Tell Me How Does It Feel To Feel Like Shit, Just Like I Do? I Don't Care About Anyone Else But Me. I-I-I Don't Care About Anyone. I Don't Care About Anyone Else But Me. I, Don't Care About Anyone, Or Anything, BUT ME! ------------------------------------------------------------------- Chicago, Illinois 7:43 PM CT January 18th, 2007 The Featured Attraction Are On Their Way To The AllState Arena. We open to a scene of Big Evil driving a rental car recieved for Featured Attraction's time in Chicago for a short tour with the BQWA, their place of employment. In the passenger's side is Johnny Karisma. In the back, Angel and Abso Tomko. It's dark, cloudy, and just got done raining out about 20 minutes prior. They're driving down a road in the center of town, but it's not heavily congested with traffic. Big Evil: *to camera*...Oh, hello there. My name is Big Evil. Johnny Karisma: And he looooooooooooooves to FIGHT~! Big Evil: You wanna shut the fuck up and let me do this please? Johnny Karisma: Ok. Big Evil: My name is Big Evil. And I'd like to welcome you to "Featured Attraction: THE MUSICAL~!, a one-of-a-kind play, production, theater extravaganza. Johnny Karisma: It's going to be the fucking shit. By the way, my name is Johnny Karisma, and actually, I DO LOVE TO FIGHT~! Abso Tomko: Finlay, ftw. Angel: My name is An -- Johnny Karisma: SOMEBODY SHUT HIM UP. Abso takes his large, thick hand and smacks Angel across the back of the skull, immediately shutting him up. Johnny Karisma: So come along for the ride, folks. Big Evil: We're currently on our way to the All-State Arena in Downtown Chicago for a BQWA House Show. Hopefully this show won't suck. Johnny Karisma: Like every BQWA show? Big Evil: Yeah. Abso Tomko: I wonder if that Q.U.A.D. place is hiring? Big Evil: HUSH~! We're not allowed to say that here. Abso Tomko: Where? Johnny Karisma: There. Abso Tomko: K. Big Evil: How about we all just shut the fuck up and listen to the radio? We don't have too much longer 'til we get to the arena. Just sit back, and enjoy the tunes. Big Evil begins tuning through the radio stations until he hears the melodic sounds of "Bohemian Rhapsody" - Queen. Something clicks within all four men as they continue to drive and sing along with the song. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me Big Evil seemingly takes control of the song at this point. Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters Big Evil looks over at Johnny with a funny face as Johnny takes over. Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody - I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all All four men, Big E, Johnny, Abso and Angel, sit up straight and begin to sing in a serious, monotone voice. Big Evil and Johnny take the normal voice parts, Abso and Angel takes the lower and higher voice parts. Big Evil and Johnny: I see a little silhouetto of a man Abso and Angel: Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango All Four: Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me Big E and Johnny: Gallileo, Gallileo, Abso and Angel: Gallileo, Gallileo, All Four: Gallileo Figaro - magnifico Big Evil and Johnny: But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me Abso and Angel: He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Big Evil and Johnny: Easy come easy go - will you let me go Abso and Angel: Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - Big Evil and Johnny: let him go Abso and Angel: Bismillah! We will not let you go - Big Evil and Johnny: let him go Abso and Angel: Bismillah! We will not let you go - Big Evil and Johnny: let me go All Four: Will not let you go - let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go - ooo All Four: No, no, no, no, no, no, no - Big Evil and Johnny: Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go All Four: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me for me for me At the drop of a dime, and the beat actually, all four men begin going crazy in the car. They're jumping up and down, throwing their bodies back and fourth, almost doing a mini mosh pit inside the car itself. Big Evil and Johnny: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby - can't do this to me baby Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here All four men, just as quickly as they started, come to a complete hault and go back to the pace they were before. Abso and Angel: Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Big Evil and Johnny: Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me All Four: Anyway the wind blows... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8:21 PM CST 1/18/07 The Featured Attraction have entered the arena and are in the catering area with the rest of the roster. All four men walk into the catering area, with their travel bags in tow. Normally, they'd head to their locker room first, but after the song they just randomly broke out into, they're rather hungry and would like to satisfy the need of food. After a few seconds, all four men come back to a table with filled plates. Soon after, Trish Evil, Big E's wife, joins them from seemingly nowhere. Big Evil: Hey honey. Trish: Hi babe. Johnny Karisma: Where the hell did you come from? Trish: New Jersey. Johnny Karisma: Why didn't you take the car with us? Trish: Because there wasn't a part for a girl in the opening sequence .Johnny Karisma: A few tables are connected in somewhat of a rectangular fashion, so it's very easy to pick up on other people's conversation's. F.A. happen to listen in on a conversation being held by Charles Everton, Halo and Nature. Charles Everton: I really do hate this town. Nature: Like Ol' Blue Eyes said, it's my kind of town, Chicago is. Only the opposite. Halo: It's just got that shitty atmosphere that NYC and LA don't got, ya know? Charles Everton: Hence why I said it in the first place, you toerag. Johnny Karisma: *interrupting*...Ya know, I actually grew up in Chicago. Halo: Where the hell did you come from? Johnny Karisma: Chicago, I just told you. Halo: No, I mean -- *sigh* -- Forget it. Big Evil: *to Trish*...How many more times are people going to ask "where did you come from" in this thing? Trish: 8, I read the script. Charles Everton: So you got to grow up in this miserable little outhouse of a city? Johnny Karisma: It's not a mieserable outhouse, you buck tooth Austin Powers' wannabe fag! Abso Tomko: Nice. Johnny Karisma: It's one of the toughest places out there, man. Halo: Then how come it didn't work for you? Haha. Johnny Karisma: Oh, it did. I saw more in one night then you've seen in a lifetime, Halo. Halo: Explain. Johnny Karisma: I'm glad you said that... The beat of "The Night Chicago Died" - Paper Lace begins to play as Johnny tears off the jump suit he was wearing to reveal a pinstripe mobster suit. Big Evil, Abso and Angel follow, tear off their clothes, to reveal themselves in pinstripe mobster suits. They all go up on a randomly placed stage where they begin dancing in unison. Eventually, they're joined by a group of back-up dancers. Johnny Karisma: Daddy was a cop On the East Side of Chicago Back in the USA Back in the bad old days In the heat of a summer night In the land of the dollar bill When the town of Chicago died And they talk about it still When a man named John Cena Tried to make that town his own And he called his gang to war Against the forces of the law I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night it really was Brother, what a fight it really was Glory be I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night the people saw Brother, what a fight the people saw Yes, indeed And the sound of the Triple H's music rang Through the streets of the old East Side 'Til the last of the Cena's hoodlum gang Had surrendered up or died There was shouting in the street And the sound of running feet And I asked someone who said 'Bout a fans wish they were dead. I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night it really was Brother, what a fight it really was Glory be I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night the people saw Brother, what a fight the people saw Yes, indeed Then there was no sound at all But the clock up on the wall Then the door burst open wide And Cena stepped inside And put the WWE Title in my momma's face And made her go away. I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night it really was Brother, what a fight it really was Glory be I heard my momma cry I heard her pray the night Chicago died Brother, what a night the people saw Brother, what a fight the people saw Yes, indeed The night Chicago died The night Chicago died Brother, what a night it really was Brother, what a fight it really was Glory be The night Chicago died The night Chicago died Just at the end of the song, all of the dancers, as well as Johnny, Big E, Abso and Angel all stop in matching poses to a standing ovation from the room. Halo: Wait a minute, Wait a minute, Wait a minute... Johnny Karisma: Que? Halo: The night that made you, obviously, emotionally tough was...WrestleMania 22...? Johnny Karisma: Hell yeah, man. That night sucked. Cena won. Halo: So? Johnny Karisma: Me and my mom cried. Halo: I'm sorry, but I don't get it. Is there somebody here that can explain that to me? Because I just don't get it. I just don't. The scene fades. -------------------------------------------------------------------- 9:21 PM CST 1/18/07 Dolly Madison comes into the dining hall to post the evening's card, as well as the card for Meltdown. As Dolly walks in, at first, there is a quick air of silence throughout the room. The entire roster goes quiet. But after a few seconds, all of the superstars jump up out of their seats and go running towards Dolly. Not only to catch a glimpse at tonight's card and Meltdown's card, but to barrade Dolly with questions about thier position in the company. Dolly Madison: People...People...People...PEOPLE~! With that infamous scowl and shout of Dolly, all of the superstars shut-up on the spot. She throws the papers she was carrying up in the air and begins to push her way through the crowd. "Don't Ask Me No Questions" - Lynyrd Skynyrd begins to play and a mysterious band 'poofs' out of nowhere playing the background for Dolly. Dolly Madison: Well everytime that I come here nobody wants to let me be It seems that all of my employees just want to come interrogate me Well, I don't appreciate it and I just want to pass you by Cause I won't tell you about your business, and definetely not about mine. Dolly jumps up onto one of the tables and takes two huge, fat wads of cash out of her pants pockets and displays them off proudly. As she continues walking around the rectangular table set-ups, she lets the money slip from her hand out into the room filled with superstars. Dolly Madison: Well its true I love the money and I love my brand new car I like drinkin' the best of white wine instead of going to white trash bars But when I go on the road, well I just got to have my time 'Cause I got to find a break in this action, else I'm gonna lose my mind So, don't ask me no questions And I won't tell you no lies So, don't ask me about my business And I won't tell you YOU'RE FIRED~! That's right Dolly jumps up and hits an amazing, and surprising, air guitar solo after jumping across from one table to the other table. Eventually, she jumps down and puts her arm around Halo, who looks disgusted. Dolly Madison: Well, "what's your favorite color and do you dig the brothers," is drivin' me up a wall And everytime I think I can rest, some fool has got to call Well don't you think that when I go to work, I just want a little peace of mind If you want to talk about the business buddy, you're just wastin' time So, don't ask me no questions And I won't tell you no lies So, don't ask me about my business And I won't tell you YOU'RE FIRED~! I said don't ask no stupid questions and I won't send you away If you wanna, join the unemployment line, then, by all means~! Dolly drops down to one knee and throws her arms out into the air posing. She's breathing heavy. All that heavy and quick action is the most she's had in years. All the superstars look baffled and confused as to why she would desicrate a Lynyrd Skynyrd classic. A few coughs are head, soon followed by the sound of crickets. Dolly Madison: You'll cheer for Karisma ruining his song, but you'll go stiff for me making a hit into a CLASSIC?! The entire room sort of just "looks the other way", not really wanting to give her a yes or no answer. Dolly Madison: If somebody doesn't cheer, you're all fired! At the drop of a dime, the entire room begins applauding and cheering horrendously for their boss. Her ego points shoot through the roof as she fixes her over coat, turns, posts the two cards and proceeds to walk out of the room. Once she leaves, they stop applauding and go check the cards out. Suddenly, she ducks her head back in. Dolly Madison: Oh by the way... The entire room comes to a stand still again. Dolly Madison: One of you didn't cheer for me...So you're fired...ANGEL~! The entire room turns quickly, shuffling around to stare gawkingly at the Featured Attraction member, Angel. After looking around, Angel takes a deep breath and begins singing his own song. Angel: And Now...The End Is Here...And So I Face...My Final Curtain... Big Evil: ...Tomko With that, Abso Tomko comes out of nowhere and nails his infamous... [size=7]TEH BEWT~![/size] ...on Angel, sending him flying across the screen and out of the way, for the last time. Johnny Karisma: Good boy. Trish tosses Abso a Chocolate Chip Cookie from her purse to Abso. Abso looks insulted at first, but eventually, turns his back and gnawls away happily. The scene fades. -------------------------------------------------------- We fade into a shot of the Featured Attraction locker room. Big Evil leans backwards, thinking, on a desk in his locker room. Why it's there, who knows. In the corner, Abso is standing in the corner playing a video game on his cell phone. And in the back, back part, a Janitor is cleaning up a mess made in the bathroom. Johnny walks in. Johnny: Bigz, you gotta second? Big Evil: Sure, what's up mayng? Johnny: Ya know, I looked at the love you and Trish had for each other earlier and I got so jealous. Big Evil: Why so, you get mad bitches don't cha? Johnny: Yeah, yeah, no doubt. But still, I want what you guys have. Big Evil: What? Sex? Children? Bills? A Home? What? Johnny: No. You dipshit. Love. What's love like? Abso Tomko: Yeah, what's love like man? Janitor: Yeah, what is it like, man? Big Evil: Well, I'd suppose that love is li -- Who the hell are you? Janitor: Me? Oh, I'm the janitor. Big Evil: Very well. I'd suppose that love is like...Well, there's only one way I can honestly explain it... Big Evil: Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight gonna grab some afternoon delight. My motto's always been; when it's right, it's right. Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night. Big Evil and Johnny: When everything's a little clearer in the light of day. And you know the night is always gonna be there any way. Abso and Janitor: Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite looking forward to a little afternoon delight. Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite and the thought of rubbin' you is getting so exciting. Johnny and Big E nod at each other, then nod in approval of Abso and the Janitor’s vocal skills. All: Sky rockets in flight...*Johnny makes a high whistle sound*...Afternoon delight...*Johnny makes a low whistle sound*...Afternoon delight. Big Evil and Johnny: Started out this morning feeling so polite I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling a little afternoon delight. Sky rockets in flight...*Johnny makes a high whistle sound*...Afternoon delight...*Johnny makes a low whistle sound*...Afternoon delight. A perverted looking Whacko pops up in the corner of the screen. Whacko: This song is about daytime love making...the naughty type Abso and Janitor: Please be waiting for me baby when I come around. We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down. The perverted loooking Whacko pops up in the corner once again. Whacko: I’m talking about enjoying a bowl of chicken soup, with a Reuben, and then making dirty Reuben love. All:Sky rockets in flight...*Johnny makes a high whistle sound*...Afternoon delight...*Johnny makes a low whistle sound*...Afternoon delight. Johnny: So, that's what it's like, huh big man? Big Evil: Yeah, it sure is splendid. Suddenly, Dolly Madison sticks her head in through the doorway. Dolly Madison: Gentlemen... Johnny: What the hell, you think you can just blast out a horrible rendition of Lynyrd Skynyrd and you can just go wherever you please? Dolly Madison: Actually...yes. Johnny: Oh... Awkward Silence. Big Evil: What do you want? Dolly Madison: I've changed my mind, neither of you will be needed tonight, or tomorrow night. Consider yourselves suspended for two days from your actions on Meltdown. Good day! Dolly slams the door behind her, awfully pissed off. Big E and Johnny's jaws drop, Abso goes back to playing his video game. The janitor, well, lord knows where he went. Johnny: Fuck man, , we're done. We're history. After this suspension, we'll be jobbing to midcarders, and on the unemployment line in no time.Abso Tomko: Not neccesarrily. Big Evil: Que? Abso Tomko: You guys are too pessimistic. You guys have got to keep the faith. Johnny: I think we're losing the faith, Tomko. Big Evil: No, he's right. We've gotta keep the faith.. All three men jump up and tear off their clothes, again, to reaveal themselves in extremely nice suits and ties. Big Evil: If it seems like I've been lost, then let's remember If you think I'm feeling older and missing my younger days Oh, then you should have known me much better Cause my past is something that never got in my way Oh no Johnny: Still I would not be here now if I never had the hunger And I'm not ashamed to say the wild boys were my friends All three men join together and start doing a slide step dance together. Johnny: Oh, 'Cause I never felt the desire 'til their music set me on fire And then I was saved, yeah That's why I'm keeping the faith Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping the faith Big Evil: We wore matador boots Only LAX had them with the Cuban heel Iridescent socks with the same color shirt And a tight pair of chinos Oh, I put on my shark skin jacket You know the kind with the velvet collar And ditty-bop shades, oh yeah All three men are now wearing a pair of cowboy boots, a Cuban flag around their heads, bright colored socks with matching shirts and a tight pair of jeans. Big Evil, while wearing all of this, also puts on a leather jacket, flips the collar and slides his shades down from his forehead. Big Evil: I took a fresh pack of Luckies and a mint called Sen-Sen My old man's Trojans and his Old Spice after shave Big Evil puts a cigarette in his mouth, only to have it whipped out, and in place, he puts a mint in his mouth. He takes a roll of condoms out of his pocket and lets them unfold down, and then a bunch of lovely lady backup dancers spray him down with some Old Spice. Big Evil: Oh, I combed my hair in a pompadour Like the rest of the Romeos wore a permanent wave, yeah We were keeping the faith Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping the faith All three men take this chance to break out in a dance session, including some slide stepping, spinning, shaking and dramatic puppet like movements. Big Evil and Johnny: You can get just so much from a good thing You can linger too long in your dreams Say goodbye to the Oldies But Goodies Cause the good ole days weren't always good And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems Johnny: Learned stickball as a formal education Lost a lot of fights but it taught me how to lose O.K. Oh, I heard about sex but not enough I found you could dance and still look tough anyway, oh yes I did I found out a man ain't just being macho Ate an awful lot of late night drive-in food Drank a lot of take-home pay I thought I was the Duke of Earl When I made it with a red-haired girl in the Chevrolet Oh yeah, we were keeping the faith Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping the faith You know the good ole days weren't always good And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems Big Evil: Now I told you my reasons for the whole revival Now I'm going outside to have an ice cold beer in the shade Oh, I'm going to listen to my 45's Ain't it wonderful to be alive When the rock 'n' roll plays, yeah When the memory stays, yeah I'm keeping the faith Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping the faith I'm keeping the faith, yes I am You know I'm keeping the faith, oh yes I am You know I'm keeping the faith, oh you are All four men fade out of the scene by dancing off the screen, leaning backwards and snapping their fingers. --------------------------------------- We fade into a scene of a hospital room. Laying in the bed is Adam Edge, who's still beat up and hurt from the attack on Meltdown at the hands of Featured Attraction. At his bed side is his girlfriend, Harmony. Harmony: You ok, honey? Adam Edge: I'm fine. I was fine five minutes ago when you asked. And I'll be fine in another five minutes when you ask again. Harmony: ...Sorry. Adam Edge: Babe, I'm sorry. I'm just pissed off. Harmony: I know, I know. You have every right to be. But don't worry, you'll be out of this bed in no time, kicking their piece of shit asses! Harmony stands up and kisses her man on the cheek. Harmony: I'm gonna get going now, head back to the hotel. Are you going to be at the PPV? Adam Edge: Not sure yet. Harmony: Well, I'm sure I'll see you before then. Bye. Adam Edge: Bye, babe. Harmony exits the room. As she does, Adam flicks the channels on the TV. He stops on ESPN, his favorite. But what he sees pisses him off. It's a SportsCenter retrospect on Featured Attraction. The monitor he's attached to shows his blood pressure and heart rate going through the roof. Adam: Every night I lie awake After every hit I take Every feeling that I get But I haven’t missed you yet Adam gets up out of his hospital bed and begins making his way out of the room in a hurry. Adam: Every roommate kept awake By every sigh and scream I make All the feelings that I get But I still don’t miss you yet Adam walks past the other person laying in his room, who looks annoyed at him for making so much noise. He walks out into the hallway where he grabs a guitar and begins playing with the rock band, who was randomly placed in the center of the hospital. Adam: Only when I stop to think about it I hate everything about you - A shot of Big Evil is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony’s smiling face is seen. I hate everything about you - A shot of Johnny Karisma is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony being thrown off of the stage atop of Adam is seen. Every time I lie awake After every hit I take Every feeling that I get But I haven’t missed you yet Only when I stop to think about it I hate everything about you - A shot of Big Evil is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony’s smiling face is seen. I hate everything about you - A shot of Johnny Karisma is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony being thrown off of the stage atop of Adam is seen. Only when I stop to think About you, I know Only when you stop to think About me, do you know I hate everything about you - A shot of Big Evil is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony’s smiling face is seen. I hate everything about you - A shot of Johnny Karisma is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony being thrown off of the stage atop of Adam is seen. I hate You hate I hate But you all love me I hate everything about you - A shot of F.A. is seen. Why do I love you - A shot of Harmony’s smiling face is seen. Adam then throws the guitar down and runs off into the night, managing to escape a few nurses and orderlies. The scene fades. ----------------------------------------- Trish sits sideways on a love seat in the hotel room with a glass of wine in her hand. She presses play on the stereo system. At the moment of the first beat, Big Evil slides out from behind a wall with his back turned to Trish. He’s wearing nothing but a pair of socks, tightie whitey underwear, a long white dress shirt, and a pair of sunglasses. He turns around quickly and begins dancing seductively for Trish as she laughs. Just take those old records off the shelf I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself Today's music ain't got the same soul I like that old time rock n' roll Don't try to take me to a disco You'll never even get me out on the floor In ten minutes I'll be late for the door I like that old time rock n' roll Still like that old time rock n' roll That kind of music just soothes the soul I reminisce about the days of old With that old time rock n' roll Big Evil stops dancing and jumps onto his wife on the couch and they begin making out. Suddenly, he’s stopped by the sound of his cell phone vibrating at the table right next to the couch. He sits up and reads that it says “KARISMA”. He opens it up and begins talking. Big Evil: Yo man? Meanwhile, Trish begins buttoning up her shirt and gets up from the couch as Big Evil continues talking. Big Evil: This isn’t a good time right now man, I’ll call you back in a little bit. Trish walks up to the door and opens it up, she has her over night bag over her shoulder. Big Evil: Honey...Babe...where ya goin’? Trish: When you can go one night, ONE NIGHT, with your wife without answering that damn phone for one of your buddies or for work, maybe I’ll come back. Trish slams the door behind her as Big Evil throws his phone across the room in frustration. The scene fades. -------------------------------------- We fade to a scene of Johnny Karisma and Abso Tomko walking into a bar together. They look around a bit at some of the sights, not so pretty to tell ya the truth. Abso Tomko: Wait a minute, what the hell, why are we at a bar? You're straight edge. Johnny Karisma: Yeah, but drunk chicks let their emotions pour, and I'll be the one to have their shoulder to lean on. Abso Tomko: Good idea. Johnny continues walking around the bar, but he just does not see anyone attractive. He decides to sing a song about it. Johnny randomly picks up a guitar and begins walking around the bar while playing, discussing the sights he sees when he looks at some of the women. Johnny: Jessie Baltos came from Miami, F.L.A. Worked her way over to the BQWA Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she She says, Hey babe Take a walk on the wild side Hey honey Take a walk on the wild side Johnny walks past a mean-looking Jessie Baltos, putting lipstick on him/herself, and making smoochie faces at Johnny, who keeps walking past, looking disgusted. Johnny: Constance came from Long Beach Island In the backroom she was everybody's darlin' But she never lost her head Even when she was giving head She says, Hey babe Take a walk on the wild side I Said, Hey baby Take a walk on the wild side Johnny opens up a door to the backroom of the bar where we see Constance Kent with her head in Andy Chill’s lap. Constance lifts her head up, wipes her mouth, and makes a smiley face at Johnny. Andy has a look of pleasure on his face. Johnny: And Halo and Nature go doo do doo do doo do do doo... Up on the small stage, Halo and Nature are dressed in drag, meant to look like early-60's black women soul singers. Johnny: Little Fresca never once gave it away Everybody had to pay and pay A hustle here and a hustle there New York City's the place where they say, Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side I said, Hey Babe Take a walk on the wild side Johnny goes to hit on Fresca, but two security gurads come and escort her out of the bar due to her being under 21. Johnny quickly turns away. Johnny: Paige came and hit the streets Lookin' for soul food and a place to eat Went to the Apollo You should've seen em go go go They said, Hey shuga Take a walk on the wild side They said, Hey babe Take a walk on the wild side All right, huh Paige, dressed in mid-70's disco clothes, is dancing and bumping and grinding on the dance floor, looking at Johnny with a big, gap-toothed smile on her face. Johnny eventually says fuck it and hands the guitar to Abso, who begins to follow Johnny around. Abso: Johnny is now just speeding away Thought he was James Dean for a day Then I guess he had to crash Valium would have helped that bash He Said, Hey babe, Take a walk on the wild side I said, Hey honey, Take a walk on the wild side Johnny sits on a bar stool, folds his arms in front of him on the counter, and slams his head down in shame. Abso: And Halo and Nature say... doo do doo do doo do do doo... The scene fades to the other side of the bar... ---------------------------------- Johnny and Abso’s attention quickly turns to the other side, ya know, where we just faded to, to see a drunken Big Evil man the piano and begin singing to the listeners down in the pit. Big Evil: It's nine o'clock on a Saturday The Regular crowd shuffles in There's an old man sitting next to me Makin' love to his tonic and gin He says, Big, can you play me a memory I'm not really sure how it goes But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete When I wore a younger man's clothes. La la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum Sing us a song, you're the BIG EVIL man Sing us a song tonight Well, we're all in the mood for a melody And you've got us feelin' alright Now Johnny at the bar is a friend of mine He gets me my drinks for free And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke But there's someplace that he'd rather be He says, Big, I believe this is killing me. As the smile ran away from his face Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star If I could get out of this place Oh, la la la, di da da La la, di da da da dum, dum, dum, DUM, DAMN~ Big E slams his fists down on the piano followed by slamming his face down as well. Johnny motions for Abso to go help him out. Abso picks Big E up and drags him over to the bar next to Johnny. Johnny: What the hell's wrong man?! Big Evil: She left me! She's gone! She left me, everything, again! Gone! My wife...gone...again! Johnny: Why man?! Big Evil: Because I'm a PIECE...of SHIT...A PIECE OF SHIT...no other way to put it, I'm a piece of shit. I told you love is great Johnny, but it's not, it's a son of a bitch! To shut him up, Johnny back hands Big Evil across his face. Big Evil: Thanks. I needed that. Johnny: You need to find her. You need to apologize to her. Big Evil: Yeah, but how? Johnny: Sing her a song, better yet, sing her a song from her favorite movie. Suddenly, Big Evil pops out of his drunken stupor and remembers something. Big Evil: Johnny, you're my fucking hero. Meet me out in the middle of the street in about two hours. Johnny: Random, but, K. Big Evil goes scurrying out of the bar in a hurry. Johnny and Abso walk and watch him leave. Abso then walks away and Johnny goes to the other side of the bar. A mysterious lady walks up to Johnny Karisma who’s sitting at a table alone as Big E leaves and Abso tries hitting on some ladies at the bar. Highway run Into the midnight sun Wheels go round and round You're on my mind Restless hearts Sleep alone tonight Sending all my love Along the wire Lady: Excuse me, but aren’t you the world famous Johnny Karisma? Johnny: Yeah, why, what’s it to ya, lady? They say that the road Ain't no place to start a family Right down the line It's been you and me And lovin' a music man Ain't always what it's supposed to be Oh, girl, you stand by me I'm forever yours Faithfully Lady: I’ve been watching you for quite some time. Johnny: What, you’ve been here all night watching me make an ass out of myself? Lady: No. I mean your career. Ever since you came to the BQWA. Johnny: Oh, I get it. You’re a groupie. What are you looking for a one-night stand? Some free tickets? Sorry, ma’am, I don’t do that. Circus life Under the big top world We all need the clowns To make us smile Through space and time Always another show Wondering where I am Lost without you Lady: Um, I wouldn’t quite say that. Johnny: Listen, lady... Johnny looks up finally and his jaw drops. The camera pans to reveal the lady...Kelly Alexia. Johnny: ...ga-ga Kelly: Not exactly my name, but okay. And being apart Ain't easy on this love affair Two strangers learn to fall in love again I get the joy of rediscovering you Oh, girl, you stand by me I'm forever yours Faithfully Kelly, for some reason, crawls up onto the table and perches herself right in front of Johnny. Johnny: We’re, uh, we’re gonna do it, aren’t we? Kelly: ...Yeah. Kelly leans forward and begins kissing Johnny all over his face. Johnny: Everybody...in the bar...turn around...we’re gonna do it...we’re gonna make...loud animal noises Guy: Shut the hell up and quote a better goddamned movie then Talladega Nights Hearing this, Abso comes out of nowhere with a massive... [size=7]TEH BEWT~ [/size] ...For the bar fly. Johnny: ...Thank you. The scene fades as Kelly and Johnny continue to make out. ---------------------------------------------- We fade to a shot of Big Evil, still a bit drunk, with a dozen of roses in his hand walking up to Trish’s motel door, the one she’s staying at since walking out on Big Evil earlier on. Standing behind him is Bruce Springsteen, the boss. He sits down on a chair with his guitar and begins to play Big Evil: Ready, Bruce? Bruce Springsteen: Yep. She'll let you in her house If you come knockin' late at night She'll let you in her mouth If the words you say are right If you pay the price She'll let you deep inside But there's a secret garden she hides Big E knocks at the door, but before he can, Trish opens the door to see what all the noise is. She looks shocked to see Bruce Springsteen, and even more shocked to see Big E. Trish: Bruce...Springsteen? Big? Big Evil: Hello. I'm looking for my wife. Alright. If this is where it has to happen, then this is where it has to happen. I'm not letting you get rid of me. How about that? She'll let you in her car To go drivin' round She'll let you into the parts of herself That'll bring you down She'll let you in her heart If you got a hammer and a vise But into her secret garden, don't think twice Big Evil: This used to be my specialty. I was good in a living room. Send me in there, I'll do it alone. And now I just... I don't know... but our little company had a good night tonight. A really big night. You've gone a million miles How far'd you get To that place where you can't remember And you can't forget Big Evil: But it wasn't wasn't complete, it wasn't nearly close to being in the same vicinity as complete, because I couldn't share it with you. I couldn't hear your voice, or laugh about it with you. I missed my wife. She'll lead you down a path There'll be tenderness in the air She'll let you come just far enough So you know she's really there She'll look at you and smile And her eyes will say She's got a secret garden Where everything you want Where everything you need Will always stay A million miles away Big Evil: We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors, I love you. You complete me. And I just... Trish: Shut-up. Just shut-up. You had me at hello. As Bruce continues to play behind them, with a smile on his face, Big Evil and Trish embrace and begin kissing. Big Evil: I was hoping you’d get the obvious pun towards Jerry MaGuire. Trish: It’s my favorite movie. Bruce Springsteen wasn’t a bad touch either. Bruce Springsteen: Hey, uh, I’m gettin’ paid for this, right? Big E hurries Trish along into the room and locks the door behind them as Bruce begins banging on the door. Bruce Springsteen: Ah, hell. The scene fades. ------------------------------------------ We now turn into a shot of Adam Edge running down a dark, woods covered street, still in his hospital clothes. Suddenly, a man pops out of nowhere. Adam Edge: AH! WHAT THE FUCK~! Kid Disturbed: Boo. Adam Edge: The hell do you want? You piece of shit, I oughta beat your ass. Kid Disturbed: Just like you beat Featured Attraction's ass? Adam Edge: ...What do you want? Kid Disturbed: I've been sent here by Dolly, along with a few others, to keep an eye on the hospital, make sure one of her top guys didn't go AWOL, like you were about to do, and do something they'd regret, which I'm sure you had on your mind. Adam Edge: Then why was HE sent here? Kid Disturbed: Who? Atkie: Me. Kid Disturbed: Oh, what the hell. Atkie: It's quite simple, really, Adam. I've been sent here on my own to try and help you two out. You've both got an equal mission in life right now: to beat the bad guys. And I know just the way to do it. Kid Disturbed: How's that? Atkie: Follow me. The scene fades breifly as all three men begin to walk into the woods. ------------------------------ Atkie has led Adam and Kid Disturbed out to campfire in the middle of the woods where he begins discussing some his plans with them, as well as what he thinks should be done. How else would he do it? Of course, in song. But first, Adam and Kid D plead their case. Adam: Well a man came on the 6 o'clock news said somebody's been shot somebody's been abused somebody blew up a building somebody stole a car somebody got away somebody didn't get to far yeah they didn't get to far Atkie: Grand pappy told my pappy back in my day, son A man had to answer for the wicked that he'd done Take all the rope in Texas Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys Hang them high in the street For all the people to see For some odd reason, a shot of Kid D, Adam and Atkie all in cowboy get-up riding horses is shown. All: Now, Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune And we'll all meet back at the local saloon And we'll raise up our glasses against Featured Attraction singing whiskey for my men, beer for my horses... We switch back to the campfire, where Kid D speaks now. Kid Disturbed: We got too many wrestlers doing dirty deeds... Atkie: Too much corruption and crime in the streets... Kid Disturbed: It's time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground... Atkie: Send 'em all to their maker and he'll settle 'em down You can bet he'll set 'em down... All: Cause Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune And we'll all meet back at the local saloon And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces singing whiskey for my man, beer for my horses whiskey for my men, beer for my horses He knew Justice is the one thing you should always find You got to saddle up your boys, You got to draw a hard line When the gun smoke settles we'll sing a victory tune And we'll all meet back at the local saloon And we'll raise up our glasses against evil forces Singin' whiskey for my man, beer for my horses Singing whiskey for my man, beer for my horses They all laugh and chug back their bottles of beer. Atkie: That’s what you need to do, fellas. You need to beat these sons of bitches at their own game. Kid Disturbed: Why should we trust you, man? You’re managing Plus now, not us. Atkie: Anyone who hates Featured Attraction is a friend of mine. Atkie extends his hand for a handshake and respectively, is met by handshakes from Adam and Kid D. The scene fades. ------------------------------------ Just as Big E told him to do, Johnny and Kelly wind up meeting with Big Evil and Trish in the middle of a street. They’re shocked to see each other, but Johnny and Big E exchange high fives and begin telling each other about their nights. Johnny: I’ve never felt this great man, we’re back baby Voice: Oh, you’re not the only ones... Music, of course, starts up, and Kid Disturbed and Adam Edge, along with a huge slew of backup dancers, come dancing onto the street, which begins having its lights flash on and off, and they begin displaying major dance moves. Adam Edge: I’m bringing sexy back Them other boys donno know how to act I think your special whats behind your back So turn around and ill pick up the slack. Take em’ to the bridge Dirty babe You see these shackles Baby I’m your slave I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave It’s just that no one makes me feel this way Take em' to the chorus Kid Disturbed: Come here girl Go ahead, be gone with it Come to the back Go ahead, be gone with it VIP Go ahead, be gone with it Drinks on me Go ahead, be gone with it Let me see what you’re twerkin with Go ahead, be gone with it Look at those hips Go ahead, be gone with it You make me smile Go ahead, be gone with it Go ahead child Go ahead, be gone with it And get your sexy on Go ahead, be gone with it Get yo' sexy on Get yo’ sexy on Get yo’ sexy on Get yo’ sexy on Get yo’ sexy on Get yo’ sexy on Get yo' sexy on Adam Edge: I’m bringing sexy back Them other fuckers don’t know how to act Come let me make up for the things you lack Cause your burning up I gotta get it fast Johnny Karisma: Alright, jesus christ. All of the dancers, including Adam and Kid, stop in mid move, and look at Karisma. Johnny Karisma: Are you kidding me? We’ve kept this musical on par with some of the greatest songs of all-time, and what do you do? Adam Edge: Make it sexier? Kid Disturbed: Make it better? Big Evil: No, assholes, you queer it up with Justin Timber-fag. Well, I’ll tell you what, you wanna play gay? You ain’t seen NOTHING YET~ ! Adam Edge: ...The hell are you gonna do? Touch Karisma in his pee pee spot? Hahaha. Big Evil: Hey, asshole, watch it Adam is taken a back, shocked almost. Big Evil: That’s not Johnny. That’s Baby. And nobody talks like that about Baby... Kid Disturbed: ...Oh good... Big E extends his arm out to Johnny. Now, Big E is in an all black outfit, and Johnny is in a pink dancer’s outfit, complete with skirt. Johnny takes Big E’s arm and they pull in close and begin dancing. Now I've had the time of my life No I never felt like this before Yes I swear it's the truth and I owe it all to you 'Cause I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you I've been waiting for so long Now I've finally found someone To stand by me We saw the writing on the wall As we felt this magical Fantasy Johnny turns around, with Big E’s arms around his waist, and they begin swiveling back and fourth, up and down, to the beat of the music. Now with passion in our eyes There's no way we could disguise it Secretly So we take each other's hand 'Cause we seem to understand The urgency just remember You're the one thing I can't get enough of So I'll tell you something This could be love because Big Evil twirls Johnny around in a circle, pushes him out, still holding his hand, and then pulling him back into his arms. They tease a kiss, but stop at the last second. They begin dancing the Lambada. I've had the time of my life No I never felt this way before Yes I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you With my body and soul I want you more than you'll ever know So we'll just let it go Don't be afraid to lose control Yes I know whats on your mind When you say Stay with me tonight. Just remember Johnny and Big E now let go of each other and grab their respective women and proceed to repeat the same dance steps as before. You're the one thing I can't get enough of So I'll tell you something This could be love because 'Cause I had the time of my life And I've searched through every open door Till I've found the truth and I owe it all to you Adam Edge: Well, son of a bitch. Kid Disturbed: I’ll be damned. Adam Edge: I guess that changes everything. Kid Disturbed: I’d give them a 10, to be honest. Adam and Kid D turn and go to walk away. A few steps later, they quickly turn around and stare dead at Big E and Johnny. Adam Edge: Ha, yeah right, all that proves is that you guys are more gay than us. Big whoops. Kid Disturbed: Fight us, prove you’re real men... Suddenly... ...Trish and Kelly go scurrying away off to the sides as loads of gang members rush out to the street. The ones dressed in red, stand behind Big E and Johnny, who are now also wearing mid-80's red colored gangster outfits. The ones in blue stand behing Adam and Kid D, who are now also wearing the mid 80's blue colored gangster. This ain’t no ordinary fight... Big Evil: They told him don't you ever come around here Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear So beat it, just beat it.... Big E and Kid D entangle their arms together and begin walking in circles together slowly, Adam and Johnny do the same thing. Adam Edge: You better run, you better do what you can Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man You wanna be tough, better do what you can So beat it, but you wanna be bad All four men break apart and go to their respective sides where they go off and show their most impressive Michael Jackson-esque dance moves. All: Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it No one wants to be defeated Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it Just beat it, beat it Johnny Karisma: They're out to get you, better leave while you can Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man You wanna stay alive, better do what you can So beat it, just beat it... All of the gangsters behind both sets of men run forward and begin fighting, still leaving a wide open circle for the showdown between F.A. and Adam and Kid D. Kid Disturbed: You have to show them that you're really not scared You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare They'll kick you, then they beat you, Then they'll tell you it's fair So beat it, but you wanna be bad Big E and Kid D begin exchanging punches. Adam and Johnny, as well, begin exchanging punches. After a while, Adam and Kid D get the upper hands with stronger punches, pushes and kicks. All: Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it No one wants to be defeated Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right It reverses a bit, Big Evil hits a chokeslam on Kid Disturbed down onto the ground as Johnny hits the sXecution on Adam. When Adam and Kid get to their feet, they flee the scene along with all of their troops. Big E, Karisma, Trish, Kelly and their set of gangster all celebrate. Big E and Johnny: Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it No one wants to be defeated Showin' how funky and strong is your fight It doesn't matter who's wrong or right Big Evil: Fuck yeah, we showed them nigs. Johnny: In the most heelish style. Big Evil: You don’t think by doing a musical, people will start to love us, do you? Johnny: Nah. People hate musicals. Big Evil: K. While Big Evil and Johnny, along with the girls and Abso now, continue to celebrate in the middle of the street, Whacko once again appears out of nowhere. Whacko: Oh, you think this night is over yet? Big Evil: Oh jesus christ, you want to fight too? Whacko: Not exactly. Johnny: Then what... Whacko: Well... Ugh. Music starts up again, but this time, it sounds much, much different. Whacko now appears in a creepy butler’s outfit standing behind Trish and Kelly, scaring them. A whole slew of BQWA superstars come out to follow suit, dressed in halloween costumes and drag. Whacko: It's astounding, time is fleeting Madness takes its toll But listen closely... Kate Harrison: not for very much longer... Whacko: I've got to keep control Andy Chills appears with a bunch of dancers behind him. He begins doing the twist while singing. Andy Chills: I remember doing the Time Warp Drinking those moments when The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling... All: Let's do the time warp again Let's do the time warp again A random ass shot of Dolly Madison instructing how to dance in her office is shown. Dolly Madison: It's just a jump to the left All: And then a step to the right Dolly: With your hands on your hips All: You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane, Let's do the Time Warp again Skye Jones: It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me So you can't see me, no not at all In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention Well-secluded, I see all Whacko: With a bit of a mind flip Skye: You're there in the time slip Whacko: And nothing can ever be the same Skye Jones: You're spaced out on sensation Andy Chills: Like you're under sedation All: Let's do the Time Warp again Harmony: Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink He shook me up, he took me by surprise He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes. He stared at me and I felt a change Time meant nothing, never would again All: Let's do the Time Warp again A random shot of Dolly Madison instructing how to dance in her office is shown once again. Dolly Madison: It's just a jump to the left All: And then a step to the right Dolly: With your hands on your hips All: You bring your knees in tight But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane, Let's do the Time Warp again Almost as quickly as they entered, the entire group of superstars and back up dancers go fleeing away at moment’s notice as the record comes to a screeching hault. Big Evil: What the... Johnny: Dude... Big Evil: What? Johnny: That was....AWESOME~ Big Evil: ...Shut-up. Abso Tomko: Ya know, this is bull shit. Big E, Johnny and the girls turn around to see Abso standing there with his hands on his hips. Big Evil: What is? |
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| Big Evil | Feb 24 2008, 02:19 PM Post #2 |
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On TBS. Very Funny.
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wheres the rest of it?!
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| Harmony | Feb 24 2008, 02:43 PM Post #3 |
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
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Abso Tomko: This whole thing, this whole musical ordeal. Why did we have to do it in the first place? Johnny: Ugh. Like I said, people hate musicals, so this will make them hate us more Abso Tomko: Then why the hell couldn’t I sing a song? Big Evil: Ya know, if you weren’t Abso Tomko, I’d have Abso Tomko big boot yourself. Everyone gets really, really confused. Johnny: Easy, big fella. If he wants to sing a song, let him sing a song. We’re a few minutes short, so let him sing a song. Go ahead Abso, it’s all yours, buddy. Abso Tomko: Noice. Here we go... Little did Johnny know, this was the biggest mistake he’d make during this entire musical. The scene fades out and then back in quickly with Abso in extremely flashly and homosexual dancer wear, riding around on a unicycle, with about 20 other gay men, dressed in the same attire, also riding around on unicycles. All: Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride it where I like Abso: You say black I say white You say bark I say bite You say shark I say hey man Jaws was never my scene And I don't like Star Wars You say Rolls I say Royce You say God give me a choice You say Lord I say Christ I don't believe in Peter Pan Frankenstein or Superman All I wanna do is... All: Bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my bike I want to ride my bicycle I want to ride my Bicycle races are coming your way So forget all your duties oh yeah Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today So look out for those beauties oh yeah On your marks get set go Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race Bicycle bicycle bicycle...I want to ride my bicycle Bicycle bicycle bicycle Bicycle race... Suddenly, the music comes to a complete stop. The camera pans over to see an extremely angry Big Evil and Johnny Karisma destroying the backup band, who was a cover band for Queen, with a crowbar and a baseball bat. When they notice everyone looking at them, they stop. Big Evil: ...What? Johnny Karisma: Let’s close this out our own way, homie. Big Evil: K. The scene fades to a large stage in the center of town with thousands upon thousands of people cheering and going crazy as a blues band begins playing some fast, upbeat and familiar music. It’s the opening music from the performance of “Soul Man” in Blues Brothers. Suddenly, Abso Tomko, in a black suit, white shirt, black tie, black hat and black sunglasses walks out onto stage and begins speaking. Abso Tomko: Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you to the conclusion of this musical. And my god, what an amazing closing it’s going to be. If the rest of this musical was any indication, well this may just blow you out of the water. We’ve got from North Carolina, Johnny Karisma. We’ve got from New Jersey, Big Evil. Ladies and Gentlemen, they ain’t the Blues Brothers, they are, THE FEATURED ATTRACTION~ Big E walks out first and soon behind him is Johnny. They are dressed the same way Abso is. Johnny has a suitcase handcuffed to his wrist. When they get to their microphone stands, Big E takes a key and unlocks the suitcase, then unlocks the suitcase. Inside the suitcase is a beautiful golden Harmonica, which Johnny begins playing as the real song starts up. Big Evil: Comin' to ya, on a dusty road, Good lovin', I got a truck load. And when you get it, you got somethin', So don't worry, cause I'm comin'. Big E and Johnny: Cause I'm a soul man, I'm a soul man. Yea I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. Johnny: Got what I got, the hard way, And I'll make you better, each and every day, So honey, don't you fret, Cause you ain't seen, nothin' yet. Big E and Johnny: Cause I'm a soul man, I'm a soul man. Yea I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. Big Evil: I was brought up, on a side street. Learned how to love, before I could eat. I was educated, for good stock. Cause when I start lovin', I just can't stop. Big E and Johnny: Cause I'm a soul man, I'm a soul man. Yea I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. Johnny: Well grab a rope, and I'll pull you in. Give you hope, and be your only boy friend. Big Evil: Yeah. Johnny: Yeah. Big Evil: Yeah. Johnny: Yeah. Big E and Johnny: Cause I'm a soul man, I'm a soul man. Yea I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. Cause I'm a soul man, I'm a soul man. Yea I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man... Judging by the crowd’s extremely loud and positive reaction, their heelish plan may have backfired on them. Big Evil: ...Err, you sure this was a good idea? Johnny: No. Big Evil: Can I try now? Johnny: Sure. Big Evil runs off stage and rushes off the blues band. He brings back on the beaten up Queen cover band from Abso’s performance. Big Evil: Let’s try this... Big Evil: I've paid my dues - Time after time - I've done my sentence But committed no crime - And bad mistakes I've made a few I've had my share of sand kicked in my face - But I've come through Big Evil and Johnny: We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world - Johnny: I've taken my bows And my curtain calls - You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it I thank you all - But it's been no bed of roses No pleasure cruise - I consider it a challenge before the whole human race - And I ain't gonna lose - Big E and Johnny: We are the champions - my friends And we'll keep on fighting - till the end - As they really get into the song towards the end, they notice a silence amongst the crowd. They randomly raise up all of their gold: Primetime Title, International Title, WCW Tag Team Titles, EOTY Awards, and golden fireworks and sparklers go off behind them in the sky and on the stage. Big E and Johnny: We are the champions - We are the champions No time for losers 'Cause we are the champions - of the world... On that one and final note, Big Evil and Johnny Karisma pose tall. Behind them, Abso Tomko, Trish Evil and Kelly Alexia. Once they live down their charismatic ending, they look down to see the entire crowd is gone, leaving nothing and noone behind. Big Evil: NOICE~! Johnny Karisma: I'd sure as fuck say so. Big Evil: So, we're still heels right? Johnny Karisma: Yep. Big Evil: K. Johnny Karisma: Let's go. Let's end this. Big E and Johnny: THEY DON'T PAY US TO BE FUCKING WITTY~! ~Fin~ STARRING Big Evil Johnny Karisma Abso Tomko Angel Trish Evil Kelly Alexia Adam Edge Kid Disturbed Harmony Atkie Dolly Madison Halo Nature Charles Everton Andy Chills Kate Harrison Skye Jones Jessie Baltos Paige Constance Kent Fresca Whacko MUSICAL CREDITS "Tear Away" - Drowning Pool "Bohemian Rhapsody" - Queen "The Night Chicago Died" - Paper Lace "Don't Ask Me No Questions" - Lynyrd Skynyrd "Afternoon Delight" - Ron Burgandy "Keeping The Faith" - Billy Joel "I Hate Everything About You" - Three Days Grace "Old Time Rock'n'Roll" - Bob Seger "Wild Side" - Lou Reed "Piano Man" - Billy Joel "Beer For My Horses" - Toby Keith, Willie Nelson "Faithfully" - Journey "Secret Garden" - Bruce Springsteen "SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake "Time of my Life" - Bill Medely and Jennifer Warnes "Beat It" - Michael Jackson "Time Warp" - Rocky Horror Picture Show "Bicycle" - Queen "Soul Man" - Blues Brothers "We Are The Champions" - Queen ...Thank you, and goodnight. |
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| Harmony | Feb 24 2008, 02:47 PM Post #4 |
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Gogz once fucked a ginger
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I was having my dinner!
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2017, 09:43 PM Post #5 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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did you finish your dinner yet? fuck. |
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| CM Pyro | Feb 16 2017, 04:40 PM Post #6 |
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For Admin.
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She's never finished having dinner. |
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| Big Evil | Oct 27 2017, 07:41 PM Post #7 |
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On TBS. Very Funny.
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HA |
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, we're done. We're history. After this suspension, we'll be jobbing to midcarders, and on the unemployment line in no time.







9:16 AM Jul 11