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Topic Started: Mar 4 2008, 06:00 PM (229 Views)
Andy Bernard
I am a rube of the highest order

Andy Chills is tired of losing.

Andy Chills: I’m tired of losing!

Andy Chills is also very redundant. Anyway, he needs to train.

Andy Chills: I gotta get jacked!

No, not that kind of training.

Andy Chills: I have to pump some iron!

I don’t think you’re getting it.

Andy Chills: I gotta inject some roids!

No!!!!

Andy Chills: Why not?

You almost got fired for that.

Andy Chills: Let me ponder for a second.

—Insert pondering here—

Andy Chills: You’re right!

I’m always right!

Andy Chills: Why is that?

Being omniscient helps. Anyway, you need to train the old fashioned way.

Andy Chills: What do you mean?

The way the old timers used to train!

Andy Chills: I have to wrestle a bear?

More modern than that.

Andy Chills: But you just said I have to train the old fashioned way!

Don’t tell me what I did and didn’t say! I am the law!

Andy Chills: K. So what do I have to fight?

A lion!

Andy Chills: I already did that!

Not in this fed.

Andy Chills: I’ve stooped as low as to reuse ideas?

Eh, why not?

Andy Chills: TO THE ZOO!

Welcome to the zoo.

Andy Chills: Why thank you.

You’re welcome. Look to your left.

Andy Chills: Why should I listen to you?

Lion.

Andy Chills What?

Just then a gigantic lion pounces onto Andy.

Andy Chills: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!!?!?

It’s a lion.

Andy Chills: IT’S MAULING MY FACE!

Pain is only weakness leaving the body.

Andy Chills: IT WAS SO MUCH EASIER LAST TIME!

This is a trained fighting lion.

Andy Chills: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

So you don’t lose anymore. Quick! You must win!

Andy Chills: Fine!

Andy quickly locks a sleeper hold onto the lion.

Andy Chills: Go to sleep little lion. Go to sleep. Thattaboy. Thattaboy.

Once the lion has passed out from lack of air, Andy snaps its neck with his Herculean strength.

Andy Chills: Wait! You describe things?!?!?!

I’m a man of many talents.

Andy Chills: What else can you do?

This.

Scene fade….

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AD
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"5 stars"- :ninja:

"Riveting"- Newsday

"A Moving performance" - NYT

Anyway, made me laugh quite a few times. Nice little piece here.
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The Southside Kid
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Lil bro, that might be the most random rp ever. Pretty funny too.
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Midnite Raven
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Still got it Andy!


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SoCal
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Only you could pull this off man.

It was hilarious format wise, but the message was still there loud and clear. Great shit man, great shit.
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