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The One Upper
Topic Started: Mar 10 2008, 07:30 PM (276 Views)
Mr. Antisocial
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[ *  *  * ]
This promo takes place right after the past Meltdown.

Several stage hands can be seen clearing off storage units as Whacko is being carried into the back. Phenetic, Fudge Howards, and Popcorn Vendor place the crimson red superstar on one of the storage units. A doctor comes running into view and begins to clean blood off of Whacko's face as Whacko begins to smile.

Whacko: This brings back memories doctor.

Doctor: I swear Whacko, we're going to have to start charging you.

Whacko: No problem doc, just put it under my real name. Dolly Madison.

Whacko and the doctor share a laugh doctor as the doctor begins to stitch him up. Phenetic steps in closer as Fudge and Vendor walk off.

Phenetic: I know this may seem like a stupid question, but are you ok?

Whacko tilts his head slightly, trying not to ruin the doctors beautiful work, and glances at Phenetic.

Whacko: This is part of the job kid. I hate to be a prick, but I am being put together right now.

Phenetic nods his head showing the "legend" some respect and walks away.

Whacko: Why?

Doctor: Why what Whacko?

Whacko: Why did Phenetic decide to come to my aid? After he offered his services to Dolly.

The doctor stops stitching for the time being and looks at Whacko.

Whacko: Not those services.

Doctor: Wow, you had me scared there. I was going to give that kid a doctor who specializes in genital warts treatment.

Whacko begins to laugh as the doctor motions for him to calm down so he can finish up the stitch job.

Whacko: You would think by now, I would know what is going on around this business. But I never know what in the hell is going. I can tell you this, trust is something that I keep dear to my heart and it is rarely stolen.........ow.

The doctor takes the needle, wraps it in a paper towel, and shakes Whacko's hand.

Doctor: You know the drill buddy, see me in a few days so we can finish you.

Whacko nods his head and notices people running down the hall, while talking amongst themselves. The hardcore icon grabs one of the running pedestrians and pulls him toward him.

Whacko: What in the world is going on?

Pedestrian: We just heard that Adam Edge attacked Fudge Howards! The blonde haired bombshell has turned into a maniac!!!!!

Whacko: I call major bullshit.

The pedestrian looks dumbfounded and Whacko pushes him out of the way. Whacko walks down the corridor to see numerous people standing around a bloody Fudge Howards who is bleeding from every opening. Whacko notices a car antenna laying next to the fallen jobber.

Pedestrian: You see? The man has defiantly lost it. He beat the poor guy with a car antenna.

Whacko looks at the pedestrian and becomes a bit angry with a tad of frustration.

Whacko: The only thing Ken has lost is his conditioner and he is pissed about it.

Whacko grabs the pedestrian by the collar.

Whacko: Do you want to see a maniac? Do you really want to see someone "lose" it? Then watch this!

He let's go of the bystander and scans the backstage area, looking for something or maybe someone. Hardcore Robert walks past three stagehands and can be seen devouring his peanut butter cup. Whacko charges at the big monster and begins to punch the hell out of him. Hardcore Robert stumbles back a bit and drops his peanut butter cup. Everyone in the area becomes silent as the big man begins to shake in rage.

Hardcore Robert: PEANUT BUTTER CUP!!!~!

Pedestrian: Oh no, he's a goner.

Whacko smiles as Hardcore Robert grabs him by the throat.

Whacko: Let's play, shall we?

Whacko knees Robert in the groin, who then begins to scream in pain. The hardcore icon grabs a wet floor sign next to the bloody Fudge Howards and starts to attack the monster with the sign. Whacko then slams the floor sign on the concrete floor, kicks Robert in the gut, and delivers a devastating DDT to the big man. Whacko stands up displaying crazed eyes and starts to laugh.

Whacko: WHO'S THE MANIAC NOW!

Mr. Spanky runs into our viewing pleasure and begins to eat the peanut butter cup as the scene fades to black.
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Big Evil
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On TBS. Very Funny.

Mr. Spanky. Hardcore Robert. RANDOM PEDESTRIANS BAH GAWD~~!! Why did this go fucking no sold for two days? It's shit like this that pisses me off when the true legends like Whackster get no sold like he's got AIDS. I mean, he does, but that's besides the point.

Nothing to critique here as it's a piece of gold coming from yourself, sir. You have a way with words that's not "dictonary" sounding, if you know what I mean? You're not a Raven or Foley, who may confuse people at times. You're like a Shane Douglas or Steve Austin, straight to the point, and in one helluva way. And you know that don't you...don't you...you big cuddly son of a bitch bastard.
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