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Simon Watches WWF - 1993
Topic Started: Jan 6 2011, 04:42 PM (10,893 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF MONDAY NIGHT RAW~
January 11th, 1993
Manhattan Center
New York, NY


Sean Mooney is in front of the building, and Bobby Heenan tries to come in, but Sean tells him he's been replaced. Heenan wants to buy a ticket but the place is sold out and they argue as we cut to the credits.

WEEEEELLCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAAAAAAW!~

Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Rob Bartlett are at ringside for commentary.

Match #1: Koko B. Ware vs. Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji
Pretty awesome squash. Koko kept getting shoved back so he began moving quickly to stagger Yoko. Savage kept selling that Yoko's never left his feet so far in the WWF, and Koko had him reeling with a dropkick. He jumped, but Yoko moved and he hit the ropes hard. Yoko then killed him and won with the Banzai Drop.
**

A pretape from Bobby Heenan airs, talking about his new physically and mentally perfect client named Narcissus and how he's going to blow Mr. Perfect out of the water, and make him look like horse manure in comparison.

Match #2: The Steiner Brothers vs. The Executioners
The Executioners are AWFUL, blowing a ton of stuff, including the basic task of running the ropes. But Rick & Scott rule at killing people, so this was entertaining in that regard as long as they were on offense. They won with the Doomsday Steinerdog.
*

In front of the building, Bobby Heenan is dressed up as a woman claiming to be Rob Bartlett's aunt trying to get in, and Sean Mooney pulls off the wig.

Vince McMahon is in the ring, and he brings out Razor Ramon. He asks if he's ready to face Bret Hart for the WWF Title at the Rumble, and he's all like AY YO LOOK AT ME MANG I WAS BORN READY. HITMANG YOU DA MAIN MANG NOW, etc. He says it took Bret 8 years to get the WWF Title, and it'll only take him 6 months. Vince asks why he attacked Owen Hart at the end of 1992 if he's so good, and Razor says he squashed Owen like a cockaroach because it was fun, and Bret couldn't stop it, just like he won't be able to stop him from taking his precious gold belt at the Royal Rumble.

Match #3: Shawn Michaels [c] vs. Max Moon [WWF Intercontinenral Championship]
Doink is seen watching from the crowd. This has Rob Bartlett doing an awful Mike Tyson impression for over half the match, pretty much ruining it. It's not special or anything. Both men have high points, and then at others, look totally lost. Shawn hits the Superkick, and then the Teardrop Suplex to win, which is like 99% of an Angle Slam.
**

In front of the building, Bobby Heenan is now dressed as Rob Bartlett's Uncle Maury, and Mooney pulls off his beard.

Match #4: The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Damien Demento
Demento sells being slammed face-first to the mat by holding his hair, so that's awful. He keeps doing stuff like that, and it appears that he's not actually a trained wrestler. Taker wins with the Tombstone, and this sucked a dick.
1/2*

Back from break, Vince McMahon is with Doink and he says Crush has warned Doink about making children cry. Doink says it's not his fault if they don't have a sense of humor, and all that matters is if he laughs. He says if Crush was out here, he'd make him cry too, so Crush walks out. He says if he catches him playing his stupid tricks on anyone, he'll put him in a cast BRAH. Doink sprays him with a water gun, and Crush chases him around the ring before sliding into the ring. Doink laughs all the way to the back.

In the parking lot, Sean Mooney tells Heenan that he can go in, but the show is over now.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992

WWF Monday Night Raw
January 18th, 1993
New York, NY


Vince, Savage, and Rob Bartlett introduce us to the show but Repo Man runs down from behind and lays out Savage for no apparent reason, and he bails through the crowd with Randy's hat. Rob and McMahon help Randy Savage up going into the credits, and he runs into the crowd after Repo Man.

Before the first match, Savage returns to ringside, unable to find Repo Man.

Match #1: Mr. Perfect vs. Terry Taylor
After seeing him mostly in Mid-South stuff from the mid 1980s recently, seeing Taylor work as a heel is an odd change of pace, but it works. They work this as midcard heel overmatched against main event technical babyface, and it's these two, so it rules. After a decent Taylor control segment, it turns into a pretty good slugfest, and Ric Flair comes out to watch. He attacks Perfect on the floor, rolls him in, and runs off to the back. Back inside, Perfect quickly hits the Perfect Plex (or as McMahon calls it, a Superplex) to win.
**3/4

Post-match, Perfect takes off to the back after Flair.

In the ring, Vince McMahon brings out WWF Champion Bret Hart for an interview. He says it's one thing to insult him, but to insult his family and assault his brother for no reason is pathetic. He calls Razor Ramon the lowest form of scum in the entire WWF, and at the Royal Rumble he's going to show why he is the WWF Champion and the toughest, baddest, and the best.


Match #2: Marty Janetty vs. Glen Ruth
Shawn Michaels calls in for a bit during this, shitting on Marty to hype up their match at the Rumble. This is a Marty showcase, which goes on far too long, and is not particularly exciting or anything. Marty wins with a shitty looking Swinging Neckbreaker.
*1/4

Footage airs from this past weekend on Superstars:

Doink and Crush are facing off on the floor and Doink tries to give Crush a flower pen to bury the hatchet. After a few moments, Crush takes it and turns around to give it to a kid at ringside, BUT DOINK PULLS OFF HIS FUCKING ARM TO REVEAL A PROSTHETIC ARM, AND HE HITS CRUSH IN THE BACK OF THE SHOULDER WITH IT FUCK YEAH! He keeps beating him with it until Crush stops moving, and referees and agents pull Doink off, and he walks off laughing.

In front of the building, Sean Mooney is with Repo Man, who is now wearing Randy Savage's epic cowboy hat. He brags about having Savage's attention now, and keeps babbling until Savage gets up from commentary and walks off into the commercial.

Back from break, Savage is outside, but Repo Man has fled and Randy demands to know where he is.

Match #3: Ric Flair vs. Tito Santana
Textbook Flair vs. lower ranked babyface match. Tito is good at all the stuff that the early parts of that formula require, like clotheslines, dropkicks, and headlock takeovers, so it works. Flair takes over, and has some awesome body punches, but his control segment kind of gets cut off for more Flair bumping around, before Mr. Perfect runs out to attack Ric Flair for the DQ. Total formula nothing match, but it was enjoyable.
**3/4

Perfect and Flair continue to brawl on the floor, and officials and referees swarm out to try and stop it. They manage to move the fight to the back, and Vince McMahon promises an update on the situation after the commercial.

Coming back, they fight back out to ringside, but agents separate the two. Flair goes over to Vince McMahon at ringside, and gets on the mic. He says this place isn't big enough for the both of them, and he wants Mr. Perfect next week. He says one of them will stay and one will go, and he wants Perfect in a Loser Leaves Town Match! Flair says Perfect isn't man enough, and he'll never see the day in his life that he beats Ric Flair, and Flair walks off. Mr. Perfect walks over, and Vince relays the challenge. Perfect says he'll take it a in heartbeat, and if this is what he has to put up to get his hands on Ric Flair, then so be it, and he'll put up his career to take out Ric Flair.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair, WWF INVASION OF THE BODY SLAMMERS~ (January 4th)
This is good, obviously, but weird early on. Perfect bumps around like crazy, which is entertaining, but totally in appropriate since he's the face in the match and it's not like Ric Flair is regularly pinballing dudes around. He finally calms it the fuck down, and the typical pinballing of Flair happens. He gets on the Figure Four for a bit, and there's a huge difference in Perfect's babyface performance here and then two weeks later against Taylor, and shockingly, he's WAY better against Terry Taylor. Flair is pretty fucking great here though. Perfect hits the Perfect Plex to win at around 10 minutes, and this really felt restricted and held back.
**2/3
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


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WWF ROYAL RUMBLE 1993
January 24th, 1993
Sacramento, CA


I got tired of waiting for the full PPV pack of the 1990s to download, so I found the Anthology version on Dailymotion.

Match #1: The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers
As the Beverly Bros hit the ring, I realize that Blake Beverly is actually Mike Enos. HOLY SHIT! This is a good amount of fun, although it's largely a showcase for the Steiners. They hurl the other brothers around in epic fashion before the Beverly Bros. isolate Scott. It's all very solid basic stuff and fantastic cheating. The hot tag is made and it is highly entertaining with some brutal bumps by the heels. Scott hits one of them with the FRANKENSTEINER RIGHT ON HIS FUCKING HEAD JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, and the Steiners win. MOTY so far, although that means pretty much nothing at this point.
**3/4

A hype video airs for Michaels vs. Janetty.

Sensational Sherri comes out to sit at ringside in a neutral corner, making her return from accidentally being hit by glass when Shawn pulled her in the way of a mirror shot from Marty.

Match #2: Shawn Michaels [c] vs. Marty Janetty [WWF Intercontinental Championship]
This is really fun early on with Shawn pinballing around in entertaining fashion for Marty. Shawn eventually dodges a dive, and starts working on Marty's shoulder. The work on the arm varies between good and brutal and kind of lackluster, and Marty's selling is pretty good. "What I'd do, is I'd throw him to the floor on his head because then he'd crack his head open and probably wouldn't move a lot. It's a good amateur move." - Heenan. Marty makes a comeback, and pretty much completely forgets the hurt arm. Sherri is neutral most of the match, but slaps Shawn on the floor to begin a run of Marty nearfalls. The ref goes down, and Sherri comes in as Marty holds Shawn. She takes off her show and swings, but Shawn moves and she hits Marty. Shawn talks down to her, and brings Marty back up to hit the Sweet Chin Music to retain. Solid stuff, but held back hugely by Marty's awful selling.
**1/2

Shawn celebrates, and Sherri flees to the back.

In the back, "Mean" Gene catches up with Sherri as she cries, and yells "SHERRI! DAMNIT! SETTLE DOWN, YOU ARE HYSTERICAL!" Shawn Michaels comes over, but Marty Janetty dives after him, and the two have to be held apart by referees.

Match #3: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Bossman
For two guys who are clearly good, this is pretty boring. A lot of slow and directionless work for the first 5 or 6 minutes out of 10, until they finally get going with some good power stuff. Bossman made a pretty solid comeback, and Bigelow broke out an awesome missed Crossbody (possibly Of Manliness~), and ended up winning with a badass Diving Headbutt on Bossman. If the first 2/3rds of this were as good as the last 1/3rd, this would be AWESOME.
**1/4

They play clips of Razor Ramon assaulting Owen Hart last month.

Clips air from an interview last night with Razor Ramon, and he says when he leaves the Rumble, he'll have gold around his fingers, his neck, and he'll have Bret Hart's gold around his waist.

In the back, "Mean" Gene is with Bret Hart, and Bret talks about how he's been a fighting champion, but this is personal because of what Razor Ramon's done. He says it's personal because Razor made it about his family's honor, and the WWF Title isn't the only thing he's going to defend tonight.

Match #4: Bret Hart [c] vs. Razor Ramon [WWF Championship]
Razor wins a slugfest early on, and when he misses a knee in the corner, Bret starts working on the knee. Razor's selling is pretty good, but he starts working on Bret's ribs, and pretty much completely forgets his hurt knee. His work on the ribs is pretty good, and brutal at points, but when Bret comes back, he largely ignores that too, leading me to the logical conclusion that nobody is allowed to sell on this show. Bret has a pretty awesome Tope Suicida though. There was some good stuff in the finishing stages of this, and Bret retained with the Sharpshooter. The lack of selling by either men really damaged this.
**3/4

Bobby Heenan comes out to an area on the side of the stage for the big unveiling of THE NARCISSIST LEX LUGER! He pulls off a big sheet and Luger is posing in front of some mirrors. Lex poses for several minutes as Heenan hypes him up, and Heenan gets Luger to turn around. He says he's truly incredible, and will be without a shadow of a doubt, the most dominant force in WWF history, and all other wrestlers will bow down before the most metamorphically magnificent specimen in the world, and he's BEYOND perfect. Some amazing verbal skills on display here. The curtain falls back on Lex.

WrestleMania IX is hyped up for Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas, NV.

It's announced that for the first time, the winner of the Royal Rumble will get a WWF Championship shot at WrestleMania IX.

Match #5: THE 1993 ROYAL RUMBLE~!

-#1 is Ric Flair
-#2 is Bob Backlund! FUCK YES!
-They have a pretty awesome two minute run
-#3 is Papa Shango
-He has some good headbutts to Backlund, but Flair quickly pushes Shango out
-#4 is Ted DiBiase
-#5 is Brian Knobbs
-He cleans house, and the Flair & Ted bumping for him is fun
-#6 is Virgil
-Virgil & Ted go right at it, in nice continuity
-Knobbs runs at Ted, but he dodges and Knobbs is taken out to the floor
-#7 is JERRY LAWLER SHIT YEAH
-Lawler vs. Flair is pretty awesome
-#8 is Max Moon
-Moon runs at Lawler in the corner and Lawler drops him out
-#9 is Genichiro Tenryu
-Flair vs. Tenryu is really great, with epic chops by Tenryu
-Flair, Lawler, Backlund, Tenryu, and DiBiase all in the same ring is pretty fucking cool
-#10 is Mr. Perfect
-He goes right after Flair, and it RUUUUULES
-#11 is Skinner
-Perfect clotheslines Flair over, and he's gone after 18 minutes!
-WE GET A RETURN OF HEENAN YELLING "THAT'S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR!"
-Perfect & Lawler revive their great rivalry, and for some reason, Lawler is working face in the Rumble
-#12 is Koko B. Ware
-Perfect dropkicks Skinner out to the floor
-#13 is Samu
-#14 is THE BERZERKER! HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!
-HUSS!
-HUSS!
-HUSS!
-Perfect ends the Lawler/Hennig reunion fight by Back Dropping Lawler out to the floor
-Ted throws Perfect to the apron, and Lawler pulls him off as DiBiase and Koko shove him with their feet
-Lawler and Perfect fight some more before being pulled apart
-Berzerker tosses Virgil as all this is going on
-#15 is The Undertaker
-Berzerker and Backlund brawl on the floor, and Berzerker hits him with a chair and slams him on the concrete
-Taker tosses Samu
-There's a fun Taker/Tenryu section, before Taker drops him out
-#16 is Terry Taylor
-Koko and Terry struggle, and DiBiase throws them both out!
-Ted turns around into a Chokeslam, and The Undertaker clotheslines him out!
-TAKER THROWS OUT BERZERKER, BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT!
-HARVEY WHIPPLEMAN LEADS OUT GIANT MOTHERFUCKING GONZALEZ
-They fight, and Gonzalez eliminates Taker with a chop
-#17, Damien Demento, comes out during this
-Gonzalez keeps beating Taker on the floor
-He brings him back in as Demento waits, and Chokeslams Taker
-Referees finally pull Gonzalez to the back
-#18 is IRS
-They beat on Backlund as Taker can't get up
-#19 is Tatanka
-Bearer comes out with the urn, and Taker finally slowly sits up and has trouble leaving
-#20 is Jerry Sags
-Aside from Backlund, the ring is basically a nightmare at this point
-#21 is Typhoon
-Typhoon abuses his fat in amusing form
-#22 is Fatu
-#23 is Earthquake
-THE NATURAL DISASTERS COLLIDE HOLY FUCK SO MUCH FAT
-Earthquake tosses Typhoon
-#24 is Carlos Colon
-Colon tosses Demento
-#25 is Tito Santana
-BACKLUND THROWS OUT FATU FUCK YEAH BACKLUND
-#26 is Rick Martel
-MARTEL GOES RIGHT FOR TITO! STRIKE FORCE FUCK YEAH!
-Martel/Tito is a lot of fun
-IRS dives at Earthquake, but he moves and IRS is out
-#27 is Yokozuna
-Tatanka fails to knock Yoko over, and Yoko throws him out
-Yokozuna also tosses Colon
-YOKOZUNA VS. EARTHQUAKE ROYAL RUMBLE BIG MAN SHOWDOWN FUCK YEAH!
-#28 is Owen Hart
-Earthquake misses a corner splash, AND YOKO FUCKING POWERS HIM OVER THE TOP HOLY SHIT YEAH
-#29 is Repo Man
-#30 is Randy Savage
-Savage goes right after Repo
-Yoko hurls Santana over the top
-Owen dropkicks Sags over the top to the floor
-Yoko grabs Owen as he runs, an hurls Owen out
-Savage throws out Repo

-FINAL FOUR: Bob Backlund, Rick Martel, Yokozuna, Randy Savage
-Backlund and Martel have a fun fight, AND BACKLUND SHOVES MARTEL OUT FUCK YEAH
-FUCK YEAH BOB BACKLUND
-Backlund vs. Yoko is great shit
-YOKO THROWS OUT BACKLUND AW FUCK BOOOOOO
-FUCK YOU YOKOZUNA
-Great Backlund showing
-AWESOME Yoko vs. Savage final minutes
-Savage gets Yoko on one knee with repeated Flying Axe Handles, but Yoko cuts him off with a sick Superkick
-Yoko starts mauling Savage in great form
-Yoko misses a back splash in the corner and falls down
-Savage hits the Flying Elbow, but falsely tries a cover, and Yoko shoves him off
-The momentum takes Savage over the top, and Yokozuna wins!

Great first half or so, and it all went downhill when Gonzalez attacked Taker. It picked up again around the end, with a great closing run from the final four on.

**3/4

Yokozuna celebrates to the back to end the PPV.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
January 25th, 1993
New York, NY


TONIGHT: RIC FLAIR VS. MR. PERFECT IN A LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH! Also, Randy Savage vs. Repo Man

In front of the building, Repo Man arrives in a repo truck, and he has Savage's hat from last week. He laughs and says he's going to repossess Randy's career tonight like he repo'd his hat last week, and walks into the Manhattan Center.

At ringside, it's Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, and Rob Bartlett! Vince hypes up Kamala and The Bushwackers in action later, and Heenan hypes up Flair vs. Perfect in a Loser Leaves Town match later on.

Match #1: Randy Savage vs. Repo Man
Vince's growing dislike for Rob Bartlett is the highlight of this. After a horrible joke, Heenan asks where Vince got this guy, and Vince responds with, "I...I don't know, Bobby. Just ignore it." This match is not very good. There's some solid shots, but it's generally meandering and unfocused. Savage hits the Flying Elbow to win after 8 minutes or so.
**

Post-match, Savage reclaims his hat.

Match #2: Kamala w/ Reverend Slick vs. The Brooklyn Brawler
Kamala squash, and Vince keeps putting over Kamala being weirded out by people liking him. He wins with the Big Splash.
1/2*

Vince McMahon interviews Slick about Kamala's progress, and Slick says the real credit goes to the fans for opening their hearts to Kamala, but he won't be held responsible for what happens if Harvey Whippleman or Kim Chee gets in Kamala's way after they abandoned him at the end of 1992.

Match #3: Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect [Loser Leaves Town]
This got 18 minutes, and was very very good. Really great back and forth for the first half or so, with a ton of really great bumps and punches/chops from both men. Perfect got busted open, and Flair was brutal on the cut, as well as working the knee of Perfect. Perfect made an amazing comeback with some great desperate moments while still selling the knee, and they did a great job of constantly going for pins on everything to put over the hugeness of the match. If they had a better crowd, this might be better, but the crowd not being super hot for this kind of hurts. Perfect catches Flair with the Perfect Plex to win, and Flair is gone from the WWF.
***1/2

NEXT WEEK ON RAW: Doink The Clown vs. Typhoon!
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Big Tuna
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Top 10 Matches - January 1993:

1. Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect, Raw (January 25th)
2. The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers, Royal Rumble (January 24th)
3. Mr. Perfect vs. Terry Taylor, Raw (January 18th)
4. THE 1993 ROYAL RUMBLE~!, Royal Rumble (January 24th)
5. Ric Flair vs. Tito Santana, Raw (January 18th)
6. Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon, Royal Rumble (January 24th)
7. Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair, WWF INVASION OF THE BODY SLAMMERS~ (January 4th)
8. Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Janetty, Royal Rumble (January 24th)
9. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Bossman, Royal Rumble (January 24th)
10. Yokozuna vs. Koko B. Ware, Raw (January 11th)

Wrestler of the Month: Mr. Perfect/Ric Flair (TIE)

Tag Team of the Month: The Steiner Brothers
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
February 1st, 1993
New York, NY

Match #1: Tatanka vs. Damien Demento

Tatanka was pretty solid here, with good chops and generally good movement and bumping. Demento wasn't very good, but we all already knew that. He was in control briefly, which was not very good, but Tatanka made a comeback. He hit a big chop, and hit a Samoan Drop to win.
*3/4

Vince McMahon is in the ring and on the mic, and he says his guest at this time is unquestionably an all-time great, but that makes no sense, as he brings out Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. He says it's great to be back after that near-fatal parasailing accident. He says he intends to return to the ring and the strutting and the cutting. Vince brings up the riskiness of this given that his face was reconstructed, so he brings up how both his parents died recently before the accident, and the fans look hilariously unimpressed. The fans pop at him saying his wife divorced him and he talks about the accident. Someone yells out "KILL YOURSELF BRUTUS!" and I can't stop laughing. He says he was reaching out for God's hand, but instead, he got Hulk Hogan's hand, and talks about how his friendship with Hogan inspired him to come back to the ring. The fans keep booing, and this is pretty hilarious. Brutus says after all this, nothing in this ring can make him quit, and he's back to take on anyone, and has signed an open contract to face anybody.

Match #2: High Energy [Owen Hart/Koko B. Ware] vs. Iron Mike Sharpe/Skull Von Krush
This is 90 seconds and a High Energy squash. Dropkicks happen, and Owen holds up SVK as Koko hits a Missile Dropkick, and then Owen gets a Jackknife Pin to pin Skull.
3/4*

A replay airs of Superstars from a few weeks back, where Doink attacked Crush with a prosthetic arm. Randy Savage says that word on the street is that it was filled with lead. Vince McMahon says Crush will be back in a few weeks.

Match #3: Doink The Clown vs. Typhoon
This was 3 minutes, but actually a ton of fun. Doink keeps taking down Typhoon to do matwork, which is pretty amusing for obvious reasons. Typhoon makes a comeback by being fat, and then misses a corner splash. Doink hits a Flying Clothesline off the middle buckle, and holds the tights with the pin for the win. Doink rules, and the crowd agrees, with loud "DOINK!" chants during this.
**

A 10 bell tribute is done to honor Andre The Giant.

Match #4: Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Bobby DeVito
YOKOZUNA TRIES TO DESTROY THE CARNAGE CREW BEFORE IT CAN HAPPEN! HOLY SHIT, YES! GREATEST FEUD EVER! Vince completely denies that Savage had Yoko on the mat at the Rumble, saying Yokozuna has never been knocked down, although Yoko technically knocked himself down by missing a corner splash. Pretty awesome squash with some brutal stuff by Yoko. Hacksaw Jim Duggan calls in during this to hype up his match with Yokozuna on Superstars, saying he believes he can knock Yoko off his feet.
**

Duggan says he will not disappoint himself, his family, or his country. TOUGH GUY! HOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Vince McMahon is on the mic at ringside, and he brings out WWF Tag Team Champions, Money Inc. He points out being booed, but Ted says the only thing that bothers him is an empty bank account, and he'll never have that. Vince says they asked for this time, and Ted says Brutus Beefcake is a lot like Humpty Dumpty, and the king's horses and men won't be able to put him back together again. He says they were in the back for that whole sob story, but that open challenge is a slap in the face, and he says they'll take his challenge, and they flip a coin. Ted wins, and Jimmy Hart comes out to say this is a waste of time for the world tag champions. Ted assures him that this is recreational and a workout for them, and Hart gets them to stop and go to the back.

The famous vignette airs of Mr. Perfect throwing himself a football across the field.

Match #5: Lex Luger vs. Jason Knight
Solid 2 minute squash for Luger, and after the Running Forearm, he pins the jobber with one pinky.
*1/2

RAW WILL RETURN IN TWO WEEKS WITH THE FOLLOWING:
-A 16 man battle royal
-Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ7JV0pH2E0

WWF SPECIAL REPORT WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES!

Clips air of the Yokozuna/Duggan challenge from Superstars with Duggan trying to get Yoko off of his feet. He eventually knocked him down, becoming the first man to do so. Duggan celebrated with the flag, so Yokozuna threw salt in his eyes. He hit the Bonzai Drop, and then put Duggan's flag on top of Hacksaw. He hit another Banzai Drop to the US flag over Duggan, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan had to be stretchered out.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Nitro
February 15th, 1993
New York, NY


In a pretape, Brutus Beefcake says tonight, he makes his triumphant return to the WWF.

In another pretape, Ted DiBiase says that two years ago, Beefcake's face was shattered, but tonight, that'll be the least of his worries. Jimmy Hart tells him to calm down with that kind of talk, and Ted tells him not to worry.

Match #1: The Steiner Brothers vs. Glen Ruth/Bobby Who
Scott obliterates the neck of Glen Ruth with an epic Dragon Suplex. They kill the jobbers with a number of Suplexes, before hitting the Doomsday Bulldog on Bobby Who for the win.
*1/2

Match #3: Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Ross Greenberg

Another Yoko squash that is magnificent in the sheer brutality of it. The crowd begins to loudly chant "USA!", so Yoko starts slapping the shit out of the jobber, before hitting the back splash in the corner. He hits a straight punch to the face to knock him down to the mat, before hitting the Bonzai Drop to win. Yokozuna is amazing.
**

The special report that I just covered aired on Raw, so I look pretty stupid now. I wasn't sure if they would recap it on Raw, since they do stuff like not having the WWF Champion on any show since the Rumble, or totally ignoring the Tag Champions for the first month of Raws, but I'm glad they covered the Yokozuna/Duggan angle, because it ruled.

At ringside, they talk about the 16 man battle royal tonight. Vince says Giant Gonzalez wanted to enter the battle royal, but all 15 other men refused to compete with him, so it wasn't allowed to happen, and the battle royal will go on without Gonzalez as a 15 man battle royal now. I feel like him killing all the guys and winning easily would do more to put him over than this, but I will not protest a lack of El Gigante matches.

Clips air from WWF Superstars last weekend of Giant Gonzalez killing three jobbers.

Match #3: 15 Man Battle Royal
Those involved are: Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Tatanka, Tito Santana, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Kamala, Bob Backlund, Iron Mike Sharpe, Kim Chee, Typhoon, Damien Demento, Berzerker, Terry Taylor, and Skinner. Shawn eliminates Koko first with a Back Drop, and aimless clubbering happens for most of this. Typhoon clotheslines Skinner out, and then Demento. Berzerker tosses Owen, but Kamala soon punches him out to the floor. Kim Chee helps Typhoon push Kamala over, and Kamala comes back in to throw out Kim Chee. He chases him to the back through the crowd, and it continues into the commercial. Typhoon again abuses his fat, but Shawn dodges a corner splash and pushes Typhoon out to the floor. The final four are Shawn, Razor, Tito, and Tatanka, and it's pretty fun. Shawn and Tito have some good showings, but Tito and Tatanka team up to toss Shawn out. Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Whippleman come out now, and Razor bails through the ropes to the floor. Gonzalez throws Tito and Tatanka over and leaves, and Razor sneaks back in to celebrate winning the match. Not very good at all until the final four.
*3/4

Match #4: Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Jimmy Hart

This is acceptable. Beefcake is not very good, but Ted's bumping and stooging for 4 minutes are pretty entertaining. IRS comes down and when Ted shoves Brutus off the ropes, IRS nails him with the briefcase for a DQ.
**

They beat on him post-match, and Ted picks up Brutus. He holds him in place, and IRS prepares to use the briefcase. Jimmy Hart tries to stop it, and repeatedly gets in Irwin's way, until Irwin finally has enough and throws Jimmy out to the floor. Ted keeps holding him, and IRS runs and smacks the briefcase off of Beefcake's face! Money Inc. leaves, and Jimmy Hart checks on Beefcake.

EMTs come out as Beefcake holds his face, and they stretcher out Beefcake to end the show.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
February 22nd, 1993
New York, NY


TONIGHT: HBK/Beverly Brothers vs. Tatanka/Nasty Boys, Hulk Hogan is here...

Match #1: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Taylor
Years before The Worm, Scotty 2 Hotty dies against Bam Bam. He took some brutal bumps, and Bam Bam won with the Diving Headbutt.
*3/4

A pretaped interview between Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan airs from earlier this week. Vince asks about the future of Hulkamania, and Hogan goes into this huge speech about making mistakes in the past and about tabloid media only reporting negatives, and how his fans dwell on positives. Really just blatant stuff to try and spin stuff around all the steroid trials at the time, and Hogan says to wait for what he has to say on Monday Night Raw.

Shawn Michaels vs. Tatanka for the IC Title is announced for WrestleMania IX, stemming from a recent episode of Superstars where Tatanka pinned Shawn in a non-title match.

Match #2: Shawn Michaels/The Beverly Brothers vs. Tatanka/The Nasty Boys
This is the debut of the modern version of "Sexy Boy" with Shawn singing. This is actually really good. Tatanka cleans house early on, and the first half of this is pretty much all Shawn & the Beverlies bumping around in great fashion for the Nasties and Tatanka. They eventually isolate Knobbs, and they have some fun stuff, but it goes on a bit too long before Tatanka gets the hot tag. He cleans house on Shawn, and it breaks down. Shawn tries the Teardrop Suplex, but Tatanka counters into a Sunset Flip to again pin the IC Champion before Mania.
**3/4

Match #3: Crush vs. Terry Taylor

Rob Bartlett does a horrible Arnold impression during this, upset about Vince claiming Hulk Hogan will head up the President's Council on Physical Fitness. God fucking damnit. Neither man is great in this, although Crush totally blows a dropkick early on, so at least Taylor doesn't have that against him. Taylor was the wrong guy to bump around for Crush's return, but Crush wins with the HEAD CRUSHER!
*1/4

Crush celebrates, and Crush vs. Doink is announced for WrestleMania IX.

Clips air from last week of Money Inc. assaulting Brutus Beefcake.

Vince McMahon is in the ring and on the mic, and he brings out Hulk Hogan. He comes out, and says last week, he was happy as he watched his best friend Brutus Beefcake make his big comeback, and then he saw what they did to Brutus Beefcake. Hogan says the good news is that Brutus is okay, but his nose is bent up a bit. Hogan says the real issue is what they tried to do, and he thanks "THE BIG MAN UPSTAIRS" for being on Brutus' side last week, and then as crazy as this may sound, he thanks Jimmy Hart for trying to stop it last week and for checking on Beefcake. Hogan says he's here on a mission, and says he's back in the WWF! He says the first order of business is to write the wrong of last week, and the first man he wants in the ring with him right now is Brutus Beefcake, so he comes out to answer his master's call. He talks about last week, and says nothing on Earth can shatter his face. He also thanks this weird "big man", and thanks Jimmy Hart as well, and says he can't wait to get his revenge. Hogan says he hopes Money Inc. is watching, because they're going to start seizing their assets, and they begin with their brand new manager, Jimmy Hart! He comes out in red and yellow, and stands with them. Jimmy Hart says this is the greatest day of his life, and he's always dreamed of wearing the red and yellow of a man he's idolized, and talks about how many people in the back idolize Hogan too. Hart says he believes they can be the greatest tag team of all time. Hogan says his first order of business as the manager of THE MEGAMANIACS~~~ is to get them Money Inc. in the ring, and Hogan asks Money Inc. what they will do when this trio runs wild on them. Horrible.

The Undertaker comes out to fight Skinner, and time runs out, but Vince hypes up Bret Hart vs. one of the Headshrinkers next week, as the company remembers that they have a WWF Champion.
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Top 10 Matches - February 1993:
1. Shawn Michaels/The Beverly Brothers vs. Tatanka/The Nasty Boys, Raw (February 22nd)
2. Doink The Clown vs. Typhoon, Raw (February 1st)
3. Yokozuna vs. Ross Greenberg, Raw (February 15th)
4. Yokozuna vs. Bobby DeVito, Raw (February 1st)
5. Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase, Raw (February 15th)
6. 15 Man Battle Royal, Raw (February 15th)
7. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Taylor, Raw (February 22nd)
8. Tatanka vs. Damien Demento, Raw (February 1st)
9. The Steiner Brothers vs. Glen Ruth/Bobby Who, Raw (February 15th)
10. Lex Luger vs. Jason Knight, Raw (February 1st)


Wrestler of the Month: Yokozuna/Tatanka (TIE)

Tag Team of the Month: The Beverly Brothers/The Nasty Boys (TIE)
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WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
March 1st, 1993
New York, NY


Vince & Savage have an Elvis impersonator with them. I'm pretty sure it's just Rob Bartlett, but they're selling it as the real Elvis, so that's uh...

Match #1: Bret Hart [c] vs. Fatu w/ Afa [WWF Championship]
This is a test of Bret vs. a bigger foreigner guy who also has a manager, but nobody really mentions this. Bret stays on the arm in good fashion early on. Then Samu comes out to help and brutalizes Bret on the floor before the break. Bret took some brutal bumps back in the ring, but his comeback was pretty sudden and he was suddenly just fine again. Bret threw Fatu into Samu on the apron, and hit a Russian Leg Sweep. He dropkicked Afa off the other side to the floor, and put on the Sharpshooter to win.
**3/4

WRESTLEMANIA IX REPORT WITH MEAN GENE:
-Epic WrestleMania theme song is in effect
-Money Inc vs. The MegaManiacs has been made official after Money Inc. actually challenged Hogan & Beefcake to a tag match at WrestleMania IX
-The Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez has been made
-Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger was also signed

In Hawaii, Crush says that at WrestleMania, he'll treat Doink's head like this coconut, and he picks up one and crushes it in his hands.

Doink comes out for his match and has a present with him, and he leaves it on the apron.

Match #2: Doink The Clown vs. Koko B. Ware
This is a squash, and not much happens, besides an awesome Doink knee early on. He works on the leg a bit and puts on the Stump Puller to win in under 90 seconds.
3/4*

Post-match, Elvis Barlett tries to interview Doink, and asks if he has anything to eat. Doink pulls open his present box to reveal a pie, and he smashes it in Barlett's face. Doink leaves, and Elvis is pleased with this.

Vince McMahon is in the ring, and he brings out Money Inc. He asks about what The MegaManiacs said last week, and Ted says he thought that horrible music had faded away forever, but now Hulk Hogan's back. He says both Hogan and Beefcake have been gone for a long time, and Hogan's been off making commercials. He says losing Jimmy Hart was cutting their losses, and Vince asks about what they did to Beefcake. Irwin holds up the briefcase and a picture of Hogan is taped on it, and he says Hogan's name is all over this briefcase the next time they meet. Vince asks if they're going to put up the Tag Titles against Hogan & Beefcake at Mania and Ted asks if they're supposed to be afraid. He says they'll defend the titles, because Hogan & Beefcake have gone soft, and IRS says the odds are completely in their favor.

Match #3: Lex Luger vs. PJ Walker
This squash is just incredible! No, actually it's not very good at all, and Luger wins with the Running Forearm. This getting double the time of Doink/Koko is pretty awful.
1/2*

Match #4: The Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Hardy

Usual fun Steiner squash, totally hurling around the jobbers in entertaining form. Scott kills one of them with the Frankensteiner for the win.
*1/2

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WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
March 8th, 1993
New York, NY


In a pretape, The MegaManiacs cut a promo. Hogan says in retaliation to people saying Brutus is the weak link, he's been hitting him in the face all week with a metal briefcase, and he's not weak at all. Hogan says they're going to deplete Money Inc.'s assets and they have a surprise for them, but by the way, LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S MONDAY NIGHT RAW!

Match #1: Money Inc. vs. Tito Santana/Virgil
This is okay, and solid at points. Not great or anything, but solid. Tito vs. Ted to begin is fun, and then the faces begin to work on IRS' arm. He pretty much ignores it though, and Ted gets in. They briefly isolate Tito, but they put over Virgil getting the tag like it's been a long time, which is pretty ridiculous. Virgil has a mediocre hot tag, but Ted distracts him and IRS hits a Back Suplex to win.
**1/4

Clips air of Tatanka's recent victories over Shawn Michaels, hyping up their IC Title match at WrestleMania IX.

The Raw girls are parading the Raw signs around the ring, but Rick Martel comes out. He makes them leave and parades the sign around himself, saying nobody's a better model than The Model.

Match #2: Tatanka vs. Phil Apollo
Showcase match for Tatanka against a very out of shape jobber. Tantaka had some good stuff, and won with the Samoan Drop. During the match, Shawn Michaels called in to say that Tatanka got lucky twice, but the only sure thing at Mania was going to be Shawn Michaels leaving with the IC Title.
*

WRESTLEMANIA REPORT TIME:
-It's now being billed as a double main event with Bret/Yoko and the Tag Title match
-In a pretape, Bret Hart cuts a promo. He says he's prepared and watched tapes, and so far, Yoko's steamrolled through everyone, but he likes coming in as the underdog. He says at the end of the match, Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji will respect him, and he'll walk out with the WWF Championship.
-In another pretape, Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji cut a promo. Fuji says Bret Hart is already a beaten man, and the WWF Title will leave with his Yokozuna. BONZAI!
-In another pretape, The Undertaker and Paul Bearer cut a promo. Paul says that never before has anyone perpetrated such an act on his Undertaker, and now he'll pay the price as he rests in peace.

Back in the ring, Rick Martel comes back out to show another Raw sign girl model how to do it right.

Match #3: Papa Shango vs. Mike Edwards
This went on too long, and was not any kind of great squash. Shango won with a Reverse Shoulderbreaker.
1/2*

Match #4: Bob Backlund vs. Tony Demoro

AWESOME SQUASH! Tony has muscles and tries to be a dick, but Bob embarrasses him with takedowns and wins with a Butterfly Suplex.
**

In the back, Rick Martel says "perfect" is so boring, and he's going to show this horrible building some class and excitement.

Match #5: Mr. Perfect vs. Rick Martel
This is a ton of fun. Awesome schtick from both men, with Martel trying to outclass Perfect and getting embarrassed on the mat and stuff. This is butchered by commercials, as 10 minutes is trimmed down to 6 or 7, and they manage to completely miss the finish during the break. Uncut, this is probably ***, but it got butchered. Perfect won with the Perfect Plex.
**3/4

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This finally finished downloading:


Bret Hart [c] vs. Ric Flair w/ Bobby Heenan [WWF Championship - Iron Man Match], WWF Live - Boston, MA (January 9th)
They begin with some pretty great matwork, focusing on the arm of both men. Nothing overly fancy, but really organic back and forth stuff. Flair had some super fucking brutal variations on holds at points in the first 10-15 minutes. Bret tried to come back, and eventually did. He had a pretty great form of selling, where he'd work through the arm pain when coming back, but once in control, he'd shake out the arm and hold it when Flair couldn't attack it. He gradually stopped selling it when working Flair's leg, and also had some brutal looking stuff on the knee. Flair pretty much immediately forgot the knee when the focus shifted though, and Bret got an O'Connor Roll to get the first pin at 27 minutes to go up 1-0.

Flair began to work on the knee of Bret now, and it's Flair working a knee, so it's good fun. He broke out some stuff he rarely did in TV matches on the leg, and Heenan got sent to the back for distracting the ref as Flair used a chair on the leg. Flair put on the Figure Four now, and held onto the top rope. At about 34-35 minutes, Bret tapped out while Flair held onto the rope, and it was 1-1.

Flair keeps working on the leg, with some especially brutal stomps with the toe of his boot to Bret's knee on the mat. Flair put the Figure Four back on, now holding onto the bottom rope, and Bret again tapped out at 37 minutes to make it 2-1 for Flair.

Flair again worked the leg, and Bret made his comeback. This time, he sold the leg really well when making his comeback, holding the knee after almost everything. When Flair was in control, he was pretty blatantly killing time, in a logical and psychological way, going for pins after everything and covering multiple times to force Bret to waste energy and kill the clock. Bret made a pretty great comeback, managing to convey desperation and fatigue at once, as well as applying the earlier form of selling on his hurt leg. He hit the Superplex and then got on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 55 minutes to even the score back to 2-2.

Bobby Heenan ran back down behind the ref's back and handed Flair some kind of foreign object. The ref turned to see him, and sent him to the back again. Bret tried the Superplex again, but Flair hit him with the object and he fell off the top. Flair slowly got down and covered, but Bret kicked out. Flair kept doing stuff that he should not do as the challenger in a draw scenario with under 4 minutes left, but whatever. He tried the Figure Four, but Bret countered into an inside cradle to go up 3-2 with like 30 seconds left, so Bret retains.

Mostly really good. The opening 25% of matwork was really really good, and the arm control by Flair and leg control by Bret both ruled. Both eventually got ignored, especially by Flair, but then Flair's legwork actually led somewhere, so that kind of made up for it. Great undiscovered match, but it's held back from being a total classic by Flair's shitty knee selling and the weird last 5 minutes or so of Flair wrestling more like the champion in the match.

***3/4

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WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992


WWF Monday Night Raw
March 15th, 1993
Poughkeepsie, NY


There's a huge blizzard keeping a good chunk of the roster away, and Vince and Savage are at some awards benefit.

So instead, we get the super announce team of Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, and a fat guy pretending to be Vince McMahon. Clearly, one of the all time greatest announce teams is your back up.

Match #1: Razor Ramon vs. Russ Greenberg
Razor is a pretty awesome squasher, something that could have been more useful during those two weeks when he had a PPV main event to build up. He hurls around Greenberg, who continues to be a solid bumper, and Razor conveys a sense of recklessness with Greenberg's body very well. He obviously wins the match with the Razor's Edge.
*1/2

Match #2: Typhoon vs. L.A. Gore

This is not very good, although Typhoon abusing that fat continues to be hilarious to me for some reason. He almost killed the jobber on a Powerslam coming off the ropes, and then won with the Big Splash.
3/4*

Bobby Heenan is in the ring, and he brings out his guest for a special interview, Giant Gonzalez along with Harvey Whippleman. Heenan puts GG over as unstoppable and the man who laid out The Undertaker. Harvey says he told everyone going into the Rumble that he was going to drop a bomb on the WWF, and especially The Undertaker, and he did that. He says he hates that Giant Gonzalez hasn't had a shot to show how great he is because everyone in the WWF's running scared after what he did to The Undertaker. He says at WrestleMania IX, The Undertaker's going to be put in his own casket, and his big fat goofy sidekick Paul Bearer will be right next to him. Pretty amazing facial from Gonzalez here:

Posted Image

Heenan asks Giant Gonzalez what his plans are, and he says he has a giant surprise for The Undertaker at WrestleMania IX.

Heenan and Monsoon announce Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlung for WrestleMania IX.

Match #3: Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango
This had another fun opening with Backlund embarrassing a guy bigger than him and doing a ridiculous dance, but then Shango took over. Backlund's selling of the back was good, but then Shango went into an endless chinlock that he just kind of sat there in, without really doing anything. Backlund never got to make a real comeback either, as Shango kept cutting him off until Backlund got a quick inside cradle to win. Good Backlund performance.
**1/2

WRESTLEMANIA REPORT WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND! :
-Gene hypes up the world's largest toga party to be held at Mania, including he, Heenan, Gorilla, and Savage all to be in togas
-Clips air of Yokozuna killing a jobber post-match on Superstars and hitting another Bonzai Drop just because as Mr. Fuji yells at Ray Rogeau about respect
-In a pretape, Money Inc. cut a promo. They say they might think they've evened the odds by putting a mask on Brutus' weak face, but when they roll the dice at WrestleMania, it's going to come up snake eyes. IRS says they're having a special briefcase made for The MegaManiacs at WrestleMania IX.
-In another pretape, The Undertaker says that WrestleMania might be at Caesar's Palace, but as far as Giant Gonzalez is concerned, it's going to be his own personal graveyard, and he will REST....IN....PEACE!

Match #4: The Nasty Boys vs. The Headshrinkers w/ Afa
This was kind of fun in that "acceptable wrestling" way. Nothing great, but solid brawling. Fatu ruled especially, and Knobbs had a good hot tag. He foolishly tried to headbutt both Headshrinkers at the same time, leading to a big brawl. They went to the floor and up the ramp. They started using chairs and fighting in the concession stand, so the ref called it a double countout and gave up.
**1/2

NEXT WEEK: KAMALA VS. DOINK HOLY SHIT
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992'


WWF Monday Night Raw
March 22nd, 1993
New York, NY


This is the last regular Raw until WrestleMania IX.

Match #1: The Bushwhackers vs. Repo Man/Damien Demento
I have no idea what I did to deserve this. At all. This was REALLY fucking bad for 5 minutes, and the Bushwhackers won with the Battering Ram. Worst match of the year so far.
Green shit.

Match #2: Tatanka vs. Reno Riggins

Pretty fun squash. Riggins took good bumps all match, and had a really good punch in the corner. His chops looked like shit, but Tatanka obliterated him with his chops to punish him. Tatanka was solid and inoffensive as usual, and he made his comeback and won with the Samoan Drop.
*1/2

Clips air of the WWF Hall of Fame being announced, and the first inductee will be Andre The Giant.

Match #3: Money Inc. vs. Jeff Armstrong/Scott Rich
Not very good at all, due to really shitty jobbers in this match. Ted also looked like he wasn't trying at all, which sucked, and IRS pinned one of the jobbers with a Jumping Clothesline.
1/2*

WRESTLEMANIA IX REPORT WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND BY FUCK:

-Gene announces that next week on Superstars and Wrestling Challenge, the official contract signing between Bret Hart & Yokozuna will air
-Gene hypes up that Caesar's Palace is being turned into a Roman Coliseum for the show

Once again, Doink brings a present in a box out before his match.

Match #4: Doink The Clown vs. Kamala w/ Reverend Slick
This is good fun, due to Doink. He keeps taking Kamala down and busting out fun holds on the arm, and as Kamala fights back, a commercial cuts this off at the knees as it was getting good. Coming back, Doink and Kamala are on the floor and Donk gives Kamala the present. He slides back in as Kamala is entranced by it, and Kamala is counted out.
**

Kamala opens it up to reveal absolutely nothing inside, and he runs off Doink to end the show.
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I found the two appealing matches from the ROAD TO WRESTLEMANIA IX~ special on Dailymotion.

The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, WWF Road to WrestleMania IX (March 28th)
This takes a bit to get going, but when Bam Bam takes over, it gets good. He kills Taker with headbutts over and over on the mat, and Taker gradually stops sitting up as quickly each time. Taker makes a good comeback, but as soon as he hits the Chokeslam, Bam Bam bails to the back for a countout, and that was actually getting real good before it got kicked in the dick by the count out.
**1/2

Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Randy Savage, WWF March to WrestleMania IX (March 28th)

Hey, so this totally ruled. Classic big man vs. medium sized mang stuff here, and Yoko was brutal on offense. Really great job of abusing his weight, and Savage sold like death for Yoko while also making it clear that he's Yoko's biggest challenge yet by doing stuff like not going down to one headbutt like every other jobber around. Savage made a brief comeback by going to the air, but Fuji hit him on the top rope with the Japanese flag, and he fell off. Yoko picked him up and hit a great Side Belly to Belly to win.
***
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Bret Hart & Yokozuna: The Contract Signing, 3/27/1993

Mean Gene has a table set up in the ring, and PRESIDENT JACK TUNNEY!!!!!! is here to oversee the proceedings. Gene brings out Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji first, and then Bret Hart. They stare each other down before sitting on opposite ends, and they both sign. They exchange words, and Yokozuna shoves the table back into Bret. He splashes him in the corner, and hits the Bonzai Drop! Yokozuna backs off, and officials come out to hold him back. He waits and Bret slowly gets up. Yoko is kind of in shock, as Bret gets up across from him. He stumbles over, but collapses again at Yokozuna's feet. Yokozuna walks off, and children are upset as Bret is down in the ring.
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Top 10 Matches - March 1993:
1. Yokozuna vs. Randy Savage, WWF March to WrestleMania IX (March 28th)
2. Mr. Perfect vs. Rick Martel, Raw (March 8th)
3. Bret Hart vs. Fatu, Raw (March 1st)
4. The Undertaker vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, WWF Road to WrestleMania IX (March 28th)
5. The Nasty Boys vs. The Headshrinkers, Raw (March 15th)
6. Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango, Raw (March 15th)
7. Money Inc. vs. Tito Santana/Virgil, Raw (March 8th)
8. Bob Backlund vs. Tony Demoro, Raw (March 8th)
9. Doink The Clown vs. Kamala, Raw (March 22nd)
10. The Steiner Brothers vs. Duane Gill/Barry Hardy, Raw (March 1st)

Wrestler of the Month: Bob Backlund/Fatu (TIE)
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WWF Champion: Bret Hart, Since 10/12/1992 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Shawn Michaels, Since 10/27/1992
WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc., Since 10/13/1992



Posted Image

WWF WRESTLEMANIA IX
APRIL 4TH, 1993
CAESAR'S PALACE
LAS VEGAS, NV


AMAZING set here with all the Roman shit, and this is the debut of Jim Ross as well:

Posted Image

He's in a toga, and runs down the big "Double Main Event", although I doubt that anyone besides The MegaManiacs actually thought it was a real double main event.

In the ring. Howard Finkel FINKUS MAXIMUS presents the fake Caesar and Cleopatra to the crowd for the opening ceremonies, and they come out an an elephant. They get off at ringside, and walk around. This is clearly the real Caesar's Palace, although it is not pager friendly. Randy Savage is carried out and wimminz feed him grapes. JR asks where Heenan is, and Savage points to the entrance ramp. Bobby Heenan is led out on a camel, and is also backwards on the camel. He gets off at ringside, and JR says he smells like a camel, and Heenan is very upset.

Right before the bell rings for the opener, Sensational Sherri comes out after having been gone since the Rumble, and she stands in Tatanka's corner. Heenan says she's not aligned with Tatanka, but she'll be in his corner tonight to make sure Shawn "gets what he deserves".

Match #1: Shawn Michaels [c] w/ Luna Vachon vs. Tatanka w/ Sensational Sherri [WWF Intercontinental Championship]
Luna's making its debut here as Shawn's side. This was not awful, and generally okay without doing anything special at all. They had good back and forth to begin with a few miscommunications leading to botches, but then Tatanka took over on the arm. It wasn't bad or anything, but was pretty dry. Shawn caught him off the top with the Sweet Chin Music to take over, although the camera angle totally missed the actual contact, so it looked bad. Sherri keeps Luna from helping Shawn Michaels at all, and Shawn totally forgets his bad arm once he takes over, because selling on PPV is not allowed. The finishing run was good, and they fought on the floor. Shawn tripped the ref up when he slid in, on purpose, and he turned into Tatanka's Samoan Drop, but the ref had counted out Shawn, so he keeps the belt and Tatanka stays undefeated, although that's a weird fucking finish, since he kind of attacked the ref, but then weirdly lost by CO. This did NOT need 18 minutes at all. This didn't even need 10, but it would have been way better at under 10 minutes.
**1/4

Post-match, Shawn leaves with the belt as Tatanka celebrates. Luna clotheslines Sherri on the floor, slams her, and kicks the shit out of her before walking off too.

In the back, Mean Gene is standing by with the Steiners. Scott says it's their first WrestleMania, and it'll be one to be remembered. Rick says their opponents are unpredictable, but they've got a gameplan, and it's to wrestle, and they're going to make Julius Caesar proud.

Match #2: The Steiner Brothers vs. The Headshrinkers w/ Afa
This was pretty great. Brutal to begin with punches and headbutts and shit, and the Samoans had a great control segment on Scott. A lot of brutal cut-offs and offense, and Scott was pretty great on his comeback too. Fatu took some absolutely brutal bumps, as did Scott, and Rick got the big hot tag. He cleaned shit up big time, and Rick pretty much became a fucking god when he FUCKING COUNTERED A DOOMSDAY DEVICE INTO A POWERSLAM OFF OF SAMU'S SHOULDERS IN MID-AIR GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH! I seriously thought Second City Saints vs. Briscoes in April 2004 was when that was invented, and knowing they did that in 1993 further blows my mind and shows why the Steiners are amazing. Anyways, Scott gets back in and wins with the Frankensteiner. These two teams need to have a total sprint-style spotfest bomb throwing 15 minute match, because that would rule everything.
***

In the back, Gene is with Doink, who has desecrated the bust of Julius Caesar in amazing form:

Posted Image

Gene shows clips of Doink attacking Crush in January, and Doink says he's just bringing a sense of humor to the party. Gene says Crush may have the last laugh after tonight, and Doink says Crush may be experiencing double vision after tonight, and walks off laughing.

Match #3: Doink The Clown vs. Crush
This sucks a dick, largely due to Crush being on offense for 95% of this and being horrible at being mad and getting revenge. The ref goes down, and another Doink comes from under the ring with a prosthetic arm. He gives it to Real Doink, and holds Crush as Doink KO's him with the arm again. Fake Doink leaves, and Real Doink covers to win. I can't wait for Doink to fight someone good.
3/4*

In the cheap seats, MOTHERFUCKING TODD PETTENGIL is in the cheap seats with Japanese photographers.

Match #4: Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund
That opener gets 18 minutes, and that horrible sounding tag title match gets 18 as well, but this gets under 4 minutes. FUCK EVERYTHING. This was good. Good Razor punches, good Backlund selling, but then it just ends super abruptly when Razor gets an inside cradle to win. Fuck everything, this is not fair.
**

In the back, Gene is with Money Inc. and shows clips of them destroying Brutus Beefcake's face. Ted says it's time to stop crying about it and put up or shut up. He says unlike everyone else in Las Vegas, they don't make bets that they can't win. IRS says he heard Hogan got into an accident at the gym last night, and that's what money can do, and they're about to show the rest of what money can do.

Match #5: Money Inc. [c] vs. Hulk Hogan/Brutus Beefcake w/ Jimmy Hart [WWF Tag Team Championship]
At 18:27, this is the longest match on the show. The faces control early on, and it's shockingly not atrociously bad. Money Inc. tries to bail and Earl Hebner pulls a himself, and claims that they'll lose the belts on count out, which is the opposite of the actual rules of pro wrestling. Ted DiBiase FINALLY brings it in 1993 with his bumping around to almost make Brutus tolerable. Hogan gets the hot tag after the ref goes down, and uses Beefcake's mask that Ted had removed earlier. He KO's both men with it, and they make a double pin. Jimmy Hart overturns his jacket to reveal a striped one, which in Hogan logic, makes him a ref, so when he counts 3, they celebrate with the belts despite no bell at all. Referee Danny Davis comes down to rightfully DQ them for cheating, so Money Inc. retains. Not as awful as I thought it would be.
*3/4

Post-match, the MegaManiacs run off the champions and they threaten Danny Davis for being a good referee. Jimmy Hart throws him out to the floor, and this group of assholes poses in the ring. They open the briefcase that IRS left to reveal money, and a brick, and they give away the hard earned money. But they keep the brick, because Hulk Hogan is a selfish prick.

In the back, Gene is with Mr. Perfect. He talks about Luger bragging about being beyond perfection, but he carries around a mirror all the time, and says true perfection doesn't need everyone else to believe it, and he's going to go prove it.

Apparently at the WrestleMania brunch earlier in the day, Lex Luger KO'd Bret Hart with a forearm shot, and Savage questions how Luger's forearm is so powerful.

Match #6: Mr. Perfect vs. Lex Luger
Really awesome Perfect performance. Great chops and punches, pulled off all his athletic spots really well, and bumped around well. Luger was pretty awful though. He clearly tried to avoid impact on corner bumps and almost immediately got up after bumps, selling nothing. His actual selling was just him lying down motionless. But yeah, Luger got a backslide to win and Perfect's feet were on the ropes, but the ref missed it, so Luger won.
**1/2

Post-match, Luger KO's Perfect with his Running Forearm, and walks out. Perfect slowly comes to, and walks to the back, pissed off.

The camera follows him, and he finds Luger talking to Shawn Michaels in the back. He attacks Luger, and throws him down, but Shawn Michaels attacks from behind. He hits Perfect with a garbage can to the head, and keeps hitting him with it. He keeps stomping on Perfect, until officials come over to pull off Shawn Michaels.

Match #7: The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Giant Gonzalez w/ Harvey Whippleman
This match up is legendarily shitty, and with good reason. Really awful stuff here. Gonzalez seems afraid to put any weight behind offense, leading to everything he does looking super fake and awful. His chinlock is also terrible, and oh my God, do I seriously have to describe why this sucks? It's not like I'm debunking popular opinion and arguing against a random Shawn Michaels or Kurt Angle "epic" that people somehow worship, it's fucking Taker vs. Giant Gonzalez. Enough said. Gonzalez smothers Taker with a chloroform rag for a DQ win for Taker.
1/2*

Gonzalez keeps it up until Taker stops moving. Officials come down, and tend to a motionless Undertaker. Gonzalez starts taking out officials, and The Undertaker is stretchered out. Gonzalez refuses to leave, and Taker comes back out. He clotheslines him twice, and hits the Jumping Clothesline to knock Giant Gonzalez off his feet. He rolls out and leaves, and Taker poses in the ring.

In the back, Mean Gene hypes up the main event, and shows clips from Yokozuna killing Hacksaw Jim Duggan underneath the American flag. He then shows clips from the Yokozuna/Bret Hart contract signing with Yoko destroying Bret. Gene brings on Hulk Hogan and kind of flubs it by asking who the NEW Champion is going to be. He says he just talked to Bret Hart, and says all the Hulkamaniacs and Hulk Hogan are in his corner. He says that lately, people keep stepping over the line in regards to Brutus, him, and lately, everyone in Yoko's path. He tells Bret to watch Yoko and Fuji like a cat, and again says, everyone is on his side. He says he's issuing a challenge to either Bret or the Jap to face him for the title, but after seeing the look in Bret's eyes, he knows the title will stay in the US of A. Hogan clearly understands that his time is over, and if the business wants to keep growing, he and his generation has to step aside and let them shine, so him passing the torch to Bret is a really good idea.

Match #8: Bret Hart [c] vs. Yokozuna w/ Mr. Fuji [WWF Championship]
This was a lot of fun for 7-8 minutes. Bret takes it right to Yoko, and in doing such, kind of throws him off so he has more success than anyone else. Yoko of course does take over, and breaks out THE MOTHERFUCKING NERVE HOLD SHIT YEAH! Other than lacking a killer Belly to Belly, Yoko did all his cool big man offense here. Bret made an awesome comeback, and had on the Sharpshooter when Mr. Fuji threw salt in his eyes. He was blinded, and Yoko covered to win the belt!
**3/4

Hulk Hogan comes out to check on Bret and tries to explain to the ref what happened. Fuji gets on the mic and badmouths Hogan. He says his Yokozuna has challenged Hogan, but Hogan is checking on Bret. Fuji says he'll put up the belt right now, but Hogan helps Bret out to the floor. Bret tells Hogan to go for it, because clearly, Hogan would have declined if it wasn't okay with a man who somehow became his very good friend 15 minutes ago. Hogan gets in, and it's on.

Match #9: Yokozuna [c] w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Hulk Hogan [WWF Championship]
Hogan punches at Yoko, but he holds him. Fuji tries to throw salt again, but Hogan ducks and it blinds Yoko. He punches Fuji down, and knocks down Yokozuna with a simple clothesline. He then hits the Legdrop to win the title WHAT?! NO WAY!
I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Hogan celebrates, and him shitting on the previously unbeatable and barely moveable top heel while also kind of undercutting the top young babyface is so wildly out of character.

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