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Simon Watches WWF - 1985
Topic Started: Apr 9 2012, 05:50 PM (5,227 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

I am missing the 9/14 and 9/21 Championship Wrestling. Oh well.


Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Paul Roma, MSG (September 23rd)
Randy finally moves on to a jobber who actually has offense. Roma is shockingly not awful with basic jobber offense. Randy's stuff looks awesome again, and he wins with the Flying Elbow.
**

Andre The Giant w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. King Kong Bundy w/ Jimmy Hart, MSG (September 23rd)

This is the first time we get MAD ANDRE, which is fun. Better than Andre/Studd, and I am totally cool with Bundy taking Studd's place basically. They throw nice chops, AND KICKS?! ANDRE DOES A TRIANGLE CHOKE SORT OF. This isn't really great, but it's perversely entertaining to see Andre working holds. He also does what I can only call a Standing Anaconda Vice. Big John Studd comes out to attack for the DQ.
**

Andre gets a chair though, and he runs them both off.

The British Bulldogs vs. The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart, MSG (September 23rd)
This is the good shit, and the best match between these teams I've ever seen.. Lots of really fast exchanges early on from Bret and DK. Dynamite is faster than Bret and Davey is stronger than Anvil, so they cheat to take over. Lots of stuff behind the ref's back and illegal tags. And you know, usual awesome Hart Foundation control segment offense. This match is much more to my liking than other tags this year. Around 1985, WWF started operating the tags under this notion of "Heel in Peril". The heel spends more time being isolated in the first half than the babyface does in the second. I really don't like it. It CAN be good, but it's way too easy to fuck up. My style is much more in the classic Southern tag style, which has been adopted basically everywhere as the Formula Tag. This is the kind of Formula Tag that WWE TV started using a lot in the 2000s where you have a short heel control seg in the first half, then a good hot tag and a tease of a finishing run, before the heels then get a longer control seg. I'd say it's the Evolution Formula, but that's more what I remember it for than how it actually came about. Anyways, that's what goes on here. Davey has a good hot tag, but is hit with the Hart Attack after an illegal or fake tag. Dynamite comes off the top behind the ref's back with the Diving Headbutt. He rolls Davey out, and he gets the win.
***
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985

WWF Championship Wrestling
September 28th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY


Before the opening match, Tito Santana is rewarded with a new IC Title, the classic version of the belt.

Match #1: Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat/Pedro Morales vs. Moondog Spot/Tiger Chung Lee/Chuck Greenlee
Ricky and Tito worked most of this, so it was almost a great squash. Pedro then got in and was awful. Steamboat beats Chuck with the Flying Crossbody.
*3/4

WWF UPDATE:
-They go over the recent tag title switch
-Barry's eye is recovering, and Mike says they're coming back for the belts

Match #2: Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Jim Young
Vince says that Hart traded King Kong Bundy to Bobby Heenan in exchange for Adonis and Missing Link. Jimmy Hart, you fool. Still a good squash, and Adonis wins with a Flying Clothesline.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-JYD talks shit about Terry Funk

Match #3: The Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie vs. Sal Gee/Jose Luis Rivera
Sheiky actually gets time for a squash, which made this almost great. Volkoff is still not great. Sheiky baby wins with the Camel Clutch.
*3/4

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Stuff for an LA show that was not taped

Match #4: Paul Orndorff vs. Gino Carabello
Great Orndorff squash. Lots of brutal clotheslines and knees. He wins with the Piledriver.
**

It is time for Piper's Pit and Uncle Elmer comes on. He talks about his wedding on SNME (which is on 10/5, a week from now, and this is the first time it has been mentioned), and Piper asks why he would want to get married on TV, and if he's worried nobody will show up. Elmer says everyone will come to his, but nobody would come to Piper's. Piper just starts laughing and making fat jokes until it ends.

Match #5: Ivan Putski/Lanny Poffo vs. Joe Mirto/Mike Gola
Horrible. Way too much Ivan Putski.
3/4*
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Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Paul Orndorff/Bruno Sammartino, Philadelphia (September 28th)
Decent for a match that had Bruno in it. Piper did a great bumping around for the horrible piece of shit. When Paul is in, it's quite great, but he is not in nearly enough. They end up brawling on the floor, and Piper hits Bruno with a painfully weak chair shot. He rolls in, and since he's the legal man, his team wins by count out.
**1/2

They bail, and Orndorff throws shit at ringside.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
October 5th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Cousin Junior w/ Hillbilly Jim & Uncle Elmer vs. Gino Carabello

Horrible as usual.
1/4*

THE WRESTLING CLASSIC: NOVEMBER 7TH!

Match #2: King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan vs. SD Jones/Jim Powers
Decent squash, due to Bundy abusing the hell out of his weight. Avalanche and then a Big Splash beats SD.
*1/4

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Capt. Lou Albano has won Manager of the Year, and he thanks the fans.

Match #3: King Tonga vs. AJ Petruzzi
MOTHERFUCKING HAKU IS HERE TO WRECK ALL OF THE SHIT. He's not AS GREAT as a face, but I'm still terrified enough to say this was amazing. Lots of good headbutts and shit. He wins with a Flying Splash.
**

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Jimmy Hart says he's slowly building the best stable available. He says he's focusing on the Hart Foundation, The Missing Link, and Adrian Adonis right now, and he's also got Terry Funk now. He says he made the deal with Heenan because they are dear friends, and he hears Heenan has raised the bounty on Orndorff to $50,000. He says he gave him Bundy for the purpose of getting the bounty and to also get rid of Andre The Giant.

Match #4: The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Tony Garea/Sal Bellomo
Good stuff once again from a HF squash. Bret has the awesome precision strikes and Anvil throws motherfuckers around. Sal gets beat with the Hart Attack.
**

It is time for Piper's Pit, and his guest is Rick Derringer. He yells at him for wearing sunglasses indoors. He talks about Live AIDS, or whatever it's calling. He says he says he's doing an album with wrestlers singing on it, and Rick says he's excited for it. Rick looks like a child molester. Roddy asks when he's going to ask him to be on the album, and Rick says he can come in and try, and Roddy berates him and the show cuts off.

Match #5: The Missing Link w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Michael Saxon
Good Link squash.
*1/2

Match #6: The Dream Team [c] w/ Johnny Valiant vs. The British Bulldogs [WWF Tag Team Championship]

Good stuff for what was a 4 minute match that was more of an angle than a match. Some shockingly good Davey/Brutus matwork. No control seg from the heels, furthering the fact that this is only a preview. Dynamite goes up for the Headbutt, but Valiant pushes him off for a DQ.
**

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


Posted Image


WWF SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT
October 5th, 1985
East Rutherford, NJ


PROMOS:
-Nikolai says he will beat Hogan for the belt, bring it to Russia, and his flag will fly
-Hogan says he's here to fight that no good Russian and he won't let him wave that flag anymore
-The hillbillies talk about the wedding

Match #1: Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie [WWF Championship]
Decent enough, I suppose. Nikolai is hardly good, so this is helped by only being 5 minutes. They do stuff, and Hogan wins with the Legdrop.
**

Hogan waves the flag post-match, and tears up the USSR flag.

In the back, Gene interviews Hogan. He talks about believing in Hulkamania, dude, and says the USA will live forever just like Hulkamania. Gene talks about the wedding and Hogan says it's nice that they can mellow out a little bit after that match, and says he's heard Gene is playing the organ.

Match #2: Uncle Elmer w/ Hillbilly Jim & Cousin Junior vs. Jerry Valiant
Elmer wins in like 5 seconds.
poop/45

It is now time for The Body Shop, and Jesse's guest is Bobby Heenan! They talk about the bounty he's placed on Paul Orndorff's head, and Bobby says he's raised the bounty to $50,000. He says he'd love to give it to a member of the Heenan Family, but anybody is eligible to collect. He says Roddy Piper has a match with Orndorff tonight, and he'd be happy to give Piper the money if he can get it done.

Match #3: Roddy Piper vs. Paul Orndorff
Only 4-5 minutes, but still great. Tons and tons of energy, both from them and the crowd, which helped out. Usual awesome Piper bumps and frantic attacks from both men. They fell out to the floor after Orndorff tackled him through the ropes, and brawled to the back, resulting in a double count-out.
**1/2

The camera follows them as they fight in the back. Piper gets into his locker room and locks the door to keep Orndorff out.

Uncle Elmer's Wedding happens. Jesse constantly shits on Elmer's inability to pronounce words right. When asked if anyone objects, Roddy Piper comes back out and says there is no room for romance in wrestling. He has his shirt back on and looks totally calm now, so this obviously should have happened before his match. They ignore him and get married.

In the back, Gene interviews Heenan, Bundy, and Studd. Studd says he cut Andre's hair and cannot be slammed, and Bundy says they're the two top giants of wrestling and they're going to run Andre off for the third and final time.

Clips air of the attack on Andre by Bundy and Studd from Toronto on 8/18.

Match #4: Andre The Giant/Tony Atlas vs. King Kong Bundy/John Studd
Albano and Heenan are both there. Thankfully, this only gets 4 minutes or so. I enjoyed Bundy here, and there wasn't enough time for this to truly become awful. The Heenan Family is DQ'd after they refuse to stop double teaming Andre.
*1/4

They get rid of Atlas, but Hulk Hogan comes out to make the save for Andre! They clear the ring.

A vignette airs of Mean Gene with George "The Animal" Steele at the zoo. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VbIFuVtkY0

Match #5: The Dream Team w/ Johnny Valiant vs. Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo
Good stuff. The jobbers had some nice pieces of offense, and Valentine and Beefcake both looked good on offense. Valentine made Garea tap out to the Figure Four.
**

NEXT MONTH AT SNME: HOGAN/ANDRE VS. BUNDY/STUDD

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985

WWF Championship Wrestling
October 12th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: The Junkyard Dog/Pedro Morales vs. Jerry Adams/Mike Donnatello

Hey, this is all kinds of awful. Faces win.
Fart.

WWF UPDATE:
-Randy Savage says he's entering The Wrestling Classic, and plugs a giveway for a Rolls Royce

Match #2: Don Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Jose Luis Rivera
Good stuff! Tombstone ends it.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Randy Savage comes in and says Hulk Hogan and Tito Santana ask themselves every night how much longer they have to keep their belts, and they're shivering under their covers at night out of fear of the Macho Man. He says it's going to happen and the WWF must sign the match, and he walks off.

Match #3: The Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie vs. Tony Garea/Red Walsh
Acceptable stuff. More of a focus on Nikolai which meant it was not as good. Russian Backbreaker does the deal.
*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Ricky Steamboat says this has turned into a war and says Don Muraco abuses his skills to hurt people, and he uses them only to win. He says Mr. Fuji is a cancer in Muraco, and music plays him out. Fuck you, music.

Match #4: King Kong Bundy w/ Bobby Heenan & Big John Studd vs. Darryl Bowlin
Good long Bundy squash. He gets to really abuse his weight, and he wins with the Avalanche and an elbow drop.
*3/4

It is time for Piper's Pit, and he has Capt. Lou Albano there. Piper asks him about managing Andre The Giant, and asks how horrible a manager he is if he let Bundy put Andre out again. Albano says it took three men to hurt him and Andre is back at 150%, and Andre comes on! Piper sucks up to Andre again, and says Bundy and Studd will pay his way.

Match #5: Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Jimmy Jackson
Decent showcase for AA. He wins with a Flying Knee Drop. Bruno won't stop talking about Adrian's briefcase.
*1/2

BUY WRESTLEMANIA ON VHS!

A video airs, recapping the events of SNME.

Match #6: The US Express w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. Ron Shaw/Mr. X
WHEN IT COMES CRASHING DOWN, IT HURTS INSIDE! FUCK YEAH "REAL AMERICAN"! They do things and it's not bad or anything, but yeah, whatever. This team has run its course. Bulldog ends it.
*1/2

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The Dream Team [c] vs. The British Bulldogs [WWF Tag Team Championship], Boston (October 12th)
This is mostly very good. Good stalling early on and then the Bulldogs' control was great. This is obviously backwards as Dynamite influenced him, but watching Dynamite is really like watching a slightly worse Chris Benoit. Like one who didn't fully get selling, but still had all the nice realism stuff down. Not like a really shitty clone like Davey Richards who clearly doesn't get selling or realism at all and thinks intensity is all it takes. Actually in that case, he emulates singles Dynamite Kid really well. In the Bulldogs, Greg finally has some guys who he can really throw down with again, even more brutally than he did with Tito. The only thing the Dream Team has on the Bulldogs is Greg's elbows and Brutus' slight power advantage, so the Bulldogs work the arms when they can, but then DK is isolated. Good quality control seg. Good cut-offs as well. Valentine has a hell of a Cravat. Davey's hot tag left something to be desired though. They do the Rocket Launcher Headbutt, but the ref is distracted with Davey and Greg fighting. He gets Davey back to the corner and Greg drops a nasty looking elbow to DK's head and rolls Brutus on top to win.
**3/4

Post-match, The Bulldogs attack them, and they steal one of the title belts before Brutus grabs the other one, and the champions bail.

Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [WWF Championship], Toronto (October 13th)
About time Savage gets a real match, and this is hands down Hogan's best defense since the bloodbath vs. Sheik in May 1984. Not better than it, as it's not quite great, but I have faith these two will get there. Lots of awesome stalling by Savage and yeah. There's a few exchanges in this that really remind me of Cena/Punk's stuff in early 2011. That's again probably a backwards way of looking at it, but this is mostly brand new to me. This goal of this is basically getting Savage over as a piece of shit for repeatedly using Liz as a shield. They have some solid matwork when they do get down to business. Savage's control seg is great. Hogan catches Savage coming off for the Flying Elbow with a boot to the jaw for the pin.
**3/4

Savage attacks post-match, but Hogan runs him off.

Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Big John Studd [WWF Championship], Puerto Rico (October 19th)
This isn't really good at all, it's Hogan/Studd, but it is very interesting. They work their usual inoffensive but nothing special kind of match, and then it starts to rain heavily. Like absolutely downpour. And since that Benoit/MVP match on a house show where it rained wasn't taped, this is the best we'll do for that kind of a visual. They can't run on the mat or anything due to how wet is is, so they improvise going to the floor. Hogan shoves Studd into the post and gets in to win by count out.
*3/4

Tito Santana [c] vs. Randy Savage [WWF Intercontinental Championship], Puerto Rico (October 19th)

The rain has mostly slowed down, but it is still happening, and they do the best they can. It's only 8 minutes, but it's still Tito vs. Savage, so it's at least good. Due to the wet mat, they work a lot slower of a pace. Really old school stuff teasing Randy having a loaded knee pad. He pulls the foreign object out and hits Tito with it to control for a bit. Savage goes for a slam, but Tito gets a cradle to win.
**1/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
October 19th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Hillbilly Jim w/ Uncle Elmer & Cousin Junior vs. Steve Lombardi

DON'T GO MESSING WITH A COUNTRY BOY! FUCK YEAH, THAT SONG! That is the best part of this. Jim wins with the Bear Hug.
3/4*

WWF UPDATE:
-Plug for the Wrestling Album

Match #2: The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart vs. SD Jones/Jose Luis Rivera
Great Hart Foundation squash, as always. Hart Attack beats Jose.
**

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Hogan talks about saying prayers and eating vitamins, and he talks about being a role model and having to deal with all the contenders like Randy Savage and Terry Funk and King Kong Bundy

Match #3: Wendi Richter [c] vs. Judy Martin w/ The Fabulous Moolah [WWF Womens Championship]
DON'T CARE.

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Orton comes in and Gene asks about his cast. He says he's going to leave it on until Orndorff agrees to face him in a match, and then he'll break the cast and his arm over Orndorff's head, and $50,000 should deal with the hospital bill and then his arm will be great.

Match #4: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ron Shaw
Good Steamboat showcase. More based on arm stuff and less on karate and strikes, so it is not quite great. He wins with the Crossbody.
*1/2

It is time for Piper's Pit, and Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji are there. Piper says Muraco is the most lethal wrestler he's ever seen, and Mr. Fuji is the greatest manager there is too. Piper says he just saw Steamboat, and he apologizes on behalf of the WWF for allowing Steamboat to do all those illegal karate moves, especially to Muraco. Don agrees and says that's why Roddy is a genius. Muraco says Mr. Fuji knows all the martial arts, and Fuji challenges Steamboat to a karate showdown and he will show who is the true master.

Match #5: Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Mario Mancini
Savage debuts "Pomp and Circumstance" as a theme, and there's gotta be an argument for that as the best theme of all time. This is only 70 seconds, but Savage does the best he can with that. Flying Elbow gets the win.
*1/2

Match #6: The British Bulldogs vs. Joe Murto/AJ Petruzzi

This gets like 4 minutes. Not fair, Savage could have used some of that time. Still though, the Bulldogs are the Steiners of their time, finding new and more violent ways to terrorize jobbers. And it is awesome to watch. They win with the Rocket Launcher Headbutt.
**

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
October 26th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY


Lost it due to awful.

10/26/85 - included Rick McGraw as a guest of the Piper's Pit which led to a match between the two scheduled for the following week after McGraw questioned why Piper never wrestled on TV, then slapped him before leaving the set:

Cousin Junior & Uncle Elmer (w/ Hillbilly Jim) defeated Mr. X & John Rizzo at 2:13 when Junior pinned Rizzo with a sit-down splash

Ron Dee defeated Terry Funk (w/ Jimmy Hart) via reverse decision after Funk branded his opponent after the bout; Funk originally won the match at 1:50 following an elbow drop

David Sammartino & WWF IC Champion Tito Santana defeated Moondog Spot & Dave Barbie at 3:02 when Sammartino pinned Barbie with a powerslam

WWF Tag Team Champions Brutus Beefcake & Greg Valentine defeated Paul Roma & Scott McGhee

King Tonga pinned Rusty Brooks at 2:20 with a flying bodypress
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
November 2nd, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Ricky Steamboat/King Tonga/The Junkyard Dog vs. Jim Haley/Mr. X/Rusty Brooks

Fucking Ricky Steamboat and Haku allow JYD to cheat more points once again. Son of a bitch. Tonga hits an awesome Superkick and a Jumping Headbutt to win.
*1/2

WWF UPDATE:
-Lord Al hypes up The Wrestling Classic on November 7th
-Still no actual card, but it's finally announced that it will be a 16 man tournament
-Hogan will defend the title, but against who? Probably nobody special.
-I mean, if he was fighting his biggest rival and the top heel in the company, they'd be sure to announce that or something, right?

Match #2: Don Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Rick Hunter
Typical Don stuff. Tombstone does it.
*1/4

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-OH GODDAMNIT, BRUNO CUTS A PROMO ON BEING IN A LIVE PIPER'S PIT
-NOPE

Match #3: Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Jerry Adams/Terry Gibbs
Ugh, Tito has to carry this sack of shit again. I hate the WWF's fascination with teaming the worst babyface wrestlers on the card with the best ones. Thankfully, it's mostly Tito, and he wins with the Flying Forearm.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Gene shills the PPV but refuses to say any actual matches
-Don Muraco says he will win

Match #4: Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Jim Powers
Savage again gets under 90 seconds, but does the best he can. Flying Elbow does it.
*1/2

It is time for Piper's Pit and Jesse Ventura is there. Piper calls him the best commentator ever. They shit on Uncle Elmer's wedding on SNME, and he has a live Piper's Pit on SNME tonight with all the Hillbillies. I can't say it's a bad promoting job done by the WWF, because it's arguably their most successful period ever, but I'm amazed they do all this without announcing SNME at all before now or a card for the PPV.

Match #5: The Killer Bees vs. Joe Murto/Steve Lombardi
Decent enough. This is more Blair than Brunzell, so it's their best squash yet, at least since they donned the horrible gear, which just makes me fucking hate them. With the exception of dudes I already like wearing baby blue gear and me loving them even more, I rarely ever react this much to a simple change of gear. Blair wins with a Flying Sunset Flip.
*3/4

An ad for PWI magazine is in here.

Match #6: Roddy Piper vs. Rick McGraw
This is great! Piper sells big for McGraw, and then all his brawling and out of control offense looks awesome. Piper hits a series of Neckbreakers and DDTS, long after McGraw has stopped being a threat, and the referee throws the match out, and Piper wins by ref stoppage.
**

McGraw is stretchered out.

McGraw actually died on November 1st, and this is his final aired match. After searching on wiki, cause of death is a heart attack as a result of a severe drug problem, making him the first guy to do that in modern WWF/E history. So technically, Roddy Piper killed a man.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


Posted Image


WWF SATURDAY NIGHT'S MAIN EVENT
NOVEMBER 2ND, 1985
HERSHEY, PA


TONIGHT: Hogan/Andre vs. Bundy/Studd, Tito vs. Savage for the IC Title

PRETAPES:

-Heenan says Hogan and Andre can never co-exist for long and it's why they stay away, and if he has to do it himself, he'll drive a wedge between them. HO. LY. SHIT. That is the 2nd greatest foreshadowing in WWE history, right after Jericho saying in 2003 that he will never be the best in the world at what he does until he beats Shawn Michaels.
-Hogan says he'll make sure it's a fair fight, dude
-Piper and Jesse talk about how awful the wedding was
-Terry Funk says he's going to brand his first dog tonight, and says after that, he's coming for Hogan's hide

Match #1: Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs. The Junkyard Dog
Solid 5 minutes. Terry is Terry again. Lots of great stooging and bumping around to make JYD not look like the worthless sack of shit that he is. Funk hits JYD with the Megaphone to win.
**

They try to brand JYD, but he fights back. He gets the iron and knocks Funk to the floor. He then pulls Hart's pants down and brands him.

In the back, there is a pie eating contest as Round 1 of a Halloween Contest between heels and faces. Albano beats King Kong Bundy in the pie eating contest, and I now must cap the greatest Halloween costumes in WWF/E history:

Posted Image

It is time for Piper's Pit, and The Hillbillies are on as guests. They call in Ventura to defend his comments too, and they beg off, but Piper and Orton do a schoolyard trip on Elmer! The Hillbillies then run off all the heels. Meh.

In the back, Bobby Heenan and Cousin Junior have a pumpkin bobbing contest, and Heenan wins.

Match #2: Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd
Albano and Heenan are both there. At commentary, Jesse asks for him/Piper/Orton vs. the Hillbillies at the next SNME. Oh my god, no. Please no. This was uh, yeah. Not good. The heels get DQ'd for double teaming Andre.
*1/2

Hogan and Andre clear the ring and celebrate.

They air "Land of 1000 Dances" for the first time.

In the back, Gene interviews Savage and Elizabeth. She says she wanted to help Randy, and Randy says he's ready, able, and willing to take the title, and he'll do just that.

Match #3: Tito Santana [c] vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [WWF Intercontinental Championship]
This is only 4 minutes, but it is pretty great. They go right into an awesome Savage control segment, and then Tito has an awesome comeback. Really beautiful Savage bumping, and they end up going to a double count out. This was a great preview, and I cannot wait for a real match of theirs to happen.
**1/2

In a pretape, Roddy Piper shows people how to rig up special treats for trick or treaters, like a falling bowling ball, rocks shaped like chocolate covered things, etc. Vince is appalled and says it's about giving kids candy. Roddy says in Scotland, they care about the trick part, and they have so many less uptight restrictions. In fact, there is only one known law in Scotland, as people on this site are certainly aware. EAT. FUCK. KILL.

Match #4: Ricky Steamboat vs. Mr. Fuji w/ Don Muraco [Kung Fu Challenge]
This is basically all Steamboat, and he wins with a Missile Dropkick. Not sure how that's kung fu, but okay.
*1/2

Muraco attacks Ricky post-match, and hits the Tombstone.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


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WWF THE WRESTLING CLASSIC
NOVEMBER 7TH, 1985
CHICAGO, IL

Match #1: Corp. Kirschner vs. Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart [1st Round]

Decent 2-3 minutes. I am going to write that a lot on this show. Adonis wins with a DDT.
*1/2

In the back, Gene is with Adonis and Hart and Hart dubs him The Adorable One. Adonis says he wrote the book on wrestling and he's going to rewrite it tonight.

Match #2: The Dynamite Kid vs. Nikolai Volkoff [1st Round]
As Nikolai sings, Dynamite goes up top, and he hits a Missile Dropkick to win in about 6 seconds.
Pooping Fart

In the back, Gene is with Savage and Liz. He says he's hyper and ready and nervous and he knows how much this means. He says he's in the best condition in the WWF. He says Ivan is strong, but he's quick as a cat, and Gene cuts him off.

Match #3: Ivan Putski vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [1st Round]
Decent sub-3 minute match. Savage carryjob. Big bumping, then awesome looking offense. He wins with a schoolboy using the ropes.
*3/4

In the back, Vince and Lord Alfred Hayes look at the bracket without actually revealing any more matches, and then Nikolai comes over and rants that he was robbed.

Match #4: Ricky Steamboat vs. Davey Boy Smith [1st Round]
Fuck, this could have been AWESOME. Nope. Only 3 minutes. Fuck this show. Lots of good and tight basic pro wrestling. Davey accidentally crotches himself up top, and the ref gives it to Ricky since Davey cannot continue. Pussy.
**

Horrible JYD promo. He tries to hype up the amazing Bears season, but he merely says "And the Chicago are playing great this season". Awesome work.

Match #5: The Junkyard Dog vs. The Iron Sheik [1st Round]
This blew and JYD beat the Sheiky baby. :(
3/4*

In the back, Terry Funk yells about getting the bounty on Paul Orndorff tonight. Cool, Funk/Paul could be a lot of fun.

Match #6: Moondog Spot vs. Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart [1st Round]
Except it doesn't happen. Why even do that promo then? They fight on the floor and Funk rolls Spot in at 9, and doesn't make it in by 10, so Spot wins.
ALL THE BULLSHIT.

Match #7: Tito Santana vs. Don Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji [1st Round]

HEY, 4 MINUTES! NICE! Mostly a slugfest, but it is all good looking. Tito wins with a cradle.
**

In the back, Gene is with Heenan. He says he's always scouting and he's interested in who wins this tournament.

Match #8: Paul Orndorff vs. Bob Orton [1st Round]
SIX MINUTES! FUCK YEAH! Lots of amazing Orton bumping and selling. Great control seg too, and Paul had a really good comeback. Not quite great due to somewhat of an abrupt finish, but whatever. Orton ends up blatantly using the cast for a DQ.
**1/2

In the back, Vince and Al finally reveal the actual bracket:

-Dynamite Kid vs. Adrian Adonis
-Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat
-The Junkyard Dog vs. Moondog Spot
-Tito Santana vs. Paul Orndorff

Match #9: The Dynamite Kid vs. Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart [Quarterfinals]
This got 5 minutes, so it was quality work. Lots of good execution and bumping. Adonis accidentally runs into Hart on the apron and Dynamite rolls him up to win.
**1/4

Match #10: Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [Quarterfinals]

Very good 3 minutes. Fuck that, for 3 minutes, it's fucking great. Tons of crazy Savage bumping and all Ricky's stuff looked incredible. Steamboat goes for a Suplex, and Savage hits him with a foreign object in mid-air for the win.
**1/4

In the back, Gene tries to interview Moondog spot, but he tries to hit Gene with his bone and runs off.

Match #11: The Junkyard Dog vs. Moondog Spot [Quarterfinals]
JYD wins in 25 seconds.
ASS THUMP

In the back, Gene is with Heenan and he predicts a new WWF Champion tonight.

Match #12: Tito Santana vs. Paul Orndorff [Quarterfinals]
8 MINUTES! HOLY SHIT! This is probably the best match of the show. Some really solid matwork. Tito has his leg taped up, and Paul eventually goes for it. Great Tito selling as usual. It turns into quite a big fight at the end, and they get counted out for fighting on the floor.
**3/4

Both men are gone, so JYD gets a bye to the finals against the winner of Savage/DK. Wait, what? That's all messed up.

Match #13: Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Roddy Piper [WWF Championship]
This was not nearly as good as their February match. Much more average with less awesome chaotic bits. Ref bump happens. Piper brings a chair in, but Hogan grabs it and hits him several times with it. What a dick. He puts on a Sleeper as the ref gets up, and Bob Orton comes out to attack for the DQ.
**1/4

It is a 2 on 1, but Paul Orndorff runs out to make the save. They then pose.

Match #14: The Dynamite Kid vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [Semi-Finals]
This is also really great, but at just under 5 minutes, there's only so much they can do. Dynamite hits a Superplex, and they do the best looking version of this horrible finish where Savage counters with a cradle to win. Dynamite tries to float over, but Savage stays almost totally still except for grabbing DK's legs to get a cradle to win.
**1/2

They kill time with awarding the Rolls to someone.

Match #15: The Junkyard Dog vs. Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth [Finals]
This is almost 10 minutes! Savage again does the best he can to carry this sack of shit. Pretty great control seg, and then he bumped big for all the thumping. He gets counted out after JYD drops him out to the floor, so fucking JYD wins the motherfucking tournament.
**1/4




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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

The Hart Foundation vs. The British Bulldogs, Pittsburgh (November 8th)
Monsoon says the Bulldogs are now managed by Albano. Really great faced paced stuff early on with the Bulldogs and Bret, and then the control segments were super awesome. Lots of really brutal and nasty looking offense from Bret and Anvil. Very very awesome finishing run and hot tag. Lots of nearfalls, shockingly. Dynamite hits Bret with a Superplex, but it's 1985, so that knocks them both out. Anvil rolls Bret on top and gets rid of Davey, so the Harts win.
***

Ricky Steamboat vs. Don Muraco, Boston (November 9th)

Good stuff. Not quite great, but probably their best match together. Lots of anger and hate and yeah. Ricky grabs Fuji's cane when he gets it. The ref takes it from Ricky, and Ricky shoves him down, so that's a DQ.
**3/4

Muraco and fuji bail.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
November 9th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Hillbilly Jim/Uncle Elmer vs. Darryl Bowlin/Joe Mirto

No.

WWF UPDATE:
-They just air "Land of 1000 Dances" again

Match #2: Big John Studd w/ Bobby Heenan & King Kong Bundy vs. Sal Gee
Overly long Studd squash.
1/2*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-JYD tries to say words

Match #3: The British Bulldogs w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. Mr. X/The Menace
Great Bulldogs squash. Dynamite beats Menace with the Superplex.
**

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Steamboat says Muraco has gotten away with far too much, making fun of him, beating him down, attacking him from behind, and he's going to breath fire down upon him in return

Match #4: Paul Orndorff vs. The Gladiator
Unfortunately, this is not Orndorff vs. Mike Awesome. Piledriver ends it.
*1/2

It is time for Piper's Pit, and he brings on the Junkyard Dog. Oh god, please don't feud, please don't feud. Piper asks who the girl is that "Grab Dem Cakes" is about, and JYD says he's talking to her now and points at Roddy. Wait, what? Piper is mad and walks off.

Match #5: The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Jimmy Jackson & Steve Gatorwolf
Yet another great HF squash. Bret beats Jimmy with the Hart Attack.
**

Hulk Hogan comes out for a squash, but then Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth come out. Savage tells Liz to say something, and she asks why Hogan doesn't wrestle anybody with any credentials. The fat jobber then attacks Hogan.

Match #6: Hulk Hogan vs. Rusty Brooks
Hogan disposes of him in about 30 seconds with the Legdrop.
Wasn't ready, brother

Randy Savage attacks Hogan from behind, but Hogan fights him off, and Randy bails. :(



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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
November 23rd, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Junior vs. AJ Petruzzi/Mr. X

Vince sings along to the song on commentary, and clearly just fucking LOVES this act. Bear Hug ends it.
1/2*

WWF UPDATE:
-Lord Al interviews the guy who won the Rolls. Looks like a child molester.

Match #2: Don Muraco w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Mike Saxon
Good squash as always. Tombstone does the deal.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Roddy Piper says Boston is the most ignorant city he's ever been to. He says Bruno might have written the book, but he wrote the revised edition, and Bruno is an idiot to challenge a Legend Killer like him.

Match #3: The Dream Team w/ Johnny Valiant vs. Sal Gee/Rick Hunter
Solid squash for the tag champions. Valentine beats Sal with the Figure Four.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Randy Savage comes on and says people call Ricky "The Dragon", and that he spits fire. He tells Ricky to spit that fire and get ready to go against the greatest of all time. He says not to be discouraged when he gets beaten on December 7th by the Macho Man, because nobody has a chance. He says he has a better chance of fitting through the eye of a needle than he does of beating the Macho Man, yeah.

Match #4: Paul Orndorff vs. The Menace
Another decent Orndorff squash, and Orndorff has a cast of his own on his forearm.
*1/2

Paul gets on the mic and says his arm is just as broke as Ace's is.

BUY THE WWF MAGAZINE

Match #5: Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Gary Starr
Typically violent Funk squash. Nasty punches and chops. SLEEPER HOLD gets the win.
**
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
November 30th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Ricky Steamboat/King Tonga vs. Barry O/Joe Mirto

Good stuff. Not long enough to be great, but lots of good offense. Steamboat beats Mirto with a Flying Crossbody.
*3/4

WWF UPDATE:
-Clips air of JYD vs. Savage

Match #2: Hercules Hernandez w/ Freddie Blassie vs. Mario Mancini
Herc looks only moderately trained and he wins with a bad looking Torture Rack.
3/4*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Albano hypes up the Bulldogs

Match #3: Corp. Kirscher/Lanny Poffo vs. Steve Lombardi/Gino Carabello
Poffo never gets in, and Corp. was fine enough. He wins with a Fallaway Slam.
*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Terry Funk says he was middle aged and crazy, but his reputation was destroyed on national TV when his manager got pantsed by that dog. He says he beat the Dog, but all anyone can talk about is that branding. Jimmy says he's going to punch JYD right in the nose after Terry beats him.

Match #4: Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Tony Garea
Awesome 90 second Savage squash. Flying Elbow does the deal.
*3/4

It is now time for Piper's Pit, and Piper brings out the guest, Ted Arcidi, a powerlifting guy. He and Piper are friends and Piper talks up the size of his arms.

Match #5: King Kong Bundy w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Jim Young/Gary Starr
Fun handicap squash. Double Avalanche and elbow drop ends it.
*1/2

Clips air from Hulk Hogan's Rock n' Wrestling.

Match #6: The British Bulldogs w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. Rusty Brooks/MR. X
X is beat in about 30 seconds with the Running Powerslam and a Diving Headbutt.
Lighting a homeless man on fire outside of a Tokyo McDonalds
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
December 7th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Steve Lombardi/The Gladiator

Tito continues to carry this sack of shit. Pedro gets in at the end to win with his Backbreaker.
*1/2

WWF UPDATE:
-Clips air of The Killer Bees

Match #2: David Sammartino vs. Gino Carabello
Still horrible. Peak of this is Bruno saying "David's a great young kid, and I'm really starting to like him." Bruno hating his kid is fantastic.
1/30000*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Bruno says words against Piper

Match #3: The Hart Foundation w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Scott McGhee/Jim Powers
Unlike the Bulldogs' last squash, this actually gets time. Some 2-3 minutes to really put on a great beating. Awesome strikes by Bret, throws by Anvil. The Hart Attack beats Jim Powers.
**

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Tito says he's fighting Jesse Ventura. That sounds awful, to be honest. Tito says Jesse is a backstabber

Match #4: Paul Orndorff/Danny Spivey vs. Rusty Brooks/Terry Gibbs
Hey, Spivey! Nice! Paul hits Brooks with his cast for the win. Why is he allowed to wear that after outright admitting his arm is not hurt?
*1/4

Paul tries to go to the Piper's Pit set, but Roddy brings on his guests, The Hart Foundation, The Dream Team, and Hercules Hernandez. Paul says it's coming, and he leaves. Piper says these men don't need casts on their arms to win, and Herc says he likes to hurt tough guys.

Match #5: George Steele w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. Joe Mirto
Enjoyable Animal squash. Flying Hammerlock gets the win. He then eats the turnbuckle pad.
*1/4

Clips air from the Hogan cartoon, with them hunting ghosts to the Ghostbusters theme.

Match #5: Ricky Steamboat/King Tonga vs. Ron Shaw/The Menace
There's a happy medium for squash matches. Usually about 3 minutes. Below that is no good, with some exceptions, and over that gets to be too long. This is like 6 minutes, so it gets very old by the end. Steamboat beats the Menace with a Crossbody.
*1/2
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Ricky Steamboat, Boston (December 7th)
This is about 11 minutes, and the kind of a first match you would expect from them, without a title on the line or a personal issue here. Ricky has his typical awesome work on the arm of Savage, and Randy actually sells it after the transition to offense. This is also sort of a victim of that "heel in peril" trope in 1980s WWF that makes almost no sense, but they make it work well. Steamboat tries to bring Randy in with a Back Suplex from the apron, but he gets him with brass knucks to the head and then falls on top to win.
***

Hulk Hogan [c] vs. Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart [WWF Championship], Philadelphia (December 7th)

An actual great Hogan title defense! Not a big serious brawl, but Funk does a ton of amazing comedy stooging spots. Funk takes over, and has an awesome little run of offense. Nasty punches and knees, and Hogan sells well enough. Funk then starts doing the secret choking with wrist tape deal, which I love so much. Hogan makes an awesome comeback, and intercepts the cowbell from Hart, and he hits Funk with it to win.
***
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
December 14th, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: The Junkyard Dog/George Steele w/ Capt. Lou Albano vs. Steve Lombardi/Dave Barbie

Way way too much JYD here.
1/4*

Match #2: Adrian Adonis w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Mike Saxon

Good Adonis squash. He wins with the DDT.
*1/2

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Bruno is mad that Piper called him a stupid wop and it is now Bruno/Orndorff vs. Piper/Ace

They play "Land of 1000 Dances" again.

Match #3: Corp. Kirscher/Scott McGhee vs. Mr. X/The Gladiator
Weird match. Only about a minute and Corp beats X with a Samoan Drop.
3/4*

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Lanny Poffo comes in and Gene calls him the poet of the WWF. He reads a poem mocking Bobby's lisp.

Match #4: The Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie vs. Mr. Wrestling II/Ted Griple
Good squash. Mostly Sheik throws and then making them humble with the Camel Clutch.
*1/2

It is time for Piper's Pit, and Hillbilly Jim comes on as the guest and Piper talks really slow. Piper says he's going to fight him soon and asks how he's feeling about that. Jim says it'll be a pleasure and he's looking forward to it. Piper asks how ashamed he was of his uncle at the wedding, and Jim says he loves his uncle. They set him up for a schoolyard trip, but then it cuts out. What the fuck? Why?

BUY THE WRESTLING ALBUM.

Match #5: The Killer Bees vs. Moondog Spot/John Rizzo
This is more Brunzell than Blair, so it is not one of their better squashes. Jim hits a clothesline and Blair follows with a Flying Elbow from the middle to win.
*1/2
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWF Champion: Hulk Hogan, Since 1/23/1984 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWF Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana, Since 7/6/1985
WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dream Team, Since 8/24/1985


WWF Championship Wrestling
December 21st, 1985
Poughkeepsie, NY

Match #1: Ricky Steamboat/King Tonga vs. Terry Gibbs/Butcher Vachon

Very fun squash. Steamboat beats Vachon with the Crossbody.
*3/4

WWF UPDATE:
-Recap of Albano becoming the Bulldogs' manager

Match #2: Terry Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Greg Eberhart
Another awesome Funk squash. Sleeper Hold does the job.
**

Funk brand the jobber post-match.

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Adrian Adonis has now dyed his hair all blond, and he talks about how adorable he is

Match #3: The Dream Team w/ Johnny Valiant vs. Lanny Poffo/Jim Powers
Only a minute, but still had some solid Valentine stuff. Beefcake beats Poffo with the High Knee.
*1/4

GENE INTERVIEWS:
-Bruno tries to say words

Match #4: Randy Savage w/ Miss Elizabeth vs. Gary Starr
What the fuck? This was only 30 seconds. That's hardly fair. Flying Elbow ends the match.
1/2*

It is time for Piper's Pit, and he has a doctor named Dr. Threwball. He asks how long it should take Bob to heal from his fracture. The doctor says it's only about four weeks after the initial incident. Piper says he's had the cast for 9 months, and it's really bad. The doc says it's not possible to have a 9 month fracture, and Piper says the doctor says it is. The doctor says it shouldn't take more than six weeks to heal, and Piper says he's glad the doctor agrees with him that the cast can stay on Ace's arm indefinitely.

Match #5: Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Junior vs. Mr. X/Joe Mirto
Same stuff as usual. Not much of note here.
1/2*
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