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Simon Watches CZW - 2005
Topic Started: May 4 2012, 04:02 PM (2,498 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Ford challenged me to do this when a pack popped up with 2005-2011. I foolishly accepted the challenge, but I will actually deliver on a review promise. Start reviewing MLW, you communist fuck.

CZW Champion: The Messiah, Since 3/6/2004
CZW Tag Team Champions: Team Ca$h [Chris Ca$h/Nate Webb/JC Bailey/SeXXXy Eddy], Since 12/11/2004
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Sonjay Dutt, Since 12/13/2003 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
CZW Iron Man Champion: B-Boy, Since 12/11/2004

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CZW Gen Z
January 8th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


Mr. Maven Bentley, who has some kind of authority, comes out to open the show. He is mad about the fans throwing water balloons at him, but he forgives them. He says he'll allow young stars to move forward, not the same old death matches. The Kings of Wrestling come down to the ring and Hero says he can't think of a better way to kick off 2005 than with a Chris Hero promo. He fires Blackjack Marciano for costing him the Iron Man Title to B-Boy, and the only partner he needs is Claudio. John Zandig comes out, and takes time to tell some kids in the balcony to get down, because that area is for employees and the athletic commission. Couldn't just send someone up there to do that, off the mic? Zandig says Hero says he quit last month, but now he's back. He says he doesn't have a match, unless he wants him to put his foot in his ass. Bentley says Zandig isn't cleared to wrestle, and he's giving Hero a match, and he yells that he built this motherfucker and he'll kick their fucking asses when they're ready. Zandig says if he gets a match, he wants to see how much of a "technician" Hero is...so he brings out John Dahmer to test him. That. Really? Really, Zandig?

Match #1: Chris Hero w/ Claudio Castagnoli vs. John Dahmer
Dahmer is vaguely competent, so Hero can do something with him. This is basically your usual Hero match against a lower ranked opponent, but in this case, the opponent doesn't come back with lucha or high flying, but with generic indy spots, so it's not as interesting. Nobody gives a shit about Dahmer either. Zandig comes out to eject Claudio, despite him only interfering once, allowing Dahmer to hit a Piledriver to win. Fuck this.
**1/2

Zandig comes out and says JC Bailey isn't here and then talks shit on a midnight curfew for people under 16 for like 3 minutes.

Match #2: Niles Young w/ Cory Kastle vs. Derek Frazier
Niles is still THE FUCKING WORST. I've decided not to watch his matches anymore.

Match #3: Mike Quackenbush/Jigsaw/Nate Webb/DJ Hyde vs. Claudio Castagnoli/Hallowicked/Crossbones/Ravage
What in the fuck? This is like halfway to a nice CHIKARA showcase, and then they fucking put DJ and Ravage in there to make it not as good. Nate and Bones were average but entertaining, as usual, and then the four actual CHIKARA guys were awesome and made this almost great. Webb gets Hallowicked with the Arachnid Kick and then the Moonsault Double Stomp to win.
**3/4

Match #4: Eddie Kingston/Sabian/Ruckus w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Ghost Shadow/Spyral/Heretic

BLK-OUT MOTHERFUCKER! This had no business going 16 minutes, but it was still quite enjoyable. Shadow and Spyral had a few decent spots, and BLK-OUT all delivered on some level. Sabian hits a Flipping Double Stomp to Heretic under a chair for the win.
**1/2

Match #5: El Generico/Beef Wellington vs. Justice Pain/Nick Gage

Well, Generico did what he could. Pain and Gage are hardly bad or anything, but they're just kind of average. This was basically just an extended squash for way too long. They hit Generico with a Spike Piledriver on a chair to win. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
**

Match #6: Chris Ca$h/SeXXXy Eddy [c] vs. Super Dragon/Excalibur [CZW Tag Team Championship]

YEAH SUPER DRAGON'S HERE! FUCK YEAH! He is refusing to tolerate the faggy bullshit stripping from the champions and beats the fuck out of them. Excalibur does some stuff too, but whatever. Cash is really horrible and puts on maybe the worst headlock I've ever seen. Eddy kind of blows too, and they refuse to just work a normal tag and have a lot of abbreviated control segs. Shitty crowd also hurt this. Cash hits a shitty Burning Hammer on Excalibur to win.
**1/4

Match #7: Sonjay Dutt [c] vs. Alex Shelley [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]

Again way too long, but possibly MOTN by virtue of sucking the least. Horrible horrible dead crowd again kind of holds it back though. Shelley thankfully wins the belt and hopefully gets rid of Dutt forever with a leverage pin. I don't know if I can handle Dutt in two different reviews.
**1/2

Match #8: B-Boy [c] vs. Kaos [CZW Iron Man Championship]

This is not an Iron Man match. The title is falsely named. So fuck that. This really blew, typical B-Boy, but with a shittier opponent than usual too. The crowd is so dead that a German Superplex results in like 2 people clapping. B-Boy wins with a Shining Wizard.
*3/4

Lord, beer me strength.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Champion: The Messiah, Since 3/6/2004 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
CZW Tag Team Champions: Team Ca$h [Chris Ca$h/Nate Webb/JC Bailey/SeXXXy Eddy], Since 12/11/2004
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Alex Shelley, Since 1/8/2004
CZW Iron Man Champion: B-Boy, Since 12/11/2004


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CZW Only The Strong
February 5th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA

Match #1: Derek Frazier vs. Heretic

This blew, but at least it was short. Heretic tries to steal Claudio-style European Uppercuts, but they look like shit. Tons of obvious spot calling, and really every problem you'd expect with two rookies against each other. Frazier wins with some kind of a move.
*1/4C

Match #2: The Kings of Wrestling vs. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer

Decent Kings carryjob. Claudio and Hero carry the awful men through matwork and have a great control seg. Not nearly long enough though. In fact, the shitty CZW Team controlled for longer at the beginning. Clauduo chokes out DJ with the Swiss Sleeper and then Hero tags in to hit the Hero's Welcome to win,
**1/4

Match #3: Milanito Collection AT vs. Skayde

Really enjoyable lucha showcase. Skayde gets some manner of a fancy lucha pin for the win. By virtue of not being overlong or with any truly horrible guys bringing it down, this is currently the CZW MOTY.
**3/4

Match #4: Kenny the Bastard/Takao [c] vs. All Money is Legal vs. El Generico/Beef Wellington vs. Ghost Shadow/Spyral [IWS Tag Team Championship]

This happened, I guess. Not really good, not really bad, but at least only 11 minutes. The champions retain, and CZW continues to completely waste El Generico.
**

Match #5: Super Dragon/Excalibur vs. Eddie Kingston/Sabian w/ Robbie Mireno

Now THIS is the good shit. Truly beautiful mauling of Sabian by Super Dragon. Oh Super Dragon torturing a smaller guy, how I've missed you. BLK-OUT then isolated Excalibur, and that's full of great offense. Kingston is once again an amazing piece of shit bully. Gets shitty at the end with Sabian kicking out of WAY too much and then countering the Psycho Driver into a Rana to win. Still the best match of 05 for the company.
**3/4

Match #6: Adam Flash vs. Kaos [Tables & Ladders Match]

Nah

Before the tag title match, Bailey is mad that Webb got booked to defend the belts tonight instead of him, but they calm him down.

Match #7: Chris Ca$h/Nate Webb [c] w/ JC Bailey vs. Nick Gage/Justice Pain [CZW Tag Team Championship]
WE GET TO HEAR "TEENAGE DIRTBAG"! THIS ALMOST SAVES THE SHOW! Didn't need 15 minutes, but had some nice stuff. Gage and Pain are shoe ins for winning the belts, and the flippy stuff of Cash and Webb barely phased them until flurries at the end. If this was like 7 minutes, it would have been a hell of a match. Cash is still awful. Bailey gets in at the end, and he hits Webb with a chair. They then hit Cash with the Spike Piledriver to win the belts.
**

Match #8: B-Boy [c] vs. Frankie The Mobster [c] [CZW Iron Man Championship vs. IWS Championship]

Frankie still kind of sucks, and this had no business going 15 minutes either. This was not a total train wreck though, which is an accomplishment for a B-Boy/Frankie match. Frankie reverses an inside cradle into one of his own for the win. What the fuck? I'm not a B-Boy fan at all, but what the fuck is that?
**

Match #9: Alex Shelley [c] vs. Mike Quackenbush vs. Arsenal vs. Sexxxy Eddie [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]

This is good stuff. Nobody here is really bad or anything, and Quack and Shelley do a good job guiding the other two. Some really nice matwork from them, especially against each other. Goes on a little too long, but is up there with BLK-OUT/SBS in terms of being the best CZW match of the year yet. Quack wins the title with the QD2 on Shelley! It's CZW and I don't see many matches much better and it had enough that I wouldn't be mad at someone else doing this, so I'll give it ***.
***

Match #10: The Messiah [c] vs. Ruckus w/ Robbie Mireno [CZW Championship]

This happened, I guess. Messiah is hardly bad or anything, but he's one of those CZW guys who is clearly more comfortable with weapons and shit. Ruckus has some real cool spots as usual. They tried to make this a big long 16 minute epic, but nobody gave a shit and it didn't click at all. Ruckus wins with a roll up.
*3/4

Not included on the show is the first ULTRAVIOLENT UNDERGROUND TITLE match between JC Bailey and Necro Butcher. It was a protest by CZW on letting WWE use barbed wire for No Way Out 2005 and continually not letting them use it, so they taped an empty arena barbed wire cage match, which JC won. This would end up being a useless protest since JBL and Show only touched the wire a few times.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: The H8 Club [Nick Gage/Justice Pain], Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Mike Quackenbush, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW Liberated and Coming Full Circle
March 12th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


INTERVIEWS FROM AFTER THE LAST SHOW:
-Derek Frazier talks about beating a lot of people, and he wants to be in Best of the Best this year in May
-Adam Flash is mad about people on the internet saying he sucks and he wants an Iron Man Title shot
-BLK-OUT is in the parking lot eating cookies and Sabian says DJ and Dahmer ain't shit and they run around with fucking trash bags on. Kingston says they make him look skinny as fuck
-The H8 Club say they aren't satisfied just being the champs, and they want all the belts
-Frankie The Mobster says fuck a lot

John Zandig comes out to get on the mic. He says CZW and CHIKARA are going to do some business together now, and he brings out Leonard Chikarason to announce double shots in the future at this Arena, starting in August. Some dude comes out and Gargulio says he represents IWS. He is mad that CZW didn't get into business with IWS, and he wants to do a double shot with CZW too, and Zandig agrees to it. And then IAN ROTTEN COMES OUT WHAT THE FUCK?! He wants in too, and he wants to do a double shot in June, which leads to Joe/Necro. Anyways, he brags about his barbed wire bat match 10 YEARS AGO and he says if he gets that double shot, he has Mad Man Pondo and 2 Tuff Tony here tonight and they can take out the H8 Club since he has a problem with them. Zandig agrees. BAD DECISION. All four promotion heads shake hands.

Match #1: Beef Wellington vs. Niles Young vs. Derek Frazier vs. Spyral
This wasn't much. Niles is still the worst. None of the others are really anything special either, and none of them do anything that could be classified as interesting. Some cool moves near the end, but it doesn't make up for 9 minutes of nothing before then. Beef beats Spyral with the Jay Driller.
*3/4

Match #2: Eddie Kingston/Sabian vs. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer

King and Sabian try. They really put forth a fine effort but Hyde is AWFUL. Inexperienced, slow, easily worn out, just every bad stereotype of a CZW wrestler. The crowd responds by chanting for BLK-OUT. Dahmer was less shitty than Hyde. He beats King with a really hideous sunset flip.
**

King and Sabian yell at Bryce post-match for counting the three.

Match #3: Frankie The Mobster [c] vs. Adam Flash w/ Dewey Donovan [CZW Iron Man Championship]
Hey, this fucking sucked. Flash and his faggot manager in a skin tight lime green shirt have problems, and FTM wins with a one armed Baldo Bomb.
*1/2

Match #4: The Kings of Wrestler vs. B-Boy/Nate Webb

Finally, a nearly great match! FUCK YEAH "TEENAGE DIRTBAG"! Webb and B-Boy do not mesh nearly as well as Hero and Claudio, and thus have some issues. Some awesome stooging early on from the Kings, and then they have the usual killer control seg. A little sloppiness from Webb on the comeback, disappointingly. B-Boy actually has a good hot tag. B-Boy beats Hero with the Shining Wizard.
**3/4

B-Boy now agrees to dance with Nate post-match.

Match #5: Mike Quackenbush [c] vs. Emil Sitoci [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]
Quack does his best to carry him. Hero comes on commentary to continue his feud with Quack. Emil's focus is muddled and it drags it down, not sure if he wants to work the arm or back. Quack wins with the QD2.
**1/2

Match #6: The H8 Club [c] vs. Mad Man Pondo/2 Tuff Tony [CZW Tag Team Championship]

They just do a brawl, so this is good for the first few minutes. Then they work a normal formula tag, and what the fuck? Why? Why even bother? Tony is AWFUL. HORRIBLE hot tag by Pondo too. Gage somehow botches a Piledriver on Pondo, and Pain wins with the Pain Thriller on Tony.
*1/2

Match #7: Sexxxy Eddie vs. The Arsenal

This sure happened. They had some neat spots with chairs at the end, but not much as a whole. Eddie wins with the Reverse 450 Splash.
**

Match #8: Ruckus [c] w/ BLK-OUT vs. Sonjay Dutt [CZW Championship]

This is actually pretty good in the context of this card and of CZW. But in a context of actual pro wrestling, it is merely decent. Your average cruiserweight spotfest with stand offs and mirror spots and shit. Control seg from Ruckus goes on way too long. Good finishing run. After interference, Ruckus wins with kind of a Gory Special Flatliner deal.
**3/4

Match #9: Necro Butcher vs. Toby Klein [Falls Count Anywhere]

This is the good shit. Classic kind of Necro brawl. Toby is game for all the Necro trademarks of the punch off, gross headbutts, A SUPLEX ON THE FUCKING STEPS SIDE OF THE STEPS JESUS CHRIST. Some gross/awesome chair spots too. This stands out as different from other brawls on the show and in CZW so far in 2005 because they actually did cool stuff and the filler strikes were appropriately brutal. NECRO TAKES A SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB OFF THE TOP TO THE FLOOR JESUS CHRIST! That is obviously the end and Toby wins.
***

The H8 Club comes out, and they attack both of them. They duct tape Necro to a chair, and beat on him, BUT NECRO HEADBUTTS THEM AND SPITS AT THEM! FUCK YEAH NECRO! They spray lighter fluid on him instead and try to light him on fire, but Zandig runs out to save along with those faggots Hyde and Dahmer, and Toby gets back up to help too, and they save Necro and run off the heels.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: The H8 Club [Nick Gage/Justice Pain], Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Mike Quackenbush, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW Trifecta III
April 2nd, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


CZW XPOSED PROMO:
-DJ Hyde and Jon Dahmer talk about getting a tag title shot. GROSS
-The H8 Club talk about killing tag teams or something. They say Zandig is on the hit list.
-Sonjay Dutt yells at Hero and Claudio for bullying Emil Sitoci around. If he spent time around Emil or watching him, they'd know he has it coming. Hero says he's going to LA next month, so he tells Claudio to take care of this.
-BLK-OUT attacks Mike Quackenbush and Sabian wants his belt
-B-Boy says he hears Ruckus wants him for the belt, and that's stupid on his part because he's won everything he's ever gone after in CZW, and the CZW title is next. Nate Webb then brings him a beer to celebrate and he kisses B-Boy on the cheek. AWWWWWWWW. <3 Nate Webb.

Match #1: Hallowicked vs. Jigsaw vs. Jolly Roger [Trifecta Elimination Match]
The actual Trifecta concept is pretty cool. Take three promotions, CHIKARA, IWA-MS, and IWS, and have them choose three guys. Each promotion has a three way and then the winners face off in the main event, with the winner getting into Best of the Best. I don't know. Anyways, this is probably the best of the three, due to Wicked and Jigsaw ruling. Some fun shit here. J-Ro rolls up Jig for the elimination and Hallowicked then gets rid of him with the Super Fisherman's Buster.
**1/2

Match #2: Derek Frazier vs. Adam Flash

This happened. To his credit, Frazier bumped around a lot, and did what he could to make this not a complete waste of time. Flash is still absolutely horrible. He wins with a Package Reverse Brainbuster.
*3/4

The H8 Club comes out, and they beat down Flash. Frazier bails, and they kill Adam Flash with a Spike Piledriver through a table on the floor! Dahmer and Hyde run out to attack the H8 Club, and the tag title match begins.

Match #3: The H8 Club [c] vs. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer [CZW Tag Team Championship]
This sure happened. They again tried to work a normal tag, but Hyde and Dahmer are THE FUCKING WORST. Dahmer is probably the worst guy in CZW, and gets massacred at the end like he deserves. Pain kills him with the Pain Thriller for the win.
*1/2

Match #4: Josh Abercrombie vs. Brandon Thomaselli vs. Silas Young [Trifecta Elimination Match]

Silas is working a really awful gay gimmick. Abercrombie and Brandon are at least decent. Brandon Thomaselli works much better in the context of CZW, where his mediocrity looks awesome compared to some of the horrible wrestlers here. Gets down to Brandon vs. Josh for the finals and it's pretty good shit. Brandon counters a Powerbomb into a roll up for the win.
**1/4

CZW Commissioner Maven Bentley comes out to the ring and he gets on the mic. He adds Chris Hero to Best of the Best and eliminates the weight limit, so it will be open to everyone. He says it will be a 16 man tournament and also adds Derek Frazier and Kevin Steen to it. 2 out of 3 isn't bad, especially for CZW.

Match #5: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Sonjay Dutt
Best match so far, just on the basis of being Claudio vs. a flippy guy. His working Sonjay's arm actually kind of pays off as Dutt at least makes an attempt to sell it. Eric Gargulio continues to be the worst commentator ever, constantly referring to Claudio as "Constanyoli" like he can't fucking read. Sabian comes out to distract Dutt, and Claudio hits the Rolling European Uppercut for the win.
**3/4

Match #6: Viking vs. Damien vs. Dan Paysan [Trifecta Elimination Match]

Worst three way of the night. Viking has some cool chops and shit, but nobody in this is a fully good wrestler. Damien wins with a Flying Double Knee Drop.
**

Match #7: Mike Quackenbush [c] vs. Sabian w/ BLK-OUT [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]

Hey, this was pretty great! Sabian lets Quack guide him through matwork and lucha flavored stuff. Quack ends up just punishing Sabian on the mat and making a fool out of him, which makes sense given the locker room attack. Quack can't punish a guy with pure strikes, he's not super strong, but he can twist a guy up real well. BLK-OUT interferes and Sabian has a solid control seg. Solid finishing run. BLK-OUT interferes again when Kingston shoves Quack off the top and Sabian hits a Flying Tornado DDT to win the belt. Since this is really good for CZW, I'll go *** for it.
***

Match #8: Frankie The Mobster [c] vs. Beef Wellington [CZW Iron Man Championship]

Horrible. Frankie retains inexplicably.
*1/4

Match #9: Eddie Kingston w/ BLK-OUT vs. Sexxxy Eddie

Not bad. Kingston is beginning to enter his peak, so he gets something good out of Eddie. He throws a ton of amazing strikes and is fantastic as a piece of shit thug. It's not amazing though. Sexxxy Eddie can't throw down with Eddie convincingly, but King sells for him. He also hits maybe the worst Frog Splash I've ever seen, and he then hits the Reverse 450 Splash for the win.
**1/2

Kingston and Mireno argue post-match.

Match #10: Hallowicked vs. Brandon Thomaselli vs. Damien [Trifecta Finals - Elimination Match]
Decent enough. Hallowicked is easily the best guy in this, but Damien and Brandon have a few decent moments. Way too many contrived three way spots for it to be truly great though. Horribly, Hallowicked goes out first. Damien starts to do a lot of horrible faux MMA bullshit. Thankfully, Brandon wins and gets a spot in BOTB.
**1/4

Match #11: Ruckus [c] w/ BLK-OUT vs. B-Boy [CZW Heavyweight Championship]

Kingston is walking some distance behind the rest of BLK-OUT. This got like 20+ minutes, which is rigoddamndiculous. They could probably have a decent 10-15 minute spotfest if it was laid out well, but this? Awful man. Awful. Ruckus smoking a Black & Mild in the middle of his control seg was AMAZING. I am absolutely doing this shit in TNA. Wasn't as bad as I expected for the time given, but not quite great either. They do the Rude/Warrior finish, with Sabian holding down B-Boy's legs for the win.
**3/4

B-Boy attacks post-match, but Sabian and Ruckus beat on him. Sexxxy Eddie comes out to save.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: The H8 Club [Nick Gage/Justice Pain], Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Sabian, Since 4/2/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW BEST OF THE BEST V
May 14th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


CZW XPOSED PROMOS:
-DJ Hyde wants revenge on the H8 Club and says fuck a lot
-Brandon Thomaselli says he's going to win BOTB5
-Claudio is on the ohone with Hero, bragging about his win
-The H8 Club says they're going to make this place CZW again, like it used to be. Nick Gage says he'll have to die or be locked up before he leaves CZW. Well, he's not wrong.
-Robbie Mireno yells at Eddie Kingston, who clearly wants to murder him
-Ruckus says Sexxxy Eddie has to earn a title shot, and tells him to bring a partner to BOTB and fight the BLK-OUT. Eddie Kingston comes over and says whatever happens between he and Robbie, he's BLK-OUT and he's with them, and he wants to take that faggot out next month, and Ruckus says he can be his partner.

Match #1: Super Dragon vs. Chris Bosh [1st Round]
God damn, does this fucking deliver. They both have amazing dives and have a super fast paced start before Bosh has a great control seg. SD comes back and they just do a lot of cool and nasty moves. This is simple and a ton of fun. Super Dragon wins with a Super Tiger Driver.
***

Match #2: El Generico vs. Excalibur [1st Round]

This isn't going to top SD/Bosh, but it was still a ton of fun. They have to work hard to get the crowd back after the incredible SD/Bosh bombfest. Generico wins with the Brainbuster.
**3/4

Match #3: Chris Hero vs. Brandon Thomaselli [1st Round]

Not as great as their 2006 CHIKARA match, but just as much of a carryjob. It's mostly a great Hero control segment, but unlike 2006, Thomaselli can't do much in the way of a comeback, non-maycabe speaking. His comeback here is more based on generic indy spots and loss on big strikes. Hero wins with Hero's Welcome.
**3/4

Match #4: Kevin Steen vs. Kenny the Bastard [1st Round]

KTB sucks. This is a waste of Steen. Steen eventually wins with the Package Piledriver.
**1/2

Match #5: Mike Quackenbush vs. Arik Cannon [1st Round]

And this is great. Cannon goes right along with Quack's fancy matwork and lucha. Cannon has a great control seg, and this is basically just as good as their CHIKARA match from the same time period. Quack wins with the QD2.
***

Match #6: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Derek Frazier [1st Round]

Decent carryjob by Claudio. CC bringing a chair in and using it to sit down when applying holds was beautiful. Frazier has one or two good spots, but is useless otherwise. Claudio wins with the Ricola Bomb.
**1/2

Match #7: B-Boy vs. Sabian w/ Robbie Mireno [1st Round]

Good match. B-Boy actually showed something for once, and they had a well paced and structured movefest. Sabian had some cool offense when in control, and I liked this enough to put it at ***, since CZW matches are graded kind of on a curve, like WWF 1999 or probably TNA 2007-present. B-Boy gets his insane Wheelbarrow Here It Is Driver thing to win.
***

Match #8: Nate Webb vs. Ebessan [1st Round]

Fantastic comedy match to break up all the real serious stuff. Some fun matwork too. Ebessan wins with the Shining Wizard.
**1/2

Match #9: Super Dragon vs. El Generico [Semi-Finals]

This is SD vs. Generico. It delivers. It always delivers and is always great, but this is their least great match. Lots of really nasty SD offense, as he bullies Generico as usual. Lots of big bumps and headdrops at the end. Only truly objectionable thing is Super Dragon kicking out of the BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Just a move that nobody should ever kick out of. Generico returns the favor by kicking out of the Psycho Driver. Come on guys, you're better than this. SD follows with the Psycho Driver II for the win.
***

Match #10: Chris Hero vs. Kevin Steen [Semi-Finals]

Somewhat disappointing. Hero jumps Steen as he comes out, and immediately moves into his awesome control seg. Steen is not great yet, and is more of a MOVEZ~ wrestler than he would become in a few years. This went on a little too long at the end, and they had an abrupt finish with Steen getting a roll up to win.
**3/4

Match #11: Mike Quackenbush vs. Claudio Castagnoli [Semi-Finals]

So yeah, this delivers. No real shock there. Usual amazing big/small lucha spots. Crazy Quack dive, awesome Claudio bumping, etc. Quack wins with a Springboard Arm Drag into the Skayde Special.
***

Match #12: B-Boy vs. Ebessan [Semi-Finals]

This is the worst match of the semi-finals, but that's less an insult to this match than a comment on how great the talent roster for this tournament is. B-Boy wins with the Shining Wizard.
**1/4

Match #13: The H8 Club [c] vs. DJ Hyde/Toby Klein [CZW Tag Team Championship]

DJ Hyde is still the worst, but Toby is at least good. He's one of those second-tier deathmatch guys. Necro is obviously the best, but he's at that solid level just below along with Drake Younger. Good brawl to start, but then they insisted again on trying to work a normal tag. IT sucked. Pain beats DJ with the Pain Thriller.
*3/4

They handcuff Toby to the ropes post-match, and Justice kills him with chair shots to the head. He gets on the mic and asks where his buddy Necro is, and says nobody else is stupid enough to try and stop them. They pull out the lighter fluid again, but they can't get the bottle open. Toby grabs a chair, and swings it at them until they leave.

Sexxxy Eddie comes out for the tag match, and his partner is Nate Webb! FUCK YEAH MORE "TEENAGE DIRTBAG"!

Match #14: Ruckus/Eddie Kingston w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Sexxxy Eddie/Nate Webb
They sell the idea that if BLK-OUT loses, Eddie gets a title shot. Good match. Kingston and Ruckus look great again, and Webb is willing to come along for the ride. Sexxxy Eddie is still not impressive at all. After 4+ hours, the crowd is starting to die a little bit, so this drags in the middle. S.E. has a shitty hot tag. King accidentally German Suplexes Eddie onto Ruckus and Webb cuts off King, so Eddie wins a title shot.
**1/2

BLK-OUT beats down Kingston post-match, and they tear off the BLK-OUT shirt. What the fuck?

Match #15: Super Dragon vs. Kevin Steen vs. Mike Quackenbush vs. B-Boy [BEST OF THE BEST V FINALS - Elimination Match]
SD and Steen are in the middle of their PWG feud, so they have issues here. Awesome Quack/SD matwork to begin. Quack guides B-Boy and Steen through some matwork as well. Everyone starts to work on Quack's neck, which produces some good stuff. This clearly didn't need 30 minutes though, and it showed with the middle 10 minutes being a lot of filler. Steen FINALLY gets in opposite SD, but he does it with a sneak attack, and he eliminates him after TWO Package Piledrivers. B-Boy then gets rid of Steen with a Pyramid Piledriver. B-Boy vs. Quack is good shit. Quack has great exhaustion selling and he hits the QD2 to win!
***

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: The H8 Club [Nick Gage/Justice Pain], Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Sabian, Since 4/2/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW Violent by Design
June 11th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


PROMOS AFTER THE LAST SHOW:

-Sexxxy Eddie thanks his friend Nate Webb for having his back and he wants Ruckus in a Steel Cage
-BLK-OUT cuts a promo. Ruckus says he runs shit here. Sabian says he's gonna go fuck a bunch of white bitches and Ruckus says he wants to get high. Sabian walks off yelling "BIG OL TITTIES"
-Eddie Kingston says he made himself, not Robbie Mireno, and he challenges anyone in the BLK-OUT to prove he's the weakest link
-I no longer care, so I moved to the actual show

Match #1: Niles Young vs. Beef Wellington
Still not watching Niles Young matches.

Skipping all promos after about 10 minutes and the first match killed like 45 minutes of a 3 hour, 45 minute show. Nice work, Simon.

Match #2: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brandon Thomaselli
CASTAGNOLI. HIS FUCKING NAME IS CASTAGNOLI. NOT CONSTANYOLI. READING COMPREHENSION, ERIC GARGULIO. FUCK. Anyways, Claudio does his best to get something decent out of Brandon, and he wins with the Ricola Bomb.
**3/4

Match #3: Frankie The Mobster vs. Derek Frazier

Well, this was horrible. Frankie won. Lots and lots and lots of sloppy bullshit.
*1/2

Match #4: Chris Hero w/ Claudio Castagnoli vs. Eddie Kingston

IT BEGINS! The Kings have bullshit fake ghetto gear on to mock King. Hero's bullshit stooging and stalling is fantastic. Hero is a huge piece of shit, and as a result, Eddie Kingston gets a increasingly big babyface response. Big crazy finishing run of gigantic strikes and headdrops, as usual for this pairing. Robbie Mireno comes out to distract the ref, allowing Claudio to sneak in and hit a European Uppercut, and Hero rolls him up for the win.
***

Match #5: The H8 Club [c] w/ Dewey Donovan vs. Necro Butcher/Toby Klein [CZW Tag Team Championship - Falls Count Anywhere]

FUCK YEAH NECRO GETS BOOKED AGAIN! Necro is clearly hurt, since this is only a few hours after the goddamned Joe/Necro match. Total bloody mess, but it was enjoyable since everyone stuck to what they're best at. Bleeding, brawling, and big spots. Not perfect or anything, since Justice decides he's going to kick out of FALLING OFF A GODDAMN BALCONY THROUGH A TABLE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK IT. I LOVED THIS. So much insane shit, and Necro had an amazing babyface performance here. They do a chair riot spot and some nasty bumps onto the sea of chairs. The finish is botched, as the bell rings at 3 after the Pain Thriller to Necro on all the chairs, so they have to do a German Suplex to Necro on the chairs, and then the 3 count happens. Still, best deathmatch of the year so far. Shit, best CZW match of the year.
***1/4

Almost right after, Zandig comes out, and announces a rematch next month in a Fans Bring The Weapons match Logical decision, I have no problem with this. I actually WANT to watch the next CZW show to see the rematch now.

Match #6: Sabian [c] w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Mike Quackenbush vs. B-Boy [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]
B-Boy gets a shot for pinning Sabian in BOTB, and Quack also gets a shot due to winning BOTB. Logical enough. Great three way spotfest. They have to work really hard to get the crowd into it after the insane spectacle of violence, and they do just that. This show has turned a corner big time as of Hero/King. Quack regains the belt with the Lightning Lock Beta on B-Boy. If this was on a show where I have normal standards for matches, this wouldn't get the full rating, but they defied expectations and I enjoyed it, so fuck it.
***

Match #7: Nate Webb vs. JC Bailey [TLC Match]

This isn't exactly a TLC match, since it's pinfall only. Also, there's a random scaffold at ringisde? Whatever. FUCK YEAH "TEENAGE DIRTBAG"! Webb has a weird and strange charisma about him. He's not great, but he's so much fun, and it makes almost everything he's done watchable. Bailey is awful. Tons of entertaining reckless spots. This is what it is. Nate climbs onto the scaffold and then grabs the lighting grid on top of the building. AND NATE WEBB GETS OUT TO THE MIDDLE OF THE CEILING AND GETS A LEGDROP DOWN TO BAILEY THROUGH THE TABLE TO WIN!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST.
**3/4

Match #8: Ruckus [c] w/ Robbie Mireno & Sabian vs. Sexxxy Eddie [CZW Championship - Steel Cage Match]

Eddie still blows. The cage here is based on the Scramble Cage, with the platforms on the corners. Really a shitty match to end the show on after the last 4 great matches. Goes on way too long at like 30ish minutes, and the crowd is mostly out of it. Which makes sense after IWA-MS had a probably 4 hour show to begin this doubleshot, and this is going on 3.5 hours too. Kingston comes out and he throws BLK-OUT into the cage, but then turns on Eddie with a Tombstone on a chair and Ruckus covers to win.
*3/4

Kingston gets on the mic. He says that was a receipt for last month's tough love, and says families fight but they also stick together, and he re-joins BLK-OUT.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: The H8 Club [Nick Gage/Justice Pain], Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Mike Quackenbush, Since 6/11/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: JC Bailey, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW High Stakes III
July 9th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


PROMOS AFTER THE LAST SHOW:

-Frankie The Mobster issues an open challenge
-The H8 Club refuses to put the titles on the line against Necro and Toby again, since they just beat them. They try to claim they can actually wrestle as well as brawl, but Gage says he'd rather just beat the shit out someone
-Maven Bentley has called BLK-OUT and Nate Webb/Sexxxy Eddie/B-Boy and says he's tired of them always fighting. He books a six man between them, and says if BLK-OUT wins, he'll put B-Boy in a Loser Leaves Town match, and if BLK-OUT loses, King is in a LLT match. If BLK-OUT wins, Nate Webb has to enter Tournament of Death, but if they lose, a BLK-OUT member has to go in TOD. If BLK-OUT wins, Sabian gets his title rematch, but if they lose, he doesn't get one for 6 months. Same stip for Sexxxy Eddie. They all yell at him.
-The Kings of Wrestling cut a promo. Claudio is mad about being booked vs. Beef Wellington because he doesn't want anything to happen to his but. Hero calls himself the H.N.I.C. of CZW, and shows Claudio how to counter the Ass Punch into a Cravat

Match #1: JC Bailey vs. Necro Butcher w/ Toby Klein
Necro works this in sweatpants and an Evil Dead shirt. They have a great crowd brawl with a ton of crazy
Necro spots and sells. Only like 6 or 7 minutes, but all really good stuff. When they brawl in the crowd, The H8 Club comes out to ringside, and they lay out Toby Klein with a few chair shots before Necro runs them off. The match gets back inside, and Necro wins with the Asiatic Spike.
**3/4

Match #2: Niles Young vs. Derek Frazier

NOPE!

Match #3: Claudio Castagnoli vs. Beef Wellington
Good Claudio showcase once again. Some great work on the arm by Double C. Beef's comeback wasn't much, but he was at least selling the arm. Claudio wins with the Breaks Special, which is a nice finish to use after he spent all match working on the arm.
**3/4

Match #4: B-Boy/Sexxxy Eddie/Nate Webb vs. Ruckus/Sabian/Eddie Kingston w/ Robbie Mireno [FUCKTON OF STIPULATIONS MATCH]

Good shit here. BLK-OUT, B-Boy, and Nate all try to make this good, which mostly overcomes Sexxxy Eddie's inherent shittiness. BLK-OUT's control seg is great as usual, and both Sabian and Kingston get pretty brutal at points. Finishing run goes a little long, but nobody should have expected this to be perfect. Sabian beats Webb with a Flying Double Stomp to win.
**3/4

AS A RESULT:
-Sexxxy Eddie cannot get a title shot for 6 months
-Sabian gets a Jr. Title rematch
-B-Boy will be in some kind of an LLT match
-Nate Webb is in TOD

Mireno gets on the mic and says they can pick B-Boy's LLT opponent, and they pick Nate Webb! :( Ruckus brags about being the best CZW Champion ever, so Zandig comes out, and for some reason, these 4 guys bail away from this fat old guy. Zandig then puts Kingston in Tournament of Death against him.

Match #5: Frankie The Mobster [c] vs. Chris Hero w/ Claudio Castagnoli [CZW Iron Man Championship]
Kingston joins commentary to talk about how he hates Hero. Hero does what he can to carry Frankie, and then horribly has to put this idiot over. Hero accidentally runs into Claudio on the apron and Frankie gets a shitty backslide to win.
**1/2

Hero and Claudio tease fighting, but instead they high five each other, bump hips, and Hero jumps into Claudio's arms for a hug.

Match #6: Mike Quackenbush [c] vs. Tony Mamaluke
Well, Quack does what he can. Quack forcing super srs bullshit SHOOTAH~ Tony Mamaluke to do fancy lucha stuff was amazing. Then Tony got embarrassed on the mat when he couldn't hang, and this is the least awful Mamaluke singles match of his 05-06 run. Quack makes him tap to the Lightning Lock. Fuck you, Tony.
**3/4

Match #7: The H8 Club [c] w/ Dewey Donovan vs. Necro Butcher/Toby Klein [CZW Tag Team Championship - Fans Bring The Weapons]

This is awesome again. Necro Hip Tosses one of them through the glass door to the building. They get increasingly brutal and violent with the weapons and spots used, and it's that kind of basic structure I want in my ultraviolent deathmatch type deals. All I ask for is cool spots and it to make sense and nothing contrived. Necro does it every goddamn time, and it's why he's the best ever at this stuff. H8 Club seem to be about to win, when Nate Hatred returns! Gargulio says he was in the H8 Club before Gage and Pain took him out. He hits a Chokeslam on Gage and throws Pain over the top through a table. He leaves and Necro buries Gage under chairs and hits a Flipping Senton off the top to win the belts!
***


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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: Necro Butcher/Toby Klein, Since 7/9/2005
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Mike Quackenbush, Since 6/11/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: JC Bailey, Since 2/5/2005


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CZW TOURNAMENT OF DEATH 4
JULY 30TH, 2005
NEW CASTLE, DE


On the XPOSED~ promos, they basically imply that the Ultraviolent Title will go to the winner of the tournament, so I guess it's vacant?

As always the show is in the middle of a field in Delaware.

Match #1: JC Bailey vs. Sexxxy Eddie [1st Round - BARBED WIRE MADNESS]
Not a ton of psychology or anything interesting here. They hardly use barbed wire, and use a staple gun and thumbtacks more than the barbed wire. Shit guys, work to the fucking stipulation. Cool finish as JC pours thumbtacks down Eddie's trunks and kicks him in the dick and rolls him up to win.
**

Match #2: Toby Klein vs. Mad Man Pondo [1st Round - Light Tube Ropes & Corners]

This is more appropriately named. They had some fun light tube spots, and paced themselves well. Pondo does what everyone assumes someone should do in a No DQ match, as he pulls out a hunting knife to carve up Toby. Who is beyond insane for letting that happen. Toby wins with a DVD onto two open chairs and a board with a ton of #2 pencils sticking out. I shit you not.
**1/2

Match #3: Brain Damage vs. Beef Wellington [1st Round - Ultraviolent Tables]

This is not great, but Brain Damage has some decent stuff. Stip says the first man to go through two tables loses, so CZW is a big fan of TNA 2004. Beef tries to wrestle, which would be good if he was a heel, or if he was good at all. Brain Damage wins.
**

Match #4: Necro Butcher vs. Ian Rotten [1st Round - Home Run Derby Match]

This is the best one yet, since it's a Necro Butcher match. Ian delivers too, actually. Good for him. Necro takes some insane stuff and sells a lot. The stip is them using bats covered in light tubes, barbed wire, thumbtacks, etc. There's also a crutch with a water jug attached to it. Ian having thumbtacks visibly stuck in his skull was nasty. Necro wins with the ASIATIC SPIKE.
**3/4

Match #5: Nick Gage vs. Nate Webb [1st Round - Ladders & Lighttubes]

This was decent enough, I guess. They had some fun spots, and it was under 10 minutes. Gage Superplexes Webb off a ladder and through a light tube log cabin, which was the most visually impressive spot of the night.
**1/4

Match #6: John Zandig vs. Eddie Kingston/Robbie Mireno w/ Ruckus [1st Round - Fans Bring The Weapons]

This is fine enough for this kind of deal. Joker makes his return to help Zandig, so it turns into Joker/Zandig vs. BLK-OUT, and is fun. Kingston bleeds to a degree where it looks legitimately scary. Joker hits Mireno with the Joker Driver on a pile of lighttubes, and Zandig covers to win.
**1/2

Match #7: Necro Butcher vs. Brain Damage [Semi-Finals - Fans Bring The Weapons]

Within a minute, Necro is wrestling with tacks stuck in his stomach and chest. God damn. Kind of a mess compared to other Necro matches though. Necro wins with a facebuster onto some light tubes.
**1/2

Match #8: Zandig vs. Toby Klein [Semi-Finals - Log Cabin Light Tubes]

Good work at keeping this simple. Not great or really even good, but Zandig wins with the Mother Fucking Bomb through a log cabin light tube deal.
**

Zandig gets on the mic to yell C Z FUCKING W.

Match #9: Nick Gage vs. JC Bailey [Semi-Finals - Panes of Glass]
I love them not even making an attempt to clean all the shards of glass from light tubes off the mat between matches. This at least has some cool visuals with the panes of glass. One of the first btb blowoff matches I ever wrote involved a pane of glass spot. It was Raven vs. Bret Hart, in one of the most horrible things I've ever booked. Gage wins with a Piledriver off the middle rope through a pane of glass on top of two chairs. Great spot.
**1/4

There was a random hardcore battle royal, but who gives a shit?

Match #10: Necro Butcher vs. Zandig vs. Nick Gage [Tournament of Death IV Finals - Whatever The Fuck is Left Deathmatch]
This match, like the whole show, could have done with being shorter. The ring canvas is gone, and they're just slamming each other on fucking wood. Necro made this so much better than it would have been otherwise. Great exhaustion, inventive spots, etc. The Sit-Down Necro Punch-Off is wonderful again. Zandig's booked himself as the strongest one in this match, which is hilarious. This went on way too long at like 20+ minutes. Necro throws Gage off the apron through several panes of glass and a table to win.
**3/4

So yeah, I like deathmatches, generally speaking. Especially when Necro or Toby is in one. But running 10 of them in a row is pretty horrible. Necro/Ian stood out as MOTN, because it was the only one without light tubes or tables and didn't rely on the same old spots.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005
CZW Tag Team Champions: Necro Butcher/Toby Klein, Since 7/9/2005
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Mike Quackenbush, Since 6/11/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Frankie The Mobster, Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: Necro Butcher, Since 7/30/2005


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CZW Deja Vu 3
August 13th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


PROMOS:
-BLK-OUT still wants Quack's title, and Ruckus says he's the best high flyer ever
-Derek Frazier hates Niles Young
-Nate Webb and B-Boy argue
-Quack accepts Ruckus' challenge, but only if he also puts the CZW Championship on the line too
-Niles Young cuts a horrible promo
-A masked man attacks Sexxxy Eddie

Before his match, Eddie Kingston gets on the mic, and he calls out Chris Hero. This is right after the CHIKARA show in this building, where Hero kicked Eddie in the dick to win, so he is mad. Nobody comes out, and King swears on his mother's life that he'll get his hands on Hero and end his.

Match #1: Eddie Kingston/Sabian w/ Robbie Mireno vs. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer
Hyde and Dahmer continue to be maybe the worst two guys on the roster, which when the roster includes Sexxxy Eddie, Frankie the Mobster, and Niles Young, that is almost impressive. BLK-OUT is good, but there's only so much they can do when Hyde and Dahmer get this much offense, and they now get face pops for fighting against Hero. King hits some manner of a big head drop on Dahmer to win.
*3/4

Match #2: Excalibur vs. Beef Wellington

Awesome comedy match. Beef wins with the E. Coli Bomb, which is the Jay Driller.
*1/2

Match #3: Derek Frazier vs. Niles Young [Ladder Match]

There's a contract above the ring, and horrible announcer says it's for the #1 Contendership to the Jr. Title. They realize the only way they can have a good match with these two is to do a lot of dangerous spots. Still not great due to having no idea how to fill time in between spots, but less awful than it could have been, for sure. JC Bailey comes out and takes down the contract, so it's a not contest.
**

Maven Bentley comes out and makes it a 4 way for the belt next month, and books him in the next match.

Match #4: Arik Cannon vs. JC Bailey
Cannon does what he can. Bailey wins sort of out of nowhere with the Gedo Clutch.
**1/4

Match #5: Frankie the Mobster [c] vs. Kevin Steen [CZW Iron Man Championship]

Not good stuff. Steen seems like he's going to work well with his friend, but nope. They do some stuff, and it's just a lot of moves. They try to work this faux movez epic, and it's pretty awful when they do all the cliche epic spots. It's like Steen saw every criticism of himself at this point and played into them. This ends with something good at least, as Steen wins the belt with the Package Piledriver.
**

During the entrances for Webb vs. B-Boy, the greatest moment in CZW happens and the only CZW moment that I would put in a pantheon of my all time favorite things in wrestling, as Nate Webb gets an acoustic guitar and sings "Teenage Dirtbag". The camera catches Necro Butcher in the crowd enjoying it profusely.

Match #6: Nate Webb vs. B-Boy [Loser Leaves Town]
This was pretty good, but the shitty crowd really dragged it down. Lots of cool spots and counters and Nate pulls off the huge upset with a schoolboy out of a Shining Wizard try by B-Boy for the win. AND NATE WEBB KEEPS HIS JOB! YEAH!
**3/4

They huge post-match and B-Boy gets a big ovation as he now goes back to PWG for a while to drag their cards down.

Match #7: Ruckus [c] w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Mike Quackenbush [c] [CZW Championship vs. CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]
This is more of an angle, but it is still 3 or 4 minutes of awesome matwork and lucha, before THE KINGS OF WRESTLING COME OUT AND ATTACK BOTH MEN! YEAH!

Hero gets on the mic and calls out Kingston up in the balcony at commentary, and asks how he's feeling after he beat him up, and he says he's going to the top of BLK-OUT. Gargulio says Kingston has been told he's not allowed to attack Hero tonight, and the bell sounds and it's now a tag match.

Match #7b: The Kings of Wrestling vs. Mike Quackenbush/Ruckus w/ Robbie Mireno
This was really great. Classic KOW bullshit stalling and stooging, and then an amazing control seg on Ruckus. They have a great control segment on Quack. Ruckus has a great hot tag, and yeah, awesome finishing run. More of a CZW style spot heavy finishing run than a CHIKARA one, but still great. Claudio beats Quack with the Ricola Bomb.
***1/4

Justice Pain comes out, and he says Nick Gage is still burned and hurt from Tournament of Death, so he won't be able to compete tonight. Nate Hatred comes out and attacks him. He puts a table up on the floor, and gets revenge with a Piledriver off the apron and through the table! He tries to keep attacking, but security comes out to make him leave.

Match #8: Super Dragon vs. El Generico
This is SD vs. Generico, so it is really great. Takes a bit to get going, but as always, once Super Dragon gets in control and is a supreme dick to Generico, it is fantastic. Lots of great dick moments from SD, and that idiot Eric Gargulio tries to say Super Dragon is white. He's clearly black, you moron. Generico gets a great flurry at the end, and wins with the BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
***

There's some angle with Zandig, Necro, and JC Bailey. The mic quaity is awful, but it results in the following.

Match #9: Necro Butcher [c] vs. JC Bailey [CZW Ultraviolent Underground Championship - NO ROPES BARBED WIRE]
Necro delivers on another NRBW match. Lots of sick sick bumps, and they work the stip well. Nick Gage comes out, with most of his body taped up, and he hits Necro with a chair and Bailey covers to win.
***

Gage keeps on the attack, but Zandig comes out to save. Bailey attacks him and leaves with the belt. Gage then attacks Zandig, and Justice Pain comes out to help, now recovered from a Piledriver on concrete. Bailey comes out to help him, and they beat on Necro too. Nate Hatred comes out to save, and he helps Zandig up.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Yeah so I accidentally shut down Firefox in anger at Ford linking me to a WJ review, so I lost 80% of this show or whatever. And it's only CZW, so fuck it.

Steen vs. Webb: **3/4

Team Masturbation vs. Hyde/Dahmer: *3/4

Super Dragon vs. Eddie Kingston: ***

Quack vs. Niles vs. Frazier vs. Kenny The Bastard: **1/4
-Frazier wins Jr. Title

Kings of Wrestling vs. Necro/Toby: ***
-KOW win the belts!

Ruckus vs. El Generico: **3/4

The H8 Club vs. The Messiah/Nate Hatred: *1/2
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Tag Team Champions: The Kings of Wrestling, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Derek Frazier, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Kevin Steen, Since 8/13/2005
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: JC Bailey, Since 8/13/2005


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CZW Point of No Return
October 8th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


XPOSED PROMOS:

-DJ Hyde yells a lot and is mad at Dahmer for losing
-In the parking lot, Eddie Kingston confronts Bryce Remsburg and asks if he's with Chris Hero. He says he's a referee and he's neutral. Eddie says if he turns on him, he'll kill him. He calls Eddie paranoid, and Eddie says "fuck you" and says he knows Bryce is lying to him. Bryce says Hero's in his head, and King yells that that's not true and to shut the fuck up, and King throws the camera down. This is amazing.
-In another shot, Eddie is still in the parking lot. He says this is Hero's car behind him. He says he went to church the other day and confessed that he is obsessed with an evil man. The priest handed him a card of St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. EVEN GOD HIMSELF DOESN'T BELIEVE THAT HE CAN BEAT CHRIS HERO. He says Hero's taken all his friends in this business, and he gets on his knees and says all he wants is the match and one chance. This is so fucking incredible. Good lord.
-Chris Hero and Claudio are inside the building, and Hero says Eddie wants retribution, but he doesn't deserve retribution. He says he's bringing his assassin, Gran Akuma, to CZW this month, and if Eddie can get by Gran Akuma, he'll give him his match in November.
-Team Masturbation watches interracial porn

DJ Hyde and Jon Dahmer come out to issue an open challenge, and the new CZW trainees, Andy Sumner and Drew Gulak come out to accept.

Match #1: DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer vs. Team AnDrew
They try to work a Kingston/Donst type deal with bullies abusing rookies. The rookies aren't bad or anything, but it's like their first match, so they're not much. DJ refuses to end the match when Dahmer says to, and they wind up making Dahmer tap to a Double Fujiwara Armbar.
*3/4

Match #2: Eddie Kingston w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Gran Akuma

This is great as usual. Awesome slugfest with Akuma also focusing on the neck that he injured previously in both CZW and CHIKARA. Kingston blocks the Super Yoshi Tonic and murders Akuma with several straight Lariats, and then the Mad Scientist Bomb for the win.
***

King now gets Hero in a match next month.

Match #3: The Kings of Wrestling [c] vs. Team Masturbation [CZW Tag Team Championship]
Excalibur and Beef lack the firepower or skill to really go even with the Kings or have a great match, but Hero and Claudio do their best. Best part of this is the huge "MASTURBATION!" chants in their favor. Beef doing an Ass Punch dive was fantastic. Claudio wins with the Ricola Bomb.
**3/4

Match #4: Kevin Steen [c] vs. El Generico [CZW Iron Man Championship]

This is Steen/Generico, and it delivers. Shocking. In PWG or ROH or a place with higher standards, I wouldn't like this as much because it's not one of their better matches, but this is CZW. They take a little bit to get going, but then the last half of it is really amazing. Lots of awesome spots and counters. Steen wins with the Package Piledriver.
***

Match #5: Nate Webb vs. Voltaire w/ Pandora

This is apparently the masked dude. He's not bad at all, and this is better than I expected. Another masked man comes from under the ring to hit Nate with a chair, and Voltaire hits a Gory Bomb into the corner to win.
**1/4

Match #6: Derek Frazier [c] vs. Mike Quackenbush vs. Sabian vs. JC Bailey vs. Niles Young vs. Heretic [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship - Elimination Match]

Quack and Sabian do what they can, and actually guide the other four to a really good spotfest. Heretic in particular impresses with some crazy bumps. Hero and Claudio rush out to distract Sabian, and Heretic rolls him up for the shocking first elimination. JC then eliminates Heretic and Niles. Quack beats JC with the QD2, and then has to put over the very inexperienced and overpushed Frazier. Frazier wins with a double stomp of some manner.
**3/4

Match #7: Ruckus [c] vs. Nick Gage w/ Dewey Donovan [CZW Championship]
Fuck them for making me enjoy a Gage match. It was actually kind of a good match. They used chairs to gimmick it up so Gage was in his own environment. Gage and Pain are super limited, but they've done a great job building them up in 2005 as these unstoppable psychopaths, and Ruckus can only hang with him by going to the air and doing insane things. Classic story of a babyface high flyer having to get violent to fend off the barbarian. Gage survives stuff and starts killing him, but Ruckus gets a roll up to win.
**3/4

Match #8: Justice Pain vs. Toby Klein vs. Nate Hatred [Thumbtacks and Tables Match]

Total garbage. Every bad idea people have of CZW is this match. Pain hits Hatred with the Pain Thriller on tacks to win.
*1/2

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Tag Team Champions: The Kings of Wrestling, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Derek Frazier, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Kevin Steen, Since 8/13/2005
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: JC Bailey, Since 8/13/2005


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CZW Night of Infamy 4
November 12th, 2005
Philadelphia, PA


XPOSED PROMOS:

-Robbie Mireno says he realizes now that maybe all this shit is karma, but he blames Super Dragon and the Kings of Wrestling more than anything
-Hyde is mad at Dahmer again and he swears a lot
-Hero and Claudio yell at Gran Akuma in Maven's office for getting a meeting before them. He leaves, and Claudio gives him a bike and a raincoat, and says they'll talk later. Amazing. Hero wants to know who they're wrestling in November, so Maven books Claudio vs. Ruckus for the CZW Title, AND HERO VS. KINGSTON IN A LAST MAN STANDING MATCH! YES!
-Team Masturbation jerks off to Pandora, so the two masked men lay them out
-Sabian calls Hero and Claudio cowards for costing him a belt he shouldn't have lost

Match #1: Nate Webb vs. Niles Young
Hearing "Teenage Dirtbag" is the best part of this. Niles has painfully obvious thigh slapping on strikes. Nate hits Soylent Green, but Pandora and the masked guys attack him with chairs, and Niles pins to win.
**

They take off their masks, AND IT'S B-BOY AND SOME OTHER DUDE! Oh, it's Adam Flash. Pandora introduces them as Pandora's Box. Great pun. Awful. B-Boy hits Maven Bentley when he comes out. TEAM MASTURBATION COMES OUT AND A MATCH IS ON!

Match #2: Team Masturbation vs. Pandora's Box w/ Pandora
Excal and Beef have some funny stuff, but this exists to put over this horrible new team. Which makes it hilarious when they struggle to beat the comedy team using the Rude/Warrior finish.
**1/4

DJ Hyde and Jon Dahmer come out to issue an open challenge, and another student named Danny Havoc comes out, AND HIS PARTNER IS THE NECRO BUTCHER! YES!

Match #3: Necro Butcher/Danny Havoc vs. DJ Hyde/Jon Dahmer
NECRO BUTCHER IS KING! He gets a good match with a rookie and two of the worst guys in CZW. NEcro gives them enough and sells just enough to make the assholes look good, and then dominates with his amazing flurries to actually make the match good. I think if I made a list of my top 25 favorite wrestlers ever, Necro would be up there. That would be a fun project. Havoc takes a nice beating, and gets the Tim Donst effect as a result of being very sympathetic. Necro punches Dahmer in the face and Havoc schoolboys him to win.
**1/2

Hyde attacks Dahmer post-match and they finally break up.

Match #4: Sabian w/ BLK-OUT vs. Heretic
Solid stuff. Lots of good looking fast paced stuff. Sabian wins with a beautiful Flying Back Senton.
**3/4

Match #5: Derek Frazier [c] vs. Sexxxy Eddie vs. JC Bailey [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship]

This happened. Given how loaded the rest of the card is, I am not too offended with this. It was short and Frazier wins.
**

Match #6: Chris Sabin vs. Mike Quackenbush

Really perfectly done face/face movefest. They build it up gradually and everything looks really tight and crisp. Awesome dives from both guys. Sabin wins with the Cradle Shock.
***

Match #7: Ruckus [c] w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Claudio Castagnoli [CZW Championship]

Good, not great. Too much time killing early on, but they pulled it together for a huge finishing run of really really awesome spots. Ruckus avoids the Rolling European Uppercut, and gets a Bridging Backslide for the win.
**3/4

LARRY SWEENEY COMES OUT TO THE RING! YEAH! He talks about being the ICW-ICWA Texarkana Television Champion. He says he was trying to talk on the phone to Buddy Rose earlier and says he couldn't hear him because the crowd was chanting "MASTURBATION!" He says as the representative of the Christian Conservative part of this country, he and Pat Robertson are as close as close can be, and he wants Team Masturbation at Cage of Death!

Match #8: Chris Hero vs. Eddie Kingston [Last Man Standing Match]
This was awesome, but a little disappointing. Not as a regular match, but for a Hero/Kingston match, it is. Lots of really nasty strikes and great Kingston selling. Tons of HATE. This feels like a prototype for their later more insane matches, as they don't do the kind of crazy shit they would in 2006 and 2007, but it's still pretty great. Awesome bullshit finish as Hero kicks Eddie in the dick 3 times in a row quickly. Kingston obviously can't make it up before 10 after that, and Hero wins.
***

The H8 Club comes out for the main event, and a fan shoves Justice Pain, so he punches him in the face. He goes after the fan, and security quickly interjects and kicks the fan out. Maven Bentley comes out and has Justice ejected from the building, and JC Bailey comes out to replace him.

Match #9: Necro Butcher/Toby Klein vs. Nick Gage/JC Bailey [Shattered Dreams Match]
Unfortunately, this doesn't mean the winner is the first to retrieve Goldust from a pole or something, it's just that there's a lot of glass gimmicks and they have the Taipei Death Match gimmick too. Necro decides the glass shards being in buckets is bullshit and throws them all on the mat. They work the gimmick well enough, but this is not the most visually exciting gimmick. Necro does his Necro Butchery best. Toby has some sick shit too, trying to make JC swallow some shards of glass. Ends up going on too long. Necro hits a Lariat onto the shards of glass to win.
**3/4

Zandig comes out to celebrate with them and has beer. AND THEN ZANDIG ATTACKS THEM! Bailey and Gage attack them too and Zandig says fuck Necro and Toby and all the spoiled motherfuckers here. Justice Pain comes back out, AND THEY ATTACK HIM TOO! BAH GAWD ZANDIG IS WITH THE H8 CLUB! He yells fuck a lot, and says all the motherfuckers in the back couldn't handle The H8 Club all year, and he says he's booking his own shit now, and the faggot booker in the back can book all the CHIKARA faggots and PWG assholes and Canadian piece of shit, but he cares about CZ FUCKING W. He says nobody can stop them, AND FUCKING JOKER RETURNS! HEY, I LIKE JOKER! FUCK YEAH! The faces run them off and Joker challenges the three of them to fight them in Cage of Death, and it is on.

The return and Zandig's heel turn should have been spaced out more, but whatevs, it's CZW, take what you can get.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

CZW Heavyweight Champion: Ruckus, Since 2/5/2005 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY
CZW Tag Team Champions: The Kings of Wrestling, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion: Derek Frazier, Since 9/10/2005
CZW Iron Man Champion: Kevin Steen, Since 8/13/2005
CZW Ultraviolent Champion: JC Bailey, Since 8/13/2005


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CZW CAGE OF DEATH VII
DECEMBER 10TH, 2005
PHILADELPHIA, PA


Xposed Promos:
-The Kings of Wrestling talk. Hero says he was the last man standing, so he's better than Eddie Kingston. Claudio says Ruckus got lucky, and Hero says they'll beat Kingston and Sabian too.
-Zandig has a noose and he says the blood on this is his and Necro's, and it'll be Joker's at Cage of Death. He says he's putting ultraviolence back into CZW
-Niles Young says words and says he'll have Derek in a 2/3 Falls TLC Match. Wait, how? What?
-BLK-OUT cuts a promo. Robbie says everyone doubted them, but now everyone is wearing their t-shirts and you always bet on black.
-I skip the rest

Match #1: Cheech vs. Cloudy
They do a ton of totally insane spots to try and earn a job. Fucking Gargulio shits on "Hollaback Girl". Piece of shit. Not quite great, because since they mostly tag together, neither man is really complete as a singles wrestler when it comes to filling time. Lots of awesome spots though. The most insane spot was the Ghetto Stomp but from the ringpost with Cloudy hanging from the apron. BUT THEN CLOUDY RESPONDS WITH AN EVEN CRAZIER YOSHI TONIC ON THE APRON?! JESUS. They didn't exactly no-sell, so fuck it, they get full points for blowing my mind. Cheech wins with a Last Ride off the top.
***

Match #2: Mike Quackenbush/Jigsaw/Shane Storm vs. Hallowicked/Team F.I.S.T.

Typically great CHIKARA showcase. Lots of fun dives and lucha stuff. Quack beats Icarus with the QD2.
***

The Kings of Wrestling come out and Chris Hero gets on the mic. He says the CZW Tag Titles will not be defended, but it's Eddie Kingston's fault, because he's not here. He says the reason is because Eddie has checked himself into rehab. He says Eddie has had a lot of problems, being born a loser and being a failure as a professional wrestler, AND EDDIE KINGSTON COMES FROM THE CROWD! YEAH! He gets in and they bail. Hero takes the other mic up the ramp and says he has both microphones now. King gets a third and Hero asks how Blackjack Marciano is. Kingston says he may be a piece of shit, but he's not a coward, and he's not hiding from nothing. He says he and Sabian will win the belts tonight, and he's going to bust his fucking head wide open.

Match #3: DJ Hyde vs. Jon Dahmer
Well, this fucking ducked. DJ wins in a squash.
*

Before the tag, Excalibur talks about Canadian titty bars and how he refused sex from a stripper, BECAUSE THE ONLY PERSON WHO PUTS THEIR HAND DOWN EARL SEAWATER EXCALIBUR'S PANTS IS EARL SEAWATER EXCALIBUR! FUCK YEAH! What a fucking name that is. Frankie is not pro-masturbation, and Beef says masturbation is for everyone.

Match #4: Team Masturbation vs. Larry Sweeney/Frankie The Mobster
Really really fun comedy match. This is a very diverse card, the kind of thing you'd get out of peak era ROH or CHIKARA or PWG. Kudos to CZW. This is probably the peak of CZW as a company due to backstage stuff at this show which I will recap later, but still. Combo of great masturbation and dick jokes with classic comedy match staples. Beef goes onto the scaffold for COD, but he gets scared, and it allows Sweeney to schoolboy Excalibur with the tights to win.
**1/4

Match #5: Joey Ryan [c] vs. El Generico [PWG Championship]

Lots of fun. Joey's heel act is tons and tons of fun, and highlights Generico perfectly. Lots of cool and crisp highspots and Joey his basic heel stuff well enough. This is helped by having a low bar for CZW. Joey gets a schoolboy holding the ropes for the win.
***

Match #6: Nate Webb/Sexxxy Eddie vs. Sonjay Dutt/Adam Flash w/ Pandora

Well, this happened. Everybody hates this storyline and is absolutely dead for it. Dutt and Flash are the worst heels ever, and they win. Horrible.
*1/2

Necro, Toby, Joker, and BLK-OUT all come to the ring with Maven Bentley. They have a 10 bell salute for Eddie Guerrero. Of course, 1000 CZW fans can't be silent for 10 seconds, so about halfway through, someone yells "FUCK THIS, I'M TAKING A SHIT". Classy as always. AND FRANK TALENT TURNS FACE TO KICK HIM OUT! They then have Chris Cash's family member come in for a 10 bell salute to him too, and Sabian gives him an envelope with the money from the memorial show.

Match #7: Derek Frazier [c] vs. Niles Young [CZW Junior Heavyweight Championship - Best of Three Falls TLC Match]
TLC again just means that tables, ladders, and chairs are legal. Which, uh...it's CZW. Nothing is illegal. So you don't need to announce what weapons are legal. They make up for it with tons of lunatic bumps and spots, executed slightly better than the last big Niles Young gimmick match. Derek goes up 1-0 with an Inverted 450 Legdrop. Of course it's CZW, so they go too long, and amazingly, the crowd turns on them. Niles wins fall 2 with a move. They kick out of lots of shit. Derek wins with a Double Stomp from the C.O.D. scaffold. Give them points for effort.
**1/4

Match #8: The Kings of Wrestling [c] vs. Eddie Kingston/Sabian w/ BLK-OUT [CZW Tag Team Championship]

Good brawl to begin, and then the KOW take over on Sabian. Great control seg once again. Kingston has a great hot tag, and there's a lot of HATE~ on his end. Claudio uses Sabian as a tool to hit some awesome lucha bumps. Hero uses the ref as a shield to stop King. Claudio gets him with a European Uppercut from behind, and Hero hits the Hero's Welcome to win.
***

BLK-OUT chases Bryce to the back.

Hero gets on the mic and says he knows some people can't stand him, but he's asking for them all to listen. He says on January 14th, CZW returns, but they're running an afternoon show. He says they have to do this because there's a promotion that comes to Philadelphia twice a year and expects every other promotion to move their schedules to suit them, and he's sick of conforming to that bullshit when CZW is here every month and Ring of Honor comes here twice a year. He's making a stand for CZW, and says he's beaten Samoa Joe, and CM Punk, and Chris Daniels, and that brings him to the "best wrestler in the world" Bryan Danielson. HE BEAT HIM IN THE 2005 TPI AS DANIELSON WAS THE ROH WORLD CHAMPION, SO CHRIS HERO IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD! He says Bryan Danielson has an open challenge for anyone from any company, and if Bryan Danielson has the balls to come to CZW and accept his challenge, he's got the balls to go to ROH and take his fucking title!

This should have been the beginning of something incredible for CZW. The ROH/CZW feud was incredible, don't get me wrong. One of the best feuds of the 2000s, easily. But this resulted in some huge backstage drama almost right after this that basically spelled the end for CZW.

You may notice that around the spring of 2005, my reviews became more positive, and booking and the talent roster began to improve a lot. More Steen, Generico, Super Dragon, Quackenbush, the BLK-OUT/Kings of Wrestling feud, more Necro, the promos to actually spell out why matches are happening and flesh out feuds more, etc. CZW had a new booker in 2005 named Mike Burns and was behind a lot of these changes, along with some of the guys working for Smart Mark Video, his company. Zandig, who by now is no longer the promoter or booker, and basically is just the owner, loses his shit in the back at not being informed about the ROH/CZW deal. He flips out at production people and threatens no to wrestle in the main event. One of the production guys, who also ran the website and edited the web show Xposed, etc. asked why he would do that to his company. Zandig threw him down a flight of stairs, and either Burns quit or was fired, that's never really come out. Zandig yells in the back that he's changing the company back to how it was before 2005.

The result was Zandig gets dragged kicking and screaming through the ROH/CZW feud, not capitalizing while ROH makes huge huge money, in terms of indy wrestling, off of the gates in Philadelphia for the ROH/CZW matches. Also, the guys Burns and people brought in start to get phased out and Zandig takes over aspects of booking again.

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/lofiversion/index.php?t75907.html - more info here

Match #9: Kevin Steen [c] vs. Chris Sabin [CZW Iron Man Championship]
Meanwhile, the good wrestlers are still here on this night, and this match obviously delivers. They have some decent moves, although it is not quite great. Neither man is really a master of structure in any way. Sabin has a lot of fun spots and Steen, even now, is more about character than anything. Steen wins with the Package Piledriver.
**3/4

Match #10: Ruckus [c] w/ Robbie Mireno vs. Super Dragon [CZW Championship]

This has Super Dragon against a beloved small babyface, which is like a dream scenario for peak era SD, except that it isn't great. Super violent SD mauling, but it never really gets to the next level due to an accident. Ruckus hits his head on the scaffold when he climbs up top, and is clearly fucked up after that. SD pretty much dominates, and wins with the Psycho Driver. SUPER DRAGON IS CHAMPION!
**3/4

Match #11: Necro Butcher/Toby Klein/Joker vs. Zandig/The H8 Club [CAGE OF DEATH]

The cage is the one from the ROH/CZW COD match, with barbed wire on top and the scaffolds built in too. Gage and Necro begin. Necro has changed his music to "Freebird", continuing his history of incredible theme songs. Once again, Necro carries limited garbage wrestlers through a big messy gimmick match. Zandig is in next. Necro bleeds. Joker is in next, and he looks solid. Then Justice Pain, and then Toby. They have some nasty stuff, but it goes on far too long. Zandig hits the MOTHERFUCKING BOMB through a table on fire to Joker to win. Of course.
**3/4

Zandig gets on the mic and says things are going back to how they used to be. :(
Edited by Big Tuna, Jun 15 2012, 05:31 PM.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Wrestler of the Year: Mike Quackenbush (37 points)

FUN FACT: This is the first time a wrestler has won WOTY and has not been featured AT ALL in a company the next year, not due to injury. Great work, CZW!

Tag Team of the Year: The Kings of Wrestling (17 Points)

Match of the Year: The H8 Club vs. Necro Butcher/Toby Klein, Violent by Design (June 11th)

Show of the Year: Best of the Best V
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