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Simon Watches WWE - 2011
Topic Started: Jun 2 2012, 08:58 PM (12,836 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: The Miz, Since 11/22/2010 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
World Heavyweight Champion: Vacant
WWE U.S. Champion: Sheamus, Since 3/14/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


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WWE EXTREME RULES 2011
MAY 1ST, 2011
TAMPA, FL

Match #1: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton [Last Man Standing Match]

Great match yet again. Punk does awesome karate poses with a kendo stick. They do some generic hardcore spots, but also add in a lot of cool counters. Orton breaking out the awesome Back Suplex onto the barricade spot that he used to use a lot in 2004 was great. They did a great job making the spots bigger and bigger. The only false finish I thought shouldn't have been gotten up from was the Larynx Killer deal Punk did to Jeff Hardy in 2009. Orton winning all three matches in this feud is horrible, but Punk again got put over really strong in defeat. He got up from a normal RKO, an RKO on the announce table, and then got beat after an RKO off the middle rope in the corner.
***1/4

TOMORROW NIGHT: ROCK'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!

In the back, T'Lo tells Sheamus that he'll defend the US Title against Kofi in a Tables Match. Sheamus says Kofi isn't from the U.S. and he wants to see Kofi's birth certificate. OH YOU, WWE! Teddy is a moron. Why would he put his guy to defend his belt against a guy from the other show now that Kofi is on Raw?

Match #2: Sheamus [c] vs. Kofi Kingston [WWE U.S. Championship - Table Match]
This happened and sucked a lot due to Kofi. Kofi tried to brawl and it was horrible. But you can say that about anything Kofi would have tried to do. Sheamus was fine, but this was mostly Kofi. Dead crowd hurt too. Kofi wins the belt with the Boom Drop off the top through a table on the floor. Ugh.
*3/4

In the back, Todd interview Truth. He says nobody knows what a nose knows, and he can smell something. HE SMELLS A CONSPIRACY. C-O-N-SPIRACY. He says Miz and Cena are afraid of him, and Morrison stole his shot, and he can't stand a thief.

Match #3: Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Jack Swagger/Michael Cole [Country Whopping Match]
This happened. It could have been worse and I wouldn't object to someone calling it decent. Lawler performed well enough. At the very least, it was just as good as Sheamus/Kofi. JR gets in and whips at Swagger, but Cole schoolboys him to win clean. Jesus Christ.
*3/4

In the back, John Cena cuts a John Cena Promo.

Hype video for Cody/Rey.

Match #4: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes [Falls Count Anywhere]
This was awesome. Rey is great with these matches, as he's an expert at using props and the environment for cool spots. Rey uses mist randomly to blind Cody, which was really weird, and hits the 619 and Penguin Splash to win. WrestleMania was their better match, but this wasn't bad at all.
***

In the back, Layla talks to the divas and apologizes for being mean for the last few years. Beth says nobody likes her, and K2 says they like Michelle a lot less, and wishes her good luck.

Match #5: Michelle McCool vs. Layla [LOSER LEAVES TOWN]
THIS RULED. Lots of stiffness and awesome spots and violence. Really messy and ugly in the way that two people who used to be best friends now trying to kill each other should be. Layla gets a Crucifix Pin to win.
**1/4

Layla leaves, and Michelle cries in the ring. BUT FUCK THAT SHIT. KHARMA'S HERE. TIME TO DIE. IMPLANT BUSTER TO MCCOOL! YEAH!

Hype video for ADR/Christian.

Match #6: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship - Ladder Match]
They finally put on a great match! Not a ton of story, but tons of insane spots, and ADR once again is at his best in a ladder match. He takes the lion's share of the insane bumps, and yeah. Some great close calls. Christian has it won, but Brodus interferes. ADR takes Christian out and climbs up, but he is distracted by Edge honking the horn of his car at the entrance. Christian shoves his ladder over, AND CHRISTIAN GOES UP AND GETS THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE! HOLY SHIT YES!
***

Posted Image

FUCK YEAH

I'LL GO TO THE PAPERS IF I HAVE TO.

In the back, A-Ri tries to hype up the Miz, but reminds him of the bad odds, and Miz gets mad.

Match #7: Kane/The Big Show [c] vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson [WWE Tag Team Championship - Lumberjack Match]
They are smart and keep it short so the lumberjacks can't ruin it. Well, in theory. Hard to ruin this match up, since ruin implies it would have been good otherwise. Lone high point is Zeke slamming Show again. ZEKE IS ALSO IN THE FAV FIVE. So that's Wade, Zeke, and three others. Show Chokeslams Wade to win.
**

Another hype video for Rock's birthday.

Match #8: The Miz [c] vs. John Cena vs. John Morrison [WWE Championship - Steel Cage Match]
This didn't need 20 minutes. Sort of just a match. It was good, and occasionally very good with bright spots, but there's nothing really interesting going on to hook anyone. Truth comes out and beats down Morrison so he doesn't win. Cena and Miz do stuff, and Cena finally regains the belt and takes it off of Miz with a Super FU.
**3/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Christian, Since 5/1/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Raw
May 2nd, 2011
Miami, FL


TONIGHT: Rock's Birthday, Cena vs. Miz for the title

featured an in-ring promo by the Rock in which he noted he was home, said "We got him" in reference to the killing of Osama bin Laden, and said he was proud of the military; moments later, Rock led the crowd in the Pledge of Allegiance before discussing his history in Miami and with the University of Miami; Michael Cole soon interrupted with an e-mail from the Raw GM on his iPad, within the Cole Mine; as Cole went to read it, Rock noted Cole's recent matches and wins, noting maybe Cole thought he was a tough guy, and challenged Cole to read his e-mail to his face in the ring, then calling him a "drunk Hobbit jackbag bitch;" Cole then took off his shirt, revealing a Boston Celtics jersey underneath; Cole then entered the ring and said the Raw GM demanded an apology for embarassing the Raw GM at WrestleMania, or else the Rock's birthday party would be called off; Cole then said he wanted "Dwayne" to apologize for the humiliation he put Cole through over the years; Rock then said he was sorry and extended his hand, with Cole shaking it, Rock dropping him with the Rock Bottom and following with the People's Elbow; moments later, Rock introduced Pitbull, who came out and wished Rock a happy birthday before singing "Give Me Everything (Tonight)" while accompanied by the Miami Heat cheerleaders

That legitimately killed one-third of the show.

LeBron and Wade wish Rock a happy birthday in a pretape. I get it, Rock's turning heel with an equally overblown television special dedicated to him. Clever, WWE.

John Morrison comes out for a match, but R-Truth comes out to attack him from behind. He hits him with the What's Up on the floor, and referees come out to pull him off. Morrison is helped up the ramp to the back, but Truth runs back out and hits it on the stage, and then leaves.

Match #1: Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly
This lasts 30 seconds before Kharma comes out, and thus ends the match.
1/4*

She corners K2, but then turns and kills Maryse. Kelly bails, and Kharma destroys Maryse with the Implant Buster.

In the back, Miz blames A-Ri for not being ringside last night. Riley says he got drafted to Smackdown, and Miz says he has a personal services contract to him. So hey, why draft him to SD? Miz says excuses stop, and Riley has an important job tonight.

Paul Walker wishes Rock a happy birthday.

Back at the party, Rock talks to the Divas and T'Lo shows up. Rock shakes hands with Kozlov and Santino comes in as his character from Fast Five. Hornswoggle is The Scorpion King and Khali is The Tooth Fairy. Rock fistbumps Khali and Simmons comes in to hit us with the DAMN. FUCK YEAH.

Match #2: John Cena [c] vs. The Miz w/ Alex Riley [WWE Championship]
This is so so so so much better than WrestleMania. Cena's bumping big and laying in awesome body punches and leaning into everything to make Miz look great. A lot like their great Raw match in 2009 in that respect. Cena makes a great comeback as usual, and they put together some great counters for the finishing run. Miz hits Cena with the belt as A-Ri distracts the ref and he regains the belt!
***

A-Ri gives Miz the belt and the ref notices the belt in the ring, so he reverses the decision to DQ Miz! He yells at Riley for not getting the belt out of the ring, and Cena is back up by not, and he runs them both off.

Ellen Degeneres wishes Rock a happy birthday.

Footage airs from after Extreme Rules of Cena informing everyone that Osama is dead.

Alberto Del Rio comes out to do commentary.

Match #3: Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre/Jack Swagger
Rey and Drew do their best work to carry their shitty tag partners and this match. Horribly, I guess we need to protect the momentum of Jack Swagger, who's been exposed as an invention of Christian, Matt Hardy, and John Cena for at least a year now, as Drew eats the pin after the 619 and Penguin Slash.
**1/4

I'LL GO TO THE PAPERS IF I HAVE TO.

Back at the party, Rock gets mad at Vickie hating on Mae, and Rock kisses Mae. He says he gets more pie in one night than Dolph does in a lifetime. Rock turns around and John Cena is there. He says brought a gift, and it's something Rock can only get from him, and he holds up the WWE Championship. He says he will keep it until WrestleMania 28, and the biggest match ever just got even bigger. Rock tells him to just bring it, and Cena wishes him a happy birthday and leaves.

Match #4: Kane vs. Mason Ryan w/ CM Punk
This is about 90 seconds of horrible before Punk attacks Kane for the DQ.
1/2*

Otunga and Joe come out to help beat down Kane, but The Big Show runs out to save.

included a closing in-ring segment with Rock in which he said WrestleMania 28 would be the biggest WrestleMania of all time; moments later, Vince McMahon walked out to the entrance stage, thanking the Rock for what he had brought to the WWE Universe and for coming home; McMahon then introduced a video package set to Ditty Dirty Money's "I'm Coming Home" focusing on the Rock's career; following the video, Rock's mother was shown in the crowd; moments later, Justin Roberts introduced Mya to lead the crowd in singing "Happy birthday" to the Rock; Rock followed by telling his friends, family, fans, and those backstage that he loved them before streamers and balloons fell from the rafters to close the show
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Christian, Since 5/1/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Smackdown
May 6th, 2011
Orlando, FL


Christian comes out with the MOTHERFUCKING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP and says he's been waiting 17 years to hear that introduction, and he holds up the belt. He thanks the fans for their support and thanks Edge, and he's almost in tears. Mark Henry comes out and applauds. He says he was cheering for Christian not only so the belt would stay here, but because he knows he can beat him for the title. Christian says this is a gold belt, not chocolate. Khali and Singh come out and they want a shot, whatever. Khali mentioned the Khaleesi, I believe. Khali winning the title for the memory of Khal Drogo would rule. Randy Orton comes out and wants a shot. T'Lo comes out and asks the fans who should get it, and in a horrible move, they chant Randy.

In the back, Jinder talks to Khali and Singh and says he's here now and things will get better.

Match #1: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
Hey, Bryan's finally back on TV! They get some 7-8 minutes, so this was goddamned fantastic as usual. They do a great job of changing up their spots in every match. They are super stiff and brutal, Danielson takes awesome bumps, sells like the motherfucker, etc. Awesome finish where Sheamus intercepts a Tope Suicida with the Brogue Kick for the win.
***

Cody Rhodes comes out and says he's glad Rey Mysterio is on Raw because he showed his true face at Extreme Rules by cheating to beat him. He's started talking really weirdly. Kind of bugs me. He has his assistants put bags over people's faces at ringside, and he leaves in a hurry when the lights come back on and his face is exposed.

Match #2: Ezekiel Jackson vs. The Big Show
The Corre and Kane are at ringside. This is solid enough. Big Show gets distracted by the Corre, AND ZEKE KILLS HIM WITH A LARIAT TO WIN.
**

Zeke leaves by himself.

RAW REBOUND.

Match #3: Layla vs. Alicia Fox
Layla wins in about 45 seconds with the Layout.
1/2*

Kharma comes out and kills Alicia Fox but lets Layla go.

In the back, The Corre goes up to Zeke. Wade says this hasn't been working for a while now, and they can't let it be seen that he's the one walking away from them. He says to stand up so he sees this coming. Zeke just fucking smiles and tells him to make it looks good, and he elbows Wade. He kills them, but then proving wrestling is fake, they somehow overpower him. They throw a large equipment box on him and leave, and Zeke looks like he's taking a nap.

Match #4: Sin Cara vs. Tyson Kidd
Chavo Guerrero is randomly on commentary now. Solid 3 minute Cara showcase. Kidd meshes better with him than anyone so far. Cara wins with the Spanish Fly.
**

Chavo gets in, and he shakes Sin Cara's hand.

I'LL GO TO THE PAPERS IF I HAVE TO.

Match #5: Christian [c] vs. Randy Orton [World Heavyweight Championship]
This is beyond infuriating, but what may be even more infuriating is the fact that this is a fucking great match. Awesome face/face deal, and they establish Orton as SD's Ace pretty well by having him seem just a step above Christian. He's a little bit of a dick about it, and it seems like this is leading to him turning heel again finally, but lol no. That being said, the Randy Orton control seg being back for one night was awesome. Loved the idea of Christian panicking at points and trying the Killswitch so many times that Orton was always able to counter it. Orton catches Christian out of the air with the RKO to win the title. God fucking damnit. I know it's a blatant "thank you" reign, but you couldn't have let it go a fucking week minimum? Jesus.
***

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Raw
May 9th, 2011
Knoxville, TN


ADR comes out. Destiny. WWE Title. Yes. Rey wants the belt too. So does Miz, who says this show and the belt both belong to him. NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, BECAUSE R-TRUTH COMES OUT! He says he hates hospital food, and it's what John Morrison is eating a whole lot of these days, because he put him on the shelf. He says he would be happy to send the rest of them there too so they can share a room with John Morrison. Anon GM comes out and books ADR vs. Miz vs. Rey in a #1 Contender's Match tonight. Truth says this is a conpsiracy, and Rey says he hasn't earned a title match yet. Truth leaves, and he is upset and talks to himself.

Match #1: The Bella Twins vs. Eve/Kelly Kelly
This is 90 seconds of nothing. Faces win.
1/2*

Kharma comes out. The Bellas bail, and Eve gets killed. K2 is again left alone.

Match #2: Kane w/ The Big Show vs. Mason Ryan w/ New Nexus
Two minutes of horrible. New Nexus attacks for the DQ.
3/4*

ShowKane runs off New Nexus. Punk gets the KO Punch and then Mason eats the double Chokeslam.

Match #3: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Santino Marella
This is about 2 minutes. I'm glad Ziggler is on TV and all, but this really had no point. Ziggler now also has plain black trunks. Peace Zig gets the win.
*1/2

SMOCKDAWN REBOUND

In the back, Stanford interviews Truth. He says it's a conspiracy. He says he gets letters from parents. PLEASE R-TRUTH GO BACK TO SINGING "WHAT'S UP". LITTLE RONNIE LOVES TO SING "WHAT'S UP". He says that's why he's not taken seriously, and Miz, Alberto, and Mysterio need to GET GOT. And that's the truth.

In the back, Cena fist pumps with Ryder.

In the back, A-Ri apologizes to Miz. Miz calls him stupid and a failure, and Riley says he'll make it up to him.

Riley comes out to the ring and calls Cena out for a match.

Match #4: John Cena vs. Alex Riley
Decent 3 minute Cena showcase. Miz comes out to watch. Cena wins clean with the FU and then STFU.
*1/2

featured an in-ring promo by Cole in which he announced he was retiring from the ring, with Jerry Lawler then joining Cole in the ring and showing footage of Rock attacking Cole the previous week; Lawler then challenged Cole to another match, even putting his WWE Hall of Fame ring on the line and offering to induct Cole into the HOF if he won; Cole rejected the offer, then going back into his Cole Mine before insulting the fans and Lawler and making fun of the fact Lawler couldn't spend Mother's Day with his mom since she was dead; Lawler then went out to the floor and grabbed at Cole in the Cole Mine before Jack Swagger ran out and threw Lawler into the ringpost

Match #5: Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Jack Swagger [WWE U.S. Championship]
These two are still the utter drizzling shits together. Lawler comes out to distract Swagger, and Kofi hits The Fucking Kick to win.
*3/4

after the contest, Lawler grabbed through the Cole Mine and repeatedly rammed Cole's face into the glass by pulling on his tie; moments later, Lawler was pulled away by referees as Swagger checked on Cole; Swagger then took the mic and said Lawler was fired because he wasn't supposed to touch Cole, with Lawler saying he never touched Cole, only his tie; Swagger then said Cole would accept Lawler's challenge placed earlier in the show, with Cole questioning Swagger's actions as Lawler stood on top of the commentary table while the crowd cheered

Match #6: Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. The Miz [#1 Contender's Match]
This was very very good. Lots of awesome Rey spots and bumps. ADR vs. Miz wasn't as good, but whatever, still acceptable. Rey hits ADR with the 619 and Penguin Splash, but Riley comes out and pulls Rey out. Miz steals the cover for the win.
**3/4

Cena comes out and announces that it's an I Quit match at Over The Limit. R-Truth then comes from the crowd and hits Rey with the What's Up.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters, Superstars (May 12th)
Incredible match, contender for best Superstars match ever. One of those 10 minute epics. Really crisp power stuff from Masters to start, and then Drew injures the knee. Really nasty knee work. Masters' selling is once again the best part of his game. Drew has an awesome dropkick and then kip up spot. He also takes off Masters' kneepad to further hurt the knee. Masters limps whenever he makes any movement on the bad knee, and Drew keeps going to it with everything. Drew tries the backslide counter that he won with a few months back, but Masters avoids it now. Drew takes a crazy bump into the post, and Masters puts on the Masterlock to win.
***1/2
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Smackdown
May 13th, 2011
Nashville, TN


Christian comes out to open the show. He said a lot of people had a problem with Teddy Long making that match last week, 5 days after a grueling ladder match, but he understands it. He congratulates Orton on the win, but says he's getting his rematch at Over the Limit. Sheamus comes out and says he enjoyed Christian losing the title after only 5 days. FUCK YOU, ANDY. He wants Christian in a match. Mark Henry comes out and says nobody deserves that tighta shot more, but Christian then attacks both men after saying he sees where this is going. Orton runs out to save.

In the back, T'Lo goes up to Orton and Christian and makes a TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA.

Chavo Guerrero comes out to do commentary again.

Match #1: Daniel Bryan vs. Sin Cara
They get 8 minutes or so, so Danielson gets the first very good match out of Sin Cara. Not quite great, for whatever reason. Danielson controls, but doesn't get as brutal or awesome as he can be when in control. Chavo distracts him as he goes up top, and Sin Cara hits the Spanish Fly to win.
**3/4

Chavo celebrates with Sin Cara, who shoves Chavo down and POINTS~ at him.

eatured an in-ring promo by Layla in which she discussed ending Michelle McCool's career, though she injured her own knee in the process; Michael Cole then interrupted, leaving the broadcast table and entering the ring to say no one cared about Layla or any of the divas; Cole then riled up the crowd by noting Jerry Lawler was from Tennessee and saying he would beat Lawler at Over the Limit, with Lawler's Hall of Fame ring at stake; Layla responded by telling Cole to shut up; as Cole continued to insult her, Kharma appeared, with Cole tripping Layla and Kharma then dropping her with a double underhook face-first slam; moments later, Kharma turned her attention to Cole, with Cole running out of the ring and locking himself in his Cole Mine as Kharma approached

Match #2: Kane vs. Wade Barrett w/ Slabriel
This sure fucking happened. DQ ends it.
*1/2

They beat up Kane and MWAY hits the Wasteland. Zeke comes out to attack them, but is beat down again, and Gabriel hits the 450 Splash.

included an in-ring segment in which the Great Khali & Runjin Singh hosted a Khali Kiss Cam, eventually finding a woman named "Joy" from the crowd with Khali kissing her; moments later, Jinder Mahal came into the ring and twice smacked Khali in the face while yelling at him; Mahal then left Khali and Singh in the ring

Before the match, Cody gives out paper bags. He tries to give his opponent, Ted DiBiase, one too, but he throws it aside and hits Cody.

Match #3: Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase
Very good 3 minutes. Ted is much improved as a babyface. Cody wins with Cross Rhodes.
**

included Matt Striker conducting a backstage interview with WWE IC Champion Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, & Justin Gabriel regarding their actions earlier in the show, with Barrett challenging Ezekiel Jackson to a match at Over the Limit, with Slater then saying it could also be for the IC title

Match #4: Randy Orton/Christian vs. Mark Henry/Sheamus
This was awesome. Same structure as Orton/Christian vs. ADR/Clay, but MOK/Sheamus is a team with much better offense than ADR/Clay. MOK was an awesome brick wall again. It's a huge fucking shame that Christian is turning heel, because he and MOK working a long title match would have been so amazing. Christian hits Sheamus with the Killswitch to win and Orton cuts off MOK with the RKO.
***
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Raw
May 16th, 2011
San Antonio, TX


featured an opening in-ring promo by WWE World Champion John Cena, with Alex Riley interrupting before Cena could speak, saying he's heard Cena's story before - about Hustle, Loyalty, Respect and how Cena would beat Miz in their upcoming I Quit match at Over the Limit; Riley then introduced a video package of Miz repeatedly assaulting Cena in the previous weeks and months before then introducing Miz, with Miz and Riley then joining Cena in the ring; Cena replied to Riley's insults, saying he was as dumb as he was useless and that there was a reason he asked for the I Quit stipulation; moments later, Michael Cole received an e-mail from the Raw GM that stated Miz could choose the opponent and stipulation for Cena's match later in the show since Cena chose the stipulation for the pay-per-view; Miz then took the mic and said he didn't yet know what he would choose but it would be awesome

Match #1: CM Punk vs. Kofi Kingston
Punk orders New Nexus to hang back on the stage. They do stuff, and Punk wins with the GTS.
*3/4

Punk goes and sits on the stage by Nexus, and he says that was leadership by example.

Match #2: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella
Short and useless, as usual. K2 wins.
1/2*

Kharma comes out, and lays out Brie. She flicks Kelly's head on the mat, and then Nikki attacks Kharma, so she also dies.

I'LL GO TO THE PAPERS IF I HAVE TO.

Rey Mysterio comes out and he calls out R-Truth right now. Instead, Ricardo introduces ADR, and he says it's Rey's fault that he is not #1 Contender, and he challenges Rey right now, and he obviously accepts, being a babyface.

Match #3: Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio
Solid match. Not their greatest, and probably their worst match due to only being like 5 minutes. Still, not as frustrating as their 2/3 Falls match was. They do some stuff and then horribly, Ricardo trips up Rey when he tries the 619, and that is a DQ. Lame.
**1/4

Truth comes out and attacks Rey from the crowd. He calls Rey a thief and hits the What's Up. He says there's a conspiracy against him, and this is what happens when you take from him. He says he makes the challenges, not Rey, and then yells at Rey to look at him. He says this Sunday, he gon get got.

In the back, Miz is seen talking to Punk and Mason Ryan.

included an in-ring segment for the contract signing between Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole for their match at Over the Limit, with Jack Swagger joining Cole in the ring; after both men signed the contract, Cole announced that it was now a Kiss My Foot match; Cole then reviewed footage of Cole forcing Jim Ross to kiss his foot weeks earlier and then showed footage of Bret Hart forcing Lawler to kiss his own feet at the 1995 King of the Ring; Lawler responded by making fun of Cole, noting he took a former world champion and forced him to be his lackey; after Cole replied that no one even remembered Swagger once held the belt, Swagger confronted Cole and then left the ring; moments later, Cole tried to make amends with Lawler, knowing that he no longer had Swagger as his back up, but Lawler knocked him down

Match #4: Kane/The Big Show vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty w/ CM Punk & Mason Ryan
Cole announces ShowKane vs. Punk/Ryan for this Sunday. This is pretty horrible, but Show and Kane beating up these guys was enjoyable enough. Punk kicks Kane in the back of the head from the apron and Michael hits the Swinging Neckbreaker/Shitty Neckbreaker Variant to win.
*1/4

In the back, Cena WALKS~ and fistbumps Ryder.

Miz and A-Ri come out and Miz says tonight's main event will be a No Holds Barred match. He calls Cena out, and then Jack Swagger attacks him from behind, and Miz says his opponent is Swagger.

Match #5: John Cena vs. Jack Swagger [No Holds Barred]
This is probably the least shitty Swagger match since his feud with Rey ended last summer. This isn't great, but Cena is much better than Kofi. There's no real reason for the NHB stip, since they do nothing illegal, but it was an acceptable match. Cena gets the STFU to win.
**1/4

Miz gets on the mic and speaks in monotone about how he's going to do something to Cena at OTL that he's never seen before.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Smockdawn
May 20th, 2011
Corpus Christi, TX

Match #1: Christian vs. Sheamus

Like always with these two, they don't seem to click exactly right, and as a result, the match is very very good instead of great. Both men look great individually, but it's just not coming together. Christian wins with an inside cradle.
**3/4

MOK comes out to attack and it is a 2 on 1. Randy Orton comes out and watches for a little bit before coming out to save once Christian is fighting back. What a piece of shit.

RAW REBOUND!

Match #2: Natalya vs. Brie Bella w/ Nikki Bella
This is short and a whole lot of nothing. Twin Magic gets the win for Brie.
3/4*

Match #3: Ezekiel Jackson/Kane/The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Wade has some good moments for the first time in like six months. Good for him. Zeke looks awesome again. They do some stuff and Zeke beats Gabriel with the Torture Rack.
**

In the back, Orton talks to Christian and he says he wants him at 100% for Over The Limit, to see if he really can beat him at 100%. Christian says he has a funny way of showing it.

Chavo Guerrero comes out and says while it took his protege Sin Cara over 10 minutes to beat Daniel Bryan last week, he's going to beat Daniel in 5 minutes or less tonight and show just how much better he is than that ungrateful loser.

Match #4: Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero [5 Minute Challenge]
This is mostly Danielson and Chavo doing matwork, so it's a lot of fun. Chavo hits the Frog Splash, but Daniel kicks out and time expires.
**1/4

Chavo attacks him again, and Sin Cara runs out and clears him from the ring.

Cody Rhodes comes out at Ted's side, and hands out paper bags. Cody says to stop looking at him and to put the bags over their heads. He gives one to Ted and says to put it on, and Ted does it. He says Ted is ugly like all of them and yells to shut up and put the bags on their heads. Ted takes the bag off and says to bring out his opponent.

Match #5: Ted DiBiase w/ Cody Rhodes vs. Trent Baretta
Solid 90 seconds. Ted wins with Dream Street.
*1/2

Cody puts a bag on Trent's head post-match.

I'LL GO TO THE PAPERS IF I HAVE TO.

Match #6: The Great Khali vs. Jey Uso
This was an assload of fuck. Jinder comes out to slap Khali, which turns him into a monster again and he wins with the Baba Chop and a Tree Slam.
Poop/54

In the back, Striker interviews Orton and asks why he let Christian get beaten down a bit before saving if he wants Christian at 100%, and he says 99% should be good enough, since Christian won't beat him anyways. Wow. What a piece of shit. His heel turn is going to rule!

Match #7: Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Not as great of a match as their fall stuff, but very good none the less. Orton is still not a great face, but he's gotten much much better at it in 2011. Awesome Henry performance as a brick wall monster heel, and Orton sold well enough. They get cut off too soon, as fucking Sheamus attacks Orton for a DQ.
**3/4

Christian comes out as Orton is double teamed, and then eventually saves. Orton is mad at him for not saving him sooner. Oh, fuck you.
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Big Evil
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On TBS. Very Funny.

Randy Orton is accidentally going to get carried to WOTY.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


Posted Image

WWE OVER THE LIMIT 2011
MAY 22ND, 2011
SEATTLE, WA

Match #1: Rey Mysterio vs. R-Truth

Truth's mic work is the best in the company at this point, but he is still not much in the ring and has trouble working heel, probably due to being rusty at it. They don't mesh well at all, so this just kind of happens. At least WWE is finally learning to strike while the iron is hot, as Truth wins clean with the What's Up. That needs to be rennamed now.
**

Post-match, Truth hits Rey with the WATER BOTTLE OF CERTAIN DEFEAT.

In the back, The Miz cuts a promo.

Match #2: Wade Barrett [c] vs. Ezekiel Jackson [WWE Intercontinental Championship]
Decent. More flashes of good stuff from Wade and Zeke's power spots were fantastic. He had quite a good comeback and he put on the Torture Rack, but Slater and Gabriel come out to attack him for the DQ.
**1/4

They beat him down in a 3 on 1, and Wade hits the Wasteland.

BUY WRESTLEMANIA 27 ON DVD.

In the back, Punk and Mason find the McGillibuddies laid out. Mason is mad, but Punk doesn't care and says it's good because it means they're in ShowKane's heads.

Match #3: Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
This happened. Less of a mess than it would get talked about as, but not smooth by any means. Chavo did a stupid thing and killed time by working the legs, which is awful against a guy who needs his legs for everything and is not good at selling. Cara's spots are mostly really pretty looking though. The finish is the most hideous thing I've ever seen, as Sin Cara fucks up La Mistica horribly before getting the pin.
**1/4

DON'T BE A BULLY, BE A STAR.

In the back, Todd interviews both Christian and Randy Orton. Christian reiterates that he's not mad at Orton for winning the title and says maybe he'd be more upset if he didn't know for sure that he could beat him. Orton says he has a great feelgood story, but he's already beaten him, and there is no happy ending when you fight Randy Orton.

Alberto Del Rio comes out, and he says he wants to talk about a very serious issue, and that is immigration! The crowd boos, and he says he understands they have a big problem with immigrants, and he hates those sneaky Canadians too. He said he would make Cena or Miz say "I Quit" tonight, and his destiny will not be stopped. Kane and Big Show come out, and Kane says he's already angry that the Rapture didn't happen yesterday. AMAZING. Kane threatens him, and ADR leaves.

Match #4: Kane/The Big Show [c] vs. CM Punk/Mason Ryan [WWE Tag Team Championship]
Well, Punk does what he can. Bumps big, looks good on offense, etc. Kane and Show aren't trying, and Mason is easily the worst wrestler on the roster. Mason loses to a Double Chokeslam.
**

HORRIBLE ADVERTISEMENT FOR CAPITOL PUNISHMENT.

Match #5: Brie Bella [c] w/ Nikki Bella vs. Kelly Kelly
Shart. Brie wins.
Rape Vomit

Hype video for Orton/Christian.

Match #6: Randy Orton [c] vs. Christian [World Heavyweight Championship]
The commentary team is just Josh/Booker for this match, which means they can focus on the story and what not. Josh is also the best so far at guiding Booker T's incoherency to an actual point. Plus, no Cole/Lawler bickering. As for the match, it was great shit. Perfect face/face match with a lot of tension. They worked a basic story of them topping each other, with Christian growing outmatched as it went on. Really fantastic Orton performance here as the Ace (of Smackdown), easily his best in at least a year and a half. Booker starts getting to legitimately awesome insights about how Christian doesn't usually pick up opponents unless he's worried about them and how he hasn't had to actually ground an opponent in years, which does a great job getting over the story that Orton is just flat out better. It's a depressing narrative (although Christian gets like 75% less awesome in the ring as a heel, so it becomes more even for their later matches, strangely) because it's not true at all, but it's done super fucking well. Orton did a shockingly great job selling too. Feels like someone sat him down, made him watch 2007 Cena footage and said "work like this", and he did the best he could but fell just a little bit short since his clotheslines still suck and the Flying Dick Thesz Press and Angle Slam are still questionable. Which is less of an insult to him than a compliment to 2007 Cena. They did a ton of amazing counters in the finishing run. They even played off the finish to their 2005 Raw match, which is totally insane and fantastic. Christian backflips out of a Back Suplex, but Orton then hits the RKO to win.
***1/2

Hype video for Cole/Lawler.

following his entrance, Cole came out not dressed for the match and walking with a limp, then took the mic and read a prepared statement in which he said he was medically prohibited from competing, citing a note from his doctor which he said Cole's athlete's foot was too severe; Cole then gave the referee the note to read, with the referee ripping up the note and calling for the bell

Match #7: Jerry Lawler vs. Michael Cole [Kiss My Foot Match]
Lawler beats the shit out of Cole for three minutes and wins with the Fist Drop. This should have been at Mania.
*

after the contest, Lawler waved for someone to come out, with Eve appearing and hitting a moonsault off the top; moments later, Jim Ross came out, wearing a suit, and poured a bottle of his barbecue sauce over Cole's body; Cole then rolled out of the ring and walked up the ramp, taking a mic and saying he wasn't a loser like Lawler and Ross and would never kiss Lawler's foot; Bret Hart then walked out, scaring Cole into the ring, and applying the Sharpshooter on Cole in the middle of the ring as Lawler put his foot in Cole's mouth; Ross then joined Booker T & Matthews on commentary for the main event

Match #8: John Cena [c] vs. The Miz w/ Alex Riley [WWE Championship - I Quit Match]
Miz's big surprise? A-Ri helping him and turning it into a handicap match. This is a great example of the huge flaw with how Miz has been booked since winning the WWE Title for the most part. They have him speak in monotone, telling Cena everything he does before he does it. And as such, it is them trying to force Miz into doing a version of the incredible Cena/Orton I Quit Match, but The Miz is not that guy. He's not convincing as a violent psychopath who feels no emotion at all. He is a sneaky cowardly opportunistic piece of shit. OH ALSO, IT GOES LIKE 26 MINUTES. A-Ri plays a tape of Cena saying he quits, but then the ref sees him holding his phone, so he restarts the match. Cena doesn't sell anything and easily wins with the STFU. Easily the worst main event of the year.
*3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Kane/The Big Show, Since 4/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Raw
May 23rd, 2011
Tampa, FL


Jerry Lawler brings out Bret to open the show and derp, he talks about Cole until THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. He gets in the ring and says this is a real honor and says while Bret is a former 90 time WWE Champion, he's never even had a title shot. Bret says he had to work for 8 years in the WWE before he got a shot. The crowd boos and Truth says they ain't got no home training. Truth takes Bret's glasses and goes to give them to a kid and says giving them to a Little Jimmy should get him a title shot too. Truth throws the glasses back at Bret and gets back in though, and asks if he has to beat up a Hall of Famer for a title shot. Anon GM rings in and books Cena/Rey vs. Truth/Punk tonight with Bret as the ref. John Cena comes out and asks Truth what he's doing and says they used to be cool. USED TA IS A ROOSTER FROM BREWSTER. Truth says there is a conspiracy here, and it's all about protecting Cena, and he never liked John, and he's GON GIT GOT. He leaves, and Cena then gives the glasses to the fan that Truth picked on.

In the back, Show and Kane lean on ADR's car. Ricardo yells at them, but Show shoves him over like a dick and ADR yells at them in Mexican. They walk off.

Match #1: Kane/The Big Show [c] vs. David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty w/ CM Punk & Mason Ryan [WWE Tag Team Championship]
This was awful. Otunga and Joe are THE WORST on offense, and Punk kicks Show in the head from the apron and Otunga covers him to kill the title belts.
3/4*

Clips air of Orton signing copies of his shitty DVD.

In the back, Stanford tries to interview Kane and Big Show, but ADR comes on and slaps Big Show! He runs off and show chases him. The camera is knocked over, and it comes back on as Kane runs to find Show down and Ricardo driving a car that hit him. ADR and Ricardo flee, and Show's leg is fucked up.

Match #2: Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
Bourne once again makes this pile of fuck not look totally useless. Doctor Bomb ends it, shamefully.
**

included a segment in which Cole walked out, to chants of "You suck toes," with Cole taking the mic and saying he wanted to apologize to Lawler, Matthews, the crew, and the fans; Cole then added that all he wanted to do was commentate alongside Lawler, not wrestle or have the Cole Mine; Lawler then took the mic and showed a still photo of Cole sucking his foot while caught in the Sharpshooter the previous night before offering Cole some Altoids

The Miz and A-Ri come out to the ring and Miz gets on the mic and says this is all Riley's fault and he is the only reason he didn't win the title. He says this is habitual and he asks Anon GM for a rematch with Riley banned from ringside. Miz says Riley is so useless that HE was in the handicap match last night, not Cena. Nothing happens, and Miz says he won't leave the ring until Anon GM chimes in. Anon GM says his title request is denied and Miz is done with Cena. YES. Miz then yells at A-Ri and fires and slaps him, SO A-RI STARTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THE MIZ! FUCK YEAH! AWESOME BEATING! He beats the shit out of him, tears up his lame suit, and leaves. SAY IT TO MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

An eight diva tag never gets started as Kharma comes out. They all surround her, but she drops down to her knees and starts crying. Wait, what? What the fuck?

Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre
Drew gets something not totally loathesome out of this huge pile of shit for 4 minutes. Then he has to put him over, after Kofi's godawful Ranhei. Dolph and Vickie are watching in the back.
**

Horrible Capitol Punishment commercial.

BE A STAR.

The really incredible Randy Savage tribute video airs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDvXVP2iSNs

Match #4: John Cena/Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk/R-Truth [Special Referee: Bret Hart]
Punk has his awesome Savage tribute gear on. This is basically a "send them home happy" house show main event, but Punk vs. Rey is awesome yet again, and Punk vs. Cena delivers. Cena vs. Truth is horrible, but the feud has already begun. Good Rey hot tag. Punk shoves Bret, so Bret puts him in the Sharpshooter and Rey drops the dime. Bret then counts to three. Bullshit.
**1/2
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Smackdown
May 27th, 2011
Spokane, WA


Randy Orton comes down to the ring and. talks. about. his. match. at. Over. The. Limit. Christian comes out and congratulates him. He says it was one of the best matches of his career, and says he wants ONE MORE MATCH. Sheamus comes out and says Christian doesn't know when to quit, like he's a gambling addict on a losing streak. MOK HENRAY comes out and says Edge is on a retirement golf course waiting for Christian right now, and he shouldn't miss his tee time. He says the World's Strongest Man doesn't wait in lines, and he wants the title shot. T'Lo comes out and books a three way for a title shot next week.

Match #1: Sin Cara vs. Chavo Guerrero
This is much better, as Chavo now understands how to take La Mistica. Decent 5 minute Cara showcase.
**1/4

Match #2: Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan

Danielson works Cody into his formula perfectly. Great matwork, and then Danielson takes a huge bump to lead in, but then they cut it horribly with a commercial in a match that was only like 8 minutes. So this got like 4 minutes. Danielson wins with the LeBell Lock.
**1/4

Cody attacks post-match and puts the bag on Danielson's head.

Horrible C.P. promo. Fuck you.

Match #3: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Heath Slater
Fun 2:30 Zeke mauling. This is what he should be doing, not having to work normal longish matches. Wade and Gabriel come out to attack for the DQ.
**

Zeke runs them all off. DOMINATION.

In the back, Striker interviews Christian. He says he was the last guy anyone thought could make it, but he won the title, and he's always been an overachiever. He says Captain Charisma will always get the last laugh.

Match #4: Kane vs. The Great Khali w/ Runjin Singh
HORRIBLE. FUCKING AWFUL. WHY? KANE WON.
FUCK YOU

after the bout, Jinder Mahal came out to the ring and, in Punjab, insulted Khali; moments later, Singh had words with Mahal, with Mahal shoving Singh and Khali eventually putting Singh in the head vice; after Singh passed out, Khali and Mahal left the ring together

RAW REBOUND

featured an in-ring segment in which Booker T asked that Michael Cole join him in the ring, with Booker then making fun of Cole for having lost his Kiss My Foot match to Jerry Lawler at Over the Limit and Cole returning to the broadcast table as the crowd chanted "Kiss my feet;"

In the back, Striker interviews Sheamus, who says Christian's time is over and MOK has been in the WWE since Bill Clinton was president and hasn't done anything. Jesus Christ, Sheamus, you are a stupid motherfucker.

Match #5: Tamina/Alicia Fox vs. AJ/Kaitlyn w/ Natalya
Natalya is mentoring them. AND FUCK YEAH, AJ AND KAITLYN! This is about a minute though, and the heels win.
1/2*

In the back, Striker interviews MOK. Mark asks what he thinks and says Sheamus said he hasn't been relevant since Bill Clinton was President. Striker says he said only that Mark had been here that long. MOK asks if he's calling him a bad listener. Striker is terrified and MOK yells YOU A MAN, AINT'CHA? SAY SOMETHING. ANSWER ME, BOY. Striker says he's not saying that, and Mark says that's what he thought, and he leaves. So great.

A far lesser Savage video airs.

Match #6: Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Mark Henry [#1 Contender's Match]
This is the closest we'll get to Christian vs. MOK with Christian as a face and MOK as a heel for now, unless they do a long-ish match when MOK returns, which would be great. Orton comes out to watch at ringside. Everyone looked good here. Sheamus, much like Randy, continues to benefit from MOK and Christian being involved with him. MOK shoves Orton on the floor at the end and Orton gets in and RKOs him. As the ref deals with Orton, Christian has Sheamus beat. He gets up to see what happened, and turns around into the Brogue Kick and Sheamus wins.
**3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Raw
May 30th, 2011
Omaha, NE


R-TRUTH IN THE MERCH STAND, CLASSIC SHIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mcjf0HqPJws

There is no video of the next part, as Truth goes into the crowd and finds a family in Cena t-shirts and other merch, the kid obviously with the whole set. There is no sound here due to technical problems, and Truth then goes and cuts a probably amazing promo in the ring, but again, no sound. Cena comes out and I skip to the part where sound happens. Truth yells at the fans to shut up while men are talking. Cena's all like THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT JIMMIES, THEY ARE THE GREATEST, AND YOU ARE CRAZY. Cena accepts a match if he wants one, and Anon GM rings in and books Truth vs. Cena in the main event.

Match #1: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
Dolph carries Kofi to the best match since the last time they fought. Dolph has his blond hair back, and has his powers back as a result. Ziggler carries Kofi through matwork. They only had like 6 minutes, so it wasn't great, but whatever. Ziggler blocks the Ranhei by grabbing the ropes and hits the Peace Zig for the clean win.
**3/4

included an in-ring promo by Alberto Del Rio, accompanied by Ricardo Rodriguez, in which he discussed the injury the previous week to the Big Show, saying it was a mistake but bad things happen to bad people; Del Rio then told Show he would send him the bill to fix his car, told him to get well soon before then winking and leaving the ring

TONIGHT: Punk vs. Rey, a Kharms statement

Match #2: Eve/Kelly Kelly vs. The Bella Twins
This got 3 minutes, but that did not make it good suddenly. The faces won.
1/2*

Michael Cole recaps the A-Ri face turn and brings him out to the ring. SAY IT TO MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. Cole says Riley has been signed to Raw and shits on him for being a backstabber and says Miz was like a father to him. Riley says it felt great to stand up for himself, and he shoves Cole. Miz comes out to attack him, and they have another good brawl. A-Ri throws Miz over the announce table, and Miz bails away through the crowd.

Match #3: CM Punk w/ Mason Ryan vs. Rey Mysterio
Only 7 minutes, but very good. Rey has an awesome dive, and then they have a great quick finishing run. Punk counters the Huracanrana counter to the GTS and backflips Rey out and then hits a Roundhouse Kick to KO Rey for the pin and the win.
**3/4

TOUGH ENOUGH RECAP.

ncluded an in-ring promo by Kharma in which she said many said her being in WWE was impossible, noting Jim Ross said she was too fat so she went to Japan to train; Kharma then admitted that she was pregnant; moments later, WWE Divas Champion Brie Bella & Nikki Bella interrupted, calling Kharma fat and saying she wasn't diva material; after they continued to insult her, Kharma replied by saying she hoped they would still be around when she returns to the ring

Match #4: Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Good 3 minutes! Bourne makes Swagger look awesome again AND WINS WITH A CRADLE! FUCK YEAH RANDOM BOURNE SUMMER PUSH!
**

In the back, Cena fistbumps Ryder.

Match #4: John Cena vs. R-Truth
This is only like 4 minutes and more of an angle than anything. Like 50% of it is Truth stalling, which is super entertaining and all, but doesn't exactly add to the match. Cena goes after him and they brawl. Truth throws Cena to the crowd and gets back in to win by count out.
*1/2

Truth runs through the crowd and grabs the kid's soda from earlier and throws it in his dad's house. Cena chases after him, and then checks on the family.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Top 10 Matches - May 2011:

1. Randy Orton [c] vs. Christian, Over the Limit (May 22nd)
2. Drew McIntyre vs. Chris Masters, Superstars (May 12th)
3. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton, Extreme Rules (May 1st)
4. Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio, Extreme Rules (May 1st)
5. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (May 6th)
6. Christian [c] vs. Randy Orton, Smackdown (May 6th)
7. John Cena [c] vs. The Miz, Raw (May 2nd)
8. Randy Orton/Christian vs. Mark Henry/Sheamus, Smackdown (May 13th)
9. Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes, Extreme Rules (May 1st)
10. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Mark Henry, Smackdown (May 27th)

Wrestler of the Month: Christian/Rey Mysterio (TIE) (16 Points)

Tag Team of the Month: Kane/The Big Show (7 Points)
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Smackdown
June 3rd, 2011


This is the second SD that is blatantly missing from the 2011 pack. Which sucks, as I wanted to see the Christian heel turn.

featured a vignette on Sheamus to promote his World Heavyweight Title match later in the show against Randy Orton; included anti-bullying comments from Booker T, Alicia Fox, Daniel Bryan, Christian, the Big Show, WWE US Champion Kofi Kingston, Eve, Nikki Bella & WWE Divas Champion Brie Bella; featured a vignette promoting Sin Cara; included an in-ring promo by Cody Rhodes in which he compared Daniel Bryan to the audience before having his attendants pass out paper bags for the ringside fans; Rhodes then said Bryan would eventually sit in the crowd to see Rhodes win the WWE World Title; featured Matt Striker conducting a backstage interview with the Great Khali about his actions to Runjin Sing the previous week; moments later, Jinder Mahal appeared and said he would lead Khali by example later in the show; included a "Did you know?" graphic which read Smackdown was SyFy's most watched show for the 35th consecutive week; featured an ad promoting 'That's What I Am;' featured doctored footage from a President Obama press conference in which he fielded various questions about the upcoming Capital Punishment event; included Striker conducting a backstage interview with Sheamus regarding his title shot against Orton with Christian as the referee; moments later, Sheamus confronted Christian and said, if it was up to him, he'd be happy to have the match be a three-way; Christian then called Sheamus a liar and told him to worry more about Orton; featured an ad promoting WrestleMania 27 on DVD and Blu-ray; included a "Did you know?" graphic that read WWE has more Facebook fans than ESPN, Pepsi, MLB, Gatorade, NASCAR, and the NFL; featured a backstage promo by Johnny Curtis in which he said, by winning NXT, he earned a tag team title shot with his pro R-Truth; but, because that wasn't happening, Curtis fake cried and poured milk over his head:

Christian pinned Mark Henry with the Killswitch at 4:28 after ramming Henry into the corner when Henry missed a charge; after the commercial break, Christian took the mic, discussed his win, and said he should be the one, not Sheamus, challenging World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton later in the show; Christian then said he deserved one more title shot, prompting Teddy Long to appear; Christian polled the crowd as to whether he should be the #1 contender, with the audience cheering but Long said he couldn't make it happen; he then suggested making the title match a three-way, with Long appointing Christian the guest referee for the title match

Tamina & Alicia Fox (w/ Rosa Mendes) defeated AJ & Kaitlyn (w/ Natalya Neidhart) at 2:00 when Tamina pinned AJ with a Samoan drop; during their entrance, a pretaped backstage segment was shown of AJ, Kaitlyn, & Natalya discussing the upcoming match

Jinder Mahal (w/ the Great Khali) pinned Yoshi Tatsu at 1:12 with a full nelson slam; after the bout, Khali applied the head vice on Tatsu under Mahal's orders (Mahal's TV in-ring debut)

Ezekiel Jackson defeated WWE IC Champion Wade Barrett via count-out at 4:08 when Barrett fell out to the floor and could not reenter after Jackson attempted to put him in the Torture Rack; late in the contest, Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel appeared ringside to distract Jackson; after the bout, Jackson assaulted Slater & Gabriel while Barrett returned backstage

Daniel Bryan defeated Ted Dibiase Jr. via submission with the LeBell Lock after a reversal at 9:26; late in the bout, Cody Rhodes and one of his attendants appeared ringside; after the match, Bryan was double teamed by Dibiase and Rhodes until Sin Cara made the save, cleared Rhodes from the ring, and hit La Mistica on Dibiase

World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton pinned Sheamus with the RKO at 14:29; late in the bout, Christian appeared to injure himself after Sheamus collided with him, preventing him from counting Orton down after the champion sustained the boot to the face; moments later, the challenger shoved Christian, with Christian then punching him in the face leading to the RKO; after the match, Christian held up Orton's hand before eventually hitting him with the title belt, saying he knows he could beat him, and then holding up the title belt; Christian then took the belt with him as he left ringside to a mixed reaction

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Raw
June 6th, 2011
Richmond, VA


So yeah, the Tough Enough finale is the intro. Big Andy wins. Good. Fuck you, Luke. Vince wants to pick Luke. Goddamnit, Vince. Vince slaps the shit out of Andy, who bumps way too big for a big dude for an elderly man's slap. Austin gives him the Stunner, and Andy leaves because he is not worthy. They drink, BUT FUCK THAT!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9aUn6K0oolE#t=389s

Posted Image

WHEN LITTLE JIMMIES COME MARCHING HOME HOORAH HOORAH! Truth is dressed in a fucking Confederate uniform, and Vince has to love this. He says he was told to apologize for last week, and Vince plays a recap video. He says he's sorry, and that he's a GOOD R-TRUTH. He apologizes to Big and Little Jimmy, and the soda. Austin says he should be sorry for dressing like a jackass. Truth says he did his homework and he knows where he's at, and like Virginia seceeded, he is secceeding from the WWE Universe. He says all he wants is his title match, and nobody's gonna make no money off of him. DIDDLY SQUAT. He says there's a conspiracy and asks Vince to tell them. Vince asks if his first name is just R, and he says correct. AMAZING. Vince says his office is open and asks about a conspiracy. C-O-N-...SPIRACY. AAAAAAWESOME~! THE MIZ COMES OUT TOO! Miz says this conspiracy is made up, and he says he deserves a title match more than Truth. AND A-RI COMES OUT! Riley says all Miz deserves is a third beatdown, and Miz hides behind Vince. Yohn Cheyna comes out and recaps everything. It is awful, but he at least puts over Riley for having balls now. Vince books Miz/Truth vs. Cena/A-Ri with Austin as the ref.

Match #1: Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty
Both partners are there. This somehow gets 5 minutes, but that does not make it good. Santino wins with the Cobra.
*1/2

Match #2: Beth Phoenix/Kelly Kelly vs. The Bella Twins

Once again, short and useless. Beth wins with the Glam Slam.
3/4*

featured a backstage segment with Booker T and Trish Stratus in which Booker taught Trish how to do the Spinarooni, with Jack Swagger then interrupting and challenging Booker to a match

CM Punk comes out and sits on the stage. He says he beat Rey last week, and he says he's beaten Rey well over 600 times, and Rey petitioned for a rematch yet again. He says Rey has never beaten him, and Punk says he will beat him again to prove the unyielding power of his new Nexus.

Match #3: CM Punk w/ Mason Ryan vs. Rey Mysterio
They get a full 8 minutes uninterrupted by commercial, so this is great. Lots of fast paced stuff early on, great Rey dive, and then Punk takes over. He knows now not to focus on a body part, but stick with general torture. Rey makes his usual awesome comeback, and hits maybe his most beautiful Springboard Crossbody ever, as it almost looks like he's in slow motion (in a good way) when he turns. Mason distracts him again, but he ducks the kick now, and hits a Tornado DDT and the Penguin Splash to win.
***

Horrible PPV ad.

WWE ALL STAR NIGHT: 3 HOURS! NEXT WEEK! BOO!

included a promo by Alberto Del Rio in the ring in which he invited the Big Show out to the ring so they could iron out their differences; moments later, Ricardo Rodriguez, dressed as Show and on crutches, came out to the ring; Del Rio then continued to make fun of Show, finishing by telling "Show" to never disrespect him again; moments later, Rodriguez took off his bald cap and repeatedly introduced Del Rio

Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out to do commentary.

Match #4: Kofi Kingston vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder looks decent, but this is a 2 minute Kofi showcase, for some reason. He wins with The Fucking Kick. Ziggler spends all match hyping up Z! True Long Island Story. They used to be bros :(
*1/2

In the back, Cena tells A-Ri that he doesn't trust him.

Match #5: Booker T vs. Jack Swagger
This happens. Booker does his offense for the nostalgia pop, and Swager leaves to lose by count out.
*1/2

Miz vs. A-Ri is announced for Capitol Punishment.

Match #6: John Cena/Alex Riley vs. The Miz/R-Truth [Special Referee: Steve Austin]
Solid enough 7 minutes. Not a lot to brag about or that stood out as great, but nothing awful. Very average. A-Ri seems to be much better suited to being a babyface. Miz gets the Stunner and then the FU and Cena covers him for the win.
**1/4

Anon GM rings in to say that Cena and A-Ri are DQ'd for Austin's interference. He makes Austin the GM for next week, and Austin drags Cole in, and he gets the Stunner and FU as well, and Cena and Austin drink.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Smackdown
June 10th, 2011
Roanoke, VA


Christian comes out to open the show with the World Heavyweight Title. He says he can hear the cheers in the crowd, and he's glad his Peeps can understand why he did what he did last week. He says he was screwed out of his World Title and screwed out of a #1 Contender's Match by Randy Orton. He says a lot of them, most of them, don't get it, but the same people who went online to complain about him losing the World Title are the same people who were mad about what he did last week. He says he will be Champion again, and this time he's doing it for himself.

Wade/Zeke for the belt at C.P. is announced.

Match #1: Ezekiel Jackson/The Usos vs. Wade Barrett/Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel
This is a solid 5 minutes. The Usos suck less as faces. Wade walks out on The Corre, and Zeke beats Gabriel with the Torture Rack.
**

In the back, Sheamus demands that T'Lo books him against Christian. He says this is all Teddy's fault and he had Orton beat, so T'Lo books him against Orton in a No DQ match.

In the back, Slabriel yells at Wade about how they're supposed to be equals. Wade says he made them, and they quit The Corre.

Match #2: Jinder Mahal w/ The Great Khali vs. Trent Baretta
Horrible short squash. Mahal is the worst, and he wins with the Uncle Slam.
1/2*

Mahal makes Khali put the Vice on Trent.

In the back, Tamina and Rosa give AJ a brick of cheese and they say that's for her, since she's a mousy little girl. If she was smart, she'd carve her name out of that, it's a nice sized brick of cheese. AJ says LayCool wants their gimmick back. Rosa says she has nobody here tonight, and Natalya comes over. Tamina says it looks like someone cut the cheese. That is hilarious in retrospect.

Match #3: AJ vs. Tamina
Natalya and Rosa are there. This is like 90 seconds, and AJ wins with a roll up.
3/4*

featured an in-ring promo by Orton in which he said he wanted Christian to come out and repeat what he said about him earlier to his face; moments later, Christian appeared on the big screen, outside the arena, and goaded Orton into accepting a title match with him at Capital Punishment; moments later, Christian got in his car and drove away

In the back, Ted and Cody talk and Ted asks why he's gone insane, and his face isn't that busted up at all. Cody gets up and says he's hideous now, and in Ted's words, he had his face busted up. He says only after he lost everything did he feel free to do anything, and he could be crazy, like he says, or he could be a genius.

Match #4: Daniel Bryan/Sin Cara vs. Priceless
IT'S A NEW DAY! Also, when in tag matches, Sin Cara's lighting is off. Solid 6 minutes or so. Sin Cara was a little rough against Ted, but that's to be expected since I highly doubt Ted has any experience with lucha bumping. Priceless has their usual solid but not overwhelmingly great control seg. Danielson has a good hot tag and Ted taps to the LeBell Lock.
**1/2

RAW REDOUNB

Match #5: Randy Orton vs. Sheamus [No DQ]
The highlight of this is Booker putting Sheamus in the FAVE FIVE. These two still don't work great together, but this is their least shitty match after WWE has been running this match up on and and off for 18 months. They have some cool spots at the end, and yeah. Christian runs back down with the belt and he hits Orton with the belt, and Sheamus covers him for the win.
**3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


WWE Raw - ALL STAR NIGHT
June 13th, 2011
Long Island, NY


The Miz comes out to open the show and he says at Capitol Punishment, he will expose Alex Riley to levels nobody in DC has seen since an Anthony Weiner tweet. He says Steve Austin owes him an apology, and he is tired of yesterday's stars coming back to steal his spotlight. Steve Austin comes out and gets on the mic. He says he was here the day after WrestleMania too, and while The Miz ran out of the ring like a gutless jackass, A-Ri at least had the guts to hit him. He grabs Miz by the tie and tells him to show up later on, because he and Riley would be guests on PIPER'S PIT! YEAH! Miz leaves, and ADR comes out. Destiny. And what not. Austin brings out his opponent, and it's Kane.

Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kane
This is all of 2 minutes of nothing. ADR is DQ'd after refusing to let go of the Jujigatame in the ropes.
*3/4

Big Show comes running out, AND FUCKING DESTROYS RICARDO WITH PUNCHES JESUS CHRIST! ADR runs to the back, and Austin comes out and books ADR vs. Show at Capitol Punishment.

In the back, Ricardo is stretchered out.

Match #2: Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan/Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett/Priceless
This only got 3 minutes because three hour Raws are awful for wrestling matches 9 times out of 10. Still, there's enough good people in here to make it good. Sin Cara's bullshit lighting is back, and he beats Wade with a really pretty Crossbody.
**

featured an in-ring segment in which Hornswoggle shot T-shirts into the ring only to be interrupted by R-Truth, who came out saying Hornswoggle looked to be having a lot of fun and that he would beat WWE World Champion John Cena at Capital Punishment; Hornswoggle then shot Truth with the T-shirt gun, with Truth immediately saying it was OK and they were cool but then kicking Hornswoggle in the face; Austin then appeared on the big screen, revealing John Morrison was with him backstage, and then said Truth would face Morrison later in the show; Truth responded by stomping Hornswoggl

Match #3: Sheamus vs. Santino Marella
Enjoyable squash for Sheamus. He wins with the Brogue Kick, and a decent looking Texas Cloverleaf.
*3/4

featured an in-ring promo by World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton in which he said he would hurt Christian at Capital Punishment before asking that Christian come out to the ring so he could talk to him; moments later, Christian appeared on the big screen and said Orton was practically born into the WWE while Christian had to fight and crawl for everything he's earned, and that he wouldn't be coming to the ring; Orton then said it was a shame Edge wasn't around to carry Christian to the ring like he's been carrying him 17 years; Christian then came out to the stage, immediately backing away as he had security hold Orton back; moments later, Michael Cole received an e-mail from the Raw GM that stated Orton knew he had a concussion and wouldn't be wrestling anyone during the show and should instead focus on facing Christian, and if he didn't comply and leave the arena he would be stripped of the title; after Orton went backstage, Austin appeared on the big screen and said Christian could instead face Rey Mysterio Jr. up next

Match #4: Christian vs. Rey Mysterio
This shows off the great conundrum that is Christian's WWE run from 2009 until now. It is much easier for him to be a heel. He looks like a heel. He is more believable as a heel. He cuts better heel promos, and he is an amazing heel character. But it is almost an inverse of his prior WWE run and his TNA run where he's so much better in the ring as a babyface and so much worse in the ring as a heel. He's still good enough, but he's set such a huge bar for himself in 2009-10, so it feels like a massive step down. CM Punk comes out and New Nexus attacks Rey for the DQ. Solid 4 minutes. Fuck you, three hour Raw.
**

Rey fights off New Nexus, but Christian hits the Killswitch.

In the back, Vickie tries to talk to Austin but he's on the phone, so she yells EXCUSE ME. Ziggler comes in and Vickie sucks up. Vickie wants a title shot for Dolph against Kofi this Sunday. Austin says he'll do it if Ziggler drops Vickie. Austin yells to look at him, and says he had to drop DiBiase at a certain point. Ziggler says he'll drop her, and Austin laughs and says he was just having fun and he already made the match. Vickie throws a fit.

R-Truth comes out for his match, and Morrison never comes out. Truth says he'll go find him, and Morrison is down and out in the back. SHAZAM! LITTLE JIMMY GOT JOHNNY! He shoves the referees and EMTs away, and he wheels the equipment cart into his face. He says he guesses the Jimmies will never get to see the match, but at least he can say he got got by the future WWE Champion.

Match #5: Air Boom vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
They're not a team yet, but fuck it, that's their team name. This is a ton of fun for 3 minutes and Ziggler and Bourne do a great job carrying their team. Kofi hits Swagger with The Fucking Kick and Bourne hits Air Bourne for the win.
**

It is now time for Piper's Pit, and Piper says he beat up Mr. T in this building at WrestleMania II. Miz interrupts him and says nobody cares, and talks about being the most must-see WWE Champion ever, and it must be awful for Roddy to listen to that knowing that he could have been the most must-see WWE Champion ever 25 years ago, but he never won the title like he did. He says his season of The Real World was better than They Live. Piper ignores him and introduces the man he WANTED as his guest tonight, Alex Riley! He comes out and shakes Roddy's hand and Riley says he's always disliked The Miz, but put up with him to try and get ahead, but the time came when he had to stand up and be a man, and he knows he can beat The Miz at Capitol Punishment, and he knows Piper can beat him too. Miz challenges him to put his money where his mouth is, and in fact, he'll put up $1,000. Austin comes on the tron and ups it to $5000 from each man and makes A-Ri the ref.

Match #6: Roddy Piper vs. The Miz [$5000 On The Line - Special Referee: Alex Riley]
This is a minute, and Miz gets distracted by A-Ri and Piper rolls him up to win.
SAY IT TO MY FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE

TONIGHT: CENA VS. PUNK!

Who gives a shit?

Kelly Kelly, Eve, Gail Kim, Natalya Neidhart, Beth Phoenix, Kaitlyn, & AJ defeated WWE Divas Champion Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Maryse, Rosa Mendes, Tamina, Alicia Fox, & Melina at 1:24 when Kelly pinned Rosa with the K2; after the bout, Eve took the mic and noted the Tony Awards were the previous night, then led the other members of her team to doing the Rockettes dance in the ring

In the back, Austin talks to Big Andy and they toast beers. CM Punk comes in and mocks Andy, so Austin asks Andy to leave. Austin asks if he wants a beer. WHAT. A shot of whiskey? WHAT. Vodka? WHAT. Anything? WHAT. Austin says he hates that what trash and it's annoying. Punk asks if Austin can say the alphabet backwards and Austin says he can whip his ass backwards. Punk says he did one good thing tonight giving him a match with Cena tonight, even if he isn't sober. He says he knows his greatest moments, for the most part, are behind him, but he set in motion something that's going to change things here forever. Austin says Nexus isn't allowed, and Punk is fine with that. Austin says he has an announcement to go make, so he'll see him later...Punk. AWESOME SEGMENT. SO MUCH POTENTIAL.

Steve Austin comes out and says next week will also be three hours. Damnit. Oh, and the fans get to choose matches and stipulations. Anon GM says Austin will not be in charge next week, so Austin throws the computer down and runs it over with the ATV. FUCK YOU, ANONYMOUS RAW GM.

Match #8: John Cena vs. CM Punk
This gets time! Punk vs. Rey is booked for the PPV. Yay! This isn't super great as a whole due to booking impacting the ending, but it's these two for around 10 minutes, so there's a lot of great stuff. Cool Cena body shots once again, anda few great power spots. Punk takes the big bumps and has some nasty strikes during his control seg. Truth comes out in the crowd and acts like he's going to spit water on another kid, which distracts Cena, and Punk hits the GTS to win! YEAH!
**3/4

Truth comes into the ring and hits Cena with the water bottle and the Black Finisher. He gets the belt and the mic and says on Sunday, he's going to beat him, and that's the truth. He then leaves with the title.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011

WWE Smackdown
June 17th, 2011
Providence, RI


featured an opening in-ring promo by World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton in which he confirmed he had been diagnosed with a concussion but didn't care and wanted to fight tonight; after Orton called out Christian, Teddy Long walked out and said he hadn't received Orton's clearance to wrestle and would not allow Orton to compete; moments later, Christian interrupted and said Orton could use the concussion as an excuse when Christian beats him for the title at Capital Punishment; Christian then said that he might give Orton a rematch five days after the pay-per-view, with Sheamus then walking out and noting he beat Orton the previous week and was more deserving of the title shot; Christian then referred to Sheamus as "Strawberry Shortcake," with Long then saying Sheamus would face Christian later in the show and the title match at the pay-per-view would become a three-way if Sheamus won; Long then said he would give Orton a ringside seat for the bout, went to the floor, and put a steel chair beside the commentary table for Orton, then saying Orton could not interfere in the match or there would be serious consequences

Match #1: Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan/Sin Cara vs. Wade Barrett/Priceless
This gets like 7 minutes now, so it is better than Raw. Cody and Sin Cara have a really good extended run. Wade looks good on offense too, so that's nice. Daniel has a good hot tag and hits his corner dropkick to Ted and covers...for the 3? What? Ted looked to have kicked out, but the bell rung, so it was over.
**1/2

In the back, Striker interviews Sheamus. He says words with a stupid accent. I FEEL GREAT FELLA.

Match #2: Jinder Mahal w/ The Great Khali vs. Vladimir Kozlov
Vlad tried, but Jinder is the worst. Khali hits the Baba chop behind the ref's back, and Jinder wins with the Uncle Slam.
3/4*

From The Vault shows us one of the awesome Punk/Morrison matches in 2009.

Josh brings out The Big Show for an interview, and he says he's on Smackdown tonight because he heard that Alberto might be here. T'Lo comes out and says he won't touch Alberto tonight, and Ricardo Rodriguez is looking into civil and criminal charges against The Big Show for his actions on Monday, and if something like that happened here, he could lose his job and so could Show. Long says if he wants to take his aggression out, he can do it on this man, AND MOK COMES OUT! YEAH! Show jumps Mark on the floor like a coward and he punches him into oblivion. Show leaves, and Mark is stretchered out.

In the back, Christian says this is ridiculous, and he shouldn't have to prove himself tonight or ever again, and Sheamus shouldn't be allowed to get on his rightful title shot.

Match #3: Natalya/AJ/Kaitlyn vs. Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Tamina
90 seconds and useless. Tamina beats AJ with a Samoan Drop.
1/2*

Match #4: The Usos vs. Heath Slater/Justin Gabriel

Good 4 minutes. The Usos again look good as babyfaces. Gabriel starts to show off some cool offense and Slater takes good bumps. You forget that these two are an actual good tag team, due to The Corre being a black hole that took 4 talented young guys and making them all look worse than they really were. The Usos win with a Flying Splash on Slater.
**

A hype video airs for Cena/Truth.

included an in-ring promo by Del Rio in which he said he wasn't afraid of the Big Show and not even Show could stop his destiny of being the next WWE World Champion; Del Rio then said the injured Ricardo Rodriguez had a wife and daughter and that he would dedicate his win at Capital Punishment to his friend; moments later, Show ran out, with Del Rio fleeing the ring, breaking the bottom rope, and escaping into the crowd; Del Rio then smiled and laughed at Show until Show tipped over the announce table in frustration and threw one of the commentary chairs into the ring; Show then stood in the ring and stared at Del Rio

Randy Orton comes out to sit ringside.

Match #5: Christian vs. Sheamus
This is not a match that meshes well. Didn't in 2010 on Raw, didn't later in 2011 on PPV, and doesn't here. Sheamus is working de facto face here, unfortunately. Sheamus has Christian up top, but he looks at Orton too long, and Christian pulls him down face-first into the post. He is obviously out and christian covers to win.
**1/2

Orton runs Christian off, and punts Sheamus. What a dick.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: John Cena, Since 5/1/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 5/6/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 5/1/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett, Since 3/25/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: David Otunga/Michael McGillicutty, Since 5/23/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Brie Bella, Since 4/11/2011


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WWE CAPITOL PUNISHMENT
JUNE 19TH, 2011
WASHINGTON, D.C.

Match #1: Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero [WWE U.S. Championship]

I truly have no idea how they did it, but this match has them with some brand new spots, so it was almost great. Typical Dolph/Kofi match at its core. Dolph carries Kofi through the amateur style matwork, then takes huge bumps. Then has a neat transition spot and a great control seg full of ORTONLOCKS. What stops it from being great? Well, Kofi is still the worst. Cole always talks about Kofi being inspired by old footage of Shawn Michaels, but since Kofi's bumping is horrible and NOTHING he does looks impactful and he can't even do a good looking dive, I assume he's only watching 2005-2010 Shawn Michaels, I mean, fuck, I hate him, but at least peak era Shawn could bump like a motherfucker and do a great dive to cover for his offense not being that great. Kofi does the worst looking Shadows Over Hell ever. They do have awesome nearfalls though. Vickie gouges Kofi's eyes and Ziggler puts on the Sleeper TO WIN THE BELT. FUCK YEAH.
**3/4

In the back, Truth arrives with the WWE Title and demands Josh and the camera follow him. He tells Eve that the champ is here and says they should kick it again, and she says she has no idea who he is anymore. He says nobody knows him and he dedicates his title win to the Little Jimmies and Jennies.

In the back, The Miz cuts a Miz promo.

Hype video for Miz/A-Ri.

Match #2: The Miz vs. Alex Riley
Riley is far from a complete wrestler, and is one of those guys that exposes the WWE farm system's flaws a lot. He's not all the way there yet, but he has charisma and a look, so he got put on TV before he was ready. And like other people in his kind of position, he will most likely become a good to great wrestler after his push is dead and then nothing will be done with him (see: Drew McIntyre, Chris Masters). But this is fine enough for an incomplete rookie vs, a guy whose ring work is like the 4th or 5th biggest reason he actually got a huge push behind mic work, background, willingness to do press, etc. It's not bad or anything, but you know. They have a solid enough finishing run and Miz's control seg was good. Riley beats him with the Implant DDT.
**1/2

In the back, Sgt. Slaughter shakes the hand of the clearly fake Obama with a horrible voice. No, you know what? No.

RAW: POWER TO THE PEOPLE! 3 HOURS! FUCK LIFE!

ADR comes out for the match, but The Big Show runs out and attacks him from behind on the ramp! He beats him to ringside, BUT MARK HENRY HOPS THE RAIL AND ATTACKS BIG SHOW! FUCK YEAH MARK HENRY GETTING JUST REVENGE! WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAM THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, YOU FUCKING BITCH! YEAH! He throws the announcer chair onto Show's knee several times, and his knee is fucked up. Show eventually gets in the ring before 10 to start the match.

Match #3: The Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio
There's no reason this match actually had to happen after that, but we gotta keep Show strong. Sure doesn't help ADR's already destroyed momentum that he can't finish off a guy who is beat up bad and can't stand. It is a really enjoyable 5 minutes though. Show's selling is awesome and ADR puts on a great looking Legbar. After Show can't get up anymore, the ref stops the match.
**1/2

In the back, Truth demands he gets his photo taken with the WWE Title, so he can get right out of the building after the main event. The photographer says it still has Cena's name on the belt and Truth shoves him against the wall and yells at him not to be a Little Jimmy and makes him take the photo anyways.

BE A STAR.

Match #4: Wade Barrett [c] vs. Ezekiel Jackson [WWE Intercontinental Championship]
This is fine enough for 6 minutes. They get the point across. Wade continues to look much better than he did in The Corre. Zeke does his power stuff well. His comeback consisting of all body slams is a terrible idea. That thing can work once or twice as a novelty, but not every fucking match. He wins the belt with the Torture Rack. FUCK YEAH ZEKE! Crowd chanting "USA!" was the besr.
**1/4

More Obama bullshit.

In the back, Josh interviews Punk. He says everyone here, in DC, in the WWE, is a liar and a cheater and a user of some kind. He says he's the only true honest man here, because yes, he uses people, but he tells them to their faces that he's going to do it, and after he beats Rey Mysterio tonight, he's going to do the most honest thing anyone's ever seen.

Match #5: CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
Hey, obviously great match. They once again have perfect chemistry. This is not as great as their 2010 series, but it's not a greatest hits collection either. Rey could have sold his midsection more, but they had a great enough finishing run with enough cool shit, in fact tons of cool shit, to overcome that. Punk catches Rey going for the 619 and he hits the GTS for the win.
***

Hype video for Orton/Christian.

Match #6: Randy Orton [c] vs. Christian [World Heavyweight Championship]
This is great too, just not on the level of their Over the Limit match. Christian works the head and Orton's concussion selling slides between good and over the top. Christian did a good job targeting the head, and they had a lot of good reversals. Orton broke out his cool Sammartino Neckbreaker, and also had a great Side Belly to Belly. He wins with the RKO, but Christian's foot is under the bottom rope, and the ref misses it.
***

Christian protests the decision, but Orton hits him with the belt in revenge.

The Bellas escort Keith Stone to the ring.

Match #7: Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger
Bourne carries Jack for 7 WHOLE MINUTES. WOW! Takes humongous bumps, leans into everything, sells like a motherfucker, etc. Bourne makes an awesome comeback and wins with the Air Bourne. I love the Summer Evan Bourne push.
**3/4

included a segment in which "Obama" addressed the crowd from a podium at the entrance stage; moments later, Booker took the mic and invited "Obama" to the ring, did the Spinarooni with "Obama" doing his own version

Match #8: John Cena [c] vs. R-Truth [WWE Championship]
These two do not mesh at all. This did not need 15 minutes, and Truth controlling Cena even more than a normal opponent might came off as very strange. It's made worse by Truth not really being able to fill that time with interesting holds or offense. Truth has it maybe won at the end, but goes out to the floor and taunts a fan. He takes his Cena hat, but the fan throws soda or water or something in his face. Truth rolls back in, and into the FU and Cena wins. Oh well. Truth deserves some kind of a reward for his awesome micwork, but giving him the belt would make the conspiracy angle useless.
**
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