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Simon Watches WWE - 2011
Topic Started: Jun 2 2012, 08:58 PM (12,832 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
November 4th, 2011
Greenville, SC

Match #1: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes [Street Fight]

Really really good, but no real reason this was made a Street Fight. Only real illegal thing is the use of the mask by both guys. They work well together and all, but it felt very tame compared to other Street Fights this year. Probably could have done the same thing with a ref bump. They do stuff, and Orton hits Cody with the mask repeatedly, breaking the mask, and wins with the RKO. Also didn't need some 20ish minutes.
**3/4

Orton puts the bag over Cody's head, and when Cody leaves, he keeps the bag on his head. Amazing.

H/Nash recap again.

Match #2: Ted DiBiase vs. Tyson Kidd
This is a fun 2 minutes. Dream Street ends it.
*3/4

In the back, MOK is being interviewed, but he storms off and walks to Daniel Bryan off screen. He asks if he's eyeballing him and Bryan says he's just hanging out. MOK asks about his briefcase and Daniel says he's waiting until WrestleMania. Mark says it don't matter if he's waiting for WrestleMania, the next WrestleMania, or the second coming, because he will never beat him. MOK challenges him tonight if he's got the guts, and Danielson says he'll see him in the ring then.

Match #3: Natalya vs. Alicia Fox
This is a whole lot of nothing and Alicia wins and probably breaks Nattie's face with the Flipping Legdrop.
3/4*

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES. I GET A FEELING.

Sheamus fought Christian to a no contest; prior to the entrances, the Big Show cut an in-ring promo in which he said he would knock out Henry if given the chance, with Christian then interrupting and saying Show's "Mama said knock you out" line was so good, he thought he was done and it was time for Christian to come out for his scheduled match with Sheamus; Christian then asked what made Show think he was deserving of one more match with Henry, with Show eventually dropping Christian with the chokeslam; following Sheamus's entrance, the referee told him Christian said he was unable to compete due to the chokeslam, with Wade Barrett then appearing and saying Christian was in no shape to compete so he would take his place in the match

Match #4: Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett
These two work very well together, so it's a good match. I don't know if they have a great match in them at this point in their careers, but the pairing certainly shows a lot of promise. Christian stays at ringside. They beat the fuck out of each other. Christian distracts Sheamus and Wade schoolboys him to win.
**3/4

Christian then Spears Sheamus.

In the back, Sheamus attacks Christian, but Wade attacks Sheamus and Sheamus has a pull-apart brawl with both of them.

Match #5: Sin Cara vs. Epico
YEAH! EPICO! Sin Cara does stuff for 90 seconds, and then Hunico comes out and attacks for the DQ.
*1/4

Hunico and Epico both stomp Sin Cara down, and they leave together.

In the back, Show talks to Bryan and he says he'll be in his corner out there to make sure Henry doesn't try anything with a chair.

RAW REBOUND!

BRODUS. DEBUTING THIS MONDAY. LOLOK.

Match #6: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan w/ The Big Show
Classic big/small match, and a truly great 6-7 minutes. Danielson gets tossed around whenever he tries anything to begin, matwork, a Sleeper, knee kicks, and reassesses each time and tries something else. But then MOK kills him. Danielson has a flurry based around kicks to the knee, and he has MOK reeling. But Mark catches him and hits the WSS. He refuses to cover though. He Splashes DAT SUPAHERO D-BRY like 3 times in the corner, and since he's trying to just hurt him, Show gets in and hits MOK with the KO Punch for the DQ.
***

Big Show helps Daniel up and he tries to get him to cash in, BUT DANIELSON REFUSES! FUCK YEAH! He then walks into the World's Strongest Slam! MOK gets the briefcase and hits Show, and then hits Show with the World's Strongest Slam too. T'Lo comes out and books MOK/Show for the title at Survivor Series.
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The Italian Stallion
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Big Tuna
Jul 12 2012, 01:51 PM
Match #6: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Dolph Ziggler
This match would seriously rule.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Raw
November 7th, 2011
Liverpool, England


featured an opening in-ring promo by John Cena, to a mixed reaction, in which he noted the Rock would be back on Raw the following week; Cena then noted he would be in action later teaming with a future WWE Hall of Famer against Mike Mizanin & R-Truth, with Miz & Truth then interrupting and Miz reminding everyone he pinned Cena at WrestleMania; Miz then said Cena embarassed them the previous week and it would never happen again; Truth then said no one would be laughing after Survivor Series, then adding Cena's tag team partner would "get got;" as Cena talked up his partner, Miz responded by quoting the Rock in saying "It doesn't matter who you're teaming up with;" moments later, Miz & Truth double teamed Cena until Zack Ryder helped make the save in clearing them from the ring

NEXT WEEK: RAW GETS ROCKED. LOL. PUN. 3 HOURS. FUCK YOU.

Match #1: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison
Lawler mentions that Ryder has a Twitter petition to get a US Title shot after his win last week. This is a solid 10 minutes. Ziggler has improved so much since their series in 2009, as has Morrison theoretically, so it's their best match together. Ziggler has good work on the neck and starts to show off a lot. Finish was a little too abrupt for it to be great. Morrison gets a crucifix pin to win.
**3/4

TONIGHT: Cena/Ryder vs. Awesome Truth

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING. Orton/Sheamus/Kofi/Sin Cara/Mason Ryan vs. Wade/Cody/Christian/Hunico/Swagger is booked as your begrudging Survivor Series Elimination Match.

Match #2: Mason Ryan vs. JTG
Horrible Mason squash.
45/Many Poops

Match #3: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

This is a 2 minute squash, but with Bourne gone, Kofi is being treated like he deserves, so that's nice. Jujigatame ends it.
*1/2

after the match, ADR reapplied the hold until CM Punk appeared; following the commercial break, ADR took the mic, insulted the crowd and Punk and told Punk to cancel their title match at Survivor Series; Punk responded by noting ADR beat him by having Kevin Nash powerbomb him at Summer Slam and then hit him with a steel pipe to win at Hell in a Cell; Punk then said ADR was one-dimensional on the mic, noting he says "destiny" a lot but doesn't really have anything to say, then adding he would make the title interesting again; Punk then said he wouldn't cancel the title match, with ADR attacking Punk and attempting the armbreaker, only for Punk to reverse it into the Anaconda Vice; Ricardo then got involved and sustained the Go To Sleep as ADR watched from the floor

Match #4: Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
This was short and useless. Swagger wins with the Ankle Lock.
*3/4

ncluded an in-ring segment in which Jerry Lawler introduced Kelly Kelly, noting she would be on the cover of the next Maxim Magazine; moments later, Kelly thanked the fans for their support until she was interrupted by WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix and Natalya Neidhart, who made fun of her for being a Barbie doll; Kelly responded by saying she wouldn't make fun of them for being on the cover of National Geographic; the two then cornered Kelly until Eve and Alicia Fox made the save and helped unveil the cover featuring Kelly

included a segment at the entrance stage in which John Laurinaitis introduced Kevin Nash, who came out to his former nWo music, took the mic, and said he didn't owe anyone an explanation; Nash then said he remembered the first time he saw Triple H in 1995 and that he should have buried him back then; Nash then discussed being in the 2011 Royal Rumble and getting the cold shoulder from Triple H afterwards; Nash then said Triple H was still the measuring stick and he used him to book himself in a main event match

BRODUS CLAY. NOT YET.

In the back, Johnny and Otunga talk. He says he's saving Brodus for a more sophisticated audience. CM Punk comes over and Otunga says he shouldn't be challenging for the title because he looks like he works at a gas station, and Punk then punches him in the face. ADR comes over and they are pulled apart.

Match #5: John Cena/Zack Ryder vs. Awesome Truth
Good stuff. Cena had an awesome run of offense early on, and he and Ryder were super fun as a tag team, doing double versions of their goofy crowd participation offense. Not quite great though, as the control segment on Ryder gets to a point where him getting the tag would have been perfect, and then it goes on another 3 minutes at least, and the crowd loses interest. Cena has a decent hot tag and then Miz kicks him in the head. He covers and Truth holds his leg from the floor to steal the win.
**3/4
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal, Superstars (November 10th)
HE'S A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! Regal is pranked by having his music being "Real Man's Man". This is obviously incredible. Brilliant matwork, and since it is in England, they change up the match layout so Danielson is the one in control. He has great knee work, and Regal sells like William fucking Regal, and changes up his stuff so he uses his upper body for most of it. LeBell Lock ends it.
***1/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
November 11th, 2011 (HOLY SHIT 11/11/11)
Liverpool, England


included an in-ring promo by Randy Orton cut in which he noted he would captain a team at Survivor Series, then added he doesn't play well with others and has left behind several groups that imploded; Orton then said he had no problem being a leader at Survivor Series, giving Cody Rhodes' a beating, shutting up Christian, taking out Jack Swagger and Hunico; as Orton went to speak about Barrett, Barrett walked out and said Orton had a big problem with him and he would prove at Survivor Series that he was superior to Orton and deserving of the World Heavyweight Title; Christian then walked out wearing a neckbrace, saying Orton would be to his team what Yoko Ono was to the Beatles, and saying the neckbrace was due to the chokeslam he took from Big Show the previous week, and endorsed Barrett as the team captain after noting Teddy Long initially came to him to be captain; Barrett and Christian then attacked Orton, leading to Sheamus making the save and taking off Christian's neckbrace; Long then appeared at the entrance stage and said Christian would face Sheamus next and Barrett would face Orton in the main event

Match #1: Sheamus vs. Christian
Hey, guess what? They still don't click. They have their least shitty match yet, and Christian has enough lunatic bumps to make it almost great. They have their best run of counters yet, and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick and the Celtic Cross for the win.
**3/4

TONIGHT: DANIELSON/MOK II

In the back, Danielson talks to AJ and Kaitlyn about his match and AJ wishes him luck. IT HAS BEGUN! MOK comes over, and the bitches flee. MOK asks if he thinks it'll be that easy to cash it in, and says it took him 15 years to be World Champion. Danielson says if he's still Champion by WrestleMania, then he'll cash it in and beat him. MOK nods and says he's got some guts, he'll give him that. Shame he gon' spill dem guts all over the ring tonight.

A video airs on Zeke. DOMINATION.

Match #2: Ted DiBiase vs. Jinder Mahal
This is a minute and Ted wins with Dream Street. Why even bother?
1/2*

Match #3: Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan

This is only 4 minutes, but it is once again super fucking awesome. Same ideas as their match last week, just more condensed. Mark catches Danielson and hits the World's Strongest Slam to win.
**1/2

Mark brings a chair in, but Danielson attacks him. Mark hits a second World's Strongest Slam, and then a third. He puts the chair around Danielson's ankle and goes for the Vader Bomb, but Big Show runs out to save. Mark gets the chair, but Show punches it out of his hands, and MOK flees. Show tells him to watch this if he wants something really impressive.

Match #4: The Big Show vs. Three Jobbers
Awesome squash. He hits a double Chokeslam and then the KO Punch to the third for the win.
*1/2

RAW REBOUND!

Match #5: The Usos vs. Hunico/Epico w/ Primo
FUCK YEAH PRIMO! This was a fun 3 minutes. Hunico beats one of the Usos with a Senton Bomb.
**

They beat down the Usos in 3 on 2 post-match.

Match #6: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Well, this pairing is the worst. At least it cuts Orton off though. They have no real chemistry at all. Wade works best at this point with guys like Sheamus or Bryan, people who can work super rough with him. Orton is not that guy. As a result, Wade doesn't get to throw nasty boots or strikes and they just work a below average slow match. Wade goes to the eyes and gets a schoolboy to win.
*3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Raw
November 14th, 2011
Boston, MA


featured an opening in-ring segment in which Michael Cole came out to the ring and said Jim Ross was finally in the building to compete in the Michael Cole Challenge; Cole then introduced JR, then adding if JR could win the challenges, he would win; Cole started with an arm wrestling contest, in which he stalled several times before Ross easily beat him; Cole complained that Ross's breath was so bad and that's how he won, then saying the fans would choose the winner of the second competition - a dance contest; Ross received the most applause for the dance contest; Cole then unveiled a scale for the third contest - with the winner being the person who weighs less; Cole then weighed in at 200lbs, with JR weighing 239lbs; Cole then called himself the winner, with CM Punk interrupting, saying Cole's segment was a waste of time for him and the fans; Punk then said Cole's 15 minutes of fame were up and he needed to leave, adding with Cole, WWE World Champion Alberto Del Rio, and John Laurinaitis, Raw has become unbearable; he continued by saying he wanted the show to be entertaining and it would be once he takes the WWE World Title, adding he would do everything in his power to make it entertaining; Laurinaitis then walked out and said he was disappointed with Punk breaking up the competition, adding his 38,000 Twitter followers all wanted to see it happen; Laurinaitis then said Punk would team with Big Show to face ADR & World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry; Cole then laughed at Punk, telling him to apologize to him, with Punk responding with a headbutt and locking Cole in the Anaconda Vice; Punk then mouthed "I'm sorry;"

IN THE BACK, MICK FOLEY ARRIVES! YEAH! He says he wanted to see The Rock's return. He has this incredible half Cena half Rock shirt on.

Cody is now without the mask and working a generic heel gimmick again. In a inset promo, he says Orton emancipated him two weeks ago. I mean, he's still a pretty good wrestler and I like him and all, but this seems like a step back.

Match #1: Cody Rhodes/Hunico vs. Kofi Kingston/Sin Cara
JR stays at ringside to do commentary. Kofi tries to drag the match down for everyone, and to some extent, he succeeds. But Hunico is bumping like the proverbial motherfucker for everyone, and they did a not awful 5 minutes. Cody beats Kofi with the Cross Rhodes, as nature intended.
**1/4

included a backstage segment in which Santino Marella played the Rock on WWE '12 against Cena; moments later, Zack Ryder walked in and encouraged Marella to sign his petition to get a WWE US title match; moments later, the two argued between who was better between Cena and the Rock

Vickie Guerrero comes out and says Christian was injured last week in Europe, so Ziggler will take his place at Survivor Series. DOUBLE DUTY AGAIN FUCK YEAH!

Before the match, Johnny comes out and makes JR leave ringside as Cole comes back out in a sling.

Match #2: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Mason Ryan
This is a minute before Vickie slaps Mason for the DQ.
1/2*

They try to bail, but Morrison runs out and throws him back in, and Mason hits the Uncle Slam.

In the back, Ryder gets Foley to sign his petition.

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, JOHN CENA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4GTDuzP_H8

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SOMETIMES I GET A GOOD FEELING

Match #3: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
This sure fucking happened. Jesus. They don't mesh at all, and it's becoming how obviously great Mark Henry is for getting two great matches out of babyface Sheamus, who hasn't meshed that well with anyone since. After 5-6 minutes of action I cannot remember at all, Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick.
*3/4

A video airs on Kelly Kelly.

Match #4: Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya
K2 wins with a roll up in about a minute. BOO
1/42*

In the back, Johnny talks to ADR and says CM Punk can cause a lot more trouble if he is WWE Champion and ADR says he won't make it to Survivor Series, and he will be champion longer than Johnny is the GM.

In the back, Striker interviews Awesome Truth, and they refuse to speak.

Match #5: CM Punk/The Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio/Mark Henry
MOK vs. Punk has a lot of promise, yet again. They carry their teams, and ADR and Show do a decent enough job not fucking anything up too badly. Punk has a great hot tag, but MOK intercepts him off the top with the World's Strongest Slam, and ADR steals the cover to win.
**1/2

ADR puts on the Cross Armbreaker post-match, until Big Show saves.

included an in-ring promo by Santino Marella in which he noted it was the same building in which he almost won the 2011 Royal Rumble, then vowed to be champion by the time WWE returns to Boston; moments later, Kevin Nash walked out and said he was a big fan; Nash then asked Santino to do the trombone, then kicked Santino in the face; Nash noted he got the biggest pop of the night at the Rumble and Triple H didn't have the sense to hire him; Nash followed by dropping Marella with the powerbomb

In the back, ADR attacks Punk, and they get pulled apart.

Match #6: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Both SurSer teams are at ringside, and this is about 3 minutes of these two beginning to have another below average match before the teams all fight for a no contest, thankfully.
*1/2

The heels are cleared out, except for Hunico, who gets the RKO.

The Rock comes out and he does his shtick for a bit. He talks about waking up at 3 am to train for WrestleMania before filming GI Joe and says he flew here earlier tonight. He says he loves Mick Foley like a brother, but that was a pile of hot garbage, and he had to end it for everyone's sake. He goes on about tweeting and says he can make anything trend worldwide, leading to BOOTS TO ASSES. He says he's going to put his boot to Miz and Truth's asses, and they come out. Miz is all like REALLY?! and Truth says not to what him. He says if Rock thinks he's gonna do anything to them, he's the most delusional man ever, and he's gon get got. John Cena comes out and stands beside the Rock. He says it's nice to actually see him in person instead of via satellite, and Rock says he's probably just surprised someone past puberty is supporting him. He tries to get Cena's lady parts trending, and Cena says him bitch slapping Rock could trend right now. Miz and Truth try to jump then, but Cena and Rock fight them off and Rock hits them both with the Rock Bottom.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
November 18th, 2011
Bridgeport, CT


This show looks mediocre and I just want to get to Survivor Series. I doubt any match on this show is worth seeing or affects rankings in any way.

featured an opening backstage segment in which World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry attacked Daniel Bryan backstage, assaulted him down the hallway, and attacked him inside the ring, eventually ending with the powerslam; referees then entered the ring before Henry hit the powerslam a second time; Henry then took the mic and said he would do the same to Big Show at Survivor Series, adding that one of them would have to be taken backstage and it wouldn't be Henry; Henry then yelled at Bryan, on the floor, before leaving ringside; included an ad promoting 'The Reunion,' starring John Cena; featured a backstage segment with Justin Gabriel and Alicia Fox in which Zack Ryder walked in and asked them to sign his petition to get a WWE US Title shot, with Big Show walking in to sign it as well; Ryder then told Show what Henry did to Bryan earlier in the show, with Show asking where Henry was and then walking off; included a backstage segment with Ted Dibiase Jr. and Hornswoggle playing Cena & the Rock vs. Mike Mizanin & R-Truth, with Long then praising Dibiase on his recent wins; Aksana then walked in and told Long she likes video games and handling joysticks; featured a promo by Christian at the entrance stage, wearing a neckbrace and on a crutch, in which he complained about his serious neck injury and Long putting him in a match against Sheamus; Christian then said he fought Sheamus all over Europe, then showed an image on the big screen of his heavily bruised ankle to explain why he had been removed from Survivor Series and may not be back in the ring for a while; Christian said he would still support Team Barrett, then ranted about the fans for their lack of respect before saying there would be severe consequences for Long's incompetence; included a backstage segment with Bryan, AJ, and Show in which Show said it was all his fault that Henry attacked Bryan, with Show walking off angry and saying he was going to go find Henry; included a "Did you know?" graphic which read WWE Monday Night Raw was the most discussed TV show on Facebook and Twitter, getting more mentions than 'Dancing with the Stars,' 'Gossip Girl,' 'The Sing Off,' and 'Two and a Half Men' combined; featured anti-bullying comments from Bryan, Ariel Winter, CM Punk, Cena, David Arquette, Chelsie Hightower, Fox, Jordin Sparks, Sheamus, Eve, WWE Tag Team Champion Evan Bourne, and Angus T. Jones; included a backstage segment in which Show went looking for Henry, with Tyson Kidd telling him Henry left earlier; Jinder Mahal then said something to Show in Hindi, with Show knocking him out with a punch; Show then walked out to the ring and cut a promo in which he said if he brought all his rage with him to Survivor Series, he could get himself disqualified, then showed footage of Henry injuring him at Money in the Bank; moments later, Show said Henry would be the one carried out of Survivor Series, then promising it would happen and Henry would lose the title; featured a vignette on Ezekiel Jackson; included a "Did you know?" graphic which read WWE offers all US military personnel free tickets to live events in the US; featured the closing segment of Raw, featuring Rock, Cena, Miz, and Truth, show in full:

WWE US Champion Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) pinned Sin Cara in a non-title match with a reversal of a roll up and grabbing the tights for leverage at 4:27; prior to the bout, Vickie took the mic and announced Ziggler would compete in two matches Sunday - in both the Survivor Series and defending the title against John Morrison; the bout was wrestled under blue and orange lights; after the contest, Sin Cara attacked Ziggler until Jack Swagger ran in the ring and helped double team Cara; Mason Ryan then ran out to make the save and cleared both men from the ring

Mason Ryan pinned Jack Swagger (w/ Vickie Guerrero) in an impromptu match at around the 6-minute mark with the full nelson slam after avoiding the gutwrench powerbomb (the bout began during the commercial break)

Ted Dibiase Jr. pinned Derrick Bateman (w/ Maxine) with Dream Street at 2:38; prior to the bout, a pretaped insert promo aired from Bateman & Maxine in which they said they were NXT's power couple and were bringing that to Smackdown

WWE Tag Team Champion Kofi Kingston pinned Hunico with the SOS at 5:01; prior to the bout, Hunico slid out to the floor and cut a promo in Spanish; after the contest, Hunico argued with the referee about the decision

Beth Phoenix & Natalya Neidhart defeated AJ & Kaitlyn at 2:53 when AJ submitted to a bridging Sharpshooter from Natalya; prior to the bout, it was announced the Phoenix vs. Eve match at Survivor Series would be a lumberjill match; after the bout, Kaitlyn appeared frusted with AJ losing the match

Randy Orton & Sheamus defeated Wade Barrett & WWE IC Champion Cody Rhodes via disqualification at 10:46 when Christian, who appeared ringside mid-way through the match, hit Sheamus with his crutch; during his entrance, a pretaped insert promo aired from Rhodes in which he said Barrett asked him to put aside his personal feelings against Orton, which Rhodes then asking what personal feelings, then laughing; after the bout, Rhodes & Barrett double teamed their opponents before Sheamus attacked them both with the crutch, leading to Orton dropping Barrett with the RKO and Sheamus dropping Rhodes with the crucifix powerbomb
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio, Since 10/2/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


Posted Image


WWE SURVIVOR SERIES 2011
NOVEMBER 20TH, 2011
MADISON SQUARE GARDEN
NEW YORK, NY

Match #1: Dolph Ziggler [c] w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison [WWE U.S. Championship]

Great match. Figures that in Morrison's last real match, this pairing would finally click in a great match. The crowd wants Ryder. Lots of super athletic and crisp stuff to begin, and Ziggler has his awesome control segment. Really good finishing run of counters as usual. Vickie is ejected, but Ziggler gets his knees up to block Starship Pain, and hits the Peace Zig to win.
***

Ziggler gets on the mic and says it's not showing off if you back up. He yells at the crowd to shut up and says Ryder isn't even here, and Zack Ryder comes out and hits the Rough Ryder. WOO WOO WOO! YOU KNOW FUCK YEAH!

Match #2: Beth Phoenix [c] vs. Eve [WWE Divas Championship - Lumberjill Match]
This happens. Sure as fuck does. At least it is only 4 minutes, and Beth wins with a Super Glam Slam.
*1/2

In the back, Otunga goes to Punk and says Johnny wants him to apologize to Michael Cole. He says he sure doesn't want on his bad side and says he'll think real hard about it after he beats ADR. He then insults the bowtie and leaves.

MOTHERFUCKING ROCK PROMO: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9foC9_t11A&feature=related

Match #3: Randy Orton/Sheamus/Sin Cara/Kofi Kingston/Mason Ryan vs. Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes/Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Hunico [Elimination Match]
This could have been decent if done right BUT HEY NOPE RKO TO ZIGGLER AND HE'S OUT IN 90 SECONDS. Hunico vs. Sin Cara is good, BUT LOL SIN CARA BREAKS HIMSELF BOTCHING A DIVE AND IS TAKEN OUT. HE'S GONE TOO. FUCK. Some average stuff happens, and Mason is still the worst. Cody gets rid of him with the Cross Rhodes, thankfully. Wade gets rid of Kofi with Wasteland. Sheamus is DQ'd for refusing to stop beating the fuck out of Swagger in the corner. He then Brogue Kicks Swagger because he's a sore loser. Orton then pins Swagger. Hunico looks great again, and Orton gets him with the RKO to beat him. Wade then jumps Orton and hits the Wasteland for the upset. Due to how it was laid out so most of the guys who could have carried it were either out early or on the apron, this was not much.
**

In the back, ADR talks with the Bellas. Johnny comes on and tells ADR to focus, and he says he's not worried.

Hype video for MOK/Show.

Match #4: Mark Henry [c] vs. The Big Show [World Heavyweight Championship]
Not as great as Vengeance, but they're not topping that ever, probably. Still really great though. They had awesome matwork early on, due to Mark bumping around for it, which was fun because it's two huge dudes. They got a super fucking awful smarky MSG crowd into their match, when they started out chanting that Big Show is fat and for Sexual Chocolate. Mark works the knee a little and Show sells well, AND THEN THEY THROW BOMBS AGAIN! YES! MOK TACKLES SHOW THROUGH THE BARRICADE! They kick out of stuff, and MOK ducks the KO Punch and goes to a low blow to save his title.
***

MOK brings a chair in and tries to cripple him, but Show moves! He hits the KO Punch, and then gets revenge by wrapping the chair around Mark Henry's ankle, and he Legdrops him! Show leaves, and MOK has to be taken to the back. :(

BE A STAR.

In the back, Striker interviews Awesome Truth. Miz says the focus is on the Barrett Barrage, the Hall of Pain, and the Most Charismatic Tag Team of All Time, but the focus should be on them. Truth says they should have their billboard in Times Square, not Rock and Cena. He says he saw the pigeons staring at the ad outside MSG today, and asks Striker if he knows what the pigeons said to him. NOTHING. THEY'RE PIGEONS, MATT. PIGEONS DON'T TALK! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! He says all they do is crap, like Rock and Cena, and crap is gon get got.

Hype video for ADR/Punk. According to Lawler, this all began at Survivor Series.

CM Punk brings out FUCKING HOWARD FINKEL TO ANNOUNCE HIM! AWESOME!

Match #5: Alberto Del Rio [c] vs. CM Punk [WWE Championship]
This is really good, but not great. They don't mesh perfectly, but Punk is great enough at this point to get something watchable out of most guys, and ADR, while not being great, is no slouch. So they put together a very good match, but it just happened to feel like something was missing. Good finishing run, and Punk wins the title and begins this great title reign with the Anaconda Vise.
**3/4

Hype video for the main event.

Match #6: The Rock/John Cena vs. Awesome Truth
This isn't great, but is good as a set up for Mania. Truth and Miz are basically just there. Not bad, but nothing that sticks out, and it's all about Rock looking amazing in the ring create that much more anticipation for WrestleMania. He and Cena keep having little moments of tension. As usual with Awesome Truth lately, there's a moment where the hot tag would be perfect, and then they go another 2-3 minutes before it happens. Rock beats Miz with the People's Elbow.
**3/4

Rock celebrates a lot. He invites Cena back down to share it, and then drops Cena with the Rock Bottom. What a dick.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


DAT CHAMPIONS LIST, GOOD GOD.

WWE Raw
November 21st, 2011
Hershey, PA


NEW WWE Champion CM Punk comes out to open the show and talks about how he told his 1st grade teacher he would be the champion and said it was a special moment to win the WWE Title on his own terms at Madison Square Garden. He says the WWE Title hot potato game is over, the title is where it belongs, and it's not leaving his waist for a long long time. And we are here some eight months later, and he was right. He then says since he's the face of the WWE now, he sits down in the ring and asks where his ice cream bars are and says he wants John Laurinaitis gone. Johnny comes out and Punk says Vince was a soulless money grubbing bastard, but at least he was honest about it, but Johnny is a douchebag like Bill Lumbergh. They bleep douchebag for some reason. Johnny books Punk/ADR for the belt next week for ADR's rematch and Punk says he can do it tonight. Johnny says he's booked Punk vs. Ziggler tonight, which is fantastic news. Punk says that proves he doesn't listen to the fans and says the fans want Ziggler vs. Ryder for the US Title and Johnny then books ADR vs. Ryder. Punk says he'll beat ADR next week, and says eventually, someone will beat some sense into Johnny.

Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder
Good for 3 minutes. ADR wins with the Cross Armbreaker.
**

Match #2: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero

This sucked last week, so the obvious decision is to run the match again. The TWITTER TWITTER TWITTER screen statics a bit during this and shows the link for the It Begins 2012 links for the teasers to Jericho's hilariously underwhelming return. Anyways, Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick.
*3/4

included a promo by Kevin Nash in which he said he was backstage at Madison Square Garden, discussed winning the WWE World Title there, and the Curtain Call in 1996; Nash then said it should have been he and Triple H against Rock & Cena at Survivor Series and Triple H was out with a broken neck; Nash then said he was the real survivor of the Kliq and walked off

Match #3: Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella
This is all of a minute and Cody wins with the Cross Rhodes.
3/4*

Cody confronts Booker at ringside about his commentary, and throws water in his face and leaves.

In the back, Josh interviews Ziggler and Vickie. Ziggler says he won two matches last night, and he's the new face of the WWE, not Punk.

Match #4: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
This is pretty great. For the first time in like a year, Ziggler has an opponent who can hang with him in the opening matwork. Punk takes some huge bumps and Ziggler in 110% crisp and on point with all his big offense. Big awesome finishing run too. Lots of awesome counters, while still saving a lot for inevitable rematches. Punk intercepts the Fameasser with a Powerbomb and then hits the GTS for the win.
***1/4

featured a promo by the Big Show at the entrance stage in which he noted World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry was carted out of the ring at Survivor Series, as Show said would happen, and added he wasn't done with him

Match #5: Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston
This got 8 minutes, because fuck life. Randy Orton comes out to watch and Wade wins with the Wasteland.
*3/4

John Cena comes out to end the show and the crowd chants "BOOTS TO ASSES" and "FRUITY PEBBLE" at him. He does one of his recaps and plugs Zack Ryder's twitter and then Punk's title win, and Awesome Truth comes out to interrupt him as CENA IS FUCKING PRAISING THE ROCK. FUCK. BE MAD. SHIT. Miz points out how he got shown up by a guy who had been gone 7 years and how Rock embarrassed him. DON'T WHAT ME. Truth asks what color the sky is in Cena's world, and says Rock is going to put boots to asses to him at WrestleMania if he's acting like this. Cena tells him to shut up and says right now, nobody cares about them. He says they tried to talk big and act big, but right now, Miz thinks Truth is a whacked out nutjob who never had any talent to begin with and Truth thinks Miz is an arrogant attention stealing D-lister who hasn't been relevant since he was on MTV. He says not to boo him, because they should be booing themselves. Cena leaves and Miz and Truth argue. Truth shoves Miz down, but he says to calm down and that Cena is trying to break them up. They leave together, but then Miz attacks him on the stage and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on the stage.

It's over.

:(
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE NXT
November 23rd, 2011
Wilkes Barre, PA


Darren Young comes out and says this is now the D. Young Show, since the redemption points clearly don't count anymore. He says he's main evented SummerSlam and Titus O'Neil hasn't done anything and Reks and Hawkins come out. Reks says his anger is impressive and Hawkins says they're pretty similar. Titus and Percy then come out and Titus is awesome on the mic. He does not need Abe at all. They mock Reks' surfer gimmick and Titus says he was eliminated last year and he said he would come back and he's come back AND HE'S MADE IT A WIN! AND THEY ATTACK THE HEELS! YEAH! They drive them off, and Striker books them vs. Reks/Young tonight.

Bateman and Maxine come out to do commentary.

Match #1: Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis
According to Striker and Regal on commentary, Curtis revealed last week that he hooked up with Maxine once. Regal says he's been married 16 times. Curtis blows Maxine a kiss. Bateman is mad, so Maxine leaves. Anyways, there's a solid 4 minutes going on under this. Yoshi hits the Spinning Wheel Kick off the to pto win.
**

In the back, Maxine yells at Bateman to get his priorities straight before their parents meet tomorrow for Thanksgiving. She leaves and Curtis comes over. He asks if he saw Maxine eying him up out there, and Bateman says she was watching him lose. Bateman tells him to stop being creepy and to stay away, and he leaves. Curtis says he will have her, and he leaves.

Match #2: Jimmy Uso vs. JTG
No.

Match #3: Titus O'Neil/Percy Watson vs. Darren Young/Tyler Reks w/ Curt Hawkins
Titus vs. Darren is great. Percy is still not much. And Tyler Reks is barely classifiable as a warm body. He is beyond useless. This goes on far too long and D. Young beats Titus with the Death by Roderick after Curt trips him with his cane.
*3/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
November 25th, 2011
Wilkes Barre, PA


Mark Henry comes out on a crutch and says it's typical that people are happy to see him in pain. He says Big Show almost broke his ankle, and asks what kind of people would be happy about it. He says Big Show knows he aimed for his knee, but Big Show claims he kicked him low to make him look bad, because Show wanted to make him look like the bad guy. He says he's still here though, because a real champion fights through the pain and he wants to set that example for all the kids of what a champion should be. He said he wants to compete, but the doctors and Teddy Long said he ain't cleared yet. Big Show comes out and says Mark Henry cheated to save his title because he can't beat him, and he blindsides Mark Henry with the KO Punch. WHAT A FUCKING PRICK, HE ONLY HAS ONE LEG! AND DANIEL BRYAN RUNS OUT WITH CHARLES ROBINSON AND CASHES IN!

Match #1: Mark Henry [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [World Heavyweight Championship]
Danielson pins him to WIN THE TITLE YEAH!
BEST IN THE WORLD! BEST IN THE WORLD! BEST IN THE WORLD! BEST IN THE WORLD!

Daniel celebrates with the belt and Show cheers. T'Lo comes out and says Mark Henry was not cleared to copete, so this match is null and void. He makes Danielson hand the title back and Long gives him his briefcase back. He books Daniel vs. Orton vs. Wade vs. Cody tonight, and says the winner fights MOK next Tuesday for the belt in a Steel Cage Match!

After the break, Josh says the winner of the cage match will defend vs. Big Show at TLC.

Match #2: Justin Gabriel vs. Hunico
They put together a really fun 4-5 minute spotfest. Gabriel misses the 450 Splash, and Hunico wins with the Swanton.
**1/4

Match #3: Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. AJ/Kaitlyn

Decent 1 minute squash once again.
3/4*

They keep beating down AJ, so Alicia Fox runs out to save.

In the back, T'Lo talks to the phone and says Tuesday will be a Holiday Special with Foley as a guest. Aksana comes in and tries to make fuck, but MOK storms in. DO I HAVE MATTEL ON MY FOREHEAD, TEDDY? DO I LOOK LIKE A GAME? NO? THEN WHY YOU TRYIN' PLAY ME LIKE ONE?

Match #4: Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
Awesome match! They get like 10-15 minutes, and Ziggler puts on another awesome performance. Ryder has maybe his best performance ever here, flying around and taking huge bumps. Ziggler has begun the whole show off deal, and it's a lot of fun. Sheamus has a good hot tag and Ryder then gets back in. Sheamus shrugs Ziggler off of the Peace Zig, and Ryder pins him with the Rough Ryder!
***

In the back, Daniel talks to AJ and Wade comes over and says he's pathetic and will never win tonight. He says he can't stop the Barrett Barrage and AJ asks who cares. Wade says he must be proud to have a 14 year old girl fight his battles. Danielson says Wade's won as many World titles as him, 0, and he's not intimidated by him or Mark Henry. Wade leaves and AJ wishes D-Bry luck with a kiss on the cheek.

And then Booker scores an awesome transition with "TALK ABOUT A STICKY SITUATION!"

Match #5: Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Good 4 minute Ted showcase. He has a completely awful mustache, and Slater looks awesome. Ted wins with Dream Street.
**

Ted Tebows post-match.

included footage from Raw of Rhodes throwing water in Booker T's face, with Matt Striker then conducting a backstage interview with Rhodes about his actions, with Rhodes saying he did it because he saw how Booker mocked him during his match; Rhodes then said giving up his mask freed him, and it freed him to win the night's main event and go on to win a world title match, with Rhodes then saying "I can dig that, sucka"

Match #6: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes [#1 Contender's Match]
Good, not great. The non-Wade/Orton pairings are all good, but unfortunately, Wade vs. Orton got a lot of play. Like 2/3rds of the camera time was on that pairing. They did a good job protecting Orton/D-Bry for whenever that eventually happens. Bryan makes Cody tap to the LeBell Lock for the win.
**3/4

Cody attacks D-Bry from behind, but Orton saves and drops Cody with the RKO before nodding at Bryan.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Raw
November 28th, 2011
Columbia, SC


TONIGHT: Punk vs. ADR for the WWE Title

The AMAZING Piper's Pit with John Cena segment opens the show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGFQj7AUKW0

John Morrison comes out for an unannounced Falls Count Anywhere match vs. The Miz, but Miz jumps Morrison on the stage. He has a pipe and hits him in the back of the knee and then goes to the ring. WILL IT HAPPEN?! IT IS NEXT.

Coming back, Miz is in the ring and Morrison is being helped away, but he shoves them off and hobbles to the ring for the match.

Match #1: The Miz vs. John Morrison [Falls Count Anywhere]
Fun 4 minutes. Morrison's selling was great and they had a few good kendo stick spots. They go to the stage and Miz hits the SKULL FUCKING FINALE ON THE STAGE BAH GAWD! Morrison is dead now, and the ref stops it.
**1/4

Miz goes to the ring and Morrison is stretchered out. Miz says that is two useless former tag team partners he's taken out and says nobody is going to hold him back anymore.

Match #2: The Bella Twins vs. Eve/Alicia Fox
Useless 90 seconds and the faces win.
1/4*

A video airs on Sheamus.

Wade Barrett comes out to do commentary.

In the back, Johnny talks to Otunga and says if Punk is DQ'd tonight, he will lose the title.

Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
Ugh. This is great again, and I'm glad Ziggler is getting all these opportunities to grab points now, but Orton? This isn't fair. Lots of cool little counters, and Ziggler takes huge bumps and again has a fantastic control segment. Thankfully, Wade cuts it off before Orton can leech another 3 points off Ziggler, as he cuts it off before the finishing run can really get working with a distraction, AND ZIGGLER HITS THE PEACE ZIG TO WIN! YEAH!
**3/4

Cole is in the ring with D. Bry coming back and he calls him the biggest hypocrite and talks about his match tomorrow night, and Bryan says he EARNED everything, including his match tomorrow night. He says Cole is the worst announcer in the history of the WWE and says he deserves respect. Cole says he tried to cash in against a defenseless man, and he's a liar for saying he would cash in at WrestleMania. Danielson admits he is a hypocrite and he says he had big plans, but plans change. And his plans changed when Mark Henry tried to put him into the Hall of Pain and end his career, and he realized that he isn't guaranteed anything. He took an opportunity when he saw it, and tomorrow night, he'll take another opportunity. And Mark Henry may try to end his career and to put him in the Hall of Pain, but even though his dream was to main event WrestleMania, what's way more important to him is becoming World Heavyweight Champion! Mark Henry comes out to the stage and asks if he hasn't knocked Bryan upside his head enough lately, and he should be ashamed of himself for what he tried to do. He says Teddy Long should be ashamed too, for booking him in this match when he's injured. MOK says it doesn't matter how many legs he has, because he can't beat him! Daniel walks up to him, and yells I CAN'T BEAT YOU?! AND KICKS MARK IN THE ANKLE! FUCK YEAH! MARK IS STUMBLING AND DANIELSON SAYS THEY'LL SEE TOMORROW NIGHT!

Match #4: Zack Ryder vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
Good Ryder showcase, and he wins with the Rough Ryder in about 2 minutes.
*3/4

KANE MOTHERFUCKER

included Josh Matthews conducting a backstage interview with Punk regarding the added stipulation for the title match, with Punk saying Laurinaitis to kiss his ass

Match #5: CM Punk [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio [WWE Championship - If Punk is DQ'd, He Loses the Title]
Very very good, and yet again, not great. Hot crowd helped a lot. ADR works the arm with his average stuff, and Punk sells well and has a good comeback. Finishing run is pretty great and easily their best stuff in the match. ADR exposes the turnbuckle as Ricardo distracts the ref, but Punk avoids going in and drops ADR onto the buckle in a modified GTS for the win.
**3/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown Christmas Special In Fucking November
November 29th, 2011
Charlotte, NC


TONIGHT: MARK HENRY VS. FUCKING DANIEL BRYAN FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IN A GOD DAMNED STEEL CAGE

included an opening segment in which Mick Foley came out dressed as Santa Claus, took the mic, noted it was still November but he was a Christmas fanatic, then saying he was to Christmas what Jim Ross was to barbecue sauce and the Ultimate Warrior was to colorful arm tassels; Foley then noted the Daniel Bryan vs. World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry match later in the show, as well as a streetfight and battle royal; Foley then said Michael Cole would be on the show, despite what he said on Raw, but then introduced Cole, who was forced to appear dressed as Rudolph; Cole then joined Josh Matthews, dressed as an elf, at the commentary table; Foley then introduced Booker T, who came out dressed as Santa and joined Foley in the ring; Foley then said Booker should do the Spinaroonie like a dreidel for all the Jewish fans; after he did, WWE IC Champion Cody Rhodes interrupted and said Booker was making a fool of him and taking time away from those, like Rhodes, who still have the skills to compete; after Booker replied, Foley noted Booker was a five-time former WCW World Champion and set up a match between Rhodes and Booker for later in the show; Booker hesitantly said he was fine with the match after Rhodes left

Before the Divas Clusterfuck Costume Jerk Off Excuse Something on a Pole Match, Foley comes back out and says the winner can kiss anyone they want.

Match #1: Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella vs. AJ vs. Natalya vs. Alicia Fox vs. Kaitlyn vs. Tamina vs. Rosa Mendes [Divas Clusterfuck Costume Jerk Off Excuse Something on a Pole Match]
This is under a minute and Brie wins by retrieving the mistletoe.
1/Masturbation*

Jinder Mahal and cuts a horrible anti-Christmas promo before his match.

Match #2: Jinder Mahal vs. Justin Gabriel
I'd complain about this only getting 2 minutes, but fuck it, Jinder wasn't going to put on a classic or anything. Ted DiBiase distracts Jinder by dressing up as Santa and giving fans presents. Gabriel knocks Jinder down and hits the 450 Splash to win.
1/2*

The WWE Christmas Party is happening in the back. The Usos show Foley how to do the tribal dance. Foley then hits on Maxine and Hornswoggle tries to speak to Dusty. He leaves and Dusty says there are some weird people here. Goldust then shows up and air bites at him. Otunga shows up and tries to shut down the party so they don't violate any more of the WWE's codes of conduct. Foley books him vs. Orton in a Miracle on 34th Street Fight! YES!

FUCKIN KANE.

In the back, Cody jumps Booker T and hits him twice with the belt to lay him out.

Match #3: Tyson Kidd vs. Kofi Kingston
Kidd gets the best 3 minute match possible from this load of dog fuck. Kofi puts on Cole's Rudolph nose and antlers, and hits a Crossbody with them, aided by the power of Rudolph, to get the win.
*3/4

At the Holiday party, Hawkins unsuccessfully tries to pick up Kaitlyn, but Teddy and Aksana leave to make the fuck.

Match #4: Randy Orton vs. David Otunga [Miracle on 34th Street Fight]
THE GREATEST MATCH OH MY GOD. So much fun. Best OTunga performance ever, taking huge bumps and leaning into everything to make it look great. Great use of Christmas props too. Randy takes a break to eat Cole and Josh's cookies before then using the tray. Otunga tries to flee, AND ORTON CHUCKS A PRESENT BOX PERFECTLY INTO THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! Wade comes out to interfere for a nearfall, Randy then makes his comeback and wins with the RKO.
TEN TO TWENTY MILLION STARS

In the back, MOK talks to Teddy. He says Daniel Bryan's dream will be the nightmare before Christmas, and since he's in the spirit of giving, he'll give that boy the worst beating he's ever had.

Match #5: Battle Royal [Winner Gets a Wish from Santa]
This is mostly bullshit, but it could have been worse. Sheamus eliminates all the midcard heels at the end, and Slater takes a gigantic and great bump off the apron. Hornswoggle and Sheamus are the final two. They try to get each other to leave, and they both wind up on the apron. Hornswoggle tricks Sheamus into going to hug him, and then pushes him off to win.
*3/4

Sheamus goes to kill him, but then laughs. FUCK YEAH SHEAMUS is now dead for good.

Back at the party, Santa gives Hornswoggle the ability to speak words.

In the back, Danielson is given a kiss for good luck by AJ. Striker interviews him and says he knows Mark isn't 100%, BUT SOONER OR LATER, EVERYONE TAPS! YEAH!

Match #6: Mark Henry [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [World Heavyweight Championship - Steel Cage Match]
If not for Punk/Cena twice, this would be the Match of the Year. One of those perfect matches where no motion is wasted at all. Every single thing is awesome on some level, be it insane Danielson bumping or MOK's incredible ankle selling or the number of super cool spots. Lots of great big little stuff, and Danielson gradually goes from trying to actually win with his normal stuff to trying to win by going to the ankle to trying to win by whatever comes up, be it submission or escape. Lots of close calls near the end of Danielson escaping, but MOK pulls him back in and hits a SUPER WORLD'S STRONGEST SLAM JESUS CHRIST for the win.
***3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

Top 10 Matches - November 2011:

1. Mark Henry [c] vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (November 29th)
2. CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (November 21st)
3. Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal, Superstars (November 10th)
4. Dolph Ziggler [c] vs. John Morrison, Survivor Series (November 20th)
5. Sheamus/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger, Smackdown (November 25th)
6. Mark Henry [c] vs. The Big Show, Survivor Series (November 20th)
7. Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (November 4th)
8. Randy Orton vs. David Otunga, Smackdown (November 29th)
9. Alberto Del Rio [c] vs. CM Punk, Survivor Series (November 20th)
10. Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (November 28th)

Wrestler of the Month: Dolph Ziggler (15 Points)

Tag Team of the Month: The Usos (5 Points)
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011

WWE Raw
December 5th, 2011
Tampa, FL


featured an opening segment in which John Cena came out to a mixed reaction in which he spoke about being on Piper's Pit the previous week and said there was no show without the audience, then saying he respected those who booed him and appreciated those who cheered him; Cena then noted WWE World Champion CM Punk's win over Alberto Del Rio the previous week and said he wanted to face Rock at WrestleMania 28 for the WWE World Title; moments later, Del Rio interrupted and said the title match was his, with Cena reminding him that Del Rio lost; ADR then showed footage of how Punk used the exposed turnbuckle to beat him; WWE US Champion Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero then walked out, with Ziggler saying he was the one stealing the show each week and deserved the title shot; Cena then asked what Ziggler was going by this week - the cheerleader, Mitch Cumstein - and then said Ziggler was now known as the Showoff; Cena responded by saying Ziggler was too afraid to face Zack Ryder, with Ziggler asking if #overrated was trending on Twitter; Mike Mizanin then interrupted and ran down Cena, Ziggler, and ADR before saying he would be the 2011 WWE Superstar of the Year and the next WWE Champion; John Laurinaitis then walked out and said each man would face a Smackdown wrestler, with the winners earning a WWE World Title shot at TLC and the contract signing would take place later in the show; Laurinaitis then said he had a "social experiment" of a match for Cena, then saying ADR, Ziggler, and Miz would all get the chance of a title shot; Randy Orton then came out as Miz's opponent in the first match

Match #1: The Miz vs. Randy Orton
Hey, this match up still sucks. Great. It goes about 4 minutes until Wade Barrett comes out to distract Orton on the floor, and Miz wins by count out!
*3/4

As a result, Miz gets in the WWE Title match at TLC.

WWE NETWORK. DUBSTEP. FUCK YOUR EARS.

In the back, Johnny talks to Cena and Ryder and says he'll have another experiment and books Cena vs. Ryder and he tells Zack if he wins, he gets a US Title shot and the stipulation for Cena still stands.

; featured a backstage segment with David Otunga telling Kevin Nash he would face Triple H in a ladder match at TLC, with a sledgehammer hanging above the ring and that Nash would be in action later in the show

Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan
Danielson is hurt after the Cage Match, and ADR targets his taped up ribs. This is under 2 minutes unfortunately, and ADR wins with the Cross Armbreaker.
*3/4

Match #3: Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve

Hey, 60 seconds and the faces win. Great use of time here.
1/4*

Match #4: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

Decent, but not great. Both men work better with people who don't have their exact style, so this does not work. Ryder does have a good Flying Forearm though. Cena ends up catching the Rough Ryder and he hits the FU for the win.
**1/2

Ryder is mad post-match, and Cena shakes his head and quickly walks to the back.

In the back, Cena storms into the office and is mad about having to do that and demands Zack gets a title shot. Johnny says he can have another match tonight, and if he wins, he gets the match. Cena is fine with it but Johnny says if he wants it, then he has to give up his WWE Title shot at TLC. Cena thinks about it and says fine, and he says it is next.

Zack is still in the ring, AND HIS OPPONENT IS MARK HENRY AND IT'S NO DQ. AW SHIT.

Match #5: Mark Henry vs. Zack Ryder [No DQ]
This is a pretty awesome MOK mauling for two and a half minutes. Then Cena comes out and hits MOK with the FU, and Zack covers to win!
**

KANE BITCH

Match #6: Kevin Nash vs. Santino Marella
Nash squash that is a minute. At least this whole angle is almost done. Jackknife ends it.
1/2*

Match #7: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero

Great 4 minutes. Ziggler does all the work with his offense and bumping and shit and then loses to the Brogue Kick.
**1/4

included a closing in-ring contract signing segment in which Laurinaitis joined ADR, alongside Ricardo Rodriguez, and Miz in the ring, with Laurinaitis saying World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry would face Cena the following week; Punk then came out and moved the table out of the way, calling the contract signing the staple cliche of the WWE and there hadn't been one without a fight since Hogan vs. Andre at WrestleMania III; Laurinaitis then said the title match would be a TLC match; moments later, Punk noted he pinned ADR the previous week and Miz got beat at Survivor Series, with Miz reminding him he beat up R-Truth and injured John Morrison so badly that Laurinaitis had to release him; Punk responded by saying he, unlike Miz, didn't have TMZ on speed dial to let them know when he was arriving at LAX hoping they would show up to cover him; ADR reminded Punk that he won the Royal Rumble, Money in the Bank, and beat Punk for the title at Summer Slam, with Miz saying Punk would not leave TLC with the title and ADR agreeing; all three men then signed the contract, with Laurinaitis asking for a photographer to get a photo of all the participants for WWE.com, with Punk instigating a fight amongst he, ADR, and Miz; moments later, Punk attempted the Go To Sleep on Ricardo before he was attacked by ADR; Punk eventually fought off Miz before putting ADR through a table, then dropping Miz with the GTS

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
December 9th, 2011
Jacksonville, FL


Clips air to open the show of Booker T coming out to do commentary, and Cody Rhodes attacked Booker from behind.

Cody is now on commentary to replace him for now.

TONIGHT: a Beat the Clock Challenge between Orton and Wade to see who picks the stipulation for their match at TLC. Joy.

Match #1: Wade Barrett vs. Ezekiel Jackson [Beat the Clock Challenge]
They get around 8 minutes or so to work, so it is not awful. They work reasonably well together, and certainly better than Orton and Wade do. Wade beats Zeke with the Black Hole Slam.
**1/4

Wade's time is 7:53. He gets on the mic and says he's already beaten and embarrassed Randy Orton, and the only voice in Randy's head right now is his.

included a backstage segment with Teddy Long and David Otunga in which Otunga complained about having to wrestle the previous week against Randy Orton, with Long saying Otunga would face Sheamus later in the show

featured Josh Matthews conducting an in-ring interview with Daniel Bryan, his ribs taped, about his steel cage loss the previous week against World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry; moments into Bryan's comments, Michael Cole interrupted leading to a shouting match between the two; Bryan eventually left the ring to go after Cole, with Rhodes blindsiding Bryan until he was pulled away; Cole continued to yell at Bryan as Bryan was helped by medics and officials, with Rhodes then returning backstage

Match #2: Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater
Solid 90 second Ryder showcase. Rough Ryder ends it.
*1/2

DID YOU KNOW: WCW FEEDBACK. SOMEBODY.

Match #3: Ted DiBiase vs. Jinder Mahal
This is 3 minutes of horrible and Ted wins with Dream Street.
3/4*

included an in-ring promo by Show in which he noted it had been 9 years since he beat Brock Lesnar to win the WWE World Title, and said the perfect time to become champion again is when he faces Henry at TLC; moments later, Henry interrupted and said he had something to tell Show to his face if Show would promise not to touch him in the ring; Henry then said he wanted bygones to be bygones and just go out and put on a great match at TLC, with the two shaking hands; moments later, Henry blindsided Show, with Show immediately hitting a spear and then attacking Henry's injured leg; Show then took a steel chair from the commentary area and twice hit Henry with the weapon

Match #4: Sheamus vs. David Otunga
SQUASH.
*1/4

Match #5: Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes

Good stuff. Only 6 minutes because of a commercial though, and that holds it back obviously. Booker T comes out after Danielson knocks Cody to the floor, and he attacks Cody for the DQ! YEAH BOOKER T!
**1/2

Cody runs away post-match.

WWE NETWORK.

featured a backstage segment with Long and Aksana in which Aksana asked Long to help her get her own show on the WWE Network, with Rhodes then walking in and saying he wanted a match with Booker T; Long agreed, said the match would be at TLC, and would be for the IC title

Match #6: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero [Beat the Clock Challenge]
Really good stuff, but not great. They do stuff, and it is a frantic and good, but due to the time contraint, Ziggler never really gets to get going on his control seg. Orton wins with the RKO with 2 seconds left.
**3/4

Wade attacks from behind. He says Orton gets to pick the stipulation now, but he wants to make his own suggestion. He pulls out a table and sets it up, but Orton fights back. Wade bails, and Orton Powerbombs Ziggler through the table. :(
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Raw - THE SLAMMIES
December 12th, 2011
Norfolk, VA


I have no real desire to waste 2+ hours reviewing this show in full. Yeah, I'm awful.

featured an opening segment in which Hornswoggle and Booker T, alongside Eve, came out to present for "Tell Me I Did Not Just See That" Award - nominees included Jim Ross dancing in the ring, Santino Marella almost winning the Royal Rumble, a young fan throwing a drink at R-Truth at Capital Punishment, the Miz dressing up as the Rock, with the winner being JR; JR was then escorted out by Alicia Fox and Eve, with Michael Cole then interrupting and insulting JR; Booker intervened and said JR could beat Cole in a rap off, with the two then having a rap battle for the Slammy and the crowd cheering for JR's performance; moments later, JR went to leave the ring until Booker brought him back in and had him do a Spinaroonie

JR's Rap: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdE-5zZIQSE

included Mick Foley & Ted Dibiase coming out to present "Holy (bleep) Moment of the Year" - nominees included Sheamus's powerbomb on Sin Cara through a ladder, Randy Orton's RKO on Christian onto the steel steps, the Big Show / Mark Henry superplex which broke the ring, and Evan Bourne's Air Bourne off the top of a ladder at Money in the Bank, with the winner being Show & Henry; Show then accepted and said he would be visually spectacular in the night's opening match

Match #1: The Big Show vs. Wade Barrett
Hey, this still sucks. At least it's only like 2 minutes. Wade brings in a chair for the DQ, and Show punches it out of his hand and Wade bails.
*1/4

TONIGHT: CENA VS. MOK

featured an ad promoting the following night's Tribute to the Troops; included the Road Dogg, escorted out by Eve and Alicia, in which he announced WWE World Champion CM Punk as the winner of Pipe Bomb of the Year; Punk then walked out with a mannequin wearing a blonde wig and 1989 Dynamic Dudes T-shirt; Punk then introduced a tribute to John Laurinaitis

YOUVE GOT THE TOUCH: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxKms8bh9JY

included Lita presenting the award for Divalicious Moments - Natalya Neidhart putting two women in the Sharpshooter at the same time, Kelly Kelly winning the title, Kharma attacking Michelle McCool, and Beth Phoenix's Glam Slam on Eve from the top rope, with the winner being Kelly; after Kelly came out, Beth and Natalya interrupted, with Beth taking the Slammy by force until Kelly smacked her in the face and took it back

included Santino, Nikki & Brie Bella presenting for "OMG Moment of the Year" with nominees being Triple H dropping the Undertaker with the tombstone, the Rock hitting Cena with the Rock Bottom at WrestleMania, the WWE superstar walk out of Raw, and Punk winning the title at Money in the Bank - with HHH / Taker winning; moments later, Triple H walked out to the ring, said the real OMG moment was when Taker couldn't leave the ring under his own power and the fact he hasn't yet returned speaks volumes about the injuries he sustained; Triple H then spoke about his upcoming sledgehammer match against Kevin Nash; Triple H then confronted Santino at the entrance stage, with Santino running backstage

featured David Otunga & Tony Atlas announcing the nominees for Trending Star of the Year - WWE IC Champion Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan, WWE US Champion Dolph Ziggler, and Zack Ryder, adding that the nominees would have a match and the winner of the award would be named afterwards AHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEH

Match #2: Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
They get 10+ minutes, and it is awesome. D-Bry has a ton of experience laying out four way matches and spotfests after being in ROH so long, and this is a great four way spotfest. The faces have awesome dives, and Ziggler takes massive bumps all match. Him vs. Danielson is the best possible pairing. Really frantic finishing run, and Ziggler hits D-Bry with the Peace Zig for the win.
***

Ryder is awarded the Slammy for trending, and Ziggler then hits him with the Peace Zig too, and he leaves with the Slammy.

included Christian, on crutches and in a neckbrace, presenting for "Game Changer of the Year" - nominees included Triple H firing Vince McMahon, Edge retiring, Kevin Nash returning, and the Rock challenging Cena to a match at WrestleMania; Cena then came out to accept to a negative response, with Cena saying he wanted to share the award and introduced the Rock; Cena then made fun of the fact Rock wasn't at the arena after Rock said he would never leave again, then acting surprised when Rock didn't even send a satellite clip to show on the big screen; Cena then cut a promo on facing Rock at WrestleMania

B A STAR.

Match #3: CM Punk/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz
Decent stuff. Not great, since Orton vs. Miz is one of the worst possible main event pairings. Punk vs. ADR and vs. Miz are both still on that level of "good, not quite great". Barrett comes out and attacks Orton on the floor, and then Orton chases him away through the crowd. Miz then hits the Skull Crushing Finale to win.
**1/2

ADR brings in a ladder and uses it to put Punk in the Cross Armbreaker in the ladder for a while. He lets go, and Miz says one of them will be WWE Champion.

included Vickie Guerrero and Goldust as presenters for 'A Lister of the Year' with the nominees - Snooki, the Muppets, Hugh Jackman, and Cee-Lo Green, with Snooki winning; Snooki then appeared on the big screen in a pretaped clip in which she thanked the crowd and praised Ryder

Jinder cuts a promo before his match with Sheamus, so Sheamus Brogue Kicks him and leaves.

included Rey Mysterio Jr. presenting for "Superstar of the Year" with nominees Randy Orton, Miz, Punk, Alberto Del Rio, Henry, and Cena, with Punk winning; Mysterio then introduced Punk, with Laurinaitis walking out and saying Punk was in no condition to win the award, and accepted it for him

1/2/12

Match #4: John Cena vs. Mark Henry
This is not great. They have a great longer match in 2012, but this is 4-5 minutes as a preview of a potential awesome match. Big MOK power spots, Cena struggling to find his strength, MOK ankle selling, etc. All great stuff. BUT THEN THE PYRO HITS AND MOTHERFUCKING KANE COMES OUT WITH THE MASK. MATCH IS OVER.
**1/2

KANE KILLS CENA. FUCKING KANE BITCH.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Smackdown
December 16th, 2011
Raleigh, NC


TONIGHT: Orton/Ryder vs. Wade/Ziggler

The show opens with Josh in the ring and he brings out Booker T for an interview. He asks about the match with Cody and Booker says it's just a punk kid trying to legitimize himself, and Josh asks if he wins the belt, will he return to the ring full time. Booker says if he wins the belt, he's going to defend it until somebody can beat him for it. Booker says Cody will get the beating of his life, but Cody Rhodes comes out. He says nostalgia is all well and good, but at TLC, it would be fleeting, and he didn't need Booker T to legitimize him, because he's more legitimate of an Intercontinental Champion than he ever was. He says he's going to fight Daniel Bryan again now, and if Booker T interferes, he will lose his match at TLC, and will be suspended, and Booker leaves the ring.

Match #1: Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
This time they get a full 7 minutes or so uninterrupted by a commercial, so that was nice. I don't totally understand why since Danielson has gotten better out of much worse wrestlers than Cody, but they don't seem to be capable of a great match together on TV. Cody wins with the Cross Rhodes.
**3/4

Match #2: Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Alicia wins with a cradle in a minute. BOOO.
1/45*

A video airs of the funniest moments from 2011. RANDY RILEY RANDY RILEY RANDY RILEY JIMMY. It's pretty much 90% R-Truth.

Match #3: Primo/Epico w/ Rosa Mendes vs. The Usos
Great 3 minute showcase to get the Colons another win for their title program. Great hot tag by whichever Uso did that, and Rosa causes a distraction to enable to Lungblower for the win.
**

Match #4: The Big Show vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero

Mark Henry comes out to watch. This was not good. Pairing still blows. Show wins with the KO Punch after Swagger targeted the ankle to hardly any success.
*1/2

MOK hits Swagger with a chair on the floor and he leaves.

In the back, Ryder asks Orton if they're on the same page. He says no, and Ryder asks if they're on the same book. Orton says maybe and Ryder says SIIIIICK and leaves. Orton looks at him with this fantastic look of loathing.

Match #5: Ted DiBiase vs. Heath Slater
Good enough sub 3 minutes. They have a lot of surprisingly slick matwork in the first minute or so. Then Slater takes a lot of huge bumps and Ted wins with Dream Street.
**

Jinder Mahal comes out and attacks Ted. T'Lo comes out and says if he wants a fight ,he can go one on one wit...Sheamus. :( Doesn't have the same ring.

Match #6: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal
Overly long squash. Jinder's offense is the worst and his bumping is marginally above total dog shit. He wins with the Brogue Kick.
1/2*

RAW REBOUND!

Match #7: Randy Orton/Zack Ryder vs. Wade Barrett/Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero
It is good, but thankfully, it is not great due to the horrible Wade/Orton pairing. Both Ziggler pairings are great and carry the match. Orton has his hot tag, and then Wade refuses to get in when he's on fire, and yep, Ziggler loses to the RKO once again.
**1/2


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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Mark Henry, Since 9/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Dolph Ziggler, Since 6/19/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


Posted Image


WWE TLC 2011
December 18th, 2011
Baltimore, MD

Match #1: Dolph Ziggler [c] w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Zack Ryder [WWE U.S. Championship]

Awesome job. I think this was actually one of the best builds all year, although a lot of it took place off TV on the web shows and twitter updates. Did an excellent job making the US Title seem important again. D-Bry/Miz was less about the belt than a grudge, so this is the most important the belt has felt since the MVP/Matt Hardy feud. As for the match, it's a total Ziggler match with Ryder along for the ride. Ryder did fine for himself though. Awesome finishing run of nearfalls, AND RYDER HITS THE ROUGH RYDER TO WIN! YEAH!
***

ZACK'S DAD AND THE BIG O FREAK OUT IN THE CROWD! FUCK YEAH! Always amazing to see someone legitimately happy to win a title like this.

In the back, Booker is talking to Alicia, and Cody jumps him from behind and beats him down before he is pulled off.

Match #2: Air Boom [c] vs. Primo/Epico w/ Rosa Mendes [WWE Tag Team Championship]
Only got 7 minutes, but showed that they have a great match in them if they got a few more minutes. Bourne does all the heavy lifting and Primo and Epico do a solid enough job not fucking anything up and occasionally having great moments. Primo then bumps awesomely on the comeback and hot tag. Kofi manages to be average. Which is huge for him, considering he's the worst guy in the company who regularly gets time. Kofi beats Primo with The Fucking Kick after an awesome Bourne dive to Epico.
**3/4

In the back, Josh is outside the trainer's room and says he assumes the match is off, but it is not official. Great update, Josh.

In the back, T'Lo Santa gives Hornswoggle a present of Rosetta Stone: Ebonics. Hornswoggle pulls his beard down and steps on his foot and leaves.

Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett [Tables Match]
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. This is their least shitty match so far, but it was still a long ways from good. Some decent close calls with a table at the end, and Wade foolishly jumps at Orton from the middle rope with a table between them, and Orton hits the RKO through the table to win.
**

In the back, Santa T'Lo tries to hit on the Bellas and is slapped. Jack Swagger comes in and says this is ridiculous and he's the worst GM, so he books him vs. Sheamus. OH MY GOD, TEDDY. YOU ARE THE FUCKING WORST.

Match #4: Beth Phoenix [c] vs. Kelly Kelly [WWE Divas Championship]
Nattie and Eve are there as usual. Decent stuff, and Beth wins with the Reverse Powerbomb thing.
**

In the back, ADR and Miz talk and argue about who had a better year. ADR says Miz couldn't even take Ricardo or his pool boy. Ricardo comes on with food, and Miz shoves it in his face and leaves.

ROYAL RUMBLE: JANUARY 29TH!

Booker T comes out, not selling even a little bit, and Cody Rhodes runs on and attacks him from behind. He stomps him for like 10 seconds before referees make him leave. Booker is helped to the back, despite a relatively tame beating.

Hype video for H/Nash.

Match #5: Triple H vs. Kevin Nash [Sledgehammer Ladder Match]
I'll say this now. This is better than it should have been. Which is really not that huge of a compliment, given that it's 2011 and neither is really that great. It really means that they put on an average match. So good for them, I guess. BUT HOLY SHIT, 18 MINUTES? WHAT THE FUCK?! \They took a long time to get going as the first half was full of shitty strikes and clearly missed ladder spots. But they got going once H targeted the knee a little. Nash didn't sell for shit, but that was obvious. He takes a big table bump and then a Pedigree. H has the hammer and Nash tries to throw up the Wolfpac sign to protect himself. H throws a crotch chop and hits him with a sledgehammer blow to the area near his jaw to win.
**1/4

In the back, Striker interviews Punk and Johnny comes on. Punk asks where his Slammy is and Johnny says he mailed it, but it is the holiday season, so it will probably be a while. He tells him to worry more about tonight and Punk says he's not worried and he'll still be champion. Johnny wishes him luck and Punk says luck is for losers and leaves. Johnny then TEXTS~!

Match #6: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero
This is their "best" match yet. Not a real accomplishment, since it got there by having less Swagger offense than their first two matches. Sheamus makes his comeback, and he wins with the Brogue Kick. This really didn't need to be on PPV.
*3/4

PLEASE TRY THIS AT HOME.

Hype video for MOK/Show.

Match #7: Mark Henry [c] vs. The Big Show [World Heavyweight Championship - Chairs Match]
Truly infuriating. Had Mark not gotten injured at some point, this probably would have been his definite clean win and he would move onto another feud or two before the Sheamus feud at WrestleMania. That would have been fine. But they panicked here and took the belt off of him, despite him then being fine within a few weeks. And yet, I could have dealt with this more easily if the match wasn't only 5 minutes and mostly Big Show offense. Big Show gets the JO Punch into a chair to...to fucking win. This is the way the best title reign of the year ends. This is the way Mark Fucking Henry's World Title reign ends. Not with a bang, but with a whimper. Fuck you.
**1/2

MOK knows he's been fucking robbed, and destroys Big Show with chair shots. AND THEN A DDT ON A PILE OF CHAIRS TOO!

BUT FUCK YOUR SHIT BIG SHOW.

Posted Image

Match #8: The Big Show [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [World Heavyweight Championship]
DANIELSON COVERS AND WINS THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD TITLE!
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Posted Image

WWE NETWORK. DROP THE BASS. GET HIGH. JERK OFF IN THE GYM.

Match #9: Cody Rhodes [c] vs. Booker T [WWE Intercontinental Championship]
Booker is still not selling. In fact, they wrestle like he's still 100%. So hey, why even do the attacks then? Why not just have the young guy you're pushing go over clean? This is a fine enough 7 minutes. Not amazing, but it's 2011 Booker T and he's been on the decline since 2004, so you kind of take what you can get. Cody hits two of the Beautiful Disaster kicks for the win.
**1/2

Match #10: CM Punk [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. The Miz [WWE Championship - TLC Match]

Great spotfest. Everyone deserves credit for making this great. Lots of inventive spots, and most of them were set up in ways that looked like they were actually trying to win. Everything escalated logically, and they had some awesome close calls. Ricardo gets involved, and he handcuffs Punk to the ladder. He kicks his way free and uses the other cuff as a weapon. ADR gets super aggressive and has his best performance ever. Ricardo takes the craziest bump of the night, falling off a ladder in the ring through a table on the floor. Miz handcuffs Punk to the ring cable, so he frantically tries to undo the middle rope. He gets free and knocks ADR off the ladder. He hits Miz with the GTS and gets the belt down.
***1/4

Potentially awesome PPV that got bogged down by booking stuff that didn't need to be there. But the future looks pretty bright.

Posted Image

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011
World Heavyweight Champion: Daniel Bryan, Since 12/18/2011
WWE U.S. Champion: Zack Ryder, Since 12/18/2011
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 8/12/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
WWE Tag Team Champions: Air Boom, Since 8/22/2011
WWE Diva's Champion: Beth Phoenix, Since 10/2/2011


WWE Raw
December 19th, 2011
Philadelphia, PA


A drumroll open the show and CM Punk introduces himself as still the WWE Champion and comes out to the ring. He recaps his match and says a lot of people never thought he would hold this title, and on that note, he then introduces the NEW U.S. Champion, Zack Ryder! They fist bump and Ryder leads the crowd in a WOO WOO WOO. He then introduces YOUR NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, DANIEL BRYAN! Punk talks about the wrestling history here and says he met Daniel Bryan about 10 years ago at the FUCKING MURPHY REC CENTER! YEAH! This is so fucking cool. He says this picture right here shows that when you bust your ass, it is not for nothing, and they all have something to show for it. Zack gets the mic and says he had to call his dad to make sure this is real and all three fist pump again. Danielson says a lot of people said he would never even make it to the WWE and who gave him nothing but trouble like Michael Cole, AND HE PROVED THEM ALL WRONG. YES. The Miz comes out and glares at them, and then Dolph Ziggler and ADR also come out. They walk down to the ring to fight, but Johnny cuts it off and books a six man later. AWESOME SEGMENT.

Posted Image

Match #1: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
This is below mediocre yet again. They get 5 minutes and Wade is DQ'd for going to the eyes. Fart.
*1/2

after the match, Barrett continued to attack Orton and dropped him with the sidewalk slam; moments later, Barrett pulled a table out from under the ring, set it up in the ring, and put Orton through it with Wasteland; referees then came out to tend to Orton as Barrett left the ring

Match #2: Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox
This is 45 seconds and Alicia gets the upset with her hideous Flipping Legdrop.
1/4*

Alicia gets on the mic and wishes everyone a foxy Christmas.

Match #3: Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal
Horrible yet again. Sheamus wins with the Brogue Kick in under 2 minutes. At least their matches are becoming shorter.
1/2*

included an in-ring promo by John Cena in which he addressed the attack he sustained the previous week from Kane, then called out Kane; moments later, Mark Henry appeared instead and limped to the ring while replying to Cena, prompting a chant from the crowd of "Sexual Chocolate;" Henry then entered the ring and said Cena would have to worry about him, with Kane's pyro then going off and Kane walking out to the ring; moments later, Kane confronted Henry at ringside before ignoring him and fighting with Cena in the ring; Kane eventually threw Cena over the announce table, assaulted him, ripped his shirt off, and then left ringside

Match #4: The Usos vs. Primo/Epico w/ Rosa Mendes
This is essentially of the same quality as their match on Smackdown, as it gets roughly the same time. Good hot tag by the Usos, and Primo wins after a Rosa distraction allows him to hit the Lungblower.
**

In the back, Cody Rhodes says he is the clear pick to win the Royal Rumble. Santino comes over and gives Cody a present. It is a box, and a fake cobra pops out. Cody shakes his head and leaves.

Match #5: Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella
This gets about 90 seconds. Decent enough Cody showcase, and he wins with the Alabama Slam. HOW DA YA LIKE ME NOW?!
*1/4

included a backstage segment with Laurinaitis, Nikki & Brie Bella, and David Otunga in which the Bellas argued, with Laurinaitis telling them he would take care of it and the two then kissing him on the cheek; moments later, Vickie Guerrero showed up, with Hornswoggle appearing behind her with mistletoe and kissing her

In the back, Josh interviews Big Show. Show says it took him 9 years to regain a World Title, and he can't believe he lost it that quickly. Josh says he's probably the shortest reigning World Champion ever, and Show glares at him and leaves.

Match #6: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio/The Miz w/ Vickie Guerrero
Tons of fun. The babyfaces all make their entrances through the crowd. The faces work staple babyface tag team spots like the double leapfrog into a drop down and dropkick, etc. Ziggler takes completely insane bumps again. TRIPLE DIVE GOING INTO COMMERCIAL! Ryder is a solid face in peril and then the finishing run is great. Bryan makes ADR tap out to the LeBell Lock.
***
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