| Simon Watches TNA - 2007; I WILL BECOME IMMORTAL | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 17 2012, 10:55 PM (5,294 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 12:20 AM Post #21 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage, Since 1/14/2007 NWA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact April 26th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Sting vs. Kurt Angle [#1 Contender's Match] This is about 3 minutes, so I guess that makes up for it being on TV. They do things and like 2 actual moves are done and then the Christian Coalition, now including AJ, comes out to beat them both up for a no contest. 3/4* In the back, The Christian Coalition is interviewed. Christian says Kurt never deserved to be in that match, and he's selfish and all three of these men should have gotten to fight Sting for the match. He says even Shark Boy and Sonjay Dutt deserve shots before Angle. He the tells Tomko and Steiner to win the tag titles tonight. At ringside, Don West loses his shit and says Cornette has just booked Christian vs. Sting for the title TONIGHT! YOU'VE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME. Match #1: Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt vs. Alex Shelley/Kaz vs. Shark Boy/Senshi vs. Jerry Lynn/Petey Williams [Winning Team Gets Triple Threat X Title Shot at Sacrifice] They do spots for like 2 minutes and Lethal beats Kaz with the Flying Elbow. Dutt is not happy. *1/4 Nash comes out to raise both of their hands, and Dutt leaves. Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks come out and demand Eric Young comes out to reveal who his friend is. Eric Young comes out and is serious. He says Roode has everything, but all he has is pro wrestling, and Roode is trying to take it away from him. He says his friend has been there for months and he's listened to everything he has to say, and Roode can fire him if he wants, but his word will not be broken. Roode dares him to do something, and says he doesn't have the guts to do anything and he's always been a disappointment, so Eric hits him! Traci gets a low blow though, and Roode bloodies Eric with a chair. Jeff Jarrett comes out to save though, and they yell that he's the friend, and he hits Ms. Brooks with a guitar. Konnan comes out to do commentary. Match #3: Team 3D [c] vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko [NWA World Tag Team Championship] The challengers do their best to make this not suck, and they succeed. But it is not very good yet. LAX comes out to interfere, but it accidentally hits Tomko, who is then beat with the Reverse 3D. *3/4 The Coalition and LAX brawl post-match. EYE SPY PRODUCTIONS: In the back, Shelley asks Backlund about losing to Nash in 8 seconds. Backlund says it was a fluke and Nash couldn't do it now, but he could beat Shelley in 8 seconds. Sabin then attacks Bob from behind, and they beat him down. Match #4: Christian Cage [c] vs. Sting [NWA World Heavyweight Championship] They show about 3 minutes of this. Kurt Angle runs back out, and he attacks Cage for the DQ. *3/4 AJ and Tomko come out to drag Christian to safety and then Sting hits Angle with the bat for fucking up his shot. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 02:02 AM Post #22 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage, Since 1/14/2007 NWA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 3rd, 2007 Orlando, FL Angle and Sting are fighting in the arena, and they get pulled apart. When pulled apart, they both blame each other for not getting a title shot. Christian Cage comes out and challenges them to team up tonight against he and AJ Styles, and whoever gets the pin gets the title shot, and if they lose, neither gets it, and Sting accepts. It is supposed to be Team 3D vs. Samoa Joe and Rhino, but when Rhino comes out for his side with Team 3D in the ring, Christopher Daniels attacks him from behind with the bat. Samoa Joe then comes out, and he throws him in. Joe and Team 3D beat on Daniels, and Rhino gets back in. They set up a table in the corner, and Rhino puts him through a table with the Gore. Weird angle. They've been pushing Daniels HARD for the last 2 months, presumably for a big Sting match, so this really didn't make a ton of sense. In the back, JB is with Christian and AJ. AJ says he didn't want this match and says Christian's always getting him into trouble. Christian says he knows it was a surprise, but if they win, that might mean AJ could become #1 Contender with Sting and Angle out of the way, and AJ says he'll do it. Recap of all the Roode/EY stuff. Robert Roode comes out and Traci is in a neck brace. He says he's going to fire Eric Young, and Jim Cornette comes out. He says Eric Young was already under contract to TNA, so Roode's contract doesn't count. Well, what the fuck? Why let this go on for three months after he signed then? Roode yells at Cornette and shoves him down. Eric Young comes out and brawls with him and it sucks. He gets a guitar, but Roode goes to the eyes. He handcuffs Eric Young to the ropes and slaps him. He gets the guitar and says for the first time that it pays to be Roode, and breaks the guitar on his head! Cornette is mad and books Roode vs. Jarrett at Sacrifice! Match #1: Jackie Moore vs. Gail Kim [Street Fight] This was pretty great. For once the horrible match times on Impact benefit them. Who wants to see this go over 5 minutes? Nobody. But 3-4 minutes of cool spots and violence? Sure! Gail dropkicks a chair into JAckie's face to win. ** James Storm comes out and Jackie attacks Gail. Chris Harris comes out and Storm mocks his eye. He climbs in AND YANKS OFF THE EYEPATCH AND ATTACKS STORM! FUCK YEAH HIS EYE IS BETTER AND THEY CAN FINALLY HAVE REAL MATCHES! FUCK YEAH! Tenay now says it's Harris vs. Storm in a Texas Death Match at Sacrifice. Team 3D vs. LAX vs. Steiner/Tomko for the tag belts is also booked, so this may be the first PPV with all the titles on the line in three ways. Match #2: Christian Cage/AJ Styles vs. Sting/Kurt Angle They get about 6 minutes, so it should be good. Angle looks best against AJ, which is not shocking since he's a wrestler in TNA. This suffers from TNA's weird editing again, as they get rid of the control segment by the heels, so all your faces look weak. At least you have the two best bumpers in the main event scene doing stuff here, I suppose. Angle and Sting do a Double Ankle Lock and AJ for the win. They did it willingly, which makes NO sense at all given the gimmick. *3/4 Cornette makes the obvious triple threat for the belt. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 12:40 PM Post #23 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage, Since 1/14/2007 NWA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 10th, 2007 Orlando, FL Whoops. Homicide vs. Scott Steiner vs. Brother Devon - *1/4 Christy Hemme debuted Basham and the Damaja to take out VKM MCMG vs. Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt - ** AJ Styles/James Storm/Christopher Daniels vs. Samoa Joe/Chris Harris/Rhino - **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 06:21 PM Post #24 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage, Since 1/14/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY ![]() TNA Sacrifice 2007 May 13th, 2007 Orlando, FL This is the show when the NWA took their titles back or whatever. They have yet to replace the graphics for the title matches, but they call them the World Tag Team or World Heavyweight Championships all night. Wikipedia says between this show and Impact, they get the new modern title belts and add the TNA name on. Match #1: Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt [TNA X Division Championship] Very good opener. Sabin vs. Lethal is again the best pairing in the division, but instead on focusing on a natural chemistry between the most likeable babyface in the division and a great heel champion, they focus the match on Lethal and Dutt's dissension. Still though, Sabin gets the best out of Dutt, and gets a roll up on Dutt with the tights to win. **3/4 Lethal and Dutt argue post-match, and Kevin Nash comes out. He calms them down, but Dutt kicks him in the knee and runs to the back. In the back, Roode says he still owns Eric Young (which implies Cornette is as useless an authority figure as suspected, since he's letting this contract tampering go). Roode then says he's going to make his name off of Jeff Jarrett tonight and will go from star to superstar. Hype video for Jarrett/Roode. In the back, Nash is with JB and says he won't chase Dutt, but on Impact, Sonjay's ass is his. Footage airs of The Basham and The Damaja attacking VKM at an autograph signing, and they say BG is in the hospital, so it's a handicap match now. Match #2: Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks Fuck yeah, fired up babyface Jarrett. He was a great babyface in 2002-3, but he got booked too strongly against guys the fans loved, so they turned on him. Without that support he had at one point, him as a face was useless, so they turned him heel. And you forgot how great he could be as a face. Shame he's gone again soon, because him as a gatekeeper type veteran babyface could seriously rule. And probably will in 2008-9. Jarrett gives Roode his first great singles match and makes him come out of this looking like the next top heel in a few years. Jarrett takes huge bumps and guides him through shit. Good overbooking at the end. Jarrett hits the Stroke, but Brooks pulls the ref out. She is ejected and as it's argued, Roode hits Jarrett with handcuffs, but the argument allows Jarrett to kick out. He goes for the Stroke again, but Roode throws him into an exposed buckle and he wins with the Payoff. *** Roode gets the guitar and goes to hit Jeff with it, but Eric Young runs out to save. Brooks runs out again, and Jarrett and Eric do Stereo Figure Fours. Hype video for Daniels/Rhino, somehow. Match #3: Christopher Daniels vs. Rhino Daniels again comes out wearing a Sting mask. This happened. Daniels is now officially past his prime, and he can't really carry a guy like Rhino anymore. He targets the arm with lots of really pedestrian arm work that is clearly not the best he's capable of. Feels like he's clearly holding back. And there's a huge difference between working smart because you're only the third match on this night and either not giving a fuck or being held back. It is irrelevant anyways, as Rhino doesn't bother selling it at all. Daniels then uses a bat to the arm and then a schoolboy for the win. ** Rhino gets up and chases Daniels to the back. He comes back with him within a minute as replays are shown, and Daniels is bloody now. He beats him back to the ring and throws chairs in, but security comes out to break it up. I guess they're not building Daniels up for a Sting match at all then. Match #4: Kip James vs. Basham/The Damaja w/ Christy Hemme HORRIBLE. Kip obviously loses. 1/2* They keep beating on him until Lance Hoyt comes out to save. Hype video for Harris/Storm. In the back, Leticia interviews Chris Harris, and he has an AMW shirt on. He says what's going through his mind is this, and he points to the shirt. He says they were the heart and soul of this company, but somewhere along the way, James Storm forgot about all they both put into the team. He says he could have just asked if he wanted to end the team, and says they'd taken breaks before, and they remained friends. But Storm smashed a beer bottle across his face and for 5 months, he woke up every day wondering if it would be the day he could see again, and if it would be the day he could come back. He says there's a difference between revenge and payback, and Storm got a little bit of his revenge, but tonight, he's getting the full payback. Great fucking promo. Match #5: Chris Harris vs. James Storm w/ Jackie Moore [Texas Death Match] Unbelievably great match. They begin with an amazing slugfest, with the level of hate you'd expect from two best friends who now hate each other. Then they have a crowd brawl, AND HARRIS COMES OFF THE TOP AND INTO THE CROWD WITH A CROSSBODY! FUCK YEAH! I won't recap every pin, but they all make sense, which is often a problem in Texas Death Matches. Both men bleed a TON and have great moments of exhaustion selling. They do progressively huger spots as the match goes on, and after the Catatonic on a garbage can, Jackie gets Harris with a low blow. Gail then runs out and in a great payoff spot to AMW's heel shit and Storm's run over the last few months, Gail handcuffs Jackie to her, and drags her to the back. Both men get up with beer bottles, but Harris is faster and hits first and breaks it on Storm's head. He covers and Storm doesn't get up before 10, so Harris wins. **** Probably the second best match in TNA history after Joe/AJ in December 2005. For once in TNA, where even the most boring feuds get tons of PPV matches, it's actually a shame that a feud didn't have more matches, because it seems like they had at least 3-4 other smaller brawls in them to lead up to this. It's also incredibly surprising that an all-time great team like this has a blowoff that is deserving of their feud. Edge vs. Christian sucked, Matt vs. Jeff was decent but not great, Arn vs. Tully never happened, and Steen vs. Generico was great, but it never really ENDS with them. But this delivered. And in a fucking Vince Russo booked fed too. Defies logic. In the back, JB interviews Sting. Daniels tries to talk to him, but Sting says he misinterpreted what he told him when he said to look for spiritual guidance. Daniels says he understood perfectly, and he leaves. Sting is bewildered, but moves on, and cuts an unmemorable promo about how he's still the icon, and he wants his title back. IT'S SHOWTIME, FOLKS. Match #6: Alex Shelley vs. Senshi vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Tiger Mask IV Ugh. Fucking Tiger Mask. This is when he came to America for a few weeks and had a few touring matches. He's the worst. AJ Styles couldn't get a good match out of him with some 10-15 minutes in IWA-MS, and Mike Quackenbush, in his career peak at this point, could barely get a good match from him in the infamous FIGHT SPORTS MIDWEST. So nobody here is going to do it, since it's a 10 minute spotfest also involving Lynn. Jerry is probably psyched Tiger Mask IV is here, as he makes Lynn look spry and crisp and innovative in comparison. Shelley carries TM4 and Lynn the best he can, and then Shelley vs. Ki is the best. Horribly, Lynn beats Shelley with a roll up. **1/2 Shelley attacks post-match, and Chris Sabin comes out to help him. Bob Backlund comes out to save, and he runs off the MCMG. In the back, Tomko and Steiner argue and Tomko says he can't discuss strategy with a man who thinks Germany bombed Pearl Harbor, and he walks off. Match #7: Team 3D [c] vs. Scott Steiner/Tomko vs. LAX w/ Konnan [TNA World Tag Team Championship] Konnan and Hector Guerrero glare at each other. This is not bad, but not great. LAX is the best team obviously, but Steiner also shows a lot, as he takes a huge German Suplex bump and is really active. Tomko continues to improve almost with every match. Steiner and Tomko miscommunicate and Tomko is beat with the 3D. **1/4 Steiner and Tomko argue again. Tomko then cheap shots Steiner and beats him down, but Rick Steiner comes out to make the save. Hype video for Joe/AJ, somehow, despite it getting no build. Match #8: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles This delivers, because this pairing can't fail. AJ delivers as cowardly little shit, despite being way too good for that stuff. Takes huge bumps and sets all Joe's big stuff up perfectly. And despite them both being in the opposite roles that made their last PPV match the best TNA match ever, they still have a really amazing chemistry against each other. Awesome finishing run as you would expect at this point. Everything is smooth and crisp and shit. AJ faked an injury earlier to get ahead, and at the end, Joe does it himself in revenge. Joe breaks out a Sleeper Suplex for the win. ***1/4 Hype video for the main event. Match #9: Christian Cage [c] vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sting [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] This happens. Christian can't carry both men at once or reign in Angle all match. At least it is only 10 minutes or so. There's a ref bump and another one comes out. Sting schoolboys Christian for the win as Kurt also has Sting in the Ankle Lock, and yeah. **1/4 Sting and Angle argue over who is champion to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 06:56 PM Post #25 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 17th, 2007 Orlando, FL Kurt Angle comes out with the belt and Tenay says he was the one who officials let leave with the belt, so apparently he's the new champion. Sting comes out and says he pinned Christian before he tapped out, and Christian comes out to say that the pin and the tap out should cancel each other out, and thus he is still officially undefeated and remains the champion. Cornette comes out and predictably vacates the belt and puts it on the line in KOTM at Slammiversary. In the back, JB is with Daniels, and he says he has an open invitational First Blood match tonight. But he has a fresh cut, that's retarded. Match #1: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Tiger Mask IV Ugh, fuck you Tiger Mask. At least MCMG has formed now. Don West says MCMG have stolen Bob Backlund's book of insane ideas and pro wrestling rules, and Bob is very upset. Anyways, Shelley pins Tiger Mask after the AS/CS Rush. ** They beat on Lynn again before Bob Backlund runs out to save. They beat on him, and a now inexplicably reunited Dutt and Lethal run out to save. In a pretape, James Mitchell says his new project is coming to TNA. In the back, JB is with Nash. Dutt comes in and he apologizes and says his emotions got the best of him. He thanks him for all he's done. They shake hands and Nash says if there's a next time, he'll bury him six feet under. Match #2: Christopher Daniels vs. Raven w/ Serotonin [First Blood Match] Decent 2 minutes. They have good work with jagged edges of a kendo stick, and he cuts open Raven with it. *1/2 Kaz comes in and now wants to punish Raven to losing, but the others don't let him. In the back, JB is with Sting. JB says he'll have to qualify. Daniels comes over and thanks Sting for showing him the way. Sting says he can't help him, and Daniels says maybe Sting is the one that's lost right now. I like the idea behind this. I do. But you have to show the initial act of Sting talking to Daniels a few months back, otherwise nobody knows what you're talking about. Eric Young comes out through the crowd in his DON'T FIRE ERIC shirt. He thanks his friend Jeff Jarrett for showing him the way and thanks his fans. Robert Roode and Ms. Brooks come out and Roode threatens to fire him again. Roode says he's still under contract with Robert Roode Inc.. He says he won't fire him, but he should get a good lawyer, because he is going to sue him, and serves him a piece of paper. Eric wipes it on his butt and throws it back at him, so Roode hits him. Eric fights him off, and Roode bails. This feud had been good over the last month, so it makes sense that it would now get awful. Match #3: Kurt Angle vs. Rhino [KOTM Qualifying Match] This happened. Typical super flawed Kurt match, where he has a 5 minute match and Rhino counters the Ankle Lock a lot and kicks out of one Angle Slam. Rhino was good though. Kurt blocks the Gore with a kick and then hits the Angle Slam for the win. Good finishing run, largely due to Rhino. ** In the back, Cornette says the next KOTM Qualifying Match will be next week, and it's Sting vs. Samoa Joe. TNA: WE FUCKING HATE MONEY! The Steiners then storm in, breaking off the door, and demand Team 3D. Cornette says he smells money, AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER SAYING THAT, BOOKS IT NEXT WEEK ON FREE TV, WHERE HE CAN MAKE ABSOLUTELY NO MONEY OFF OF SAID MATCH. JEEEEEEEEESUS CHRIST THIS IS HORRIBLE. Rick then props up the door against Jim's desk and says he's sorry, and they leave. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 08:02 PM Post #26 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 24th, 2007 Orlando, FL TONIGHT: Sting vs. Joe Team 3D is in the ring to open the show and they call out The Steiners. They come out ad Bubba tells the fans to give them a big standing ovation. Scott says he doesn't need anybody to tell them how great they are, and they have a legacy Team 3D will never have. He says Team 3D might have won the WCW Titles, but they were never even on the roster. Scott says they made their name in real arenas and the Tokyo Dome, not a Bingo Hall, and asks who Team 3D has really ever beaten. Team 3D is mad that the Steiners do this after they tried to show respect and they agree to a match at Slammiversary. Match #1: Kip James/Lance Hoyt vs. Basham/The Damaja w/ Christy Hemme This is horrible. Hoyt picks up Christy and carries her to the back, but it allows the Bashams to beat Kip again. 1/3* In the back, Leticia interviews Christian and Tomko. Christian is mad that they have to fight LAX when he needs to get ready for his KOTM Qualifying Match. He asks what Cornette has against them, and Tomko says Cornette likes him, but not Christian. Christian asks if he knows who his opponent is for the Qualifying Match, and Tomko says he might. Christian asks who it is, and Tomko says he should have given him that title match a few months ago, and walks off. In a pretape, Roode says Eric has one week to answer the lawyer's letter, or he'll fire him. They rely on the "you have one week to do ______" thing way too much. Match #2: LAX w/ Konnan vs. Christian Cage/Tomko This works, because the crowd has been cheering LAX for the last five months anyways. Hector Guerrero repeatedly stops Konnan from interfering. These teams work super well with each other. They get 5 minutes too, SO IT SORT OF GETS TIME! Christian takes gigantic bumps. LAX has some great face offense that they haven't broke out yet. Hector distracts Homicide and it lets Hernandez get hit with a Tomko Lariat and then a Frog Splash from Christian for the win. **3/4 LAX goes after Hector, but Chris Harris makes the save. Makes no sense, but the match should be good. In the back, JB interviews Kurt Angle. He says he's already lost all his respect for Sting and Samoa Joe and can beat them both, so it doesn't matter who wins. I guess he's a heel again now? Match #3: Samoa Joe vs. Sting [KOTM Qualifying Match] They get some 5 minutes. They did a lot of feeling out stuff so as to not blow any of their big stuff to save for a bigger match, so that was a smart move. They seem to work well with each other. Daniels comes out and hits Sting with a bat, and Joe then hits the Samoan Drop for the first time to win. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 08:42 PM Post #27 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 31st, 2007 Orlando, FL Jim Cornette comes out and says the Qualifying Match tonight was supposed to be AJ Vs. Jarrett, but Jarrett has left to deal with family issues. The Christian Coalition then comes out and AJ demands to be named the winner. Cornette says he was going to do that, but he's annoying him, so he books Tomko as his opponent tonight! Christian demands to know who his opponent is, but Cornette refuses to tell him. A recap airs of the Daniels/Sting stuff. In the back, Leticia is in Cornette's office and Eric Young comes in and wants help with the whole Robert Roode thing, so Cornette books Roode vs. Young at the PPV for control of Eric's contract. Backlund then comes in again and says he wants a match with Alex Shelley and that he can pass the drug test. Christopher Daniels comes out for his match with Rhino, but Sting attacks him from behind, and they have a mediocre pull apart brawl. Rhino comes out and issues an open challenge and Homicide comes out to accept. Match #1: Rhino vs. Homicide w/ LAX This is good for some 3 minutes. Rhino wins with the Gore. *3/4 LAX beats down Rhino now. Hector Guerrero and Chris Harris both try and save, and are laid out too. In the back, Angle tells Joe that he's gonna break his ankle before KOTM. Match #2: Chris Sabin vs. Kaz I HATE THIS MATCH UP. They do stuff, and Raven and Serotonin cause a distraction so Sabin can win. *1/2 In a pretape, Sonjay Dutt promises the NEW Sonjay Dutt next week. NEXT WEEK: STORM VS. HARRIS IN A KOTM QUALIFYING MATCH FUCK YEAH Match #3: AJ Styles vs. Tomko [KOTM Qualifying Match] This is good stuff. They get 5 minutes, and thus they get to have what amounts to a real match for 2007 TNA. AJ mostly takes a bunch of amazing bumps and stooges around and makes Tomko look awesome. Christian comes out to watch with a chair, and AJ grabs it. Tomko kicks it in his face, but AJ kicks out. Christian tries to grab the chair back, but Tomko tries to take it, and it lets AJ somehow get a roll up for the win. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 23 2012, 09:41 PM Post #28 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 7th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks vs. Jerry Lynn Roode does what he can, but it's only 3 minutes and he has Lynn to deal with. Payoff wins for Roode. *1/2 Roode goes to use a chair, but Eric Young comes out to save. Roode throws Traci at him, and Eric gets the chair. Cornette says there will be no man on woman violence, except in the last six months when they've booked it that way, and he books Traci vs. Gail. A hype video airs for Sting/Daniels at Slammiversary. In a pretape, Dutt debuts his new gimmick of "The Guru", and Lethal and Nash laugh at him. Footage airs of the Slammiversary press conference, where James Storm got into a fight with Frank Wycheck to set up another potentially terrible celebrity match. Match #2: Gail Kim vs. Ms. Brooks Hey, awful. Gail wins. 45/Poop Roode comes out post-match, and he and Traci beat down Gail. In the back, JB is with Tomko as he's looking for Christian, and he is pissed. He finds him hiding in an office and shoves Christian against the wall. He asks why he screwed him last week. Christian says he found Tomko three years ago and took him under his wing, and Tomko is the muscle and he does the thinking. He says he didn't try to screw him last week, and he says Tomko will have his time, but it's not now, and Tomko is placated. Match #3: Chris Harris vs. James Storm [KOTM Qualifying Match] This is fucking wonderful. They get 7 or 8 minutes and have a really violent arena brawl. They repeated some spots from Sacrifice and it wasn't as totally insane and well laid out, but it's still the best Impact match in at least a year. Probably since AMW vs. AJ/Daniels. The ref lets a ton go, and they brawl to the side of the ramp near the stage. STORM HURLS A BEER BOTTLE AT HARRIS, BUT HE BARELY MOVES AND IT BREAKS ON THE WALL HOLY SHIT! He tries another beer bottle shot, but Storm ducks it AND TACKLES HIM THROUGH THE WALL FUCK YEAH! They're both dead, so the ref finally has to call it a no contest. *** After these two matches, TNA's future should clearly be booked around this feud, and they should be protected above all of the other young guys with the exception of Joe and AJ. TNA initially does try that, iirc, as Storm gets a feud with Rhino and gets to look great against one of the top level babyfaces. But Harris is stuck with fucking Black Reignafter a few months and that kills his momentum entirely. But anyways, TNA can't let this make too long of a lasting impression, as immediately, Joe and Angle brawl from the back to the ring and they get pulled apart. In the back, Christian demands that Cornette tell him who his opponent is next week, and Cornette says it's someone who he thinks is beneath him. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 24 2012, 12:09 AM Post #29 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 14th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: The Steiner Brothers/Basham/The Damaja w/ Christy Hemme vs. Team 3D/Voodoo Kin Mafia Nah. In clips from a press conference, Frank Wycheck accepts Storm's challenge for Slammiversary. In the back, Cornette has AJ, Kurt, and Joe assembled. He says they'll fight Sting, Tomko, and Rhino tonight, and if any of them are pinned, they lose their spot to whoever pins them. Before the match, Tomko is found laid out. Match #2: Samoa Joe/AJ Styles/Kurt Angle vs. Sting/Rhino This happens for some 3 minutes. After a few minutes, Christopher Daniels comes out to be the partner. Sting is A FUCKING MORON, and tags in Daniels, who obviously immediately lays him out and leaves. AJ covers to win. *1/2 Christian comes out for his match, and his opponent is the returning Abyss. BOOOOOOOOOO. Match #3: Christian Cage vs. Abyss [KOTM Qualifying Match] Christian bumps for a bit. Tomko, who is now fine I guess, and AJ come out to interfere. Abyss takes a chair from them and thankfully uses it for a DQ. *1/2 Abyss runs them off with a barbed wire bat. Terrible show to follow last week's good one. Typical. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 24 2012, 05:52 PM Post #30 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: ? TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin, Since 1/14/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY ![]() TNA SLAMMIVERSARY 2007 JUNE 17TH, 2007 NASHVILLE, TN An amazing video airs on the last 5 years of TNA. INCLUDING MIDGET BEATING OFF IN TRASH CAN. Match #1: LAX vs. Rhino/Senshi Konnan and Hector Guerrero are both at ringside. They were building to LAX vs. Rhino/Harris, so this is weird. Senshi works super well with Homicide obviously though, so I'm not sure the switch affects the match quality that much. Super hot crowd also helps this out. Ki takes HUUUUUUGE bumps for Hernandez. He's a great face in peril, and then Homicide bumps around real well for Rhino. Ki takes out Hernandez with a sweet dive. Konnan fives Homicide a slapjack, but Hector takes it from him and Homicide turns around into the Gore for the win. *** Tenay and Don say Scott Steiner suffered an injury in Puerto Rico, and the Tag Title match is in jeopardy. They also say Cornette will name a 5th man for KOTM tonight. In the back, Ms. Brooks tries to seduce Eric to make him lose focus on Robert Roode tonight. Gail Kim comes over and stops her and says she'll be there to keep an eye on her. They then weirdly show a hype video for the KOTM match. Match #2: Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jay Lethal [TNA X Division Championship] They deserved more than 9 minutes, but they still had a good match. This match kind of shows the problem with the Black Machismo gimmick, apart from it being less funny each time, and that is that it forces Lethal to change his entire style to stuff he doesn't so as well as the vintage Jay Lethal stuff. But it's got him super over, which he deserves. I am torn. Sabin was good again as a piece of shit and Lethal wins with the Flying Elbow. Just felt sort of held back, I guess. **3/4 A video airs for the celebrity bullshit. Match #3: Frank Wycheck/Jerry Lynn w/ Tennessee Titans vs. James Storm/Ron Killings w/ Jackie Moore Hey, Killings is still here! The heels at least tried. This wasn't much, and Wycheck beats Storm with the Cradle Piledriver that Lynn taught him. ** Hype video for Backlund/Shelley. Match #4: Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley Highly entertaining 4 minutes. Shelley takes a lot of bumps and lets Backlund do his awesome strength spot out of a Short Arm Scissors. Sabin comes out to interfere, but Backlund throws Shelley into him and rolls him up to win. ** Chris Sabin puts Bob in the Crossface Chickenwing, but he gets out. He puts Shelley in it, but Kevin Nash comes out to save, and they beat down Backlund. Jerry Lynn comes out to save, and Nash kicks him in the face. Jay Lethal then runs out to run off the MCMG, and Nash is not pleased. Up in the rafters. Daniels cuts a generic dark promo. Match #5: Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Basham/The Damaja w/ Christy Hemme Totally horrible and worthless, but it was at least only 3 minutes before VKM won. 1/3* Lance Hoyt then comes out and turns on VKM and leaves with Christy. In the back, Rick Steiner talks to Cornette and he says he has a replacement partner. Cornette asks who it is and he whispers in his ear. Cornette likes it and says the match is still on. Meanwhile, LAX is beating the fuck out of Hector Guerrero in the crowd. Match #6: Eric Young vs. Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks [For Eric Young's Contract] Somehow this is the longest match yet. Its not a bad match or anything, they're both perfectly competent wrestlers. It's just kind of a match. They do moves and they look good, but it has no real flair or muster or any other words I can use to convey any sort of excitement. Roode uses a chair to win and he fires Young, but Cornette comes out and restarts the match. Gail finally comes out to get rid of Brooks and it allows Eric to roll up Roode to win his freedom. **1/4 In the back, Team 3D cuts a promo. Bubba says Scott Steiner's throat got hurt because he was talking too much shit and choked on it, and he left his brother to deal with his mess. He says that's a shame for Rick and they hope he got a good partner. Team 3D comes out and hey, Rick's partner is Road Warrior Animal. Match #7: Team 3D [c] vs. Rick Steiner/Road Warrior Animal [TNA World Tag Team Championship] SO HORRIBLE. No pairing in this is any good, but it's only 6 minutes at least. Steiner and Animal are both dreadfully out of shape. Steiner is beat after the 3D. 3/4* Hype video for Sting/Daniels. Match #8: Sting vs. Christopher Daniels Not a bad match or anything, but it's pretty pointless. This is about 6 minutes, and ends with the cleanest of clean wins for Sting after the Scorpion Deathdrop. Ahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha. What a terribly booked feud. **1/4 Hype video for Abyss/Tomko. Match #9: Abyss vs. Tomko [No DQ] Tomko tried his best. But babyface Abyss may be even worse than heel Abyss. You'd think he'd be better since he has to do less offense, but that is ooutdone by Abyss now having to sell and bump more. Abyss is now doing a lame shards of glass spot instead of thumbtacks. Abyss continues to always be the one to eat the sharp stuff he lays out on the mat for most of the match and then hits the Black Hole Slam on the lame glass for the win. *3/4 In the back, Angle and Joe are interviewed by JB and do a horrible kind of "may the best man win" piece, weeks after telling each other that they hate each other and have no respect for each other. TNA resets this rivalry on almost a weekly basis, and it is the worst. A video airs from Jeff Jarrett. He says his wife recently died from cancer, and he doesn't belong in a ring right now. He thanks all the fans and what not. ![]() Before the KOTM match begins, Cornette introduces Chris Harris as the 5th men. Well then why not have him win his qualifying match? Match #10: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Harris [TNA World Heavyweight Championship - King of the Mountain Match] Apart from Angle, this is the best KOTM lineup yet. Still not as great as 2005 though, because at least there, Abyss and Monty were willing to follow the lead of AJ, Waltman, and Raven. Kurt thinks he's the best ever, so nobody's getting to reign him in. I refuse to recap all the pins. The rules are still retarded. This was almost great due to performances by everyone but Kurt, but then he was full of awkward bumps, miscommunication, and tired/contrived spots. Harris Spears Christian off the ladder to win and Kurt hangs the belt to win. **3/4 Angle celebrates with the belt. Joe offers a handshake, but Kurt hits him with the Angle Slam instead. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 24 2012, 06:51 PM Post #31 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 6/17/2007 TNA Impact June 21st, 2007 Orlando, FL In the parking lot, Abyss shows up and Tenay and DW wonder why he's here. He works for a wrestling company that holds 99% of its shows here. Why the fuck else would he be here? Jim Cornette comes out and calls out all the champions. They come out and he says at Victory Road, the TNA and X Champions would fight the Tag Champions, and the usual stip applies, where all titles are on the line. He says they will all defend their belts before then. Kurt then demands fireworks for his celebration and thanks people and says he hates the fans for no real reason. Match #1: James Storm/Robert Roode w/ Cunts vs. Eric Young/Rhino BEER! MONEY! This is decent for 3 minutes. Jackie causes a distraction and Storm beats Rhino with a Superkick. *3/4 Storm pours beer in Rhino's match post-match, and Rhino freaks out. He throws the bottle at Storm on the ramp, and then destroys the announce table. The Jeff Jarrett interview is shown again. Match #2: Chris Harris vs. Raven Raven is in slightly better shape, but still not close to his 2003-5 shape. Havok and Martyr try to help him with inteference, but Kaz comes out to stop them. Harris then wins with the Catatonic. ** Christian shows up on the tron and says Harris cost him the title, but he's not a star until he beats him. Christian then runs away from something off camera. Coming back, Abyss has chased Christian to the ring, but Tomko and AJ run out to save. AJ and Christian bail out, and Abyss hits Tomko with the Black Hole Slam. Match #3: Jay Lethal [c] vs. Chris Sabin vs. Samoa Joe [TNA X Division Championship] Oh wow, I wonder who wins here? It was a good match though. Joe works great with both of these guys, although Joe vs. Classic Lethal is like 10x better than Joe vs. Black Machismo. Joe beats Sabin with the Muscle Buster to win the belt. **1/2 In the back, Cornette books Angle vs. Christian vs. Rhino for the belt next week. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 24 2012, 08:01 PM Post #32 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact June 28th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Christian Cage vs. Rhino [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] TNA decides to answer all criticisms of not enough wrestling on their show by giving this the entire 42 minutes. What the fuck? Total train wreck, as they tried to get all big angles there and essentially booked a regular episode of Impact with the match in the background, as like half of it focused on all the random brawls, so you had Abyss beating up Christian, AJ and Tomko attacking him, Chris Harris going for Christian, and then a big brawl between the Christian Coalition and Sting and Abyss and Harris. Everyone but Angle and Rhino end up brawling away to the back and then you get a long Angle Epic Finishing Run. James Storm comes back out to spit beer in Rhino's eyes and then the 3rd Angle Slam finally ends this. TNA. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 24 2012, 09:39 PM Post #33 |
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Top 25 Matches of the Half-Year: 1. Chris Harris vs. James Storm, Sacrifice (May 13th) 2. Christian Cage [c] vs. Samoa Joe, Destination X (March 11th) 3. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles, Sacrifice (May 13th) 4. Chris Harris vs. James Storm, Impact (June 7th) 5. LAX vs. Team 3D, Against All Odds (February 11th) 6. Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Roode, Sacrifice (May 13th) 7. LAX vs. Rhino/Senshi, Slammiversary (June 17th) 8. AJ Styles vs. Rhino, Final Resolution (January 14th) 9. Alex Shelley vs. Austin Starr, Final Resolution (January 14th) 10. AJ Styles vs. Rhino, Against All Odds (February 11th) 11. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles vs. Chris Harris, Slammiversary (June 17th) 12. Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jerry Lynn, Against All Odds (February 11th) 13. LAX vs. Team 3D, Destination X (March 11th) 14. LAX vs. Christian Cage/Tomko, Impact (May 24th) 15. Chris Sabin [c] vs. Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Shark Boy vs. Sonjay Dutt, Lockdown (April 15th) 16. Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt, Sacrifice (May 13th) 17. Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jay Lethal, Slammiversary (June 17th) 18. Christian Cage [c] vs. Kurt Angle, Against all Odds (February 11th) 19. Austin Starr vs. Senshi, Against All Odds (February 11th) 20. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles, Impact (April 12th) 21. Senshi vs. Austin Starr, Destination X (March 11th) 22. AJ Styles vs. Rhino, Destination X (March 11th) 23. Alex Shelley vs. Senshi vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Tiger Mask IV, Sacrifice (May 13th) 24. Chris Sabin [c] vs. Jerry Lynn, Destination X (March 11th) 25. Chris Sabin/Alex Shelley/Austin Starr vs. Senshi/Jerry Lynn/Jay Lethal, Impact (March 1st) Wrestler of the Half-Year: AJ Styles (36 Points) Tag Team of the Half-Year: LAX (21 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 25 2012, 12:17 PM Post #34 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact July 5th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Team 3D [c] vs. LAX vs. AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels [TNA World Tag Team Championship] FUCK YEAH LAX VS. AJ/DANIELS! IT WAS AWESOME! Team 3D then dragged it down. AJ and Daniels immediately click as a tag team again, and it's almost not even fair to the other two teams to have them have to live up to that. LAX are great and all, but they're not on the level of AJ/Daniels. And then horribly, Homicide is beat with the 3D. Not like they were doing anything better with AJ and Daniels at Victory Road, and them vs. Joe/Angle would be the best possible match. **3/4 In the back, JB talks about how Angle beat Lesnar in Japan last week for the IWGP Title. Well, no. The bullshit fake IWGP Title that isn't even defended, yes. He then finds Hoyt and Christy making out in the back. Christian and Tomko come out, and Christian gets on the mic. He says he put TNA on the map and made guys like Sting and Jeff Jarrett, and he was robbed of the title last week, and he's now going to make Chris Harris a star at Victory Road. Jim Cornette and says he's made the match and Chris Harris will shatter the glass ceiling with Christian's head. Glad to see them finally admit TNA has a glass ceiling too. Abyss' music then plays, and Christian and Tomko run away, but he never comes out. In a pretape with dramatic music, Rhino talks about his past alcoholism, and says Storm opened up a wound when he poured beer on him, and he's going to open a wound on Storm at Victory Road. Match #2: Gail Kim vs. Jackie Moore vs. Ms. Brooks Nah. In the back, Sting is with JB in the basement, marking the first time the Impact Zone was revealed to have a basement. Anyways, he says he and Abyss both hide behind paint and a mask respectively, and says Abyss will say something next week, and Abyss is fucking wearing Sting face paint. I finally get it. Sting has set out to destroy all the mystique of the Abyss character so that he will unquestionably be the top mysterious guy in TNA. Kurt Angle comes out with the TNA Title and the bullshit IGF Title. He says TNA has only improved since he got here and says lots of words. Team 3D comes out and tells Kurt to shut up and they hit him. They put up a table, but Samoa Joe runs out to save his PPV partner. He fights them off, but then Angle puts Joe through the table with the Angle Slam. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 25 2012, 05:20 PM Post #35 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact July 12th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Abyss vs. Lance Hoyt w/ Christy Hemme Squash. 1/2* AJ and Tomko come out to attack Abyss, but Sting runs out to make the save. He then gives Abyss the mic, and Abyss yells CLICK DOOMSDAY, and Don West randomly announces a tag match for Victory Road. Match #2: Kaz vs. Havok vs. Martyr [Ultimate X Qualifying Match] Wait, what? What Ultimate X match? Don West says it will be an Ultimate X Gauntlet match on Victory Road. Given that Cornette is nowhere to be found, I'm assuming Don West is now just announcing matches that seem cool to him. Anyways, this sucks as much ass as you would expect Kazarian vs. Bentley vs. Devine to suck, which is a whole lot of ass. Kazarian wins. 1/2* Raven then comes down and all of Serotonin beats him up. James Mitchell says his new protege is coming. Hey, I don't give a shit. Match #3: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Team 3D vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko/Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks This had too much talent to outright suck, although whenever Joe wasn't in there, it came close. They got time to have a real match, which I'm 75% sure was a good thing. Joe had an awesome hot tag and hit AJ with the Muscle Buster. Angle then tags himself in and steals the pin to win. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 25 2012, 09:06 PM Post #36 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team 3D, Since 4/15/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Victory Road 2007 July 15th, 2007 Orlando, FL Match #1: Ultimate X Gauntlet They're using the Elevation X structure for Ultimate X now, which is a bad idea, as it is less visually impressive, compares to the ropes. This involves Daniels, Jay Lethal, Puma, Homicide, Sonjay Dutt, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Elix Skipper, Kaz and Senshi. It has gauntlet entry rules and then once the final man is in, the winner is the first man to get the X. Puma, Petey, Shark Boy, and Dutt gut eliminated, so you have a good lineup for the UX match. Some cool spots in the UX segment, such as Kazarian catching Daniels hanging upside down with an Ace Crusher out of the air. Tons of credit to Daniels there as that could easily have fucked him up horribly. Camera then catches them blatantly counting to three in position for a Tower of Doom before they did it, so it is evened out. Daniels and Lethal fight up top, BUT SKIPPER PULLS LETHAL DOWN, AND DANIELS GETS THE X! Enough fun spots and a lack of any truly contrived ones means this is solid. **3/4 DANIELS HOLDS UP THE X, AND SENSHI AND SKIPPER POSE WITH HIM! TRIPLE X IS BACK! FUCK YEAH! Since this is the return of Elix after leaving TNA previously, you can argue that the stipulation from the XXX/AMW blowoff is undone, as Elix is under a new contract. I don't know if TNA ever attempted to explain why they were allowed to reunite, but that's a solid reason there. In the back, JB interviews Team 3D. D-Von says he can't wait to win the World Title, and Bubba shrugs and says he thinks he's going to be X Division Champion. Before the completely unwarranted THIRD VKM/Bashams match, VKM introduces someone to counter Christy, and they debut "The Voodoo Queen" Roxxi Laveaux. Match #2: Voodoo Kin Mafia w/ Roxxi Laveaux vs. Basham/The Damaja w/ Christy Hemme & Lance Hoyt Hey, this was still horrible. The Outlaws win. 1/2* In the back, Kurt Angle says he has Joe's back tonight, and he's sorry that Joe is jealous of him, but that's his mom's fault for giving birth to greatness. Hype video for Rhino/Storm. James Storm has amazing pretaped comments during this, saying Rhino can be his new drinking buddy. Match #3: Rhino vs. James Storm Enjoyable match. Don West randomly says Jackie is banned from ringside. I've said lately that I've grown to like Rhino now that he's not involved in main events regularly, as he's a guy who understands he works best with 15 minutes or less and is best in a brawl, so he sticks to what he does well. And Storm is maybe the best brawler in TNA at this point, so it's a lot of fun. Still more of a set up as a first match in a feud than a great match. Storm hits Rhino with a beer bottle to win. **1/2 Jackie comes out now, and they tie up Rhino in the ropes. Storm pours beer on Rhino and in his mouth. He then gets a chair and hits Rhino in the face before they leave. Match #4: Motor City Machine Guns w/ Kevin Nash vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund This was good. Not great, obviously, but good. As enjoyable as MCMG are as a face team, this shows how much potential they had as a heel team. Huge bumping, great stooging, and both men are really just so hateable when they try to be. The matwork with Backlund was also a lot of fun. Nash interferes to get Bob with a Big Boot an then Lynn loses to the AS/CS Rush. **1/2 Hype video for the next match, which is somehow still a feud, despite clearly ending at Slammiversary. Match #5: Eric Young/Gail Kim vs. Robert Roode/Ms. Brooks Brooks is totally useless, so any pairing but Roode vs. Eric is the worst, and that pairing is very played out now. Despite only having a few matches, they've still been doing this feud for the last 8-9 months. Gail beats Ms. Brooks to win. *3/4 Roode then finally fires Ms. Brooks. In the back, JB interviews the Christian Coalition. Angle comes over and asks if he can borrow his guys for tonight, but Christian says they're busy. Sonjay Dutt then comes over and asks for donations for Kenya, so Kurt beats him up. Match #6: Christian Cage vs. Chris Harris This is great. Christian does a great job with getting the best from Harris. He's a guy who I have a little bit of a soft spot for after AMW, but he's not exactly a superworker. He does basic stuff well and has a flair for the dramatic in terms of big brawls and booking. So Christian takes tons of huge bumps and doesn't put him in any position where he won't come off looking out of his league. I think this is roughly at the point where Christian's starting to improve hugely, as he goes toward becoming the legitimate superworker he was upon his WWE return. They have some huge spots, and Harris performs well. However, this is still TNA, and a fat Dustin Rhodes comes out and hits Harris with handcuffs in the back of the head. Christian gets a cradle to win. *** Hype video for CC vs. Sting/Abyss. Match #7: AJ Styles/Tomko vs. Sting/Abyss AJ and Tomko tried. And they have a shocking amount of chemistry together and deserve an actual run as a tag team. But Abyss is THE WORST. Like holy shit, maybe the worst wrestler in the entire world at this point. It's disappointing that this got like 15 minutes. Sting vs. AJ continues to be the one promising big money match that they've protected to this point. AJ and tomko had a good control segment on Sting, but then it fell apart after Abyss' hot tag. He beats Tomko with the Black Hole Slam. **1/4 Father James Mitchell comes out onto the stage and he says the Doomsday clock has been set. Match #8: Kurt Angle [c]/Samoa Joe [c] vs. Team 3D [c] [TNA World Heavyweight Championship OR TNA X-Division Championship vs. TNA World Tag Team Championship] Joe did his best, but this was pretty terrible. Not only because holy shit, it was Team 3D and Kurt Angle for 18 minutes in motherfucking 2007, but because Joe was booked as the weakest guy in the match, and that was beyond infuriating when D-Von can't even throw a punch or anything anymore and Bubba is pretty fucking lazy, and Kurt Angle is a caricature of himself by now. The Steiners came out to interfere, and then Joe and Angle both tried to stop each other from winning. Scott hits Bubba with a pipe and Angle hits the Angle Slam, but Joe tags himself in in revenge for Impact and gets the pin to win. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 25 2012, 11:11 PM Post #37 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe, Since 7/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact July 19th, 2007 Orlando, FL In the back, JB is with Angle, who is trying to tan in a tanning bad. JB says Cornette wants to see him, and Angle refuses and then tells Borash to stop staring at his package. Angle says he's the only star and says how dare he interrupt his training and makes JB leave. Match #1: Triple X vs. Raven/Havok/Martyr FUCK YEAH TRIPLE X. Serotonin is worthless as usual, but Triple X has a ton of awesome stuff, as you would expect. They hit a Flying Legdrop, BME, and the Warrior's Way in succession. *1/2 Kaz comes out and runs off Serotonin with a kendo stick. In the back, JB tries to get Kurt out of the tanning bed, and says Cornette will fine him $10,000. Angle gets up, but can't find his suit or any of his clothes. He asks if JB stole his underwear and JB says he doesn't ever wear underwear. Kurt gets a knowing smile, which is weird since he repeatedly accused JB of checking out his package in the last segment. Angle then says he'll find out what Cornette wants, and who took his clothes. In the back, Leticia is with the Christian Coalition and James Storm before their tag match. James Storm cuts a promo in Boomhauer, and AJ laughs and high fives him. Christian asks for a translation, and AJ says he said after they win tonight, they'll go out drinking, and Christian then high fives Storm, and they all leave. At ringside, Team 3D storms out and calls out the Steiners next week. Tenay randomly gets up in their shit, so I guess they're turning heel. In the back, Kurt Angle is on top of a bench in the locker room in his speedo and tanning goggles and demands to know who stole his clothes. At some point in the last five minutes, he has also acquired sandles. He yells at Shark Boy for smiling, and then throws him into the wall and beats him up. He starts yelling "STOP SMILING, THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" AMAZING. Match #2: Kip James w/ Roxxi vs. Lance Hoyt w/ Christy Hemme This happens. It's the worst and Kip wins. 1/9* Roxxi then gets rid of Christy. In the back, Kurt is now in the conference room on top of a table with the crew. He says he will beat them all up and yells at someone for looking at his ass. He says he knows they can sell his titles and suit for a lot of money. A glance down reveals that he has lost the sandles he gained in the last segment. One of them tries to leave because this is insane, so Angle beats him up Match #3: Chris Harris/Rhino vs. Christian Cage/James Storm w/ Tomko & Jackie Moore This is great for the 5 or so minutes it gets. Storm vs. Harris is still amazing. Dustin comes out again and hits Harris with a chair to the back, so Christian covers for the win. **1/4 They beat up Rhino again, but Abyss runs out to save now. AJ and Christian bail out through the crowd. In the back, Cornette won't let Angle go out to the ring in a speedo that has now essentially become a thong. THE SANDLES ARE BACK WHAT THE FUCK!? Anyways, Cornette gives Kurt a robe to go to the arena in and says he wants that $10,000 on his office by Monday. In the parking lot, AJ and Christian try to run away and they get to AJ's truck. AJ starts the car, but Abyss pop up in the back seat, and does his fucking pose for like 15 seconds to allow them to get out and run away before he gets out and starts chasing them, Kurt Angle comes out to the ring in his robe AND WHAT THE FUCK, HIS SANDLES ARE MISSING AGAIN. He accuses fans of stealing his underwear, and says this isn't funny. Samoa Joe comes out with all the belts and Kurt's clothes. He lays them all out in the ring and challenges Kurt to a Winner Take All challenge for Hard Justice. Angle agrees and offers a handshake, and Joe does it, but he headbutts him. He sets up a table, but then Kurt easily comes back and hits the Angle Slam through the table to end the show. Until the end of the show, which shat on a perfectly fine angle of a guy being embarrassed to further tear down Samoa Joe as any kind of top guy, this was a great show due to the fact that it embraced being like 90% comedy. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 25 2012, 11:54 PM Post #38 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe, Since 7/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact July 26th, 2007 Orlando, FL In the back, Christian arrives with like 20 guards with jackets saying "CAGE SECURITY". Match #1: Sting vs. Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks I guess he rehired her? No idea why. This is four minutes of nothing. Eric Young comes out in Sting paint to stop Brooks from interfering, and Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathdrop. *1/2 A pretape airs with Tenay and Dustin, with Dustin losing his mind and he says there's another side to him and is a terrible crazy person. In a pretape, Kurt Angle is in therapy. He says he loved to beat up six year olds when he was six, and says he was always the best child that his parents had. He says he was the captain of every team in high school and had sex with every girl. He says even his wife knows its an honor and privilege to be his wife, as do his children, and says if they don't do well, he'll kick them out the door. Match #2: LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns Yeah, awesome spotfest. Only got 3 minutes, but they did a ton of awesome stuff inside of a basic tag formula. LAX beats Shelley with the Doomsday Ace Crusher. **1/4 Team 3D comes out after LAX leaves, and Bubba tells them to beat it, and this doesn't involve them. They call out The Steiners, and they also come out. Steiner talks about his life-threatening throat injury in Puerto Rico, and he says Puerto Ricans saved his life, and he respects Puerto Ricans now, but he doesn't respect D-Von and his FAT ASS BROTHER. Steiner thanks the doctors and the fans who helped him to get back here. Bubba says he's faking it and he faked it to escape their match. VKM comes out to say they're the real best tag team and they attack The Steiners. LAX THEN COMES OUT TO SAVE! FUCK YEAH! Match #3: AJ Styles vs. Abyss [No DQ] AJ carries Abyss for a little bit in his usual manner of taking completely insane bumps for him. They fight on the floor, and Abyss is dragged under the ring by a mystery man. Christian, Tomko, and Roode then drag out Sting as they beat on him, and Abyss is rolled out of the ring, bloody. They lay out thumb tacks and "shard of glass" and Tomko hits a Baldo Bomb onto it to Abyss and AJ covers to win. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 26 2012, 12:11 PM Post #39 |
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe, Since 7/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact August 2nd, 2007 Orlando, FL In the back, Cornette confronts the Christian Coalition about Abyss being pulled under the ring. Christian says it wasn't them, and Cornette books he and AJ vs. Sting and Abyss in a Ladder Match tonight, if if they win, they never fight Abyss again, but if they lose, Abyss can pick a match and stipulation for Hard Justice. Cornette is the worst. They leave his office and Kurt walks by with his wife and daughter, yelling at his daughter to walk faster. Match #1: Team 3D vs. Chris Harris/Eric Young This happened. Within a minute, Dustin shows up to brawl with Harris, so Eric is alone and loses to the 3D. 3/4* Roode then comes out and tars and feathers Eric Young. In the back, Kurt's daughter wants a candy bar and Kurt says if she keeps eating candy, she'll wind up like her mom and have thunder thighs. Karen is upset and Kurt says she has to be perfect to be Mrs. Kurt Angle, and there's millions of other women that could take her spot. Match #2: Christopher Daniels/Senshi w/ Elix Skipper vs. Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt Good spotfest for 3 minutes. MCMG come out to film the match. Dutt looks the best he has since 2005 or so. Elix pushes Lethal off the top, and then Dutt is beat with the Warrior's Way and the BME. ** In the back, Angle introduces Karen to Dr. Kevin Nash, who he says he was talking to last week. He makes her go to an appointment with him on Monday and says the liposuction can wait. Kurt accuses her of checking out Nash's package and calls her a fat slut and leaves. Nash tries to hit on her, and she leaves and says wrestlers are all the same. Match #3: Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles [Ladder Match] This was like 5 minutes, so why even bother? Tomko comes out to interfere, but then *3/4 In the back, JB interviews them and Test says he is THE PUNISHER ANDREW MARTIN. Kurt Angle comes out with his wife, and he demands that she tells everyone that he is a caring and loving husband and father. She says she's sick of his ego, his arrogance, his titles, and his stupid gold medals, and says their marriage is over, and she leaves. Samoa Joe then comes out and says after Hard Justice, all he'll have is the clothes on his back, and then Joe says he should take that too, and he strips off Angle's suit. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 26 2012, 12:53 PM Post #40 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe, Since 7/15/2007 TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007 TNA Impact August 9th, 2007 Orlando, FL Jim Cornette is in the ring to open the show, and the Christian Coalition comes out. Christian says there's a lot of unfair things happening the summer to the true World Champion, and that's him. First, his title is stolen from him despite never officially losing to anyone, and then Abyss won't leave him alone, and now this. Cornette says Abyss told him his stipulation, and it's Abyss/Sting/Test vs. The Christian Coalition in the DOOMSDAY CHAMBER OF BLOOD MATCH. It's the normal shitty cage with barbed wire, and then once you make someone bleed, they can be pinned, and the winner gets a title shot. Abyss, Sting, and THE PUNISHER ANDREW MARTIN then run out and clear the ring. In the back, Kurt Angle is sad about losing his wife and kids, and he hugs Borash. PAC. MAN. JONES. Match #1: Raven/James Storm/Robert Roode vs. Kaz/Rhino/Chris Harris [House of Fun Match] They didn't bother with any of the actual set up, so the Clockwork Orange part isn't there, and it's just kind of a generic No DQ match though. But AMW, Roode, and Rhino are pretty good in this. Rhino ends up chasing Storm to the back. Roode hits Kazarian with a fucking mallet to the dick and then the Payoff to win. **1/4 In the back, Angle cries to Dr. Nash, and Nash yells at him and asks what the hell is wrong with him. Match #2: Homicide/Rick Steiner vs. Brother Devon/Kip James w/ Roxxi Well...Homicide tried. But this was an ass bag full of fuck. The other members of each team get involved for a Double DQ. 1/2* Samoa Joe comes out and he introduces his guest for tonight, and Karen Angle comes out! He says he invited her to sit ringside this Sunday to watch him beat Kurt Angle. Kurt comes out and tries to apologize to Karen and says he'll melt down his gold medals to make a bracelet for her to prove his commitment and says to reunite for the kids. Karen says she is doing it for the kids and says it's over. Team 3D demands that they hand back the Tag Titles, since one man can't hold them. Joe attacks them, but then Kurt hits him and they beat up Joe. They beat him up with chairs for a while, and then the Steiners run off Team 3D. Horrible. |
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7:02 PM Jul 10