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Simon Watches TNA - 2007; I WILL BECOME IMMORTAL
Topic Started: Jul 17 2012, 10:55 PM (5,293 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe, Since 7/15/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 6/21/2007


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TNA Hard Justice 2007
August 12th, 2007
Orlando, FL


Back after it aired originally, Maxwell reviewed this and it was one of the more hilarious reviews I remember seeing. But it's gone forever, so thanks Phen!

The big hype video for the show focuses on Pac Man's debut tonight. Fuck.

Match #1: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt vs. Christopher Daniels/Senshi w/ Elix Skipper
I like the Ki/Daniels team and all, but Daniels/Skipper is the true Triple X. This was really disappointing, since they should be capable of this awesome spotfest, but they tried to this normal tag team match, and it didn't work. Felt like they were clearly holding back. Picked up in the last third when they did dives and double teams and spots. Then in that bullshit I hate, after a ton of spots, Lethal gets a roll up on Daniels to win.
**3/4

In the front row, Karen Angle is here with a new boyfriend.

Match #2: Kaz vs. Raven w/ Serotonin
This is useless. At least it's only 5 minutes, I guess. Kaz wins with a shitty Bicycle Kick.
*1/2

Hype video for Rhino/Storm.

Match #3: James Storm vs. Rhino [Bar Room Brawl]
I am torn. On one hand, this is a good brawl. They convey a sense of hate well and have some really good spots. The idea of Rhino falling off the wagon due to this feud? Not something I love necessarily, but I can see the upsides to it. But then it gets totally insane, as recovering alcoholic Rhino gets drunk off of drinking one beer. Rhino then fucks up because he's now magically drunk, and Storm hits him with the beer bottle again to win.
**1/2

In the back, JB talks about Pac Man. Truth shows up again randomly and says this publicity stunt can go to hell.

Match #4: LAX vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia w/ Roxxi
LAX tries, but you know, it's 2007. LAX now has lame babyface music. :( yeah, this happens for some 4 minutes. Roxxi throws powder at Hernandez, and is then schoolboyed. And then for no reason, since he's supposed to hate LAX after the attack, Hector Guerrero informs the ref about it and Homicide rolls up Kip to win.
*1/2

Hype video for Roode/Eric Young.

Match #5: Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks vs. Eric Young [Loser Is Tarred & Feathered]
This happens. They do stuff. For guys who have been wrestling for the last 4 months and in a feud for the last 10, they really should have more than one match that they can do against each other. Roode wins with brass knuckles.
**

They go for the tar and feathering, but Gail comes out to save. Roode bails when Eric fights back, and the mannish whore is tarred and feathered.

Match #6: Chris Harris vs. Black Reign
This happens. Dustin jumps Harris as he comes out and busts him open, so it's 4 minutes of horrible and slow Black Reign stomps and punches before he is DQ'd for hitting the ref.
2/8*

He handcuffs Harris in the corner and hits him with a pickax.

Hype video for the tag match.

Match #7: Team 3D vs. The Steiner Brothers
This wasn't much, but it sucked less than the last few matches, which may have been planned. This generally happened for a while, and D-Von got beat with the Doomsday Bulldog.
*3/4

In the back, Angle complains to Dr. Nash about his marriage falling apart, so Nash slaps him and yells at him to snap out of it, and starts yelling EYE OF THE TIGER as Kurt groans into a pillow.

Mike Tenay is in the ring and brings out Pac Man Jones. They stupidly reveal that Jones has in his contract that he can't fight or be hit, which uh...what the fuck? Are you trying to kill any possible interest here? You can argue that these details got let out in the news, but it's pro fucking wrestling, you can make anything up. WHAT'S UP?! WHAT'S UP?! Ron Killings comes out and yells about spotlight being taken by celebrities and says everyone in the back wants to beat Pac Man's ass, including him. Pac Man challenges him to fight, but security comes in to break it up.

Hype video for the DCOB.

In the back, Pac Man has been laid out.

Match #8: Sting/Abyss/Andrew Martin vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko [DOOMSDAY CHAMBER OF BLOOD]
Test looks AWFUL. HGH Gut, low mobility, can barely run at all, etc. AJ and Christian tried, Sting and tomko were fine, but this was mostly a shitty Abyss brawl. He wins with the Black Hole Slam on AJ Styles into the bullshit shards of glass after Christian bailed out and ran away to the back.
*3/4

Hype video for the main event.

Match #9: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Samoa Joe [c] [FOR ALL THE FUCKING TITLES]
This is a match. They've done all the stuff they can possibly do against each other after a 30 minute iron man match and then two other matches. Kurt is not even known for leaving new stuff to do against a guy after ONE match let alone three. Joe looks great individually, but his mistake is letting Kurt Angle have a Kurt Angle Match. Ref bumps. Angle gets a chair, but Karen Angle hops the railing and stops him. She then low blows Joe and Kurt hits Joe with the chair to win all the belts. R.I.P. Samoa Joe.
**

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007

TNA Impact
August 16th, 2007
Orlando, FL


In the back, there is a red carpet and Kurt Angle shows up with Karen and all his belts in a tuxedo. Angle leaves and Eric Young comes by and says he's going to get Pac Man's autograph.

Tenay brings out Pac Man Jones to open the show and asks what happened backstage. He says he thinks it's the Truth, and Ron Killings comes out. He says he doesn't do sneak attacks, and he only eats his beef. He says he did his own research and they both came up from nothing, and they agree to suddenly form an alliance. Eric Young comes out for an autograph, and Killings lays him out. So Pac Man no longer cares about who attacked him?

In the back, Cornette books Daniels/Lethal and Abyss/Christian tonight with both #1 Contenderships on the line. Matt Morgan is also there, and considering he's Cornette's boy, that's another strike against Cornette being anything but a lunatic with horrible taste in talent. I mean, if you put together a Team Cornette, it would be like, Davey Richards, Matt Morgan, Mike Mondo, Eddie Edwards, and one of the Bashams. Loves his bland dudes.

In the back, Karen Angle arrives and says she's proud of how she sucked everyone in over the last three weeks, and says she's just that good, and it's hard to be Karen Angle.

Coming back, Don West randomly says Abyss/Christian is also a First Blood match.

Match #1: Christopher Daniels vs. Jay Lethal [X Division Title #1 Contender's Match]
This was decent. Mostly a series of spots for 5 minutes. Triple X comes out to interfere, but then Dutt comes out to take them out with a dive. Lethal wins with the Lethal Combination, which is a pretty shitty finisher compared to the elbow or especially the Dragon Suplex.
**

In the back, Kevin Nash arrives. He says he's honored to get an award, and JB asks if he's really a doctor. He says he's taking classes at University of Phoenix, and he's 4 months away from his OB-GYN.

It is time for the Kurt Angle awards, and Dr. Nash, Karen Angle, and Trademarc, who played Karen's new man and raps over Kurt's new theme, all get one. Jim Cornette comes out to stop this and says to get to the point and asks which two titles he's going to give up. Kurt refuses and says he won them all, so Cornette says he'll defend them all then. He books him to defend the World Title vs. Abyss or Cage, the X Title vs. Jay Lethal, and the Tag Titles vs. Killings/Pac Man, all at No Surrender.

Match #2: Abyss vs. Christian Cage [#1 Contender's First Blood Match]
This happened and sucked. Too much Abyss doing stuff. AJ comes out to interfere, and then Samoa Joe randomly comes out to stop him. So Joe will not be seeking ANY revenge on the Angles? What a fucking bitch. God damnit, TNA. Anyways, he hits Christian with a chair for no reason, and Abyss then hits Christian again with a chair and he bleeds.
*1/2

Kurt Angle cheap shots Abyss and beats him up with a chair. Cornette comes on from his office and books Kurt vs. both Steiners next week, and says if he loses, they get 5 minutes alone with Karen Angle.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007


TNA Impact
August 23rd, 2007
Orlando, FL

Match #1: Robert Roode/Ms. Brooks vs. Kaz/Gail Kim

This isn't much, obviously. Too much of the women, and Gail rolls up Brooks to win.
3/4*

Roode yells at Ms. Brooks for being the worst, so Kazarian runs him off and shares a glance with Brooks.

In a pretape, James Storm is looking for Rhino in bars, since he turned him back to drinking.

In the back, the Angles yell at Cornette about the match made. Cornette says they'll have a lottery next week to choose Angle's partner for No Surrender.

Horrible Black Reign video.

Match #2: Eric Young vs. Ron Killings w/ Pac Man Jones
And Truth has a match on Impact for the first time in probably a year. Truth wins.
*1/2

In the back, AJ and Tomko attack Samoa Joe. He fights them, and it's pretty great. They brawl to the ring and Joe has it well in hand, but Christian then runs out and hits Joe with a chair. They beat on him, and Christian hits Joe with the one man Conchairto.

A pretape from James Mitchell airs. He asks if Abyss liked his surprise under the ring and says Judas Mesias is about to be unleashed on the world.

Match #3: The Steiner Brothers vs. Kurt Angle w/ Karen Angle [If The Steiners Win, They Get 5 Minutes With Karen Angle]
This wasn't good, but then there's no reason it ever would be. Team 3D comes out to hit Rick with the 3D and Angle covers to win.
*1/2

Team 3D then puts them both through the table with the Superbomb.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007


TNA Impact
August 30th, 2007
Orlando, FL


TONIGHT: Joe vs. AJ vs. Christian vs. Sting to determine who is Angle's partner

Match #1: Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner
This isn't much. Mostly a Team 3D squash, as Tenay yells that Rick Steiner was injured last week. The 3D is hit, and it stops being a match. They bring in chairs, and D-Von holds one up against Scott's throat and Bubba hits it with the second chair to drive it into his throat.
Fart

Steiner is stretchered out and Bubba yells BACK TO THE HOSPITAL, PUSSY.

Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia w/ Roxxi
MCMG are now working face, which was weird. Even weirder is that Kip has debuted his Torrie Wilson ring gear. Lots of awesome double teams from MCMG for a minute, and then Kip hits Sabin with the One and Only to win in about 75 seconds. Very upsetting.
*

LAX then comes out, as does Triple X, and randomly, Shark Boy and Eric Young. A tag brawl breaks out.

BOUND FOR GLORY: OCTOBER 14TH

In the back, Karen Angle talks to the Christian Coalition. Christian says the strip club is down the street, but AJ is taken with her. She says if either of them win tonight, then they could help Kurt retain the tag titles and Kurt would give them a World Title shot at BFG. Christian says she's a good liar, but he's the best liar, and he sees right through it. Christian and Tomko leave, and AJ says if that goes for him too, and she says yes. She kisses him on the cheek and leaves, so AJ tells JB that she wants him and not to tell Kurt. I doubt TNA intended it, but this laid some seeds for storylines over the next six months very well.

In another pretape, James Storm is still looking for Rhino in bars. He says his mistake was not checking nasty dive bars for Rhino, but he cannot find him.

Match #3: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles vs. Sting [Winner is Kurt's Partner]
I have no idea why any of these men would want to be Kurt's partner. This got like 10+ minutes, so it was the best Impact match of the year. They got really good stuff going during the second half, and since it's TNA 2007, you kind of just give them points for even trying to have a good match on TV. Joe and Christian brawl to the back, and Sting vs. AJ gets a few good minutes. Sting wins with the Scorpion Deathlock.
***

Angle gives Sting his tag title belt, and they celebrate, and Sting is wary of the Angles.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Sting, Since 8/12/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007

TNA Impact
September 6th, 2007
Orlando, FL


Meh.

Tomko vs. Kaz - *1/2

Samoa Joe vs. Raven - **

Sting/Kurt Angle vs. Abyss/Jay Lethal - **
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Kurt Angle/Sting, Since 8/12/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 8/12/2007


TNA No Surrender
September 9th, 2007
Orlando, FL


In no way did I intend to X out of Firefox, but typically, I can restore the session. For whatever reason, that was not given to me.

Kurt Angle/Sting [c] vs. Team Pac Man - *1/2

-Team Pac Man wins when Angle Angle Slams Sting after Karen fakes Sting hitting her

James Storm vs. Rhino - **3/4

Robert Roode vs. Kaz - **

Kurt Angle [c] vs. Jay Lethal - **3/4

Chris Harris vs. Black Reign - *1/2

Match #6: Tag Team Gauntlet For The Gold
I had this done up in bullet points when the review shat itself. Oh well. AJ and Daniels had endurance runs, and carried it. Hernandez had an awesome run when he got in, as did Tomko. Tomko vs. Hernandez was pretty awesome, and it got down to AJ and Tomko vs. MCMG in the final, which was fantastic. Lots of awesome MCMG double teams, and Shelley takes out Tomko with a dive. AJ rolls up Sabin with the tights for the win.
**3/4

Hype for Joe/Christian.

Match #7: Samoa Joe vs. Christian
This is awesome once again. Christian attacked one of Joe's dancers on Impact, so Joe is very very mad. He beats the fuck out of Christian for like 5 minutes, until Christian kicks the middle rope up into his dick. Decent control seg, and then Joe makes an awesome comeback. Great finishing run, and they do completely different stuff than in their first match, which is great. Joe refuses to let go of the Choke, so the ref calls for a DQ.
***

Other referees come out to pull him off, and Joe loses his shit. The X Division tries to calm him down, and he kills them all. Matt Morgan and security then come out, and they calm his shit.

BOUND FOR GLORY: OCTOBER 14TH!

Impact goes to 2 hours starting in October. This is horrible news for the productivity of this review, as one hour shows are easy to breeze through, as seen by the super quick review output in TNA 2005-6 and WWF 1993-6. Even in 2007, despite shitty quality, I can review a month per day, and with 2 hours, that will probably decrease due to how terrible it is.

Match #9: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Abyss [TNA World Heavyweight Championship]
This obviously sucked. It's the two worst top level guys TNA has, so of course it was going to be awful. Really shitty looking offense by both guys, hilarious Kurt Angle being Kurt Angle beyond the point of parody type stuff at the end. He worked the knee, and Abyss' selling was atrocious. Abyss ends up tapping out to the Ankle Lock.
*3/4

Kurt leaves, and James Mitchell's voice is heard. He says he told Abyss he would take him to hell, and his chariot has arrived! Then a knife cuts through the ring and smoke comes out as a hand drags Abyss down under the ring to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007

TNA Impact
September 13th, 2007
Orlando, FL


TONIGHT: Angle vs. Abyss inside the cage for the belt in a submission match and if Abyss taps out, he will leave TNA! RUSSO! RUSSO! RUSSO!

Karen Angle is in the ring and she introduces Kurt, but Sting comes out to the ramp instead. He says he doesn't blame Kurt for what he did, because if he thought someone hit his wife, he would have done worse. He tells Karen to admit that she set him up. Karen said she can't remember anything after he hit her, so Kurt Angle runs out and attacks Sting from behind. He beats Sting to the ring and hits him with a chair. He handcuffs Sting and keeps beating on him. He puts him against the ropes and says he was going to embarrass Sting at Bound for Glory. Sting spits at him, so Kurt keeps beating on him.

Match #1: Black Reign vs. Shark Boy
This was the worst.
1/100*

Dustin pulls off the mask, but Eric Young comes out to pull Shark Boy out and cover his face.

In the back, Crystal interviews Team Pac Man and Truth says they have Tomko and AJ at BFG, and says this is their backyard. Pac Man shouts out to the Titans when he returns to the NFL. He says they is like hand in glove.

Match #2: Jay Lethal vs. Christopher Daniels w/ Triple X
They again have a decent match. Some quality exchanges, and Daniels blocks the Lethal Combination by grabbing the ropes. Daniels then hits Lethal with the Last Rites to win.
**

In the back, JB is with Cornette. He horribly announces the return of the Reverse Battle Royal at BFG, then LAX vs. XXX in Ultimate X, and a 10 Knockout battle royal. Cornette is THE WORST. I've always been interested in how authority figures come off in maycabe, like how Stephanie McMahon as SD's first GM looked like the most competent authority figure ever, signing all the best guys and getting the WWE Title exclusively and what not, or how Tiffany on ECW did the same thing. Here, Jim Cornette looks like the stupidest fucking guy ever, as he's signing all the worst matches in TNA history, hiring truly horrible talent, and generally being the guy in charge during a massive decline of the promotion. So in maycabe, even though chronologically it is the first, this is the SECOND awesome promotion he'll totally fucking ruin.

The Christian Coalition comes out, and Christian calls out Matt Morgan for being unable to keep order at No Surrender. Matt Morgan comes out and they all attack him, but Samoa Joe runs out to save. They get pulled apart, and Cornette comes out. He books Joe vs. Christian with Morgan as the special referee. He then books Christian vs. another Samoan next week, and brings out Junior Fatu! OH MY GOD, FUCK YOU, CORNETTE.

Match #3: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Abyss [TNA World Heavyweight Championship - Submission Match - If Abyss Taps, He Will Quit]
First time I've rooted for Kurt Angle since 2001! No, this is pretty terrible. Abyss eventually puts on the worst Ankle Lock of all time, topping those of Davey Richards, Edge, and Shawn Michaels. As this happens, Judas Mesias cuts through the ring and climbs up. He chokes Abyss with barbed wire, and then blood spills out of Judas' mouth. He then stabs him with that bullshit shard of broken glass, and that is how the show ends.
*
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007

TNA Impact
September 20th, 2007
Orlando, FL


In the back, Dr. Nash talks to Kurt and he warns him that good things don't happen to people who beat down Sting or call him out like this, and he knows from experience. Kurt blows him off and says he'll be fine, because he's Kurt Angle. Nash says when he was in the NWO, they did stuff to Sting and he disappeared for a while. Then he came back and he was a lot darker and more dangerous, but now, he can tap into that side of himself much easier. Kurt nods and tells Karen to apologize tonight.

Don West officially announces Angle/Sting for BFG.

Match #1: Judas Mesias w/ Father James Mitchell vs. Eric Young
Horrible squash.
3/4*

Shark Boy comes out to save, but also is destroyed. Rhino comes out with a chair, but Mesias is already leaving by then.

A video airs on the Team 3D/Steiners feud.

Match #2: AJ Styles vs. Ron Killings
Both tag partners are there, and this is pretty good for a 3 minute Impact match. Pac Man uses spray paint in AJ's eyes, and Truth rolls him up to win. This is a very confusing feud theoretically, since they're all heels, but at least for this month, TNA is embracing that nobody wants to boo AJ.
*3/4

Karen Angle comes out to the ring, and apologizes for her actions towards Sting. She says that being married to an 11 time World Champion, she gets caught up in the moment sometimes, and she got caught up in that moment last week. She says she wants Sting to forget what happened and have a good pure wrestling match at Bound for Glory. Sting comes out, and says he hasn't forgotten, but she doesn't need to be afraid, because he's filed a restraining order, and she can't be within 50 feet of him from now until BFG. Police then take her away, and Kurt is mad.

Match #3: Christian Cage vs. Junior Fatu
Fatu is hardly at his peak, but Christian gets as good a match as anyone is going to get out of him. He does this by taking tons and tons and tons of huge bumps. It falls apart when Rikishi has to bump and tumble, and it looks horrible. AJ Styles comes out to pull Christian out of the Rikishi Driver, and Christian gets a really terrible looking schoolboy to win, due to Rikishi sort of calmly sitting down and then rolling on his back.
**

Rikishi attacks them both, but Tomko comes to save. It is a 3 on 1, until Samoa Joe runs out to save.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007


TNA Impact
September 27th, 2007
Orlando, FL


Apparently, in the back last week, Mesias choked out Sting with a noose.

In the back, JB interviews Mitchell and Mesias, and Mitchell says if Sting wants them, they'll be waiting.

Match #1: Team 3D vs. Sonjay Dutt/Shark Boy
Short and mediocre Team 3D showcase. 3D ends it.
3/4*

In the back, VKM turns heel by randomly talking about how they hate the fans now.

Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jimmy Rave/Lance Hoyt w/ Christy Hemme
THE EMBASSY EXPLODES! This is good as long as Rave is in, since he's not a gigantic pile of shit like Hoyt. They get some 5 minutes and actually get to have a decent tag match. Hoyt is beat with the AS/CS Rush.
**

Team 3D comes out to attack them, and they hit a Superbomb through the table. Bubba gets on the mic and says they'll destroy every team until they get a title shot

Match #3: Gail Kim vs. Jackie Moore vs. Ms. Brooks vs. Christy Hemme vs. Roxxi Laveaux
This is a preview of the Gauntlet, and Tenay now says the first KO Champion will be crowned at BFG in the women's gauntlet. Gail vs. Jackie is the only good pairing. Kip James comes out to distract Christy so Roxxi can get a roll up to win.
1/2*

In the parking lot, Sting attacks Judas. They fight into the building and then into the ring. Sting puts on the Scorpion Deathlock, pretty much destroying the new top monster before he really even got underway. I mean, I'm not mad, because fuck Judas Mesias. But it's still horrible booking. Kurt Angle comes out to fight Sting, and Mesias rolls out. Abyss comes out with his arms all bandaged up, and does his stupid pose on the stage to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007


TNA Impact
October 4th, 2007
Orlando, FL


TONIGHT: TEAM PAC MAN VS. TEAM 3D! GAIL VS. JACKIE! TRIPLE X/AJ/CHRISTIAN VS. LAX/JOE/FATU!

Match #1: Rhino vs. Black Reign
This was really really horrible. Rhino tends to work to the level of his opponents. Has good matches with Storm, AJ, Jarrett, Joe, etc. Has really truly godawful matches with the scum of TNA like this. Raven comes out to interfere against Rhino, as they have now clearly decided to shove all the hardcore guys into a Monster's Ball Match. And I guess the Black Reign/Harris feud is over? So they jobbed one of their next huge stars (at least, at this point) to a fat out of shape Dustin Rhodes with the worst gimmick in TNA? Jesus Christ. Anyways, Rhino wins with a schoolboy.
1/100*

Abyss now inexplicably comes to Rhino's aid and runs off Raven and Reign, since he has to be in Monster's Ball. Mitchell comes out for a distraction and Raven and Reign attack, but Sting then comes out to save. They clear the ring, and then on the video wall, Kurt Angle is where Sting lives in California. Kurt asks if Sting is ready for some football, and Sting says "oh shit". Kurt says he's at Sting's sons football practice, and he's going to watch. Sting says if he touches his son, he'll kill him.

In the back, Team 3D attacks Lethal and Dutt. They beat them to the ring, and make them look like total jobbers. In fact, fucking Shark Boy has to make the save for the X Division Champion. They beat him down too and Bubba demands that their match tonight be for the Tag Titles.

In California, Kurt says he's not going to touch Sting's family, and he just wants the old fired up Sting back. Didn't they spend last week implying that he was already back?

In the back, JB interviews Roode and Ms. Brooks. Roode says Robert Roode Inc. is a brand of the highest prestige and tells Tracy that if she doesn't want to be here, she can quit. She says she needs the job for her sick mom, and Roode tells her that she better win the Knockouts Title at BFG then. He's being far too nice to her.

Match #2: Gail Kim vs. Jackie Moore
This is decent enough. Gail wins with a roll up.
*

Roxxi and Christy both come out to attack Gail post-match.

In the back, JB interviews Cornette, and he agrees to make tonight's match for the Tag Titles. Sting barges in and asks what's up with Kurt, and Cornette says he's finding out just as Sting is, and Sting flips Cornette's desk and throws shit.

Match #3: Team Pac Man [c] vs. Team 3D [TNA World Tag Team Championship]
This wasn't good, at all. Mostly Team 3D offense, and it is slow and lumbering as usual when they don't give a shit. VKM runs out to attack Truth for the DQ.
3/4*

The Steiners then run out to fight off the Dudleys.

Match #4: Gauntlet for the Theoretical Gold
This is decent enough. It's rushed and clipped to shit by a commercial, but you have solid showings from Roode and Storm and Harris and Shelley. Petey Williams is in for a long stretch to drag this down though. It gets down to James Storm and Eric Young for a solid match, and Eric gets an upset with a roll up.
**

In the back, The Christian Coalition is talking, and AJ is in a Tomko shirt now. Tomko says he has to go to Tokyo to defend his tag title. Christian asks why AJ is wearing a Tomko shirt, and tells AJ to stay with him in America instead of Japan, and AJ nods. Christian asks Tomko why he has to go, and Tomko says a champion has to defend his title, if Christian still remembers.

A video airs on Ultimate X.

In California, Kurt says the game is almost over and he can't wait to congratulate Sting's boy.

Match #5: Samoa Joe/LAX/Junior Fatu vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels/Senshi w/ Elix Skipper
TNA is still the worst company in the world at this point, but a positive about the two hours is that these good looking matches can actually get time. Fatu is kept out until the end, so the majority of TNA's great wrestlers get to shine for 10 minutes. Fantastic AJ and Christian bumping, and Christian refuses to fight Joe. Really awesome finishing run, and Joe beats Senshi with the Muscle Buster.
***

Back in California, Angle is with Sting's son, and says he's a great player. He repeats that he wants the old Sting at BFG, so he slaps Sting's kid, and shuts the camera off.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007


TNA Impact
October 11th, 2007
Orlando, FL

Match #1: Jay Lethal vs. Havok

This was at least short, and Lethal wins with the Lethal Injection.
*

Christopher Daniels is watching on the stage and Don West uses the deputy Authority Figure position I'm 99% sure he has and announces Lethal/Daniels for the X Title at BFG.

Kurt Angle comes out, and he is wearing Sting's son's football jersey. Weird. That's really fucking weird. Tenay says Angle robbed Sting's son of his innocence, and holy shit, are they playing it off like Angle raped Sting's kid? Kurt says it was payback for Sting hitting his wife, and repeats that he wanted the old Sting. Karen Angle comes out and says he's gone too far now, and Kurt says he decides where the line is, not her. She says she never should have agreed to fake the slap last month, so I guess that was Kurt's idea. Sting comes on the tron and says now the mind games truly begin, and asks Kurt to be careful what he wishes for. A mannequin Sting comes from the ceiling, and Kurt attacks it before realizing it's fake.

In the rafters, Dr. Nash finds Sting. he tries to calm him down and Sting asks what Nash would do if Angle attacked his son, and Nash says he would kill him. Sting then tells Kevin not to lose his edge, and Nash leaves.

Match #2: Team Pac Man vs. Senshi/Elix Skipper
This was decent enough for some 3-4 minutes. Killings vs. both XXX members is quality work, and Pac Man causes a distraction by throwing money at Elix. Truth then hits the Scissors Kick to win.
*1/2

The Steiner Brothers come out, and they shake the hands of Team Pac Man. What the fuck? Why? SHADES OF GRAY. FUCK LOGIC. Rick gets on the mic and says IF YOU DON'T LIKE ME, BITE ME. Anyways, Scott says that at BFG, it will be a 2/3 Falls Table Match and they'll prove who the greatest tag team of all time is and who the undisputed Bingo Hall Backyard Wrestling Fat Ass Champions are, and it ain't them. Team 3D comes out, and they are held apart.

Match #3: Amazing Kong vs. Gail Kim
This was pretty great for 2 minutes. Mostly a Kong showcase, and it did the job. She wins with a Spiral Bomb.
*1/2

Clips air of Tomko and Giant Bernard with the IWGP Titles in Japan.

It is time for TNA's rip off of The Peep Show, horribly entitled "Chattin with the Champ". Really? Is "The Peep Show" actually copywritten? Also, he's not a champion. Anyways, AJ is there too and the set is decorated as a luau. Joe comes on and Christian welcomes him to the island. Christian goes on about how Joe can't beat him, and he's the only undefeated man in TNA. Joe says until Bound for Glory, he is, and he would spend that night in the hospital too. Christian and AJ try to cheap shot him, but Joe fights them. Morgan comes out to neutralize AJ, and Christian hits Joe with a weak coconut shot before bailing.

Match #4: Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks vs. Petey Williams
This happened for a few minutes. Petey is still THE WORST. It's really impressive, in a fucked up way, that TNA has like 4 or 5 guys who are potential candidates for being the worst wrestler in the entire world. Roode wins with the Payoff.
3/4*

Roode tells her to slap Petey, but she refuses, and Kaz runs out to save, so I guess that's a feud again now?

Match #5: Raven/Black Reign vs. Abyss/Rhino [Hardcore Bullshit]
Yeah, also terrible. Rhino is dragged down to their level. Raven is incredibly out of shape, but is still in better condition than Black Reign. Abyss saw Petey's match, and this feels like him arguing that he's the worst in the world. Abyss eats thumbtacks to the eyes and accidentally Black Hole Slams Rhino. Dustin covers to win.
1/2*

In the back, Junior Fatu says he's entering the Reverse Battle Royal.

Match #6: Kurt Angle/Team 3D vs. Junior Fatu/LAX [Special Enforcer: Matt Morgan]
LAX tried. Too much useless dead weight though. Angle beats Homicide with only one Angle Slam. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
*1/2

Angle celebrates and a Latino Nation member with his face hidden by a bandana gets in. Yeah, it's Sting. They fight.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 6/17/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Team Pac Man, Since 9/9/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007


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TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2007
OCTOBER 14TH, 2007
DULUTH, GA


A video airs talking about the motivations of top wrestlers, getting most of them totally wrong
-Sting is supposedly only in it to win one last World Title, mentioning nothing about the personal issues
-AJ Styles wants to prove that he is the fastest rising star in TNA, despite currently being a cowardly heel in a tag team and as a lackey to a top heel
-Abyss wants to be the best big man in TNA, despite his match having guys who are all clearly smaller than him, unless they meant big as in fat
-"It's all about the individual" being said during 5 straight clips of tag teams coming down the ramp

Match #1: LAX vs. Senshi/Elix Skipper [Ultimate X #1 Contender's Match]
This is a total spotfest, but they avoided anything super contrived and had cool stuff. Plus it's TNA, so you kind of just take the good where you can. Lots of awesome Hernandez power spots, and Ki breaks out the amazing Tree of Whoa Ghetto Stomp. Hernandez hits the Border Toss to Elix over the top onto Ki on the floor and goes up himself to get the X to win.
***

Clips air of Kurt, Karen, and Nash all arriving separately to the building.

Tenay and DW then run down the card.

In the back, Crystal is with the Christian Coalition. Christian is mad that a tournament is even happening, because he should already be #1 Contender if not for Samoa Joe. AJ gives a shoutout to his mom and dad and his brothers for making him tough. He says he can't wait to win in his hometown basically, and Tomko shoves him away. He says the ring is his world, and he's going to put Pac Man's face through the mat.

Match #2: Fight For The Right Reverse Battle Royal
You know what? No. I'm not recapping this kind of match again. Fatu, Roode, Eric Young, Shelley, Kaz, Storm, Sabin, and Hoyt made it to the finals, which was then an actual battle royal until the end, when it was a real match. It got down to Roode vs. Eric Young AGAIN, and Eric wins with an inside cradle to block the Payoff.
45/Poop

Hype video for Team Pac Man vs. CC.

In the back, Kurt and Karen argue.

Pac Man introduces his stand in, CONSEQUENCES CREED

Match #3: Team Pac Man [c] w/ Pac Man Jones vs. AJ Styles/Tomko [TNA World Tag Team Championship]
This was an enjoyable 8 minutes. AJ carries Creed well, and Truth delivers. Team Pac Man is now working face for no real reason at all, but Truth is better a babyface and best in a tag team, so he was at his best here. AJ gets to break out his awesome Springboard SSP dive here, and then they beat Truth with the Au Revoir/Carnage Plex.
**1/2

In the back, Karen tries to get Dr. Nash to talk to Kurt, and Nash says Kurt is too stubborn. Karen says she knows how much Kurt pays him for their ridiculous therapy, and says if Kurt loses, then Nash will actually have to wrestle again. Nash says that's ridiculous, and he'll go talk to Kurt again.

Hype video for Lethal/Daniels.

Match #4: Jay Lethal [c] vs. Christopher Daniels [TNA X Division Championship]
Very good, but not quite great. Daniels is pretty bland here, not really having any focus on offense and just running through his spots. Lethal is starting to lose a little of his spark too, but he also is breaking out more of the Suplexes and stuff that got him over to begin with before the gimmick. Lethal wins with the Lethal Injection.
**3/4

Hype video for Steiners/3D.

Match #5: The Steiner Brothers vs. Team 3D [Best of Three Falls Tables Match]
This was not good, and got the longest time of any match yet at 13 minutes. Scott puts Bubba through one table with a Frankensteiner. 3D puts Rick through another. MCMG comes out to distract Team 3D in revenge, and the Doomsday Bulldog puts D-Von through the third one to win.
*3/4

In the back, the Knockouts argue.

Match #6: Knockouts Gauntlet for the Gold [TNA Knockouts Championship]
Not doing a full rundown, because who gives a shit? It has Gail, Kong, Jackie, Ms. Brooks, ODB, Christy, Roxxi, Shelly Martinez, and the future Beautiful People. Gail vs. Kong is pretty great but is limited compared to the other barely trained slits going at it, and having watched TNA 2006-7, I can understand the delusion that Gail is good. She was a great manager for AMW, and compared to the load of shit that was the KO Division before the belt, she was clearly the best, and the Kong matches are probably going to hold up as the best women's series in a while. Everyone gets rid of Kong when they can, and it gets down to Gail vs. Roxxi. Was pretty solid. Gail wins the belt with the Air Raid Crash.
**

In the back, Nash talks to Angle and tries to get him to apologize to Sting. Angle says Nash has lost his edge, but he's sharper than ever. Angle says Sting should apologize to him for hitting his wife, and Nash says he already admitted that never happened, and he's not helping him tonight and he's not getting in Sting's way again. Kurt says Nash can barely stand up without his knees creaking, and he can't get in the ring anyways.

Hype video for Joe/Christian.

Match #7: Samoa Joe vs. Christian [Special Enforcer: Matt Morgan]
This was pretty great, but there's almost no way it could fail with 15 minutes. Huge awesome Christian bumping, and again, they had a completely original set of stuff in their third match, which is impressive, and something Christian does better than anyone else. Maybe even better than anyone ever. Great finishing run, and Morgan cuts off AJ and Tomko, and chases them to the back. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and puts on The Choke to win.
***

Horrible hype video for Monsters Ball.

Match #8: Abyss vs. Rhino vs. Raven vs. Black Reign [Monster's Ball]
Your token hardcore Abyss bullshit festival of cliche spots, now with guys who are slow and lumbering and obviously set up prop spots. Abyss hits someone with a move on a prop to win.
3/4*

Hype video for the main event.

Match #9: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Sting [TNA World Heavyweight Championship]
Not good or anything, because it's a big Kurt Angle match, but it could have been worse. Sting comes out with a great BFG performance again, but he gets roped into working an Angle match, which is not his element at all. Karen tries to interfere, but she is dragged away because of the restraining order. Nash comes out, but Sting also disposes of him. Most interesting thing is Kurt accidentally using Gran Akuma's 450 Knee Drop Splash, but Sting still wins with the Scorpion Deathdrop.
**3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Sting, Since 10/14/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


TNA Impact
October 18th, 2007
Orlando, FL


In the back, Kurt Angle blames Nash for costing him the title. Karen and JB both say that Nash came out to save him, and Kurt says he would beat up Nash tonight. He says he wants his rematch with Sting tonight, and tells Karen to leave.

TONIGHT: Fight for the Right tournament matches, a Parade of Champions

Kurt Angle comes out and he calls out Nash to apologize to him for costing him the title. Nash comes out and says to listen to his wife, and he was trying to save Angle. Angle shoves him, so Nash kicks him in the gut and hits him with the Jackknife Powerbomb, because fuck Kurt Angle.

In the back, Angle is lying down and JB and Karen are back with him. Angle says he needs a peace offering, and asks JB what Nash likes, and he says Nash loves porn. Kurt tries to get Karen and JB to go buy Kevin some porn to get him back on his side. Karen leaves, and Kurt yells at her to get some porn.

Match #1: Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin [Fight For the Right Quarterfinals]
This is only a minute before Team 3D comes out to attack for a no contest.
Fucking TNA

They put them through a table with the Superbomb, and Bubba says they deserve the attention that this stupid X Division gets, and they are going to destroy the X Division.

In the back, both Joe and Christian want in the tournament.

In the back, Black Reign, now guided by Mitchell, beats down Abyss and puts the rat on his face.

Match #2: Awesome Kong vs. Talia Madison
Good Kong squash, once again. Sup future Velvet Sky. Spiral Bomb ends it.
*

In the back, JB talks to Nash. He says for the last year, he's played comic relief, and he's fine with that and likes it, but if Kurt wants to find out if there's still a little Diesel left in this tank, then he's fine with that too. Karen comes over to try and talk to him. Nash says Kurt did what he did, and if she lies with him, she dies with him, and he leaves.

In the back, Crystal interviews Chris Harris, who is now being a dick for no reason. His partner tonight, Rhino, comes on, and Harris is understandably mad at him for not showing up on time for their interview, and tells him to try and stay sober tonight.

Match #3: Chris Harris/Rhino vs. James Storm/Robert Roode w/ Jackie Moore & Ms. Brooks
Storm and Roode continue to work very well with each other. There is now a random broad in the front row with a Roode sign. This only gets 3 minutes though, unfortunately. Rhino and Storm brawl to distract the ref as Harris has a roll up, and then Roode hits Harris with the Payoff to win.
*3/4

In the back, Kaz cuts a horrible promo and is looking fat.

The Parade of Champions happens, which is Sting, AJ/Tomko, and Gail all being awarded with the title belts. And Jay Lethal, who already had a belt. Tomko says he already had his doubts, but they did it, and against his better judgment, he'll even let AJ talk. AJ thanks Ivan Dragon, Pokemon Diamond, Kip James, and Christian gets mad that neither man thanked him. Christian says he's the real Champion and he wants in the tournament. Cornette says Joe wants it too, so he books Joe vs. Christian for the final spot tonight. The Coalition leaves, and Sting comes out last. Cornette claims it was the best match and biggest win of Sting's career, which is total lunacy. The crowd chants that he still has it, which uh...yeah, no shit. He's been a main event fixture for 18 months now, of course he still has it. It's not like he just came out of a retirement or whatever. Kurt Angle comes out in a wheelchair and says due to serious spinal trauma, he cannot fight him tonight, but it will be next week.

Match #4: Kaz vs. Lance Hoyt [Fight for the Right Quarterfinals]
This happens. Kaz wins. Let's move on.
1/2*

Match #5: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage [Fight for the Right Quarterfinals]

They get 10 minutes or so, so again, it's good in spite of TNA being TNA. Ref bump. Joe has the Choke on, and for no reason, Robert Roode comes out and hits Joe with a chair and Christian covers to win and immediately put a stop to Joe's momentum out of BFG. Fucking TNA.
**3/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Sting, Since 10/14/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007

TNA Impact
October 25th, 2007
Orlando, FL

Match #1: LAX/The Steiner Brothers vs. AJ Styles/Tomko/Voodoo Kin Mafia w/ Roxxi Laveuax

This is like 4 minutes, so whatever. Don says AJ/Tomko vs. LAX is next week. The Steiners and AJ/Tomko end up brawling to the back, and yeah. Roxxi spits some kind of mist in Hernandez's eyes, but Homicide counters that by hitting BG with a slapjack and covering to win.
*1/2

In the back, Karen yells at Kurt that he made Sting even more upset than he already was, and says they need Kevin. Kurt tells her to go seduce him, and Karen asks what if Nash says yes, and Kurt says if it happens, it happens. She yells that she's his wife, and Kurt says he'll get over it. He says they lose a lot of money without the title, and she says she hates him and leaves.

Match #2: James Storm w/ Jackie Moore vs. Eric Young [Fight for the Right Quarterfinals]
Eric now moves on to wasting James Storm's time with a feud. They do stuff, and Storm wins with the Superkick.
*3/4

Eric gets to drink the beer post-match.

In the back, Karen tries to seduce Nash, but he refuses.

A pretape airs with Team 3D. They say TNA isn't paying attention to them anymore, so they'll destroy the X Division so that TNA has to pay attention to them.

Match #3: Shark Boy vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Petey Williams vs. Havoc
HORRIBLE. Luckily, Team 3D attacks and destroys all four of them. Typical TNA booking, as they now turn Team 3D babyface by having them interrupt a terrible match.
1/20065759*

In the back, Roode says he did what he did last week to get attention, and he's tired of the same faces on top. He says he's going to win Fight to the Right, and then the title

Match #4: Sting [c] vs. Kurt Angle w/ Karen Angle [TNA World Heavyweight Championship]
Weird that this is in the middle of the show. They have their match, and it's very much a house show match, and Kevin Nash comes down. Sting hits Nash when they get near him, so Nash then gets on the apron minutes later when the ref is down. Sting hits him and Angle hits the Angle Slam to win when another ref comes out to count.
**1/4

Nash goes to shake Angle's hand, but Angle gives him the finger and leaves. The referees argue and Cornette comes out and says he'll review the footage, like there's anything to fucking review. That is like the least offensive screwjob in TNA history.

Match #5: Awesome Kong vs. Angel Williams
Another good squash for Kong. Spiral Bomb is the end of it.
*1/4

Mike Tenay complains about the Angle/Sting finish, and storms off to go find Cornette. THANK GOD.

Black Reign attacks Abyss again

Match #6: Junior Fatu vs. Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks [Fight for the Right Tournament]
This happened. Roode tries his best, but again, he's not a carryjob guy. Samoa Joe comes out to stop Roode from cheating, so Rikishi wins with the Bonzai Drop. Don West is pretty great at calling this by himself.
*1/2

Tenay and Cornette come out to end the show. Cornette says Angle is the new champion, obviously. If he let other shit fly, then this is nothing. He books Angle and Nash vs. Sting and someone else at Genesis, and the TNA Title will be on the line. Sting comes out before the partner can be made and says he'll pick his own partner and he'll be more than qualified.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


TNA Impact
November 1st, 2007
Orlando, FL


Hey, fuck it!

AJ Styles/Tomko vs. LAX - **3/4

Christian Cage vs. Chris Harris [Fight for the Right Semi-Finals] - **1/4

James Storm vs. Kaz [Fight for the Right Semi-Finals] - *1/2

It is Christian/Kaz in the finals

Samoa Joe/Gail Kim vs. Roode/Brooks - *1/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


TNA Impact
November 8th, 2007
Orlando, FL

Match #1: Christian Cage vs. Kaz [Fight for the Right Finals]

Christian comes out with a ladder. He does the best he can to get a great match out of Kaz, and they get like 10 minutes, but it just isn't happening, because Kaz just doesn't fucking have the ability. His strikes look like shit, his bumping is nothing to write home about, and his offense is either contrived or stupid. If TNA wasn't so heavy with truly horrible guys like Abyss, Black Reign, Raven, Petey Williams, Dutt, Angle, VKM, etc. there would be an argument for Kaz as the worst guy in the company. Anyways, AJ and Tomko get involved and the ladder is used, so the ref throws it out.
**1/4

Matt Morgan comes out and says he is in charge tonight, and he books Christian vs. Kaz in the Finals at Genesis in a Ladder March!

In the back, Angle and Nash talk and Angle is mad that Scott Hall will be here and suspects Hall is the partner. Nash says he'll talk to him.

In the back, AJ and Tomko are interviewed. AJ challenges Scott Steiner to an amateur wrestling takedown challenge, because he was an all star wrestler for Gainesville Vocational, BIG POPPA DUMP.

Match #2: Gail Kim vs. Random Slut
This is nothing, and Gail wins with the Air Raid Crash. During this, DW books MCMG vs Team 3D for Genesis.
1/2*

In the back, Karen tries to seduce Scott Hall, but he refuses and says he's here to talk to Kev.

Clips air from earlier today, where Team 3D attacked Shark Boy and Petey Williams in catering and put them through tables.

Match #3: Team 3D vs. Jay Lethal/Abyss
This happened for 3-4 minutes. Black Reign comes out to attack Abyss, and then Lethal gets beat with the 3D.
*1/2

They keep beating on Lethal, but the MCMG run out to save, and they run off the Dudleys.

Kurt Angle comes out, and he calls out Scott Hall. He doesn't come out, so Kurt goes backstage to find him.

Kurt Angle finds Eric Young in the back, and asks where Scott Hall is. He shows up and says he's not hard to find, since he's 6'6'' and more handsome than 10 movie stars. Angle says to stay out of his business, but Hall avoids a cheap shot and throws Kurt into the wall, and says to stay out of his business with Nash tonight. I mean, hey, fuck Kurt Angle, but it's pretty shitty to have your World Champion get dominated by the wreck that is Scott Hall.

Don West now also books Lethal/Dutt for the X Title.

Match #4: AJ Styles vs. Scott Steiner [5 Minute Takedown Challenge]
This is not much, obviously. AJ using almost nothing but cheating to get takedowns was great, but that's about all there is. It goes to a no contest when Tomko comes in to attack Steiner.
*1/4

Rick Steiner also comes out, and they run off AJ and Tomko.

In the back, Scott Hall leaves Sting's locker room.

Match #5: Sting/Samoa Joe/Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle/James Storm/Robert Roode w/ Jackie Moore & Ms. Brooks
Good match, with the exception of Kurt. Joe vs. Beer Money was great, and then Sting had his typical great hot tag. Eric Young takes out Angle, and Storm ducks the Superkick from Storm and puts on the Scorpion Deathlock for the win.
**1/4

Kevin Nash comes out to end the show. He calls Scott Hall out, and Scott asks where Kev has been the last few years. Nash says there's a point where he had to pull himself out of the gutter next to Hall, and he's sorry if that makes him a bad friend. Hall says he's not Sting's partner, and they hug. So why even come here? Then why even waste half the 4938op [-4'o9pnrjr]i

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


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TNA Genesis 2007
November 11th, 2007
Orlando, FL

Match #1: Abyss vs. Black Reign [Shop of Horrors Match]

Terrible hardcore cliche Abyss tripe here. Despite being horrible for the last year, TNA has still usually been good about what matches to open PPVs with. This ends that trend. Abyss wins with the Black Hole Slam.
3/4*

Hey, what ever happened to Judas Mesias? Anyways, Reign and a dude in a Muta mask beat on him.

There is a limo in the back.

Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D
Shockingly great match! D-Von is still mostly worthless, but Bubba was trying real hard, and as usual is better as a heel. Sabin and Shelley hit all their shit perfectly, and prove to be great as an underdog babyface team as well. Classic tag formula, and for the first time in TNA, the Dudleys remind you why they're the fucking Dudley Boyz. Awesome finishing run of stuff. Team 3D sets up a table in the corner, but Sabin avoids going through and sends D-Von into the table and through it. They then hit Bubba with the AS/CS Rush to win.
***

In the back, Kurt loses his shit and accuses Nash of being in on this too. Nash grabs him by the throat and says he can put him through this wall right now, but he needs Kurt out there to watch his back, just like Kurt needs him, and then he's going to Powerbomb Kurt right through the ring and take his title.

Match #3: Gail Kim [c] vs. Roxxi Laveaux vs. ODB vs. Angel Williams [TNA Knockout Championship]
This happens for a while. A while is 10 minutes, which is way too long for them. Gail beats ODB with a Straightjacket Neckbreaker, which Don dubs the Happy Ending. Don West is the best.
*1/2

Awesome Kong comes out and singals for the belt.

In the parking lot, James Storm, Eric Young, and Jackie Moore come out of the limo and Storm has a title belt with a bottle of beer with his logo on it. He says this isn't the surprise limo, this is the limo for the World Heavyweight Drinking Champion. Storm says the surprise limo is behind them. Storm drags Eric Young to go challenge for his title.

Match #4: Jay Lethal [c] vs. Sonjay Dutt [TNA X Division Championship]
Lethal tries his best, but Dutt is still pretty horrible. He's never not been awful, aside from that weird run in 2005 where he showed that he understood selling and didn't do anything contrived. Then he forgot all that shit, and has been terrible again for about 18 months. Anyways, Lethal drags Dutt through back and forthy type stuff and then wins with the Flying Elbow.
**1/4

Team 3D comes out and hits both men with 3Ds. They put Lethal through a table with a Superbomb, and they take the title! Bubba says he's holding this title and division hostage and leaves with the X Title.

In the back, the drinking contest is happening, AND THE BEER BOTTLE ON STORM'S TITLE IS A SPINNER! AHGAHAHAHAHAHAH! They have shots of Jack and then they down the nondescript beers. Storm says in 20 minutes, they'll see how Eric feels.

Hype video for the tag title match.

Match #5: AJ Styles/Tomko [c] vs. The Steiner Brothers [TNA World Tag Team Championship]
This wasn't good, mostly due to Rick Steiner being in too much at the beginning and end. Scott was decent as a face in peril, but that didn't go long enough to be of much substance. Rick had a horrible hot tag, and Tomko distracts the ref as AJ gets a low blow and a chair shot on Rick for the win. Waste of AJ and Tomko, the LAX match would have been so much better. Oh well.
*3/4

Hype video for Joe/Roode.

Match #6: Samoa Joe vs. Robert Roode w/ Ms. Brooks
This gets time, so it's good, since Joe still cares. There is a woman in the crowd with a pro-Robert Roode sign that says "HIRE ME, ROBERT". Typical good Joe formula against a cheating heel, as he murders Roode until cheating like crazy gets Roode a little bit of an opening. Roode works the leg, and Joe sells like the proverbial motherfucker. Brooks randomly passes out, and nobody cares. Good finishing run, and the crowd doesn't care, since Roode will never beat Joe, but it's TNA and you give them points for effort in 2007. Joe wins with the Muscle Buster.
***

In the parking lot, the Angles try to get in the limo, but Sting fights Kurt and they are separated. Horrible segment.

Match #7: Christian Cage vs. Kaz [Fight for the Right Finals - Ladder Match]
I'm upset at how good this is. Against all fucking logic and sense, TNA elects to try and make Frankie goddamned Kazarian the next top babyface, as he wins this. Christian is fucking Christian though, and his forte is making bland overpushed assholes look like stars. Christian bleeds a ton, and manages to channel Kazarian into a series of logically set up and cool ladder spots. AJ and Tomko come out to help, but Christian waves them off, and it allows Kaz to shove Christian off to get the contract. BOOOOOO.
***

In the back, Storm and Young are still drinking. Storm starts pouring all the shots of Jack down a beer bong, and does it easily. Storm says the first man out the door wins, AND STORM PASSES OUT! He takes a huge bump off of it too, like he got shot, which I'm pretty certain is factually inaccurate. But Eric Young wins the title.

Hey, the mystery partner is Booker T. Great.

Match #8: Kurt Angle [c]/Kevin Nash vs. Sting/Booker T [TNA World Heavyweight Championship]
This isn't really good at all. Stuff happens. Booker is clearly not giving a shit, and in fact, Nash might be the most motivated guy in the match, which is a really weird statement to make when reviewing a match. AJ and Tomko come out and they attack Booker and Sting. Kurt hits Nash with the belt and then hits Sting with the Angle Slam to win.
**

Karen comes out and celebrates with AJ and Tomko and Kurt Angle. Christian comes onto the stage, confused and bloody, and yeah.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


TNA Impact
November 15th, 2007
Orlando, FL


The Angles, AJ, and Tomko come out to celebrate. Angle congratulates them on joining the Angle Alliance at Genesis and becoming like family to win. Kevin Nash comes out and attacks Kurt, but he is beat down in a 3 on 1. LAX, Shark Boy, MCMG, Lethal, etc. all come out to save Nash. The X Division saving Kevin Nash is so goddamned fantastic. The Angle Alliance leaves.

In the parking lot, Christian arrives.

In the back, Nash is on the phone and tells someone to get here. He says the fun's about to begin now.

Match #1: LAX vs. Jimmy Rave/Lance Hoyt w/ Christy Hemme
This could have been good, theoretically, if Hoyt never got in. He never got in, but it was also only one minute long, and Rave rolls up Homicide after a Hemme distraction.
3/4*

LAX corners Christy, and a masked Latino Nation comes out and hits her with a slapjack.

In the back, Team 3D does an amazing parody of terrorist videos. They have a hostage with a hood over his head and Bubba says they will hold the X Division Title hostage until their demands are met. They want all their rats and their mothers and they say they have less than an hour to meet his demands.

In the back, Crystal talks to Christian, and says he hasn't talked to either AJ or Tomko since Genesis, and blames them for distracting him. He says they better have a great excuse for helping Kurt Angle after he brought Tomko to TNA and all he's done for AJ.

Match #2: Robert Roode/Ms. Brooks vs. Chris Harris/Gail Kim
Robert Roode Fan is there again. Tenay starts talking about how Harris is a whiner. Which uh...hey, great. He's finally doing something. This is great news, considering he's a good wrestler who appears to have a bright future. But you actually have to show him whining for Tenay to say "He's done nothing but whine for the last few months", instead of just one weird segment where he and Rhino didn't get along. Anyways, Roode vs. Harris was good. Roode wins with the Payoff.
*3/4

Roode keeps attacking, but Brooks refuses to let him. She shoves him and leaves, but then attacks the fan with a "HIRE ME ROBERT" sign. She never interfered or anything, so this is a cunt move here.

In the back, Cornette yells at Morgan for booking matches. Rave and Hoyt come in and they demand punishment for LAX.

Team 3D comes out with their hostage, and make their demands again. Jay Lethal comes out to attack them, and he drives them off. He reclaims his title, but the hostage takes off his hood to reveal that it's Johnny Devine, and he attacks Lethal. They beat him down, until the MCMG comes out to save. This is a great angle in theory, but it leads to Johnny Devine matches, so it doesn't work.

In the back, JB talks to AJ and Tomko. AJ says this is all a huge misunderstanding. AJ says he knows Christian is watching and says he's under a lot of pressure as team captain. He says he made the deal with Karen because it would be great for all of them to add Kurt to the Coalition. He says he loves Christian, man, and asks Tomko if he thinks Christian will be okay with this, and he says no and leaves.

In the back, they show Nash and Hall talking, and I guess he was on the phone with Hall.

JUDAS MESIAS.

The Outsiders come out. HEY YO. Nash says at Turning Point, it will be the Angle Alliance vs. the two of them and a mystery partner, and everyone will find out who that is before the night is over.

Match #3: Abyss vs. Black Reign vs. Rellik
Tenay helpfully tells us that Rellik is KILLER SPELLED BACKWARDS. This was pretty terrible and Abyss won.
1/45*

They double team him until Rhino comes out to save.

Match #4: Awesome Kong vs. Alexa Jade
Another great Kong squash.
*

Gail Kim comes out and they get pulled apart. Kong then kills her with the Spiral Bomb.

Jim Cornette comes out, and Booker T and Sharmell come out to sign a contract. Christian comes out to shit on him for stealing his spotlight, and says there is only one King in TNA, and it's Christian Cage. They brawl, and Booker runs off Christian.

Match #5: Kurt Angle [c] w/ Karen Angle vs. Kaz [TNA World Heavyweight Championship]
This sucked, but that was to be expected. They do stuff, AND GRATUITOUS FINISHER KICKOUTS. After that, they have a really shitty finish with Kurt getting a front guillotine pin for the win.
*1/2

Hall and Nash come out, but AJ and Tomko come out to attack them. Then Samoa Joe runs out to save, and he is the partner.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007

TNA Impact
November 22nd, 2007
Orlando, FL


The show begins with a hype video for the TNA Turkey Bowl. And then...

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At what we can assume is the Angle home by Kurt saying welcome to their home, Kurt Angle, Karen Angle, Jeremy Borash, AJ Styles, and Tomko are eating thanksgiving dinner. Kurt and Karen are dressed as Pilgrim man and wife. There's a gold medal on each plate, and we can see a spot saved for Christian Cage, as well as others down the long table. Kurt points out the amazing placemats.

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Kurt asks that they all pray, and asks Tomko to take his hat off out of respect. He asks why Karen gets to keep her hat on, and Kurt says "duh, she's a pilgrim" like the most obvious thing in the world. AJ says pilgrims never take their hats off, so Tomko takes off his hat. AJ eats corn while he prays, AND HAHAHAHHAHA KURT'S DAUGHTER IS ALL THE WAY AT THE END OF THE TABLE IN A LADY PILGRIM OUTFIT HOLY SHIT! Kurt thanks the lord for his good looks, athletic prowess, and Olympic gold medals. JB and Karen make faces at each other, and now Kurt's daughter is no longer in uniform. Kurt thanks the lord for PacMan Jones being gone, TNA writers NOT being on strike like everyone else, and prays that God is on their team at Turning Point vs. Joe/The Outsiders. Kurt is also wearing his title belt around his waist in full pilgrim outfit, and AJ confirms that Kurt invited Christian, EVEN THOUGH AJ IS SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO THE PLATE LABELED "CHRISTIAN CAGE". They then turn to watch the TNA Turkey Bowl.

THE TNA TURKEY BOWL:
-Three triple threat Semi-Final matches involving one X Division wrestler, one tag team wrestler, and a heavyweight wrestler
-A final match which is also a three way
-The winner gets $25,000
-The loser is forced to wear a turkey suit

SEMI-FINALS:
-Samoa Joe vs. Kip James vs. Johnny Devine
-Christian Cage vs. Jay Lethal vs. AJ Styles
-Abyss vs. Chris Sabin vs. Brother Devon

Match #1: Abyss vs. Chris Sabin vs. Brother Devon [TNA Turkey Bowl Semi-Finals]
At the time, Team 3D was feuding with the MCMG and the X Division as a whole. This...this is not good. Sabin hits all his stuff well, but this is 2007 D-Von and Abyss, so yeah. BUT BLACK REIGN AND RELLIK COME OUT TO ATTACK ABYSS, SOMEHOW NOT A DQ, AND RHYNO RUNS DOWN TO SAVE! TNA! TNA! TNA! The two teams fight to the back, and Don West hypes up THE MATCH OF 10,000 TACKS~ at Turning Point. It's just Sabin and D-Von then, and Bubba runs out to help in a plaid vest and camo shorts. Sabin moves, and Bubba hits D-Von. He hits a Step Up Enzuiguri on Bubba, and then gets a schoolboy on D-Von to win and go to the finals.
*3/4

In the parking lot, The Outsiders arrive. Nash asks the cameraman where Kurt's thing is, and says it's down the hallway. So Kurt's house is on the TNA lot.

At the thanksgiving dinner, Robert Roode comes in, dragging Tracy Brooks with him, and Kurt welcomes him to his house. Roode yells at her for trying to take his seat and then for not holding out his chair for him. James Storm and Jackie come in next, each holding six packs. Storm says he tied his horse up to someone's Cadillac BMW. Chris Harris comes in next, and says the directions to his house SUCKED. We've established that it's on the Impact lot in the last segment, you've worked here since they got to Orlando in June 2004, you've had over 3 years to learn how to get to work. SOMEHOW, Chris Harris has a problem with Robert Roode being here, despite saying this standing next to James Storm, who blinded him earlier in the year. Kurt yells at him to be thankful and sit down. Chris Harris says he only came here to finally get TV time, and sits next to Roode and Jackie. Amazing. Eric Young shows up in a wifebeater and jeans, and just...by the way. JB, Roode, and Harris are dressed nice. Tomko and Eric Young are wearing wifebeaters, and Storm and AJ are wearing t-shirts. And then the Angles are dressed like pilgrims. Kurt demands to know who invited Eric. JB invited him, and Kurt says to go sit away from him and not to touch anything. In fact, Kurt says to go sit at the kid's table with his daughter, who is now at her own table. Also, the turkey now has a US flag through the top.

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Match #2: Samoa Joe vs. Kip James w/ Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Johnny Devine [TNA Turkey Bowl Semi-Finals]
This is about the tail end of Joe being a legitimately great wrestler, but it's mostly him running through offense on these two, making it MOTN so far. Gunn & Devine briefly team up on Joe, but he fights back. He knocks Gunn off the apron into BG James on the floor, and Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Johnny Devine to win and go to the finals.
**

BACK AT THE ANGLE HOUSEHOLD, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, and Sonjay Dutt show up. Shark Boy has a taped up fin and neck brace on. James Storm and Eric Young have a beer drinking contest.

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AJ leaves to go wrestle, and Karen yells at him to sit back down and finish his meal. Somehow, it's taken The Outsiders almost 20 minutes to find this particular set/"Kurt Angle's home".

Christian never comes out for the 3rd semi-final, so it just turns into AJ vs. Lethal.

Match #3: AJ Styles vs. Jay Lethal [TNA Turkey Bowl Semi-Finals]
AJ is now in full gear, despite leaving the party 4 minutes ago. Not to mention that he did that and got to the ring, when it's taken Hall & Nash over 20 minutes at this point to go from the entrance of the building to Kurt's party. This reaffirms my theory of the TNA Impact Zone at this point being totally outside the rules of space, time, and existence in general. One of the rooms is apparently Kurt Angle's entire house, and another is a totally underwater shark hospital used in a Shark Boy sketch. AJ vs. Lethal is AJ vs. Lethal. It's a lot of fun, some really good stuff, and it's all pretty crisp. At the commercial, Christian Cage comes down and chases AJ around the ring and through the tunnel to the back. Coming back, it's Christian vs. Lethal as AJ watches on the stage. It's pretty good. Christian hits the Unprettier, but AJ runs down and hits a Springboard Splash. He taps Christian on the shoulder as he sits up, unaware that he's covering him, and AJ pins Lethal. Christian is PISSED, and AJ rolls out in fear.
**3/4

The Finals are set as Joe vs. AJ vs. Sabin.

Back at the Angle house, James Storm and Eric Young are now shirtless as Kurt tries to get them to put clothes back on. Rellik (KILLER SPELLED BACKWARDS!) and Black Reign show up now. They just pull meat off the turkey, and walk away. Reign puts his rat on the table and Karen freaks out.

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They hype up Booker T on Impact next week, explaining why he joined TNA, playing it like the company has no idea.

Going back to Thanksgiving, JAY LETHAL SHOWS UP, PERFECTLY FINE, AND WITH HIS ENTRANCE JACKET AND HAT BACK ON! TNA! TNA! TNA! TNA! He asks where Hogan is, and Sonjay days he's in the snake pit. The rat is now on Reign's head. So Cal Val comes in, and Lethal puts his jacket down on the floor for her to walk over, so I guess there's a puddle in Kurt Angle's house. Kurt says he probably shouldn't have had a thanksgiving party.

They hype up FEAST OR FIRED!!!!!!!!! at Turning Point on 12/2.

Match #4: Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love vs. ODB
Pre-TBP TNA Knockouts divison is weird. This is pretty much a showcase for ODB slapping her tits, drinking, and grinding her vag on Love's face and Velvet's face. She hits Sky with a Thesz Press off the middle buckle to win.
1/2*

BACK TO THANKSGIVING!

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Kurt tries to get order, and JB pulls the turkey baster out of his pocket and gives it to Kurt before he has to go announce the main event. Awesome King comes in now, and sits at the far end of the table. She starts biting fake food, and Kurt says that the food she's eating is fake. Raising the question of why there's fake food for a thanksgiving dinner, but it's TNA. Jay Lethal yells "I DIDN'T KNOW KAMALA WAS COMING!" Kurt says there's real food on the other end of the table, but she keeps eating fake food. Eric Young is now wearing a woman's wig.

A pretape airs with Christopher Daniels cutting a promo about righteousness with Senshi and Elix Skipper behind him. This is all irrelevant, as Senshi will quit soon, and Daniels will get the Fired briefcase and go away for a few years as Curry Man comes in. Despite Senshi actually quitting TNA, he doesn't get the Fired briefcase when he wins one of them. TNA.

Back at Thanksgiving, Team 3D arrives to boos from everyone. Kurt says nobody invited them, and the X Division guys throw stuff at them. Everyone but the Angles and Awesome Kong leaves now and Kurt tells them to take what's left. They choose to sit by Kurt's daughter, and Karen yells to get out. Bubba says it's fine and Kurt tells his daughter not to be scared, and they probably won't eat her. Kurt's daughter tells the Dudleys that they suck.

Match #5: Chris Sabin vs. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles [TNA Turkey Bowl Finals]
This gets time, so it's a fun spotfest. Joe and Sabin working a lucha sequence is both hilarious and well done. There's a few botches and contrived three way spots, so it's not perfect, but it IS a lot of fun. Joe went through a table, so we got a long AJ/Sabin section. AJ is better as working heel than I remembered him being at the time. Joe/AJ is most of the finishing run, and that's one of the best non-WWE match ups of the 2000s. Joe hits the Muscle Buster to win at around 15 minutes or so. This was weirdly broken up by like 3 or 4 commercial breaks to the point where it went about 40 or so minutes in TV time on first showing, and they cut out over half of it. Fuckin' TNA.
***

Joe wins the $25,000 check, and AJ has to wear a turkey suit.

Back at Thanksgiving, some guys have come back like Tomko, Black Reign, Roode, Shark Boy, Eric Young, the midcard, etc. Kurt says nobody associated with him is going to wear a turkey suit, and he and Tomko walk off to the ring. Awesome Kong has taken the turkey to her end of the table, and is eatign it with her hands now.

In the ring, referees try to get AJ Styles to put the suit on, but he refuses and kicks the suit. Mike Tenay says Jim Cornette is on his way out, and he wants justice.

Back at Thanksgiving, Karen brings out two homemade pies for dessert, and The Outsiders finally show up after almost two hours. They take the pies, and Nash shoves one in her face, and Hall does the same thing.

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Jay Lethal climbs on the table and yells "FOOD FIGHT!" Storm hurls rolls at Petey, who blocks with a steel chair. Shark Boy throws water at Jackie, Black Reign smears stuffing on Karen's face, which is now completely clean from pie under 20 seconds later. So Cal Val throws peas at Roode, Storm sprays beer at Petey, people start fighting, etc. In the middle of it all...

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AWESOME KONG CATCHES A WING OUT OF MIDAIR AND BITES IT FUCK YEAH! This is how the amazing Thanksgiving party ends.

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Back in the ring, Jim Cornette is out there, meaning that his office is closer to the ring than Kurt Angle's house. Jim says AJ's been the biggest turkey here for a while, and he'll prove it tonight. He says AJ entered the tournament knowing this could happen, and says he'll put the turkey suit on right now or he's fired. AJ puts it on slowly, but gets the turkey suit on. Kurt Angle & Tomko come out now.

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Kurt says this is embarrassing, and AJ looks ridiculous. Angle asks how it'll look to have an Olympic gold medalist standing next to a turkey. AJ says Kurt looks more like a pilgrim than a gold medalist. They argue about it, but Samoa Joe and The Outsiders come out, and Joe says they just look like three jackasses. Kurt says he'd rather be a jackass than a Samoan, so the faces run out and clean house to end the show.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 10/25/2007
TNA World Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles/Tomko, Since 10/14/2007
TNA X-Division Champion: Jay Lethal, Since 9/9/2007 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
TNA Knockouts Champion: Gail Kim, Since 10/14/2007


TNA Impact
November 29th, 2007
Orlando, FL


In the back, Christian talks to Roode and says Booker T is coming to take spots from guys like him.

Booker T comes out to give a stock speech about TNA having the best wrestlers and wanting the title. Robert Roode comes out and says he won't take away his spotlight too, and he challenges him to a match tonight with both their skanks in the back, and Booker goes to fight him, but security keeps them from making contact. Roode challenges him again to a match, and Booker accepts.

Match #1: Eric Young/Gail Kim vs. Jimmy Rave/Christy Hemme w/ Lance Hoyt
The Hemme group is now officially named the Rock n' Rave Infection. Rave is clearly past his prime and unmotivated, but he did enough good stuff here. Hemme gets in, and Gail easily rolls her up to win.
*1/4

James Storm comes out and demands a rematch for his Drinking Title. They set up a table and Storm says this will be a 60 second challenge. Eric Young wins again, so Storm breaks a beer bottle on his head and leaves.

In the back, AJ and Tomko talk and they say they have to get Kurt and Christian on the same page for their match tonight.

Match #2: Team 3D vs. Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt [Street Fight]
This was not much. Devine knocks Lethal off the top through a table, and then the 3D beats Dutt.
*3/4

In the back, the Angle Alliance talks. AJ says Karen told him they could be on both teams, so Kurt makes Karen go talk to Christian.

Match #3: Rhino vs. Rellik
KILLER SPELLED BACKWARDS. This is horrible. Rhino wins.
1/2*

Black Reign attacks, and Abyss comes out to save.

In the back, there is a summit between the Angle Alliance and Christian Coalition, except Karen is replacing Kurt. AJ gets them to shake hands and AJ, Tomko, and JB leave. Christian shakes Karen and says nobody plays the champ, and he's still the champ.

Match #4: Robert Roode vs. Booker T
Both wenches are there. This isn't much, since it's like 5 minutes and Booker is mailing it in for most of his TNA run, if not all of it. Brooks stops Roode from using a chair, and Booker hits the Scissors Kick to win.
*1/2

Christian comes out and he and Roode attack Booker until Kaz runs out to save. Weird, since they're building to his face turn on Angle, and then he's doing shit like this in the middle of that. Don West says this is gonna be a tag match at Turning Point, continuing his strange booking power.

In the back, Crystal interviews Scott Steiner and mentions that he's in Feast or Fired, which is the first time this has been mentioned at all, so maybe Cornette gave her booking power too. He says nobody's gonna fire him and keeps getting her name wrong.

A video airs, announcing Gail/Kong for Turning Point.

Match #5: Samoa Joe/Scott Steiner/Kaz/Abyss vs. Kurt Angle/Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko w/ Karen Angle
AJ, Tomko, Christian, and Joe did awesome work as usual, although Joe is starting to give less of a shit by this point, due to lack of motivation and his style finally catching up with him, which is a damn shame. Kaz, Abyss, and Angle are three of the worst in the company though, so that dragged it down. Still, it was mostly Joe in for his side, and the Coalition carrying Kurt. AJ sets Joe for the Pele, but christian turns Joe for the Unprettier, and the Pele hits Christian! Joe then hits Christian with the Muscle Buster to win.
**1/4
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