| Simon Watches TNA - 2008 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Aug 8 2012, 09:10 PM (3,970 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Aug 17 2012, 04:51 PM Post #21 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Vacant, Since 4/17/2008 TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact April 24th, 2008 Orlando, FL Booker T comes out, and he calls out Sting. They talk about WCW for no real reason, and make up. James Storm and Robert Roode come out together, finally, and Storm says they should kiss and make up now. Roode says he'd rather see them fight. Cornette comes out and books them all in a tag match later. He then also makes a eight team tournament for the vacant Tag Titles at Sacrifice, with 4 regular tag teams and 4 makeshift tag teams in a lethal lottery. In the back, JB finds AJ outside a room. AJ says he and Tomko will win. Karen comes out the door and says this is a bad idea. JB says he won't tell Kurt BUT HEY DIPSHITS, IT'S ON FUCKING TV. Match #1: Team 3D vs. Black Reign/Rellik [Tag Tournament Qualifier] This is AWFUL. Team 3D wins. 1/46* In the back, JB interviews Kurt Angle. He says he will regain his title tonight and beat Rick Steiner at Sacrifice, and JB says he saw Karen here earlier. OH, WHAT THE FUCK? A hype video airs for Joe/Angle. Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Christian Cage/Rhino [Tag Title Tournament Qualifier] This is a a great match! It makes sense, since Christian vs. MCMG is always a pairing of two good wrestlers, and they will take huge bumps to carry Rhino. Shelley has a sweet dive, and this gets like 10 minutes, which really puts it over the top. Some great nearfalls and a great finish. Rhino cuts off Shelley's part of the AS/CS Rush with the Gore, and Christian ducks the Enzuiguri from Sabin and wins with the Unprettier. *** In the back, Cornette talks to all the women. He says their complaining has gotten to be too much, so he's making a Make Over Battle Royal for Sacrifice. Once it gets down to two of them, it will be a ladder match. The winner gets a title shot, and the loser is shaved bald. What the fuck? Not only is that terrible, but there's no reason for it. Match #3: Sting/Booker T vs. Robert Roode/James Storm w/ Jackie Moore The future Beer Money continues to show a world of potential. Sting is trying tonight too, so this didn't suck for the 4 minutes or so that it got. Storm and Roode miscommunicate at the end, and Booker takes out Roode so Sting can beat Storm with the Scorpion Deathdrop. ** Storm and Roode argue post-match. TNA immediately tried to split them up from the start. Fan-fucking-tastic. In the back, Kurt finds AJ and Karen. Kurt says she can only come home after he beats Joe. AJ says to relax, and Kurt shoves him. Kurt yells at them to get out of here. In the back, Cornette says the problem with TNA is that everyone wants stuff and complains about his day, where they wrestled 7 days a week all year and loved it. Well, yes and no. Yes, it was like that. No, you never wrestled 7 days a week all year, so you don't really get to make that call. He's invented some new bullshit match to punish the roster. Match #4: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Kurt Angle [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] This wasn't great, but it wasn't for any reason other than Kurt Angle sucking, even when reigned in like this. TNA deserves credit for giving multiple matches time this week, even if only MCMG vs. Christian/Rhino actually delivered. This is better than Lockdown, as it has an actual focus with Angle working the leg. Joe has some nice little sells, and Kurt keeps actually going to the Ankle Lock instead of his bullshit. Steiner comes out to hit Angle with his pipe, and Joe hits the Island Driver to win. **3/4 Steiner yells at Kurt to never disrespect him, and Joe and Steiner fight! It gets broken up, and Cornette comes out and books Joe/Steiner/Angle at Sacrifice. Edited by Big Tuna, Aug 17 2012, 04:51 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Aug 17 2012, 05:20 PM Post #22 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Vacant, Since 4/17/2008 TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 1st, 2008 Orlando, FL TONIGHT: Joe/Angle vs. Steiner/Petey MCMG vs. Curry Man/Shark Boy is supposed to happen, but like a minute in, Steiner, Petey, and Rhaka Khan come out and kill them all. Scott Steiner gets on the mic and says Kurt Angle weaseled his way into his title match at Sacrifice, and he was going to beat Joe for his title and take Kurt's gold medals too. Kurt Angle comes out to fight Scott Steiner, but falls to a 2 on 1 until Samoa Joe comes out to save. Terrible. In the back, JB is in Cornette's office. AJ Styles comes in and is upset that Tomko got hurt in Japan. Cornette says he has one hour to find a new partner to fight the Rock n' Rave Infection to qualify for the tournament, or he'll either forfeit or do it by himself. The Beautiful People come out to show clips of all the other Knockouts bald. Gail Kim and ODB come out to fight them, and they run them off. Gail challenges them to fight them later tonight, and says they'll leave them in their favorite positions, flat on their backs. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH In the back, Kurt talks to AJ and asks if he's talked to Karen recently. He says no, and Kurt says to keep it that way. Kurt leaves, and AJ goes looking for a partner. He asks Booker T, who big leagues AJ and asks if he wants an autograph, so AJ leaves. Match #1: LAX w/ Salinas vs. Kaz/Eric Young [Deuces Wild Qualifying Match] Hey, a match! The tournament is now named "Deuces Wild". This happened. EY bumped well for Hernandez, and he reminds you how great a bumper he used to be. Homicide rolls up Eric to win. *3/4 Homicide gets on the mic, and he asks Hector Guerrero to help train them and be in their corner for Sacrifice, and he agrees. In the back, Kip James attacks Matt Morgan as Morgan asks Cornette to be in the tournament. In the back, AJ Styles goes into Dr. Nash's office, and he is having a session with Christy Hemme. She leaves and says he will lose tonight. AJ asks Nash to be his partner tonight, and Nash says he's staying where the money is, and the money's with Joe right now. Match #2: The Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/ODB Decent enough match. Not great, but you shouldn't expect much from these four without Kong anyways. Velvet gets beat with the Happy Ending. * Roxxi then comes out and hits Angelina with the Voodoo Drop. In the back, JB is with Storm and Roode, who have made up. Storm drinks as Roode read the paper. AJ Styles comes in, and gives Storm a bottle of booze to be his partner, but Storm refuses, as does Roode. AJ leaves and is upset about not having a partner. A voice off-screen says he'll be AJ's partner. AJ comes out for his match, and his partner is Super Eric. Match #3: AJ Styles/Eric Young vs. The Rock n' Rave Infection w/ Christy Hemme [Deuces Wild Qualifying Match] This was good! AJ vs. Rave brings out the best in both men, even this out of shape, unmotivated, and pilled up Rave. Eric Young gets to show off his good offense as S.E., and AJ gets to work babyface again. So yeah, good show. Eric beats Rave with the DVD after some 3-4 minutes. ** A video airs for TNA's new match - THE TERRORDOME. WELCOME TO THE TERRORDOME Match #4: Daizee Haze vs. Cheerleader Melissa No idea why this got time on TV, but it was a good match. Melissa wins with the Vertebreaker/KUDO Driver/Cop Killa. ** SCOTT STEINER TALKS ABOUT THE FUCKING ODDS AND MATH (AND SHIT) IN THE GREATEST PROMO OF ALL TIME: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFoC3TR5rzI Match #5: Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. Scott Steiner/Petey Williams w/ Rhaka Khan This is short, at least. Joe mauling Petey was fun, as was Steiner killing Angle. They wisely hold off on Joe/Steiner. Which is weirdly possibly the most protected TNA main event match that I actually want to see at this point, since they've rarely touched since 2006 or so. Anyways, Joe beats Petey with the Muscle Buster. ** Angle attacks Joe, but Joe fights him. Steiner then lays out both men with the pipe. In the back, Cornette announces the guys who will be in the Lethal Lottery part of the tournament: Sting, Booker T, Roode, Storm, Matt Morgan, Kip James, BG James, AND FUCKING AWESOME KONG! YES! |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 17 2012, 06:00 PM Post #23 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Vacant, Since 4/17/2008 TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 8th, 2008 Orlando, FL To open the show, Cornette has all the Lethal Lottery guys in the ring and says he'll draw teams all night. He draws Storm and Sting together. Storm is not happy, and Cornette says each pairing will have a match tonight in a No DQ match. Why? What the fuck kind of bullshit show are you running, Cornette? In the back, Angle and Steiner make a deal to take out Joe before the show so they can have a singles match. Match #1: Petey Williams vs. Consequences Creed vs. Shark Boy vs. Curry Man vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Johnny Devine The women and Hoyt are all there. This is total bullshit, since it's some of the worst guys in the company doing awful contrived spots for 3-4 minutes. Hoyt interferes and Curry Man gets beat with the Ghanarea. 45/Poop In the back, Cornette says the knockouts have whined, so he's made a match where the winner is immune from head shaving at Sacrifice. I hate you. In the back, LAX, Team 3D, and Christian/Rhino all argue. It turns into a big brawl, and Hernandez hits Christian with the Border Toss into the black abyss off the screen. Match #2: Knockouts Immunity Battle Royal This is nothing, and Gail wins. 1/2* In the back, Crystal is back thankfully and interviews Joe and Nash. Joe says Angle and Steiner have a nice deal going, but he'll die before he loses this title, and he's got 7 feet of backup tonight if they want to try them. Joe leaves and Nash says strength won't beat that animal, and it'll take someone smarter than Steiner and Angle to do it. Hey, foreshadowing is cool. Fuck, I love some good foreshadowing. But don't make it so obvious so many months before it happens. Match #3: Sting vs. James Storm [No DQ] This is pretty great for the time it gets. Good spots, Sting is trying, and Storm is Storm. Probably the best gimmick match guy in the company. Only 5 minutes, but they do lots with it. They tease a table bump well, and Sting hits the Stinger Splash through the table and hits the Scorpion Deathdrop to win. **3/4 In the back, Kip James says whoever draws his name has drawn the golden ticket, since he's won more tag titles than anyone. In the ring, Jim Cornette draws Kip and Morgan together. JESUS CHRIST. Match #4: Matt Morgan vs. Kip James Morgan squashes him ahahahahahhahahahaha Poop/45 In the back, BG says he wants Kong as a partner. In the back, Steiner and Kurt talk about how they hate each other, and Petey keeps the peace and says they only need to get along for 10 minutes to do this. Match #5: Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash vs. Kurt Angle/Scott Steiner This was slightly better than last week, since nobody here is as bad as Petey, so Nash is an improvement. Same stuff applies here. Steiner hits Nash with the pipe to win. ** Angle puts Steiner in the Ankle Lock to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 04:25 PM Post #24 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: Vacant, Since 4/17/2008 TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY GREATEST PPV POSTER EVER. TNA Sacrifice 2008 May 11th, 2008 Orlando, FL Kurt Angle has a neck thing, so he is removed from the main event and the TERRORDOME~ match winner will replace him. In the parking lot, Team Steiner gets out of the limo. Steiner is interviews about Kurt's injury, and he says this is back to how it should be, him vs. Joe. He says Joe can't beat him one on one, and Rick Steiner also steps out of the limo! AND KEVIN NASH GETS OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE WTF. Match #1: Team 3D vs. Sting/James Storm w/ Jackie Moore [Deuces Wild - Quarterfinals] Decent enough match. The heel vs. heel dynamic when Storm was in was fun, and Sting continues his weird motivated streak after not giving a shit for all of 2007. Sting and Storm keep arguing, and Team 3D sets up a table. Sting throws Storm off the top and through the table, and D-Von covers to win. **1/4 Frank Trigg says words. He predicts Joe's win. Match #2: Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Booker T/Robert Roode [Deuces Wild - Quarterfinals] Roode and Booker cannot get along at all, obviously. Roode vs. Christian was like 80% of this, so it was good stuff. Rhino beats Roode with the Gore. **1/4 Booker then randomly lays out Christian and Rhino with chair shots. In the back, Steiner tells Nash that if he wins tonight, he'll get the first title shot, and tells him to think about it. Match #3: LAX w/ Hector Guerrero vs. Kip James/Matt Morgan [Deuces Wild - Quarterfinals] This is only like 4 minutes, so whatever. Morgan accidentally Bicycle Kicks Kip and Homicide covers to win. *1/2 In the back, AJ Styles tries to cut a promo and Kurt Angle storm in to demand if he's seeing Karen. AJ says he told him no, and Angle keeps yelling, so AJ says he doesn't want to answer him anymore, and tells him to take care of his neck before he leaves. Match #4: AJ Styles/Super Eric vs. BG James/Awesome Kong [Deuces Wild - Quarterfinals] This was a match. AJ is basically back to being a babyface again, and had some entertaining stuff vs. Kong. They get rid of Kong, and AJ botches a springboard, but does it in a way that looks intentional, before he then rolls up BG to win. ** They go over Kurt's injury, and say the TerrorDome winner will not only replace Kurt tonight, but will get an X Title shot soon. So wait. This is full of X Division guys, most of whom don't bother Cornette. But Cornette invented the match to get back at his roster that keeps complaining. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT TNA. In the back, Rick Steiner says he's only here in support. Match #5: THE TERRORDOME MATCH This has all the X Division in it. So that means you basically have Shelley and Sabin trying to guide shit to no avail as 10 guys try to figure out how to work this fucking structure and do tons of contrived shit. The main reason this is stupid though is that the cage is so thick that you can't see shit. The best parts are MCMG double teams while other people do climbing. Kaz wins. ** In the back, JB interviews Samoa Joe. He says Kaz deserves his spot, but business is business and he'll keep his title. JB asks about Nash, and Joe says he had no idea, but he doesn't care. Match #6: Team 3D vs. Christian Cage/Rhino [Deuces Wild - Semi-Finals] Cage and Rhino are hurt from Booker's chair shots. Christian's concussion selling is great, as is his hot tag and dive. The Dudz keep going to the head to take over, and Devine sneaks down with the kendo stick. Bubba hits Rhino with it and D-Von covers to win, and Team 3D goes to the finals. **1/2 Match #7: AJ Styles/Super Eric vs. LAX w/ Hector Guerrero [Deuces Wild - Semi-Finals] AJ vs. LAX is amazing again. Super Eric continues to be at least 10x better than regular Eric Young. Some botches at the end hold this back, along with it only being like 6 minutes. AJ gets a cradle on Homicide, but Hector sneaks in to roll it over, and Homicide gets the pin, despite AJ's shoulders being up. **1/2 It is now LAX vs. Team 3D for the belts. In the back, Joe's family has nothing interesting to say. Hype video for the battle royal. Match #8: Knockouts Makeover Battle Royal This isn't much. It gets down to Gail Kim and Roxxi in the Ladder Match. which makes NO sense, since Gail won immunity to the shaving at Impact. Oh. So, because Love was the last one out before then, if Roxxi wins, then Love will get her head shaved. So then obviously, she costs Roxxi the match and Gail wins. *1/2 In the back, Joe confronts Nash, who says he was picking Steiner's brain for him earlier and says Joe can't rely on strength and force forever. Joe says he doesn't need that, and he doesn't need Nash playing these kinds of games, and says to stay in the back tonight. Match #9: LAX w/ Hector Guerrero vs. Team 3D [TNA World Tag Team Championship - Deuces Wild Finals] This is a fun match. Still not as great as their one miracle Street Fight from February 2007, but still really good. Solid control seg, good Hernandez hot tag and then DAT DIVE. Devine comes out, but Hector cuts him off. D-Von gets hit with the Border Toss, and Homicide hits a Frog Splash to finally regain the belts. **1/2 TNA SLAMMIVERSARY: JUNE 8TH! Match #10: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner w/ Rhaka Khan [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] This was good. Had its moments, most of which involved Joe mauling Kaz or Joe vs. Steiner, but then the Kaz/Steiner stuff was sort of just there. Joe beats Steiner with the Muscle Buster. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 05:32 PM Post #25 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 15th, 2008 Orlando, FL Samoa Joe is in the ring to open the show, and the roster is on the floor around him. Joe says KOTM is coming up and Cornette has picked four guys for qualifying matches, and he'll pick four at the end of the night. He says Cornette chose Roode, Storm, Tomko, and Morgan. Typical Cornette. Heel Booker T comes out to complain and threatens Joe to pick him. So they fight, and Rhino and Christian also go after Booker. Team 3D pulls Booker to safety, and they agree to a six man. In the back, JB talks to Kurt. He says he's probably not going to be allowed in KOTM, so he has a speech prepared tonight and says he hopes Karen is listening. Match #1: Kaz/Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt vs. The Rock n' Rave Infection/Johnny Devine Val and Christy are both there. This is a match, and the faces win. 3/4* Lethal asks Val to marry him at Slammiversary, and she says yes. Dutt is not pleased. In the back, Lauren talks to Joe and Nash. Nash says there was a little misunderstanding, but it's just because they see wrestling differently, and they're good. Match #2: Awesome Kong [c] w/ Raesha Saed vs. Gail Kim [TNA Knockouts Championship] This is great again. Lots of power spots, and nasty Kong offense. The babyface knockouts come out to stop Saed from interfering, but Kong still wins with the Awesome Bomb. **1/2 The Beautiful People and Christy Hemme are on the stage and laugh at Gail. Kurt Angle comes out, and he gets on the mic. He says he hopes Karen is watching, and says he knows how miserable her life has been without him, but he's giving her the chance to come back home now. He says his priorities, in order, are the TNA Title, his gold medals, his children, and then her. And if she can understand that, then she can come back home and he will forgive her failures as a wife. Awesome. Since Slammiversary is in Memphis (which it isn't at all. Wikipedia says it's in Mississippi), Eric Young is looking for Elvis. Match #3: LAX w/ Salinas & Hector Guerrero vs. Motor City Machine Guns SO AWESOME. MCMG now have their hilarious theme that sounds like an intro to a 90s teen comedy show. This is only 5 minutes, so it's just a ton of cool spots, instead of the awesome actual tag match that they could have together. Sabin gets beat with the Border Toss and then the Frog Splash. **3/4 In the back, JB interviews Booker, but he grabs the mic. He says he ain't getting the respect he deserves and said he is the most decorated wrestler in history, and says the throne still belongs to the King. ALL HAIL KING BOOKAH! For no real reason, they air a sit-down interview with Tenay and Sting, and Sting talks about his tag team with Warrior. Match #4: The Beautiful People vs. ODB/Roxxi Laveaux Not great, but hey, TBP! They win when Sky rolls up ODB after a Bicycle Kick from A. Love. * Match #5: Samoa Joe/Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Booker T/Team 3D This was at least short. Not much of note happened. Joe beats D-Von with the Powerslam, which is weird. *1/2 Brother Ray attacks Hector Guerrero at the Spanish desk, and bloodies him before LAX, Joe, Christian, and Rhino run over and he bails. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 06:24 PM Post #26 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 22nd, 2008 Orlando, FL Match #1: Homicide vs. Brother Ray D-Von and Hernandez are at ringside. This is short, so there's not much here. D-Von gets involved for the DQ. 3/4* It turns into a tag fight, but Booker T comes out and helps Team 3D lay out LAX. They beat them with chairs and the tag titles, and both Homicide and Hernandez are left bloodied. In the parking lot, Karen Angle arrives. JB says he's glad that she and Kurt are reuniting, and she says to expect the unexpected. What the fuck? If you're gonna swerve me, don't blatantly have a segment informing me that a swerve is coming. In the back, Lauren interviews ODB, and she says someone has to stop The Beautiful People, and says she's all natural. That is not something to brag about. Match #2: ODB vs. Angelina Love w/ Velvet Sky This is decent, but again very short. Love hits ODB with her own flash and Love covers for the win. 1/2* They go to cut ODB's hair too, but Roxxi runs out and makes the save. A video airs of past KOTM matches. The 2005 match continues to be the best one, and 2007's was the worse. Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash are in the ring, and Joe announces his picks. They are AJ Styles, Christian Cage, Rhino, and Booker T! Nash is upset and he says he thought Joe would pick him so that he can watch his back. Joe says with all due respect, he wants Booker T in that match so he can get his hands on him, and he wants to do it on his own. Nash says he needs to learn to listen when people give him advice. In the back, JB is with Kurt Angle and Frank Trigg in the bathroom, as they are at urinals. JESUS CHRIST, BORASH. BOUNDRIES. Angle asks Trigg if he wants to go drinking later. Trigg says maybe he should go spend the night with Karen, and Kurt says she'll be cleaning the house and doing dishes like usual, and they high five. Abyss is in a padded room and straightjacket. Good, stay there. Match #3: Robert Roode vs. Matt Morgan [KOTM Qualifying Match] Roode does what he can with Morgan, but again, he's not the carrying type. Roode tries to work the legs, but Morgan isn't selling shit, so Roode gets a pin with his feet on the ropes to win! YEAH! *1/2 Kurt Angle comes out, and invites Karen to the ring. She comes out, and Kurt says as long as she can understand where she stands in his priorities and what her wifely duties are, she can come back home. She cries and says she wants a divorce. He says he can change for her and be a good man, and she says no. He asks if she's been seeing anyone, namely AJ Styles. She says AJ's just been there for her, but there's nothing between them like that, and drops her wedding ring on the mat and leaves. In the back, Kong is spoken for by Saed. She says Kong has beaten everyone, so they will hold a $25,000 open challenge for Kong to fight fans now, if the fans sign a release form first. In the back, Lauren is with AJ and Tomko. Tomko is mad that AJ got another partner while they were gone. AJ says they didn't win the belts, and Tomko's back, so they can keep doing what they were doing. Tomko shoves him and blames AJ for losing the belts, but AJ shoves him back! He says he's tired of getting pushed around, and he's AJ Styles, damnit. Tomko says fine, and says he can be his own man then, and he leaves. ![]() More of the Tenay/Sting pretape airs. Sting reveals that Jarrett lost his wife last year and that's why he's been gone. Kong and Saed come out for the challenge, and a fan named Melissa accepts. Match #4: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Melissa [$25,000 Challenge] Awesome Kong squash. Awesome Bomb ends it. *3/4 Match #5: AJ Styles vs. Booker T [KOTM Qualifying Match] This gets 5 or so minutes, and again shows the potential for this match, especially with AJ as a babyface again, as nature intended. Booker was totally not giving a shit, so it makes the quality of this even more impressive. And as I have said repeatedly, AJ deserves a fucking award or medal for being the one guy TNA has been unable to ruin with horrible horrible booking. Tomko comes out to shove AJ off the top and into a Book End for the win. **1/4 AJ shoves Tomko, and Tomko shoves him! AJ AND TOMKO AJ AND TOMKO. Team 3D and Booker come out and AJ fights all four for a bit, but Tomko hits him with a chain around his fist. All of the heels beat on him and bloody him, and Karen Angle comes out! She tries to get them to stop, but then leaves. She comes back with Kurt Angle, and Kurt runs them off! Kurt then sees Karen helping AJ up, and she had blood on her dress and arms. Bubba and Tomko point it out and Kurt gets mad, so he destroys AJ with a chair shot to the face and beats him after shoving Karen away to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 06:51 PM Post #27 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact May 29th, 2008 Orlando, FL Team 3D and Booker T come out to the ring, and Bubba says to boo them, because they can handle it. He says they ARE bad guys, and they like it better this way. They bring down a blown up version of an AJ Styles trading card, and says that will be a collector's item soon, because AJ was beaten into retirement last week. Booker says he is royalty, and he was promised when he came in that he would be treated as such, but he was lied to, and found out that with few exceptions, the locker room is full of rodents. He says Samoa Joe, Robert Roode, and two other men will bow to the King, and he would be the King of the Mountain and the next TNA Champion. LAX and Salinas come out with hector Guerrero, and Homicide said at Slammiversary, they was looking at a 187. Christian and Rhino also come out and Christian says it looks like Booker has lost his mind again, and says he should be thankful that he isn't trying a British accent this time. He says they'll both be in KOTM after tonight, and one of them would win the belt. Samoa Joe comes out, but the babyfaces then run to the ring, and they fight with Booker and Team 3D. They should dominate because it's a 5 on 3, but it's somehow an even fight. AJ Styles comes out swinging a chair like a lunatic, and they bail out. In the back, Raesha Saed says the challenge will return tonight. Match #1: Jay Lethal/Sonjay Dutt w/ SoCal Val vs. The Rock n' Rave Infection w/ Christy Hemme This happens, it is short, and Lethal beats Rave with the Lethal Combination. 3/4* Lethal asks Sonjay Dutt to be his best man, and he accepts. In the back, Lauren tries to interview TBP, but they put a bag on her head and shove her off screen. Match #2: Roxxi Laveaux vs. Angelina Love w/ Velvet Sky This was entertaining. They got a few minutes and had some cool spots. Velvet blinds Roxxi with hair spray to the eyes and Love rolls her up to get the win. *1/2 They double team her, until Gail Kim comes out on a crutch, having hurt her knee vs. Kong, and she runs them off. In the back, Cornette yells at Borash for allowing Kong to beat up a fan last week. Wait, you let JB make the decision? He's practically autistic, you can't let him run your show. Why not give it to Don West again? Even as an unnamed replacement, he's booked better matches than Cornette. Borash says the ratings spiked for it, so Cornette then tells him it's good then as long as the release is signed. Booker and Team 3D come in to complain, and Booker says he wants this office as his dressing room and tells Cornette to do his business somewhere else, and Cornette says he's going to the ring. Cornete is in the ring now, and he books AJ vs. Angle for Slammiversary. Kevin Nash comes out and says Cornette has no control of his company anymore, and Cornette says he's never had control. Larry had control. Larry presided over the longest period of prolonged good TV that TNA has ever done, and got them the Spike TV deal, in maycabe. Fuck you, Jim Cornette. What have you done? Gotten large attendances by cramming the card full of old guys and then papered the hell out of the shows? Anyways, Nash wants to be the enforcer for KOTM and says he'll protect Cornette if he makes it happen. Cornette asks why, and Nash says people have to pay to find out, so Cornette makes it happen. Abyss is getting released from the mental hospital on the same day as Slammiversary. Match #3: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Mimi [$25,000 Challenge] Another glorious squash. Kong kills the plant with the Awesome Bomb. *1/2 In the back, Nash finally gets Booker and Team 3D out of the office with a baseball bat. Match #4: Rhino vs. James Storm w/ Jackie Moore [KOTM Qualifying Match] Storm again gets something good out of Rhino, but it was probably too much to ask from TNA to get TWO new faces in the main event picture in KOTM. I'll settle for Roode being in there, I guess. Anyways, they have a good little brawl for 4-5 minutes and Rhino wins with the Gore. **1/4 Match #4: Christian Cage vs. Tomko [KOTM Qualifying Match] Great Christian babyface performance. This could have been great as a long-ish PPV match, but it's TNA, so nope, it's a 5 minute Impact match. Christian wins with the Unprettier. **1/2 In the back, JB says AJ will talk to Karen in the ring to end the show. Great! Karen Angle comes out first, and AJ never comes out when his music hits. In the back, Kurt Angle has beaten down AJ. Kurt Angle comes to the ring and yells at Karen. He calls her a two timing slut and demands that she admits to the world that she cheated on him with AJ like a prostitute. Kurt calls her a whore too, so she slaps him. Kurt goes to attack, but AJ comes back out, and he attacks Kurt. Tomko, Team 3D, and Booker T come out to attack AJ. Christian Cage is the only one to save, but is also beaten out. I get that Cage and AJ have been dicks for most of the last 18 months, but with their issues, you'd think Joe or Rhino or LAX would help. Bad friends. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 07:32 PM Post #28 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 5th, 2008 Orlando, FL Match #1: Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Booker T/Robert Roode Roode and Booker do not get along, but this at least gets like 7 minutes. TNA's shows have improved a lot since Sacrifice. They're giving matches time for the most part, and not overcrowding shows with pointless bullshit (as in the main event angles get the most time), but having typed that, I probably cursed it. Team 3D comes out to attack Cage and Rhino when they make their comeback for the DQ. ** They get a table, but AJ Styles runs out to save, and they run off the heels. AJ gets on the mic, and he says he knows he's screwed things up with Christian, but he'd like that to change. He says as for Kurt Angle, he's not just out to beat him at Slammiversary, and he's coming to hurt him and embarrass him! He then challenges Kurt's new butt buddy Tomko tonight. Cornette comes out and makes it official and makes Kevin Nash the outside enforcer. In the back, JB asks Joe if he trusts Nash to be the enforcer. Joe says it doesn't matter, because he trusts himself to retain the title no matter what. He says it doesn't matter why Nash is enforcer, because he'll win King of the Mountain before anything has a chance to go wrong. In the back, Lauren tries to interview TBP. They put a bag on her head again and Velvet says anyone can look, but nobody gets to touch. They leave, and Kong and Raesha come in, and Saed says Kong demands another victim tonight, and it is open to more than just fans now, and invites any woman in wrestling to try Kong. Match #2: ODB vs. Velvet Sky w/ Angelina Love Sky is awesome as essentially a manager forced to wrestle, constantly stalling and stooging. ODB wins with a Running Powerslam. *1/2 They attack ODB post-match, but Gail runs out to save. Then fucking Mickie Knuckles comes out and lays out Gail and ODB and leaves with The Beautiful People. HORRIBLE. Eric Young still cannot find Elvis. More of the Tenay/Sting interview. Sting says Ric Flair went out in style (lol), and it's got him toying with the idea too. Match #3: Kaz vs. Chris Sabin vs. Johnny Devine vs. Curry Man vs. Jimmy Rave [King of the Mountain Match] The winner gets a World Title shot next week. And hey, if your PPV is built around this one gimmick match, it's totally a great idea to give one away on free TV. Horrible. Anyways, they try to rush it in like 6 minutes, and the result is this disgusting convoluted train wreck. Kaz wins again. 45/Shit Match #4: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Daffney [$25,000 Challenge] Another fantastic squash. Awesome Bomb ends it. *1/2 A video airs on KOTM, highlighting how no champion has retained the title in KOTM. ABYSS. In the back, Joe storms in and asks what the hell Nash is doing at Slammiversary. Nash says he's protecting his investment, and says Joe is too paranoid, and it'll cost him the belt. Nash hands Joe his bat, and turns around. He says if he's that worried about him in KOTM, he can take him out now, and Joe throws it down. He says if he ever does come for Nash, he won't need a bat and he won't need a free shot. Video airs of Lethal's bachelor party. Dutt says the groomsmen will be George Steele, Koko B. Ware, and Kamala. Dutt says they need a stripper too, and Kip James comes in as the clip ends. Ewwwwwwwww. Match #5: LAX/Matt Morgan vs. James Storm/Kip James/Lance Hoyt Hector, Salinas, Jackie, and Christy are all there. LAX and Storm do what they can, but it's not really happening tonight, due to Morgan being in for like 75% of the match and it being 3 minutes long. He wins with the Bicycle Kick on Hoyt. 3/4* A video face-off airs between Kurt and Karen Angle. Lol? Kurt says he gave her everything and she is ungrateful. Karen says she is grateful, but that doesn't change that all she wants is Kurt to be there for her and the children, and says Kurt loves his career more than her. Kurt asks what's wrong with that, and asks why she was screwing around with AJ. She denies it, and Kurt says he'll break every bone in AJ's body on Sunday until he admits it. In the back, JB asks AJ about Karen, and he again says nothing happened. JB is still a piece of shit and says nobody believes that. He says Kurt has a twisted imagination, and he's gone insane after losing the title because he can't beat Samoa Joe, but Kurt will find out at Slammiversary that he can't beat AJ Styles either. Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Tomko [Special Enforcer: Kevin Nash] This also doesn't get the time it deserves, only getting like 7 minutes, but is still great. AJ is the best he's looked since the LAX feud, since he gets to do his dive, be a fired up babyface, and take gigantic bumps. Tomko is good, but this is totally the AJ show. Tomko works the arm well. AJ's selling is good. Nash cuts off Roode and Booker interference, and AJ hits the Pele and a Frog Splash to win. **3/4 SHOW. ENDING. BRAWL. In which Nash accidentally hits Joe with a chair. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 10:03 PM Post #29 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY ![]() TNA SLAMMIVERSARY JUNE 8TH, 2008 SOUTHAVEN, MS Match #1: Petey Williams [c] w/ Scott Steiner & Rhaka Khan vs. Kaz ["TNA X Division Championship"] Good lord, this sucked. And it got 15 minutes! Lots of botched stuff, contrived stuff, miscommunication, and cliche exchanges. Every bad thing about the X Division and about their entire generation is in this match. Petey works the arm, Kaz doesn't sell. They do stuff. Steiner hits Kaz with the pipe from the floor for the win. * They keep beating on him, until Abyss returns to save. He then carries Kaz to the back. Odd. Eric Young comes out and says Elvis is c -- you know what? No. In the back, JB talks to Kevin Nash. He says this is about money. He says he guesses he and Joe are friends, but Joe is an investment with how much he's helped him. Match #2: Gail Kim/ODB/Roxxi vs. The Beautiful People/Moose Roxxi no longer gets a last name. This was enjoyable, and better than expected, since they get like 10 minutes. The work on Gail's knee isn't amazing, but it's something going on besides just generic womens stuff, so they get props for that. They build well to the ODB vs. Mickie hyper dyke showdown of power at the end, and ODB beats Moose with the Running Powerslam. **1/4 A Rhino highlight video airs. In the back, Lauren talks to Rhino. He complains about his life. Hype video for the tag title match. Match #3: LAX [c] w/ Salinas & Hector Guerrero vs. Team 3D [TNA World Tag Team Championship] Again, they have a good match. Bubba is the greatest bully here, constantly yelling "TOO SMALL" at Homicide. Hernandez hits DAT DIVE, and Homicide immediately follows with the Tope Con Hilo. This is one of those shitty crowd that doesn't want to boo Team 3D, so it took a while for them to get into it. They spend half the match chanting for tables, so that didn't help. This is good, but feels like a ceiling for a Team 3D straight tag match in 2008. Inventive finish though, as they wait for Hernandez to get up for the 3D, and Homicide schoolboys Bubba for the win. **3/4 A video airs on Robert Roode. In the back, Lauren talks to Roode. He says he's never been in KOTM, but neither has Rhino or Booker T. He says he's been here for 4 years now, and he's not a rookie. He says the talking stop tonight, and he will prove that he's a main eventer for real, and when he wins the title, he will prove that it pays to be Roode. Match #4: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Serena Deeb [$25,000 Challenge] Great Kong squash. Serena got more time than the others so far, but still got killed. This time, Kong debuts the Implant Buster to beat her. *3/4 Saed calls for another, and a fan named Rosie steps up. Match #5: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Rosie [$25,000 Challenge] This is shorter, but much more violent. Kong wins with the Awesome Bomb. ** Eric Young brings out Elvis, but Kong beats the shit out of him, and kills Elvis with the Awesome Bomb. Okay, that was great. Fair enough, TNA. A video airs on Christian Cage. In the back, Lauren talks to Christian. He says he's been in KOTM last year and in 2006, so he has a pretty good feel for how this works, more than anyone in the match. He says he has yet to actually lose the TNA Title, since he lost it twice in King of the Mountain matches, but he thinks this third time will do the trick. Hey, it's time for the wedding. Fuck it. Jake Roberts being there was the best, especially when Lethal yelled not to let him in the reception, and George Steele trying to pet Val and yelling "NICE". They both come out, and Sonjay Dutt says he is in love with Val. He then attacks Lethal with wedding props, and the groomsmen and Jake run off Dutt with the snake. That sure happened. A video airs on Booker T. In the back, JB talks to Booker T. He says TNA begged him to sign, and he's back to the King accent again. God damnit. It's not the same without every single piece (crown, throne, pyro, Sharmell, Regal, JBL commentary). He says he is the reason for TNA's success, but he has been overlooked. Hype video for AJ/Angle. Match #6: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle w/ Tomko Thius is structurally flawed given the actual feud, since they start on the mat, but AJ brings out the best Angle matwork since Angle fought Eddie Guerrero early on. AJ then also brings the logic, not letting Kurt go amateur style on the mat, but forcing him into more modern fast paced basic stuff. AJ's bumping and selling carries the control seg. It becomes a Kurt Angle Match in the finishing run, but AJ deserves a ton of credit for holding that off as long as humanly possible. At this point, there's so much hype for Angle's career that people won't reign him in like they need to, a lot like post-2004 Shawn Michaels, and the matches suffer as a result. Karen comes out to stop Kurt from using a chair, and it allows AJ to win with the Styles Clash. **3/4 A video airs on Samoa Joe. In the back, Lauren interviews Samoa Joe. Joe says this title means power, and he has the power to change things with this belt. He says this used to be man vs. man, and it was just competition, and he misses that. Joe says he wants new challengers, just like the fans do. He says he's not the fastest or the strongest, but nobody fights harder than Samoa Joe. Match #7: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Christian Cage vs. Booker T vs. Robert Roode vs. Rhino [TNA World Heavyweight Championship - King of the Mountain - Special Enforcer: Kevin Nash] I didn't watch the 2009 version, so this was the last possible KOTM match that could unseat 2005's version, but nope. Too much blatant time killing and not enough super great spots or storytelling to get called a great match. Booker hits Nash with the belt on the floor, so Nash gets in and Powerbombs him. The match gets down to Joe vs. Roode, and Joe hits the Muscle Buster, and hangs the belt to retain the belt and be the first man to do so in KOTM. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 18 2012, 11:00 PM Post #30 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 12th, 2008 Orlando, FL Match #1: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Kaz [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] This was very good for a Kaz match, because Joe got something good out of Kaz, even though he's not really Samoa Joe anymore. Joe wins with the Muscle Buster. **1/4 Booker T comes onto the stage, and he congratulates Joe on another title defense. He says he wouldn't be champion now if not for Kevin Nash laying his hands on him in that match. He says his dressing room door would be open all night, and he wants Joe to show him just what kind of champion he is. In the back, Lauren interviews Kurt. He says she's only there because TNA likes to change up blond interviewers every half year or so. He says TNA says he can't lay his hands on Karen for costing him that match last Sunday, but he's put a hit out on Karen's head, and there's a roster of women who'd be more than happy to get a nice bonus. THE WORLD FUCKING X CUP IS HERE SHIT YEAH! In the back, Team International of Sheik Abdul Bashir (Daivari), Doug Williams, Alex Koslov, and Tyson Dux is there. They say Team Mexico, Team Japan, and Team TNA won't beat them, and somehow, Daivari is captain. Doug fucking Williams though. Plus, Dux has been in the X Cup before, and he probably could have gotten Coach D'Amore back for a month for this, which would be nice. Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Speed Muscle This is a preview match, and not part of the X Cup. BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD, WHAT A SPOTFEST. Speed Muscle is representing Team Japan, and they are Doi and Yoshino from Dragon Gate. I shit on DG a lot for becoming a parody of itself and 2008 is when the decline began. In part, it began because they split up a white hot unit like Doi and Yoshino and had them become singles main eventers, despite them being entirely incomplete as singles wrestlers and just goddamned incredible together. Yoshino is the fastest motherfucker ever, and the Speed Muscle double teams are still jawdropping 4 years after the fact. Tons of cool shit for 7 minutes and the AS/CS Rush beats Yoshino. ***1/4 In the back, JB congratulates Karen on being on the roster now. He asks about the hit, and she says Kurt needs to rethink this. The Beautiful People come over, and AJ Styles cuts them off. He tells them to go tell Kurt Angle that anyone will have to go through him first. In the back, Lauren asks Nash about him saving Joe's belt, but Joe comes over and says they'll do this in the ring. Coming back, Joe and Nash are in the ring. Nash says Joe needs to thank him, and Joe says Nash should be thanking him for letting him come along for the ride. Nash says maybe Joe can't beat Booker T and he's protecting his investment. He says Booker knows this game is 90% mental like he's been trying to tell Joe, and he's already in Joe's head. Joe says that doesn't matter, because when he gets Booker T in the ring for this belt, he's going to kick his head off his shoulders, and Joe leaves. In the back, Angle is talking to Team Steiner, specifically Rhaka, since I guess this is how they hooked up for rough animal sex. Steiner shuts the door on JB. Match #3: LAX [c] w/ Hector Guerrero vs. Beer Money w/ Jackie Moore [TNA World Tag Team Championship] Since this is when the tag team begins, I will be calling them by their name finally. This is pretty good, and ALSO gets time! Holy shit! I mean, the booking still largely sucks and builds to matches nobody would pay to see in 2008, but TNA is better right now than it's been since October 2006. Good story as Beer Money initially gets smoked due to lack of experience, but then LAX gets too cocky about this, and falls to some cheating. Great bullshit finish as Jackie distracts the ref while Storm ties a belt around his boot, with the belt buckle on bottom. He Superkicks Hernandez with the belt buckle AND ROODE COVERS TO WIN THE TITLES! YEAH! Hector Guerrero points out the belt though, and the ref sees a replay, AND RESTARTS THE MATCH! Only goes another minute or so, and Hernandez catches Storm off the top and hits a Liger Bomb to win. More of an angle than a great match, but the match was still really good. **3/4 Roode and Storm are pissed, and they attack LAX post-match. They beat them with chair shots, and Hector gets some too. They all handcuff LAX and Hector to the ropes, and each man gets a belt, and they start whipping the shit out of LAX with the belts before referees come down to make them leave. Match #4: Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky This was not much, and Gail wins with the Happy Ending. 3/4* Gail puts a brown bag on Sky's head in revenge. In the back, Lauren interviews Roode and Storm. Roode says LAX got what they deserved for stealing from them, and he dares them to retaliate, and Storm says they want them to come back at them. Storm says they will be the champions in the end, because they have the two things that make the world go round. BEER! MONEY! FUCK YES. BEST IMPACT IN FOREVER. Match #5: Alex Koslov vs. Curry Man This is another preview and is good, just obviously not as good as the previous one. Koslov is super super impressive and hits a Springboard Splash to win. ** In the back, JB is with Booker T. Samoa Joe comes in. He says he's never turned down a challenge and he won't start now, and he accepts Booker T's challenge, and they shake hands. Booker T says he's making it too easy, but he can respect that. Booker says Victory Road is in his hometown of Houston, TX, and he won't be letting anybody down. Booker says there will be no hard feelings, and Joe says there won't be. Before his match, Dutt dedicates it to SoCal Val. Match #6: Sonjay Dutt vs. Consequences Creed This is a showcase for Dutt, so that sucked. 3/4* Lethal comes out to attack Dutt, and SoCal Val cheers him on. That idiot Frank Trigg comes out to do commentary on the main event. Match #7: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle [Lumberjack Match] This sucked, as all Lumberjack Matches do. AJ has it won, but a brawl breaks out on the floor, and Bubba low blows AJ, allowing Angle to hit the Angle Slam to win. *3/4 Angle and Team 3D attack AJ, Christian, and some other faces. Abyss, now in a white jumpsuit again, runs out and cleans house of the heels. He chases most of them to the back. Angle keeps beating on AJ in the ring, and Karen Angle comes out to stop it. Karen dares Kurt to hit her, BUT FUCKING AWESOME KONG IS HERE AND KILLS KAREN WITH THE AWESOME BOMB! THAT RULED. OH MY GOD, AJ VS. KONG IS GOING TO RULE. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 19 2012, 02:05 PM Post #31 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 19th, 2008 Orlando, FL Jay Lethal is out on the lot and challenges Dutt to fight him. Match #1: Booker T vs. BG James Decent Booker showcase going into the title match. He wins with the Scissors Kick. *1/4 In the back, JB interviews Samoa Joe. Nash comes in and again says Joe is too intense and paranoid. Joe says everyone says he can't beat Booker T, but he doesn't think Nash can either, so Nash says he'll fight Booker next week. Match #2: Motor City Machine Guns [TNA] vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir/Tyson Dux [INTERNATIONAL] [World X Cup] This is for one point. MCMG get the best out of Dux, since he's an average guy with cool offense. Daivari is still totally the worst guy. MCMG win with the AS/CS Rush on Dux. ** TEAM TNA: 1 TEAM JAPAN: 0 TEAM MEXICO: 0 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 0 Tenay interviews Karen Angle via satellite. She says she won't stay away like Kurt wants, and she'll be there next week. Jim Cornette is in the ring with a contract, and says LAX has challenged Roode and Storm to a Fans Revenge Lumberjack Strap Match at Victory Road, and he has the contract here. I do not understand TNA's loyalty to this terrible match type. Just let it be a normal strap match, they did the angle to make it logical last week. The managers of Hector, Salinas, and Jackie come out to sign the contracts for whatever reason. They do, and Jackie insults Salinas' clearly fake tits, and they fight, so Cornette books a match. God damnit. Match #3: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Taylor [$25,000 Challenge] This is the future Taylor Wilde, and as such, she puts up the biggest fight yet. Kong is awesome at selling the surprise while also gradually building up the eventual bump off of her feet. Which does happen, but then Kong cuts off the momentum with a Rolling Backfist, and then the Awesome Bomb wins. This booking did what it was supposed to do for once, which is using a fan challenge to debut an underdog and get him/her over immediately with the fans. Good work, TNA. **1/4 In the back, JB is with Dutt. He says as a Guru, he is about nonviolence, and just because he loves Val does not mean he will fight Lethal. JB tells him to go tell Jay Lethal that. Match #4: Kaz vs. Alex Koslov This is another preview match, which is weird since the tournament has already started. They have some decent spots, and since Koslov works midcards in Mexico and worked PWG undercards, he's used to getting the best from generic flippy dudes with a questionable grasp of pro wrestling psychology and storytelling. And this being TNA, of course he loses after that, and jobs to the Flux Capacitor. ** Horrible segment to put over Matt Morgan. Telling his life story will not get him over. Dutt goes to Lethal, but he attacks him and they fight. Match #5: Jackie Moore vs. Salinas Weirdly, there was no interference at all. This was a squash by Jackie and she wins with a shitty Front Guillotine. 1/2* JAckie whips Salinas post-match. Match #6: Christian Cage/AJ Styles vs. Team 3D This was a ton of fun. AJ and Christian are so awesome as a babyface team, since they're the two best top level faces in the company. AJ hits his amazing dive, and then is a wonderful face in peril. God, I've missed babyface AJ Styles. He was a fine heel and all, but oh my god, as a babyface, he is pretty easily the best guy in the company (now that Joe has mostly fallen off). Anyways, good basic 3D cheating. Realyl fucking incredible finishing run. Killer AJ and Christian offense, good counters, etc. They are waiting for AJ to turn for the 3D, BUT AJ HITS D-VON WITH A PELE INSTEAD! Christian lowbridges Bubba out, and AJ hits D-Von with the Phenomenon DDT to win. *** Frank Trigg comes out to distract AJ, and Kurt Angle lays him out from behind with a chair. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 19 2012, 02:44 PM Post #32 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact June 26th, 2008 Orlando, FL In the parking lot, Kurt Angle is waiting for Karen. Match #1: AJ Styles vs. Consequences Creed Good AJ showcase match. Creed did stuff well and didn't shit the bed. AJ hits the Styles Clash to win. ** In the parking lot after the break, AJ and Kurt are being held apart and Karen arrives. She calms AJ down, and Karen says she's here to do her job. Which is......nobody ever asks that question. Match #2: Christian Cage vs. Brother Ray This is a match. Doesn't go more than 2 or 3 minutes before Devine comes down and hands Bubba a kendo stick, and he hits Christian with it for a DQ. *1/2 D-Von and Tomko come out with a shoddy looking glass table, and Christian eats a Superbomb through the table. EMTs stretcher Christian out. In the back, JB interviews Nash as he gets ready and asks if he just wanted to prove he has a little diesel left in the tank. Nash says he wants to set an example for Joe, and Joe comes in, and asks if he's supposed to learn something from this. Nash says he's earned his stripes, and he doesn't have to do jumping jacks every time he has a match. Joe says he'll be ringside, and maybe he will learn something. Match #3: Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed vs. Danielle [$25,000 Challenge] Another sensational Kong squash. *1/2 Taylor is in the front row and yells at Kong to fight her again. Kong shoves her, so she hops the railing. They are held back, and Cornette comes out. He says they should talk backstage, and she says she wants another shot at Kong. Frank fucking Trigg comes out to waste more airtime, and says he doesn't like AJ Styles and how he threatened him last week, so he calls him out to fight. AJ comes out, but once he does, Kurt and TBP go into Karen's room in the back. They attack her and put the paper bag on her head, so AJ goes to the back to save, but they are gone. Match #4: Speed Muscle [Japan] vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero [Mexico] [World X Cup] Enjoyable spotfest. Team International watches on the stage. Tons of awesome Speed Muscle offense again. The Mexicans are not as insanely spectacular as Doi and Yoshino, but they have some nice things and do not embarrass themselves like Bashir did last week. UG beats Yoshino with a Reverse Superplex. **3/4 In the back, Lauren interviews Lethal and Val, and she says maybe they should postpone the wedding now. Sonjay Dutt comes out with children to collect money for the Save SoCal Val fund. She comes out to yell at him, and slaps him, but Jay Lethal runs out and brawls with Dutt and chases him off. I hate this all. In the back, Booker T gives JB and the camera a tour of his new locker room, and it iis very big. There is a picture on the wall of he and Ali, and JB asks if that's the Great One. Booker T says it is, and that Ali is also in the picture. He says Kevin Nash is a punk, and he has always been a punk and jealous of his success, so he will bust his punk ass tonight. Matt Morgan vignettes. In the back, Bubba tells Kurt he'll fix him up with a new girl next week. Samoa Joe comes out to sit ringside for the main event as promised. Match #5: Booker T vs. Kevin Nash [No DQ] This is not much. I mean, it's Booker vs. Nash in 2008, so that's to be expected a little bit. The unannounced stip is now clearly just there to facilitate the ending. Booker cheap shots Joe with a chair on the floor. Joe gets in and attacks Booker. He goes for a kick, but Booker moves and Joe hits Nash. Booker low blows Joe, and covers Nash to win. *1/2 Nash gets up, and he and Joe fight. They get held apart, and Booker laughs on the stage. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 19 2012, 02:48 PM Post #33 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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Top 25 Matches of the Half-Year: 1. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Speed Muscle, Impact (June 12th) 2. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Christian Cage/Rhino, Impact (April 24th) 3. Team 3D vs. AJ Styles/Christian Cage, Impact (June 19th) 4. Motor City Machine Guns vs. LAX vs. The Rock n' Rave Infection, Destination X (March 9th) 5. Gail Kim [c] vs. Awesome Kong, Final Resolution (January 6th) 6. Gail Kim [c] vs. Awesome Kong, Impact (January 10th) 7. AJ Styles/Tomko [c] vs. Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash, Final Resolution (January 6th) 8. AJ Styles vs. Tomko, Impact (June 5th) 9. Samoa Joe [c] vs. Kurt Angle, Impact (April 24th) 10. LAX [c] vs. Beer Money, Impact (June 12th) 11. Samoa Joe/Christian Cage/Kevin Nash vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles/Tomko, Destination X (March 9th) 12. Motor City Machine Guns/Jay Lethal vs. Team 3D/Johnny Devine, Final Resolution (January 6th) 13. Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage vs. AJ Styles, Impact (January 17th) 14. AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle, Slammiversary (June 8th) 15. Team 3D/Johnny Devine [c] vs. Motor City Machine Guns/Jay Lethal, Against All Odds (February 10th) 16. Booker T vs. Robert Roode, Against All Odds (February 10th) 17. LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns, Impact (May 15th) 18. Speed Muscle vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero, Impact (June 26th) 19. Eric Young [c] vs. James Storm, Against All Odds (February 10th) 20. LAX [c] vs. Team 3D, Slammiversary (June 8th) 21. LAX vs. The Rock n’ Rave Infection, Final Resolution (January 6th) 22. Kurt Angle [c] vs. Samoa Joe, Lockdown (April 13th) 23. Awesome Kong [c] vs. Gail Kim vs. ODB, Destination X (March 9th) 24. Samoa Joe [c] vs. Kaz vs. Scott Steiner, Sacrifice (May 11th) 25. Christian Cage/Sting/Rhino/Kevin Nash/Matt Morgan vs. Tomko/AJ Styles/James Storm/Team 3D, Lockdown (April 13th) Wrestler of the Half-Year: AJ Styles (45 Points) Tag Team of the Half-Year: MCMG/LAX (24 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 19 2012, 04:49 PM Post #34 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact July 3rd, 2008 Orlando, FL AJ Styles and Karen Angle come out to open the show, and AJ gets on the mic. He says Karen shouldn't have to come to work in fear, and if Angle wants a war, he's got one, and he calls him out. Team 3D comes out instead and says Kurt is off nailing hot broads, and Bubba says AJ started this by sleeping with another man's wife and says paybacks are a bitch. He calls Karen a whore anyways, so AJ hits him. They beat on him in a 2 on 1 and bring out the table, but Rhino runs out to make the save! Team 3D bails, and Rhino challenges them and Angle to fight he, Christian, and AJ in Full Metal Mayhem at Victory Road. A recap airs of the Beer Money/LAX stuff. Match #1: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Beer Money w/ Jackie Moore YES! They had a great PPV title match at some point in 2008/9 and then the series in 2010, but this is still a really underutilized pairing. In old TNA, they would have had a years long rivalry on the level of AMW/XXX or AMW/Naturals, with tons of amazing matches all the time. Anyways, the chemistry is already there. This is your classic babyface high flying team vs. basic heel team. Modern version of Brainbusters vs. The Rockers, I guess. Only 4 minutes, but really good stuff. Great cut offs, bumping, offense, etc. JAckie accidentally spits beer in Storm's face and Shelley rolls him up to win. **1/2 Beer Money beats them down post-match, and they handcuff them to the ropes. They get leather straps, and they start beating the shit out of Shelley and Sabin. Referees try to stop it, so they hit the referees too! They go nuts, and hit camera men, Penzer, Mike and Don, and some security too. Jim Cornette comes out and threatens to fire them if they don't stop. They stop at that, and Cornette books them vs. Joe and Nash in the main event! In a pretape, Angle is on a blind date with a tranny and talks about he like to manhandle dudes. JB points out the adam's apple, and Kurt bails. Why is JB there? Match #2: Moose vs. Roxxi Laveaux This happens. Knuckles wins with a Butterfly DDT. 3/4* In the back, Cornette gets Nash to team with Joe and says he gets paid more for a match tonight, so Nash is in. He tells Cornette that he'll have no luck telling Joe though. In the back, Cornette gets Joe to agree to it and says TNA needs this match done, so he has to do it or he'll strip him of the belt. Joe says if he wants a tag team crippled, then this is on Cornette's head. CROSS THE LINE. Kurt is on another blind date. Fuck this. Match #3: Alex Koslov [INTERNATIONAL] vs Rey Bucanero [MEXICO] [World X Cup] This was a fun spotfest, since they're both from CMLL and probably used to working together. Koslov is so goddamned amazing. Shame it only got like 3 minutes though. Bucanero wins with a Twisting Senton Bomb off the top. ** TEAM MEXICO: 3 TEAM TNA: 1 TEAM JAPAN: 0 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 0 In the back, Kurt Angle arrives and is mad about how bad his dates were. Kurt Angle gets to the ring and calls out Team 3D to explain their bad choices. They come out and Bubba talks about the challenge Rhino laid out. They bring out a final rat for Kurt, but he says he's done with women and berates her. He brings out TBP to kill her, and Karen Angle comes out to attack Angelina and Velvet. She slaps Kurt and they surround her, but Rhino, AJ, Gail, and ODB come out to save. This storyline got bad in a hurry. In the back, Booker T cuts another promo in which he drifts in and out of his King Booker accent. He says he has everything in the world except for the World Heavyweight Championship, and at Victory Road, he would have that too. MATT MORGAN ROUGH CUT. STILL WON'T GET HIM OVER. GIVE IT UP, CORNETTE. YOU HAVE THE WORST TASTE. Match #4: Curry Man [TNA] vs. Milano Collection AT [JAPAN] [World X Cup] OH SHIT YEAH MILANO COLLECTION AT! This was also really fun, but much too short. AT gets a low blow and the Twisting Lionsault to win. ** TEAM MEXICO: 3 TEAM JAPAN: 2 TEAM TNA: 1 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 0 In the back, Lauren is with Beer Money. Roode says it's a shame they had to hurt all these innocent people had to get hurt to get them some attention. He says LAX is in for the beating of a lifetime in Houston. Storm says he used to steal booze from his dad's liquor cabinet and he got whipped. He says LAX didn't learn and TNA didn't learn, so they'll just have to get them some bigger belts, and Roode says the tag titles are just their size. Storm says he's got the beer and Roode says he's got the money. SORREH ABOUT YO DAMN LUCK. Match #5: Taylor Wilde vs. Raesha Saed w/ Awesome Kong DW says if Taylor wins, she gets a shot at Kong for the belt and the money. This is solid. Taylor is nothing to write home about, but she is competent. Has a good comeback, and is crisp on this night. Taylor wins with a German Suplex. *3/4 CROSS THE LINE. Match #6: Samoa Joe/Kevin Nash vs. Beer Money w/ Jackie Moore This was only 5-6 minutes, so it wasn't as great as it could have been, but it was still good. Structuring was off, as Joe should have been the one to get the hot tag and kill everyone, since he's the top guy and Nash is booked as an old part time guy. Joe gets back in and beats Roode with the Muscle Buster. **1/4 Joe and Nash are not happy with each other, and Sting is hanging out in the rafters. Son of a bitch. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 19 2012, 06:58 PM Post #35 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong, Since 1/10/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA Impact July 10th, 2008 Orlando, FL In the parking lot, Homicide and Robert Roode are fighting! It's a pretty great fight, and James Storm runs over, and attacks Homicide. They stomp on him, and Storm handcuffs Homicide's hands behind his back. They take him through the back and into the ring, and they beat him into the ring. They whip him brutally with leather straps, and Roode gets a chair. He hits him in the face with it to bust him open. Storm gets the beer bottle out, and Hernandez runs out to save! He fights off Beer Money, and Hector and Salinas come out to help Homicide get free. Hernandez gets a strap and whips at Storm and Roode until they leave. This is the best build to a TNA match in at least a year and a half since either Angle/Joe I, or the LAX/AJ & Daniels blowoff. Sting is in the rafters again. A CROSS THE LINE~ video airs on Robert Roode. I haven't covered these because they're mostly fluff pieces, but this is too hilarious not to cover, as the video talks about how Roode will be the next World Champion and how that is his only focus, airing literally right after a huge angle with him and the Tag Titles. Match #1: Doug Williams [INTERNATIONAL] vs. Masato Yoshino [JAPAN] [Super X Cup] Really awesome styles clash. They do stuff for 3-4 minutes and Doug wins with the Chaos Theory. ** TEAM MEXICO: 3 TEAM JAPAN: 2 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 2 TEAM TNA: 1 In the back, Sonjay Dutt is leading a yoga class with Lauren and Petey Williams and his random child servants. He checks out Lauren as he does so. Lethal comes over and attacks Dutt, but he hides behind children and chants "Set Val Free!" over and over. MORE MATT MORGAN SHIT. Match #2: Matt Morgan/Eric Young/BG James vs. Petey Williams/Kip James/Tomko [Falls Count Anywhere] Well, okay. I won't say this was any good. Tomko kills BG with the Lariat to win after a few minutes. 3/4* Abyss comes out to run off heels again. He gets Petey's lead pipe, but throws it down because he is rehabilitated from violence or something. Match #3: Awesome Kong [c] w/ Raesha Saed vs. Taylor Wilde [TNA Knockouts Championship - $25,000 Challenge] This was really good again. Nasty nasty beating from Kong, and the build to the eventual bump is awesome. Kong shuts down the comeback and goes for the Awesome Bomb, BUT TAYLOR COUNTERS INTO A SUNSET FLIP FOR THE PIN HOLY SHIT! **1/2 In the back, JB interviews her and she says this is the greatest night of her life. Kaz says words. Match #4: Kaz [TNA] vs. Ultimo Guerrero [MEXICO] [World X Cup] If Kaz loses, TNA is done, which they deserve for picking Kaz as captain. Kaz has a maycabe knee injury, but wins with a roll up to save TNA's chances. *3/4 TEAM TNA: 3 TEAM MEXICO: 3 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 2 TEAM JAPAN: 2 A Kong/Taylor rematch is announced for Victory Road. Booker T comes out, and calls the distinguished TNA Champion down to the ring. Joe comes out and Booker admits that he respects him and hasn't acted that way, so he's here to apologize. He says he's sorry for what he will do to him at Victory Road. He says Joe hasn't beaten anyone and says he's beaten men like Rick Martel, Steve Austin, and Chris Jericho, and offers a handshake. Joe says Booker will regret this, and shakes his hand. Sting shows up and asks the crowd who they think will win, and they chant for Joe. Sting says he'll be at Victory Road. You fucking spotlight hog, this doesn't involve you even a little bit. Match #5: AJ Styles/Gail Kim/ODB vs. Kurt Angle/The Beautiful People Frank Trigg and Karen Angle are at ringside with their people. Gail beats Velvet. *1/4 SHOW. ENDING. BRAWL. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 20 2012, 07:25 PM Post #36 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde, Since 7/10/2008 ![]() TNA VICTORY ROAD 2008 JULY 13TH, 2008 HOUSTON, TX Match #1: Motor City Machine Guns/Curry Man vs. Masato Yoshino/Milano Collection AT/Puma vs. Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno vs. Doug Williams/Alex Koslov/Tyson Dux [World X Cup - Elimination Match] Winning team gets 3 points, runner up gets 2, and second runner up gets 1. Puma has worked his way up from Team Mexico to Team Japan from 2006 to 2008. Good for him. There's enough good wrestlers here to make it work, and more importantly, no outright bad ones to drag it down. Tons of cool Yoshino spots, MCMG teamwork, inventive lucha stuff, etc. Tons, I mean TONS, of amazing dives from everyone. Bucanero eliminates Dux with a Wheelbarrow Driver early, and that's another great thing here, that they get it down to the guys people really want to see fight, mostly. Puma is out next after an Angel's Wings from Averno. Sabin/Milano have a great run and Sabin eliminates him with the Cradle Shock. Yoshino has a great great run against everyone after this and gets rid of Averno with a La Mistica into an Oklahoma Roll. Koslov FINALLY gets in and is awesome. Ultimo Guerrero finally gets rid of Curry Man with a Superbomb. They then isolate Doug and as Rey holds him on his knees on the mat, Ultimo hits a Corkscrew Senton Bomb to eliminate him too. I didn't expect it, but the focus on teamwork here is fantastic. Team Mexico has dominated because of it, the Guns are still alive because of it. Team International had none, so Koslov is the only one left, and Yoshino is separated from his usual partner, so most of Team Japan also lost. Koslov is able to get Guerrero all alone, AND MAKES HIM TAP TO THE RED SCARE! AWESOME! I did not expect that at all. The teamwork continues, and the AS/CS Rush eliminates Bucanero AND MEXICO IS OUT! Koslov has more great shit and rolls up Sabin in the ropes to eliminate him. Yoshino gets rid of Koslov with the Lightning Spiral and Sol Naciente, AND IT'S SHELLEY AND YOSHINO! FUCK YEAH! Tons of big moves and Shelley wins with the Air Raid Crash. ***1/4 TNA gets 3, Japan gets 2, and International gets 1. TEAM TNA: 6 TEAM JAPAN: 4 TEAM INTERNATIONAL: 4 TEAM MEXICO: 3 They say there will be Ultimate X later with Kaz, Doi, Daivari, and Volador, and it will be for 5 points. A worthless time-killing segment airs with Booker T giving a tour of his house, drifting in an out of the King Booker accent. Match #2: Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love w/ Velvet Sky This was good. Not overwhelmingly great, but they got 6 minutes and had an average match. Gail wins with the Happy Ending. ** Hype video for Dutt/Lethal. Match #3: Jay Lethal w/ SoCal Val vs. Sonjay Dutt This happens. Dutt keeps pleading Val to help, and she almost does. Val tries to stop the fighting, but it allows Dutt to get a roll up with the ropes to win. **1/4 Hype video for the tag title match. Match #4: LAX [c] vs. Beer Money [TNA World Tag Team Championship - Fans Revenge Lumberstrap Match] Jackie, Silas, and Hector are all there too. This is surprisingly good, but not great. They work to the stip well, but don't let it become the match. It's a great match worked within lumberjack rules rather than around it. Great control seg from Roode and Storm, and they debut the "BEER! MONEY!" suplex spot. They could have timed the hot tag better, but this is like Beer Money's third match as a full time team. Really hot tag despite that, but the finish really came out of nowhere. Rodoe gets strapped a bit on the floor, and rolls back in and loses to the Doomsday Ace Crusher. LAX never really looked in danger of losing the belts in the finishing run. **3/4 A video airs on Booker T's school in Houston. This makes no sense. The first vignette is Booker being an arrogant piece of shit, so that works. This makes him look like a stand up guy, showing him actually help his students and what not, and it makes no sense with how he's being booked in TNA at the moment. Match #5: Taylor Wilde [c] vs. Awesome Kong w/ Raesha Saed [TNA Knockouts Championship] This is good, but only 4 minutes or so. Kong kills Taylor, but again loses to a roll up. ** Kong keeps beating on her, but Abyss again comes out to make a save! Kong almost fights him, but Saed gets her to back down, and then Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam on Saed. What a bully. Match #6: Kaz vs. Naruki Doi vs. Volador Jr. vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir [World X Cup Finals - Ultimate X Match] This wasn't amazing or anything, but it could have been worse, with Daivari and Kaz in the same match. Volador is easily the best. He's not amazing, but he does his stuff cleanly and crisply and does nothing terrible. Kaz and Daivari do a SUUUUUUUUUUUPER contribed spot with a Legdrop off the X. BUT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, VOLADOR GETS THE X DOWN! FUCK YEAH MEXICO WINS THE CUP! **1/2 Another Booker T vignette airs, this time of him golfing as he talks shit about Joe. He ends it by driving away in the golf cart and yelling "BASS, HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?", so it wasn't all bad. Match #7: AJ Styles/Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Kurt Angle/Team 3D [Full Metal Mayhem] This time, there is nothing to grab, so it's just a No DQ match with tables, ladders, and chairs scattered around. Christian and AJ are too goddamned great to let this be anything less than awesome, especially when they only got 15 minutes, so Kurt can't kill it with overkill. AJ continues to be an amazing brawler, and Rhino and Team 3D did their thing, generally speaking. AJ and Christian also take massive bumps. TONS of awesome spots with tables and ladders, and AJ's selling is fantastic. AJ finally gets Angle alone at the end and climbs up a ladder, but Frank Trigg gets his stupid face involved. He low blows AJ, and Angle then Angle Slams him off the ladder through a table to win. ***1/4 In the back, Joe asks Nash to stay in the back. Nash shakes his hand and says okay. Hype video for Joe/Booker. Match #8: Samoa Joe [c] vs. Booker T [TNA World Heavyweight Championship] This was a weird fucking match. The build is half about Booker big league-ing Joe like an asshole and half about Houston being his hometown, without the two intersecting at all or anything. There's a different between this and shit like Chicago refusing to boo Punk or Bret and Canada, because TNA never mentioned the crowd at all. It's just sort of a weird reaction, as Booker works heel and dominates to cheers, and Joe gets no response as a result. It's not bad or anything, since Booker tries now. Sharmell slaps Joe, so he loses his shit. He kills Booker with a chair, throws referees out, and the match now ends. **1/4 Joe puts Booker in the Choke and kills him, and Sting comes out to get involved in shit that isn't about him at all. He says he's proven his point and tries to get him to let go, but Joe shoves him back. Sting tries to get Joe off, and breaks the hold. Joe gives him the finer and says this doesn't involve him, so Sting hits him with the bat! Sting leaves and Booker covers. Sharmell counts to three. Booker celebrates with the belt, and Tenay asks if he won the title. WHAT THE FUCK? HOW WOULD YOU EVER COME TO THAT CONCLUSION?! Decent show, until that last bit of booking. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 20 2012, 08:05 PM Post #37 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde, Since 7/10/2008 TNA Impact July 17th, 2008 Orlando, FL Booker T comes out with the belt and Sharmell and declares himself the new champion. Jim Cornette comes out and demands he gives the belt back before the rematch at Hard Justice. Samoa Joe comes out and Booker says he proved Joe can't beat him. Joe says he's not taking the handout and Booker can keep that belt until he chokes him out again at Hard Justice. He says after that, he's coming for Sting to get his revenge on him too. In the back, JB interviews Kaz and he admits that he let everyone down in Ultimate X, and he's challenging Petey for the title tonight to make up for that. In the back, Lauren is with Beer Money. Storm says in a straight fight, they would have beaten LAX's asses and won the titles, and Roode says those idiot fans cost them the titles on Sunday, and this isn't over yet. Match #1: Petey Williams [c] w/ Rhaka Khan vs. Kaz ["TNA X Division Championship"] Hey, this really fucking sucked! Petey wins with the Destroyer. 3/4* Kaz is disappointed with himself, realizing how bad he is. In the back, JB interviews Samoa Joe about Sting and asks why he's calling him out. Kevin Nash comes in and says he never doubted that Joe had it in him to beat Booker T, but he wanted to motivate him, and it looked like it worked. Joe says he's wrong, because he didn't beat Booker T yet, and that's coming at Hard Justice. Joe says maybe he can't though, and Nash says to never stop believing in himself. What the fuck? Why would Joe doubt himself after he basically murdered Booker at the end of the match? In the production truck, Storm and Roode are whipping random production guys and camera men. In the parking lot, JB is waiting for Sting, but Kurt Angle and Team 3D arrive wearing Sting masks. What the fuck? In the back, JB finds a meeting of the PRINCE JUSTICE BROTHERHOOD, which is Super Eric, Curry Man, and Shark Boy. You know what? No. Beer Money comes over and beats the shit out of them with straps too. Match #2: Matt Morgan vs. Jimmy Rave w/ Rock n' Rave Morgan wins with his horrible kick in 90 seconds. 1/3* Hoyt then challenge Morgan, and he accepts. Match #3: Matt Morgan vs. Lance Hoyt w/ Christy Hemme Hey, this also sucked. Morgan wins with the kick. 1/5* Beer Money are now whipping random fans on the Universal Studios lot. Kurt Angle and Team 3D come out and they want to welcome Sting into their fraternity. Kurt says he knows Sting is also sick of the young punks who have no respect for legends like them or this business. AJ Styles comes out and says he doesn't know why Sting did what he did, but he trusts Sting and says he probably had a good reason. AJ challenges the three of them to a rematch, and Cage and Rhino come out. Bubba says he accepts for Hard Justice, but Christian says it will be next week and will be an elimination tables match. Why? Why would you give them their specialty match? Match #4: Knockouts Gauntlet This sucks and Velvet wins. No reason to run these on TV. 1/2* In the back, JB is with Booker and Sharmell. He says Booker gets to pick his opponent tonight, so Booker says he is giving young Consequences Creed a title shot. Booker then calls 911 and says he'll need an ambulance at the Impact Zone, because it would be a Stretcher Match. Match #5: Sonjay Dutt vs. Eric Young vs. Johnny Devine This is also way too short for these three to do anything decent. Dutt rolls up Young with the tights to win. 3/4* Jay Lethal runs out to attack Dutt. He beats on him with a chair, and Val comes out to get him to stop. Dutt grabs the chair and hits the post behind Val's back, and then sells like he's been hit again. Val then yells at Lethal and leaves. Beer Money comes out, and Roode gets on the mic. He scolds the fans for laughing at them when they lost at Victory Road and when they got beaten like animals. Storm says they're still laughing, so they pull a fan in a LAX shirt over and into the ring and beat him with the straps some more. Hector Guerrero comes out to stop it, but he also gets whipped before LAX FINALLY comes out to drive them away. In the back, JB interviews Angle and Team 3D. Tomko is there again too. Angle says stuff, and this show has way too many fucking segments. Great thing about the last two months of Impact was how they broke up segments with good matches that got time. Angle says Sting will be in their corner next week. Match #6: Booker T vs. Consequences Creed [Stretcher Match] This was not very good at all. It's pretty much 5 minutes of Booker offense before he puts Creed on the stretcher and rolls him out to win. *1/2 Booker tries to put him in the ambulance, but Joe comes out and fights Booker off. Booker gets in it to drive away and Sharmell tries to hit him with a bat. Joe grabs it and it is an all black bat, and Joe asks who gave this to them, but she runs away. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 20 2012, 08:59 PM Post #38 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde, Since 7/10/2008 TNA Impact July 24th, 2008 Orlando, FL To open the show, Joe and Nash are in a cage. Joe challenges Booker to have their rematch in the cage so that there's no excuses. Booker T comes out with a contract and says he accepts, and he'll be back with a revised contract for Joe to sign. He tells him to be afraid of the dark, to be very afraid of the dark. In the back, JB is with Babyface Christian Coalition. AJ says he doesn't believe Sting would support Angle and Team 3D. Christian says he's been on Sting's bad side, so he's not as trusting, and says if he shows up, he won't hesitate to drop him through a table. Rhino looks at AJ and says he gets that Sting is his role model, but warns him not to get sucked in. Match #1: Consequences Creed vs. Johnny Devine vs. Eric Young vs. Jimmy Rave Short spotfest once again. Creed rolls up Devine to win. 3/4* Hoyt attack Creed post-match, and Abyss runs out to save. In the back, JB interviews Angle and Team 3D, and they make him lie on a table. Bubba says if being a scumbag and a bully were gold medal events, then they'd all have gold medals and not just Kurt, and Kurt says Sting is going to shock the world tonight. A horrible pretape airs with Karen interviewing Kaz, and he talks about his boring fucking career. Match #2: Matt Morgan vs. Kory Chavis Another Morgan squash that nobody cares about. He is now doing Hirooki Goto's Shouten, called the Hellevator, as a finish. 1/4* In the back, Lauren is with MCMG, and they challenge Beer Money to a strap match tonight! Horrible Prince Justice Brotherhood segment. Match #3: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns [Strap Match] Hey, this was great! Good use of the strap, and then their usual fantastic chemistry with each other. This gets like 6-7 minutes, so it actually gets the time to be a great match. They base stuff more on the strap than on their double teams, and that way, they still have a ton of stuff to do when they do get a longer rematch. Sabin rolls up Roode, but Storm punches him with the handcuffs, and Roode covers to win. *** They handcuff Shelley to the ropes now, and whip him with the straps. Match #4: Taylor Wilde [c] vs. Velvet Sky w/ Angelina Love [TNA Knockouts Championship] This is more of an angle. Wilde wins in 5 seconds with a roll up. Velvet demands a rematch, and this goes 20 seconds before she loses to a roll up. She wants a 3rd match, and that goes for about a minute before Angelina interferes for a DQ. 1/4* They put the paper bag on her head, and Gail and ODB run out to save. Sheik Abdul Bashir is coming. HORRIBLE. In the hospital wing of the Impact Zone, JB and Val visit Dutt in his room. Val says she hates this violence, and they leave. Dutt pulls out a diamond ring and smiles like a creep. Match #5: AJ Styles/Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Kurt Angle/Team 3D [Elimination Tables Match] There is no Sting. This is obviously not as good as Victory Road, which was probably a total miracle. The eliminations aren't anything special, but it's still a pretty good match. Christian eliminates D-Von with a Frog Splash through a table, and Rhino misses a Gore and goes through the table to eliminate himself. D-Von continues to interfere, and Christian is eliminated with the Superbomb through a table. AJ knocks Bubba off the apron through one on the floor. Trigg comes out and hits AJ with a kendo stick, and Angle then Angle Slams AJ through a table to win. **1/4 Booker T comes out with the new contract for the Hard Justice title match, and Samoa Joe comes out with Nash. Booker tells him to get his punk ass buddy out of the ring and Nash says he'll leave if Booker gets his wench out too. Sharmell and Nash both leave, and Booker signs the contract. Joe goes to sign, and the lights go out. Tenay cums in his pants and yells HE'S HERE. The lights come on, and Joe is out in the ring and Booker is holding a bat. Tenay yells that Sting must have did it, which is a weird conclusion to jump to. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 20 2012, 10:36 PM Post #39 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde, Since 7/10/2008 TNA Impact July 31st, 2008 Orlando, FL In the back, JB is with Booker and Sharmell. Booker says he will take Joe on a tour of the cage later tonight, and a special friend of his will join them. The intro video is done using footage from the horrible TNA video game. Match #1: Christian Cage/Rhino vs. Beer Money w/ Jackie Moore [#1 Contender's Match] Hey, this was great too! Beer Money have started to add in some great stooging tricks like their previous awesome tag teams used. Christian is a killer face in peril as usual, and the control seg from Roode and Storm continues to improve with almost every match. Christian gets out for a minute and then back in, which allows Rhino to not drag the team down. Team 3D comes out though to distract him and Storm beats Christian with the Superkick. **3/4 Christian gets on the mic post-match and challenges Team 3D to fight them in a New Jersey Street Fight at Hard Justice. Horrible RNRI promo. Match #2: Jay Lethal/Curry Man/Shark Boy vs. The Rock n' Rave Infection/Johnny Devine This was not much. Lethal beats Rave with the Lethal Combination. 3/4* Lethal gets down on one knee again and asks Val to marry him. He notices that the ring is gone, and says he's realized she probably never wanted to marry him in the first place, and he leaves. Super Eric. In the back, JB interviews Joe and Nash. Joe says he knows it was Sting who hit him last week, and he hopes Sting does join Booker in the cage tonight, and Nash says he's with him tonight, and he'll do it his way for once. The cage is up with weapons on the wall, and Booker T comes out. Booker promises that the lights will not go out tonight. Samoa Joe comes out and says the lights will go out, but only for Booker T, once he beats the hell out of him. Joe gets in the cage and Booker backs off. He tries to leave through the door, but Kevin Nash has come out, and he stops him. Sharmell comes out, and Nash carries her to the back. Joe beats on Booker, but a baseball bat comes down on a wire from the ceiling. Booker hits Joe with it, and looks up and says "Thank you, Sting!" DAIVARI. STILL THE WORST. Joe is getting up int the cage, and AJ Styles comes out to check on him, since they're now bros. I can deal with some things like this as long as there's at least some period where they could have logically become friends, but AJ and Joe have literally NEVER gotten along at all. AJ gets on the mic, and he calls Sting out, and says he's defended him for three weeks now. He asks why his bat keeps knocking Joe out, and why Sting's hiding now. He says maybe Sting feels guilty, because he knows Sting ain't no coward. The lights go out again, but when they come back, Kurt is in the cage and he attacks. He hits two Angle Slams and slaps AJ and yells at him for sleeping with his wife. He then hits a third Angle Slam before leaving the cage. Shit, if you're doing a sneak attack angle in a cage, use the fucking cage. Petey Williams says shit in the back. Match #3: Petey Williams w/ Rhaka Khan vs. Consequences Creed Short and terrible. Creed wins with a roll up, ensuring a PPV match between them for this fictional X Division title. 1/2* In the back, Lauren is with AJ as he is in pain. He says sooner or later Sting will come back, because Bound for Glory is in three months, and he'll be there to greet him and ask for some kind of an explanation. He says in the mean time, a regular match isn't enough between he and Kurt Angle, and says at Hard Justice, it would be a Last Man Standing match! Another Kaz pretape. AND KAZARIAN QUITS! YES! FUCK YEAH! TNA JUST IMPROVED SO MUCH! In the back, Lauren interviews Joe. He says he doesn't know what's happened, but someone or something has dragged Sting over to the dark side. He says if Sting won't answer anyone, maybe he'll find him in the rafters and get answers for himself. Match #4: Matt Morgan vs. Sal Rinauro Sal does his best, but Morgan is still the absolute worst. Hellevator ends it. 1/7* Tomko comes out to fight with Morgan, but Morgan dominates him too and lays him out with the Hellevator. UGH. ROUGH CUT WITH TAYLOR WILDE. I don't need to know the background of the entire fucking roster. Match #5: The Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Taylor Wilde This was good enough. Not really sure why it's the main event, but whatever. Taylor beats Velvet with a German suplex. *3/4 They keep brawling post-match, and Awesome Kong finally returns. She kills Gail and Wilde, and hits them both with Awesome Bombs. Velvet and Angelina bail out before Kong can turn around and see them. Kong keeps beating on the babyfaces, but Roxxi and ODB come out. Kong wants to fight them too, but Saed gets her to leave. Booooo. In the rafters, Samoa Joe gets up there. He yells for Sting, but Sting is not there, and only a black crow is. INTRIGUE~ almost. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 21 2012, 03:07 PM Post #40 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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TNA World Heavyweight Champion: Samoa Joe, Since 4/13/2008 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY TNA World Tag Team Champions: LAX, Since 5/11/2008 TNA X-Division Champion: Nobody TNA Knockouts Champion: Taylor Wilde, Since 7/10/2008 TNA Impact August 7th, 2008 Orlando, FL This episode looks awful. Lots of bad segments, short mathces, and then a fucking weapons gauntlet. No thanks. Roxxi def. Jackie Moore Sonjay Dutt def. Curry Man Lethal Consequences def. MCMG LAX/Christian Cage/Rhino def. Beer Money/Team 3D Samoa Joe wins the weapons gauntlet and then Sting is in the rafters. Fart. |
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7:02 PM Jul 10