| Simon Rewatches WWF - 2000 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 3 2012, 10:46 PM (15,746 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Nov 3 2012, 10:46 PM Post #1 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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This has always been kind of a joke amongst me and Ford that I want to go back and watch awesome shit again. But I realized this is feasible. Looking back as I tried to put together actual stats for 2000 and 2001 instead of just WOTY and TTOTY, I realized that my rating of certain matches seems off compared to the standards I have in recent reviews. So yeah, I'm doing this and 2001. Might go back and do 1998 if I like the feel here. I wanted to do the entire Attitude Era, using WWE 13 as an excuse, but I still have nightmares sometimes about 1999. Doesn't hurt that I'd probably hold up 2000 and 2001 as #1 and #2 all time years for the company on an all-around level. WWF World Champion: The Big Show, Since 11/14/1999 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Big Bossman, Since 10/14/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Women's Champion: Miss Kitty, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War January 3rd, 2000 Miami, FL FUCK YEAH CLASSIC RAW THEME. NOSTALGIA. The Rock comes out to a HUGE pop from his hometown. FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK...HOME. And all that. He shouts out the Dolphins, Ziggy Marley, and his family. He says this is the first Raw of the year 2000, and he's with the people as the People's Champion, he wants to answer the historians 1000 years from now, as they ask what the sound encompassing this 1000 years was, and it was the sound of the people chanting The Rock's name. He says he has one resolution and it is to be the best damn WWF Champion there ever was. He was before that, he has an issue, and that issue is Mick Foley. He says he realizes he gave 15 years to this business, and the way he was put out of the WWF was the biggest pile of monkey crap The Rock has ever seen. Speaking of monkey crap, if Triple H has a shred of hair on his ass, then he will come out and go one on one with The Great One so that this Brahma Bull can take his horns, shine them up real nice, TURN THEM SUMBITCHES SIDEWAYS AND STICK THEM STRAIGHT UP HIS CANDY ASS. 1, 2, IS THIS ON? FUCK YEAH "MY TIME"! Triple H and Stephanie come onto the stage, and H mocks Rock's leopard jacket. He says there is nothing more that he would want than to walk down there and beat his ass in front of his hometown. He says he has bigger fish to try though, and Rock has nothing he wants right now. He says he has the same resolution that The Rock does, but he has the power to make it happen tonight, so it's Big Show vs. H for the belt! He says he'll be a three time champion, because he IS that damn good. H says they have room in the show for him, because he knows how Rock loves to make history. Like last week, the first Pink Slip on a Pole match. So he puts Rock's job on the line again tonight in a handicap match! And to make things fair, if anyone interferes, they'll be fired on the spot. Rock asks who he had in mind, BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO HE HAD IN MIND! Triple H says all of Pavlov's dogs barked, so his line worked, but then introduces his opponents as X-Pac and the Outlaws. They run down to attack him in a 3 on 1. They beat him down with stomps until referees come out to break it up. Triple H poses over Rock, and the crowd responds by chanting "X-PAC SUCKS". On SD, The Posse and Dudley Boyz beat up the APA. Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. Too Cool w/ Rikishi The Mean Street Posse comes out to watch. This is all of 3 minutes, and is solid. Scotty takes some good bumps, and Sexay is a quality hot tag. The Posse comes out to attack Rikishi on the floor. The Acolytes come out to chase them off. Then for no real reason, Rikishi gets in to Superkick Bubba for the DQ. ** Rikishi does moves to the Dudleys, and they bail out. Rikishi and Too Cool then dance, and it rules. In the back, Cole is with the APA. Bradshaw says if anyone wants to fight them, they better stay to see it through. Faarooq says if they had a dollar for every ass they've kicked, they'd both be billionaires and they're gonna take three punk ass kids and give an ass whooping like no others, and they could do it with one hand tied behind their back. In the back, Triple H and Stephanie watch and say that's a great idea. H says it's fair too, and books it. Steve Blackman comes in and H says he told him to come here. He says he was told to stay out of Kurt's matches, and he says kind of. Triple H says if he hits Kane with his kendo stick, he's fired, and he says ok. Blackman leaves and Stephanie asks why Blackman would hit Kane with a kendo stick, and Triple H says because Kurt Angle will be wrestling Kane. Stephanie is not pleased, and H says his second resolution is to end Kurt Angle's winning streak. The guy who booked WWF from late 99 until Survivor Series 2000, whose name I forget now, used storyboards to map every angle out and liked to lay foundations for things before big feuds got PPV matches. Angle/H, H/Jericho, Rock/Benoit, Rock/Angle, etc. It really shows with stuff like this. Before the match, Kurt Angle gets on the mic. He says people think this may be the end of his streak, but tells his fans to fret not. He says he had to advantage, and it is a handicap match. He says he sees a 7 foot tall bag of muscle who hides behind a mask and does not speak, because he lacks integrity and intelligence. He says he definitely has intensity, but that's only one I. He asks everyone to cheer him on as he beats the heck out of this big lug. Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Kane w/ Tori This is also about 3 minutes, but that's probably for the best. Kurt is still getting there, but shows a natural potential to be a great bumper. Kane is Kane. Steve Blackman comes out and instead hits Kurt with a kendo stick to save Kurt's streak with a DQ win. *3/4 In the back, H and Stephanie watch and Stephanie says Kurt is still undefeated. She says if she thought that was tricky, he should wait to see what she's done with the Intercontinental Title. Stephanie comes out and referees follow her with the IC Title. She goes over the Jericho/Chyna finish, and invites them both to the ring. She then names them co-champions, and explains that if either loses the belt, they both lose the belt. The Hollys come out, and Bobcore says he wants his title shot. Jericho leaves, and forces us to watch Chyna vs. Bobcore. Motherfuck. Match #3: Chyna [c] w/ Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly w/ Crash Holly [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Chris Jericho joins commentary and begins trashing Stephanie, also beginning that. This is thankfully only 2 minutes. Holly grabs the ropes to block a sunset flip, and Jericho punches him in the face to knock him back into the pin. * Bobcore attacks Crash post-match. In the back, Triple H talks to Bossman and Albert. He says last week wasn't fair, and this week, they'll fight Test and two of his tag team partners. Bossman says he doesn't care. Clips air of Triple H/Big Show from last week. Match #4: The Big Show [c] vs. Triple H w/ D-Generation X & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley [WWF Championship] These two continue to have weirdly great chemistry when Triple H is a heel. Only real flaw in the match execution wise is the shitty Triple H corner bump. Show takes a ballsy over the railing to the concrete bump for a guy his size. He also takes one over the table and H eats a DISGUSTING hip toss from Show on the floor. Back inside, X-Pac distracts the ref, and it allows H to get a low kick and the Pedigree to win the belt that he probably never should have lost. **3/4 DX celebrates with H, and pyro shoots from the stage and green and black balloons fall from the ceiling. ![]() Test comes out for the handicap match, and his partners are...MAE YOUNG AND MOOLAH! LOOLOLOLOLOL Match #5: Test/Mae Young/The Fabulous Moolah vs. The Big Bossman/Prince Albert This was not awful. It's all Test for the 2 minutes it goes. Him vs. Albert and BBM is solid. Bossman uses the nightstick and Albert hits a Bicycle Kick to beat his future partner. *3/4 In the back, DX is still celebrating. In the parking lot, The Big Show leaves, looking disappointed and upset with himself. Match #6: The Acolytes vs. The Mean Street Posse [Acolytes' Hands Tied Behind Their Backs] This happens. It is exactly 30 seconds before The Dudley Boyz run out with chairs and attack the handicapped Acolytes for the DQ. 1/49* All five then beat up on the APA, and the Posse even whip the Acolytes with their belts. In the back, DX watches and applauds. Stephanie says she thinks they deserve a bonus, and Triple H agrees. "HAVE A BAD DAY": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9avBN_RqSk Match #7: Al Snow vs. Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy & Terri [Steel Cage Match] Oh, Russo! I still believe that occasionally, they'd call Russo or put some of his stuff on TV for people who were in between feuds or whatever. Anyways, this is great. It's right around the time when the Hardys are going from a young team with lots of potential and a willingness to die on bumps to a legitimately great babyface team. It's a singles match, but the qualities are showing, as he gets to show off a lot of quality selling and comebacks too. Jeff ends up using Al as a springboard to climb out of the cage to win. **3/4 In the back, the Stooges go into Rock's locker room, and they say they're going to miss him. The Rock says nobody's going to miss The Rock, because he's not going anywhere. He says he'll fight the entire crew or the locker room, and he'll slap the yellow off of all their teeth. In the back, H and Stephanie talk to the Outlaws and X-Pac and tell them to kick his ass and fire him. Everyone comes out for the main event, and Triple H announces that it's also No DQ. Match #8: The Rock vs. X-Pac/The New Age Outlaws [No DQ - Rock's Job On The Line] Triple H and Stephanie watch on the stage with a bottle of champagne. This is better than it should be, given that all the DX members are on the decline at this point. Outlaws especially. X-Pac is still great, but he doesn't work as well as a heel, and he's coming off his best year ever, so him on the decline is more of a technically speaking deal. Anyways, Rock sells a ton, has great comebacks, and ensures an insane crowd. He keeps being cut off, UNTIL MICK FOLEY COMES FROM THE CROWD AND HITS ALL THE DX MEMBERS WITH CHAIR SHOTS! Security chases him through the crowd, and Rock hits Billy Gunn with the Rock Bottom for the win. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 4 2012, 03:00 AM Post #2 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Big Bossman, Since 10/14/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Women's Champion: Miss Kitty, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown January 6th, 2000 Orlando, FL In the back, D-Generation X and Stephanie are in the locker room. H and Stephanie blame them for The Rock still being employed, but Triple H says it wasn't all bad, because at least he's WWF Champion again. Stephanie says there's a warrant for Mick Foley's arrest if he shows up tonight, and then books Big Show vs. X-Pac and The Acolytes vs. Billy Gunn. H says he's sacrificing too, because he'll be defending his WWF Title against the winner of a lottery tonight. Match #1: The Big Show vs. X-Pac This is about a minute of Show killing X-Pac before then also throwing the ref down for the DQ. *1/4 Show then Chokeslams the ref, because he is mad about losing the WWF Title. X-Pac hits Show in the back with a chair, but he feels nothing and punches the chair back into X-Pac's face to knock him out. In the back, Jericho talks to Chyna and Kitty. Jericho says this is a fate worse than death. They argue and Cole talks over them to hype their tag match. Match #2: The Hollys vs. Chris Jericho/Chyna w/ The Kat This was not much, and it was short. Jericho tries to make Bobcore look good for a bit. Chyna refuses to tag in, and attacks Jericho on the floor. She rolls him in, and Bob hits the Hollycaust for the win. Highlight of this was Jericho's awesome Babyface Flying Forearm. *1/2 Chyna then leaves with the belt. Fake Mankind is touring Universal Studios and nobody wants to talk to him. In the back, Tori goes into Stephanie's office and asks if she can use the bathroom. She says fine, and Tori goes in. Road Dogg shows up and Stephanie says he's not exempt from a match this week either, she just forgot to tell him earlier. She says his opponent is in the bathroom, so he goes in, and immediately runs out. Tori comes out and slaps him for being a pervert. Stephanie apologizes and says she forgot as Tori storms out, and then she laughs. Match #3: Billy Gunn vs. The Acolytes Very good Billy Gunn performance, bumping around for 2-3 minutes. Road Dogg then comes out to help him for a DQ. ** The Acolytes and Outlaws brawl into the crowd. In the back, Kane storms into the McMahon-Helmsley office and demands a match with that pervert Road Dogg, so they book it. Outside, cops are outside the arena to look for Foley. Match #4: Kane w/ Tori vs. Road Dogg This is clearly a leftover Russo script or something. This is about 5 minutes of Kane beating up on Road Dogg. X-Pac then comes out and causes a distraction. Road Dogg gets in a little bit of offense, but then promptly loses to a Chokeslam. Really shitty episode so far, especially compared to that solid RAWR. *1/2 WWF NEW YORK! OPENING SOON! In the office, H and Stephanie wonder who Rock will face, and H says it's Rock vs. Angle tonight. Stephanie is displeased. The Rock comes out first for his match, and then Kurt Angle does too. He comes out with the mic and says because of his Three I's and Olympic gold medals, he should be the true People's Champion. Rock then politely asks him to take his gold medals, shine them up real nice, turn them sideways and stick him straight up his candy ass. Match #5: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle This is their first match, so it's hardly No Way Out 2001 in this bitch, but it is very good. Solid back and forth, but Steve Blackman comes out before anything big happens. Rock takes the kendo stick and hits them both with it, causing another DQ. **1/2 Rock then also hits Blackman with the Rock Bottom. In the back, Stephanie gloats to Triple H that Angle is still undefeated, and he is now the one who is displeased. Match #6: Edge & Christian/Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy & Terri vs. Al Snow/The Dudley Boyz This ruled for the 4-5 minutes it got. Lots of cool spots. Edge beats Bubba with the Downward Spiral. **1/4 Post-match, Al Snow hits Bubba and D-Von with Head. Match #7: Test vs. The Big Bossman w/ Prince Albert This ruled! Bossman targets the broken nose of Test and gets real stiff. Test has a good comeback, and Bossman makes his shit look good. Test ducks the Bicycle Kick and it hits Bossman. Test covers to win. **1/2 Albert and Bossman argue post-match. In the back, H and Stephanie talk. He says it doesn't matter who gets drawn, because nobody can beat him, since he is The Game, and he is that damn good. Match #8: TAKA Michinoku/Sho Funaki vs. The Mean Street Posse This is short. TAKA rules. The Posse does some offense and then Funaki rolls up Rodney to win. ** In the back, Triple H and Stephanie stand in front of the midcard with a tumbler. They hype up that this has never been done before and Triple H says he knows they're proud to have him as WWF Champion. He draws a name, and says this is serious and asks who put Andre the Giant in here. He then draw Fabulous Moolah, and says he'd like an actual challenge. He says to prove this is real, he has Howard Finkel draw a name, and he draws RIKISHI! YEAH! Triple H and Stephanie are mad at him and they storm off. Fake Mankind is still at Universal Studios, UNTIL REAL MANKIND COMES AND LAYS HIM OUT! Before the main event, Rikishi sends Too Cool to the back. Match #9: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon Helmsley vs. Rikishi [WWF Championship] So yeah, this rules. Rikishi actually being nervous does a great job putting this over. This is one of the finest Triple H performances ever. The first time I reviewed it, I noted how this was Rikishi's match, and he's really great in it, but the second time shows that that's wrong. Triple H is taking huge bumps and selling exactly right and milking three counts perfectly. He's doing all the small things that make the match great instead of just really good, while also making it come off like Rikishi's match. A lot of times, his bumping and work comes off like a second rate Ric Flair, but this is during that 12-18 months where it actually looked like he'd inherit the crown he pretended to possess until at least 2006 (it's arguable that he still pretended to be Ace after losing to Cena, but it's not like anyone believed that). Rikishi kicks out of a chair shot, so H blatantly hits him with the belt for the DQ. ***1/4 In the back, DX watches and makes no attempt to interfere or save. H attacks Rikishi with the chair, but Too Cool runs out and fights him off. Rikishi then dances and EVERYONE does the Scotty 2 Hotty overhead clap. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 13 2012, 05:10 PM Post #3 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Big Bossman, Since 10/14/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War January 10th, 2000 St. Louis, MO DAT RAW INTO AGAIN. The entire roster comes out to the ring to start the show, and they stand outside the ring. JR and Lawler ask what's going on, and the Rock comes out. He gets into the ring and gets on the mic. DX watches in the back, and they are confused. He says the reason everyone is around the ring with the People's Champ in the middle is because they have asked The Rock to be their spokesman, and as unaccustomed to public speaking as he is, he agreed, and he calls out Triple H and Stephanie. In the back, the Outlaws and X-Pac refuse to follow since this is their fault. Triple H and Stephanie finally come out onto the stage. Stephanie says they can work something out which results in a KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Rock says the first thing is Mick Foley, and says he knows Mick is in the parking lot right now, probably selling and eating popcorn. He says if they do not meet their demands, they will walk out on their candy asses, and the first demand is that they reinstate Mick Foley right now! Triple H says fine and says Mick Foley is back, but they were already going to do that today. Rock says he's been in lots of stupid matches lately, and as of tonight, there is no way matches like that will ever happen again. They say fine and Rock says there are 15,000 Rock fans calling Stephanie a slut. Triple H says he thought they were talking to The Rock, and he ignores him. Rock says they like to throw around their weight, but as of tonight, there is no one who will get fired without just cause, and they agree too. Mankind's music hits, and he comes out through the crowd and into the ring! Mankind acknowledges the DOZENS AND DOZENS of Mankind fans for the cards, and secondly, he thanks The Rock for this. Mankind says he has a few suggestions for the Rumble, and he has a hell of a main event lined up with the two of them for the WWF Title! Triple H is mad now, and says he's got it. Rock says since the WWF Title match is set for the Rumble, he's including himself in the Royal Rumble match! Mankind then books Billy Gunn vs. Road Dogg and Triple H vs. X-Pac, and if Triple H doesn't make those matches that we all walk. Rock then books all of DX vs. Rock, Mankind, and the Acolytes in the main event if they survive those matches. In the back, DX argues and Triple H says they had to do it or everyone would have walked out. Road Dogg says they can put on a two hour show and Gunn says he can't handle pressure at all, and says to shut up. X-Pac shrugs and wishes him luck tonight. JR says in the back, there's a sign up sheet for the boys to make their own matches tonight, since they have leverage. Match #1: Road Dogg vs. Billy Gunn Road Dogg gets face pops still, and JR says this match has never happened ever. Dogg carries this, since Gunn is horrible as a singles heel. He controls too much of this for it to be much, and thankfully, Dogg catches the Fameasser into a Powerbomb for the win. ** Gunn refuses a handshake and storms off. In the back, Mankind has Fake Mankind tied up and yells at him to tell a joke now since he's so funny. Before the next match, Kurt Angle gets on the mic. He says he has a lot in common with the St. Louis Rams. They both have the three I's, but unlike the Rams, he beats people with actual winning records. It's true. He asks why they would boo an Olympic champion but cheer for Kurt Warner, who is only on a lucky streak. Match #2: Kurt Angle/Steve Blackman vs. The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri This is an awesome 3-4 minutes. Jeff takes huge bumps, and Blackman throws him head-first into the steps and he just about dies. Matt has a good brief hot tag, and Jeff dropkicks Blackman forward into the Twist of Fate for the win. **1/4 Angle walks out on Blackman. In the back, Mankind basically acts like The Joker, and says that if asked, he'll tell them that fake Mankind is all tied up, and yells at him to laugh at the funny joke, and fake Mankind is clearly weeping. What the fuck? In the back, Chyna and The Kat are hanging out by the sign up sheet. Jericho goes up, and apologizes about what he said on SD and that she was right. He asks her to sign them up to face The Hollys again, because they could destroy any team, especially the Hollys. Val Venis comes out and announces that Edge is engaged to marry his sister, and he congratulates them, but says he's still not good enough to take his European Title. YAY! Match #3: Val Venis [c] vs. Edge w/ Christian [WWF European Championship] During Edge's entrance, the Tazz sign flashes. This is really good for a 4 minute movefest. One of those Attitude Era TV matches that feels like the last 3-4 minutes of a really epic match. Everything looks clean and is impressive. Edge misses a Spear and hits the post and Val wins with a Fisherman's Suplex. **3/4 Edge says Christian will be his best man, and they all hug. This was cool and all, but it leads to literally nothing. I assume this is another Russo leftover that they occasionally do until WrestleMania 2000, after which the WWF picks up. In the back, the Outlaws argue and X-Pac tries to keep the peace. Gunn says Road Dogg got extremely lucky, and says he can find his own ride home, and he storms off. Before the tag match, Jericho welcomes us to RAW IS JERICHO! He says he got a bigger response than Chyna, and says not to be bothered by that, because his Jericholics are here. Match #4: The Hollys vs. Chris Jericho/Chyna w/ The Kat This is under 3 minutes, thankfully. Jericho and Crash meshed well, but Bobcore is THE WORST in 2000, and Chyna is one of the worst wrestlers to ever hold the IC Title. Chyna gets isolated and goes to tag, but Jericho doesn't bother reaching out for it, and Bobcore pulls her back in. He then hits the Hollycaust for the win. *3/4 Jericho grabs the IC Title and leaves, and points to his head. In the back, Mankind keeps torturing Fake Mankind because Russo is laying out this episode apparently and he hates actual wrestling. He throws hot coffee in his face. Match #5: Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. X-Pac This was great, for the three minutes it went. Both men took huge bumps, and were clearly competing. Triple H is in his peak here and will take some great bumps, but nobody's outbumping X-Pac. H went for cheap shots, so X-Pac unloads on him for the next 2 minutes or so. It's awesome and the last we'll see of babyface X-Pac pretty much. Stephanie crotches him up top, and H hits the Pedigree to win. **1/2 In the back, X-Pac and the Outlaws talk, and I guess Billy and Road Dogg made up. X-Pac says it's the broad that's ruining things here. Gunn says DX was fine until Stephanie showed up, and says she's the one whos really running the show, and they don't care about them. Match #6: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Al Snow/The Headbangers Thankfully, this is only 2 minutes. Scotty is a decent FIP for a minute until Rikishi comes in and kills everyone with his amazing big man offense. Rikishi beats Mosh with the Rikishi Driver. *1/2 Al Snow lays out The Headbangers with Head, and he leaves. Rikishi and Too Cool then dance. In the back, Mankind tells fake Mankind that if he hasn't learned his lesson, it's an hour of Al Snow matches for him. He then says he's thinking about untying him because he likes his fashion sense. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, that one was great. Mankind unties him and leaves and says to have a nice day. Match #7: The Dudley Boyz vs. D'Lo Brown/The Godfather w/ Hos This was fun when D'Lo was in. Godfather is not any better in the ring the second time around. The Dudley control seg is great and then D'Lo has a good hot tag. The Dudley Boyz bail out and they try to steal the ladies, but Godfather and D'Lo go after them. They fight on the floor, and the ref calls it a double count out. ** The faces drive the Dudley Boyz out, and the dance with the prostitutes. In the back, Mankind compliments Tori on her very nice breasts and says there's many things he would like to do to them, and he's in dressing room #3, if she wants to find out. Back from break, Tori leads Kane down a hallway and says Mankind touched her and groped her. Kane bursts into room #3, and beats the shit out of the fake Mankind inside. He beats him all over the arena and throws him out of the building. Since this is a version from Canadian TV as most of the 2000 pack is, they are woefully behind the times and air a hype video for The Big Show that appears to only show footage from before mid 1999. In the back, Triple H talks to DX tonight. He says they're a unit and they have to stick together, and Road Dogg mockingly repeats what he says and the Outlaws and X-Pac walk out on him. Match #8: The Big Show/Test vs. The Big Bossman/Prince Albert This was only a minute, but it was a lot of fun. Everyone hits hard and swings wildly. Bossman accidentally hits Albert with the nightstick and Test hits Albert with the Flying Elbow to win. *1/2 Albert and Bossman argue in the ring, and Albert shoves Bossman down! The Big Show comes back in and he hits them with a Double Chokeslam, and JR says Big Show is the favorite in the Royal Rumble. Match #9: The Rock n' Sock Connection/The Acolytes vs. Triple H/X-Pac/The New Age Outlaws w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley This at least for around 10 minutes. One of those awesomely chaotic Attitude Era TV main events. SUPER hot crowd, incredibly fast pace, and lots of different stuff. Faarooq pretty much fucking murders X-Pac on some stuff. Mankind and Triple H get in, and DX walks out on Triple H! Rock and the APA attack them and they fight to the back, so it's Mankind and H all alone. They have a really great brawl. H hits Mankind with the ring bell and then hits a Pedigree through the announce table! Foley is busted open and H hits another Pedigree in the ring for the win. *** They keep fighting, but Mankind fights back. He hits the Cactus Clothesline ,and H and Stephanie bail. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 13 2012, 08:53 PM Post #4 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Big Bossman, Since 10/14/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown January 23th, 2000 Chicago, IL Triple H and Stephanie came out to open the show. Stephanie states that no WWF Superstars will be leaving, as they dealt with things in a fair manner on Monday, and that their door is always open. H then apologized to DX, and that tough love was exchanged between both sides, and he realized the error of his ways. He promises to show them how sorry he is tonight, and books Outlaws vs. Bradshaw in a No DQ handicap match with the stipulation that if Faarooq interferes, they lose their tag title shot at the Rumble. He then books Outlaws vs. Faarooq with the same stipulations. He then books H/X-Pac vs. Big Show/The Rock. They move on to actual business now, and Triple H then promises that Mick Foley's blood will stain NYC at the Rumble and will beat him worse than ever. He then calls out Mankind right now, and he comes out. Oh wait, it's the awful fake Mankind. He gets on his knees and says H is the best of all time and apologizes for even trying to stand up to him. Actual Mankind comes out then, and his shirt is still stained with blood from Raw. He asks if Triple H gets off on this and asks how much more he wants from him. He's tried to take his job and in his dignity, and in what should have been a great night on Monday, he takes him and he ruins his shirt and his face, and he'll be honest, when he took a shower and he looked at the blood swirling the shower drain, he started to think about what Mankind was. He's an entertaining son of a gun, a pretty damn good author, one tough SOB, and one hell of a fighter, but one thing he's not is ready to face H at a Street Fight in the Garden. The WWF fans deserve a substitute in that match though, so Mick says he's gonna name him right now. "As a matter of fact. I think you know the guy!" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "AND I THINK YOU KNOW HIM PRETTY DAMN WELL! HIS NAME...IS CACTUS JACK!" He says his first is to kick his teeth all over Chicago, AND CACTUS HITS THE RING AND THEY BRAWL! YEAH! FAKE MANKIND USES A CHAIR, BUT TO NO EFFECT! FUCK YEAH! CACTUS DESTROYS FAKE MANKIND WITH THE CHAIR, AND H AND STEPHANIE RUN AWAY! Cactus gets on the mic and says if Triple H wants to spill his blood all over New York City, it won't be the first or the last time, because he's got a lot of blood to give. He says to look into his eyes, because he's going to tear him apart at the Garden, and he's going to take the only thing Triple H truly loves, the WWF Title. BANG BANG! One of the greatest angles of all time, and H's facial expression is on a short list for best thing he's ever done. Match #1: The New Age Outlaws vs. Bradshaw [No DQ] Really fun gimmick filled brawl for 2 minutes. Weapons are used and Bradshaw beats the fuck out of Billy Gunn. Road Dogg hits him with a chair shot to win. ** In the back, Coach debuts by interviewing The Rock. Rock asks who he is first, and Coach says if it matters, he's Jonathon Coachman. Rock welcomes him to the WWF and to The Rock's show, Smackdown. Coach asks how he feels about his tag match, and he says his partner doesn't matter to The Rock, but The Big Show is a decent partner. Rock then asks Coach how he came up with the name Coach and says it doesn't matter how he came up with the name Coach. Match #2: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Al Snow/The Hollys This was short at least. Rikishi beats up everyone and beats Crash with the Bonzai Drop. *1/2 Snow hits the Hollys with Head and leaves, and says he needs a partner he can trust. A video airs on Cactus Jack's Japanese deathmatches. Match #3: Test vs. Gangrel w/ Luna This was short and total dogshit. Luna interferes for a DQ. 3/4* Test lays out Gangrel with the Big Boot and hits Luna with the Pumphandle Slam. In the back, Chyna and Jericho talk. Chyna asks why he walked out on her and Jericho says she did it to him first. Chyna says they need to act like adults and get along. Match #4: The Big Bossman/Albert vs. The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri This ruled again for a sub 5 minute match. Albert completely beats the shit out of the Hardys, and they are willing to die for entertainment. Matt is a great face in peril as always and Albert is a fucking beast. Jeff has a decent hot tag and Albert accidentally hits Bossman now. Jeff rolls up Bossman to win. **1/2 Bossman and Albert finally come to blows, and they get pulled apart. In the back, Lillian interviews Big Show. He says he's the only former WWF Champion to never get a rematch so he's glad to fight Triple H and X-Pac tonight. He says on Raw, Rock said he would throw 29 jabronis out of the ring at the Rumble, but he's no jabroni. He says in all liklihood, he'll be the one throwing Rock into the 7th row at the Rumble. He says he's fine being The Rock's partner tonight, but he doesn't like The Rock. In the back, Chyna talks to Tori. Match #5: Edge & Christian vs. Kurt Angle/Steve Blackman This was another great 3 minute match. Blackman had tons of cool violent looking stuff. Steve Blackman is the best. Angle vs. E&C shows a lot of potential early on and yeah. Blackman looks for the kendo stick under the ring, but Val Venis comes on the OvalTron and had Blackman's bag of weapons again and says he can't let Blackman hurt his brother in law before the wedding, and Edge rolls him up for the win. Weird. **1/4 In the back, Chyna tells Tori that all Chris Jericho talks about is Tori, and he has a fantasy about her in a flight attendant outfit. Tori leaves, and Chyna suggests Kane vs. Jericho, non-title of course. What a cunt. Video airs of Cactus Jack vs. Terry Funk and the dumpster incident in 1998. Match #6: The New Age Outlaws vs. Faarooq [No DQ] This was also fun, but not as good. This is all of a minute long, and Faarooq is beat after a Jackhammer and Shake Rattle & Roll in succession and both Outlaws covering, after which he quickly kicks out. Shouldn't the point of this be them trying to injure an Acolyte before the Rumble? *1/4 They now attack him and Bradshaw runs out to make the save. Another video airs on Cactus Jack, showing his Street Fight vs. Triple H from 1997. In the back, Triple H and Stephanie talk to the Outlaws and say they haven't seen X-Pac in a while and they tell them to go find him. Before the next match, the Tazz symbol comes on and his voice says THE MOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE! YEAH! Match #7: The Headbangers vs. D'Lo Brown/The Godfather w/ Hos This was not much. Thank god it was short. D'Lo did the best he could and he wins with the Lo Down. 3/4* In the back, The Big Show goes up to The Rock and says to just stay out of his way tonight if he wants to make it to the Rumble. Match #8: Chris Jericho vs. Kane w/ Tori This was pretty great for time restrictions. Probably the strongest that Jericho's looked so far, since he goes toe to toe with the big dude and looks like he might have it won with the strategy of sticking and moving. Jericho bumps and moves around well too. Chyna and the Kat come out for a distrraction and Kane hits the Tombstone for the win. **1/2 Chyna grabs the IC Title now and leaves with it. In the back, X-Pac has arrived. H and Stephanie apologize, and he says that this is no different then before, since this is obviously a match where he'll get the crap kicked out of him to distract while H and DX attacks his enemies, but Triple H repeats that Pac can trust him. Before the main event and before Rock and Show come out, Triple H gets on the mic. He says he knows The Rock's ego is too big to not be the last guy to come out, so that means Big Show must be coming out first, and says he's the guy who Rock called a jabroni. Triple H trying to piss off Big Show to make sure Rock doesn't win the Rumble is so awesome. I love how in 2000, most of the top guys have 2-3 storylines going on at once. Match #9: The Rock/The Big Show vs. Triple H/X-Pac w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley Good match, but nothing really special. More about the angle than anything. That being said, it's H and X-Pac bumping around for 5-10 minutes. Show refuses to tag Rock in, so Rock forces it. He does some stuff, but then Big Show refuses to tag back in, and he walks out on Rock. Rock makes a comeback anyways, but X-Pac hits a low blow and H hits the Pedigree for the win. **3/4 Big Show comes back out post-match, and he hits Rock with a Chokeslam. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 14 2012, 04:09 PM Post #5 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Big Bossman, Since 10/14/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War January 17th, 2000 New Haven, CT TONIGHT: UPDATE ON AUSTIN'S SURGERY Cactus Jack comes out to open the show, and he gets on the mic. He congratulates Triple H for doing the impossible and making Mankind mad, and he asks why. He was friendly, he was funny, he was downright huggable, but he should have known that down deep, there was a sick twisted SOB waiting to be woken up. And Triple H woke up that SOB when he cracked him with that ring bell. And when he felt the warm blood flow down his face, he'd be lying if he said he didn't like it JUST A LITTLE BIT. Because at that moment, he was forced to stop living a lie and admit who he was deep down all along, Cactus Jack. He shows clips from H/Cactus in 1997, and I just realized that the last time Foley beat Triple H in any incarnation was that match. Great probably accidental storytelling there. Jack says 1997's beating will pale in comparison to the Royal Rumble. He says a normal man should not still be walking after the punishment that's been dished out, and there enlies the secret, because he is NOT a normal man! He says he worried that he was not the man that he used to be for the last year, and the fans forgave him because Mankind was one entertaining SOB. And he doesn't look down on Mankind, but there will be no laughter this Sunday and at MSG at the Rumble, he won't pretend to be the man he once was, he'll be just a little bit better. He says he doesn't regret sleeping on floors or in his car or his wounds sticking to bed sheets or losing an ear and having it thrown in the garbage can because they've made him what he is, AND WHAT HE IS IS ONE BAD SON OF A BITCH! And what he wants now is just a little piece, and he calls out Triple H right now! Triple H comes out with DX, and they fight. DX beats down Cactus, until The Rock runs out to save! The Big Show also comes out. He throws The Rock over the top to the floor and also runs off DX, along with The Acolytes. Match #1: The Big Bossman [c] vs. Test [WWF Hardcore Championship] THE MOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE~! This is another fun 3 minute garbage brawl. Bossman beats the shit out of Test, so that's awesome. Prince Albert comes out to interfere, but Test gets the nightstick. He hits them both with it and pins Bossman after a Flying Elbow Drop for the win and the belt. ** In the back, Triple H is upset, and he books Rock and Big Show vs. The Outlaws and says he and X-Pac are going to teach the Acolytes a lesson. At ringside, JR and King announce a Miss Royal Rumble swimsuit competition. God fucking damnit. Match #2: Edge & Christian vs. D'Lo Brown/The Godfather w/ Hos This is alright for a 3 minute spotfest, since Godfather was hardly in it. Edge accidentally knocks a ho off the apron, and as he checks on her, D'Lo hits Christian with the Sky High for the win. *3/4 Michael Cole is on location from a hospital in San Antonio, and says he'll be on later to give a report on Steve Austin's surgery. In the back, Big Bossman and Albert are brawling. Bossman throws Albert into a room and Tori runs out screaming, and Bossman laughs and leaves. Back at ringside, JR and Lawler announce Kurt Angle vs. a mystery opponent at the Royal Rumble. In the back, Tori goes into the DX locker room and asks Stephanie to book Kane vs. Albert, and she's fine with it so the match is made. Kurt Angle comes out for his match, and he gets on the mic. He says he has a mystery opponent tonight too, but he's confident that as an Olympic Hero, he will come out on top, because he knows every wrestler backstage like the back of his hand. He says with his Three I's, he will come out on top. Steve Blackman then comes out to be his opponent! In the back, Stephanie gets upset with Triple H for choosing Blackman as the opponent. Match #3: Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman This wasn't much. Short, and Angle hasn't developed enough to carry Blackman yet, since Blackman is hit or miss outside of hardcore matches. After a few minutes, British Bulldog comes out, since he's still employed I guess, and he hits Blackman with a kendo stick, and Angle covers to win. *1/2 In the back, Stephanie smiles and applauds and Triple H is mad. DAT SLOW BUILD. In the back, Coach interviews The Big Show. He says this thing between he and The Rock is personal, and he still loves and respects the fans who cheer for him, and says he's going to throw Rock out last when he wins the Rumble. All the Divas are in the ring with Lawler, and he announced the swimsuit competition. Ivory calls all the fans perverts, and tries to get out, but Luna and Jackie say that if they have to be in, so does she. Most everyone brawls, and Mae Young comes out and announces she's in the contest. Oh sweet lord, no. She tries to get naked, but Mark Henry and Moolah run down to stop it. Match #4: Triple H/X-Pac w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. The Acolytes Weird match. It's structured like they lost the original plan and just found one that they did in early 1999 instead, where X-Pac is isolated all match and Triple H makes the hot tag. Which is fine, it's what X-Pac does best, and H has always been a decent hot tag when he wants to be, and he's never been more motivated than in 2000, but it's sort of ass backwards at this point. The Acolytes almost have it won at the end, until the New Age Outlaws run out for a DQ. **1/2 DX beats down the Acolytes in a 4 on 2. Michael Cole reports from Texas that the surgery was successful and he should be back in the ring in 6-12 months. Another mid-1999 hype video airs, this time about The Rock. In the back, DX is celebrating and X-Pac yells "THUG LIFE!" In the back, The Rock cuts a promo congratulating Austin on the successful surgery. He then retracts the statement calling Show a jabroni, and upgrades him to a 500 lb. steaming pile of monkey crap. Rock guarandamntees a Rumble win, and says he neither wants nor needs Show as his partner Match #5: Jeff Hardy vs. Bubba Ray Dudley Terri and both tag partners are there. This is entertaining for 4 minutes or so, because Jeff will die for entertainment. D-Von goes after Terri but Matt hits him to save her. Bubba misses his Back Senton as always, and Jeff hits the Swanton Bomb for the win. **1/4 Post-match, the Dudleys attack the Hardy Boyz and hit them both with the 3Ds. D-Von fetches the table for the first time. Jeff is put onto the table and they Superbomb Matt off the top and onto Jeff through the table before they leave. In the back, Hardcore complains to Crash about Jericho defending the IC Title tonight, when it's supposed to be Jericho/Chyna/Holly at the Rumble (apparently, since they never mentioned it until now), but then realizes and says Crash knows nothing anyways and leaves. Match #6: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Rikishi [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This ruled for the 3 minutes it got. Rikishi's big man stuff is super super crisp and fluid and painful looking. Jericho, as he is prone to do at this time, takes gigantic bumps and has great comebacks. There is a ref bump, and The Hollys run out, but Rikishi fights them off. Chyna comes out to save the title, but Rikishi Superkicks her. He goes for a Double Bonzai Drop on both co-champions, but Bobcore hits Rikishi with a chair for the DQ to save the belt. **1/2 Too Cool runs out to save now, and they fight off the Holly cousins. Rikishi gets back up, and they dance. Another 1999 video airs on Kane. In the back, Cactus tries to talk to The Big Show and says he and Rock need to work something out tonight, but Big Show says he's not going to do that, and leaves. Match #7: Kane w/ Tori vs. Prince Albert This is fun, but short. Albert has a few nice pieces of offense, but he mostly gets squashed for the purposes of this angle. Kane wins with the Chokeslam. *3/4 In the back, Cactus talks to The Rock. He says he and Big Show need to get along, because DX runs in a pack and they don't have the numbers. Rock says he doesn't work well in tag teams. Cactus says to just give it a shot, and Rock pretty clearly humors his friend and says fine, and leaves. Match #8: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Rock/The Big Show This gets 5-10 minutes, so it is of quality. Not amazing or anything, since Show and Gunn aren't trying that much. Immediately, Rock attacks Big Show with punches on the apron, and the Outlaws then attack Rock. Triple H, Stephanie, and X-Pac come onto the stage to watch, and it's mostly Rock being isolated. Show tags himself in and throws Rock out to the floor. He cleans house, but Rock gets back in and hits Show with a chair shot and Rock Bottom, and Gunn covers to win. **1/2 Rock hits Show with the People's Elbow and DX applauds on the stage. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 14 2012, 04:52 PM Post #6 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown January 20th, 2000 Providence, RI In the back, DX talks. H gives The Outlaws the night off to rest for the Rumble, and then books X-Pac vs. Test for the #30 spot. H says Cactus Jack isn't here because of a family illness, and claims he's really just scared of him. They vow to make this a night to remember. The Big Show comes down to the ring, and gets on the mic. He is massively booed and says he should apologize to the fans for not being what they want, and not being something he can and never will be. He says he's realized that everyone hates him because not anyone can just be as big and tall as him and he's done it by genetics. He says he'll win the Rumble and he HATES Rocky, and challenges Rock tonight, and The Rock comes out, and talks about how Show is a massive whiner with his "BAAAW WHY R U BOOING ME WAH?!". Rock begins to walk down for a fight, and Kane and Tori come out. Tori cuts a promo saying that Kane is going to win the Rumble, and they start to walk down, but H and Stephanie come out. Triple H says they're all egomaniacs and they're fighting over who gets to lose to him at WrestleMania on April 2nd anyways. He then books a triple threat over the top rope lumberjack match with the other Rumble entrants on the floor. HORRIBLE. All three brawl, and Rock hits them both with a chair to drive them from the ring. Footage is played of the last time the WWF was in Providence, where The Acolytes fought local drunks at The Friendly Tap. Match #1: X-Pac vs. Test [Winner is #30 In The Rumble] Basically, Pac bumps around big as usual, and is a brutal motherfucker on Test's nose. Test is inoffensive as he's starting to become not awful all the time. The Outlaws run down, and Dogg distracts the ref as Gunn pushes Test off the top. The X-Factor wins the match for Pac, who is now #30. **1/2 In the back, Al Snow and Steve Blackman talk. Blackman says if Snow hits him with the Head, he'll kill him, and Snow says Steve is the partner he was looking for. Al says that this is great, because Mick has 3 personalities and Steve has no personality! I think this may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Match #2: Kurt Angle/British Bulldog vs. HEAD CHEESE Basically nothing, to establish the new team of Snow/Blackman. They're nothing special, but the skits make up for it. Blackman hits a Flying Kick off the top to Bulldog to win. * Angle is upset with another losing partner and walks out on Bulldog. Match #3: Matt Hardy vs. D-Von Dudley The partners and Terri are at ringside again and Jeff is selling injuries from RAWR IS RWAR. Cole announces that Hardyz vs. Dudleyz in a Tables Match will occur at the Rumble. They do some cool offense for 2 minutes, until Bubba pulls Matt out and attacks him after he hit D-Von with the Twist of Fate. DQ is called. *3/4 Bubba sends Jeff into the crowd and hits the ref with a chair BECAUSE FUCK YOU REFEREE. D-Von takes Matt to the stage and Bubba sets 2 tables up on the ground below. They prepare to kill Matt, but Jeff runs up with a chair, and hits Bubba in the face, and he has a great bump off the stage through the tables! Jeff then puts D-Von on another table, and Matt hits a FLYING LEGDROP OFF THE STAGE THROUGH THE TABLE! THAT RULED! Meanwhile, The New Age Outlaws go into the Friendly Tap. As opposed to The Acolytes, they let the fans buy them drinks. In the back, Crash complains to Hardcore that he lacks competition as the greatest super heavyweight in the WWF. Hardcore snaps on him and throws him out of the locker room and says he has to focus. He falls into Viscera, and then challenges him to a fight, and Visc says he'd love to whip his ass tonight. Match #4: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Chris Jericho/Hardcore Holly/Chyna w/ The Kat This is alright for 3 minutes. Mostly Jericho in, so it's at least ok. Chyna's only offense is a low blow, furthering my theory that the entire character is Vince shitting on the women's rights movement. The ref, for some reason, calls a DQ when all three attack Rikishi in the corner while Too Cool is out on the floor. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. *1/2 Post-match, Holly eats the Banzai Drop. Rikishi and Too Cool dance. At The Friendly Tap, The Outlaws beat the shit out of the dumbass bartender who says The Acolytes will take the titles. In the back, The Acolytes decide to go get a drink. AW SHIT. Before the next match, Albert gets on the mic and he says Bossman taught him that there's no cheating unless you're caught and how to kick a man when he's down, but now he'll teach Bossman how to take an asskicking. Match #5: Prince Albert vs. Big Bossman AWESOME 3 MINUTES. This was a pretty violent and awesome brawl, as they beat the shit out of each other, and it was mostly Albert being awesome. They brawl on the floor and shove the ref down, and he calls a double DQ. THESE FUCKING REFS TONIGHT. GODDAMNIT. **1/4 Officials have to separate the two again. In the back, The Rock cuts an awesome promo as usual. Most notably, "On one hand you have a huge, statuesque retard who you can never understand when he speaks. On the other hand, you have Kane." Match #6: Crash Holly vs. Viscera THE MOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE~ interrupts Visc's music again. This is not bad. Visc sells well for Crash's offense, and there's a great chance that Crash might win, before he gets killed with a Liger Bomb and a Splash for the big man to win. ** The same Austin update from Raw is aired. Match #7: Edge vs. Gangrel w/ Luna Lawler says Edge is rumored to be one of the judges involved in the swimsuit competition. So Edge and Gangrel do moves for 90 seconds before Edge hits a dive. Gangrel is thrown in, and Luna tries to sway Edge's favor for the Rumble. The rest of the women involved....and Mae Young come down to do the same and Mae forces a kiss on Edge, who is counted out. 3/4* At The Friendly Tap, The Acolytes arrive and half the bar leaves in fear after last time. They decide to forget about it and just drink. When we come back from break, they spot the Outlaws and mock them. The two brawl in the bar, and some locals try and get revenge on the Acolytes for last time, allowing the Outlaws to bail. Faarooq points out a Boston Red Sox beer ad light thing, which obviously offends them because fuck the Red Sox, so Bradshaw throws a chair into it to break it. Back at the arena, all the lumberjacks are in place. Match #8: The Rock vs. The Big Show vs. Kane w/ Tori [Over The Top Rope Lumberjack Match] This is generally okay, with a few good spots. Mostly standard filler fare though. Show easily tossed Rock over to advance that, but he ran back in and hit the Rock Bottom. Kane then tossed out Show. *3/4 Everyone brawled in the ring to hype the Rumble. In the back, X-Pac finally makes up with H and Steph and they all hug. He leaves and everyone is happy. Triple H and Stephanie come down to the ring. H compares the coming Rumble to last year's, and shows footage of Mankind/Rock with the chair shots and talks about how Foley's family were in the front row. He talks about Foley's kids, and how he'll love to go to his evil place, and CACTUS JACK COMES OUT TO THE STAGE BAH GAWD! He says his kids suffered enough last year and would not be at the Rumble or watching on TV, but it's because he doesn't want them to see what he'll become and disturbed at them seeing what he'll do to him, and that he'll be loving it. Cactus then promises thumbtacks and will turn H into the world's largest pincushion. They brawl around the ring, and Jack hits a Piledriver on the table and hits H in the face with a chair, and Triple H is bleeding from the mouth. He holds up the WWF Title to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 15 2012, 12:18 AM Post #7 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho/Chyna, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 ![]() WWF ROYAL RUMBLE 2000 JANUARY 23RD, 2000 MADISON SQUARE GARDEN NEW YORK, NY Kurt Angle comes out and gets on the mic before his match. He says he's proud to be here tonight and in a building this famous, it deserves a true champion performing in it. And we know if we wait for Patrick Ewing and the New York Knicks to bring home a title, we'll probably be waiting forever. It's true! hahaha yeah. He says even if it's just for one night, he has decided to be their champion, AND HIS OPPONENT IS TAZZ! YEAH! GIGANTIC POP! Match #1: Kurt Angle vs. Tazz This was a great 3 minutes. They throw each other around and Angle continues to improve, now starting to throw some decent punches and he tries a Flying Forearm for the first time. Tazz goes nuts with Suplexes at the end, and he puts on the Tazzmission and Kurt passes out. ** Kurt gets stretchered out post-match. This put over Tazz HUGE, although they then almost immediately proceeded to drop the ball. In the back, Cole interviews the Hardy Boyz and Terri and he shows clips. Terri goes to say something, but Jeff stops her and says this is too dangerous and that she needs to stay in the back. Matt says everyone knows the Dudleys are extreme and the masters of tables. He says they're going to put the Dudleys through tables or they're going to die trying. The Dudley Boyz come out for their match, and Bubba gets on the mic. He asks D-Von if he can believe how ass backwards the people in NYC are. He says they actually choose for those pretty boy punks, The Hardy Boyz, but they have the nerve to boo a person, the greatest pitcher in history, his new hero, JOHN ROCKER! D-Von says if they were smart, they would elect John Rocker as their mayor so he could clean up this miserable city. Match #2: The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz [Tables Match] This is maybe the best laid out gimmick spotfest in WWF history. Only other contenders are the other TLC matches and the first MITB match. Non stop insanity for 10 minutes, but everything is super crisp and coherent and they have one of the hottest crowds ever. Pretty much every minute has something insane, be it a chair shot a crazy Hardy bump, table spot, etc. Jeff takes a table chucked at his head off of a Railrunner try, but then Bubba is out first after the Event Omega off a ladder and the top rope to the floor through a table. Not only is there no wasted time, but they fill time between the spots really well. Matt gets put through one with a Superbomb, and yeah. The finish is pretty famous, as they fight to the crowd, and Jeff does a Swanton Bomb off one of the balconies to D-Von through a table to win. **** In the back, Angle is revived and says he's still undefeated if that was a choke. I'm just not gonna review the swimsuit competition. I refuse to watch it. Mae Young shows her tits. I refuse to watch it again. THE COACH IS AT THE NEWLY OPENED WWF NEW YORK. GO THERE. BUY FOOD AND MERCH. Match #3: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Chyna [c] vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This happens for a while. It could have been much worse considering. Chyna makes the Triple H Corner Bump look even worse than when he does it, so clearly it's not just size that makes H's version look like shit. Still, nobody's doing it better than 1995 Shawn Michaels, so everyone should stop trying unless you're like Dolph Ziggler and you're willing to bump yourself to an early grave for some attention from the company. Jericho beats Bobcore with the Lionsault to win his title for himself. **1/4 In the back, Cole interviews The Rock, and he asks if The Big Show actually thinks he's going to walk in and throw him out to win the Royal Rumble, before clarifying that he wipes a monkey's ass with what The Big Show thinks. He says he hopes The Big Show makes it to the last two in the ring, so The Rock guaran-damn-tees to win the Royal Rumble and as sure as The Rock has a brahma bull tattooed on his arm is as sure as he's going to WrestleMania and being the best damn WWF Champ there ever was, if you smell what The Rock is cooking. Match #4: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. The Acolytes [WWF Tag Team Championship] This was a lot of fun for 3 minutes as well. The Outlaws get beat up a lot and then there is a ref bump. X-Pac runs down to interfere, but also gets killed, and Gunn hits a Fameasser on Bradshaw out of nowhere for the win. ** DAT H/CACTUS HYPE VIDEO. Match #5: Triple H [c] vs. Cactus Jack [WWF Championship - Street Fight] Hilarious notion early on as JR calls Triple H the greatest technician to hold the WWF Title, because I guess he's forgotten Bob Backlund, Bret Hart, and Ric Flair. It's less ridiculous a claim than it would be if said today when guys like Eddie, Punk, Jericho, Angle, Brock, etc. have also held the belt, but Triple H: Great Technical Wrestler is one of the more hilarious WWF perpetrated myths ever. Right up there with Shawn Michaels: Greatest In-Ring Performer. So yeah, this is undisputedly great. They tell a completely different story in the ring than on commentary, which is fucked up. JR and King keep talking about Triple H digging down and finding his sadistic place, but the story in the ring is about how he's the consummate survivor, taking advantage of the littlest things and managing to stay alive long enough to do so amid a ridiculously violent beating. Triple H controls for a little bit, but it's hardly sadistic or new for him. He uses chair shots and steps. He does handcuff Cactus a bit in a nice callback spot, and Rock comes out to hit a chair shot and Cactus is unhandcuffed. Mostly though, the big stuff Triple H uses is stuff Jack himself introduces. The barbed wire 2x4, the steps, and finally, the thumbtacks. If you're on here, chances are that you know how this goes and ends. Cactus kicks out of one Pedigree, being the first to ever do that (I think), and then H hits one onto the tacks for the win. ****1/4 Triple H is almost stretchered out, but Jack pushes it back into the ring. H gets up in the ring and Cactus hits him with the barbed wire 2x4 again before leaving. At WWF NEW YORK~, Linda McMahon is hanging out. Cole interviews her about the McMahon-Helmsley Era and what the response of the other McMahons is, and Linda says she'll handle it the McMahon way when the time comes. Match #6: THE 2000 ROYAL RUMBLE~ -#1 is D'Lo Brown -#2 is Grandmaster Sexay -Good opening run -#3 is Headbanger Mosh, with ridiculous tit cones. -TAKA and Funaki try to run in, but are quickly tossed out. -#4 is Christian. -#5 is Rikishi -Rikishi immediately eliminates Mosh and then Christian, and soon D'Lo. -Sexay tried to avoid fighting, and they dance. -#6 is Scotty 2 Hotty, and all three dance. -Rikishi then clotheslines them both and tosses them out! ![]() -Rikishi waits by himself. -#7 is Steve Blackman -After an initial flurry, he also eats the Rikishi Driver and is thrown out. -#8 is Viscera -Really cool power vs. power, fat vs. fat stuff happens. It takes 3 Superkicks from Rikishi, but Viscera is tipped out. -#9 is Big Bossman -He refuses to get in, because he's smart. Literally, he refuses to get into the ring at all. -#10 is Test -Test attacks Bossman on the floor and throws him in -#11 is British Bulldog to ruin this -Test hits a great Big Boot on BBM. -#12 is Gangrel -Horrible roster here right now -TAKA and Funaki run back out, and TAKA takes the insane face-bump to the floor that is replayed all night. -#13 is Edge -Bossman dies on the Bonzai Drop -#14 IS BOB MOTHERFUCKING BACKLUND SHIT YEAH~. -FUCK YOUR SUMMER VACATION. BACKLUND '00 -Everyone in the ring then eliminates Rikishi . -Backlund rules shit, hitting Bulldog right in the eye with the back of his ankle. -#15 is Chris Jericho, who quickly eliminates Backlund. -BOOOOOOOO FUCK YOU JERICHO. -#16 is Crash Holly. -Edge spanks Crash for some reason -#17 is Chyna, who immediately goes for Jericho. -She suplexes him off the apron, which is clearly mostly Jericho's work anyways in the lifting. -In typical woman form, she celebrates too soon and Bossman pushes her out to the floor. -FUCK YEAH BOSSMAN -#18 is Faarooq -The Posse runs out and attacks him. They get disposed of, but the distraction allows Bossman to throw out Faarooq. -#19 is Road Dogg -#20 is Al Snow -Dogg finally disposes of Bulldog. -#21 is Val Venis, and is immediately awesome with his offense -Everyone begins to try and work over Test and Bossman, who have been in the longest. -Except for Road Dogg, who's decided to lie near the bottom ropes in the corner in the fetal position. -#22 is Prince Albert. -Edge runs at Al Snow and Val near the ropes, and they both toss him out and Edge is gone. -#23 is Hardcore Holly -#24 is The Rock -He quickly eliminates Bossman via lots of punches. -Lots of people gang up on Rock, not liking being called jabronis. -#25 is Billy Gunn. 0Rock hits a DDT on Crash, and promptly throws him out. -#26 is The Big Show -Show immediately tosses Test and Gangrel. -Show and Rock continue to find each other to fight amongst all the bodies. -#27 is Bradshaw -The Posse tries to jump another Acolyte. Bradshaw tosses them all out, but The Outlaws team up to throw out Bradshaw. -Faarooq comes down, and the Acolytes beat the Posse to the back. -#28 is Kane -Kane immediately catches Val by the throat and tosses him out :(. -#29 is The Godfather -Kane clotheslines Albert out. -Funaki comes out and is again eliminated. -#30 is X-Pac -Kane throws Holly out. FINALLY. -Show throws out Godfather -More X-Pac/Kane stuff, while Rock throws Al Snow out. -It's down to DX, Rock, Show, and Kane. -Gunn throws out Road Dogg behind his partner's back, but is soon sent out via an uppercut by Kane. -FINAL FOUR: ROCK, BIG SHOW, X-PAC, & KANE -Kane and the Outlaws brawl to the back, distracting the refs, and X-Pac is thrown out by Rock. -As the refs weren't there, they saw nothing, so Pac goes back in. A Kane/Show battle of giants occurs, and Kane slams Show. Then he turns around into a Spinning Heel Kick from Pac, and Kane is gone. -HOLY SHITFUCK X-PAC IN THE FINAL THREE COME ON PAC! -Show press-slams X-Pac out. :(. That made me sad as a kid and now -As everyone saw coming, Rock and Big Show are the final 2. -Rock hits the People's Elbow but can't lift Show to throw him over the top, so Show hits a Chokeslam. He gets too arrogant though, and Rock hangs onto the ropes while Show runs to dump him and Show's feet hit the floor. ROCK WINS ROCK WINS ROCK WINS BAH GAWD KING. Good Rumble, but really boring and meandering at parts as the outcome was never in doubt and they lacked the roster to have enough cool stuff to do otherwise. A victim of the stuff that plagued 1999, except without a storyline in the match, and a slightly better roster than in 1999. The only Rumble with more of an obvious winner and with more blatant downtime would be 1998, although that may change when I see 2012 again and see how much downtime that has. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 19 2012, 12:18 AM Post #8 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War January 24th, 2000 Philadelphia, PA Triple H & Stephanie come out to open the show and his forehead is bandaged. Stephanie puts H over for going through hell last night and says the WWF Title should never have been defended in such a barbaric match, but only Triple H could do it, and H gets on the mic. He talks about how much more violent he was than Jack, which is obviously total shit, but heels lie. He says to not expect Cactus Jack here tonight or maybe ever again, and moves on to WrestleMania in 10 weeks, and says he's now going to talk about The Rock. Instead, The Big Show comes out and down to the ring, and gets on the mic. He says he and Triple H dislike each other, and Triple H has been ducking that rematch for weeks now, but he was robbed at the Rumble because Rock's feet hit before his. He asks for a favor, that being that if he can show that Rock's feet hit first, he books Rock vs. Big Show with the winner going to WrestleMania. Triple H says to show him the proof, so The Rock comes out to the stage and says there is no Instant Replay in the WWF to stop Big Show's crying like a little girl, and is going to WrestleMania to become the best damn WWF Champ there ever was. Triple H says nobody can be him, but he likes that Rock tries, and then books Triple H/The Big Show vs. The Rock and a partner of his choosing, if anyone even wants to tag with Rock after he called everyone a jabroni two weeks ago. And if not, it's a handicap match. Rock says he doesn't need it or want it, and if someone wants in, cool, but if not, he'll still find a way to make these two candy asses smell what The Rock is cooking. In the back, Crash and Hardcore stand outside the women's locker room. Crash says that Chyna cost him the IC Title and that he should get revenge, unless he doesn't have the sack to do it. Hardcore takes offense and walks right in to many screams. Chyna comes out and calls him a coward for having to do that. He says she cost him the IC Title, and she laughs, so he punches her right in the face. Chris Jericho comes from behind, since I guess he's changing there too now, and attacks Holly, and officials need to break it up. Hardcore gets up, and Crash laughs at him, so Bobcore punches him and leaves. In the back, Al Snow tries to get Blackman to dress up as a vampire for their gimmick, since he already has the personality of a dead guy. He turns that down, so Al tries to get him to bring out a wheel of cheese, so they can be named Head Cheese and says they'll be over in Wisconsin. He leaves, and Al asks if that's a no. Match #1: Edge & Christian vs. Head Cheese This is a lot of fun for the 90 seconds it goes. Blackman killing flippy dudes is fun, but then when Head Cheese hits Edge with a Legdrop version of the Demolition Decapitation, but Edge is injured by it, so they stop the match. *3/4 Edge is revived and helped to the back. In the back, Crash refuses to come out with Hardcore, saying he has stuff to do and a new tag partner to fetch. Match #2: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This happened, and Jericho really tried his best. Chyna comes out for revenge, so Bobcore hits her again. Jericho gets tied up in the ropes so Bobcore can get a chair, and as the ref tried to help Jericho out of the ropes, Chyna gets in and Pedigrees him on the chair. Jericho finally gets free and hits the Lionsault to win. ** Chyna hands Jericho the title and raises his hand, and he is weirded out. In the back, Cole interviews the Hardy Boyz and asks if they're 100%. Jeff says it's time to forget about the pain and think about the titles. Matt says they've always defied the odds, and then the Dudleys come over. D-Von says they beat them at their own game, and they took the Dudley Boyz to the extreme. Bubba says they're gonna do something they've never done before, and they offer handshakes. Matt and Jeff shake their hands and walk off. Bubba then says if they need help, don't be afraid to call for them tonight. Match #3: Too Cool vs. Crash Holly/Viscera Another enjoyable 3 minutes. Scotty and Sexay did a great job making Viscera's offense look amazing. Crash kept trying to help Viscera when he had the match well under control and as a result, he kept fucking stuff up. Too Cool hits Crash with the Death Sentence, but Viscera breaks the pin with a Fat Man Legdrop to Sexay and puts Crash on top to win. ** A video airs on the history of X-Pac & Kane. Really great video. I love that for once in one of these heartwarming big man/little man teams, it was the smaller guy who turned. I mean, they never should have broken up since it was the in-ring peak of both of their careers probably, but whatever. Match #4: X-Pac vs. Kane w/ Tori This was a fun match. X-Pac takes huge bumps for 4-5 minutes, before then giving Tori the crotch chop and yelling to suck it. Kane snaps at this, but X-Pac runs and kisses Tori on the floor. Kane goes to help her, but X-Pac grabs a chair and hits Kane for the DQ. **1/4 X-Pac again crotch chops at Tori, but Kane sits up and X-Pac bails. In the back, Kane and Tori storm into the office and demand to know where X-Pac is, but H and Steph say he just left. Match #5: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri [WWF Tag Team Championship] This was great! The Dudley Boyz come out early on to watch with tables on the floor, and they continually argue with the Outlaws. Anyways, these teams work amazingly together, and both teams are masters of getting a lot out of these 3-6 minute long Attitude Era tag matches on TV. Matt begins to show his future potential for selling an injury. Jeff has a great hot tag while also selling the injuries from the Rumble. They hit the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb, BUT BUBBA PULLS THE REF OUT AND HITS HIM FOR A DQ! BOO! **3/4 They quickly hit Jeff with the 3D, and then one on Matt. They pull a table in, and Terri tries to stop it. They let go of the Hardyz, and grab her. This features a classic Bubba line of "WHY WOULD YOU PUNCH HER IN THE FACE WHEN YOU CAN PUT HER THROUGH A TABLE?!" AND BUBBA SUPERBOMBS TERRI THROUGH A TABLE! Back from break, EMTs and medics load Terri onto a stretcher and the Hardyz leave with her. Kurt Angle comes out and gets on the mic. He says that was bad and disgraceful, but not NEARLY as bad and disgraceful as the choke hold that Tazz put on him at the Royal Rumble last night. He says it's okay, because Tazz has no integrity and doesn't know any better. Tazz comes out to a HUUUUUUUGE pop, which should not be surprising at all. They fight, AND TAZZ AGAIN CHOKES OUT ANGLE! FUCK YEAH TAZZ! The mutants go nuts for Tazz, and it is literally all downhill from here. In the back, Cole asks Rock who his partner is. Rock says he's looking at him, and he would go out and beat both their jabroni candy asses by himself. Match #6: The Acolytes vs. D'Lo Brown/The Godfather w/ Hos This was better than it had any right to be, since Godfather was in for all of 30 seconds. D'Lo gets the shit beaten out of him by the Acolytes and gets to show off a little offense too. Godfather tags out after his hot tag, so that D'Lo can then also eat the pinfall after the Clothesline From Hell. **1/4 Jerry Lawler is in the ring, and The Kat, Jackie, Ivory, Luna, B.B., and Mae Young w/ Moolah come out to decide the winner of the Rumble swimsuit contest. Terri, obviously, cannot be here. Mae is the winner, and the crowd boos horribly. Mae says at least hers are real, prompting another big catfight. Mae then tries to strip again, but the refs, Moolah, and Mark Henry stop her. Coach is at WWF NEW YORK to plug it. Match #7: Test vs. The Big Bossman This is all of 30 seconds, before Stevie Richards comes out looking like a mini Test, or Testcito, and attacks Bossman for the DQ. 1/4* He tries to shake Test's hand, but Test hits a Pumphandle Slam. Everyone comes out for the handicap match, BUT FUCK THAT, BECAUSE RIKISHI COMES OUT TO BE ROCK'S PARTNER! AWESOME! Match #8: The Rock/Rikishi vs. Triple H/The Big Show w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley Fun match. Rikishi vs. Big Show rules the first time as do their power vs. power spots, but they won't stay that way since they run that match up into the ground in the first half of 2000. Rock vs. Triple H is great as usual. Rock/Show isn't much, but Rock is a good FIP. Rikishi has a great hot tag, but then before it can become anything special, the Outlaws come out to attack Rikishi for the DQ. **1/2 They attack Rikishi on the floor, and Triple H and Big Show beat on The Rock in the ring, AND CACTUS JACK COMES OUT WITH A 2X4! He cleans house with it, and Rock drives off Big Show too. Rikishi fights off the Outlaws, and the three babyfaces celebrate in the ring. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 22 2012, 12:14 AM Post #9 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown January 27th, 2000 Baltimore, MD In the back, Al Snow gives Steve Blackman a set of bunny ears and presents a team name of Snow Bunnies. Steve is still displeased and serious and he throws them off, and walks away and tells Al to win his match. Match #1: Billy Gunn vs. Al Snow If Snow wins, HEAD CHEESE~ gets a title shot on Raw. Horribly boring match for the 2 minutes it lasted. Blackman runs down with the kendo stick, and Gunn takes it. He hits both of them with the stick, causing the DQ, so Head Cheese gets a title shot. Weird way to go about that. * In the back, Triple H and Stephanie plot after how Raw ended. He says the Rock and Rikishi alliance ends tonight, since they'll be facing each other in the main event. Big Show comes in with photographs of Rock hitting first, which we only see the back of on camera. Triple H says they're too fuzzy, but if he can get an eyewitness saying Rock hit first, then the match is made. However, he needs some favors from Show tonight, and tells him to get his gear on. Cactus Jack comes out to the ring with a lead pipe, and says he would like to discuss the Royal Rumble. He says it doesn't matter if you win or lose, but it's how you maim The Game! HA! He challenges H to another round, but Stephanie comes down to the ring. She asks what the point is, since Triple H already beat Cactus at his own game, so her husband refused to come out. Cactus says it's unfortunate that there won't be another heir, seeing as it's impossible for her to breed with a man who has no balls. She slaps him, and he restrains himself, but asks her to play a game called "Slap Me Again, And See What Happens". She bails out, and Cactus says to tell Triple H he wants him one more time. In the back, Hardcore Holly tells Crash that all the family members think they need to end the spat and get back together. Crash says he's happy with Viscera and they're undefeated, so Hardcore says he'll take out Vis then and he'll have to team with him. Earlier tonight, Edge and Christian cut a promo saying they'd beat The Dudleyz for what they did on Raw. Match #2: Edge/Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz Really fun 5-6 minute formula tag. E & C are pissed off so it starts hot. The Dudleyz take over and the crowd fucking HATES them, in a good way. Took a while to get going, but after the hot tag to Edge, everything picked up. Christian hits the Springboard Triangle Plancha to Bubba on the floor, and Edge hits D-Von with the Spear to win. **3/4 Post-match, they hit Edge with the 3D. Christian comes back in and also eats the 3D. They set up a table on the floor, and put Edge on it. Bubba gets Christian on the apron and Powerbombs him onto Edge and through the table! Bubba again goes into his orgasmic looking trance after putting someone through a table. In the office, Kane barges in and demands X-Pac tonight. H and Stephanie say he's not here, but Kane can fight him on Raw. That is, if he beats The Big Show tonight. Match #3: Hardcore Holly vs. Viscera This sure fucking happened. Crash comes out to watch and Bobcore loses to a Samoan Drop. 1/2* Crash looks concerned and attacks Viscera. The Hollys beat him up and clothesline him out to the floor. In the office, Big Show takes his pictures back from H and warns H not to forget that he's doing him a favor tonight. Match #4: The Big Show vs. Kane w/ Tori Slow and plodding and dull, as opposed to their one really fun match at the end of 1999 and then their all time technical classic in spring 2006. X-Pac runs down and Kane attacks, but Big Show saves and attacks Kane. Triple H and Billy Gunn then also run down and it's a 4 on 1 on Kane. DQ at that point is obvious. *1/2 They beat him up on the floor and in the ring and is tied to the ringpost while sitting in the corner. X-Pac has a story to tell called The X-Pac & Tori Christmas Story, and tells about how Tori seduced him over Christmas and she loved it, likes it rough, etc. Pac tells Tori to do whatever the hell she wants now, AND TORI KISSES X-PAC BAH GAWD KING! Kane is irate, but cannot move, and has been turned on again. DX leaves, now including Tori. During break, Kane left the arena completely heartbroken. He walks like Charlie Brown in a depression. I assume when he gets home, he will just lie face-down on the floor and not move for several hours. Match #5: The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Ho's vs. Too Cool This is not much, but is very entertaining. After 2 minutes, Godfather realizes that everyone just wants to dance. So he invites the ho's in, and the match becomes a dance party. I have no idea what to rate this or what the decision is. *3/4 Mark Henry and Mae Young come out to join the festivities of joy, AND MAE ANNOUNCES SHE'S FUCKING PREGNANT YOU'RE KIDDING ME OH GODDAMNIT RUSSO I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE?! THE SHOWS WERE WELL BOOKED AND NOT HALF AS RETARDED YOU MOTHERFUCK I KNOW YOU'RE BACK FIGHT ME COME AND FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW. GET OUT. I KNOW YOU LEFT WCW AND CAME BACK SECRETLY TO WRITE PORTIONS OF THE FIRST THREE MONTHS OF WWF 2000. FUCK YOU AGAIN. FUCK YOU TWICE. Oops, sorry. Anyways, everyone in the ring is horrified, and rightfully so. In the back, The Posse talks shit on the announcement and Taz walks in front of them. They give him shit about how he's a midget, so he challenges all three of them to a fight. Actually, he challenged all tree of them, but I'm assuming he meant three. GONNA BE A ROCKETBUSTAH. Match #6: Test [c] vs. Gangrel w/ Luna [WWF Hardcore Championship] This immediately goes to the back, and is not very good, at all. Nothing really brutal or new, and neither man is exactly lighting the world on fire here. The best part in a comedic sense was that Luna was bumping better than either Test or Gangrel. Test hit the Diving Elbow off a small balcony onto Gangrel on a pile of boxes to retain. *1/2 In the back, The Posse argues over who will go first. Match #7: Tazz vs. The Mean Street Posse Cole refers to Tazz as a scrapper. Goddamnit. He basically destroys the Posse, and Gas taps to the Tazzmission. *1/2 Angle runs down and attacks Tazz. He hits the Angle Slam, and chokes Tazz out in revenge. And the downward progression begins. In the back, Crash tells Hardcore not to be jealous when he does what he couldn't, and he wins the IC Title. Chyna comes out with her goddamned unnecessary bazooka, that debuts here. Jericho then cuts a promo, noting that Crash bears a striking resemblance to Elroy Jetson. Match #8: Chris Jericho [c] w/ Chyna vs. Crash Holly w/ Hardcore Holly [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This is entertaining for the fact that unlike his cousin, Crash actually bumps around and stuff and is not a boring sack of useless shit, and meshes really well with Jericho. Hardcore is, however, awesome on the floor with a great sounding belt shot to Jericho followed immediately by kicking that plastic amazon right in the goddamn face. If only he could do shit like that in the ring, then he wouldn't be a fucking parasitic blight on an otherwise 99% flawless 2000 roster. Jericho recovers though, and the Walls retains the title. **1/2 Chyna hands Jericho the title and raises his hand, and Lawler and Cole imply that she wants to fuck Jericho. Match #9: The Rock vs. Rikishi This was kind of weird and totally non-WWF like at all in how logical and deep it was. One of those matches based on who's higher ranked, as Rock gets a majority of the offense, but both cannot hit any of his finishes, nor trusts his normal offense to make Rikishi to stay down long enough for the People's Elbow. Rikishi's offense is all gotten on his power or weight, and there's a minor botch where Rikishi doesn't get up high enough for the Rock Bottom, and it looks like Rock couldn't lift him. A 2nd attempt works, but they work it as Rock took too much energy from himself on the 2 tries, so he can't cover. A ref bump happens, and then Rikishi takes over and hits the Banzai Drop. He has the match won, but the ref slowly gets up to see Big Show come in and attack both men for the DQ. Rock still looks like the top babyface, and Rikishi looks great. *** Show lays out Rikishi and Chokeslams Rock. Triple H runs down and hits Rikishi with the Pedigree. Stephanie comes down with the WWF Title, and Too Cool tries for the save, but are quickly disposed of with the Pedigree and Double Chokeslam. All three pose in the ring to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 18 2012, 07:46 PM Post #10 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: The Kat, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War January 31st, 2000 Pittsburgh, PA FUCK YEAH USA VERSION! NO EDITING! In the back, Steve Blackman tells Al Snow that he's sick of his ideas and they have a title match to focus on. Snow says he has one more, and it's Snow Storm. He gives Blackman an umbrella and a parka, and says to bundle up for the SNOW STORM! Blackman throws it off and says to get serious. On the way to the ring for the opening match, Al Snow says hello to four friends in the front row. Their names? CHRIS BENOIT. EDDIE GUERRERO. DEAN MALENKO. PERRY SATURN. AND THIS IS WHERE 2000 PICKS UP. JR brings up them walking out on WCW and keeps calling them radicals and says they have yet to sign WWF contracts despite negotiation. Match #1: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. Head Cheese [WWF Tag Team Championship] The match isn't much, Dogg is the only one trying. Best part is a sign in the front saying "YOU ARE HEELS". Dogg gets knocked out near the Radicalz, and he gets up and shoves Benoit, so they all attack Road Dogg for the DQ! *1/2 Billy Gunn joins in and Gunn gets hit with an Exploder from Saturn in the ring and Eddie's Frog Splash, and Dogg eats a German Suplex from Malenko, and Benoit's Diving Headbutt. They all celebrate, and the crowd loses their shit. In the back, all four shake hands and hug with Cactus Jack. He welcomes them to the show and says to have a good time, and they're guests of his tonight. Hilariously, Foley asks what it was like to beat up a guy and actually see people in the audience for it, and they all laugh. TONIGHT: ROCK VS. ANGLE, H VS. KANE FOR THE WWF TITLE In the back, Triple H and Stephanie tell The Outlaws when they complain that this seems more like a personal problem than a DX problem. Big Show comes on with the security guy from the Rumble who says that he saw Rock's feet hit first. Triple H says Show could have threatened him to say that so it doesn't really prove anything, and he wants video proof. Show says he'll get video by Thursday, and if H doesn't give him the match then, he'll hurt him. The Outlaws then mock H, saying that this sounds like a personal problem more than a DX problem. Match #2: Christian vs. D-Von Dudley Edge and Bubba are at ringside. This is another enjoyable 3-4 minute movefest. They're good enough at it by this point, so it's acceptable. Bubba tries to distract the ref so that D-Von can cheat, so Edge sneaks in and hits a really shitty Superkick to D-Von. Christian hits his Falling Reverse DDT for the win. ** Post-match, Bubba and D-Von attack Edge and Christian. They bring a table and a chair into the ring, and Christian eats the WASSUP Headbutt. They put Edge on the table and put the chair on top of him, but The Hardy Boyz run out to make the save. Edge gets off the table, and Matt stops D-Von on the top. MATT HITS A SUPER DDT OFF THE TOP TO D-VON THROUGH THE TABLE! YEAH! Edge and Christian put Bubba on a table on the floor, AND JEFF HITS A SWANTON OFF THE TOP TO BUBBA THROUGH THE TABLE! In the back, The Radicals are hanging out. The Mean Street Posse walks by and tries to big league them and they welcome them to the WWF, so they beat the shit out of the Posse. Match #3: The Big Show vs. Too Cool The Big Show now has short hair and a weird mustache/goatee deal so that he looks like a tall fat Colon. This is a short squash for Show. Too Cool dances around a bit, but it doesn't stop Show from destroying them. Scotty is beaten with the Chokeslam. 1/2* On the tron, The Rock is standing by in the back. He says he was wrong, because The Big Show is no longer a long haired gigantic piece of monkey crap, but he is now a short haired gigantic piece of monkey crap. He says what he should do instead of demanding a title shot is to go back to SuperCuts and get his $5 back, jabroni. He says to stop bitching and to listen to the people chanting The Rock's name, and then on to their Olympic Hero. He says he runs his mouth about how he beat The Rock, and he has never, and the Rock means NEVER, beaten The Rock. he says tonight, he's going to win a gold medal for kicking his candy ass all over his hometown. IF YOU SMELALALALALALALALAOU WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN. Match #4: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle This gets 5 minutes, and is another preview of what they'd go on to do once Kurt became an actual really good wrestler later in the year. He continues to improve by leaps and bounds, and it's Rock in 2000, so most everything looks great and has tons of heat. They do a great interlude where Kurt gets on the mic and asks why he's being booed and says he was born 5 blocks away. Rock punches him down and gets the mic and says "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU WERE BORN!" Kurt bails out before they can really get going with more than the basics. Tazz rolls him back in, and Rock hits the Pinebuster and the People's Elbow to win. **1/2 Rock celebrates, and Tazz tries to clothesline Kurt, but he misses and hits Rock! In the back, The Mean Street Posse asks The Acolytes to protect them from those four radicals. They refuse until Pete Gas offers to pay them, and they empty their pockets onto the table. The Acolytes agree to protect them for money, as long as they sit in the corner and don't talk. Something wonderful just happened. In the back, The Radicals meet the midcard. D'Lo puts over Eddie's frog splash while probably also aware that he's totally fucked now. Everyone else shakes their hands. Saturn asks Godfather where the hos are at, and he pats him on the back and takes him over off screen. Match #5: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac Chyna and Tori are there. This also gets 5 minutes and is a lot of fun. They work well together as their longer PPV matches prove. Lots of crisp spots and counters in the finishing run. Chyna interferes despite Jericho having it clearly well in hand, which allows Tori to hit Jericho with the IC Title belt from the apron, and X-Pac hits the X-Factor for the win. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. X-PAC RULES. **3/4 Chyna punches Tori on the floor to compensate for her failure. In the back, The Acolytes have put up a makeshift APA sign on the mirror, and The Dudley Boyz come in. They want protection since everyone is attacking them. Bradshaw asks for cash, and they have none, so he tries to kick them out, but Bubba says he'll write a check. Faarooq says if this bounces, then so will they. Match #6: The Kat [c] vs. Irvina [WWF Women's Championship - Snowbunny Lumberjill Match] This is short and useless. Irvina is from Intercourse, PA, which is clearly where Gene Snitsky is now from. IRVINA WINS AFTER EVERYONE INTERFERES. 45/Dog Poop AND IT'S HARVEY WHIPPLEMAN. AWESOME! All the women attack him, and this rules. In the back, Cactus Jack and THOSE FOUR RADICALS talk, and says they should make this official with a trip to the McMahon-Helmsley office. Back from break, all 5 are talking to H and Stephanie. Cactus and Triple H are talking normally after Jack wanting to maul him on SD? No, nobody remembers that? I mean, it was only 4 days ago. No? Okay, fine. Anyways, he says they WANT to work for them and this is a hell of a deal. He bitches them out for coming here without his permission and Stephanie says that rumor has it that they don't respect management. Benoit says all they want is an opportunity, and H says he'll think on it. Yes, refuse to hire the best wrestler in the world/of all time. It's amazing how much he's improved at hiring people in the last 12 years. Match #7: The Hollys vs. Viscera Yeah, so this happened. Somehow, THIS gets 5 minutes. Way way too much Bobcore for it to be of much use. Bobcore ends up holding Big Visc's feet down and Crash covers to win. At least Crash got the pin. 1/2* And then Viscera hits him with the Big Splash. God damnit. Footage airs of a JR interview with Steve Austin in a neck brace and he says he WILL come back since he already came back once. Also, he's now engaged to Debra. He predicts he'll be back in the ring in 3-4 months. Both of those worked out very well. At WWF NEW YORK~, Lillian Garcia says she's gotten word that there's a HUGE press conference on Thursday involving WWF and pro football, and that's all she could find out. This should be a sound investment. Match #8: Matt Hardy vs. Bubba Ray Dudley Jeff and D-Von are both there, and hey, everyone's fine after the big spots earlier. What the fuck? This is clearly another Russo show. This happens for 3 minutes, and the best part is JR first saying the call, "THOSE DAMN DUDLEYS". D-Von tries to toss a chair in, but Matt intercepts and hits Bubba with it for the DQ. *3/4 The Hardyz try to keep up the attack, but The Acolytes run in and kill them. Jeff dies almost on a Faarooq Spinebuster as he's now going to do in every match for the next 2 years, and Matt eats the 3D. Edge and Christian try to run down, but also get taken out by the Acolytes as part of their work, and Christian gets a 3D. The Acolytes help set up two tables on the floor, next to each other. Bubba yells that he paid them when they don't work fast enough, and after having words, they put a 3rd table on top of the 2 on the floor. They put Matt on the top table, and BUBBA POWERBOMBS JEFF OVER THE TOP THROUGH ONE TABLE AND ONTO MATT! Awesome awesome angle and spot, and one table not being broken makes for a great visual with Jeff being slumped over the side of it like a corpse. Bubba stands on the apron, looking like he's in a post-orgasmic trance again, and it's the best. In the back, Cactus tells THOSE FOUR RADICALS that Triple H isn't stupid and they'll get signed. H and Stephanie come up, and H says they're not quite ready to hang in the WWF. He brings tons of security over, and they are escorted out. Cactus says Triple H just made a huge mistake. Triple H and Stephanie come out for the main event against Kane but Kane does not come out after his music. Triple H gives Kane a 10 count to come out or he'll win by forfeit. Triple H gives up and says to just raise his hand, but Cactus Jack's music hits! He comes out and says he liked -SCENE DELETED-, Eddie, Dean, and Perry, and he thought bygones could be bygones and Triple H could do the right thing, but that was clearly a ridiculous thought. He comes in and they fight. Triple H tries to leave, but THOSE FOUR RADICALS come out, somehow free from security, and they throw Triple H back in. He gets beat up in a 5 on 1, and Jack lays him out with the WWF Title! |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 18 2012, 08:46 PM Post #11 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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Top 10 Matches - January 2000: 1. Triple H [c] vs. Cactus Jack, Royal Rumble (January 23rd) 2. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz, Royal Rumble (January 23rd) 3. Triple H [c] vs. Rikishi, Smackdown (January 6th) 4. The Rock vs. Rikishi, Smackdown (January 27th) 5. The Rock n' Sock Connection/The Acolytes vs. Triple H/X-Pac/The New Age Outlaws, Raw (January 10th) 6. The Big Show [c] vs. Triple H, Raw (January 3rd) 7. The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz, Raw (January 24th) 8. Al Snow vs. Jeff Hardy, Raw (January 3rd) 9. Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac, Raw (January 31st) 10. The Rock/The Big Show vs. Triple H/X-Pac, Smackdown (January 13th) Wrestler of the Month: The Rock (22 Points) Tag Team of the Month: The New Age Outlaws (15 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 18 2012, 10:32 PM Post #12 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Harvey Whippleman, Since 1/31/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown February 3rd, 2000 Detroit, MI Cactus Jack and Those Four Radicals come out to open the show. Cactus Jack says his goal right now is obtaining contracts for these four talented young men, since Triple H refuses to sign amazing talent because of their personal issue, which he can assure everyone is FAR from settled. He says to understand why they are they way they are, you need to understand the kind of place they used to work at, where they had to fight for any kind of recognition, and they want more out of wrestling than a paycheck, they want to work in the WWF because it's where the best competition is, and Foley says that no matter how much they won or how good they were, they weren't quite old enough for WCW. He calls out Triple H to sign these men to contracts right now, unless he's afraid of a little competition. DX comes out onto the stage, and Triple H says all those men are are average, but if they want to prove themselves, there's four of them and four of DX, so they're giving them a one day pass to the WWF to try and earn their contracts. He books X-Pac vs. Malenko, Eddie and Perry vs. the Outlaws, and himself vs. Chris Benoit! HNGH. Triple H says he was the standard bearer for excellence in the small pond, he'll give him that, but he's The Man in the WWF, and he wants to see how he can do against the best wrestler in the WWF. FUCK YEAH BENOIT VS. BENOIT! Oh... I get it. Well, it's 2000, so it's not totally asinine. He says if they can win 2 of the 3 matches, they'll get their contracts! Foley says if DX interferes in those matches, he'll have his 2x4 wrapped in barbed wire in the back, and he is literally begging him to give him a reason to use it. TONIGHT: BIG SHOW VS. RIKISHI, ROCK VS. ANGLE VS. TAZZ In the back, Patterson and Brisco talk to the Divas, and they all draw straws to see who gets to fight Harvey for the title. Jackie wins. BUY THE ROCK'S BOOK. I did a book report on this in 4th grade. Fuck yeah. In the back, Mae Young is pissed about not fighting Harvey and Mark Henry tells her to not worry about fighting when she's pregnant. He says he can feel the baby kicking, which is odd when it's been there for all of 2-3 weeks. Match #1: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Gangrel [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Chyna and Luna are there. This is not good, but it's the best Gangrel is going to do this year, since Jericho is on. Jericho pretty much shows off his big offense for 2-3 minutes. Chyna cuts off Luna's interference, and Jericho wins with the Lionsault. *3/4 Clips from Monday's interview with Steve Austin air again. In the back, Malenko is lacing up his boots. Cactus tells him to watch out for Tori when he's out there. Match #2: Dean Malenko vs. X-Pac w/ Tori This was great for just under 5 minutes. They have a back and forth spotfest, and X-Pac is working super hard against an actual great in-ring wrestler. Lots of cool counters and highspots, and Tori distracts the ref so that X-Pac can slip in a low blow from behind, and he hits the X-Factor for the win. **1/2 Those Four Radicals now must win their next two matches to get WWF contracts. In the DX locker room, everyone congratulates X-Pac, and The Big Show comes in. He says he has proof, and shows a tape on the TV in their locker room from right in front of the ring at the Rumble. It shows Rocky hitting first, and H says he has Rock at No Way Out for the #1 Contender spot at Mania. They shake hands, and Show leaves. Match #3: Harvey Whippelman [c] vs. Jacqueline [WWF Women's Championship] This is all of 15 seconds. Jackie punches Harvey, slams him, and drops an elbow for the win. Fart Tax In the back, Kevin Kelly is with The Rock and asks about the match. Firstly, finally The Rock has come back to Detroit, although there's no good reason to be excited about that. He tells Kevin to get a nice tall glass of shut up juice, and yells to go fix it. He leaves and Rock congratualtes Show on all his whining and bitching paying off with another shot at The Rock. He says Show has 7 feet, 500 pounds, but he lacks the recognized symbol of greatness, and points to his tattoo. He says it means that The Rock is the People's Champion and it means at No Way Out, he will layeth the smacketh down on his big fat candy ass. He says on to tonight with the triple threat, and going two on one with The Great One will make BOTH their asses famous. He says after al lthe smoke has cleared and the dust has settled, he's going to WrestleMania and he will go down as the best damn WWF Champion there ever was IF YA SMELLLLLAO WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN. In a restaurant, Mark Henry presents Mae with some lotion to rub on her belly to prevent stretch marks. Oh goddamnit. Stop this, now. Before the triple threat, Kurt gets on the mic and says he doesn't blame people for being upset and angry with him, and it's because your Olympic Hero has suffered his very first loss at the hands of The Rock on Monday. He says it's okay, and he's glad he's in Detroit, because if there's a town that can relate to losing, it's Detroit, MI! It's true! He says be it jobs at the factory or last year's Stanley Cup Playoffs, these people have had their share of setbacks and losses. But unlike this city, Your Olympic Hero will bounce back and overcome adversity to be their champion once again! Match #4: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle vs. Tazz Fun 5 minutes of chaos and brawling. Great throws from Angle and Tazz, big Rock bumping, and a good brawl into the crowd. Rock makes a big run at the end, and hits both men with Rock Bottoms, one after the other. The Big Show then comes out, and when The Rock goes out to fight him on the ramp, Angle puts an arm over Tazz to get his win back. **1/2 Big Show then lays out Rock with a Chokeslam on the floor. Match #5:The New Age Outlaws vs. Eddie Guerrero/Perry Saturn This is also great for the just under 5 minutes it gets. Eddie is in awesome form, taking huge bumps and being super crisp on offense. Road Dogg does well, Saturn and Gunn are trying, and this really could have been great if it had more than 5 minutes. Eddie fucks his elbow up landing on the Frog Splash on Gunn, which fucks up the planned finish, so...I guess, they decide "fuck it", and Dogg just covers him for the win to make sure they don't have jobs. Weird booking. **1/2 XFL ANNOUNCEMENT FUCK YEAH. In the back, Triple H talks to all of DX ans says he'll give Benoit a match anyways to show him the none of them are good enough or above average. In the back, Al Snow tells Steve Blackman to follow through on their bet. Steve refuses, but Al says that since they didn't get beat by the Outlaws, Steve has to do this. He walks off screen, and oh god. I'll just screencap it when he goes to the ring. ![]() Match #6: Head Cheese vs. The Hollys This isn't a good match at all, but fuck yeah Head Cheese. Al eventually has Bobcore up for the Snow Plow, but Crash tries to reverse it by hitting a Crossbody, but Al rolls through and on top of Hardcore for the pin. * Hardcore is mad, and attacks Crash again after the bell. In the restaurant, MOK gets Mae a breast pump. Everything is horrible. Match #7: Rikishi vs. The Big Show This rules for the first time. Puts Rikishi over huge, as he's able to stand there and throw Show around just like he did to him. Show hits the Chokeslam, BUT FUCKIN RIKISHI FUCKING KICKS THE FUCK OUT. YEAH! Show then hits him with a chair for the DQ. **1/2 Too Cool comes out to save their buddy, but both of them get Chokeslammed again. The Rock comes out with a chair and he hits Show in the back repeatedly with it, and he lays him out with the Rock Bottom. A highlight video airs on The Dudley Boyz and their recent table breaking shenanigans. Match #8: Chris Benoit vs. Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley This RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULES. Total 9 minute actionfest, but when they get like 20 minutes on PPV later in the year, you can't be upset with that. Benoit has something to prove, and outclasses Triple H in maycabe and in reality. Both men are crisp and take huge bumps, but Benoit introduces true G.O.A.T. level selling to the WWF beyond just taking some big bumps and collapsing a few times. One thing I didn't touch on a lot when I first did this era is how great 2000-1 Triple H was at playing Ace, which is in a hilarious contrast to when they actually pretended he was the Ace in later years, as it's only in this 18 or so months that he gets it and is able to give guys that huge kind of "victory in defeat" type of rub that a true ace like Jumbo or Benoit or Bret or Misawa or Hash or Joe or Danielson could give a guy. For the last year or 10 months since H's push to the top began, he's been presented as a technical god, and relative to WWF 1999, it's not the MOST unbelievable thing in the world. Still, it's established that he's a dude who has the best execution and can take a guy apart, and then Benoit comes in and completely dismantles H in both regards, and is INSTANTLY a top guy because of it. H has to go to a low blow to set up the Pedigree for the pin, immediately putting Benoit on the level of upper midcard/main event utility guys like Big Show. ***1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 19 2012, 03:29 PM Post #13 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Raw is War February 7th, 2000 Dallas, TX X-Pac and Tori come down to open the show, but Benoit, Eddie (with arm in sling), Malenko, and Saturn come down and run them off. They say that more than anything, they wanted contracts in the WWF, but on SD, they rolled the dice and lost, so they wanted to thank the fans and invite Cactus Jack down to thank him. Jack comes down, but before he can speak, Triple H & Stephanie come onto the stage. Stephanie says all this admiration makes her want to vomit, and H says his patience is running very thin with Cactus, and he wants this all finished. He proposes a match between them at No Way Out for the WWF Title, but this is Jack's last shot at him and the title. He says Cactus can have any match he wants, just no 2x4 in barbed wire or thumbtacks, and it has to be just them. Jack says he only sees one other option... "HELL IN THE CELL!" FUCK YEAH! Triple H is freaked out, and shakes his head, but then he talks with Stephanie. She says something and he nods. He says he'll accept but only if Foley's career is on the line. Not Cactus, or Mankind, or Dude Love, but all of them, Mick Foley in total. Jack discusses his career and says he's done it all besides one thing: Main event WrestleMania, and this is the only way that'll happen, so he accepts! Foley says if he can't beat Triple H, he doesn't want to wrestle ever again. IF ONLY. Also, if Cactus wins, H gets no rematch and it's automatically Cactus defending the title at WrestleMania, unlike what happened last year. CONTINUITY HOLY SHIT! Triple H and X-Pac now march down, and H says he wants a piece of Foley's ass right now. He tells the other 4 to either get out or show their appreciation to the man who gave them the opportunity...OR THE MAN WHO GAVE THEM THEIR CONTRACTS! AND ALL FOUR TURN ON FOLEY HOLY SHIT WHAT?! TRIPLE H AND X-PAC JOIN IN AND BEAT DOWN FOLEY! DIVING HEADBUTT! PEDIGREE! FUCK YEAH AWESOME ANGLE! In the back, Triple H talks to The Radicalz. He says the Outlaws are busy so tonight, he and Pac will team up with Benoit, Dean, and Saturn vs. Cactus Jack and any four partners he can find. Match #1: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. Edge & Christian [WWF Tag Team Championship] This is not as great as their PPV match in 1999, but it's still a great 6 minute Attitude Era TV sprint. NAO/Hardyz had cooler stuff, but it was only like 3 minutes, and this gets almost 7. The Dudley Boyz make their way out after the bell to do commentary, and that is fun. Gunn is giving a shit here, and E&C are solid white meat babyfaces. Great inventiveness on a lot of spots. Christian has an awesome hot tag, but Bubba hangsh im up on the top rope, and Dogg then hits the Pumphandle Slam for the win. *** Edge gets in and challenges the Dudleys, but they back off up the ramp. In the back, Mark Henry tells Mae that she doesn't need to go out to ringside because anything could happen to her. Kurt Angle comes out and says that he and Mark Henry have nothing in common, despite being Olympians. Because while he won the gold, and came to the WWF to embark on a stunning undefeated streak, Mark's biggest accomplishment was impregnating an 82 year old woman, which while requiring intensity, showed severe lacks of intelligence and integrity. <3 2000 Kurt. Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry I love that in response to Angle's promo, Mark comes in and uses his power for once by hurling Kurt all around. This is the best MOK's looked in the Attitude Era probably. He also takes a few great bumps on Angle's Suplexes to put him over. Mae Young comes out and hits Kurt in the back repeatedly to cut off a potentially great match with a DQ. ** ANGLE SLAM ON THE PREGNANT MAE YOUNG! AMAZING! Kurt spins around like he's won another medal and leaves. B.B. and the other EMTs come out to stretcher her out. In the back, Mae tries to show the EMTs her puppies. Thankfully this is viewed from the back unlike the Rumble. In the back, The Hollys walk and Crash asks if this is a good idea. Hardcore says that one good hardcore match victory over The Acolytes will put them on the right track again, and Crash says that maybe they should offer protection after they win tonight. Match #3: The Acolytes vs. The Hollys [Hardcore Match] This should have been fun and could have been great, but it was 2 minutes and all in the crowd, so the lighting sucked. Viscera comes out of nowhere and breaks a 2x4 on Bradshaw's back, and Crash covers to win. That makes little to no sense. *1/2 It shows how much the WWF is improving in 2000 that it took like an hour of TV time for something awful to happen. But nevermind that, because Faarooq and Bobcore keep fighting because they can. Match #4: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Viscera [WWF Intercontinental Championship] 2000 Jericho again works really well against a big guy. Jericho takes HUGE bumps for Viscera's big power spots, and frames them inside his fast paced match to both get over the big/little story and make Viscera's spots look like total game changers. Viscera has gotten lazy and doesn't bother leaving his feet for his Spinning Heel Kick, but because of that, he's accidentally doing the Jushin Liger style Koppou Kick, which is so fucking great. Jericho manages to hit a Lionsault, but to return the favor, The Hollys come out to attack for the DQ. **1/2 They beat on Jericho, but The Acolytes run out to make the save. They get rid of the Holly cousins, and they impressively hit Viscera with a Double Suplex. In the back, Cole interviews The Radicals. They say they did it because they were desperate and it was about business, and they have nothing to apologize for. Saturn said he never liked Foley to begin with. Possible homosexual. Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains. JR hypes the XFL's launch in about a year. CAN'T WAIT. Match #5 Jacqueline [c] vs. Luna w/ Gangrel [WWF Women's Championship] This was a minute long. By default, it is the best women's match of 2000 so far. Jackie wins with a shitty looking Bridging German. 1/2* Luna attacks after the bell, and Gangrel hits the Impaler on Jackie. A video airs on Tazz. In the back, Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. It is amazing. He talks about The Big Show at No Way Out, but The Rock does his FINALLY schtick first. He says he asks The Rock about WrestleMania and No Way Out and Cactus Jack, but he wants to ask him a question, and asks if he's ever had any pie. Kevin says he had apple pie earlier today, and Rock says it looks like he had ALL the apple pie, but he's talking about poontang pie. Kelly says he doesn't mean to brag, but come on. Rock stops him and says not to lie to The Rock, and he has NEVER had a piece of poontang pie. He says he has his first piece to the right, and makes Kevin wear Rock's Poontang Pie t-shirt on his head, and says not to move his head. Rock says the question is who The Rock faces at WrestleMania, but he could care less. He asks Show if he actually thinks he will stand in the way of destiny, because The Rock was MEANT to go to WrestleMania and electrify the millions (AND MILLIONS), and he was MEANT to take his big right hand, slap the fat off his ass, and shove it back in his mouth. He says on to tonight, Cactus Jack is not in a 5 on 1, because he is now in a 5 on 2! He says he's kicked DX's ass for years now and he will welcome The Radicals to The Rock's world in The Rock's way, and asks them to take their contracts, turn them sideways, and shove them straight up their candy asses. If you smell what The Rock is cooking. Match #6: The Dudley Boyz vs. D'Lo Brown/The Godfather w/ Hos This is okay for 2 minutes. Bubba injures Godfather's knee, and medics and hos check on him on the floor. D'Lo is alone, and gets beat with the 3D. *1/2 Bubba sets up a table on the floor, and D-VON GRABS B.B.! He brings her on top of the announce table and tries to Powerbomb her through the other table, but Edge and Christian run down with chairs from the crowd for the save as the Hardy Boyz also run down the ramp to save! The Dudleyz retreat up the ramp as all four guys help up B.B. WRESTLEMANIA 2000: 8 WEEKS AWAY! In the back, Cactus Jack cuts a killer promo about how he was never even supposed to be in the WWF, so he's been proving people wrong for 15 years and to not count him out tonight or at HIAC. He says he was prepared to go it alone tonight, but he's not stupid enough to turn down The Rock's help. He says he will win HIAC, because him main eventing WrestleMania is meant to be. The Rock and Cactus come out for the main event, AND RIKISHI AND TOO COOL COME OUT TO JOIN IN! YEAH! Match #7: The Rock/Cactus Jack/Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn w/ Eddie Guerrero, Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, & Tori So yeah, this is probably the hottest crowd for a TV episode ever, and they take what would have been a great TV main event and they turn it into a classic. Awesome pace, insane crowd heat, some really cool spots and counters, and everyone got to show off. Benoit's offense was a highlight, as was Rikishi's big run of offense. Just constant action, with nobody dropping the ball at any point, constantly picking up in pace, with some impressively intricate sequences, almost like WWF doing an MPro multi-man. Sexay eventually is isolated, and everyone gets to shine when in the control segment. Sexay makes the tag to Jack, but the ref misses it. Everything breaks down and H sneaks in the Pedigree to Sexay. Benoit follows up with the Diving Headbutt for the win. ****1/4 The brawl continues and The Outlaws run down with a pipe and DX/Radicals beat the shit out of everyone but the lights go out. PAUL FUCKING BEARER COMES OUT AND LEADS DOWN KANE HOLY SHITCOCK HE'S BACK. He kills a bunch of people in the ring, but Pac and H escape. FUCK YEAH. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 19 2012, 08:26 PM Post #14 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Val Venis, Since 12/12/1999 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dwayne Gill, Since 11/30/1998 WWF Smackdown February 10th, 2000 Austin, TX Kurt Angle comes out for the opening match, and gives us the all time best opening to a wrestling show ever by beginning with, "Even though I suplexed an 82 year old pregnant woman, I am still a role model for children and the elderly." He says he thought it was Mark Henry, and he had decided to treat his fans by becoming the next European Champion. He says he knows that not a lot of people in Texas know where Europe is, but it's the educational system's fault, not theirs. He says he promises to educate them once he wins the title. It's true! Match #1: Val Venis [c] vs. Kurt Angle [WWF European Championship] This is only 3 minutes, but they show a lot of chemistry together. All of Val's offense and bumping is really great looking, but Angle crotches him on the top to stop the Money Shot, and Kurt hits the Angle Slam for the win. **1/2 In the back, DX and The Radicals watch the TV. Steph is still enamored with Kurt, but snaps out of it when Triple H talks. H says it's divide and conquer tonight, and books Saturn/Sexay, Dean/S2H, and Benoit/Rikishi. Also, Outlaws vs. Cactus/Rock in a non-title match, and Kane vs. H/X-Pac. Not a bad card. Match #2: Perry Saturn vs. Grandmaster Sexay This was almost great. They got 5 minutes and everything was fast and crisp. Saturn worked over the arm with a lot of cool offense, but Sexay brought it down with his complete refusal to sell the arm even once. The ref got bumped a little, and thus didn't see Sexay's leg over the bottom rope when in the Rings of Saturn, and Sexay taps. **3/4 XFL MOTHERLOVER. Match #3: The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian This is good for the same reasons as their last match, and these teams are really great about constantly changing their match around every time. Edge gets a great hot tag, and Bubba goes down clearly faking a knee injury. Christian gets D-Von with a sunset flip, and Edge hits a Missile Dropkick to knock him down into the pin, and E & C win. **3/4 EMTs and B.B. come down to help Bubba onto a stretcher as he yells about his knee. D-Von asks if it hurts, and he sits up and says IT DOESN'T HURT, AND HE GRABS B.B.! YEAH! D-Von sets up a table in the ring, and FUCKIN SUPERBOMB TO B.B. THROUGH THE TABLE! Bubba again goes into his trance, but Edge & Christian run back down attack them and fight them off. They bail up the ramp as Edge, Christian, the refs, and EMTs check on B.B. However, D-Von then runs back in with a chair and hits them both from behind and the Dudleyz leave again. Match #4: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty 2 Hotty The first time, I came to the realization that their match at Backlash 2000 was a complete miracle and out of the ordinary for them, so it's not a surprise that this is not much. Eddie Guerrero comes out to watch as Dean destroys the knee. He does some great work to it, but Scotty also refuses to sell. Eddie shoves him off the top and Malenko puts on the Texas Cloverleaf for the win. ** Another Tazz video airs. THE MOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE. Match #5: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Rock/Cactus Jack These four are great together, and they create one of those fun 5 minute AE brawls. Gunn was trying, and the finishing run was of quality. Cactus pulls out a lead pipe like what the Outlaws used on Raw, and he hits Dogg with it, and hits the Pulling Piledriver for the win. **3/4 Match #6: Prince Albert/Jacqueline vs. Gangrel/Luna Albert! Yeah! This was not good though, unfortunately. About a minute, and Luna pins Jackie with an Impaler. 1/2* Albert hits the Baldo Bomb on Gangrel and Jackie attacks Luna until she flees. Match #7: Chris Benoit vs. Rikishi Hey, this is great! Rikishi is in his awesome 2000 super motivated run, and Benoit is Benoit. They did a great job getting over the size differential, with Benoit doing his best to try and wear Rikishi down with his high speed onslaught. The spots where Rikishi gets tossed around are super impressive. They only get 4 minutes though, and the rest of The Radicals come out to attack Rikishi for a DQ. **3/4 Too Cool runs out to save, and they run off The Radicals. It is then dancing time. In the back, Al Snow plays Blackman subliminal messages in music so that if he thinks he has a personality, he'll eventually get one. Steve turns it off, and Funaki calls him Head Cheese. Al takes it as a sign of success, and Steve walks off in disbelief. Match #8: The Hardy Boyz vs. Head Cheese This was really good for 4 minutes. Blackman again works great with the Hardys, as they do a lot of cool inventive spots together. Matt and Jeff are willing to totally die on their bumps too. Jeff has a great hot tag, but The Dudley Boyz come out, and Bubba hits Jeff with a chair. They run away, and Head Cheese hits Jeff with a Decapitation Legdrop to win. **3/4 In the back, The Hollys walk and Hardcore says this seems fishy. Crash says it's not, and that Jericho really said he'd take them both on in a No DQ match with one arm tied behind his back, and Hardcore is in again. This seems like something you should really announce ahead of time. Russo's still hanging around, isn't he? Match #9: Chris Jericho vs. The Hollys [Hardcore Match - Jericho Has One Hand Tied Behind His Back] About 20 seconds in, The Acolytes come out and beat up Crash and Bobcore. Jericho has clearly bought them for the night, and he covers Crash to win. Great angle, useless match. 1/4* In the back, Triple H gives X-Pac a pep talk and says they've both beat Kane in singles matches, so they'll destroy him tonight together. Match #10: Kane vs. Triple H/X-Pac Paul Bearer and the chicks are there. This was what it was. They bump around for Kane a bit until booking happens. Eventually, H hits Kane with a chair for the DQ. **1/4 Kane no-sells it and KILLS H and X-Pac with the chair. Stephanie tends to H, and Kane tries to hit her, but Tori takes the chair. Tori pleads with Kane as he closes in on her, and takes out refs that try and stop him. He chokes her, but doesn't hit the Chokeslam. Instead, he hits the Tombstone on Tori, and DX watches in horror from the ramp. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 19 2012, 11:04 PM Post #15 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War February 14th, 2000 San Jose, CA The Radicals come down to open the show, and then D-Generation X also comes out. Stephanie shows the footage of Tori getting Tombstoned and blames the fans for encouraging such violence because they know how simple Kane is, and says if they want suffering, they can have it. Triple H says they've been far too easy and relenting on their enemies, and books Sexay/Road Dogg, S2H/Gunn, Rikishi vs. Malenko/Saturn, ROCK VS. BENOIT FUCK YEAH HOLY SHIT, and goes on about how Kane can't just attack women because of his personal inadequacies (read: small burned cock), so he says he can have X-Pac at No Way Out in a No DQ match only if he can beat Triple H and a partner of his choosing tonight. Too Cool, Rikishi, Kane, and The Rock all come out and another big brawl occurs and DX and The Radicals bail. Match #1: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge vs. D-Von Dudley [#1 Contender's Match] Each partner is at ringside. This is a fun little spotfest in the first meeting of all three teams at once. Edge hits Juff with the Spear, but D-Von slips back in and hits the future Saving Grace for the win and the title shot at No Way Out. **1/4 In the ring, E & C and The Hardy Boyz have words with each other and Matt and Jeff walk out on them. In a hotel, Mark Henry and Mae Young book the honeymoon suite for Valentine's Day, and the desk clerk is very disturbed by this. Match #2: Road Dogg vs. Grandmaster Sexay This happened. It wasn't good or awful, it just occurred. Dogg dodged the Hip Hop Drop, and hit the Pumphandle Slam to win. *3/4 In the hotel, Mark and Mae go into the suite. GODDAMNIT STOP NOW. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. In the back, Al Snow tries to hypnotize Blackman into thinking he's exciting with a watch, and Blackman takes it and says that it looks like it's time for their match and shoves it into Al's mouth. Match #3: The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Ho's vs. Head Cheese Blackman refuses to take the ho's, which greatly upsets Al. This was not good at all. Al is talking to the hos on the floor to try and get laid, and Steve yells at him to be on the apron and D'Lo rolls up Steve for the win. 3/4* Kurt Angle comes out and says since he won the European Title, the European economy has gone up, suicide rates have gone down, and tourism has risen 16.4%. He says that in comparison, the opposite has happened to America under Chris Jericho's reign as Intercontinental Champion, and it is his duty as an American Hero and Your Olympic Hero to relieve Chris of the title so he can do what he did for Europe to America. He challenges Jericho to an IC Title match at No Way Out, and Jericho comes out. He coins the Kirk Angel name, and says Angle just put America to sleep. He says he doesn't know about an IC Title shot, but he will beat Angle's ass right now. He runs in and they fight. Jericho gets the best of it until referees break it up. Chyna comes down as Angle bails and DDTs him on the floor. What a cunt. In the hotel, Mark is under the covers waiting for Mae, who is in the bathroom and says she'll be right out. WHY IS THERE A CAMERA THERE, STOP THIS NOW. GET OUT AND GO FILM THE FUCKING NIGHT SKY. IT'S BETTER THAN THIS. GET OUT, RUSSO. YOU SNUCK BACK IN AFTER LAST WEEK'S AMAZING RAW. YOU FUCKING BITCH AND A HALF. Match #4: Chris Benoit w/ Eddie Guerrero vs. The Rock JR says Big Show is on vacation in Hawaii, which explains why he wasn't on any TV last week. These two immediately mix perfectly, as Benoit continues to show off how he's the G.O.A.T. Benoit selling the force of his own strikes by shaking out his arms and holding his wrist is such an awesome little touch. Rock bumps and sells great as usual, and Benoit does the same. This had a great sense of if either man is distracted or loses focus for a second, the other will come back, since that's how the momentum shifted every time for the 7 minutes this got. Eddie distracted the ref, as BIG SHOW RAN DOWN WAIT HE'S NOT ON VACATION BAH GAWD KING. He punched out Rock on the floor, and Benoit got a Bridging German Suplex in the ring for a big win. Love that because not only does it get Benoit over as an upper level guy that's capable of the big win, but gets the German Suplexes over. Awesome match. *** Rock gets up and runs up the ramp to attack Show. Benoit and Eddie quickly attack from behind, and yeah. They all beat Rock back into the ring, and Benoit hits the Diving Headbutt after a Chokeslam from The Big Show, and they all leave. In the back, Big Show grabs the camera and says that that was a piece of what awaits The Rock on February 27th, and there really will be no way out. In the hotel, Mark gives Mae a box of chocolates and she says she got him edible undies. OH GODDAMNIT JUST STOP THIS NOW. OR JUST THROW THE CAMERA OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW. Match #5: Billy Gunn vs. Scotty 2 Hotty Both partners are there. This was okay. Not as awful as one would expect. Dogg tried to distract the ref, but Sexay punched Gunn from the apron in mid-Stinger Splash and S2H got the rollup for the upset. Hope this sets up a tag match, as that'd be great, and I have no memory of show to show stuff from when I first watched it. *3/4 In the back, Kevin Kelly waits to talk to The Rock. So yeah, last night on HeAT, Essa Rios defeated Gillberg to win the Light Heavyweight Title. Cool, or whatever. Hardcore Holly comes down to do commentary, and says that they've decided to go the opposite direction of Super Heavyweight. Match #6: Essa Rios [c] vs. Crash Holly w/ Hardcore Holly [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Lita is with Essa. This is a back and forth spotfest, and Essa hits about 50% of the stuff clean. He and Lita have a neat thing where she does the same high flying moves he does right afterwords, like the Flying Rana off the apron, and a Moonsault after Essa won with a Moonsault. She has a better success rate than he does. *3/4 Post-match, Holly laughs about how Crash got beat up by a woman. Back from break, The Hollys are still in the ring. Hardcore calls Crash a stupid illiterate masturbater, and says to watch how a real super heavyweight wins. Awesome short promo. Match #7: Tazz vs. Hardcore Holly w/ Crash Holly This sure fucking occurred. Tazz beat up Hardcore, but it's Hardcore Holly so it's sold terribly and is boring as shit. He gets the Tazzmission, but Crash interferes for the DQ. *1/4 Tazz hits Crash with a Tazzplex, and The Hollys flee the ring finally. Thank Christ. In the back, Kevin tries to interview The Rock, but he storms off and down the hallway. Match #8: Rikishi vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn This was fun for what it was and the short time that it got. Rikishi throwing around and killing both men, mixed in with spots of Radicals offense that they get due to teamwork and quickness. Rikishi tries the Bonzai Drop on Saturn, but Eddie runs down and hits Rikishi in the ankle with a pipe for the DQ. **1/4 Saturn hits Rikishi with a Missile Dropkick, and holds his leg as Dean repeatedly hits Rikishi in the ankle, showing the killer instinct that we've come to know in the time since. I mean, what? They keep doing this until Too Cool runs down, and the three leave, but Rikishi is already fucked up. Triple H comes down and his partner is...X-PAC! That...they barely handled Kane on Smackdown. Oh, also...THE BIG SHOW! 3 on 1 now, I guess. That makes more sense. Match #9: Kane vs. Triple H/X-Pac/The Big Show w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Tori [No Disqualification Match - If Kane Wins, He Gets X-Pac At No Way Out] This happened. Boring as shit, too much Big Show/Kane going on here, resembling their mostly terrible series in 1999. The Rock ran down at a point, but ran right into a Chokeslam from Big Show. Cactus then ran down and knocked Tori down on the way. He and Triple H brawled off on the floor, and Rock then nailed Big Show with the chair as well as X-Pac. Kane then Chokeslammed Show to win, and it's Kane/X-Pac in a No DQ match at No Way Out. *3/4 Kane and X-Pac brawl on the floor, and H trips up Rock as he tries the People's Elbow. H and Big Show beat up on Rock, and Kane and X-Pac come in. Cactus gets back in and kills all the heels with a pipe to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 20 2012, 01:34 AM Post #16 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown February 17th, 2000 Fresno, CA In the parking lot, the DX EXPRESS~~ pulls up, making it's debut. The music plays, and they all walk out of the bus and through the back and out to the ring. Road Dogg cuts a great promo, saying they were putting people through tables while the Dudleyz were still in the minor leagues. X-Pac is pissed at H because of having Kane in a No DQ match, but says Kane will not get retribution for him making Tori his. H says that after HIAC, Jack will be crippled and brain-dead and gone from wrestling. He says that while Foley's dream is to main event WrestleMania, H's dream is to be in the WWF without Foley in it. He then says that to show he and X-Pac are still like brothers, he's going to face Kane tonight. X-Pac isn't buying it and says if he was really sorry, he'd put the title up. H agrees, and X-Pac says he'll take on Cactus Jack. H shows footage of Jack knocking down Tori on Raw, and says X-Pac should make it a hardcore match, and Pac says he'll do it. They hug. H says that in the spirit of impressing each other, H books Outlaws vs. Rock/Big Show for the tag titles! H says he'll take on Kane, and when he's done, Kane will feel like he got hit by a bus. In the back, The Hollys see Mark Henry & Mae Young making out and say that it's disgusting. Hardcore talks shit on Mae for being so damn old, and Mark tells him to watch his mouth. So they attack Mark and shove down Mae. Match #1: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Kane w/ Paul Bearer [WWF Championship] Basically, H reenacting Flair vs. a big man but far far far more uninteresting and dull and like 3 minutes long tops. Kane no-sells a lot of stuff due to his newly refound monster big man powers, but DX runs down for the DQ. *3/4 All four beat on Kane, and X-Pac punches out Paul on the floor. They pull Paul out to the back and out to the outside of the arena and the bus. They shove him in the baggage trunk of the bus, and Kane follows. They also beat on Kane and shove him in and lock them both inside. The driver then drives off. Kurt Angle comes out and says that after Chyna's attack on Raw, millions of children across America went to bed crying and had nightmares about Chyna attacking them, but he is A-OK, and is looking forward to once again representing America as the Intercontinental Champion in 10 days. Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Chyna About 2 minutes long. Angle bumps around for Chyna on the floor before he hits her with the title belt for the DQ. k. 3/4* He sends her in and tries another, but Chris Jericho runs down. Angle manages to quickly hit him with the Angle Slam though, but Chyna hits a low blow on Kurt from behind. More children cry now. Thanks a lot, you cunt. In the back, Mark Henry and Chyna walk into a room, and there is a random doorway in the middle of the room that says "APA". They walk through that doorway, and Mark says he needs them to protect his woman while he goes to the ring, since she's with child and shouldn't be down there. They demand payment, and Mark puts down a wad of bills, and they say they'll do it, and he leaves. The fact that he actually goes through both doors is the best. The DX Express comes back to the arena. In the APA office, Mae wants to play a hand. Bradshaw says they only play for money, and she pulls some out of the front of her shirt. Goddamnit. Anyways, they give her 5 cards and she joins in. Match #3: Tazz vs. Gangrel w/ Luna In 2000, this is one of the least appealing matches in ever. Of course, any time Gangrel is in a singles match, the same can be said. This is a minute, and it's mostly a squash for Tazz. Meh. *1/4 In the back, Cactus Jack cuts a promo. He says that he does hurt all the time, and won't guarantee victory, but says HIAC will be the damndest thing you've ever seen. He says he will fly off the top of the cell, but it won't be through a table, but will be through H's body. COMMERCIAL FOR REINDEER GAMES FUCK YEAH In the APA office, Mae has won several times and has a nice stack of bills. DAMN! Match #4: Cactus Jack vs. X-Pac w/ Tori [Hardcore Match] This kind of just happened. Backdrop for an angle, really. Pac bumped around fine and made Foley look great as usual. He ran off to the back and outside, and DX jumped Foley. I guess this is where the match ends? Not a bell or anything. ** They all attack him and shove him in the baggage trunk of the DX Express like Kane and Bearer, and the bus drives off. Match #5: Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Too Cool In happier times for the two. Cole says Benoit isn't here, because his wife is due to give birth soon. Aahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, that's going to end well. Cole also announces Eddie vs. Rikishi tonight, despite Eddie having a broken elbow and Kishi a hurt ankle. This is fun and very much helped along by a real hot crowd. It's mostly Dean and Saturn bumping around and stooging for Too Cool, but Eddie runs down as the ref is distracted and hits S2H with a pipe and Dean covers to win. **1/2 They keep up the 3 on 2, and Rikishi hobbles down with the hurt ankle. He somewhat cleans house until Eddie hits him again in the ankle with the pipe. Dean shows hints of his future murderous side, as he slides in a chair and the steel steps. In a really brutal spot, they wrap the chair around Rikishi's ankle, and slam the steps down on it. Dean pretends to hobble around on one leg to mock Rikishi. Dean is awesome. Back from break, EMTs and Too Cool load Rikishi into an ambulance on a stretcher, and he says he thinks it's broken. Eddie Guerrero now runs out and demands to be declared the winner by forfeit. The ref raises his good arm, and Eddie celebrates like mad. Eddie is the fucking man. Dean and Saturn also run down to celebrate, and Eddie celebrates beating Rikishi. Cole announces Benoit, Saturn, & Malenko vs. Rikishi & Too Cool for No Way Out. In the APA office, Mae asks if she can have a cigar, and they give her one and light it. You're with a child, you dumb shit. In the back, The Rock cuts a promo, saying he doesn't want or need Show as a partner, and if comes down to the ring for their match, he will layeth the Smacketh down. The DX Express yet again arrives outside the arena. In the APA office, Mae gets herself a beer, and says the baby won't mind just one. Bradshaw and Faarooq agree that they hate this woman. Match #6: Edge/Christian vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert Cole announces E & C vs. The Hardy Boyz at NWO in a #1 Contender's Match, which should rule. Also, BBM and Albert are now reunited with no explanation at all. So yeah, Russo's not totally gone yet. This marks the debut of SHAVE YOUR BACK SHAVE YOUR BACK SHAVE YOUR BACK SHAVE YOUR BACK. This is enjoyable in the way that it's Albert vs. two fiery high flyers. Bossman does nothing of value and seems to drag it down when he's in there, which is kind of sad. Anyways, the finishing run ruled. E & C win with the Missile Dropkick/sunset flip thing. **1/2 They beat up on the two post-match. In the APA office, Mae gets a straight flush. They say she's smoked all the cigars, drunk all the beer, and taken their money, and ask what she wants now. She gives them back the money if they come with her, and they all go out of the office. Match #7: Mark Henry vs. The Hollys [No Disqualification Match] After a minute of Mark bumping around well, Mae brings out the APA, and they run down and kill the Hollys. Mark hits a Big Splash on Crash to win. 3/4* The Big Show never comes out for the match, making it a handicap match. Match #8: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. The Rock [WWF Tag Team Championship] It's Rock in 2000, so the crowd is super duper hot, and he does great bumping and selling. Gunn seems to kind of give a shit, so this is enjoyable formula. After five minutes, THE BIG SHOW~ comes down, and Rock leaves to brawl with him and the match ends. **1/4 The Outlaws jump him, and the 3 take him to the back up the same way as Kane, Bearer, and Cactus. H and X-Pac attack by the bus, but Rock keeps fighting and avoids getting shoved in the trunk. They shove him in the trunk, and DX gets in the bus and it leaves. Big Show waves goodbye but WHAT THE FUCK THE ROCK STANDS BEHIND HIM WITH A 2X4 AND NAILS HIM WITH IT! I guess the trunk is now a portal. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 20 2012, 01:13 PM Post #17 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War February 21st, 2000 Atlanta, GA In the parking lot, the DX Express pulls in. They all get out, and H tells the driver to stay right here in case a WWF Superstar or two wants a ride in the Express. They come down to the ring to open the show. H says the DX Express left Kane, Bearer, and Cactus Jack in the middle of nowhere, and insults the crowd, and thankfully The Rock comes out to end the monotony, as it goes on for far far too long. He does a Triple H impression in the form of I AM UH THE GAME UH AND FOR THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES UH I WILL SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING UH. He begins to come down, and H says it's 4 on 1. Cactus Jack comes out, and says that while he was stranded, America doesn't hate him, and a trucker named BIG EARL (FUCK YEAH!) gave him a ride. BIG EARL FUCK YEAH! Big Earl is legit my favorte posted in the history of BQ/WZ. He was the head of the booking dept. (btb as it is called now) when I began writing in early 2003, and really helped me get better and was a seriously awesome guy who exposed me to old WCW/NWA stuff. ANYWAYS, Foley says Earl also picked up two more, and Kane and Bearer come out. Kane's a big tough main eventer again now. Jack suggests a 6 man tag for some reason, and all 7 brawl in the ring. The Big Show then comes down, and nails Kane and The Rock with a chair. DX then gangs up on Cactus, and H hits a Pedigree. Before the next match, Kurt Angle informs the crowd that, not to be rude, but literally nothing good has happened in Atlanta since he win the gold medal here in 1996, and for one night, he can be their hero again. Match #1: Chris Jericho/Chyna vs. Kurt Angle/British Bulldog Oh fuck. As long as Angle and Jericho were both in, this wasn't awful. Not long enough to be anything of note. Chyna accidentally distracts the ref, and Angle hits Jericho with the IC Title belt and hits the Olympic Slam to win. *3/4 In the back, Rikishi is getting his ankle taped up, and Too Cool comes over. They ask if he's fine, but he says not to worry about him, and to focus on their own business, because he'll be fine against Guerrero tonight. In the back, Al Snow puts yellow sunglasses on Blackman in his attempt to make them cool, because yellow is the color of cheese! He puts on music and dances, and asks Steve for his honest opinion. Blackman kills the boombox with his kendo sticks and leaves. Al asks if that means it was bad. Match #2: Too Cool vs. Head Cheese This is ok. Not awful, but not good. Back and forth with some neat ideas. The highlight is Blackman finally agreeing to be charismatic, and STEVE BLACKMAN DOES A MOTHERFUCKING MOONWALK. HOLY SHIT YES. Of course, this makes him lose focus, and S2H shoves him into Snow and rolls up Blackman to win. ** Blackman is displeased. Match #3: Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Ho's Goddamnit, let Benoit wrestle. Where the fuck is he? Anyways, this was very fun. Dean bumped around for Godfather to make him bearable, and there was a great spot where Saturn ran and Speared Godfather in the side in mid-Ho Train. Good finishing run, and Saturn hit his great looking Flying Elbow Drop on D'Lo to win. **1/2 In the back, The Outlaws and The Dudley Boyz argue over who will lead in the 8 man tonight, that was just announced in this very segment. The Dudleyz tell the champions to try and keep up. Match #4: The Hardy Boyz/Edge/Christian vs. The New Age Outlaws/The Dudley Boyz This totally ruled, BECAUSE IT GOT EIGHT MINUTES! YEAH! Some cool stuff with Christian vs. both Outlaws early on, and then Jeff took an insane bump and was isolated and was awesome at dying on everything, as he will do from now on until like the end of 2001. Then the finishing run also ruled, and the crowd was super duper hot. Bubba ended up nailing Gunn with a chair behind the ref's back, and Jeff got the Swanton on Gunn to win. Edge was the legal man though and also went for the cover. *** Post-match, Edge & Christian yell at the Hardyz for stealing the cover and walk out on them. Match #5: The Acolytes/Mark Henry vs. The Hollys/Viscera This was basically a pile of shit. Too much Mark Henry vs. Bobcore and Viscera and not nearly enough APA killing bitches, which only happened in the last 30 seconds. They killed Crash to win. 1/2* APA quickly leaves as Mark is down on the floor. Mae Young comes down and in, and stomps at Crash Holly. Hardcore runs and clotheslines the 82 year old pregnant woman, and Viscera then hits her with a Big Splash. EMTs and Mark tend to Mae Young. Match #6: Chris Benoit vs. Test Test comes in pissed off about something, and they spend 3 minutes beating the shit out of each other, and it's surprisingly great. Benoit leans into all Test's strikes and bumps and sells great for him, and Test has great intensity on all his things, and this is very enjoyable. Eddie Guerrero snuck down to the ring with the pipe, and he hit Test in the head. Benoit hit the Flying Headbutt to win. **1/2 In the back, Rock, Cactus, & Kane are discussing the main event, but the Raw bumper theme cuts out everything they're saying. Rikishi comes on three crutches taped together into a mega crutch. Awesome. Eddie Guerrero comes out with a sling, and cuts an awesome promo about how Rikishi is fat and injured. WHAT'S THE MATTER HOMES? PUT TOO MUCH WEIGHT ON IT?! HAHAHA BUT THEN AGAIN, THAT'S HARD NOT TO DO! Match #7: Rikishi vs. Eddie Guerrero [No Disqualification Match] Rikishi's ankle is apparently fine a week after BEING HIT IN THE FUCKING ANKLE WITH A PIPE, as he kills Eddie with the mega-crutch and hits the Bonzai Drop to win in under 30 seconds. I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul. Benoit, Dean, and Saturn come down, and try and attack Rikishi again, but Too Cool runs down with 2 crutches each, and they clean house. Rikishi hits Saturn with the Rikishi Driver, and they all dance. In the back, Cactus Jack cuts a promo saying he'll show up to WrestleMania in a wheelchair if he has to, because there's no chance he won't take to win Hell in a Cell at No Way Out and go on to main event WrestleMania. In the parking lot, DX opens the luggage trunk door of the DX Express, and says someone else will go for a ride at the end of the night. Match #8: Tazz vs. Big Bossman This is about 90 seconds, and boring as shit, which it really shouldn't be with these two. Tazz gets in the Tazzmission and Bossman grabs the nightstick and swings back to hit Tazz in the head for the DQ. 1/2* Tazz does not let go, and Prince Albert runs down to break it up. He lays out Tazz, and Bossman chokes Taz with the nightstick. This is clearly how you get over a new guy. Match #9: Triple H/X-Pac/The Big Show vs. The Rock/Cactus Jack/Kane The women and Bearer are at ringside. This was better than you might expect. Largely due to The Rock making the crowd insanely hot, The Rock being an awesome bumper and awesome on offense, and X-Pac bumping big. The H/Cactus stuff was generally good as well. Multiple hot tags, and a quality finishing run. Kane/Pac and Rock/Show both brawl away, and H hits Jack with a fire extinguisher to win. Oh, okay then. **1/2 The brawl spills out to the tech area, and Cactus chases H and Stephanie out to the back. They escape into the DX Express and the driver goes to leave. Jack almost commits homicide by ramming a large pipe through the passenger side windshield, the the express backs out and leaves. This is kind of a terrible build for a fucking Title vs. Career match. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 20 2012, 05:19 PM Post #18 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Test, Since 1/17/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown February 24th, 2000 Nashville, TN In the back, Hardcore Holly yells at Crash for challenging Test to a HXC Title match, and Crash says he's a Holly too, and a far more hardcore one. He then shoved Hardcore down on his ass and leaves the locker room. FUCK YOU BOBCORE. Match #1: Test [c] vs. Crash Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] This ruled. Crash bumps around huge and dies on all Test's power moves and strikes and there's some great bumps and spots here in 5 minutes. Hardcore Holly comes down to the ring, and swings a chair at Crash, but he ducks and Hardcore hits Test. Crash covers to win the title, and this is the start of something wonderful. **3/4 Post-match, Hardcore raises Crash's hand, like he wasn't just trying to knock his face off. In the back, the DX Express is here, and there's a new bus, since Jack killed the other one. Inside the bus, H books Gunn/Bubba, Benoit/Kane, and H/Dogg/Pac vs. Too Cool/Rikishi. Not bad. H says that Cactus Jack is off limits tonight, and he wants him. The Big Show comes out to the ring and cuts an awesome promo noting how he's literally done nothing wrong at all in all of this, and that The Rock is a total douchebag to everyone, and how he rightly won the Rumble and never even got his WWF Title rematch. He shows footage of him clearly winning the Rumble, and the crowd boos. He asks why they would cheer a winner who is a terrible person over a winner who is doing the right thing. Kurt Angle comes out, and shakes Show's hand, and says that the crowd doesn't respect men of integrity like them. He begins to tell a story, but Chris Jericho and Chyna come out. Thankfully, only Jericho speaks. He says he has an I of his own: "I wish you would SHUT THE HELL UP!" Angle challenged Jericho to find a partner and face them, and The Rock comes out. He cuts an awesome promo on Angle and Show, and it's Rock/Jericho vs. Angle/Show. A video on the Hell in A Cell airs. The highlights of past HIAC matches basically retcon Bossman/Taker out of existence, which is probably for the best. Match #2: Chris Benoit vs. Kane w/ Paul Bearer The ref sent The Radicals to the back early on. This is Benoit briefly attacking Kane and hitting the Diving Headbutt, before Kane sat up and killed Benoit around the ring. Benoit, as usual, brought the epic bumping and selling of everything. They brawled on the outside as Tori came down and slapped Paul Bearer and a Double CO happened. I think. The bell rang and both men were on the floor. **1/4 Kane stalks Tori up the ramp, but X-Pac gets onto the stage AND X-PAC SHOOTS A FUCKING FLAMETHROWER IN KANE'S FACE WHAT THE HELL. EMTs and Bearer tend to Kane. Match #3: The Hardy Boyz/Edge/Christian vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn/Head Cheese This was enjoyable, although only like 3 minutes. Basically all a big finishing run. Al Snow pushed Matt off the top onto Edge on the floor, and Jeff ate brutal Leg Lariat/Tiger Suplex combo from The Radicals for the loss. **1/2 The four again have words after the match, and Edge doesn't let the Hardy Boyz leave. Matt slaps Edge, and the two teams brawl, and refs have to break it up. Match #4: Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Tori vs. Rikishi/Too Cool This was quite enjoyable. Numerous false hot tags and false finishes down an awesome finishing run. Really got crowd as well, and all of X-Pac's kicks on the big man were really on point. As usual, Pac and H both bumped around big, and Rikishi was awesome. The finish came when H hit Rikishi's taped up ankle with a chair on the floor as the ref was distracted, and X-Pac hit Sexay in the ring with the X-Factor to win. **3/4 H hits him in the ankle again with the chair, and The Radicals laugh in the back. Back from break, Too Cool carries Rikishi into the trainer's office, and he is in pain. Match #5: The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Ho's vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert D'Lo was off his game here, and Albert can only do so much, so this was awful. Tazz came down and attacked BBM on the floor and raked Albert's eyes while D'Lo distracted the ref. He then backed up into the Pimp Drop for the win. 3/4* JR is in the ring, and introduces Cactus Jack for a promo. Cactus cuts an amazing promo about how he had fun as Mankind, but when he thought about his dreams, his dream was to be Cactus Jack in this position, not to go out and make people laugh. He also says he didn't want to end his career like Joe Frazier, sitting on a stool, and now he won't. He thanks everyone who helped him along the way, and says he will go down swinging, or not even at all. Awesome passionate promo. BUT WAIT! HERE'S STEPHANIE MCMAHON TO RUIN THE MOMENT! She says that Jack caused over $350,000 worth of damage to the DX Express on Raw, and has a warrant for his arrest. Jack goes quietly away with a horrifyingly creepy look on his face. Back from break, and Jack is already at the jail, since it only takes 3-4 minutes to drive there, process him, and do the paperwork. Triple H and Stephanie come in, and H requests the key. They give it to him and all the cops leave. This is the most inefficient police force imaginable. Match #6: Billy Gunn vs. Bubba Ray Dudley w/ D-Von Dudley This sounds horrifying. And it was. D-Von gets Bubba DQ'd for lowbridging him out. Really, that's a DQ? You didn't ring the bell on like 25 things so far that were so much worse, and that's a DQ. Fuck this show. 1/2* They beat up Gunn, and set up a table. Dogg comes down to save, and they hit Bubba with a Fameasser through the table. In the jail, H knocks over the walls to reveal they're still in the parking lot. Well, that explains the short ride. Did the cops think they were actually back at the station? Were they actors or did H just pay them off? So much about this is terrible. H has chained the cage Mick is in to the DX Express, basically, and implies he will drag him around now. Awfully contrived plot to get to that point, but ok. Match #7: The Rock/Chris Jericho w/ Chyna vs. The Big Show/Kurt Angle This was generally enjoyable, as Show felt like trying, and it was mostly Angle/Rock. Fun finishing run, until Chyna randomly hit Show with a chair for the DQ. Stupid cunt. **1/4 Show goes to Chokeslam her, but Rock saves and hits the Rock Bottom. Jericho and Angle need to be broken up by refs, and the faces leave up the ramp. Show gets up and attacks Rocky on the ramp, and Jericho and Chyna run back in to attack Angle more. In the back, Show and Rock brawl more, and show throws Rock through a glass window. On the other side, H and Stephanie give him the thumbs up, and this conveniently segues into H and Stephanie getting on the bus, and it driving off with the cage holding Jack dragging behind it. I'm sure the authorities will not think this is suspicious at all. What a ridiculous way to end the show and this build. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 23 2012, 05:24 PM Post #19 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 1/23/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The New Age Outlaws, Since 11/8/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING ACTUAL CHAMPIONS CURRENTLY WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 ![]() WWF NO WAY OUT 2000 FEBRUARY 27TH, 2000 HARTFORD, CT Match #1: Chris Jericho [c] w/ Chyna vs. Kurt Angle [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This holds up really well, and is Kurt's first great match. Took them a little bit to get going and it was sloppy initially, but they get points for effort given how little experience Kurt had at this point. Great minor story with Jericho hurting his arm, but Angle being inexperienced in working a limb, so he stuck to what he knew with Suplexes and what not. Jericho sold the arm pretty well given the story, and then they had some cool nearfalls. 2000-1 Jericho has one of the best Babyface Flying Forearms ever. Stupid cunt causes a referee distraction, and it allows Angle to hold up the IC Title belt to Jericho's face as a block to the Lionsault, and Angle gets the pin for the win and the title! *** Another ref comes down to tell the first ref what happened, but Kurt has left with both titles as your EuroContinental Champion. In the back, The Dudley Boyz cut a promo saying they weren't handed this shot, they took it, just like they took respect by putting people through tables, they've taken everything they've gotten so far in the WWF, and another title will change hands. They have two words for the Outlaws: Three D. Well, close enough. Match #2: The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. The Dudley Boyz [WWF Tag Team Championship] This could have been great if Gunn's shoulder didn't necessitate this being only 5 or so minutes. Still, it's an awesome 5 minutes, as the Dudleys catching fire as heels in 2000 means the Outlaws can go back to their roots and work babyface for the night, which they're better at anyways. Gunn is a decent hot tag despite his injury. During the match when discussing the table victims, Lawler says Terri is back tonight and has paid for the APA for protection tonight. Dogg gets back in, and Billy is hit in the arm with a pipe on the floor. Dogg is all alone, and he is beat with the 3D for the titles. **3/4 After the match, The Outlaws argue about the loss and Gunn tries to explain about the pipe. In the lobby, Kurt Angle is celebrating with fans. On Heat, Viscera and Mark Henry got in the worst fight ever. Match #3: Mark Henry vs. Viscera Well, this was horrible. Mark was clearly trying, but Viscera did not give even a modicum of a shit here. Mae Young comes out, so Visc tries to kill her baby with the Big Splash, but MOK saves. Mark wins with a slam. *1/4 In the back, Cole interviews Chris Jericho. He says his beef is not with Chyna, but with the Real Olympic Jackass, who used the belt to win the belt, and if his stupid celebration runs into Y2J tonight, he'll make sure that he will never EEEEEVER be able to walk around looking like an idiot again. In the back, medics check on Gunn, who holds his arm in pain. Before the next match starts, The Acolytes come down to ringside to stand guard over Terri. Match #4: Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz w/ Terri & The Acolytes [#1 Contender's Match] Awesome spotfest. They do that thing that mostly only Jeff Hardy is capable of doing where the spots get gradually more insane and a little sloppier and it winds up getting over how tough the match is instead of anything else. Also some great foreshadowing as E&C are able to control the match for longer as they get aggressive and pissed off with the Hardys being more popular. I noticed a few more disjointed parts in the middle than I did in 2009, so it's not AS great as I remembered. This comes off as kind of an unpolished version of a future great match. Really cool finishing run ideas, and Terri shoves Jeff off the top. She then slaps Matt, and it allows Christian to pick up the pieces with the Unprettier for the win. ***1/4 Edge & Christian are confused with Terri and leave. Matt grabs Terri and yells at her, and since they've been paid to protect Terri from any harm, The Acolytes run in and kill the Hardy Boyz. So, Terri splits from the Hardy Boyz, which is probably a good thing. In the back, Edge & Christian get interviewed by Cole. Christian says he knew they would win, but not like this. Edge says that the Hardyz would have taken the win, and all that matters is that they're going to fight for the titles. In the back, Lillian is with Big Show and he commences showing the footage from the Rumble again, and saying tonight is about redemption. On HeAT, Bossman and Albert assaulted Tazz in the back, so now we have a filler match. Match #5: Tazz vs. Big Bossman w/ Albert There is an epic sign in the front row saying "C'MON ROCK GOD DAMNIT" This is a minute of Tazz throwing around BBM before putting on the Tazzmission. Albert then runs in for the DQ. Why the fuck even bother? You couldn't just throw another few minutes on Jericho/Angle or whatever? * They both beat up Tazz in the ring. He keeps getting up and fighting back, and they yell at him to stay down. Bossman than shows his greatness by cracking the nightstick over Tazz's head and breaking it in 2. He keeps getting up as they try and leave, and officials have to come down to break it up. In the crowd, Angle celebrates with people in the cheap seats, since they all have nothing to live for. A hype video airs for Kane/X-Pac. Match #6: Kane vs. X-Pac [No DQ] Paul Bearer and Tori are there. The cage match in 1999 was clearly their best match, but this was pretty good stuff. X-Pac takes tons of awesome bumps to make Kane look good again. This match is sort of pointless on a show with a Mick Foley HIAC main event though. Tori almost never interferes, but Bearer does all the time, which didn't make any sense. RUSSOOOOOO. Tori eats another Tombstone, but when he tries to throw the steps on her, X-Pac kicks the steps into his face and covers for a very shocking win. **1/2 In the back, Cole interviews The Radicals and asks about Rikishi and Too Cool. Dean says dancing time will be over tonight, Benoit calls Cole a condescending little worm, and Saturn says the only dancing that is acceptable is that on tables for money. Eddie cuts a jig, and says he'll be there for moral support, and pulls out a steel pipe. Before the match, The Radicals try to jump the faces, but Rikishi hits Eddie in the elbow with the pipe, and the ref makes Eddie go to the back. Match #7: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn This was great! Took a little bit to get going, but when The Radicals began to take over, the crowd got into it. Rikishi had great ankle selling early on, and then Scotty got isolated. Lots of great cutoffs and hope spots from the Radicalz, as well as quality double teams. Rikishi has a great hot tag while still selling the ankle, and he hits Malenko with the Bonzai Drop for the win. *** They dance after the win. In the lobby, Kurt Angle is back and still celebrating. Match #8: The Rock vs. The Big Show [#1 Contender's Match] This was not good all. Mostly Big Show in control, so it was plodding and dull. Ref bump happens and Rock goes for the People's Elbow, but Shane McMahon returns with his flying chair shot to take out Rock. Show covers to win. Horrible. *3/4 Big Show and Shane hug, and they leave together. Rock gets up, and he is not happy. A really great hype video airs for Cactus/H. In the parking lot, Chris Jericho and Chyna find Kurt celebrating by his car, and they attack him and shove him into his trunk. Match #9: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Cactus Jack [WWF Championship - HELL IN A CELL - TITLE VS. CAREER] This is so great. Triple H did an awesome job going from tentative about the Cell to slowly getting used to it to finally using it to his advantage. To this end, they did a great job gradually increasing the brutality as well. It's a shame that JR and King screwed up the narrative of the Rumble match because there's a clear story being told here in this series. The Rumble sees Triple H surviving because he uses things to his advantage, not because he was more violent than Foley or beat Foley at his own game. This match, with Foley literally having nothing to lose, sees him actually bring the violence first, and being the one to introduce weapons. They do some awesome revenge spots when Jack comes back too, and Triple H dodging flying steps at his face for a second time and allowing an opening in the Cell wall when they hit is an awesome little "out of the frying pan and into the fire" moment. They repeat spots from the Rumble, but it feels more like Cactus is controlling the environment when they do them. Triple H flees onto the top of the cell, and when Foley gets knocked off through a table while climbing, AND GETS UP AND CLIMBS BACK UP TO FIGHT AGAIN, there's a tangible feeling that this is his. Which makes the Back Drop THROUGH THE CELL CEILING AND THROUGH THE RING even more of a heartbreak. BUT YEAH, TRIPLE H BACK DROPS HIM THROUGH THE CELL AND THROUGH THE FUCKING RING TOO. HE'S DEAD. ![]() ![]() So yeah, Triple H gets down, and is a little in shock too. He looks maybe a little sorry, and has to kick Cactus to make sure he's dead, BUT HE MOVES AFTER TRIPLE H NUDGES HIM, AND TRIPLE H FREAKS OUT! ![]() Cactus tries to get up, but is clearly dead. AND HE KNOWS IT. Cactus getting up to meet his own demise was so badass, and these final minutes after the huge spot is what takes this from great to an all time classic. I was worried that because the initial review was my first watch of this match that I had overrated it, but it's just as great. Cactus gets up and into the Pedigree, and H retains. ****1/2 H and Stephanie leave, but Cactus refuses the EMTs. He walks out on his own and gets a huge ovation for his "final match". Had he stayed gone, the shot of him looking back at the crowd from the entrance would be an all time amazing WWE camera shot. It's still great, but the impact is gone somewhat. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 23 2012, 07:09 PM Post #20 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War February 28th, 2000 Madison Square Garden New York, NY Triple H & Stephanie come down to open the show. Triple H talks about how he respects Foley now after getting up from that hole in the ring, and shows a video tribute that cuts into the DX theme and clips of Foley getting his ass kicked. He says he retired Foley for good last night, and Shane McMahon and Big Show come out. Shane talks to Stephanie and says just because she ran Vince out of business by breaking his heart, it doesn't mean she inherits the WWF, because he's still here. He says he wanted to strike out and align himself with a champion, and unlike the egotistical primadonna Rock, Show WILL go to WrestleMania and win the title. The Rock comes out and shits on all of them in Rock fashion, and says he WILL go to Mania and win the title. Triple H says that Rock blew it, and will go back to the bottom of the ladder, as he faces THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER tonight. Shane says Rock's only chance of going to Mania is no chance in hell. FORESHADOWING. Doesn't make this build good, but a nice line. In the APA office, The Hardy Boyz demand a match to get payback for last night. Faarooq says that interferes with business, until the Hardys flip their table and run away as the APA chases them to the ring. Match #1: The Hardy Boyz vs. The Acolytes Lawler lays the groundwork for the greatest WWE heel of the 2000s by mentioning that Bradshaw was on CNBC this morning giving stock tips. This obviously ruled, because the Hardyz will sell their asses off and take a great beating, and the Acolytes will beat the shit out of anyone and everyone. This had no real finishing run, as Matt got a blind tag and hit a quick Twist of Fate on Bradshaw for the win. I like that, it seems like the most logical way for the Hardys to win. **1/2 In the back, EuroContinental Champion Kurt Angle lectures a security guard on the importance of each belt, and JR says he's issued an open challenge tonight. Kurt Angle comes out and says his only addiction is winning titles, and challenges anyone to come out and face him for the European Championship. Rikishi comes out, and yay! Match #2: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Rikishi [WWF European Championship] This was just Rikishi running through offense on Angle, but Rikishi is the fucking man and Angle's bumping is quite good by now, so this is entertaining for the 90 seconds it goes. Angle bails on the Stink Face, and takes both titles and is counted out. *3/4 Angle says the people came here to see a wrestling match, not a giant ass. Jericho and Chyna come out, which brings up the question of how Kurt got out of the trunk of his car. Anyways, Jericho says Rikishi may have a giant ass, but Kurt IS a giant ass. They throw him back in, and he eats the Rikishi Driver and Bonzai Drop. He prepares Kurt for the Stink Face, but The Radicals run down and attack Rikishi, Jericho, and Chyna! Too Cool then runs down, and the five faces drive out the five heels. I'd like to say I really like how this managed to logically start new feuds for Mania while intermingling old ones, but the new feuds this began didn't begin for another few weeks, so this was a little weird. Also, Too Cool and Rikishi dance, and they get Chris Jericho and Chyna to join in. This episode is awesome so far. The fact that 2 Cool had three sets of identical sunglasses for guests for such an occasion is the best. Back from break and in the back, Chris Jericho and Chyna try to cut a promo, but The Radicals rush in, held back by refs. Saturn glares at Jericho from right in his face, and Jericho accepts his offer for a match, because I guess that is "I would like a professional wrestling match with you later this evening, sir." in Saturn. Before the next match, Terri comes down to do commentary with what appears to be dry cleaning with her for some reason. Also, Al Snow has given Steve Blackman ridiculous new music with a female voice in harmony singing "He's Got It!" over and over again with the video showing clips of the whacky Head Cheese antics. Blackman is not happy with this, or anything ever. Match #3: Edge & Christian vs. Head Cheese Terri says she dumped the Hardyz because while hospitalized, they only came to see her twice a week. What a cunt. While Head Cheese is a great gimmick, they're both still mediocre and this is 90% Head Cheese offense, so it is not good. Terri gets up and pulls a large cheesehead piece out of the dry cleaning bag and puts it on. Steve is distracted and a Missile Dropkick to the back/Spear combo wins it for E & C. *3/4 Terri says that's twice she's won them a match, and leaves as Edge & Christian are confused. Match #4: The Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler Under a minute, and the Rock Bottom finishes. Good angle and idea, but the match is still worthless at 30 seconds or so. 1/2* The Rock gets on the mic, and calls out Triple H to a fight man-to-man. He comes out, and Stephanie holds him back. Shane and Big Show come out, and says that Mania WILL be Triple H vs. The Big Show, and warns Triple H to not let Rock goad him into putting the title on the line tonight, because he's seen this thing before and says Rock did it last year to Foley. HOLY SHIT CONTINUITY! SO MUCH CONTINUITY. They huddle and talk, and Stephanie books Rock vs. H/Show in a handicap match, and if Rock pins either of them, he's in the main event with them in a triple threat, but this is his last chance. Match #5: Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn Chyna and Malenko are on the floor. This is not on the level of their 1999 series, as it's only four minutes. Like those matches though, this rules, although obviously not as much as the great dog collar match. Dean attacks Jericho on the floor, and Chyna goes to save. Saturn pulls her in the ring and attacks her. She comes back later, and hits a low blow, and Jericho wins with the Lionsalt. See, that's how you frame her interference spots so she actually comes off as a babyface instead of the horrible horrible person she is. Enjoyable match, but a lot more about the Chyna stuff, which sucked. **1/4 In the back, Billy Gunn is pissed about his injury, and is upset by Road Dogg saying D-Generation X of he and X-Pac will get the titles back tonight. Dogg says he got injured last night and cost them the titles, and takes offense to that. H and Stephanie come in, and says he booked Dudleyz vs. X-Pac/Dogg since Billy is hurt. He pokes at H's chest, and says with one arm, he's twice as good as H will ever be. See, and I thought he only got good at comedy in 2009! In response, H punches him in the face, and they all beat up Gunn. Seriously, fuck that guy. Selfish prick. They throw him out of the locker room, and I'm assuming out of DX. Dogg yelling that he tried to tell them about Gunn is awesome. Match #6: Crash Holly [c] vs. Mark Henry w/ Mae Young [WWF Hardcore Championship] At this point, I would not be shocked if they restarted Crash vs. Hardcore's family feud so they could have a point at the show to transition into discussing McMahon family issues. This is good for 2 minutes with Mark being awesome on offense and Crash bumping huge. Mae gets in and hits a Big Splash on Crash, and then holds her stomach in pain. Yes, for those unaware, pregnant women should not perform big splashes or be in wrestling rings. I guess this ends the match. ** EMTs and Moolah runs down, and Mae's cries of agony sound like laughs and she yells "OHHHH MY BABY OHHHHHH MY BABY" and this is hilariously bad. I assume we get the birth of the hand before the end of the show. PLS. As we come back from break, we see clips of the incident and JR says she's in labor. Yep. In the back, the EMT says she won't make it, and they push her into a room, and Lawler says this is the first time a baby has been delivered on Raw, in Madison Square Garden of all places. There's got to be a 50% chance of this storyline happening because there was a production meeting where Vince asked what HASN'T happened on Raw yet. Some jackass said a child birth, and voila. Match #7: Chris Benoit w/ Eddie Guerrero vs. Tazz So, Eddie soon got ejected, and for 3 minutes, Benoit and Tazz beat the shit out of each other. Big suplexes, hard strikes, the usual. Tazz got the Tazzmission, but Bossman and Albert ran in for the DQ. Damn you. **1/2 Benoit hit another German before leaving. Tazz tried to fight back, but the Baldo Bomb, and a Torture Rack Neckbreaker on the chair ended him. Bossman beat on him some more before saying Tazz sucks just like his hometown of New York, and that the mood just changed again. Bossman is fucking awesome. On one hand, this angle further shows how awful Tazz was handled, but on the other hand, Bossman is fucking awesome doing anything. In the back, Mae Young prepares to give birth. Whilst smoking a cigar. She tells the EMT that the last time she had her period was 1957. Mark confirms to the EMT that he did actually impregnate her. This part ruled. Back from break, Mae is giving birth. THE HAND comes out. Just goddamnit. At least it's over. And the Hand would return in August 2001, beginning his long and storied career as the Smackdown Fist. There's an awesome story on the Attitude Era DVD where Mark Henry talks about how Vince personally came up with this segment and couldn't stop laughing about the hand. Match #8: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [WWF Tag Team Championship] The champions have already set up some tables at ringside. This, again, framed DX as the de facto faces, which is good since Dogg and X-Pac were a great babyface team in the summer of 99 and X-Pac is still a top 5 babyface in the company when he's actually doing that. The Dudleyz has a bunch of great heel stuff here with the continual cutting off of tags, etc. and Dogg was a good face in peril, although he did a better job the previous night. X-Pac's hot tag was enjoyable as usual, but Kane and Paul Bearer came down, stopping the match as it was getting very good at some 4 minutes. GODDAMNIT KANE. FUCKING END THIS FEUD ALREADY. **1/2 X-Pac and Tori bail, and Dogg and the tag champions eat Chokeslams. Kane sets off his pyro, and X-Pac and Tori escape up the ramp. In the back, Triple H, Stephanie, Shane, and Big Show talk strategery. A Foley tribute to "I Will Remember You" airs. Good shit. Probably the first really epic emotional WWE produced tribute video. Also begins the WWE tradition of using mediocre/terrible songs and making them great by associating them with cool videos. See: "My Way", "Always", "Lonely Road of Faith", "Leave the Memories Alone", etc. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxvgkUTCrIg Match #9: The Rock vs. Triple H/The Big Show w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon Lawler shits on JR saying Rock can do it all night until JR just tells King to kiss his ass at the beginning of this. Awesome. H feels the need to bring back his awful corner bump to the floor where he clearly turns himself and pulls himself over the top, which is a shame because he hadn't been doing it in a while. This is acceptable by force of Rock being awesome, as Show seriously isn't giving a shit at all here, and H is just solid, understandably taking it easy after HIAC. Rock makes the big comeback and hits the Rock Bottom and People's Elbow on H, but Shane runs in and attacks him for the DQ. **1/4 Shane low blows Rock, and he and H punch at him. Since he didn't pin either man, he is NOT going to Mania as of this show. Speaking of shows, Big Show hits the Chokeslam and talks shit about how Rock isn't going to Mania and he is to end Raw. |
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6:52 PM Jul 10