| Simon Rewatches WWF - 2000 | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 3 2012, 10:46 PM (15,751 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Dec 23 2012, 07:29 PM Post #21 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
Top 10 Matches - February 2000: 1. Triple H [c] vs. Cactus Jack, No Way Out (February 27th) 2. The Rock/Cactus Jack/Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn, Raw (February 7th) 3. Chris Benoit vs. Triple H, Smackdown (February 3rd) 4. Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz, No Way Out (February 27th) 5. The Rock vs. Chris Benoit, Raw (February 14th) 6. Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn, No Way Out (February 27th) 7. The New Age Outlaws [c] vs. Edge & Christian, Raw (February 7th) 8. Chris Jericho [c] vs. Kurt Angle, No Way Out (February 27th) 9. The New Age Outlaws vs. The Rock/Cactus Jack, Smackdown (February 10th) 10. Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Rikishi/Too Cool, Smackdown (February 24th) Wrestler of the Month: Triple H/Chris Benoit [TIE] (21 Points) Tag Team of the Month: Edge & Christian (16 Points) |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 23 2012, 11:48 PM Post #22 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Smackdown March 2nd, 2000 Trenton, NK Match #1: Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho/Too Cool Eddie and Chyna are there. This was AMAZING for under 5 minutes. Benoit/Jericho delivers, as the first meeting in the WWF of the most underrated pairing ever maybe. Jericho/Dean is also good. Really fun finishing run as well. Eddie and Chyna got into it on the floor, and Jericho and Chyna then beat Dean to the back when he tries to hit Chyna. Benoit killed S2H on the floor like it was 2007, and Sexay hits the Hip Hop Drop on Saturn. Benoit broke up the cover with the Diving Headbutt, and Saturn covered to win. *** In the back, The Rock gets here and punches out Mideon for existing. Good. Fuck him. In the parking lot, Shane McMahon and The Big Show get out of a limousine. Match #2: Essa Rios [c] w/ Lita vs. Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy[WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. Total spotfest, with a lot of cool ideas, although Essa botched like half of them. Enjoyable for what it was, I guess. Lita and Matt went back and forth with interference, but the ref caught Lita a 2nd time and DQ'd Essa. ** Essa yells at Lita in Mexican, or as the greatest commentator of the modern age, Excalibur calls it, "moon talk". She slaps him, and they argue to the back. At a bar, Al Snow and Steve Blackman have matching Hawaiian shirts, and Al says he's set up Steve on a blind date with a woman from his therapy group. In the back, Shane and Show WALK~ They come out to the ring, and Shane says he had to cut The Rock off on his way to the top, so he didn't become an icon, which his father failed to do to Austin, and says he's learned from his father's mistake. The Rock then comes out and says while he's not going to WrestleMania as the #1 Contender, he's still the People's Champion and Shane McMahon made a HUGE mistake, as now has nothing to lose. He challenges them to a match tonight, and Shane accepts. Rikishi then comes out and says that while Rock doesn't need his help, the people would not only love to see Show take the Rock Bottom, but for Shane to take his bottom. I'll assume he means the Stink Face and not wanting Shane to make love to his anus. Anyways, it's now Rock/Rikishi vs. Show/Shane, which should be alright. In the back, Angle lectures D'Lo on the virtues it takes to be EuroContinental Champion, and D'Lo's face is all like "I already fucking did that. Did they seriously forget? It was only 6 months ago goddamn." Sarge then comes in and tells D'Lo that Godfather is looking for him, and D'Lo bolts. Angle says he was once a member of the Cobra Corps, but is now very disappointed in the Sarge he sees. Slaughter challenges him to a match, and Angle is further saddened that with the loss of Sarge's intelligence, he now lacks all three I's. Sarge says Kurt is going to basic training, MAGGOT Match #3: Crash Holly [c] vs. Tazz [WWF Hardcore Championship] They immediately go to the back, where Tazz throws Crash into walls and shit. Oh, but of course. Bossman and Albert run over. Tazz manages to get a wrench and kill them both and take them into a room. He locks Albert in a meat freezer, and breaks a bottle over Bossman's head, but turns around into Crash breaking a 2x4 over his head to retain. *1/2 In the restaurant, Blackman is being driven insane by the crazy chick. In the back, Crash is interviewed. He says he's the best Hardcore Champion of all time and to prove it, he's putting the title on the line 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. This is the start of something beautiful. And ultimately horrible Match #4: Edge & Christian vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori Dogg says Gunn is out of the Outlaws and out of DX, and Cole says Gunn has major surgery scheduled for next week. Terri also comes down here again to do commentary. This was okay, but it could have been better. Christian is not nearly as good a hot tag as Edge is, but Pac still bumped big for him. Terri tried to help up Edge on the floor, but he shrugged her off. She then slapped him, and as Christian got distracted with this, Pac hit a low blow and the X-Factor to win. **1/4 Terri leaves, and Edge and Christian argue. Edge explains what happened, and they're both pissed. An awesome ad for the APA airs, with the tagline, "Because we need beer money." In the back, Shane and Big Show go into DX's office. Match #5: Test vs. Viscera Oh my god, fuck you Russo. Just fuck you. This happened. I mean, it could have been worse, but still. The fact that it was above * is an accomplishment for this pairing. Test wins, and the crowd actively boos him. *1/2 In the back, Shane and Big Show now leave the DX office. I suppose we now wonder what happened, but then again, nobody gives a shit. An ad for WCW Nitro in Worchester, MA airs, promoting the top stars there as SID~, Ric Flair, Jeff Jarrett, and....Billy Kidman. Yes, that is correct. Kurt Angle comes out and cuts an awesome promo on how Slaughter was once his hero, but he traded in the Three I's for the Three B's: Bald, Bloated, and Boneheaded. Kurt says he is a hero that will remain so for some time. Say 5 or so years. Then he develops a hardcore pill addiction, loses his goddamned mind and just randomly says weird shit, goes to WCW 2, starts fucking atrocious nigger bitches instead of his smoking hot wife, and randomly punches Dixie Carter in the face so he can retain a title in a predetermined sport and occasionally gets arrested for possession. Actually, that's a complete circle from hero to disgrace to hero again. Match #6: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Sgt. Slaughter [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This was surprisingly fun. Sarge bumped awesome and worked really well for a fat retired old man. This was worked really well between the two with the whole youth/stamina vs. experience/fatness thing, along with flash Cobra Clutch spots. Angle obviously retained with the Angle Slam. **3/4 In the back, Kane walks around ominously, and Cole says he's facing both Dudleyz next. GREAT. FUCK YOU. In the back, Kurt runs around celebrating, and opens like 5 bags of packing peanuts and throws them as confetti, before turning around to see a janitor looking at him mad. He pauses for a second before continuing past him. Kurt is the best. Match #7: The Dudley Boyz vs. Kane The champions last a shockingly long time and look very credible, but that doesn't make this entertaining or good. They set up a table on the floor, but Kane ends up Chokeslamming D-Von off the apron through it for the DQ. Even though the entire match was spent with both Dudleyz in the ring. But okay. *3/4 In the restaurant, Blackman has bailed. Outside the arena, Crash puts his stuff in the trunk, and THE POSSE ATTACKS! FUCK YEAH POSSE! They have a ref, but they keep pulling one another off the cover. They brawl amongst themselves, and Crash quickly drives away, still champion. Shane and Show come out for the main, and Shane says the match has been changed. He says he felt bad about Rock never again touching WWF gold, so he's allowed a replacement that would allow The Rock to brush up against it once more: Triple H! Match #8: The Rock/Rikishi vs. Triple H/The Big Show w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon So, this was obviously good. Rikishi ruled shit, and Rock/H was reliably great. Rikishi got isolated and his taped up ankle was worked over, and then he and Show had an awesome power exchange. The finishing run was a lot of fun, due to Rock's insane energy and the super duper hot crowd. Show hit Rikishi in the ankle with a chair on the floor, but in the ring, he missed Rock and hit H with the chair. Rock took him out, and then hit H with the Rock Bottom & People's Elbow to win and pin the WWF Champion. **3/4 In the ring, Shane and Stephanie argue, and H shoves Shane. Big Show gets in H's face, and H and Stephanie leave. Cole hypes the CIVIL WAR~ between the McMahons to end the show, showing what the true focus of this feud truly is. As with the last large Civil War, I'm with Cap. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 26 2012, 10:13 PM Post #23 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is SIMON'S 10TH BIRTHDAY March 6th, 2000 Springfield, MA FUCK YEAH NEW UPDATED RAW VIDEO FOR MY BIRTHDAY! THANKS WWF 2000! YOU RULE MOSTLY! Shane McMahon and The Big Show come down to open the show, and go over Triple H attacking him on SD, and says this is a now-personal family matter, as opposed to just being business with The Rock, where he cut off his stardom so he didn't become the next big star. He then books Triple H vs. Rikishi tonight as a WrestleMania warmup because as a McMahon, he can run the show too, and says Triple H is the one who manipulated his way into the family and turned his sister into a complete slut. Triple H and Stephanie now come out, and H says Show isn't in his league, etc., etc. He says something about WrestleMania, and then books Big Show vs. Kane next as another warmup. OH MY GOD, TRIPLE H WAS SO AWFUL AT HIS JOB OF RUNNING THE SHOW IN 2000. Stephanie then slaps Shane for calling her a slut. BAH GAWD KING THE MCMAHON CIVIL WAR~! Right, so the WWF Title doesn't even fucking matter in all of this. Just goddamnit. Earlier today, The Mean Street Posse woke Tim White up and they barged into Crash Holly's hotel room and tried to pin him in his bathrobe. FUCK YEAH THIS STUFF! They ended up again arguing amongst themselves and fighting each other over who gets to pin him for the title, and Crash grabbed the belt and ran out of the room to escape. Match #1: Kanevs. The Big Show Bearer and Kane are both there. This is lumbering and slow and boring as shit, and I'm beginning to get the idea that their fun brawl in December 1999 was a rare anomaly. Along with their amazing 2006 chain wrestling classic, obviously. They do the double choke spot, until The Rock runs down and hits Show with the Rock Bottom for the DQ. JR keeps hyping that Rock has nothing to lose. *1/2 In the back, Mark Henry and Mae Young argue about whether or not she'll got out there when he fights the Dudleyz. As a side note, he wonders who the father of the hand was, and she says it's none of his business. She says if he goes out there, so does she. APA Protection: 'Cause We Need Beer Money Match #2: Mark Henry vs. D-Von Dudley Mae Young and Bubba are both there. This is like a minute, saving it from being total dog shit, I guess. Bubba tries to get in, but Mark attacks him and Mae hits the Bronco Buster. D-Von then gets hit with a Powerslam to lose. * Post-match, Mark eats a 3D because fuck him until 2003. BUBBA GETS MAE! YEAH! D-VON GETS THE TABLE. SUPERBOMB ON MAE THROUGH THE TABLE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! THOSE DAMN DUDLEYS. Match #3: Too Cool vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori This was fun, but not great. X-Pac is starting to not really give a shit here, probably because this awful feud with Kane is still happening. They get like 4 minutes, before Kane comes down. He walks down really really fucking slow, and somehow, Pac does not bother to get out of the ring and just stands there before running at Kane and being hit for the DQ. Great work there. **1/4 Kane hits a Chokeslam on Road Dogg, and Pac and Tori bail out as Kane and Paul Bearer chase them. Too Cool then dances. Oh, there's the Angle/Jericho IC Title rematch next! Thank god they hyped such an important match. Match #4: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Intercontinental Championship] JR says Chyna is in LA and not here tonight. Thank the lord. This is fun, although obviously not as good as the No Way Out match due to time constraints. Also lacking any real storytelling like that had, but it was still good back and forth for 4 minutes. The ref want down, and Jericho blocked a shot with the title belt, and got the Walls of Jericho on. The ref got back up, and Angle almost tapped BUT BOB FUCKING BACKLUND RAN IN AND GOT JERICHO IN THE CROSSFACE CHICKENWING FOR THE DQ. WAT. AMAZING. **1/2 Backlund keeps the hold on until refs pull him off, and he and Kurt raise each other's arms and celebrate. THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT. Match #5: Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Rikishi This is largely the same as their first match, without the super hot crowd (not the crowd here is bad or anything) or the story going into it, and a lot of the stuff in that match is stuff only cool the first time. Plus this was only 5 minutes. Rikishi also had the bad ankle that they used at points for a story, although it wasn't targeted nearly as much as you'd expect for a match with a top heel promoted as this super cerebral technical genius. Anyways, this is good. Rikishi has an awesome run at the end, so H uses a chair on him for the DQ. 2000 Rikishi, until like mid-summer when they start to put him vs. RTC and what not as a midcard only fixture is an AMAZING example of how to build up an upper midcard guy. **3/4 The Rock runs down and saves Rikishi from another chair shot by hitting the Rock Bottom. He drags H to the corner and leaves, and Rikishi hits the champion with the Bonzai Drop. Too Cool then runs down, and the three dance as Stephanie helps H roll out. The Rock hosts SNL on March 18th. WATCH IT. In the back, Shane tells Show that they're going to go In the back, Al Snow tells a producer to get an army of midgets to carry platters of cheese down with Blackman. He leaves, and Blackman then comes up and says if anything happens, he will rip his throat out. By refusing to show charisma, Blackman is showing charisma. Amazing. The super rare reverse charisma. Match #6: Matt Hardy vs. Steve Blackman Both partners are there. This is an enjoyable back and forth movefest. A lot of brutal stuff by Blackman, and Matt bumps around well as usual. Blackman hits a Bicycle Kick off the top to win. **1/2 In the back, Shane and Show go into the DX office. They say The Rock is a mutual problem for them tonight, so they should put aside business and Shane suggests Rock vs. Benoit in a cage. Stephanie makes it official, although Shane booked H/Rikishi in the opening segment, so why would he need approval on this? I know you're still here, Russo. Even if this show is mostly great. They both agree to stay out of each other's business for the rest of the night. Terri comes down to watch the next match. Match #7: Edge & Christian vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn w/ Eddie Guerrero Great 5 minutes! The Radicals fucking murder Edge's knee. Amazingly violent and brutal isolation of the leg, and yeah. Christian is still nowhere near as good a hot tag as Edge is. Terri gets up from the table, and helps Edge up on the floor. Dean pushes him into Terri, and she holds her ankle on the floor. He checks on her, and Dean hits a Missile Dropkick on Christian into a rollup from Saturn to win! **3/4 Terri runs back up the ramp and was clearly faking. Christian and Edge figure it out, and are pissed off. Match #8: Crash Holly [c] vs. Viscera [WWF Hardcore Championship] So, they fight to the back and nothing happens. They brawl into the APA office, using the door in a wide open space as a weapon. Vis falls onto the table, ruining the card game, so Faarooq breaks a 2x4 on his head, and Crash covers to retain. * Bradshaw then clotheslines Crash, and they argue about how much money each of them one. Faarooq says it's all his because he had 4 aces, but Bradshaw says he had 2 aces, and accuses him of stacking the deck. In the back, Mark Henry is back from the hospital and tries to attack the Dudleyz, but they knock him down and quickly bail. Before the main, Benoit sends all the Radicals to the back because he's got this shit. Match #9: Chris Benoit vs. The Rock [Steel Cage Match - Escape Only] Amazing match. During the match, both Triple H & Stephanie and Big Show & Shane came down to the ring to watch. This was much in the vein of their singles match, with a lot of back and forth and Benoit being insanely aggressive to prove himself as a top guy, but Rock continually pulling out counters but getting slower at it as the match wears on. Usual amazing gritty Benoit feel. He takes several amazing cage bumps. I don't mean to downplay Rock's showing here, because he was fucking great, but it's Benoit in a match that's about toughness and hard hitting, so he's going to excel naturally. There's a great moment to put over the brutality where Rock hits a flash Rock Bottom, but due to the punishment, both men get up at the same time. Rock manages to hit a low blow as Benoit is on the top and a Powerbomb off the top. He climbs up, and H tries to stop the escape, but Rock shoves him into Show on the floor and gets out to win. ***1/2 They attack Rock and throw him back in after Benoit leaves. H gets a chair, and swings, but Rock ducks and H hits Show with the chair! H then turns into a Rock Bottom, and Rock leaves victorious to end Raw. Happy Birthday to me. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 28 2012, 09:04 PM Post #24 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown March 9th, 2000 Boston, MA Triple H & Stephanie come onto the stage to open the show. They are joined by Shane and Big Show after they get to the ring. They say they won't get violent with each other tonight, because that's what the fans want, and they're not interested in pleasing the fans. They book like 3 different handicap matches, because once more, when a good show is had, they have to go and have a really shitty one the next time. It's Kane vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg, Rikishi vs. H/Show, and Rock vs. Benoit/Saturn. Stephanie then says she has a personal surprise for Rock after his match, and it will be a figurative slap in the face. All four walk to the back together. Shane and Stephanie shake hands, and Triple H and Show high five. H then slaps Show on the ass, because homosexuality runs rampant in DX. Earlier today, The Mean Street Posse attacked Crash Holly while he was in a laundromat, but again began to in-fight, and Crash escaped. The greatest. Match #1: The Rock vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn This could have been awesome instead of simply solid, but it only got 3 minutes or so. Benoit/Rock is pretty much a guaranteed good combination, and there was a lot of that. Rock managed to dodge a Superkick from Saturn that hit Benoit, and then he threw bombs at both men to keep them apart, and Saturn ate the Rock Bottom to lose. **1/4 Dean and Eddie run down and everyone beats up Rock. Benoit hits the Diving Headbutt, and they all leave as refs tend to Rock. Stephanie McMahon comes out, and says that the fans must be disappointed with only seeing Rock once, but he will compete again tonight, when he faces The Dudley Boyz in a handicap Tables match. Terri again comes down to watch the next match. Match #2: Essa Rios [c] vs. Christian [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Lita and Edge are at ringside with their men. They do some spots for 2 minutes, before Terri gets on the apron. Lita hits a Moonsault on Christian behind the ref's back, and when he turns around, Edge runs in and Spears Lita. And somehow that's the cause for a DQ, despite uh, neither person being in the match. RUSSO YOU SON OF A BITCH. *3/4 Terri somehow claims she cost them another match, and Edge and Christian argue. Goddamnit. In the back, Kurt Angle explains to a security guard what the Intercontinental Title means. Before the next match, Kurt Angle tells the crowd that the only way for a pro athlete to become a champion is to get the hell out of Boston. FUCK YEAH KURT ANGLE. Tazz comes out, and says Kurt has all the gold on his waist and the medals on his neck, but he'll show him some heavy metal, and he hits Kurt. Wow. SO BAD. Match #3: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Tazz [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This is ok. Good back and forth, and Tazz gets the Tazzmission. Angle continually trying to fight it off and failing was good, but then Bob Backlund ran in and got Tazz in the Crossface Chickenwing for the DQ. ** He keeps the hold on, until Chris Jericho runs down. He throws Angle out, and puts Backlund in the Walls of Jericho. Tazz hits Kurt with a Super Tazzplex, and referees have to pull Jericho off of Backlund. Still nobody's explained what the deal with Backlund is. In the back, X-Pac says he wants to be done with Kane, and Road Dogg says he's sure about this. SNL ROCK HYPE~ Match #4: X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane Tori and Bearer are both there. This is so fucking boring by now as a feud. This was as you'd expect it to be, DX bumping around big, getting in shots when they can. This is enjoyable and shit for what it is, I guess. Could have been worse, idk. This entire thing's been going on for like 4+ months though, time to end it. Now. Pac wins with the X-Factor on the chair, because he has to beat Kane again, I guess? Why couldn't he be booked this strongly in 1999, when he was actually the best guy in the fed and maybe the top non-main event babyface? **1/4 Earlier today, Mae Young got out of the hospital, and Mark Henry spoke to Kevin Kelly and said she was too delicate for this, and said someone would get hurt. In the back, Al Snow introduces Blackman to a fan in a cheesehead hat. Behind Al's back, Blackman knocks out the fan with a kendo stick. YEAH! FUCKIN STEVE BLACKMAN! Match #5: Jeff Hardy vs. Steve Blackman Their tag partners are on the floor. This is generally okay, and features A FUCKING AWESOME SPOT. Blackman leaps onto thee edge of the railing to intercept the Railrunner with a Back Drop off the railing to the floor. In the end, Al pulls Steve out of the way of the Swanton Bomb, and Blackman hits the Flying Kick off the top to win. **1/4 In the back, The Rock paces around holding his ribs. Match #6: The Rock vs. The Dudley Boyz [Handicap Tables Match] This is solid enough, but nothing that entertaining happens. Rock tries to fight both, and they bump around big and the crowd is super duper hot. Rock manages to hit a Rock Bottom on Bubba through a table, but ends up being sent through one with the 3D, and the Dudleyz win. **3/4 In the back, the McMahon siblings, Triple H, and Big Show are quite pleased. Match #7: Jacqueline[c] vs. Ivory [WWF Women's Championship] This could have been worse, but it still sucked. Jackie won with a DDT. 1/2* In the back, The Rock is being tended to by EMTs and his ribs are badly hurt. Match #8: Crash Holly [c] vs. Prince Albert [WWF Hardcore Championship] This should have been great, but there was way too much bullshit. They fight to the back, and yeah. And then The Posse interferes in the back, and Crash runs out of the arena with the title as they brawl with Albert. I guess that ends a match. * Rodney chases after Crash, and Albert fights the other two to the ring and lays them out with power moves. In the back, Rikishi tells Too Cool that the only ones they should worry about are Triple H and Big Show, because he's going to back that ass up. Match #9: Rikishi vs. Triple H/The Big Show w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon This happened. It was much more about advancing the storyline of Triple H and Show's uneasy truce than it was about Rikishi being awesome, although the finishing run was a lot of fun. Triple H and Show got into a shoving contest at one point, but it smoothed over, and they came back to hit the Chokeslam and Pedigree to win. ** H gets a chair and begins to wear out Rikishi. In the back, Too Cool goes to save, but X-Pac and Road Dogg were waiting around the corner and laid them out. The Rock comes back down with taped up ribs, and hits Show with a lead pipe he had behind his back. In the ring, he attacks Triple H and drops the pipe, but Shane takes it and hits Rock in the ribs. H then hits Rock repeatedly in the back and ribs with the pipe and knocks out Rikishi with a pipe to the face. Rock eats the Chokeslam and Pedigree, and the four rudos leave to end the show. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 28 2012, 10:25 PM Post #25 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 2/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Essa Rios, Since 2/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War March 13th, 2000 East Rutherford, NJ Triple H & Stephanie come out to open the show, and Shane and Big Show come out as soon as Stephanie tries to talk. They go over what happened on SD, even though there was a 2 minute recap to open the show. Great waste of 10 minutes, guys. Triple H says Rock could have just gone away, and done something else, but the only way to make sure The Rock stays out of their business is to humiliate him, and it goes from now until WrestleMania. Stephanie says they've signed Rock in a special handicap match at Mania, against THE TWIN TOWERS FUCK YEAH! AW MAN. It's two midgets in suits. YOU LYING CUNT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE REAL TWIN TOWERS FUCK YOU. Wouldn't have been THAT hard to sign OMG at this point, unless he was dead. In that case, my bad. They all make short jokes, and Shane makes it a tuxedo match as well, but H makes it an evening gown handicap midget match, and Show makes it 2 of 3 falls. Triple H then makes it midget on a pole, and says anything on a pole is always awesome, as all wrestling fans know. HA. The Rock now comes out, and says he's done with the handicap matches and done being humiliated. He offers them a chance to get rid of him like they did Mick Foley tonight, and offers to put his career on the line vs. Big Show if there's no interference and if he wins, he's in the WWF Title match at Mania. Triple H says he's so much dumber than he ever thought possible to do this, but accepts. Show says he can do it one more time, and he'd love to send The Rock out of the WWF. In the back, Al Snow proposes a TV series to Steve Blackman where they travel back in time to solve crimes. The best. Blackman walks off, and a man dressed as Abe Lincoln comes from out of a room, and Al says it's a no go. Match #1: The Hardy Boyz vs. Head Cheese This was pretty awful. Lots of botching all around, and no great Hardy bumping or selling to make up for it. Blackman completely misses a Moonsault from Matt that was supposed to hit him for the finish. I can tell this, because Steve picks up Matt, they clearly discuss it, and Matt gets an inside cradle to win. * In the back, Kurt Angle lectures a security guard on why his defense tonight vs. Jericho vs. Tazz will be great: because he's in it, and people adore him. In the back, Mark Henry parks wheelchair Mae Young in a locker room in front of the TV, and tells her to stay put and he's going to end this with the Dudleyz. Moolah says she'll be fine. Match #2: Mark Henry vs. The Dudley Boyz This is pretty good. Mark bumps around big, and then Bubba decides to leave and walk to the back. He grabs Mae Young and wheels her out of the room, and I guess Moolah left. He tells her to relax and enjoy the ride, since it's the last one she'll ever take. He wheels her onto the stage as Mark comes back, and then wheels her down to ringside. Bubba gets back in, and they hit the 3D. They then grab the titles and leave with Mae, because this was apparently a Finisher Match. ** They take her up to the stage and BUBBA POWERBOMBS MAE OFF THE STAGE THROUGH A TABLE! I assume this turns them face, because that ruled. Side-note: I'm enjoying how Dudleyz/E&C/Hardyz has taken a month off during the Mania build that results in their biggest match ever, and how E&C being #1 Contenders was just kind of forgotten. Bubba's in the euphoric orgasm trance again. In the back, the EMTs load Mae into an ambulance with Mark, but Moolah walks off. On the way to the ring, Kurt talks about Backlund's interference and says he shouldn't judge Bob and nor should anybody else, because he's a genuine American Hero just like Kurt. Speaking of heroes, he realizes New Jersey is in dying need of a hero, and since Bon Jovi doesn't count, Kurt will be their honorary hero. When Tazz comes out, he declares it No DQ, and JR and Lawler do not mention that he cannot change the rules at all, and treat it as a no DQ match. Match #3: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Jericho vs. Tazz [WWF European Championship - No Disqualification Match] This is a fun festival of suplex variations for 3 minutes. Bob Backlund runs in and eats the Tazzmission before Angle breaks it up. He tries the same on Jericho, but Chyna runs in and hits a low blow and a DDT. Jericho takes Tazz out, but turns into a belt shot to the face, and Angle retains. **1/4 In the back, Kevin Kelly is going around asking the superstars about Rock vs. Show tonight. Ivory says if Rock loses, the real losers would be the fans. Match #4: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Tori Entertaining 5 minutes, although lesser than the first time this match happened. This is very enjoyable, to the shock of nobody. They don't do any kind of real basic structure, but instead the match is mostly DX on the defense, as Rikishi kills them all, and they barely escape. Rikishi went to finish H with the Bonzai Drop, but X-Pac broke the ring bell over his head, and H covered the KO'd Rikishi to win. No reason Rikishi has to eat the fall there. **3/4 In the back, Kane WALKS~. He stops by Rock, and they stare each other down, before Kane wishes him good luck. Match #5: Kane vs. Big Bossman This kind of just happened. Kane won. Moving on. *1/2 In the back, The Godfather and 2 of his ladies predict The Rock wins. In the back, Fabulous Moolah says Mae Young is a bitch who got what she deserved, and goes on a tirade about how she brought Mae into the WWF, and she stole her spotlight by doing horrible and outrageous things. Fucking Russo. Match #6: Essa Rios [c] vs. Dean Malenko [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Eddie and Lita are at ringside. This happened. Watching Dean get frustrated with how awful Essa botches everything was pretty entertaining though. Lita tried a Huracanrana on Eddie, but he caught the future whore and Powerbombed her on the floor. Dean then countered a Victory Roll to relieve this piece of shit of the belt. *3/4 In the back, Terri pays the APA for something, and they say if she's sure, it's done. She walks off into Mideon, with a APA shirt that he clearly made at home and a carton of beer. Bradshaw grabs one, and they yell at him for bringing warm beer and they throw the warm beer at him. Terri comes down to watch the next match. Match #7: Edge & Christian vs. The Acolytes w/ Mideon JR says that Mideon owes the APA a shitton of money, and they're making him work it off. Fantastic. He holds the ropes for them after Bradshaw slaps him super hard in the back of the head for NOT doing os. This is okay. Not enough of E & C being brutally destroyed before the comeback, as it's too even. Mideon runs into a Spear from Edge, and Edge gets up into the Clothesline From Hell. Christian is distracted by Terri on the floor as the APA wins. ** Post-match, E & C beat up Mideon. Earlier today, The Posse jumped Crash Holly at the Newark Airport to start a Hardcore Title match. Prince Albert also gets involved. They fight by the baggage claim and PETE GAS WINS THE TITLE! YEAH! CRASH THEN HITS GAS WITH THE SCALE BECAUSE HE FUCKING BROUGHT IT ON THE PLANE I GUESS! Crash pins Pete Gas and runs off with the title. In the back, The Headbangers pick The Big Show. Fuck you two. Die. Die. Get off the TV and die. Match #8: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Val Venis/Test So, this actually was fucking awesome for the 4 minutes it got. Val/Benoit was SO SO GREAT AND NEEDS TO BE A FEUD. The long control segment on Val ruled because Val will take an ass beating, and Benoit and Saturn will dish one out without problem. Test was a fine hot tag, and The Radicals bumped around big. Eddie Guerrero came down to distract Test, and Benoit hit the Bridging German to win. Good stuff. **3/4 In the back, Show and Rock WALK~ Shane McMahon comes out and ejects Hebner, and reveals himself as the referee. Match #9: The Rock vs. The Big Show [Rock's Career vs. Entry Into Mania Title Match - Special Referee: Shane McMahon] This happened. All about the angle with Shane saving Show, counting fast, etc. He takes a bump and Show eats the People's Elbow. Hebner runs back out, but Shane punches him out and hits the flying chair shot on Rock. BAH GAWD KING A LIMO IS IN THE BACK HOLY SHIT VINCE MCMAHON IS HERE THE BOSS IS BACK THE BOSS IS BACK BAH GAWD. Triple H goes to run and cut him off from getting to the entrance, but VINCE FUCKING KNOCKS OUT THE WWF CHAMPION WITH ONE PUNCH. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. He marches down, and punches Shane and kills his kid with a chair shot, all while looking incredibly constipated. He then puts on the ref shirt, and Rock hits the Rock Bottom on Show to win. This was uh. Well. ** THE ROCK IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA VINCE MCMAHON IS BACK BAH GAWD KING WHAT AN ENDING~ Copying what I wrote the first time, because it's pretty true: "Okay, here's the problem. A FUCKING 50 YEAR OLD BUSINESSMAN KNOCKED OUT THE WWF CHAMPION AND SAVED ROCK'S CAREER. I was thinking that this feud isn't THAT bad, despite some issues on the McMahon drama being more important than the title, but then this happened. The focus is not on the Mania main event or Rock needing to win to save his career, BUT GODDAMNIT VINCE MCMAHON IS BACK AND THAT'S THE FOCAL POINT. Jesus Christ." |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 28 2012, 10:59 PM Post #26 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown March 16th, 2000 Long Island, NY Shane McMahon and The Big Show come out to open the show. Big Show should never wear leather pants, especially ones that don't fit well and give uncomfortable shots of his cock moving. Cut it out, Dunn. Shane goes on a tirade about how it is morally wrong for a father to attack his son. Look motherfucker, you're backing this piece of shit to be the face of the company. You deserve it, you ungrateful little shit. Shane shows footage of Rock saying that if he won, he would go to the WrestleMania main event, and Shane says that there was no part about Show losing his Mania title match, so it is a triple threat match at Mania. You know, usually, they don't constantly change the Mania main event a mere 2 weeks before the biggest show of the year, but ok. This fucking build, man. Big Show promises victory, and Triple H & Stephanie come out. They do the thing where H says this is screwing him over since he doesn't have to be pinned and neither Rock or Show can beat him cleanly, and then King and Cole act like this hasn't even occurred to them. Triple H and Show go back and forth, and both Shane and Stephanie say they'll be in Show and H's corners. Shane calls her a cheap slut again, and blocks the slap! Show and H go face to chest, and Vince McMahon comes out. He says he's sooooooo proud of them, and it's like watching a bad soap opera. You realize you're only adding to this, right? Of course you do. You have to. He's said that he's come back to take control again after they've made a bunch of awful decisions for business, and WrestleMania is now a family affair, since he'll be in The Rock's corner. JUST FUCKING STOP IT. JESUS. I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT FOR MANIA JUST SO THIS ENDS. Shane books Rock vs. Kane, and Steph books Big Show vs. Rikishi. Vince then books H against someone who he says Stephanie has a common interest with and has something in common with, The Godfather! Jesus christ, you are all terrible. You motherfuckers took up over 1/6th of the show with this awful awful bullshit. This went 23 minutes of a show with a 1:30:00 runtime. Commercials have now begun for WWF AGGRESSION~ Match #1: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. Edge/Christian [WWF Tag Team Championship] Hey, E&C get their shot! This was pretty mediocre, especially since the last 2 or 3 matches they had vs. each other were all real good. Short match, shitty punches and kicks with tons of daylight from everyone instead of their usual match based around cool offense in a formula tag package, and Christian is still an awful hot tag. Terri ran down and distracted Christian by sliding a chair in, and he ate a 3D to lose. *1/2 Terri prances to the back with her devil horn signal, and The Hardy Boyz run down and throw her into the ring! Edge and Christian yell at her, and go to leave, but Edge sees her on the ovaltron making the devil signal again, and he turns back and Spears her! Match #2: Triple H vs. The Godfather Stephanie and the whores are at ringside. This is mediocre as anyone could have seen coming. It suffers a lot at the end from Triple H selling way too much for a comedy character. He looked much better dominating Godfather and being aggressive as shit early on. Big Show and Shane came down, and Show slammed Triple H into the post, and threw him back in. Godfather covered and got the upset win. Godfather can pin Triple H, but Rikishi can't. Fuck you, Russo. *3/4 Back in the McMahon-Helmsley office when we get back from break, Triple H throws around furniture and shit. In the back, Al Snow brings Blackman a midget in a Martian costume for his latest idea: a sci-fi show about them being space ninjas. Blackman says it's a great idea, and Al leaves in shock. Blackman then welcomes the Martian to Earth and hits him with a kendo stick. YEAH! Match #3: Head Cheese vs. The Acolytes w/ Mideon This happened. APA beating up people is always good, but it's still Head Cheese. Epic gimmick doesn't make them not awful in the ring. Al knocked Mideon off the apron, and turned into the Clothesline From Hell for the win. *1/2 COMMERCIAL FOR "FINAL DESTINATION"! That movie was awesome. Match #4: Rikishi vs. The Big Show w/ Shane McMahon This was okay. The first match was better, since it was short and more simple, and didn't have a shitty ending. Triple H and Stephanie ran out, and the cunt distracted the ref as Triple H Pedigreed Show, and threw Shane into the post. Rikishi hit the Bonzai Drop to win. YEAH! **1/4 Too Cool runs down, and they dance with Rikishi. In the back, Kurt Angle and Bob Backlund discuss a gameplan for their tag match tonight. Angle suggest Bob apply the Crossface Chickenwing on the security guard, and Bob enthusiastically does it. BOB IS GOD. NOW BAN SUMMER VACATION. BACKLUND '00. In the back, The Big Show throws stuff and is mad. On the way to the ring, Kurt Angle speaks to his public. He says he knows Long Island is going through hard times, as the economy has plummeted. He says he solved Europe's problems, and he'll also solve theirs. He says he also understands Amy Fischer has been set free from jail, and warns everyone to watch it. He also asks if he's mentioned that the Islanders are in complete shambles. It's true, they are. He says they now have TWO heroes to look up for in their EuroContinental Champion and the two time WWF Champion, Mr. Bob Backlund. Bob addresses the plebians and says Mr. Ingels is the man who will put morality into their lives. <3 Match #5: Kurt Angle/Bob Backlund vs. Chris Jericho/Tazz w/ Chyna Tazz and Backlund brawl into the crowd which is a fantastic thing to write, and Angle and Jericho do stuff for 2 minutes, until Chris Benoit runs in and attacks Jericho for the DQ. This would make way more sense if they hadn't forgotten about Jericho vs. Radicalz for the last 2 weeks. Goddamn this fucking booking. ** Chyna gets in and Chris fucking Benoit has to sell for this wench, until Eddie Guerrero runs down to attack Chyna. He lays her out, and Benoit hits Angle with the Diving Headbutt, and both men leave. YEAH! Earlier tonight, the greatest match of all time that wasn't a match happened. Crash Holly vs. The Headbangers. Fun Time USA. Among the highlights: -Crash chucking ski-balls at Mosh -Crash escaping down the long slide -Thrasher meeting Crash upon getting off the slide with a trash can to the face -Crash running away to the Ronald McDonald Funhouse style structure -Crash and them fighting in the balls -Crash using the roping to hit a Huracanrana in the Funhouse Crash leaves with the title. This is the greatest match of all time. A video airs on Moolah now hating Mae Young airs. Is this seriously a feud? Out by the loading dock, DX is talking and Kane attacks them. X-Pac lures him into a truck, and Triple H hits Kane with a 2x4. X-Pac and Triple H then lock Kane in the back of the semi-truck. Meh. In the back, Vince McMahon says if X-Pac is so hell bent on Kane not competing, then it will be Rock vs. X-Pac tonight. Match #6: Dean Malenko [c] vs. Grandmaster Sexay [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Eddie and Scotty 2 Hotty are at ringside. This was quite enjoyable. Dean bumps around all match, and it's Malenko, so you know it's good if it's that. There's a dual interference spot, and Sexay's energy is great but not at all surprising considering his genetics. Dean retained when Eddie knocked Sexay off the top rope. **1/2 Post-match, S2H attacks Eddie, and they hit Dean with a Double Flapjack. They try it on Eddie, but he bails out to the floor. Chyna runs down, and she hits Eddie with a DDT on the floor in payback. Chyna celebrates with Too Cool in the ring. In the back, officials Slaughter and Tony Garea try to break the lock on the truck Kane is stuck in. Match #7: The Hardy Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn [#1 Contender's Match] This is maybe the greatest 5 minute match of the year. The Radicalz immediately murder Jeff with a double slingshot over the top to the floor, in which he never touches the ropes. GOOD GOD. The thud of his kidneys crying on landing was awesome. There's at least one bump a show where it now makes sense why Jeff Hardy in 2012 is Jeff Hardy in 2012. This was fucking awesome. Benoit forced both Hardys to be more and aggressive and on point than before, and he and Saturn fucking destroyed Matt during the control portion. The finishing run ruled the entire goddamned world. The Hardys looked like this amazing tag team by overcoming the brute force and aggression through quick and calculated teamwork, like Matt throwing Benoit out to the floor, timed perfectly so he'd get up and be hit with the Railrunner. Jeff got the Swanton Bomb, but instead of simply breaking the cover, Benoit grabbed his hair from the floor, AND FUCKING YANKED HIM OUT UNDER THE ROPES AND FACE-FIRST TO THE FLOOR! Matt hits Benoit with a big Plancha, and Saturn hits everyone with a Tope Con Hello and it's a double countout. Holy fuck, that ruled. ***1/4 They keep brawling to the back. 10 MILLION REMATCHES PLS. In the back, X-Pac is pissed about having to fight Rock, and Triple H and Stephanie say that Vince did this, not them. H tells him not to worry, and X-Pac calms down. COMMERCIAL FOR MOTHERFUCKING HYDRO THUNDER VIDEO GAME. YEAH BITCH. Match #9: The Rock vs. X-Pac w/ Tori This happens. H/Stephanie and Show/Shane both come out and interfere against Rock at points. X-Pac bumps around big, etc. Kane comes out, and chases X-Pac off through the crowd, which I guess is the end of the match. **1/4 They go away in the crowd, and the three brawl in the ring. Triple H accidentally hits Show, and they go at it as Rock leaves. Vince McMahon is pleased in the back. This is all terrible. Fuck you, Russo. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 29 2012, 01:09 PM Post #27 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War March 20th, 2000 Chicago, IL In the back, Cole interviews Vince and the stooges. FUCK YEAH THE STOOGES ARE BACK! Vince announces a #1 Contender's tag tournament, with the winning teams in several matches going to a battle royal later. Also, he has a big match announcement later which could rock the WWF to it's very foundation. That's not setting the bar ridiculously high or anything. Match #1: The Hardy Boyz vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [#1 Contender's Qualifying Match] The crowd is INSANELY HOT. Best wrestling city. This was a pretty awesome sprint spotfest with the Hardyz doing a bunch of great innovative sequences. They got on a roll, and Kane came down. X-Pac bailed through the crowd, and Road Dogg ate the Twist of Fate and Swanton Bomb to lose. **1/2 Post-match, Kane comes back and hits Tori with the Chokeslam. Triple H & Stephanie come out to the ring, and Triple H says that after Mania, people will have no other choice but to bow down and respect him. He calls out Vince to let him know what the match is for tonight, but The Big Show and Shane come out instead. Shane says the match is clearly Triple H vs. Show for the WWF Title like it should have been at WrestleMania, and Triple H says he'd love to defend tonight, but uh, no, since he doesn't have to defend shit until Mania. Show and Shane walk down, until Vince McMahon comes onto the stage. He says he's glad Triple H is willing, because the WWF Title will be defended tonight. It's going to be H vs. Big Show vs. The Rock! WAIT WHAT YOU'RE GIVING AWAY THE MANIA MAIN EVENT ON FREE TV?! Vince taunts Triple H into accepting the match, and H says that this is it, and there will be no Mania main event after tonight. Vince accepts, and tells H to kiss the title goodbye. So Vince is cool with there being no WrestleMania main event. It's supposed to be Godfather vs. Bossman, by BBM has Bull Buchanan with him. GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. THEY SNUCK RECON BACK ON TV. They beat up Bossman and lay him out to set up the worst opening match to a WrestleMania ever. In the back, X-Pac and Road Dogg come to H and Stephanie and are pissed that Kane keeps costing them matches. H then books Kane vs. Rikishi, and everyone is pleased with this. On the other hand, Trish Stratus is here. Yay! They hype a WWF.com video thing of her and Tori in bikinis, hopefully featuring that epic wet t-shirt shot. HNGH. Match #2: Too Cool vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn w/ Eddie Guerrero [#1 Contender's Qualifying Match] The super hot crowd made this more enjoyable than it would have been. It wasn't great or bad, it was just there, but the HUGE reactions for everything made it a blast to watch. Eddie got involved repeatedly, until Sexay tossed him at Saturn off the top. Sexay then broke the Cloverleaf on S2H with a Superkick to Dean, and Too Cool won. **1/2 Rikishi is pleased in the back, and goes off to the ring. Match #3: Rikishi vs. Kane w/ Paul Bearer JR informs us that Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg was signed for Mania. Alright then. This is a minute, and Pac and Dogg run down, just so one match tonight can be useless. 3/4* They lay them both out with low blows and X Factors. As they leave, both men quickly get up and DX is freaked out. In the back, Chris Benoit says Angle is an awful champion, and says he doesn't have to justify his actions to anyone. That is a hilarious last statement in retrospect. He says for Angle to watch what he's going to do tonight to the supposed #1 Contender, Chris Jericho. In the back, Cole asks The Rock how he feels about tonight. The Rock says that he feels Cole should go suck on a monkey's nipple. "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO FIND A MONKEY, JABRONI!" The Rock also coins JUST BRING IT here, and this is an epic promo. Rock says he's been ready for this since he lost the WWF Title at Mania 15, he's been waiting for this for a full year, so this doesn't throw him off at all. Kurt Angle comes out, and JR says that Angle will defend BOTH belts against Benoit and Jericho at Mania. Angle does commentary for the next match. Match #4: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho This is a perfect match up. Maybe the best pairing of either man's career, with the only real arguments being Benoit/Finlay, Benoit/Regal, or Jericho/Rey. Jericho has it in him to be this rough aggressive wrestler, but nobody's really brought it out of him like Benoit has. So guess what? THIS WAS FUCKING AWESOME. Benoit's intensity continues to be completely amazing, and Jericho bumps huge. Benoit really lays everything in, since he's facing Chris fucking Benoit. There's a bunch of great sequences and selling by both men. They spend the entire 6 minutes beating the fuck out of each other with straight kicks to the head and knees to the face and obviously brutal chops. Jericho sends Benoit to the floor, and he pulls himself up using the table, touching Kurt's belts. So Kurt hits him with a title, and rolls him in. Jericho hits the Lionsault to win. Great stuff. *** Bob Backlund comes down, and Jericho attacks him. Angle comes back in, and hits Jericho with the other title. Angle and Backlund celebrate. Worth noting is that Angle did not know that both belts would be on the line at Mania, or that the match had been made. JR didn't bother to correct him at all, due to Kurt being a dick. In the back, Al Snow tries to get Blackman to do something special when they get to Wisconsin, the home of the cheese head. He refuses, and Al tries to bribe him with Mr. Washington, but Steve refuses. Al says maybe a word from Mr. Franklin could change his mind, and a Benjamin Franklin impersonator walks in and touts the virtues of Wisconsin's cheese. AMAZING. Match #5: The Hollys vs. Head Cheese [#1 Contender's Qualifying Match] This sounds awful. And it was. Hollys vs. HC felt like 2576 minutes, and thankfully Tazz ran in with another ref to chase Crash into the crowd. Head Cheese then beat Hardcore to win. So bad. Blackman apparently only tries in singles matches, and only in the year 2000. 1/2* JR says that Crash escaped with the title, and has left the building. A music video for Run-DMC's "The Kings" airs, and I kind of like this song. Has a great classic Run-DMC feel, and fits DX great. GTV shows Terri and The Kat talking. Terri says her ribs hurt bad, but not as bad as Kat never being on TV anymore. I had no idea GTV was still a thing at this point. Match #6: Edge & Christian vs. The Acolytes [#1 Contender's Qualifying Match] This was enjoyable. They stopped trying to make Christian the hot tag, since he's way better at being the face in peril. They never really got a finishing run, as Mideon came down with an incredible "ACOLYTES + MIDEON = FRIENDS" t-shirt, and accidentally hits Bradhaw in the back, and Edge hits the Downward Spiral to win. **1/4 Post-match, the APA kills Mideon and leaves. Match #7: Val Venis vs. Test w/ Trish Stratus YAY. HNGH. Val was awesome here, and made Test look great. Of course, Test then made himself look awful. Trish distracted Val with her epic rack, and Test got a rollup with the tights to win. ** Val and Test brawl after the match, and Prince Albert runs down to attack Val. They double team him, and Trish gets on the mic and dubs the team T & A. The Dudley Boyz come down to do commentary. Match #8: The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian vs. Too Cool vs. Head Cheese [#1 Contender's Battle Royal] The two teams who don't matter are soon eliminated, and the E&C vs. Hardyz part is really good for a few minutes, as you could expect. The Dudleyz then run in, and hit both Matt and Edge with 3Ds, and the match is over now. ** They get a table, and put Christian on it. Jeff then eats the Superbomb onto Christian and through the table. BUT WHO WAS #1 CONTENDER?! Match #9: Triple H [c] vs. The Big Show vs. The Rock [WWF Championship] BAH GAWD A MCMAHON IN EVERY CORNER! At least they got that out of their system before WrestleMania! This crowd heat is just fucking insane. This was much much better than the same match at the 1999 Survivor Series, largely helped by the insane crowd, and only filling 9 minutes instead of like 15+. A lot of great inventive brawling exchanges and bumping by Rock. When it degenerated into chaos, the chaos was awesome and kind of insane. Shane hit Rock with a chair on the floor, and Vince punched out Shane. He went to use the chair, but H took it and punched out Vince to realign the balance after last week. He then hit Show with the chair, and hit the Pedigree inside the ring to retain. *** The Rock chases Shane off through the crowd, and H and Stephanie go to leave up the ramp, but Linda McMahon comes onto the stage! She says there will be no return 3 way, but there must be a WrestleMania main event. She says H, Rock, and Show will be in it, but adds another person. She says it should be someone who's dream deserves to come true. H's look of fear at this is the best. Linda makes it a four way elimiination match between those three, and... MICK FOLEY! The crowd goes insane and Foley comes out and beats Triple H back into the ring. He hits H and Show with the WWF Title, and holds it up to end the show. Just insane crowd response for this. I love that they did his return in the same place where he turned into Cactus Jack back in January. Great Raw. So now Smackdown's gonna suck. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 29 2012, 02:04 PM Post #28 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown March 23rd, 2000 Milwaukee, WI Triple H & Stephanie come out to open the show. He says later, they have a big announcement of their own, and then H wastes about 10 fucking minutes recapping Raw, even though there was already a recap to start the show. He asks Linda who the hell she thinks she is, and calls out Linda. She comes out and says she has as much stroke as anyone, and Foley deserved the chance. She says that she will be in Foley's corner, and it will be a McMahon in every corner. H doubts Foley is back for only one night, and Linda says that when Foley wins the WWF Title and retires on top, the very next night would start a title tournament with the finals to be held at Backlash in April. I like that they already had a contingency plan in place to make it seem like Foley could actually win. Triple H says when he beats Mick Foley into retirement again, it will be on her conscience. H then calls her a cold, heartless, bitch and she is in shock. I hope someone clips that and uses it as an attack ad against her next campaign. In the back, Ivory gives Crash Holly a massage before breaking a glass on his head. A ref comes in to count, but he kicks out and flees with the belt. Kurt Angle comes out and says that this two-fall triple threat match for both titles at Mania is clearly a conspiracy against him. Jericho then comes out to do commentary. Match #1: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle So this was awesome for 5 minutes, and Benoit made inexperienced Angle look awesome, and brought the intensity. Angle tried to use one of his titles, but Jericho came in with the other one, and hit Angle for the DQ. **3/4 Jericho also hits Benoit with the belt, and puts Angle in the Walls of Jericho until referees pull him off. In the back, Kevin Kelly asks Vince what he thinks Steph's announcement is, and he says it could be that she's pregnant and in 9 months, an 8 lb. anteater will come out of her. Also, since there were no tag #1 contenders decided, at Mania it will be a trigon ladder match between the Dudleyz, Hardyz, and E&C. Also, The Rock vs. Bubba tonight. Damn it. Earlier today, Al Snow tried to get Steve Blackman to milk a cow, but he refused and left. Match #2: The Godfather w/ Hos vs. Bull Buchanan Good to know that Jesus hates me today. This was fucking awful. Bossman ran in for the DQ. 1/4* They both beat down Godfather with nightsticks. In the back, Hardcore tells Crash that he talked to everyone in the back, and nobody will interfere in their match tonight. Match #3: The Hollys vs. Head Cheese Oh man, fuck this episode. Blackman refuses to wear the cheesehead. This sucked a bag of dicks, as expected. The ref takes a bump, and another one runs down, and Hardcore attacks Crash. He tries to win the HXC Title, and they brawl into the crowd, and the original ref counts them out. 1/2* They keep brawling, and Crash runs away. Head Cheese poses, but T & A run down and lay them out. They meet Trish at the stage, and she says everyone wants to see T&A. In the back, Shane comes up to the Posse and says to let bygones be bygones, and asks if they would want to be in the shoes of Rock, H, and Foley for one day, and they walk off. Fuck yeah, Shane and The Posse are unstoppable as a comedy troupe. Match #4: The Rock vs. Bubba Ray Dudley w/ D-Von Dudley This is good, by sheer force of Rock being awesome and bumping big and making the crowd super hawt. A lot of brawling on the floor with Rock embarrassing both Dudleyz, and D-Von set a table up on the floor, but Rock sent him off the apron into it, and Bubba ate the Spinebuster and People's Elbow to lose. **1/2 JR is in the ring back from break, and he brings out Mick Foley. He cuts an awesome promo on how instead of being one of those guys who come back in 6 weeks, he came back in 4, so he didn't break his word. He says that during his time off, he did basically nothing besides getting a haircut, so he was shocked when Linda called, and he couldn't pass this up. Between he and Triple H, since they're treating that feud as the focus now, I'm kind of really really wanting a completely impossible change in what actually happened at Mania 2000 to see H and Foley as the final 2, with Foley winning and retiring on top. GTV shows Kat giving Terri a skirt, and walking out. The skirt is all stained in parts, and Terri calls Kat a little piece of trash. Match #5: Jackie [c] vs. Lita [WWF Women's Championship] This could have been worse. Lita's bumps were pretty painful looking, in a good way, although most everything else was sloppy. Jackie retained. 1/2* Post-match, Lita lays out Jackie and hits the Moonsault. The Run-DMC "The Kings" video airs again. Shane McMahon leads out the Posse, with Rodney as The Rock, Pete Gas as H, and Joey Abs as Mick Foley. He then brings out The Big Show. He says it's time a for a preview now, and Show attacks the Posse. Shane commentating this as if it was the actual match is awesome, as is Joey Abs trying to use Mr. Socko even when the all of their prop hair has fallen off. Show lies down and yells at Rodney to do the People's Elbow, but he grabs him as he comes back and hits the Chokeslam on both Rodney and Joey Abs. Apparently this was now a match, and nobody mentioned it. Fuck it, I'm too lazy to go back and edit the tags. Ten million stars, let's put it as. Match #6: Eddie Guerrero/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Rikishi/Too Cool Yay, Eddie's back! Cole announces the Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna at Mania. This is good, and the Radicalz again make a great trio. Eddie is great with his bumping in this, since the match is like 80% Too Cool/Rikishi offense. Saturn eats the Rikishi Driver for the win. **1/2 Rikishi and Too Cool begin to dance, but X-Pac and Road Dogg run down and attack. The other 3 Radicals attack as well for the 5 on 3. Kane runs down and clears house, but X-Pac hits him with a chair. DX wears out Kane and Rikishi with the chair and leave. Stephanie comes down to the ring, and says it's time for the announcement that will knock the WWF off it's foundation. She calls Linda down to feel the impact of what she will say, and Linda McMahon comes out. Stephanie says that all her life, Linda's tried to meddle and control her, saying that when she was a kid, Linda made her make her own bed, only gave her $100/week in junior high, only got her a normal sports car when she turned 16, and only gave her enough in college for a single bedroom apartment until she "convinced" the CFO to slip her some extra cash. What a whooooooooooooore. Stephanie says she's the true dominant female in the WWF, and calls her mom a conniving bitch, and Stephanie slaps Linda, who does a KO sell of the blow. Not sure how this was an announcement at all. H meets Stephanie on the ramp and they hug to end the show. Oh, that's the main event? Fuck you. Fuck you all. This is the worst Mania build ever. WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT THE WWF TITLE BAH GAWD WHEN WE CAN WATCH MORE DRAMA UNFOLD IN THE LATEST INSTALLMENT OF "AS THE MCMAHONS TURN"?! |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 29 2012, 06:27 PM Post #29 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Raw is War March 27th, 2000 Houston, TX Linda McMahon comes out to open the show and apologizes for what happened on SmackDown. Good, now apologize for everything else awful in the last year. She demands Stephanie comes out to make a public apology to her and the family, but Vince comes out. He says he wants to hear the apology, but says he's concerned about her being at ringside for WrestleMania, and she says she can take care of herself. He says he knows that, but is still concerned, and hopes there's no hard feelings when at the end of WrestleMania, he raises the hand of the new WWF Champion, The Rock. Vince then calls out Stephanie to apologize WITHOUT her degenerate husband. She comes onto the stage alone, and apologizes for slapping Linda, and says she really wanted to slap Vince. He says he'll come down there and spank her now, but Triple H comes out. He asks what the hell kind of horrible dysfunctional family he married into, which is really the key question here. He says it's time for them to let a new era take the show over, and Shane McMahon comes out. He gets into the ring and says Stephanie was wrong to slap Linda, and he and Linda hug. He does agree that a new era should take over, and SHANE ATTACKS VINCE BAH GAWD KING! Triple H and Stephanie join in, and Mick Foley runs down to save. Show attacks him, and H tries to Pedigree Vince, but The Rock comes down for the save. He does well, but the 2 on 1 gets him and Rock eats a Chokeslam, and Foley gets a Pedigree. Vince gets hit with the WWF Title, and Linda looks very angry or constipated on the ramp. By the way, this took up 1/6th of the 2 hour airtime, and with the run-time at a little under an hour, 40 minutes, this took up over 20% of the total time of the show. Yep. Fuck this entire family. Match #1: Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho/Chyna Well, hey, this is 75% FUCKING AWESOME...for 3 minutes. Benoit has his own music for the first time here. Except that it was 2 minutes, and didn't have any of the people who are now dead beating the shit out of anyone. Eddie did some awesome heel stuff vs. Chyna, where he refused to face her, and then attacked her from behind. Jericho tried the Lionsault on Benoit, but Eddie pushed him of hard, and Benoit covered to win. *3/4 Eddie and Chyna brawl on the floor, and Benoit attacks Chyna. Jericho is soon involved, and he and Benoit brawl in the crowd. Eddie and Chyna get into the ring, and Saturn and Malenko run down and attack her. It's a 3 on 1, until Too Cool runs down to save. In the back, Vince says he's calling out Shane tonight. Linda pleads with him not to, but he says this is his arena, not hers. Match #2: Crash Holly [c] vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] So, in under 20 seconds of this, Tazz runs in with a referee. This then stops being a match, because The Headbangers and Viscera also do the same. Crash escapes to the back, but is attacked at points by The Posse and Kaientai. He gets outside and everyone chases him, but he hides behind a trash can. He then quickly jumps inside and locks them out, which somehow signals a victory. JR dubs him "The Houdini of Hardcore" 1/2* In the back, Shane says that him vs. Vince is the dream match of young vs. old and he'd love payback for the chair shot two weeks ago. But, no. Kevin Kelly asks Rikishi about tonight vs. Road Dogg, and he respond, "MY ASS, HIS FACE!" He's like a islander Ollie Williams. Match #3: Rikishi vs. Road Dogg "Oh hey, it's your pal WWF booking here again. Guess what? Fuck you!" basically sums this up. It is under a minute. Road Dogg leaves after a Stink Face, and is counted out. Yeah. 1/2* Too Cool comes down, and they all dance. In the back, The Rock shits on this awful McMahon family saga, and challenges anyone involved in this mess to fight him tonight. On HeAT, there was a sit-down interview with E&C and The Hardy Boyz. From the highlights, they made shoot comments about being blond haired teenybopper babyfaces, plaid tights, and being jobbers at one point, and Edge and Christian say they're tired of Matt and Jeff talking about themselves all day, and leave. Later on HeAT, they cost the Hardyz a match vs. Kaientai, and they returned the favor by costing E&C a match vs. Chyna/Jericho. Edge and Christian come down to do commentary, and state that they do not respect the Hardy Boyz as men because they aren't men, they're boys. They spend all match saying how ready and focused they are for this match at Mania. Match #4: The Hardy Boyz vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn This was a ton of fun for the 6 minutes it got. The Radicals kill Matt Hardy with cool double teams, Jeff is a great hot tag, awesome finishing run with innovative stuff, etc. That kind of thing. Hot crowd too. Christian distracted the ref, and Edge ran in and Speared Jeff. Saturn then hit a Tiger Suplex to win. *** In the back, Shane says that if Rock wants a fight, it can be Rock vs. Big Show/Shane tonight. Kane is in the back, and looks up to the left like this is Scrubs and he's having a daydream. Disappointingly, he does not snap out of it and say something very very odd. Floating Head Kane? Kurt Angle comes out, and says the two fall title match at Mania is unfair, as is making him face the Big Red Retard tonight. He then says that there's nothing wrong with being retarded, and says that he has many retarded fans who admire and respect him. It's true. He says this is all a conspiracy, and Your Olympic Hero does not like it one bit. Match #5: Kurt Angle vs. Kane w/ Paul Bearer This happened. It was better than their match in January, and Angle constantly trying amateur takedowns was funny, but yeah. Kurt bumps for the big man, etc. He hit Kane with the IC Title for the DQ. ** Post-match, Kane sits up and Angle eats the Chokeslam and Tombstone. In the back, Vince says it will actually be Rock/Vince vs. Show/Shane. Match #6: Test w/ Trish Stratus & Albert vs. Al Snow w/ Steve Blackman Fuck you. They announced Head Cheese vs. T&A for Mania, in another case of something awful happening. This was a minute and fucking terrible. Al Snow misses Blackman tossing him Head, and Test uses Head on Snow to win. 1/2* In the back, Stephanie recommends Triple H be the special referee if he wants to mess with The Rock, and H agrees. Match #7: The Acolytes vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan This is awful for a minute, until The Godfather and D'Lo come down with many a whore on their arms, and give them to The Acolytes in exchange for their spot in the match. This ends the match, since you cannot fucking do that. GODDAMNIT RUSSO I KNEW YOU WERE STILL HERE. Russo clearly was given the book for the night here, since this is the worst Raw in forever. 1/4* Godfather and D'Lo drive Bossman and Buchanan from the ring. In the back, Linda names a 2nd guest referee for tonight as Mick Foley. GTV~ shows The Kat and Terri being bitchy at each other in the back, and Moolah and Terri are close now. Moolah tears Kat's shirt, and Mae Young returns, not injured at all anymore, and attacks Moolah. This is just the worst. Not to mention that GTV came back literally for the sole purposes of starting this feud. In the back, The Rock is displeased with Vince being his partner, and tells Vince to know his role and stay out of his way. Match #8: X-Pac w/ Road Dogg & Tori vs. D-Von Dudley w/ Bubba Ray Dudley Bubba leers at Tori on the floor. FORESHADOWING FUCK YEAH. This happened. After a minute, Bubba got bored or something and set up a table. Dueling interference, and Road Dogg hangs D-Von up on the top rope, and the X-Factor wins. Pac has pretty much checked out and stopped trying at all by now. Disappointing. *3/4 Post-match, Kane comes in. He attacks everyone, but the tag champs hit him with the 3D. They leave, and DX taunts him. Kane sits up and tries to Chokeslam Tori, but Pac hits a low blow. X-Pac and Road Dogg toss him over the top and through the table. Match #9: The Rock/Vince McMahon vs. The Big Show/Shane McMahon [Special Referees: Triple H & Mick Foley] Somehow, THIS gets 11 minutes. Stephanie is also at ringside. They attack Vince when he comes into the ring, allowing Rocky to run to save for the big pop. Super duper duper duper HAWT crowd here. Rock does all the heavy lifting with his great selling and amazing fiery comebacks here. There's a a 3-4 minute run of Vince vs. Shane that is just so fucking terrible and drags it way down. Thankfully, Rock gets back in. The People's Elbow is hit, but H attacks Foley before 3. Vince then comes in, and yet again a 50+ year old businessman destroys the WWF Champion with his punches. Show tries to Chokeslam Vince, but Foley takes him to the floor with the Mandible Claw. The Rock Bottom on Shane wins. **1/4 WRESTLEMANIA HYPE BAH GAWD KING~ Fuck this build. Fuck you, Vince Russo. I know you still work here, you cocksucker. Catch fire, you fucking monster. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 29 2012, 07:13 PM Post #30 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Jacqueline, Since 2/3/2000 WWF Smackdown March 30th, 2000 San Antonio, TX Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. Rikishi/Kane w/ Paul Bearer This happened. It wasn't BAD. It was kind of just there. Dudleyz were solid but not good, same with Rikishi, Kane, and the crowd. Kane Chokeslammed both Dudleyz, and Rikishi hit the Bonzai Drop on D-Von to win. ** In the parking lot, Triple H and Stephanie get here in the DX Express, and are met by X-Pac, Road Dogg, & Tori. Triple H & Stephanie come down to the ring. He hypes the main event of Mania for like 5 minutes without saying anything of interest and just repeating the build, basically. Vince comes onto the stage, and says at WrestleMania, there will be No DQ or No Countout. He leaves, and Triple H says he's not scared because he retired Mick Foley in matches more violent than that, and Mick Foley comes out. He says since it's No DQ, he'll bring a friend to Mania, and pulls out the 2x4 in barbed wire! YEAH! He says the one advantage he does have at Mania, is that H has to get up and go to work the next day, where as he has nothing to lose, really. In the back, Angle is lecturing an elderly security guard on how facing Kane on Raw, and Rock tonight, in addition to the Mania match is a clear conspiracy. The Big Show comes up and leads Kurt away, and says they need to talk. XFL PROMO. YEAH! They've gotten on NBC. Match #2: Crash Holly [c] vs. Tazz [WWF Hardcore Championship] They go to the back, and within a minute, The Posse, Headbangers, and Viscera get involved. Crash escapes, etc. Boring as shit. 1/2* GTV~ shows us The Kat seducing Val Venis in his hotel room to get an advantage in her match against Terri at Mania. Which Val will be the ref for, by the way. Yes, this is how the match was announced. The Hardy Boyz come down to do commentary. Match #3: Edge & Christian vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori Jeff admits he does not know his original hair color. Goddamnit, Jeff. Pretty good match, especially by standards of this piece of shit show so far. Christian is isolated, and Edge is a great hot tag. X-Pac has some bumps that make it looks like he cares again, and yeah. Like was done to them on Monday, The Hardyz run in and cause E&C to lose via Twist of Fate/Swanton Bomb. **1/2 In the back, Foley offers to watch Rock's back tonight, given that he saw Show talking to Angle. Rock says he appreciates it, but he doesn't need or want anyone's help, and Mick's like, "ok, no biggie." Kurt Angle comes out and gives all his young fans permission to stay up late on Sunday to watch Mania, and see their Olympic Hero remain EuroContinental Champion. Match #4: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle H/Stephanie and Big Show/Shane both come down to ringside early on to watch. Other than that, it's Angle and Rock in 2000, so it's at least good. Big bumps, hot crowd, etc. I like the idea they're doing where Angle continually keeps learning, as he's able to get more offense on Rock than he did in their first 2 matches. Interference from Show and Shane here, and yeah. Super duper hot crowd for Rocky as is becoming the norm, and the Rock Bottom wins it. Good match, although not as good as their first one. **3/4 H and Show beat on Rock, until Vince McMahon comes out and knocks H and Show down with one chair shot a piece. Oh for the love of christ, really? Shane then kills Vince with his flying attack with the WWF Title belt. He also hits Rock with the title. Show holds up the WWF Title. Shane then hits H with the belt. I really feel like this should have ended the show. Before the next match, Eddie Guerrero hits on Chyna and says he knows she wants him. Match #5: Chris Jericho w/ Chyna vs. Eddie Guerrero w/ Chris Benoit This was awesome...for 2 minutes. Then Benoit ran in for the DQ. Just, fuck you Russo. Fuck you. ** They both beat on Jericho until Chyna came in. Eddie begged off from her and she chased him to the back. Chris and Chris brawled in the ring, and Angle ran down and hit them both with Olympic Slams. Stephanie McMahon comes out and reads a letter from a fan about how awesome she is. Vince comes out and says that this is all terrible. Linda comes out and says the way this family has become is because of Vince in the last year and a half, and says that it is his duty to fix it, and she leaves. He says, nay, GUARANTEES to fix it at WrestleMania. However, since Steph likes to slap people, she'll have her first official match when she faces WWF Women's Champion Jackie tonight! GTV shows Val and Terri together. I sure hope he learned from their last time and wrapped his shit up. Terri says she doesn't want that to influence his judgment at Mania, and he says that foreplay...no, wait, fairplay is his middle name. In the back, the hardcore brawl breaks out again, now with Hardcore Holly and The Acolytes involved. Crash runs out to the ring, and gets a mic. He says this 24/7 thing is killing him, so at Mania, it will be a Hardcore Battle Royal for 15 minutes, with the last man to get a pin before the end of the time is champion. They agree, and Hardcore says this is personal between them, and attacks Crash and they brawl through the crowd. In the back, Stephanie is panicking about the main event. Match #6: Dean Malenko [c] vs. Scotty 2 Hotty [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Saturn and Sexay are there. This is all of 2 minutes tops. S2H has a cradle and Saturn and Jerry's kid brawl on the floor, distracting the ref. Eddie Guerrero runs in from the crowd and rolls the cradle over, and Dean retains. *1/2 WWF AGGRESSION! GTV shows Mae Young trying to fuck Val in the hotel room, but he kicks her out. Match #7: The Hardy Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus So, this ruled and showed what they're capable of later when they get more than 4 minutes. Basically, ALBERT FUCKING MURDERS JEFF HARDY. Jeff is awesome at making everything look brutal and selling with a ton of sympathy. Test does alright mostly, but Albert is clearly the better member of the team. Trish is great as usual on the floor, in terms of both managing and being hot as fuck. Matt hits Test with the flash Twist of Fate to win. **3/4 Post-match, they lay out the Hardys. They try the LE CANNONBALL~, but Test does an Elbow Drop instead, and completely misses, and hits a flying headbutt instead. Ahahahahahahah, Test sucks. Edge and Christian now run down and attack the Hardyz. They get a ladder, and climb up it, but The Dudley Boyz run out, and push them off. They then pose on top of the ladder. In the back, Head Cheese attacks T & A and lay them out. Match #8: Jackie [c] vs. Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley w/ D-Generation X [WWF Women's Championship] Steph refuses to get in until Earl calls it anyways and yells at her to get her ass in. H and Earl yell at each other, and X-Pac trips up Jackie and Tori DDTs the champion. Stephanie quickly covers to win the title. I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul. They all celebrate, and Kane comes out with Rikishi. They attack Pac and Road Dogg, but then The Dudley Boyz attack Kane and Rikishi. The Hardyz come down to attack the Dudz, and that brings out E&C. The Radicals then come out for some reason, and then Jericho and Chyna and Too Cool join in. Then half the locker room empties out for no real reason mostly. Shane leads out Big Show to kill a bunch of them, and The Rock runs down after him. Mick Foley runs in with the barbed wire 2x4, and he and Rock clear the ring. They stare each other down, and Show gets up on the floor. H and Stephanie come back out onto the stage and hold their titles. WRESTLEMANIA BUILD. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 29 2012, 07:24 PM Post #31 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
Top 10 Matches - March 2000: 1. Chris Benoit vs. The Rock, Raw (March 6th) 2. The Hardy Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn, Smackdown (March 16th) 3. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho, Raw (March 20th) 4. Triple H [c] vs. The Rock vs. The Big Show, Raw (March 20th) 5. The Hardy Boyz vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn, Raw (March 27th) 6. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho/Too Cool, Smackdown (March 2nd) 7. Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Val Venis/Test, Raw (March 13th) 8. The Rock/Rikishi vs. Triple H/The Big Show, Smackdown (March 2nd) 9. The Rock vs. Kurt Angle, Smackdown (March 30th) 10. Triple H vs. Rikishi, Raw (March 6th) Wrestler of the Month: The Rock (22 Points) Tag Team of the Month: Edge & Christian/The Hardy Boyz/Too Cool [TIE] (13 Points) |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Dec 30 2012, 12:06 AM Post #32 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/27/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 2/27/2000 WWF European Champion: Kurt Angle, Since 2/10/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 ![]() WWF WRESTLEMANIA 2000 APRIL 2ND, 2000 ANAHEIM, CA Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. Ice-T raps The Godfather & D'Lo Brown to the ring to promote WWF Aggression. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere else, and raps really fast to get out of there. Match #1: The Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan vs. The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Hos OH MY GOD, THIS WAS THE SHITS. Worst WrestleMania opener, it has to be. Bull's sole contribution is a sweet Springboard Turning Clothesline out of the corner, but otherwise puts on dull and listless power wrestling. Bossman vs. D'Lo is good, but hardly happens. Lawler informs us that Pete Rose is in the house and has a bat for his own protection. The match finally fucking ends after 10 minutes when Buchanan beats D'Lo with a Flying Legdrop. D'Lo and Bossman did well, but couldn't overcome their shitty partners when said partners did most of the match. * In the back, Triple H and Stephanie are hanging out, and look relaxed. They talk about how great it is that they both have title belts now, and JR wonders why they're so calm before the biggest match of Triple H's life. Match #2: Crash Holly [c] vs. Tazz vs. Hardcore Holly vs. Viscera vs. The Acolytes vs. The Mean Street Posse vs. TAKA Michinoku vs. Sho Funaki vs. The Headbangers [WWF Hardcore Championship - 15 Minute Scramble] THE POSSE GETS THE BIGGEST POP COMING OUT! YEAH! So whoever has the belt at the end of 15 minutes is the champion. This is a total mess. Tazz wins the title, then Visc. Joey Abs using a cricket bat rules. Crash bleeds. Pete Gas bleeds even more. Funaki wins the title and tries to bail to the back, and everyone chases. Rodney then wins the title, then Joey Abs, then Thrasher, AND THEN PETE GAS WINS BACK AT RINGSIDE FUCK YEAH! Tazz then wins it again :(. Tazz and The Hollys fight in the ring, and everyone else brawls on the floor for no reason, when they should he going for the champion. Crash wins with 34 seconds left. Tazz gets the Tazzmission on Crash with 25, and Hardcore breaks a glass picture over their heads. He covers, and the ref botches it, and Crash was supposed to retain, but he clearly hit 3 before the buzzer, so Hardcore won. I spent more time discussing all the belt changes than anything interesting going on, and that's because they did all of nothing for 15 minutes besides walk around and hit people with cookie sheets. 1/2* Replays show that Crash kicked out at the end, which is how they'll get out of this fuck up. Highlights air from WWF AXXESS. In the back, Al Snow is talking to someone in a bathroom stall, and Blackman says not to do anything stupid. Before the match, Al Snow introduces the one time Head Cheese mascot, CHESTER MCCHEESERTON! It is a short portly middle aged Mexican man in a costume as a block of cheese. Match #3: Head Cheese vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus This was also horrible. One of the rare matches where JR gives up on trying to sell it as a good match and calls it "bowling shoe ugly". Which is code for when JR apologizes to the fans for how bad a match is. This manages to be boring, sloppy, and heatless, and it's rare that a match manages to be all three things. At least the opener wasn't sloppy. Clock says this was 7 minutes, but it felt so much longer. Al Snow is beat with the Flying Elbow Drop from Test. 1/4* T & A leaves, and Al Snow gets up. He brings Chester in and says this was a stupid idea, and he's sorry, and it's time to cut the cheese. They attack Chester and Blackman hits a Bicycle Kick. They then hit the Death Sentence on Chester. ![]() In the back, Mae Young and the Kat get ready, and they do the trick where they strategically put items in the way of a naked Kat's breasts and lady parts. In the back, Cole interviews The Dudley Boyz. D-Von says tonight is the night but it seems like the WWF keeps trying to hold the Dudley Boyz down. He says he doesn't like ladders or heights, but at WrestleMania, the Dudley Boyz will remain champions. Bubba says they take WrestleMania and the Ladder Match to a whole new level of violence, and it will be when they leave STILL Champions that the Hardys and Edge & Christian realize that THOU SHALT NOT F -- UGH WITH THE DUDLEY BOYZ. OH MY BROTHA, TESTIFY! Bubba being mad that he can't say "fuck" here subtly was fantastic. Match #4: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian [WWF Tag Team Championship - Triangle Ladder Match] This is the MOTN clearly, it's why this WrestleMania isn't written off as a complete waste. They did a great job gradually building up the insanity of everything, and there didn't seem to be a wasted moment in 22 minutes. Although this is absolutely a prototype, as they refined themselves more at SummerSlam and WrestleMania X7. This has a less heated crowd than those, due to this being kind of a shitty WrestleMania crowd, but also due to this being the match that made all six into huge stars this getting those huge reactions in later matches. Something I loved was how the Hardys and E&C dominated early on, and it was only when tables got introduced that the Dudleys began to catch up. Sometimes, it was obvious they were setting spots up, but they mostly were good about not doing that. BUBBA ACTUALLY HITS HIS BACK SENTON! WHOA! The match picks up in a really huge way with Christian's incredible dive. ![]() The spots off ladders now begin, such as Edge Spearing Jeff off the ladder, Matt taking Edge off with a Splash Mountain Bomb, etc. Then the bigger fireworks. EVENT OMEGA OFF TWO LADDERS! EDGE AND CHRISTIAN DOUBLE SUPERPLEX D-VON OFF A LADDER! BUBBA POWERBOMBS MATT OFF THE ANNOUNCE TABLE THROUGH A TABLE! Jeff is really the MVP of this, both in terms of offense and lunatic bumps. The Hardys began to put forth great cumulative selling too at the end. The biggest moment from this and the one that's still in WrestleMania highlight reels is Jeff's insane Swanton Bomb off a super ladder to Bubba in the entrance way is still really crazy. That sums up this entire match, it's well known but holds up really well due to the little things. ![]() Back in, Matt and Christian fight on the table platform that the Dudleyz erected. Edge comes on the other side, AND EDGE AND CHRISTIAN SHOVE MATT OFF THE PLATFORM THROUGH ANOTHER TABLE! EDGE AND CHRISTIAN GET THE BELTS! YEAH! **** ![]() In the back, Kevin Kelly is with Mick Foley and Linda McMahon. Linda wishes Mick luck in fulfilling his dream, and Mick says nobody's holding anything back, and this being the biggest show of the year and this being the biggest year in WWF history, this is the biggest match of all time. He says he has a second chance and he does believe this is a fairy tale for him, and it will come true. Val Venis comes out, wearing the epic "I'm Cocked, Locked, & Ready To Unload" t-shirt where the writing looks like semen, and has a referee towel, and says that while Mania comes once a year, he comes every single night. FUCK YEAH VAL! Match #5: Terri w/ The Fabulous Moolah vs. The Kat w/ Mae Young [Catfight Match - Special Referee: Val Venis] This is good placement, to give people a break after that amazing stunt show. Doesn't make it good. Terri won by throwing Kat out, which is apparently how you win a Catfight Match. 45/Poop Post-match, Mae hits Moolah with the Bronco Buster. They announce that WrestleMania XVII will be in the Houston Astrodome in 2001. That should be a decent show. In the back, Eddie Guerrero tells Dean and Saturn that tonight, he will lay all of his Latino Heat on Chyna. She sees it on a TV with Too Cool, and says he's disgusting. Match #6: Eddie Guerrero/Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko vs. Too Cool/Chyna This is alright, but Chyna held it back big time. The focus is on Eddie flirting with Chyna and her being disgusted. Lawler implies that if you ever spurn a Latino's affections, they will beat the fuck out of you. Great stuff. The Radicalz control both members of Too Cool, and have their typically great control segments. Chyna comes in and somehow dominates one of the greatest of all time and two of the best of this generation. She grabs Eddie's cock for at least 10-15 seconds, and I'm assuming that's when she decided she wanted Latino Heat. She then gets a horrible looking Sleeper Slam for the win. **1/2 They dance post-match. On HeAT, Angle found out that Bob Backlund is why he has to defend both titles, and Angle put him in the Crossface Chickenwing. Match #7: Kurt Angle [c] vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Intercontinental & European Championships - Two Fall Match] The first fall is for the IC Title, and the next, the European Title. The two fall structure holds them back due to them working two different shorter 6-7 minute matches, and while the match is very good because it's these three in 2000, it's not as great as it could have been in a normal match for the 14 minutes the entire thing got. Still, a lot of great spots here, and good exchanges, especially the Benoit/Jericho stuff. Benoit won the IC Title with the Diving Headbutt on Jericho, and then the Lionsault on Benoit won the Euro Title for Jericho. Angle has lost both titles without being pinned for either. *** In the back, Cole interviews Vince McMahon and asks if he will be a factor tonight. Vince says he's always a factor one way or another, but for the record, The Rock is very confident of becoming WWF Champion, and he's sure he's confident without him or not. Cole asks about the family, and Vince recalls that he GUARANTEED to make things right tonight with the family. Something I never considered before is how well this is set up with Rock and Vince. I mentioned in 1998 that the Survivor Series turn worked because Rock had always been Vince's chosen champion. But when Rock turned face in 1999, he did it on Shane, he never really split from Vince, so there's no real reason for them to have bad blood. They're obviously not going to be buddy/buddy because it would kill The Rock's whole deal, but it makes sense that he wouldn't have that much against it. In the back, Triple H and Stephanie watch and Triple H says it's not about what's right, it's about who's the best, and that's him. He says he is the Game, and he will not be beaten, because he won't allow it. Match #8: X-Pac/Road Dogg vs. Kane/Rikishi Tori and Paul Bearer are both there. This is thankfully short at 4 minutes. Kane gets in to kill everyone along with Rikishi. They get stink faces, and Kane hits X-Pac with the Tombstone, AND THE FEUD IS FINALLY OVER. THANK GOD. *1/2 Too Cool comes down, and so does the San Diego Chicken. They dance with Rikishi, and Kane assumes the chicken is Pete Rose. He gets ready to Chokeslam him, but Pete Rose runs down with a bat, but Rikishi intercepts it. Rose eats a Chokeslam and Stink Face. Unfortunately, this is the last year that this happened. ![]() In the back, Kevin Kelly interviews The Rock. He says 12 months ago, after every interviews, run in, backstabbing, win, loss, and everything thrown at The Rock, every Chokeslam, Mandible Claw, and Pedigree, FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO WRESTLEMANIA! He says it's not about the lights, the camera, the glitz or glamour, the Stephanie/Triple H marriage, the McMahon family saga, Mick Foley's final match, and it sure as hell isn't about The Big Show, it's about the WWF Championship. And if The Rock has an ounce of sweat to spill or blood to drop, then he will layeth the smacketh down on their candy asses, and he will do it for the MILLIONS (AND MILLIONS). Because TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT. IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING. YEAH! The entrances for this match have two of the better shots WWF photographers have ever gotten of entrances: ![]() ![]() Match #9: Triple H [c] vs. The Rock vs. Mick Foley vs. The Big Show [WWF Championship - Elimination Match - No DQ, No Count Out] As promoted, a McMahon is in every corner. This in NO WAY needed 36 minutes, but they did a surprisingly good job of filling the time. They got Big Show out of the way early, which helped a lot, so they can focus on the two hottest WWF Title feuds in the last year in Rock/Triple H and Triple H/Foley. The initial chaotic outburst is great, and then everyone swarms on Big Show to take him out. Foley hits Show in the back with a chair as he comes off the ropes and Rock hits the Rock Bottom to eliminate him. It picks up a lot from here. Crowd gets into it now, as the previous card had basically killed them. Some wonderful floor brawling, and all pairings get good play. Mick kicks out of one Pedigree, but a chair shot, and a second Pedigree on the chair eliminates him. Rock/Triple H now happens as it should have all along. They had TWO blatant time killing crowd brawl sections, but apart from that, they did well. H's Piledriver on the steps ruled, shame he hasn't broken that out since, I don't think. Great finishing run. Shane came out earlier to bloody Vince, but Vince comes back down with a chair AND BAH GAWD HITS ROCK WITH IT. He kicks out, so Vince hits him again and H covers to win. Given the multitude of bullshit and giving it way too much time, they get the three star mark for it being as good as it was in spite of that. *** Post-match, Vince and Stephanie hug in the ring. Well, I guess he did come through on his guarantee to fix it. Kinda. Shane gets back in, and Vince tells him to stay away. Rock gets back in and Shane eats a Rock Bottom. And then so does Vince. Stephanie gets in his face and slaps him, so she also gets a Rock Bottom, as well as the People's Elbow. Rock then walks off, and Mania ends with the McMahons getting up and JR wondering why Vince screwed The Rock. Just goddamnit. I believe now more than ever that each WrestleMania accurately represents the previous 12 months, with a few exceptions (WrestleMania 25 being average after an amazing 2008). 1999 was full of insane/retarded booking, carried by talented midcard stunt shows and great main eventers, and that's what this show was. But only by having it can they fully get rid of the lingering effects of 1999, and move on to the greatest 12 months in WWF history probably. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 5 2013, 05:01 PM Post #33 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Hardcore Holly, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War April 3rd, 2000 Los Angeles, CA Shane McMahon comes out to open the show. He gets on the mic and apologizes to Vince, and was so proud to be his son after what Vince did last night. He says he'll continue what dad started last night tonight, and challenges The Rock to a match tonight. H and Stephanie come out now, and Stephanie bitches about how in pain she is. H says that he's her husband, and he'll get revenge for what Rock did to her, not Shane, and challenges Rock to a match tonight. Non-title, of course. Vince McMahon comes out now, and hugs Stephanie. He tensely shakes hands with Triple H, and then tensely shakes hands with Shane, but then they happily hug. YEAH! Vince says he's going to face The Rock instead of his son, and as for owing an explanation about why he turned on The Rock, he's not inclined, since he has to answer to nobody. Vince then preaches to the LA crowd about how plastic surgery is wrong and they're the fakest and phoniest people in the history of Earth, and they're not even real human beings. He then says that one of the three of them tonight will face The Rock and attempt to drive him out. Match #1: Chris Jericho [c] w/ Chyna vs. Eddie Guerrero [WWF European Championship] This was as good as you'd think it would be, for 5 minutes or so. Eddie bumps big, and they have some fun strike exchanges. The ref takes a bump, and Jericho has it won. Chyna comes in and hits a low blow and a DDT. She throws the ref back in, and Eddie covers to win the title. BOOOOOOOOOOO **1/2 Post-match, Eddie and Chyna hug and leave together. MAMACITA. In the back, Stephanie pleads with Vince to let Triple H avenge her, since it's the husband's job to do so, and he says he'll think about it. Match #2: X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus So, this was shockingly awesome. X-Pac bumps like it's 1999 again and he gives a shit, and Albert and Test FUCKING DESTROY HIM on everything. Dogg is solid as usual. Test manages to not suck here, but Albert is clearly much better. Anyways, this was pretty good. Great story of experience vs. raw power, and the ending was cool. albert had Pac up for the Baldo Bomb, but Dogg got a low blow from behind, and X-Pac hit the X Factor. I hope that this means Pac cares again. Please? No? We have to wait until like mid 2001? ![]() **3/4 In the back, Kurt Angle and Fink talk. Angle says he was screwed out of the titles, and Fink says the rules stated that he could lose without being pinned, and that he's simply no longer a champion. Angle then puts him in the Crossface Chickenwing while yelling that he IS a champion, it's true, it's true. In the back, Shane tells Vince that him vs. Rock is what's right, and Vince says he'll come up with a way to figure out who faces Rock. Match #3: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Tazz [WWF Intercontinental Championship] They beat the shit out of each other, and it is gloriously violent at points. Like when Benoit has Tazz face-down on the mat, and repeatedly punches him in the back of the head like 10 times in a row. Or the brutal chop/punch exchange at the beginning. Tazz gets the Tazzmission, and Saturn runs down. Tazz deals with him, but Benoit hits a Bridging German to retain. What the shit, 3 good matches in a row? What the hell is this? **3/4 Post-match, Tazz repeatedly attacks Saturn up the ramp, and the three brawl to the back. In the back, Big Show tells Shane that it's time for The Big Show to go Hollywood. In the ring, Michael Cole brings out the new WWF Tag Champions, Edge & Christian, who come from the back for the first time. They douchily kick him out of the ring to begin their slow heel turn. They put themselves over, and invite The Hardy Boyz out to the ring for some congrats on the great match. They limp out, and the champions condescendingly give them words of praise. They say there's nothing wrong with 2nd best, or 3rd best, and at that, they invite The Dudley Boyz out. All four look at the Dudley Boyz, and E & C attack the Hardy Boyz from behind! The Dudleys attack the champions, and Edge eats a 3D. The Hardyz and Dudleyz then fight, and referees come down to break it up. In the parking lot, Eddie and Chyna get in a sweet low rider, the first of many, and they drive away. Match #4: Rikishi w/ Too Cool vs. The Big Show Alas, they cannot go 4 good matches in a row. This wasn't bad, but after a minute, the ref caught Too Cool interfering, and it was a DQ. During the match, Show kept trying to dance and entertain people. *3/4 Post-match, Show eats The Worm. He leaves, and Rikishi and 2 Cool dance. Show watches from the stage closely, and seems to get an idea, and leaves. In the back, Vince, Shane, and Triple H draw straws for who faces The Rock as Vince holds them, and Shane gets it. He seems not excited. Triple H theorizes that Shane is stupid for letting the guy holding the straws go 2nd. The Big Show is back in the ring, and says he's a great athlete and a huge monster, but SNL showed there's so much more to him then that, and that everyone knows he's funny and entertaining. He has the boys in the truck hit the Too Cool theme, and Show dances before someone cuts the music. In the back, The Rock cuts a promo saying at Mania, Vince McMahon made the worst decision of his life, and he promises to win the WWF Title. In the back, Too Cool mocks Show's bad dancing. Match #5: Hardcore Holly [c] vs. Crash Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] This happens. It's pretty clearly only happening to rectify the fuck up from Mania, so whatever. Some good weapon shots, before The Acolytes run down and lay out Hardcore and throw Crash on top, and Crash has paid them off to help him regain the title. I love the Crash/APA stuff. ** Crash celebrates up to the back, and The Posse immediately attacks him on the stage, but they again fight amongst themselves, and Crash escapes with the title once again. In the back, Shane asks Triple H for advice, and he says to be careful. In the back, Big Show attacks Grandmaster Sexay for shitting on his dancing earlier, and he Splashes him through a table. Show then steals the goggles, and says he has a meeting with his agent. AMAZING. Match #6: Val Venis vs. Kurt Angle THIS FUCKING RULED. Val is awesome as usual, bringing his great intensity and amazing punches. Angle takes everything well, and this is just them going back and forth for 7 minutes and Val usually getting the better of it, until he misses the Money Shot. Angle gets the Crossface Chickenwing for the submission. This did a great job putting both guys over, and Angle looks so improved in the last 3 months. *** In the back, Vince tells Shane that he has his back tonight, and Shane is now very worried. Match #7: Kane w/ Paul Bearer vs. Bull Buchanan w/ Big Bossman Oh, fuck you. This is about a minute, thankfully. It features Bull trying his springboard clothesline and hilariously slipping and falling off. Kane got a Chokeslam to win. 1/2* Post-match, Bossman kills him repeatedly with a nightstick. They handcuff him to the ropes on the floor, and Buchanan smashes Kane's hand with a chair. Before the main event, Vince comes down. Earl Hebner yells at him to stay out, and Vince threatens to fire him. Shane tries to run from Rock, and Triple H attacks from the ramp, and they beat Rock down to the ring. Match #8: The Rock vs. Shane McMahon w/ Vince McMahon, Triple H, & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley So, this was very entertaining. No great match, but 4 minutes of interference and great Rock selling, and Shane debuting his epic shuffle. Rock makes the comeback, and accidentally hits Hebner when he swings at Vince. H comes in and Pedigrees Rock, but when Earl crawls over to count, Rock kicks out. Triple H gets Earl up and yells at him. The McMahons all bail to the stage, and Triple H beats on Rock, and this is somehow not a DQ. Rock manages to catch H with the Rock Bottom, and Hebner counts 3 to give Rock the win. Why yes, The Rock won a match over Shane McMahon by pinning Triple H. Someone who was not in the match at all. I guess Russo booked this main event finish on the way out? The match WAS entertaining though. Super hot crowd. **1/4 The Rock holds up the WWF Title to end the show. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 10 2013, 12:43 AM Post #34 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown April 6th, 2000 San Jose, CA In the parking lot, Shane is on the phone with Vince, and says he's the only one here, and they agree to end this controversy about the WWF Title tonight. Wait, what? What controversy? King and Cole discuss it like somehow, Rock is the WWF Champion because to end Raw, The Rock pinned Triple H to win a match against Shane McMahon. Not only does that make all of zero fucking sense to begin with, but nobody in their right fucking mind could somehow think that makes him champion. Match #1: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Rikishi [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Really fun, but it was only 2 minutes. Can't wait until they let these two have an actual match. Benoit beats the shit out of Rikishi until the big man gets an adrenaline rush and comes back. Both men look awesome. Benoit dodges the Flying Asshole in the corner, and hits a Bridging Northern Lights to retain. I like that they're pushing the idea that Benoit can win with a number of different suplexes. **1/4 Post-match, Rikishi hits Benoit with a Samoan Drop and the Stink Face for no real reason. You lost clean, you fat fuck. In the parking lot, Vince gets out of the limo, and Shane informs him that they're the only McMahons here so far, and Vince says it's all they need. Vince and Shane come down to the ring, and get on the mic. Vince gets the city name wrong, but says it doesn't matter, because soon enough, this horrible state will snap off and fall to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The best. They show the footage from Raw, and Vince blames the referee for even counting the fall when it was Rock vs. Shane. I agree completely. Vince calls out Hebner to explain his awful call, and Earl says he did it because Rock told him to. Vince says he's soiled the good name of WWF officials and called their integrity into question with his bias, and if he ever shows bias like this again, he will knock him out and fire him, and Earl leaves. MMMM. Vince then yells at Lillian Garcia for proclaiming Rock the winner, and she comes out. He lets her sing a bit and says semi-attractive women with marginal talent are a dime a dozen, and if she messes up again, she's easily replaced. Vince is the best. He says Rock is NOT the WWF Champion and never will be again. Lastly, he calls out JR for implying that they're cowards, and Vince says HE HAS TESTICLES THE SIZE OF GRAPEFRUITS~! To prove it, tonight it's the two of them against The Rock. Vince being Vince makes McMahon time wasting segments entertaining. Match #2: The Dudley Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus Albert was awesome here. Test was not as good as he was on Monday. Kind of like the Outlaws in late 99-onward, the quality of the matches of T & A all depends on whether Test (and for the Outlaws, Billy Gunn) is feeling motivated and tries hard. If he doesn't, then it's all on Albert or Road Dogg to do the work, and it only ends up being decent, but if he does try, the match is probably awesome. It seems the WWF has just gone with the crowd response and turned the Dudleyz face, and they do pretty good at it. Bubba is a real good hot tag, although he did mistime some stuff at the end. They hit the 3D on Test to win. **1/4 Post-match, Trish checks on Test, and Bubba grabs her. D-Von tries to get the table, but Albert attacks him. Bubba lets go of Trish to fight him off, and Test pulls Trish to safety. T & A leaves, and The Hardy Boyz run down to attack the Dudz. Officials and Sarge have to come down to break it up. In the back, Angle says he has an opportunity to win more gold soon, and asks Scotty 2 Hotty to be his partner. S2H says he wouldn't diss his dogg Grandmaster like that, and Angle will have to find someone else. Angle asks if he needs a vet for his dog, and Scotty says when Grandmaster Sexay comes back, they'll win tag gold together. It was supposed to be Tazz vs. Saturn, but Saturn jumped Tazz from behind when he came down, and the two brawled to the back. Good brawl. In the parking lot, the DX Express gets here and DX walks out and into the building. Match #3: Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan vs. Head Cheese Fuck. Well, this was less awful then I thought it would be, simply by virtue of being botch-free. Still, boring as shit. Bull managed to get the cool corner clothesline right again. The Bossman Slam/Flying Legdrop combo won them the match. 3/4 Post-match, Blackman clears them both out with kicks. STEVE GODDAMN BLACKMAN. In the parking lot, Eddie Guerrero and Chyna get here via low-rider. What happened to people showing up on time? They go so far as to play "Low Rider" so we get the point. Eddie Guerrero and Chyna come out and get on the mic. Chyna says she couldn't resist his LATINO HEAT~ and Lawler's already running that into the ground. LATINO HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET. ARRIBA. WEEP WOOP. Chyna says Chris Jericho was small and could never get into her pants, which is somewhat contradictory of a statement. Chris Jericho runs down and punches at both of them and beats down Eddie until Chyna pulls him out for the save. In the back, DX comes into the McMahon office and bitches that Triple H doesn't get The Rock, and says he'll put his title up against Rock if that's what it takes. X-Pac and Dogg say they can take Vince and Shane's places tonight against Rock, and Vince says to let them have their night, and that Rock doesn't deserve a title shot, and that's final. Back from break, Stephanie talks to Vince and says Triple H means no disrespect and he just wants to avenge her. She says Pac and Dogg have paid their dues and convinces him to change it to Rock vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg for her. Match #4: Dean Malenko [c] vs. TAKA Michinoku [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] This was great for five minutes. Simple underdog story, and TAKA fucking brings it and hits all his awesome spots totally clean and Dean bumps and sells like the champ he is. So much fun here. Dean wins after the Super Gutbuster and the Cloverleaf. TAKA should have been used way more. Then again, they should have also kept Dick Togo. *** In the back, Hardcore Holly agrees to be Angle's partner because he thinks it'd be fun to beat up those girls Edge & Christian. Match #5: The Big Show vs. The Godfather w/ Hos The Big Show is dressed in pimp attire here and is The Big Pimp. This is not good. Show cracks his pimp cane over Godfather to win. 1/2* Show leaves with one of the hos. Match #6: Edge/Christian [c] vs. Kurt Angle/Hardcore Holly [WWF Tag Team Championship] This was good, but not a whole lot more. Edge was a very good face in peril here, and the Angle/Edge stuff was a lot of fun. Holly manages to (for the most part), not be awful. Christian's hot tag is improving a bit. Holly loses after a Double Superplex. **1/2 Post-match, Angle says this is not his loss but Holly's, and that if they took the o out of Big Shot and replaced it with one of his Three I's, it would be more appropriate. Holly then slapped Angle and hit the Hollycaust. Shane McMahon comes down to be guest ring announcer, and sends Earl Hebner to the back. He introduces the special ref, Triple H. Match #8: The Rock vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [Special Guest Referee: Triple H] Stephanie does commentary, and she and King spend all match shitting on Cole. As with all Rock matches, the super duper super duper duper hot crowd makes it very fun, and Rock brings his great fire and bumping. Pac seems to try for most of this, and there's a really good Rock/Dogg segment in this. Rock takes out H finally, and Rock Bottoms Dogg. The ref is down, and Hebner runs out with Vince chasing him. Vince pulls him back out to the floor and punches him out, effectively ending the part of this that could be seen as a match. **1/4 Vince runs away up the stage, but Rock catches him and attacks him. He goes to the back and gets a chair to hold of DX, and he hits Vince with the chair to end the show. |
![]() |
|
| Big Evil | Jan 10 2013, 05:45 AM Post #35 |
![]()
On TBS. Very Funny.
![]()
|
You're literally reposting your original 2000 reviews. Literally copy and paste in some cases. Why. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 10 2013, 01:57 PM Post #36 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
Not entirely true. I'm rewatching all the TV, altering the ratings and adding more description to the originals, and reviewing the PPVs from scratch. But for horrible minute long matches or Buchanan stuff and uselessly long segments, there's no reason to type them back up when I got the jist of it the first time. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 13 2013, 11:40 PM Post #37 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War April 10th, 2000 Ft. Lauderdale, FL The Rock comes down to open the show, and he shows the end of Smackdown, and says he is done waiting, and The Rock wants his WWF Title shot tonight. Vince McMahon comes out with a chair, and he sets it down. He says Rock can have an opportunity at a WWF Title match tonight, as the main event will see him fight in a steel cage against an opponent to be named later. Vince says he'll give Rock credit, he could have been a big star without Vince McMahon and the marketing machine of the WWF behind him, but instead of making him Doink, or Kamala, or Bastion Booger, he made him into The Rock, and he made The Rock into a SUPERSTAR. He says from Day One, he was handpicked to be HIS Champion, The Corporate Champion, and he HANDED The Rock his first WWF Championship, protected him, and groomed him, and never once did he receive any kind of a thank you, and that's why he chose WrestleMania to take Rock down a peg. DAT PROMO. Rock then says he wipes a monkey's ass with what Vince thinks. Triple H, Shane, and Stephanie walk out and Rock turns his back to look at them. Vince tries to use the chair, but Rock dodges, and knocks Vince to the floor with the chair. Match #1: Edge & Christian [c] vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [WWF Tag Team Championship] They neuter what could have been a very good match to do an angle with the two instead when the match is only like 3 minutes. Christian never makes the hot tag to Edge, and Road Dogg nails Christian with the title belt, and X-Pac wins to win the titles. BUT WAIT NO! Earl Hebner runs out and tells Chioda what happened, and he restarts the match. 30 seconds or less later, Edge hits a Spear on Pac to retain. Oh well. This does at least guarantee a rematch at Backlash that would be super great, and what we did get was good. ** In the back, Big Show tells Shane O'Mac that he's keeping up his entertainment tonight, and Shane hypes him up. Match #2: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty/Tazz vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn This was very very good. The Radicals have their standard great control segment full of double teams and violent offense, this time on S2H. Rikishi comes in and cleans house, and Tazz doesn't do much besides some throws at the end. All the faces do what they're best at. Chaotic finishing section could have used moar Benoit, and less aimless Tazz/Saturn brawling, but whatevs. Scotty tries to Cloverleaf on Dean, but Saturn hits a disgustingly great Northern Lariat on him, and Dean covers as Benoit and Rikishi brawl up the ramp, and gets the pin. **3/4 Terri and The Kat are at the salon together, because I guess they're friends now. LOLWOMEN? Anyways, Terri gives Kat a drink with something slipped in it as she's getting her hair done. ROOFIE PARTY! Triple H comes out with Shane and Stephanie, and JR says someone is getting a WWF Title match, but nobody knows who. How does that work? All three McMahons who are regularly at WWF shows are there? Kaientai is then shown walking in the back, and Triple H is pleased. BUT WAIT! They have the APA AS BACKUP! TAKA GETS THE SHOT! Match #3: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon vs. TAKA Michinoku w/ Sho Funaki & The Acolytes [WWF Championship] The APA chases Shane to the back as the match begins, after Shane tried to shove Hebner, and he shoved Shane back down on his ass. They then stand guard for the match. Triple H puts on a masterclass of making an undercard flyer look like a threat. He bumps big, but not too big that it's ridiculous, and cuts off TAKA just enough to emphasize both their roles, but gives him enough so TAKA looks awesome. And since TAKA actually was awesome until he left the WWF in 2001-2, he shines here. All his offense is super super crisp, and he takes several totally insane bumps. Earl Hebner and Triple H get into it again, I love that they laid the groundwork for the next week's show so far in advance (for A.E. WWF) Anyways, Shane and Vince comes back and Vince tries to negotiate with the APA before Bossman and Buchanan jump the APA. There's a great series of nearfalls at the end once TAKA comes back, and Triple H blocks a Huracanana with a Powerbomb, and he hits the Pedigree to win. So so so awesome that fucking TAKA Michinoku is in one of the better WWF Title matches of the year so far, and the best of April so far. *** In the back, Trish leads T & A to a door, and says to get revenge for Smackdown. They go in, and they beat the shit out of the Dudley Boyz. Match #4: The Hardy Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus This was quite good, and again showed what they're capable of. Was only like 2-3 minutes though, sadly. Albert killed people, and Test wasn't awful. Jeff's hot tag was great, and the only issue was Albert fucking up a bump off a Huracanrana. Albert got pinned after the Twist of Fate/Swanton Bomb combo. YEAH! **1/4 Post-match, The Dudley Boyz run in and hit the 3D on Test. They get a table in, but Trish climbs to the apron and distracts Bubba with her amazing breasts. He turns around, and Albert sends Bubba through the table with the Baldo Bomb. FUCK YEAH T & A & T & A Before his match, The Big Show comes out as THE BIG SHOWBOWSKI, and says to get on his Titanic. Val then takes the mic, and says that an iceberg did not sink the Titanic, but instead it was Show's big fat ass. He does a sad face and then attacks Val to start the match. Match #5: The Big Show vs. Val Venis This is not nearly as awesome as their fun match from fall 1999, but that was an actual match where Val got offense, and this is mostly a squash. Show gets bored and chokes out Val with the fake hairpiece he had on, and it's a DQ. *1/2 He gyrates some more and leaves. This is awesome. Match #6: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Chris Jericho [WWF European Championship] This is pretty good, and better than last week, although not quite great, as they only had 5 minutes. Eddie cheats a lot to injure the knee, and works it over well. Jericho's leg selling is generally very good, and there's a great series of false finishes. Jericho gets the Walls, but Chyna distracts the ref. Jericho dodges a belt shot that hit the ref, and then hit Eddie with the title, and hit the Lionsault. Chyna then hit Jericho with a low blow and the DDT like last week, and Eddie retains. **3/4 THE CAGE OMINOUSLY LOWERS. At the salon, Terri wakes up The Kat, and she now looks like a clown whore. Even more so than before. The Rock comes down and gets in the cage. Triple H comes out with the belt around his waist and dressed to wrestle with the three McMahons at his side. However, Vince then brings out his OPPONENTS. PLURAL! YEAH! Big Bossman and Bull Buchanan! Oh. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Match #7: The Rock vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan [Steel Cage Match - If Rock Wins, He Is #1 Contender] This was not good, but Rock tried. Rock brought his usual fire and crowd responses, but the Bossman/Bull beatdowns were boring as shit and really killed the match. For guys hyped as being experienced in cages, they used the cage like once. Anyways, Rock wins after a flash Rock Bottom on Bull. *1/2 Post-match, Triple H, Shane, and Vince come in and attack Rock. They throw him into the cage a lot, and Shane dances. Triple H bloodies Rock with brass knuckles and a chair shot to the head, and he hits the Pedigree. He says he's done playing games, and he's Rock's worst fucking nightmare. FUCK YEAH. They pull a bloody KO'd Rock up for a Pedigree on the steel chair, but The Acolytes run back down and get into the cage, and Triple H and the McMahon men climb out to safety to end the show and Rock is pretty much destroyed. At least the post-match beatdown was incredible. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 14 2013, 03:28 PM Post #38 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown April 13th, 2000 Tampa, FL Match #1: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Rikishi [WWF European Championship] This is all Eddie bumping around for the big man, but I mean, it's Eddie and Rikishi in 2000, so it's at least fun for 3 minutes. Chyna gets involved and eats the Stink Face. Rikishi then gets Eddie up for the Rikishi Driver, but Chyna low blows him for the DQ. **1/4 In the back, Triple H, Stephanie, and Shane agree that since Vince isn't here tonight, they should go out and make him proud. Triple H, Shane, and Stephanie come down to the ring, and Cole dubs it the MCMAHON-HELMSLEY FACTION. OH MY. I personally think Regime is better. Perhaps some kind of fusion? Like a Facgime? Shane gets on the mic first and and says he's proud to have Triple H as not only the WWF Champion but as his brother-in-law. Steph lets out the surprise that Vince will be in Triple H's corner for his WWF Title match vs. The Rock at Backlash. He talks for a while about how this will be the end of The Rock and how he will always beat The Rock, because he's The Game and that damn good, and The Rock comes out. Triple H then officially makes the WWF Title match for Backlash, and Rock cuts his usual piece on how Shane is a jackass and Stephanie is a bargain basement slut. The Rock then challenges George Washington to a fight, since Backlash is in Washington DC. Triple H then books Rock/Acolytes vs. H/Bossman/Buchanan tonight. WHY. Earlier today, Al Snow tricked Steve Blackman into doing stand-up comedy for the elderly in a nursing home. AMAZING. Match #2: The Hardy Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko For the first time, the winners of TTOTY for the previous year in two different companies meet. Cole wins call of the show with, "VINTAGE BENOIT WITH THE CHOKING!" Tons of really inventive spots here. Basically, The Radicals beat the shit out of Jeff in a horrifying manner, and Matt gets the hot tag. There was an amazing finishing run, and they did a bunch of insane innovative stuff to set up normal things, like Dean kicking out Matt's knees in the corner, causing him to fall in position for Jeff to hit the Poetry in Motion. Jeff hit Dean with the Swanton and Matt covered to win. Great great match for 6 minutes. ***1/4 In the back, Triple H and Shane talked to Kurt Angle and said they were wrong about him and gave him a Tag Title match tonight with Big Show as a partner. When Kurt left, they laughed about Show's outfit tonight, and Triple H says this'll show Kurt. Match #3: Crash Holly [c] vs. Perry Saturn [WWF Hardcore Championship] This was okay. Not offensive or anything, but it just kind of happened. Saturn Superkicked a tray into Crash's head to win the belt. Then Tazz came down and hit Saturn with a cookie sheet to win the title. Then Crash did the same to Tazz and left. ** Saturn and Tazz now brawl, and that is great again. The Big Show comes out as Fat Bastard from Austin Powers 2, and does a horrible Scottish impression. You can tell it was bad, because he didn't immediately try to eat, fuck, or kill everything in sight. Match #4: Edge & Christian [c] vs. Kurt Angle/The Big Show [WWF Tag Team Championship] This is an angle to set up the Angle/Show feud, so the match is secondary. Show has fun in there and dances and abuses his fat in comic form, and Angle is upset. After he gets pinballed around by the champs, he slaps Show on the apron. AW FUCK. In response, Show beats the shit out of him on the floor, and they get counted out. ** Big Show hits Angle with a Powerbomb in the ring and leaves. In the back, Chris Jericho sees Tori and Stephanie from behind and asks if they've seen The Godfather around. They turn around and he's like "OSHIT~" He says he's sorry, and Stephanie says he will be, and they storm off. SOMETHING WONDERFUL BEGINS. Match #5: Albert w/ Test & Trish Stratus vs. Bubba Ray Dudley w/ D-Von Dudley This happened again. Nothing awful here, but as you could expect, nothing interesting happened here for the 2 minutes that this went. Bubba won with a Diamond Cutter. *3/4 Post-match, Test attacked D-Von, and set up a table. D-Von got back in and nailed Test with a chair. He then put Albert on the table, and Bubba hit a Splash off the top through Albert and the table. In the back, Chris Jericho again apologizes to Tori and Stephanie, and Stephanie says it's fine, she forgives him, and wishes him luck in his match against X-Pac and Road Dogg, as it has now been changed. At the elderly home, they booed Steve's comedy. He threw down his notes, and got out his nunchucks and it cut away. So we can assume that Blackman killed all the old people. BLACKMAN IS CHRIST. Match #6: The Fabulous Moolah/Terri vs. Mae Young/The Kat NAH. NOPE. I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul. Before the next match, Chris Jericho comes out and gets on the mic. WELCOME TO TAMPA IS JERICHO. Jericho says that in actuality Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley is a FILTHY, DIRTY, DISGUSTING, BRUTAL, BOTTOMFEEDING TRASH BAG HO. FUCK. YES. Match #7: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori Jericho tries to take on both, but when Tori distracts him, Dogg hits a low blow and the X-Factor pins Jericho. Alright match for what it was and for under 2 minutes. ** In the back, Triple H and Shane McMahon yell at Earl Hebner. Shane wants to fire him, but Triple H puts him on probation and says this is his last chance, or he'll be fired. Outside the retirement home, Al Snow tells Blackman he cannot go around hitting senior citizens with nunchucks. This is kind of like the scene from T2, except with someone slightly more likeable than Edward Furlong, so it rules. In the back, The Rock asks the APA if they've been bought off by the McMahons, and they refuse to tell him anything because if they were bought off, they believe in confidentiality for their clients. That is awesome characterization. Match #8: The Rock/The Acolytes vs. Triple H/Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon This was alright, which is the ceiling for a Bull Buchanan match. The structure was fine, but jesus, Buchanan and Bossman are just an awful team with no chemistry, and they actively drag The Acolytes down to their level. Rock's hot tag and the "finishing run" were awesome though. DX comes down and they brawl to the back with The Acolytes and Bossman & Buchanan, which is somehow not a DQ. Earlier in the match, Earl was so pro-rules, that he shoved Shane off the apron and shoved Triple H down again, but now he can't call a DQ for interference. Earl is the worst fucking ref ever. Anyways, Rock and H got at it, and Shane attacks Rock, again with no DQ in front of the fucking ref. FUCK YOU EARL. H escapes up the ramp, and I guess that ends the match? ** Rock beats Shane to the floor, and hits the Rock Bottom through the announce table to end the show. He gets back in the ring and challenges Triple H to just bring it, but he leaves with the WWF Title. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 19 2013, 07:04 PM Post #39 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 3/13/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War April 17th, 2000 State College, PA Chris Jericho comes out to open the show, and JR says it's Triple H vs. Jericho tonight, and that Triple H asked for this match to defend his wife's honor. Jericho gets on the mic, and apologizes to the bargain basement sluts and brutal disgusting bottomfeeding trashbag hos of the world for comparing them to that pig Stephanie. H comes out with Shane and Stephanie and wants to kill Jericho, but Chris gets to the floor and says if he really wanted to impress Stephanie, he'd put up the WWF Title, right now. Triple H accepts. Jericho says if that's the case, allow him to introduce his insurance policy for tonight, THE ACOLYTES! FUCK YEAH! Match #1: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Shane McMahon vs. Chris Jericho w/ The Acolytes [WWF Championship] AWESOME match, and for once, one that is totally helped by all the outside shenanigans. They work a great story of H being flustered by being goaded into a title match and the APA being there. Triple H gets pockets of offense, but keeps getting sidetracked allowing Jericho to come back, and they give off a great vibe of him being better than Jericho, but only a little bit, so Jericho COULD easily win with the right combination or move. Jericho puts on the fiery babyface performance possibly of his career, and H is 2000 Triple H. The ref gets taken down, and Shane crotches Jericho on top. The APA chases Shane to the back and comes back down. Earl comes down and then Triple H and Earl shove each other again, but now H punches Earl down. Jericho knocks Triple H down and hits the Lionsault and EARL MAKES A SLIGHTLY FAST COUNT WHAT THE FUCK JERICHO WINS THE TITLE! SHIT YEAH! ***1/2 Earl runs away to the back, and Jericho celebrates to the back with the WWF Title. FUCK YEAH! It does look strange on him though. Some people were just better made to hold the Big Gold than Winged Eagle (either version), and Jericho is one of them, along with Benoit and Flair. Likewise, I think certain people looked super awkward with Big Gold, like Hogan, Savage, Bret, Angle, etc. ![]() In the back, a livid Triple H and Shane McMahon go into the ref's room and grab Chioda and Hebner and pull them out, and H yells that Earl screwed him for the last time. Triple H and Shane pull the two refs back to the ring, and H shows the footage while claiming Earl screwed him. Chioda says that it was a fast count, and he leaves. Triple H yells at Earl to reverse the decision and strike the match from the record. Earl does a ABOBO Lashley-style, "NO!" and then says he'll reverse it if as long as he's a WWF official, none of them ever attacks him again. Earl looks incredibly drunk, and is generally a pretty big asshole and should have been fired two and a half years ago. Triple H agrees to the terms, and makes Earl go get the title from Jericho in the back, and he brings it back down. Triple H makes him put it around his waist, and said the deal is good. However, Earl is then immediately fired and Pedigree'd. Good, fuck him. All the refs then run down to break it up and check on Hebner. In the back, Eddie Guerrero is studying for his G.E.D. test tomorrow, and Chyna interrupts and says he has a match now. In the parking lot, Linda McMahon arrives here, and is greeted by Patterson and Brisco. FUCK YEAH STOOGES Match #2: The Hardy Boyz vs. Eddie Guerrero/Essa Rios w/ Chyna & Lita This was fun. Essa didn't botch anything, so it was a good basically structured tag spotfest with some really cool spots. Lita accidentally Moonsaults Eddie and Matt throws her to the floor and hits Eddie with the Twist of Fate to win. **1/2 Post-match, Chyna hits Essa with a Powerbomb for losing. In the back, Shane asks Linda why she's here, and she says she has an important announcement later about The Rock, but doesn't tell Shane what it is. In the back again, Triple H and Stephanie tell Shane to give it another try since Linda likes him best. Match #3: Crash Holly [c] vs. Perry Saturn vs. Tazz [WWF Hardcore Championship] Tazz apparently won the ECW Title last week and wears it to the ring. They do alright with each other, and there's some cool spots, before Hardcore Holly runs down to join the match. He hits the Hollycaust on Saturn, but Crash throws him out and pins Saturn to retain, and quickly runs away. I'm impressed Tazz didn't eat the pin, since he came out with the ECW Title, but I guess the matter of making him look inferior again is being saved for Smackdown. ** In the back, Shane again asks Linda, and she says it's about Backlash, and she should go do it right now, and leaves. Earlier today, Kurt Angle was in a mall campaigning for abstinence with a sign around him saying "OLYMPIC HEROES FOR ABSTINENCE" on one side and "ORAL EXAMS NOT ORAL SEX" on the back. Linda McMahon is in the ring, and says she believes Backlash to be very unfair with Shane, Stephanie, and Vince McMahon all with Triple H, so she's put someone in Rock's corner to even it up. That man is STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD BAH GAWD KING STONE COLD! JR has one of his joygasms. Triple H, Stephanie, and Shane come out now. Stephanie tries to slap Linda, but Linda blocks and slaps Stephanie! Triple H then tries to Pedigree Linda, but SHANE DECKS TRIPLE H! YEAH SORTA! Linda leaves, and Stephanie has to hold back Triple H and Shane. The Rock then comes onto the stage and says before they play Ali and Frazier with the referee being that prostitute in training, The Rock wants to speak. He says he was feeling great about Backlash and his title shot, and he now feels even better. He says the world knows about the Brahma Bull and the Rattlesnake, but they can agree that Triple H is the biggest asshole walking God's green earth. He says in two weeks, The Rock guarandamntees to win the WWF Championship, IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN. In the back, Cole tries to interview DX, and Triple H says nobody beats him, not Rock, Jericho, or Austin, and books he, Pac, and Dogg vs. Jericho and the APA tonight. Match #4: The Dudley Boyz vs. Head Cheese This happened. They hit the 3D on Snow, but T & A and Trish come down. Trish distracts the ref, and Test hits Bubba with the Flying Elbow, and pulls Snow on top for the win. *1/2 Post-match, T & A get taken out, and D-Von gets a table. Bubba grabs Trish, and she kisses him to get him to let go, and quickly bails before Bubba can grab her again. Hngh. Earlier today, Kurt Angle interrupted a young couple making out and told the woman to suck on a lollipop if she needed to put something in her mouth. Match #5: Dean Malenko [c] vs. Scotty 2 Hotty [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] This was good. Much better than their first match, as Dean doesn't work a body part that S2H will just no-sell, and instead just beats the shit out of him. The crowd is very hawt for this, but unfortunately, Scotty not only wins but wins with that awful small package after just being Superplexed thing. I STILL HATE THAT. **1/2 At the mall, Kurt Angle lectures teens on abstinence, and The Big Show comes over with condom balloons and hands out free condoms to everyone. FUCK YEAH BIG SHOW Match #6: Chris Benoit [c] vs. The Big Show [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This was pretty awesome for 3 minutes, and is a great preview of what they'll do in 2002-3, once Show becomes great. Benoit bumps around for Show, while also looking very credible himself, as he doesn't just sell everything like death, but busts out insane bumps to really put over Show's strength every few times, but staying up for show's strikes to put himself over too. Show also brings the motivation, since he's in there with Benoit. Show tries the Chokeslam, but Benoit straight up punts him in the dick for the DQ. **1/2 Chris Benoit leaves, and Kurt Angle runs down to stomp Show in the dick and balls some more. Bossman and Bull Buchanan come out for a tag title match, but Kane comes down instead and has his finger in a cast, but Chokeslams both of them. Booooooo Kane is back, but fuck these guys. In the back, Cole asks Chris Jericho if he knows that the APA haven't been bought off by the McMahons or Triple H. Faarooq says they're man enough to flat out say so, and Bradshaw says he'll beat Cole's ass for free since he's being a colossal bitch. In the back, Edge and Christian are walking, and X-Pac and Road Dogg attack from behind and lay them out. Dogg then makes a challenge for the tag titles. Match #7: Chris Jericho/The Acolytes vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Shane McMahon, & Tori This was enjoyable. There was a great section of Faarooq being isolated, and Jericho's hot tag was great. He hit the Lionsault on H, but then Pac hit the X-Factor. The APA and DX brawled up the ramp, leaving Jericho and H in the ring. Edge and Christian came out to pull DX to the back, and the Acolytes walked back down, but Bossman and Buchanan attacked them from behind. In the ring, H and Jericho go at it, and H hits the Pedigree to beat Jericho clean. **1/4 Triple H, the McMahons, and Tori celebrate in the ring with the WWF Title to end the show, and thank God that Jericho's win was established as a total fluke. Because we already had enough main eventers. I mean, there's Triple H, The Rock, Big Show, and um. There's uh. Hey fuck it, they only need three main eventers. |
![]() |
|
| Big Tuna | Jan 19 2013, 07:25 PM Post #40 |
![]()
The Master and Ruler Of The World
![]()
|
WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Scotty 2 Hotty, Since 4/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown April 20th, 2000 Philadelphia, PA Match #1: Road Dogg vs. Edge Lawler announced that Edge/Christian vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg for the tag titles is official for Backlash. Yay! This is ok for 3 minutes. Dogg reverses a rollup into his own and holds the tights to win. ** In the back, Shane tells H and Stephanie to do what they have to, and he'll round everybody up for divide and conquer. STONE COLD MOMENT: Austin shoves Tyson, January 1998. Triple H & Stephanie come out to the ring, and Triple H goes over Raw in detail despite a long recap before the intro video. YOU FUCK, WE ALREADY WASTED 5 GODDAMN MINUTES ON THAT. JESUS. Triple H says if they ever have kids, he would never leave them with Linda, because she is a psychopath who beats up her daughter. Dear future political opposition to Linda, please use this clip. Triple H then says if Rock wants to get used to having someone on the outside, he books Rock in a lumberjack match against Chris Jericho, and says Shane is currently handpicking the lumberjacks. Tazz then comes out with the ECW Title and says THE MOOD IS ABOUT TA CHANGE~! I guess being back in Philly made him think he can go and do shit like this. That being said, in a shitty thing, Triple H then shows he's not scared or taking Tazz seriously at all. Remember when I said how H's facials when Cactus Jack was revealed made Jack a big deal? This is kind of the opposite. He challenges Triple H to a match of champions, and he accepts. H then says he'll prove tonight that ECW sucks. At least they made an attempt to put over Benoit as phantom WCW Champion being important before they fed him to Triple H to put over the title. Tazz is no Benoit, but come on. In the back, Chyna tells Lita that because Eddie is a in a good mood from getting his GED (FUCK YEAH!), he's giving her and Essa Rios another shot, and tells her not to screw up again. In the back, Stephanie flirts with Kurt Angle and asks him to be a lumberjack, and he accepts. Match #2: The Dudley Boyz vs. Eddie Guerrero/Essa Rios w/ Chyna & Lita This was a ton of fun. Essa and Eddie doing a bunch of high flying shit and the Dudleyz bumping around and tossing them around. Essa only botched one thing here, and hit an awesome plancha to Bubba on the floor. Lita tried one on D-Von, but he ducked and she hit Eddie! In the ring, Essa got hit with the 3D to lose. **1/2 Chyna grabbed Lita in the ring and yelled at her. Behind them, the Dudleyz set up a table, and Chyna turned and saw it. She threw Lita to them and bailed out to the back. Lita then got Superbombed through the table, and they hype that he wants to do that to Trish. In the back, Shane talks to Benoit, Dean, and Saturn and convinces them to be lumberjacks later on by saying that when Jericho and Rock are on the floor, they can beat the crap out of them, and he doesn't care if they even put them back in the ring. Before the next match, The Big Show challenges Rikishi to a dance-off, and then attacks Rikishi during his turn. Match #3: Rikishi vs. The Big Show Their matches have gotten progressively worse to the point where I feel like Show purposely went out and did some fucking hilariously awful bumps on things on purpose tonight to further devolve this rivalry. This goes to a double count-out. *1/2 Post-match, Rikishi calls Show back down and gives him a pair of dancing glasses! They get down and Angle is displeased in the back. Rikishi then returns the favor and Superkicks The Big Show mid-dance. In the back, Kurt Angle says he's been personally invited to the Gladiator premiere, although he is sad that he was not cast in the lead role, being the quintessential modern day gladiator and American Hero that he is. Angle says that unlike Big Show, he actually stands for something, and when he wins the Intercontinental Title from Benoit tonight, America will become a better place, just like it did the last time he held it. Match #4: Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Tazz This was not very good. Triple H treats it like nothing special even though champion vs. champion is a big fucking deal. Tazz gets in pockets of offense here, but H seems to just not really give a shit. This is the first outright bad Triple H as Ace performance in 2000, as he's made guys like Benoit and Rikishi by selling huge and putting them over in defeat, and he made Jericho a star last Monday. Here, he just kind of makes Tazz look bad. He hits the low blow and the Pedigree, and Tommy Dreamer runs in with a chair. He swings at H, but misses and hits Tazz. Pedigree to Dreamer, and H covers Tazz to win. Cool moment, mediocre match. This is the match you'd show if you wanted to argue that Triple H was NOT the best in the world in 2000. ** In the back, Trish tells Test & Albert not to focus on the Godfather's ladies but instead on the match. Match #5: T & A w/ Trish Stratus vs. The Godfather/D'Lo Brown w/ Hos None of these hos compare to Trish, since she's like the most beautiful woman ever in the pro wrestling. Speaking of that, Bubba Dudley shows up on the stage to watch here. D-Von comes out to try and reason with him, and gets him to come to the back again. This is alright, as they make it chaotic all the way through, and don't make Test or Godfather work a slower building match. Albert continues to be awesome. D'Lo misses a punch and accidentally hit the Godfather, and then the Baldo Bomb pins Godfather. *3/4 In the ring, D'Lo hits Godfather with the Sky High and proclaims that Godfather sucks. I agree. TIME FOR LO DOWN! Match #6: Christian vs. X-Pac w/ Tori For 4 minutes this ruled, and Pac was really trying tonight, motivated by a "FIRE X-PAC" sign in the crowd. He bumped around like crazy and got great impact on his kicks and height on his jumping stuff. Christian's brief comeback was good and had the fire that his hot tags usually lack. Road Dogg ran down, but Edge came out too and attacked him on the floor. Christian got distracted by this, and turned into the X-Factor for the win. **3/4 All four go at it, and the champions clear DX from the ring. In the back, Shane convinces the Dudley Boyz to be lumberjacks by saying they can do anything they want to Rock and Jericho, including the 3D or tables. I really like the continuity displayed here, since the Dudleyz had done work on The Rock before for the McMahons, despite them being sort of faces now. STONE COLD MOMENT: Austin and the beer truck, March 1999. Match #7: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Kurt Angle [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This was awesome for 4 minutes, but it was only four minutes. Their first match was Benoit being super aggressive and beating the shit out of Angle and Angle barely surviving with his title because of interference. This was Angle doing a bunch of awesome amateur throws adapted to a more WWF style, where he used them as quick counters to things instead of relying only on them, and Benoit used his craftiness to avoid anything big and constantly go for cradles or chops, until Angle made a mistake due to inexperience and then Benoit immediately began to fire off German Suplexes. He went up top, but Big Show came down and shoved Benoit to the floor for the DQ. Very good match, and with a surprising amount of depth that gets it this high grade for under 5 minutes. **3/4 Big Show chases Angle, but he runs to the back to avoid Show. In the back, Triple H asks Bossman and Buchanan, and they agree to be lumberjacks. Earlier today, Crash Holly was leaving the circus, and was attacked by three clowns. They began to fight amongst themselves to pin Crash, and he left. The clowns are revealed to be, you guessed it, the Mean Street Posse. It's almost unfair that they peaked with these angles with the Funland match, because they're all still good, just paling in comparison. The lumberjacks come out, and they are: D-Generation X, Shane & Stephanie, Benoit, Malenko, Saturn, Bossman, Buchanan, Angle, & The Dudley Boyz. Match #8: The Rock vs. Chris Jericho [Lumberjack Match] This was quite good for the first four minutes or so where they just had a match without interference. Then the shenanigans began and it became another lame lumberjack match. Triple H kept distracting the ref, and DX attacked Rock, and Benoit attacked Jericho. Rock hit one Rock Bottom and got pulled out, and then hit another one, but H got in and KO'd Rock with the title belt, and then Jericho covered for the win. They probably could have had Jericho go a little more even with Rock there, but it's not like he didn't do awesome in 2000 anyways, so whatever. **1/4 |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Simon Reviews... · Next Topic » |


















6:53 PM Jul 10