| Simon Rewatches WWF - 2000 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 3 2012, 10:46 PM (15,750 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jan 19 2013, 08:09 PM Post #41 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Scotty 2 Hotty, Since 4/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War April 24th, 2000 Raleigh, NC Kurt Angle comes out to open the show, and says he has set aside his quest for titles to focus on defeating The Big Show at Backlash, and while Big Show is a big ass, his opponent tonight has a big ass, and he hates big asses. It's true. Match #1: Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi JR says X-Pac isn't here tonight due to a loss in the family, so that's uh. Well, it's 2000, so that's not something to be too mad about. Angle bumps around for Rikishi, and then pulls the ref in the way of a clothesline and Angle is DQ'd. This was like 90 seconds, so whatever. *1/2 Big Show runs out and holds Angle down for the Stink Face. Angle bails out, and Show and Rikishi give respec~ fistbumps and Rikishi dances with Big Show. In the parking lot, the DX Express arrives and Triple H, Shane, and Stephanie get out and walk into the building. A video airs of Trish in her underwear discussing the kinds of tables she likes. She likes them hard. GOD. DAMN. ![]() Triple H, Shane, and Stephanie walk down to the ring. Shane says Vince will be here soon, and apologizes for the punch to Triple H last week, and says he's the best brother in law ever, and they hug. Stephanie says she is not a slut, and H talks about how fair he is, and IN THE INTEREST OF FAIRNESS~, but Chris Jericho comes out to the stage and tells Triple H to PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP. He demands a title rematch if Triple H wants to be fair, since he is the rightful WWF Champion. Triple H asks why he would reward him for saying derogatory things about his wife, and says she's very sensitive and delicate like a flower. Jericho says she lost her flower a LONG time ago, and that's how she became a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, bottomfeeding trashbag go to begin with! Shane gets pissed and makes Triple H/Shane vs. Rock/Jericho tonight, and H refuses to give him a title match. Stephanie dangles the belt over the apron, and Jericho steals it! H runs after him and Jericho hits H with the WWF Title belt! Earlier tonight, Eddie Guerrero and Chyna went tux shopping for his prom on Sunday, which they claim is standard after passing a GED. I am 99% certain this is bullshit. In the back, Jericho was walking and Benoit hit him with the IC Title from behind. He said there's another title Jericho won't ever get, and JR says that we know it's Benoit/Jericho for the IC Title on PPV. NO WE DON'T YOU FUCK, BECAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD US AND THEY AREN'T FEUDING. BUT FUCK IT, IT'LL RULE. Edge and Christian come down to do commentary, and immediately announce that they are going to interfere in this match, and they that this is what's known as a run-in. That is goddamned amazing. Match #2: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Road Dogg [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Lawler claims he has never heard of a run-in. Dogg sells all match as Benoit beats the shit out of him, until Dogg throws him to the floor. E & C says it's time for the run-in, and Tori runs down to stop Christian. This only distracts the ref, and Edge hits the Spear on Dogg, and the champions leave. Benoit then hits the Diving Headbutt to win. Good match, but the commentary and run-in talk stole the show. **1/4 Post-match, E & C hit Dogg with the Sidewalk Slam/Reverse DDT combo. Tori tries to defend him, and Christian hits her with the Reverse DDT as well. YEAH! Kurt Angle walks into the APA office, and they mock him. He says he'll pay them to protect him from Show, but remarks that maybe if they stopped smoking, drinking, and gambling, they could afford a better office. They then throw cans at him until he leaves. In the back, Angle walks by Stephanie, Bossman, and Bull pissed off, and Steph asks what's wrong. He explains what happened and asks Bossman if he dislikes Show. Bossman brags that he broke into Show's dad's funeral and stole the casket and then told Show he was a bastard. Everyone else is like, "..." and Bossman is super hyped about this. Angle then asks them to beat up Show, and Steph says it's Bossman/Bull vs. Big Show tonight. Kurt thanks her, and she smiles like a schoolgirl and says it's her pleasure. ALL DIS CONTINUITY *AND* FORESHADOWING. Match #3: The Hardy Boyz vs. The Hollys JR says that Hardcore promised Crash on the family name that he would not attack him tonight. This is boring as shit, because the Hollys are awful and they do most of the offense. Crash hits Jeff with a trash can lid, and then a Hardcore Holly dropkick gets the upset. *3/4 Post-match, the Hardyz attack Crash. Saturn and Tazz run in and it's a HxC Title match. Hardcore also runs out, and Jeff hits the Swanton on Crash. Matt covers, and Matt Hardy is the new Hardcore Champion. This leads to a fun spotfest, so whatever. Another Trish & Tables vignette airs, and she says the more you stroke a table, the better the wood is. Not even fair. ![]() Match #4: The Big Show vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan This is fucking terrible. He has them set for a Double Chokeslam, but Angle runs in and hits a low blow for the DQ. 1/2* Angle hits the Angle Slam, and it's a 3 on 1, until The Acolytes run down and run all the heels off. VINCE MCMAHON IS IN THE BUILDING! WOO. Vince McMahon comes out and gets on the mic. He goes over the chaos in his family from last Monday night, and says he's come to the conclusion that he's the only level headed McMahon, to which JR immediately responds with "AW HELL". Vince warns Triple H to NEVER touch his wife again, and takes Shane out of the tag main event tonight, because Shane has been assigned new duties. He says nobody knows Steve Austin like he does, and if The Rock thinks Austin will lead him to the promised land, he better think again. He says The Rock should think about history and they should take a troll down memory lane, because it was a year ago that Steve Austin ran over The Rock's new Lincoln and The Rock threw Steve Austin off a bridge. He says Steve Austin was run down in a parking lot in Detroit last November at the Survivor Series, and it was The Rock's rental car that ran down Steve Austin. He notes that while Rock has an alibi and it appears that someone stole his car to do the deed, The Rock has benefited more than anyone else from Austin's absence and has taken Austin's spot. He reiterates to Rock, "DTA: Don't Trust Anyone. It's Austin's motto." and plants an awesome seed of doubt. VINCE IS GOD. In the back, Eddie and Chyna settle on Prom attire, and then realize Eddie has a match in 10 minutes. On HeAT, Head Cheese split up. BOOOOOOOOO. Match #5: D'Lo Brown/Steve Blackman vs. The Godfather/Al Snow w/ Hos Al Snow putting Head in a pimp hat and glasses is the best. This was mediocre at best. Snow lost to the Sky High. *3/4 Post-match, Snow demands to dance with the girls and Godfather throws him from the ring, and Snow screams that this is the last time. STONE COLD MOMENT: The Zamboni Incident, Sept. 1998 Another Trish & Tables vignette airs, and she lies on one and says if Bubba plays his cards right, after Backlash, they can lie on a table for two. HNGH SO HARD. Match #6: Val Venis vs. Eddie Guerrero w/ Chyna This was quite fun and was a great preview of their work in the summer. It's Eddie and Val going back and forth for 4 minutes, so there's great bumping and it's intense as fuck and everything is super crisp. Essa Rios and Lita run down, and Lita hits Chyna with a big Plancha. Eddie is distracted and eats the Double V Spinebuster and the Money Shot AND VAL WINS! WHOA! **1/2 Post-match, Essa and Lita beat on Eddie in the ring until Chyna gets back in and they bail. Match #7: Edge & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz Good 4-5 minutes. T & A brings out a table where Trish is dancing in a skimpy outfit, making this even better. There's good double teaming from both teams, and a great section of D-Von being an awesome hot tag. Bubba has some awesome trash talk now, openly calling E & C faggots and queers. Bubba gets distracted by Trish being insanely hot, and the champs throw him out and Edge Spears D-Von to win. **1/2 In the back, The Rock cuts a promo saying that Austin is too much of a man to return just to screw The Rock and would say things to his face. H and Stephanie and Vince come down, and he introduces Chris Benoit as his partner, and the guest referee, Shane McMahon! Match #8: The Rock/Chris Jericho vs. Triple H/Chris Benoit w/ Vince McMahon & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley [Special Referee: Shane McMahon] This was marvelous, and SO great for only 7 minutes. Benoit/Jericho and Benoit/Rock were both awesome early on, and Jericho was great at being worked over. Triple H was solid as usual, but was outclassed a little by the others, which in 2000, only shows how awesome Jericho, Benoit, and Rocky are at this point. Everything was super super crisp, with a hot crowd, and basic tag structure done perfectly. Rock's hot tag was INSANELY hot, and he brought his usual great energy and fire to everything. The special referee thing only played into the finish with him not counting the Rock Bottom on H. Benoit then got hit with the Spine on the Pinebuster, and Vince got a low blow to Rock. Triple H then hit the Pedigree to win. ***1/2 All the heels celebrated in the ring to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 19 2013, 08:42 PM Post #42 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Matt Hardy, Since 4/24/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Scotty 2 Hotty, Since 4/17/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown April 27th, 2000 Charlotte, NC Match #1: Val Venis/Essa Rios w/ Lita vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna This was pretty fun, considering it was 6 minutes and was mostly Eddie vs. Val and Eddie vs. Essa Rios. Chyna managed to not fuck anything up,, but the structuring was weird. Eddie and Chyna isolated Essa for most of the match, but then later in the match, they tried to work the thing where Chyna gets a hot tag but the ref didn't see it, and thusly completely confusing everyone on who the heels and faces are. A minute or so later, Val hit a Spinebuster and tagged in Essa. Val held Chyna back as Essa hit a Moonsault for the win. Somehow, Cole claims that Val and Essa stole this, despite literally doing nothing wrong. **1/2 Post-match, Lita also hits a Moonsault on Eddie. In the parking lot, the DX Express arrives. STONE COLD MOMENT: Austin drives a monster truck limo into the parking lot, Royal Rumble 1999 The Rock comes down and gets on the mic. He says that after all the McMahons and H have done to him, he's still here, and will be the next WWF Champion at Backlash. He then says that since it's the last night, he assumes the Regime has some kind of horrible match to try and weaken him, and the MCMAHON-HELMSLEY REGIME~ comes out. H says he's tired of kicking Rock's ass, and they both have the night off, and they should enjoy Road Dogg vs. Christian. Vince gets on the mic, and says that to avoid a Hebner situation, he's making Shane the special guest referee. Vince again reiterates that Austin will strike down Rock at Backlash, and Rock says he's talked to Austin, and that Austin will make a special appearance on SD tonight! Vince says Austin lacks the GRAPEFRUITS to show up tonight. In the parking lot, the Regime finds the foam Austin middle fingers put on the windshield wipers and they laugh it off as a joke by Rock. Cole says he's been informed that Rock has left in a limo to the airport to pick up Austin. Match #2: Scotty 2 Hotty [c] vs. Dean Malenko [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] Dean goes with his usual strategery of beating the shit out of Scotty, who continues to not be very good at all. He does some stuff on a comeback and has some good nearfalls off cradles and rollups until Dean counters a sunset flip by grabbing the ropes in a pin to regain the title. **1/4 In the DX Express, they're all chilling and H gets a message on his pager, and it's "3:16". They laugh it off, and Vince says he doesn't think Austin's here, but he has a funny feeling about tonight. Shane and H says he's letting Rock get into his head too much. Match #3: T & A w/ Trish Stratus vs. The Hollys Hardcore continues to be really really awful, but Crash was awesome getting thrown around by the big guys here. Basically a squash, as Hardcore yells at Crash for missing a dive, and is promptly killed by Test's big boot. They then hit the Baldo Bomb/Flying Elbow combo to beat Crash. *3/4 Post-match, The Dudley Boyz run down and kill Test and Albert with chairs. They set up a table, and Bubba prepares to Superbomb Trish but she desperately licks and kisses his head and gropes him, and this is awesome. She gets down, and Test hits D-Von with the boot, and Albert throws Bubba off the top through the table. In the back, Vince/Shane and H/Steph/Tori go off in separate search parties for Austin just in case. Shane pulls back a curtain, sees a cardboard cut-out of Austin and beats the shit out of it. In the back, Angle asks Stephanie for time off on Monday to go to the Gladiator premiere, and she hurriedly says ok, and quickly leaves back to the office. Match #4: Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho/Tazz This is pretty awesome, but not as awesome as it could be, largely because it was mostly Saturn in there. Saturn's awesome and all, but Benoit is probably the best in the world at this point. Jericho's segment of isolation was very good, and all the Benoit/Jericho stuff was great. Jericho wins with the Lionsault, which Cole names here. That almost makes up for him dubbing it the Fameasser. Well, no, not really. **1/2 In the back, Shane and H find a room with beer cans on the floor, and Shane barges in, and the floor is literally covered in empty cans. Cole claims this is definite proof. Now, I know Austin drinks, but we are expected to believe he has consumed 80 or so cans in under an hour. Fuck you. Match #5: Road Dogg vs. Christian Good back and forth match for 3 minutes or so. Dogg wins with the Pumphandle Slam. **1/2 Dogg keeps beating on Christian after the match until referees pull him off, and the decision is reversed. In the back, the Regime passes a room playing the Austin theme song from Aggression, and they assume it must be him. BECAUSE REDNECKS FUCKING LOVE RAP MUSIC, RIGHT?! Goddamnit. They open the door, and it's just a boombox, and H destroys it. Match #6: Kurt Angle/Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan vs. Rikishi/The Big Show Simple enough, and enjoyable due to the booking. They attack Rikishi on the floor, and Shw is briefly triple teamed. He comes back and Rikishi gets up on the floor, and they clean house. Angle and Bossman bail up the ramp, and Bull eats the Stink Face and Chokeslam to win. Bull was actually decent here. ** Post-match, they try to dance but Angle and Bossman come back in and it's a 3 on 2, but The Acolytes run down to save and chase them off to the back. Rikishi and Big Show then dance, and I assume Show is full-on babyface now. In the bathroom, H and Shane jump a guy in a camo jacket and hat, and it's not Austin, but a backstage worker. Shane then fires him and everyone is very paranoid. In the back, Al Snow tries to reconcile with Blackman and says he can be serious. Blackman asks how anyone could take him seriously when he talks to a head, and says it's over. Match #7: Matt Hardy [c] vs. Jeff Hardy [WWF Hardcore Championship] During the course of the match, Tazz, Saturn, and Hardcore Holly came down. It's a basic hardcore brawl with trash cans and cookie sheets and shit, but it's the Hardyz, so they make it creative, but also get ladders involved for some cool shit. Eventually, the three on the floor get involved, and Crash Holly runs down. He hits Matt with a trash can and covers to regain the title. **1/2 Crash immediately sprints to the back with the title. In the parking lot, a delivery man has something for Vince, and he leads him over to see a cement truck pouring cement in a Corvette. And now the sound goes out, so I'm just gonna make shit up. Vince and Shane see JR talking on the phone in the back and yell at him. I assume it's Austin, but Vince just loves yelling at JR, so who the fuck knows. Match #8: The Godfather w/ Hos vs. Steve Blackman Especially with no crowd noise or amusing commentary, this sucked. Blackman wins with a Bicycle Kick. * In the back, the Regime talks. Presumably about Austin, but again, there's no sound. Maybe they're discussing the do's and do-not's of toaster fucking. They then notice a rattlesnake on the floor, and all leave freaked out. I looked on youtube for the ending segment. What happened was Austin showed up in the parking lot with a crane, and said he'll be on the side he's always been on - his own. He then blows up the DX Express. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 20 2013, 05:25 PM Post #43 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 1/3/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Hollu, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 ![]() WWF BACKLASH 2000 APRIL 30TH, 2000 WASHINGTON, D.C. Debra is the guest ring announcer for the first match. Match #1: Edge & Christian [c] vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [WWF Tag Team Championship] This was awesome. Great story of E & C one-upping DX in different ways. Edge cuts off Pac's usual series that goes to a heel kick by hitting one first, they cheat better than DX throughout, etc. Everyone is working real hard, and you can make a case for X-Pac as MVP of the match due to huge bumping and clearly directing traffic. After DX uses cheating a lot to take control and keep it, Edge cheats too to start their comeback, and the end has them out-cheating the scummiest heels in the company. X-Pac sneaks in an X-Factor on Edge after Tori interference, but Christian has Dogg accidentally distract the ref and he hits X-Pac with the ring bell and covers for the win. ***1/4 In the parking lot, The Rock arrives. Match #2: Dean Malenko [c] vs. Scotty 2 Hotty [WWF Light Heavyweight Championship] This is a total miracle. Scotty isn't bad at all, but this is easily his best match ever. He hits his stuff clean, and just exists while Malenko puts on his best WWF singles match. You can easily call it a Malenko carryjob, that makes sense, but it's not. Scotty holds up his end entirely, so they both deserve credit for this. Malenko has some awesome knee work, but the shocker is that SCOTTY FUCKING SELLS IT! It's not amazing, he's hardly Kawada or Steamboat when it comes to selling a leg, but it's good enough and considering the rest of his career, you give him points for trying. The knee injury holds him back, allowing Malenko to start to throw down lots of impact moves. Finish is amazing too. Scotty tries a Superplex, but he can't use his legs to spring off, and Dean hits a Super DDT for the win. ***1/4 In the back, the McMahons and Triple H are hanging out in their office/locker room. Vince gives Shane his referee shirt for tonight, and Triple H says he hears you can cut the sleeves off that. HA. Vince then turns to Patterson and Brisco and says if they're really back with them, then it's all hands on deck tonight, and they say he's got it. Match #3: The Acolytes vs. The Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan Well, this ends the streak of great matches. Pretty fucking terrible match. JR keeps talking about how he's surprised Austin isn't here yet. Lots of dull Buchanan offense, and the Acolytes work down to the level of their opponents. Lots of awkward moments and fuck ups. Bradshaw is hit with the nightstick and Buchanan then hits a Flying Scissors Kick to win. 1/2* In the back, The Hardy Boyz talk and they agree that they'll probably fight tonight, and may the best man win. In the back, Bobcore goes up to Crash Holly and says he'll enjoy beating his ass tonight. Crash says they should team up and may the best man win. Bobcore says that's stupid and slaps him upside the head. Match #4: Crash Holly [c] vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. Perry Saturn vs. Tazz vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Tag Team Championship] Fun spotfest. Not great, since there's not a ton of variety, but they try hard, there's not that much awkwardness, and they have some really cool spots on the Hardys' end. Crash trying to run away whenever he was free was awesome. They used the entrance with the swinging hooks for cool dives and spots. The middle is mostly downtime which kills it, but it picks up when the Hardys break out the ladder. Saturn hits Tazz with a stop sign, and Crash gets an arm over on accident to win. **1/2 In the back, Coach asks Shane if he can be unbiased. Shane says he appreciates the opportunity and he plans on being impartial. Hype video for Show/Kurt. The Big Show comes out to "Real American" and is THE SHOWSTER BROTHER. Match #5: The Big Show vs. Kurt Angle This is like 3 minutes, but it's so fucking entertaining. Show does all Hogan offense as JR and King shit on Hogan and it is HILARIOUS. Angle then goes for the knee and Show has an awesome flip bump off a chop block. Show then goes wild and kills Kurt with a Chokeslam. **1/4 Hype video for Dudleys/T & A. Match #6: The Dudley Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus This is decent. Slightly worse than what you'd expect, because Test is doing most of the ring work and it's unnecessarily 11 minutes long, with T & A controlling far too much. Bubba has a good hot tag at the end, but Trish distracts him with tits and short tight shorts, and he turns into the Big Boot by Test for the upset sort of. ** Test and Albert are both hit with 3Ds, and they get Trish alone. They set up a table and Trish tries a kiss to get free again, but Bubba pulls her back, and she gets hit with the Superbomb through the table. She is stretchered out, and as the ambulance leaves, Eddie Guerrero and Chyna arrive from prom. The referee says he's up now and they have to go right now, so they drive to the ring, and Eddie wrestles in tuxedo pants. Match #7: Eddie Guerrero [c] vs. Essa Rios [WWF European Championship] Chyna and Lita are both ringside, and this is Essa's best singles match yet. Eddie manages to reign in his bad tendencies and he covers for Essa's sloppiness. Solid finishing run full of dangerous Eddie bumps, and Eddie wins with a Whirlybird Neckbreaker drop thing. **3/4 Post-match, Essa dropkicks Eddie into Chyna and takes off Chyna's dress. GROSS. Eddie is turned on, because it is now common knowledge that his fatal flaw is his bad taste in women. That and painkillers and steroids. In the back, Coach interviews Triple H and Stephanie. He says the referee doesn't matter and it doesn't matter who stands on the floor, because he'll prove to the world one last time and he'll prove to The Rock that he's that damn good. Coach then turns to Vince and says he's heard rumor of a surprise, and Vince says they're all surprised that Stone Cold isn't here, and he says his sources tell him Stone Cold may have encountered travel problems and may not even make it. In the back, Cole talks to Chris Benoit. He says Jericho has no problem telling the world how good he is, but there's a reason he's the Champion and Jericho is the challenger. He says Jericho calls him a robot, but the difference is that he has emotions, and it means he's going to enjoy what he does to him tonight, and he's the happiest man alive. Match #8: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Hey, what's up obvious MOTN so far? This is again the best US generational rivalry that never was (since they never had a World Title match, you can't rightly call it a true generational feud like Bret/Shawn, Rock/H, AJ/Daniels), and the matches always deliver, especially since Jericho is now also a great babyface. Gritty matwork, crisp offense, lots of violence, etc. Some really great and inventive stuff too, even 13 years later. Benoit starts the Benoit Concussion Game by missing a Tope Suicida and just sort of face-planting on the floor. Awesome finishing run, doing a lot without blowing through anything. Jericho holds up the title belt to block the Diving Headbutt and the ref calls a DQ. ***1/2 Jericho is mad at being caught, and puts the referee in the Walls of Jericho. Hype video for H/Rock. In the back, Cole interviews The Rock. He says Stone Cold could be here, he could not be here, he could be in Texas, he could be 2 minutes away, but what he can count on, what the people can count on, is that The Rock guaran-damn-tees it, he's made the promise of the promise to the people, that The Rock is walking out WWF Champion. He says it doesn't matter how many he has to go through, because The Rock is making history, and The Rock is making history NOW. IF YOU SMELALALALALALLALALALAU WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN. The McMahon-Helmsley FacGime comes out en mass for the main event, and Vince says the card is subject to change, and Steve Austin is NOT here tonight! Match #9: Triple H [c] w/ Vince McMahon & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. The Rock [WWF Championship - Special Referee: Shane McMahon] This is the best interference filled Michael Bay does wrestling Attitude Era Crash TV big WWF title match ever, probably. It's not flawless and it's not their best (that'll come next month) as they're clearly killing time before the second half, but it's the perfect popcorn wrestling match. Still good time killing though, since they have perfect chemistry. Picks up a lot once Triple H takes over and everyone starts to cheat, and the finishing run is an all time great booking triumph. I loved that they didn't start off immediately trying to fuck The Rock over, but that the interference gradually gets more and more obvious and in the second half, Vince is hitting Rock with the belt, Shane is trying to help Triple H up, and he's counting super fast too. This match has enough magic around it THAT TRIPLE H'S CORNER BUMP IS SHOT FROM THE RIGHT ANGLE SO AS TO MAKE IT ACTUALLY LOOK GOOD! HOOOOOOOOLY SHIT! There's a rough patch near the start of the finishing run where Triple H fucks up his arm, but they get over it when Rock hits a Rock Bottom on H AND SHANE THROUGH THE SPANISH TABLE! Vince distracts Rock in the ring long enough for Triple H to hit the Pedigree, AND THE STOOGES BOTH RUN OUT IN REFEREE SHIRTS! BUT ROCK KICKS OUT! They stomp on him and Vince hits him with a chair. Triple H is pulling Rock up for the Pedigree, BUT BAH GAWD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD. DAT POP. AUSTIN KILLS EVERYONE WITH A CHAIR AND LEAVES. LINDA COMES OUT WITH EARL HEBNER, AND LINDA SHOVES STEPHANIE DOWN! YEAH! PINEBUSTER AND PEOPLE'S ELBOW, AND EARL COUNTS THE PIN FOR THE WIN! FUCK YEAH! ***3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 20 2013, 05:38 PM Post #44 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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Top 10 Matches - April 2000: 1. The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. Edge & Christian, WrestleMania 2000 (April 2nd) 2. Triple H [c] vs. The Rock, Backlash (April 30th) 3. The Rock/Chris Jericho vs. Triple H/Chris Benoit, Raw (April 24th) 4. Triple H [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Raw (April 17th) 5. Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Backlash (April 30th) 6. The Hardy Boyz vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko, Smackdown (April 13th) 7. Edge & Christian [c] vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg, Backlash (April 30th) 8. Dean Malenko [c] vs. Scotty 2 Hotty, Backlash (April 30th) 9. Triple H [c] vs. TAKA Michinoku, Raw (April 10th) 10. Triple H [c] vs. The Rock vs. The Big Show vs. Mick Foley, WrestleMania 2000 (April 2nd) Wrestler of the Month: Chris Benoit (26 Points) Tag Team of the Month: X-Pac & Road Dogg (14 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2013, 07:38 PM Post #45 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War May 1st, 2000 Baltimore, MD Edge & Christian come down to do commentary. They have stopped coming from the crowd for good now, after going back and forth since Mania. Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. T & A E&C say they'll probably do another run-in, because it felt so good last week, and say they have an open challenge later on to any team they have not beaten yet. This is better than Backlash at least, and D-Von's hot tag was fun. E & C then do a run in as promised, and Christian hits the Unprettier on D-Von and pulls Albert on top to win. **1/4 The McMahon-Helmsley Regime comes down to the ring, and Triple H has his arm in a sling after fucking it up at Backlash. Triple H says he hopes The Rock is happy with how he stole the WWF Title from him last night, and asks Rock if he's really happy with how he won the WWF Title, because he didn't truly BEAT him for it, Stone Cold Steve Austin handed it to him, and it's only a matter of time before he gets it back. Vince gets on the mic and cuts an awesome promo saying if Linda shows up here, he'll do what he's always threatened to do in private and what Triple H almost did a few weeks ago (HOLY SHIT WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE MADE CAMPAIGN ADS?), and will deal with Hebner later, since he's reinstated because of his wife. Also, when The Rock shows up, history will be made inside the steel cage above the ring. In the parking lot, the parking attendant tries to win the Hardcore Title from Crash, but he gets away with the title. Match #2: The Hardy Boyz vs. Too Cool This was pretty fun, aside from some sloppiness on Too Cool's end. I do not understand why they are more over than the Hardy Boyz. But they are. Jeff actually gets booed here for his offense on them. They have some cool spots and stuff, but it's a total movefest for 5 minutes. Sexay shoved Matt off the Twist of Fate, and he knocks Jeff to the floor, and Sexay Superkicks Matt for the upset. **1/4 In the back, Vince tells Patterson & Brisco to fetch him Earl Hebner. Back from break, the Stooges bring Hebner into Vince's office. He tells them to stay on the other side of the door to make sure nobody comes in or out. Vince begins his epic lecture with, "So....YOU SNIVELING LITTLE SHIT!" OH MY GOD YES! Vince dresses him down in epic fashion and tells him repeatedly to stay out of his business, and asks Earl if he knows the kind of people that he knows, and says he could make Earl disappear off the face of this earth at a snap of his fingers. Vince is the best. Match #3: The Kat/Jackie vs. Terri/Ivory OH FUCK YOU. NOPE. NOT AGAIN. I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul. In the back, Vince tells X-Pac and Road Dogg that they'll get their tag title shot later, but tonight is about family, and he has a special assignment for Road Dogg later, but right now, he wants X-Pac to defend his daughter's honor and go beat up Jericho. Match #4: Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac w/ Road Dogg & Tori They have their usual really fun back and forth match where both men take big bumps and have a bunch of great sequences for 3 minutes. Jericho hits the Lionsault, but Tori gets on the apron. Jericho pushes her to the floor, and then X-PAc hits a heel kick. He chokes Jericho and Earl pulls him back. X-Pac shoves Earl, and then Earl shoves him on his ass, and calls for the DQ. Fuck you, Earl. Seriously. You are a huge bag of asshole juice. **1/2 Jericho puts Z-Pac in the Walls of Jeicho before Road Dogg attacks. Earl then shoves Road Dogg harder than Dogg shoved him, Earl has to be held back by other referees. Earl, you are a terrible terrible horribly biased official. NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW WWF Champion The Rock comes down to the ring, and cuts an awesome promo about how he delivered on his word last night. He says in response to a surprise for tonight, saying it for the first time, JUST. BRING. IT. In response, the McMahon-Helmsley FacGime comes out onto the stage. Vince says WWF history will be made tonight, as Rock has one of the shortest reigns ever, because in a steel cage, he will defend against...SHANE MCMAHON! Wat. Shane is shocked, and Triple H is upset and asks Vince just what the hell he's doing to him. Vince says that he knows what he's doing, and the match can be won by escape as well. In the back, riple H and Shane talk. Shane says he's psyched, but Triple H says that belt is HIS. Shane asks if it really matters, so long as it's in the family, and Triple H says it matters to him. Edge & Christian come out, and say that since they won the titles, the crowd entrance has become too hectic due to a. However, to make it up to them, for the next 5 seconds they will pose FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WITH FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY! FUCK YEAH! FINALLY! JR says they're a lot like Kurt Angle in their new arrogance. DAT FORESHADOWING! The open challenge is accepted by... Rikishi and Match #5: Edge & Christian [c] vs. The Big Show/Rikishi [WWF Tag Team Championship] The champs get thrown around, and it's a lot of fun for 3 minutes or whatever. Show has Christian set for the Chokeslam, but Edge hits him with the ring bell for the DQ to retain. ** Post-match, both men eat Superkicks, but roll out of the way of Stereo Bonzai Drops. X-Pac and Road Dogg then come down and roll the champions back in the ring, and E & C both eat Stink Faces. Rikishi and Showkishi then dance. A creepy video airs of little girls in a boiler room singing "Ring Around The Rosey", and then it says JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING. In the back, H tells Stephanie that he doesn't get why Vince did this, and she says she doesn't either. Match #6: Eddie Guerrero [c] vs. Essa Rios [WWF European Championship] Chyna and Lita are both at ringside. Lita is wearing the prom dress that she ripped off Chyna at Backlash. Looks way way way better on her. Probably because she's actually a woman. Essa does this insane looking flying headscissors from an Old School position, but other than that, this is mostly Eddie offense. Which is fine, but I wish this was longer than the 2 minutes it went. Eddie wins with the Whirlybird Neckbreaker. **1/4 Post-match, Chyna strips Lita of the dress, and Lita looks way better hardly wearing anything. In the back, Tori throws hot coffee on Earl Hebner's shirt, and says accidents happen. Match #7: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Tazz [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This is like 2 minutes, but it is great still. Fuck the WWF sometimes. They beat the shit out of each other and it RUUUUULES. Saturn coems down, and Tazz is distracted, and Benoit wins with a Perfect Plex. I like how in 2000, a finisher wasn't always the finish. Worked well to establish the versatility of the roster as well as that anything could happen. **1/4 Tazz attacks Saturn on the floor. Hardcore Holly comes in, and hits Benoit with the Hollycaust, and signals for the title. OH MOTHERFUCKER. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS HORRIBLE MAY 2000 BOB HOLLY IC TITLE PUSH. In the referee basement where they change on account of fuck the referees, Triple H comes in and glares at Earl and leaves. Just fire him again, goddamnit. In the back, Crash Holly admits in a promo that the pressure is killing him, and Steve Blackman attacks him from behind and has ref. They fight down to the ring, but Crash bails through the crowd. The Baltimore Ravens in the front row try to win the title, but Crash escapes through the crowd. Ray Lewis was THIS close to being Hardcore Champion. All the McMahons and Triple H come down for the main event, as well as Patterson and Brisco in referee shirts. Patterson is the ereein the cage, and Brisco is the one on the floor. "Patterson's always bringing up the rear." - JR. FUCK YES. Match #8: The Rock [c] vs. Shane McMahon w/ Vince McMahon, Triple H, & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley [WWF Championship - Steel Cage Match] I'm glad they got the monthly cage match out of the way immediately as May began. This is actually quite fun, in terms of a fun McMahon bullshit parade of booking shortcuts. Patterson was Rock Bottomed, and Triple H got in, and then fucking Earl ran down and pushed Brisco into the cage and slammed the cage door on Triple H's bad shoulder. EARL, THAT'S BIASED REFEREEING. ALSO, DO YOU WANT TO DIE? Rock then climbs out to win. **1/4 Rock and Hebner celebrate up the ramp. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2013, 08:06 PM Post #46 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 4/2/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown May 4th, 2000 Richmond, VA Fucking Earl Hebner again gets his own fucking ring introduction to open the show, and the whole intro from Cole is about the consequences for him. Match #1: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Intercontinental Championship] So, this was AWESOME. They got 7 minutes to beat the shit out of each other, and they did it very well with a lot of awesome counters, including a really inventive and super ahead of its time counter to the Lionsault with a German Suplex off the middle rope. Anyways, yeah, lots of violence. Benoit hits a clothesline that's basically just a running punch to the head. Hebner is such a terrible ref here, refusing to let Benoit leave the ring when Jericho is on the floor and not letting Benoit climb up top. Benoit gets pissed and shoves him, and Earl misses Jericho using the belt on Benoit when Benoit had done nothing wrong. Jericho then hits the Lionsault, and Hebner counts the 3 from all the way across the fucking ring. We have a new champion, and the worst referee of all time. YAY CHEATING. At least when Triple H and Earl had their thing in April, Triple H was just being a dick instead of responding to a horrible ref. *** In the parking lot, the McMahon-Helmsley Facgime arrives. Coming back from break, the Regime is standing on the stage the stage. Vince McMahon has an awesome line about how Richmond used to be famous for actual important things like Civil War leaders instead of being home to Earl Hebner and how they should all boo that man not only for being a horrible referee but for being a discredit to their city, and then books Earl Hebner/The Rock vs. DX tonight, and if Rock or Earl loses the fall, THEN THE ROCK LOSES THE WWF TITLE! Earlier tonight, Edge and Christian got a spa treatment on their face to get clean after Stink Faces on Raw. Weird that they waited 3 days. They say they'll make Rikishi pay tonight in a Handicap Match for costing them the cover of Tiger Beat. Awesome. Match #2: Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Essa Rios/Lita Essa basically has to drag Lita down to his level, which is a rare thing to say in an intergender tag. This is mostly Eddie and Chyna doing stuff to Essa until Lita gets in and Chyna kills her to win. Hopefully the end of this feud and the end of Essa Rios. Pls? *3/4 Before the next match, Kurt Angle gets on the mic on Virginia for being full of inbred retarded people and says he dislikes Hardcore Holly because "hardcore" references hardcore pornography. It's true. Match #3: Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly This is generally fun, as Angle throws around Holly and bumps in return and Holly doesn't do anything awful. Angle then fakes a knee injury and gets a Bridging German to win. Again with the unexpected finishes! **1/4 Post-match, Hardcore attacks Kurt and hits the Hollycaust on a chair. Match #4: Edge & Christian vs. Rikishi This is pretty fun for 2 minutes. E & C bump around big for Rikishi, and then take over. It goes to the floor, where Rikishi manages to dodge some attacks, and he lays them out with Superkicks, before sliding back in at 10 to win via countout. ** Post-match, Edge and Christian beat him up more. They get the ring bell in, but Too Cool runs down to save. The champions bail out, and Too Cool & Rikishi dance. Really awesome booking to set up E&C vs. Too Cool here over the last two shows. Just low key logical work. In the back, Stephanie & Tori bump into The Dudley Boyz. Stephanie talks them down for being pathetic and having to attack women to make themselves feel better. They walk off, and D-Von tells Bubba not to do it, because the reprocussions would be awful. Bubba then smiles. OH SHIT. Match #5: The Hardy Boyz vs. T & A As their other matches have been, this was a really fun battle of power vs. speed, with the Albert/Jeff stuff being especially brutal and awesome. The finishing run could have been better though, which is shocking, as usually a Hardy Boyz finishing run is the best part, but here the other stuff was so good in comparison that it wasn't. Jeff hits a Swanton Bomb on Test as he tried to cover Matt, and Matt rolled on top to win. **3/4 Post-match, T & A beats up Matt and hits the Baldo Bomb/Flying Elbow combination and they leave. The Big Show comes down as SHONAN THE BARBARIAN! OH MY GOD AWESOME! He's supposed to fight Bull Buchanan, but Bull attacks him before the bell with a baton. This angers Show and he hits two Chokeslams in a row and leaves. In the back, Vince McMahon wishes Earl Hebner good luck tonight. In the back, Crash Holly sees a moonbounce, and Dean Malenko attacks him, and a match is on. Match #6: Crash Holly [c] vs. Dean Malenko [WWF Hardcore Championship] They fight in the moonbounce and it fucking rules. They get back down to the ring and do cool stuff, but Perry Saturn runs down now, and both Radicalz try and win the title, which results in Crash rolling up Dean to retain. *1/2 Post-match, Saturn and Malenko argue and then they come to blows. LOOK WHAT YOU DID, CRASH HOLLY. THIS HAS SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES, YOU SON OF A BITCH. In the back, Big Show asks Shane O'Mac what he thinks of his new thing, and Shane says he's upset that he gave Show a shot to make himself a star at WrestleMania, and not only did Show go out first and embarrass him, but now he's wasting time doing comedy instead of being a mnster. Shane calls him a pathetic unmotivated slob and that he's entertaining nobody and that nobody cares about him now. Shane leaves, and Show looks like he wants to cry. They made me feel bad for Big Show. 2000 really is incredible. Match #7: The Rock [c]/Earl Hebner vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ The McMahon-Helmsley Regime [WWF Championship] Triple H still has his arm in a sling. This was okay. Rock vs. DX in handicap matches is tired by now, but it's reliably solid. They took Rock out and tried to bully Hebner, but Rock got back in and cleaned shit up. Chris Jericho ran down to attack Triple H, and then Jericho and Vince brawled, and X-Pac ate the Rock Bottom and Rock won. ** Post-match, Triple H hits Rock with the title belt and hits the Pedigree. They then all beat the shit out of Earl in his hometown, and Vince gets in too, and I guess Jericho just got bored and left. Kind of a dick move after Earl spoonfed him the IC Title. Rikishi tries the save but is taken down, and then Big Show comes down and attacks everyone, including Shane. YEAH BIG SHOW! Rock then gets back in, CHAOS BAH GAWD KING. Triple H low blows Show, and The Dudley Boyz run down and put a table up in the ring and clean house. Jericho gets back down and Rikishi throws the stooges in, and Brisco eats a Superbomb through the table. Hebner is then stretchered out to end the show. AND STAY GONE. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 3 2013, 02:20 AM Post #47 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 5/4/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 ![]() WWF INSURREXTION 2000 MAY 6TH, 2000 LONDON, ENGLAND Match #1: Too Cool vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn This got 7 minutes, so it should have been fun, but wasn't. As usual for WWE/F in the UK, there's a really hot crowd. Nothing super special though, as Sexay seems tentative after coming off a knee injury. Saturn is taking it a little easy though, and Malenko and Scotty are the two who are trying. Saturn and Malenko miscommunicate again and Sexay beats Saturn after the Hip Hop Drop. **1/4 Malenko and Saturn argue again post-match, AND THEY FIGHT! Referees come out to separate them. Radicalz ![]() In the back, Mae prepares The Kat. UGH. Vince McMahon comes out on the stage with the mic and says most feel he should be disappointed with the new WWF Champion, and he is, because if there was a fair match at Backlash, The Rock would not be the WWF Champion. He says a genius always has a plan though, and lists Napoleon and George Washington on his level of genius to try and get heat. He says The Rock was hoping to make it here as WWF Champion, so that if he lost in London, nobody would know about it, since nothing of consequence ever happens here anymore. AMAZING. He says the world WILL find out though, because tonight there is no Linda, Hebner, or Steve Austin to save The Rock, and a McMahon family member will win the title. Match #2: Kane vs. Bull Buchanan w/ The Big Bossman Terrible, but only 2 minutes, thankfully. Kane wins with a Chokeslam. 1/2* In the back, Triple H and Stephanie talk and Triple H says he's glad Vince put him over on the mic as a "McMahon family member". Stephanie says at least she thinks he meant him. Triple H asks what that means. INTRIGUE. SORT OF. Match #3: Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg w/ Tori Acceptable match. Nothing amazing, but both men are good enough to put together a nice little 5 minute match. Lots of great violent Bradshaw strikes, series of nasty punches to the ribs and kidneys, etc. Road Dogg gets a poke to the eyes and the Pumphandle Drop for the win. **1/4 They bring out The Kat and Terri for the arm wrestling contest. Whatever. The Kat wins. In the back, Match #4: The Dudley Boyz vs. Rikishi/Showkishi Fun face/face match with good Show comedy mixed in. The Dudleys try to overcome size and power with teamwork. They also showed off some awesome bumping. Edge and Christian came out at the end, and Christian distracted the referee. Edge snuck in and hit Bubba with the Spear. Show then Chokeslammed Bubba for the win. **1/2 Too Cool came out to run off E & C post-match, and Too Cool, Rikishi, Showkishi, and The Dudley Boyz all danced. Video airs of Kurt Angle going around London, as an American Hero. On his way to the ring, Kurt Angle says British children are pale, weak, unhealthy, and uneducated. He says they have incredibly poor English, and they need to learn the universal language, AMERICAN! IT'S TRUE! He says just like before, the good old US of A has come to save England, just like when they saved them from the Germans twice. He says he can teach them all the three I's - intensity, integrity, and intelligence. Crash Holly comes out to do commentary and says he wants to fight an Englishman. Match #5: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle Just when I thought I'd seen all the great WWF/E Benoit matches, this happens. This is shamefully only 6 minutes, but it is great. Benoit has a swelled up eye area from the belt shot from Chris Jericho. The reason this is great for the short time given is because Benoit, being the G.O.A.T., manages to incorporate it into the match, having Angle attack always from the side with the swelled up eye, so he can't see it coming as fast. Angle works on the face, and it means Benoit can work face and have fiery comebacks and sell a lot. Still gets cut off before it can get to ***, after Benoit misses a Diving Headbutt and falls into the Angle Slam for the end. Sort of a prototype for their last match in February 2003 in a way. **3/4 In the back, Cole talks to Shane McMahon and says his last name is McMahon, so of course his dad was favoring him. The British Bulldog comes out to accept Crash's challenge. HORRIBLE. Match #6: Crash Holly [c] vs. The British Bulldog [WWF Hardcore Championship] This is horrible for the 3 minutes it goes. Bulldog wins the belt with the Running Powerslam. Dog Shit Clips air from earlier today. Edge and Christian make a child pay for an autograph and then agree to take a picture with a guy, but block him out of the picture when it is taken. So fucking great. Match #7: Edge & Christian [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz [WWF Tag Team Championship] So disappointing. This gets 12 minutes, so it obviously delivers, but not as much as you'd want. Not on the level of their US work because they obviously care more there, but it's still a low level great match. Takes a bit to get going, but they do their usual array of inventive counters and spots. Jeff is a good FIP and Matt's hot tag is awesome. Good finishing run, and Edge uses the ring bell on both Hardys for the blatant DQ to save the belts. **3/4 The Dudley Boyz run out to save, and Christian eats a 3D. They set up a table, and Edge is put through with the Superbomb. Match #8: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Chris Jericho [WWF European Championship] THIS IS ALSO DISAPPOINTING. GODDAMNIT. Still a lower key kind of match, but these two know each other super well and do some fun matwork before kicking the match up a level. Sort of slow and sloppy at the end though, so it fell apart due to that and combined interference bullshit. Eddie hits Jericho with the belt to win. **3/4 Match #9: The Rock [c] vs. Triple H vs. Shane McMahon [WWF Championship] This happened. At least it was only 14 minutes, but not really anything special. Tons of bullshit to cover for Triple H's hurt arm. Earl Hebner comes out after the original ref is knocked out, and yeah. Stuff happens, nearfalls are had. Rock beats Shane with the Rock Bottom and People's Elbow. **1/2 Really disappointing show given how solid the UK PPVs got in 2001. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 7 2013, 03:17 PM Post #48 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 5/4/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: The British Bulldog, Since 5/6/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War May 8th, 2000 Long Island, NY[/b] Edge & Christian come out with the APA, and say they have another open challenge tonight and have protection and The Acolytes are totally going to kick someone's asses. Edge says he knows Long Island is not the prettiest place in the world, so to appease them, FOR THE BENEFIT OF THOSE WITH FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, A 6 SECOND POSE! They then tell the APA to stay sober to watch their backs, and Bradshaw says they ain't sober right now. Faarooq then says they'll give the champs a full refund so there's NO REMORSE (MOTHERFUCKER! BUY THE SHIRT!) when they kick their asses, and the APA accepts the challenge. Match #1: Edge & Christian [c] vs. The Acolytes [WWF Tag Team Championship] The APA kills the champions for 3 minutes or so and it's a ton of fun, because the APA killing people is awesome. Nothing great, but whatever. Christian brings the ring bell in, but Bradshaw takes it and hits both Edge and Christian for the DQ. ** Bossman and Bull Buchanan now run down and lay out the APA as the champions bail. The McMahon-Helmsley Regime comes out as a whole, and Triple H shows footage of Earl getting massacred on SD and cuts a promo on a referee. For five minutes. He cuts a promo on a referee for five minutes. Triple H vs. Earl at Judgment Day is gonna rule! I mean, I guess that's what they're building to, clearly. After 5 minutes, Triple H FINALLY gets to The Rock and challenges him to a match on PPV with only the two of them in the ring to find out who's the best, and a match that he can't fluke his way to winning. A 60 MINUTE IRONMAN MATCH! JR says "wat," like this is an insanely stupid idea. Triple H says it requires more than one or two cool moves and the WWF hype machine behind you to last 60 minutes, like he would fucking know, since he and The Rock have both had their longest match against each other at this point, with the 30 minute draw from Fully Loaded 1998. ANYWAYS, Vince tries to talk now, but Chris Jericho comes out! He calls Shane a bitch, Stephanie a slut, and flat out says that Vince has a small penis. AND JR YELLS "A SMALL PENIS!" AMAZING! Jericho says he has some friends who feel the same way, and Rikishi, Show, and The Dudley Boyz then come out for backup. Vince books Jericho vs. Angle for the IC Title, and GUARANTEES Jericho will lose the IC Title tonight. Also, Shane says he and Big Show will settle their issue tonight. Vince then books Dudleyz vs. Brisco in a tables match and Rikishi vs. Patterson. Well, uh. Okay? He says there's a fine line between genius and insanity, and tonight will reaffirm his genius. Before the next match, Kurt Angle says he is honored that the Regime picked Your Olympic Hero take take the title from Y2J tonight. He says on a personal note, he is privileged to defend the honor of Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley. He says she possesses something that nobody from Long Island possesses, and that is class. It's true, it's true. He says when Jericho insults her, he insults everything that is good and pure about society today, and that is true. Match #2: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Kurt Angle [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This was pretty fun. Not much real story or anything, but they did a lot of fun back and forth and tried out some new stuff like Jericho getting out of the Angle Slam behind Kurt and Angle debuting the super Belly to Belly. Jericho got on the Walls of Jericho, and Angle tapped out. **3/4 In the back, Show barges in and grabs Shane around the throat. KILL SHOW KILL.. Shane pleads and says he doesn't want to fight Show, but he wanted to motivate him to be a monster again, and it worked. He then gives Show an IC Title shot tonight, and says not just because Chris Jericho is still champion, but because he wants the Shane and Show connection back. Show says that's good and says he'll go get dressed. Idiot. Before the next match, The Godfather says he'd give up all the hos to get Chyna in his employ. You are a very stupid pimp. Match #3: Eddie Guerrero vs. The Godfather All the women are on the floor. As is Chyna. Eddie bumps around for a few minutes. Chyna distracts the ref, and D'Lo runs in to his his ex-partner with the Sky High and leaves. Eddie hits a Missile Dropkick to win. *1/2 Before the tables match, Brisco introduces his partners, T & A. So this is still a thing, I guess. Match #4: The Dudley Boyz vs. T & A/Gerald Brisco [Table Match] This was alright. The highlight is Gerald HURLING D-Von across the ring with a Butterfly Suplex like he's in his fucking 20s. YASSIR MR. MAC MAHON. FUCK YEAH GERALD. Other than that though, it's not much. You know the drill. Dudz/T&A isn't a match you want to see more than once, let alone 3-4 times in a month. Test eats a 3D through the table to lose. *3/4 They try to get Brisco now, but X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Tori run out. D-Von eats the Pumphandle Drop from Road Dogg. Bubba grabs Tori, but is low blowed and gets an X-Factor. They set up a table and put Bubba on it, and Gerald hits a Splash off the top rope to send him through the table. Gerald Brisco then poses as "Real American" plays. FUCK YEAH GERALD GODDAMN BRISCO. Another creepy vignette of little girls playing in a boiler room. JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING. MMM Match #5: Chris Jericho [c] vs. The Big Show w/ Shane McMahon [WWF Intercontinental Championship] They have a really fun power vs. speed match for 3 minutes or so, and then for some reason footage airs of after Show left Shane's office, and Shane says he has Show wrapped around his finger and owns him. Show is pissed and Shane runs up the ramp to the back. Show follows and jogs after him and Jericho retains via countout. So why did they show that clip? Any actual reason? Is it GTV again? **1/4 In the back, Shane dries the limousine out of the arena himself as Show chases him. In the back, Stephanie is upset that Chris Jericho is still champion, and Vince says they'll see how Jericho does in his defense against Chris Benoit later, and they hug. Apparently, Kid Rock is coming to Raw. Fuck. Everything. Match #6: Too Cool vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan Oh goddamnit. This was not good. The crowd was super into it, but Bossman has totally given up trying or being a good wrestler anymore. That is very very sad, and means that it's up for fucking Brian Lawler to carry it. He obviously failed. Sexay was decent as the face in peril, but that's it here. He hit the Hip Hop Drop on Bossman for the "upset". *1/2 Team Prison Rape attacks post-match, until the APA ran down for the save and they chase them away. Too Cool then dances. In the back, Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn argue and Benoit tries to play peacemaker and calms them down. For now. What? Eddie Guerrero comes in and asks they they're fighting, and is clearly not paying attention to his friends at all. He then says Dean is sexually frustrated, Saturn is angry because he can't get a title shot, and they just need to get some. They leave, and Benoit's like "goddamnit Eddie." He leaves too, shaking his head, and Eddie says he'll ask mamacita, because she knows best. Awesome segment. Match #7: The Hardy Boyz vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn So, this ruled for the 4 minutes it got. OBVIOUSLY. They had a normal formula tag with a lot of great innovative shit and counters to things and a great finishing run, etc. It's a Radicalz/Hardy Boyz match, right? The Hardy Boyz are fucking awesome. Jeff is awesome at getting destroyed. This also featured both the Railrunner and the MOTHERFUCKING EVENT OMEGA! Saturn misses a Superkick that hits Dean, and Jeff hits the Swanton Bomb to pin Dean. **3/4 Post-match, Dean and Saturn argue and come to blows. Eddie Guerrero and Chyna come out to try and make peace, but Dean and Saturn lay them both out, and then resume punching each other in the face. This rules. Before Rikishi/Pat, Vince introduces his partners as X-Pac & Road Dogg. Match #8: Rikishi vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg/Pat Patterson w/ Tori "That's a lot more ass than Patterson regularly handles." - JR, on the fucking roll of his life tonight. Rikishi mostly throws everyone aroundfor 90 seconds and he gets the Stink Face on Patterson, but Pat hits him with a chair later for the DQ. *1/2 Post-match, Patterson pulls down his pants and GOOD CHRIST HIS UNDERWEAR HAS A SKID MARK AND HE DOES THE STINK FACE TO RIKISHI! JR TOPS HIMSELF FOR A SECOND TIME TONIGHT AND YELLS "THAT'S GOTTA SMELL LIKE MOLDY FRUIT!". Too Cool comes out and runs DX and Patterson from the ring. In the parking lot, Shane McMahon drives back in and asks if Show is gone. He is told yes by the security guy and walks back into the building. Triple H comes down in a ref outfit and announces himself as a special enforcer referee on the floor for the main event. Match #9: Chris Jericho [c] vs. Chris Benoit [WWF Intercontinental Championship - Special Enforcer: Triple H] They got seven minutes against each other, so this ruled. Obviously. They beat the shit out of each other, great intensity, great crowd reaction, awesome counters and exchanges, good basic structure. It's fucking Benoit and Jericho. Triple H the enforcer didn't get involved at all until he punched out the ref when he and Benoit got in a shoving contest, to prevent another screwjob like last week. Jericho ends up getting the Walls of Jericho on, but Stephanie comes down and she and Triple H chat as Benoit taps. Jericho goes and hits Triple H, but he punches Jericho back into the Crossface, and Triple H immediately calls for the bell, and the world is right again. *** Benoit leaves with the title, and the Regime comes down. Everyone beats up Jericho and eats the X-Factor and then the Pedigree. X-Pac and Road Dogg hold him up, and Shane and Stephanie both slap him. Vince gets a chair and brings it in, but Big Show, Dudley Boyz, Rikishi, and Too Cool run down and the Regime bails at the end of the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 7 2013, 05:05 PM Post #49 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: The British Bulldog, Since 5/6/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown May 11th, 2000 New Haven, CT Before the opener, Gerald Brisco comes out and says he's a proud defender of women's rights, and introduces the returning Trish Stratus with T & A. And Test & Albert too, I guess. Shane McMahon also comes out and says he shares Gerald's sentiments and calls Gerald Brisco his hero and second role model behind his father. Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus & Gerald Brisco & Shane McMahon This is okay. All their matches are basically the same. This had outside interference leading to T & A winning with Test's Big Boot. ** The Big Show runs down and grabs Shane by the throat. Test attacks, but gets Chokeslammed. Shane uses this to flee up the ramp and out of harm's way. In the back, Big Show is looking for Shane. Match #2: Chris Benoit vs. The Godfather w/ Hos Holy shit, Benoit got a decent match out of this fuck. I'm genuinely shocked. He beat the fuck out of Godfather, and then Godfather used brawling to take over briefly, and Benoit sold in his usual great manner and made all of Godfather's offense look decent. Godfather missed the Vader Bomb, and Benoit got the Crossface to win. They said they'd never seen Godfather tap out before. Ken Shamrock did it, but ok. Build for the submission match is going well. **1/4 Cole gets in the ring and asks Chris Benoit about the end of his title win on Raw, and Benoit says he never heard or saw Jericho give up, but when he gets the Crossface in, it's over, and Triple H made the right call because it would have had it anyways. He then offers Jericho a rematch at Judgment Day, but only in a Submission Match, so he can prove once and for all who the better man is. Back from break, BENOIT AND JERICHO BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER IN THE PARKING LOT! FUCK YEAH THIS FEUD! Referees break it up before they actually kill each other. The McMahon-Helmsley FacGime comes out to the ring to speak, and Patterson makes a DX vs. Too Cool/Rikishi elimination match. Shane then mocks Big Show and makes Show vs. Dudley Boyz in a tables match. Triple H then claims Rock was shooting The Mummy 2 in Morroco as an excuse to not be at Raw to answer his challenge for an Ironman Match at Judgment Day, and tries to cut a promo about how he has more stamina than Rock, and the Rock can't last 60 minutes with him and he knows it. Vince then says he's heard a lot of complaints from fans of The Rock and Chris Jericho and people like them, complaining that life isn't fair for them. He says fairness is for the weak, and life itself isn't fair, and has a word of advice to The Rock. LIFE SUCKS, AND THEN YOU DIE! Match #3: Dean Malenko vs. Chyna w/ Eddie Guerrero This was okay. Too much Dean having to sell for a goddamn woman. The ref got knocked down, and Saturn ran down to take out Eddie, and he hit a Brainbuster on Chyna. He left and Dean covered to win. At least the ending was right. *3/4 In a local bar, Bossman and Buchanan throw two people in the bar out of their seats and take them. In the back, Edge and Christian make a kid pay $5 for an autograph. They then take a picture with another one and totally block him out, and then make him pay $10. A re-hash of the amazing segment at the UK PPV, but that was brilliant so it had to be seen in America. Edge and Christian come out and do the five second pose, and introduce their partner, Kurt Angle! He comes out and gives E & C props, and says they are true role models that all of America can look up to. It's true! Match #4: The Hardy Boyz/Chris Jericho vs. Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle This pretty fun, but not as awesome as it eventually will be when they get time later in the year, if my memory is correct. Jeff continues to be a great seller and is a brilliant FIP. Benoit comes down and he and Jericho brawl up the ramp, leaving the Hardys all alone at the end. Christian hits Matt with the ring bell to block the Twist of Fate on Angle, and Angle covers to win. GODDAMN TEAM ECK IS FINALLY HERE. **3/4 Benoit and Jericho again have to be separated by referees. MMM. Match #5: British Bulldog [c] vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] This is probably the last of that fuck. This is kind of fun actually, because they hurl a toolbox into each other's face for 90 seconds before the finish comes. Crash Holly runs down and hits both men with a garbage can lid and wins the title and flees. That sort of summed up WWF Hardcore Title Wrestling. Two midcarders, one bland on his own and the other over the hill and worthless, throw a toolbox in each other's faces back and forth before Crash Holly comes out and steals the show. *1/2 In the back, Pat Patterson shows off his shit-stained underwear to the camera. What the fuck? Goddamnit, Pat. Stop. Match #6: The Dudley Boyz vs. The Big Show [Tables Match] This sucked a bag of cocks. Eventually, they hit a 3D to Show through a table when Show had climbed up to the middle rope. Way too long. *1/4 Shane McMahon now came down and punched at Show in the rubble, and The Dudleyz pulled out another table. Before they could get Shane, X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Tori came out, and laid out the Dudley Boyz. Tori then slapped both of them. In the APA office, Faarooq has stolen a TV monitor because he fucking can and they see Bull and BBM in the bar, and decide to go have a drink. Match #7: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Perry Saturn w/ Dean Malenko [WWF European Championship] This is fun, since it's Eddie bumping around and Saturn being awesome, etc. Chyna nails Saturn in the head with the flowers, and he is out cold and Eddie covers to retain. **1/2 Chyna reveals that a lead pipe was in the flowers. In the local bar, the APA find and beat the shit out of Team Prison Rape. This ruled. Match #8: Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley & Tori vs. Rikishi/Too Cool [Elimination Match] This sucked. A lot. Really lethargic DX performance, and just not laid out well at all. They eliminated both members of Too Cool with Pedigrees so it's 3 on 1, and they beat up Rikishi until a ref bump occurs. The Dudleyz run out and hit Triple H with a chair and 3D the other two. Rikishi covers to eliminate them, and Patterson runs out. He attacks him and hits the Stink Face, and tries one on Steph, but Triple H Pedigrees him to win. *3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 7 2013, 06:20 PM Post #50 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 5/11/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War May 15th, 2000 Cleveland, OH WWF Commissioner Shawn Michaels comes out and says he hasn't been here because he's focused on his wrestling school and his family, and is resigning as commissioner to focus on those things. Yeah, I'm sure letting Rudy Boy actually train the kids was tiring. He says he was the best ever, in the theme of him just telling the hugest lies in this promo. He then says that he is now the official WWF Spokesperson and Linda hired him for one more extra job. At Judgment Day, the originator of the Iron Man match will be the referee! Wait a minute, Rick Rude's dead and Steamboat isn't here. Oh, it's just you. Once again, you lying fuck. YOU ARE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT. Also, he claims that him costing Rock the WWF Title on the first Smackdown is what started the McMahon-Helmsley FacGime, because somehow that made Triple H daterape Stephanie and marry into the family after reuniting D-Generation X, who were still broken up when that happened. k. Vince McMahon then came out and tells him to SHUT UP. FUCK YEAH VINCE. He says this catches him off guard, and says at one time, he was a great WWF Champion and the most resilient WWF Champion ever, and he wonders how resilient he is now. Dat super subtle threat. Shawn then shoves him on his ass and leaves. How rude. Back from break, Shawn leaves in the limo, as DX and Steph arrive in another limo. X-Pac says he saw Shawn in that limo and Triple H says that's stupid. Big Show shows up and looks in their limo for Shane, and Triple H says he's not here yet. Show says he'll wait in the parking lot for Shane. In the back, Al Snow tells Blackman he's gotten rid of Head to show he's serious, and is wearing bland black pants like Blackman, and Head Cheese is back! Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. Head Cheese JR announces DX vs. Dudleyz in a tables match on PPV. Of course, X-Pac, Road Dogg, and Tori watch on the stage. This match was not good, but at least only 2 minutes. The Dudleyz won with the 3D on Snow. *1/2 DX runs down, and Bubba eats the X-Factor. They throw them both out, and set up a table. Tori climbs up and hits a Splash onto Bubba on the table on the floor. BREAK IT DOWN. KINGS OF ROCK WHO. KINGS OF ROCK WHAT. In the back, D-Von preaches to Bubba in a trance. He says to snap out of this and he promises that her sins will not go unpunished, because on Judgment Day, Tori will know their name, and they will TESTIFYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Stephanie comes out onto the stage and talks about how horrible it was on Smackdown to ALMOST get the Stink Face, and just being that close to it was enough. She then says that tonight, Rikishi will face a man who feels the same way and introduces Kurt Angle. He goes for a hug on Stephanie, but she does not, so they shake hands. Ahahahaha. Kurt says that Samoans greet each other by rubbing their asses in each other's faces, but it is not acceptable in America, despite what Cleveland thinks. It's true! Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi JR announces Team ECK vs. Rikishi/Too Cool for Judgment Day because they're booking the entire card tonight basically. Edge and Christian then watch from the stage, along with Pat Patterson. Unfortunately, this is 2 minutes like all their other matches, because Jesus hates us all. E & C do a run-in again for the DQ. *3/4 Rikishi cleans house on all three heels, and Too Cool runs down and hit Petterson and they clear the ring. "Just like usual, Patterson tried to come in the back door." - JR, being on the roll of his career. Rikishi and Too Cool then dance. The Big Show is still waiting in the parking lot. Match #3: Crash Holly [c] vs. The Godfather w/ Hos [WWF Hardcore Championship] This sucked a bag of dicks and was very short, in the theme of the night. Godfather is so fucking awful. D'Lo gets involved to do his cool offense and punches, and hits the Sky High on Crash. One of the Hos covers to win, but then Crash immediately hits a schoolboy on her to regain the belt. FUCK YEAH CRASH. *1/2 Triple H, Stephanie, and Vince now come out to the ring. Vince announces Rock vs. Benoit tonight! FUCK YEAH! Vince is clearly the best McMahon, more proof. Also, it's a Submission Match. Triple H is all like, "LOL ROCK DOESN'T HAVE ANY SUBMISSIONS!" like he's the goddamn submission master. Triple H then gets the mic and challenges The Rock to come out tonight and accept his match like a man, but he wants to make sure he knows about the Iron Man Match, and goes over the rules again. H says if Shawn doesn't call it down the middle, he will murder him and make his back injury look like a sprained ankle. IF ONLY! The Rock comes out onto the stage now, and officially accepts the match. He says he's been running his mouth for one week, and he understands Triple H. He says something keeps Triple H up at night and it's the fact that for as good as he is, The Rock is simply BETTER. He says Shawn Michaels runs his mouth about being the referee now, and he says he smells a rat from the word go, and the last time he saw HBK, he cost him the WWF Title. He says Shawn better call it down the middle, or he'll shove his boot straight up his narrow candy ass. He says one way or another, he'll get the job done tonight. He says as for Judgment Day, with what he's going to do to Triple H, an hour isn't long enough. IF YA SMELLALALALALALALALAU WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN. Match #4: Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly [Hardcore Match] This was actually a lot of fun for 4 minutes. They constantly threw punches whenever possible and it felt like a fight, lots of HATE!, that kind of thing. Also, some pretty good spots with chairs and trash cans and shit. Jericho gets the Walls on, but Benoit runs down and puts Jericho in a Dragon Sleeper. He lets go when Hardcore gets a chair in, and he creams Jericho with it to win. **1/2 In the parking lot, Show sees a limo pull up. He pulls the door open but it's just some Mexican dude inside. Why does he get a limo? Shane McMahon now walks down to the ring, constantly looking over his shoulder. He says that people call him a pussy, but that means cat, and he is quick as a cat, much like Simba. WHICH WAY DID HE GO WHICH WAY DID HE GO. FUCK YEAH. He challenges Show to a No DQ Falls Count Anywhere match at Judgment Day. Big Show comes out and accepts and says he can also beat up Shane now, but Shane introduces his opponents tonight , T & A! Gerald Brisco is also with them. Match #5: The Big Show vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus, Shane McMahon, & Gerald Brisco Show is pretty much immobile by this point, so this blew. This is not even a little bit good. Trish gets involved, and Show tries to kill her, but Brisco saves and eats a Chokeslam. Shane uses a chair for the DQ. 3/4* Shane tries to get away, but Show catches him on the stage and hurls him back-first into the bottom of the huge Titantron and Shane is KO'd on the stage. Match #6: Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna JR announced a 3 way for the Euro Title involving every man in this match. I should clarify. Every man who doesn't claim to be a woman. This is awesome whenever Chyna is not in. And then Dean and Saturn bump around well enough on her hot tag to make her not look like an awful awful wrestler which she is, or at least a slightly less awful one. She accidentally low blows Eddie thinking he's Saturn behind her, and Saturn hits a Brainbuster on Eddie to win. **1/2 In the back, Cole asks E & C why they would defend the titles in a 3 way tag, and they ask why he would dye his hair like a 14 year old girl. Also, for the citizens of Cleveland with flash photography, they have a special surprise. Edge and Christian have a special pose called a "Cleveland Indians Relief Pitcher", and it involves Edge miming pitching and then watching the imaginary ball be hit over his head and out of the park. Win. Match #7: Edge/Christian [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Acolytes [WWF Tag Team Championship] This is good for the 2.5 minutes it goes. What the fuck is going on this week? The APA never really get involved, as it's just the champs working over Matt, and Matt making a brief comeback. Jeff hits a Plancha to Bradshaw, and then the APA beat the shit out of him on the floor. The ref is distracted and Christian sneaks in to hit the Unpretter on Matt, and Edge covers to retain. ** In the back, Vince instructs Benoit to make Rock squeal, and Benoit tells Cole to mind his own damn business and what he does to Rock is just a taste of what happens to Jericho on Sunday. Match #8: The Rock vs. Chris Benoit w/ Triple H & Vince McMahon [Submission Match] This ruled, although not as much as their cage match. They worked the story of Benoit having a lot of submission expertise to Rock not really having any very well, and Rock's one submission of the Jujigatame was sold beautifully as a big deal by Benoit, as he kept shaking out his arm whenever Rock was down for the rest of the match. Rock also got a Figure Four, but Triple H pulled Benoit to the ropes. Benoit then got the Crossface, and Vince demanded the bell was rung. *** Rock gets beat down by Triple H and Benoit, and Jericho runs down to save. He gets the Walls on Triple H, and Benoit is hit with the Rock Bottom. DX then runs down, but so do the Dudleyz. They set up a table in the ring, but DX bails. They run after them, and Rock drives H through the table with the Rock Bottom. Rock celebrates to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 7 2013, 07:02 PM Post #51 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Crash Holly, Since 5/15/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown May 18th, 2000 Detroit, MI The McMahon-Helmsley Regime/Faction/Rape Squadron Alpha comes out to open the show. Stephanie books Benoit/Holly vs. Jericho/a partner of his choice. Shane calls out Big Show tonight, and Triple H cuts ANOTHER promo running down the rules of the Iron Man match and he says there will be no overtime! Vince then books a Lumberjack Handicap Tables Match when The Dudley Boyz meet The Rock. In the APA Office (now with door!), Crash Holly pays them for an hour's protection so he can get some sleep and stop being afraid. Match #1: Kurt Angle vs. Scotty 2 Hotty This was okay. S2H does stuff, until Angle blocks a Victory Roll to win. Scotty is not good in a singles environment, and Angle still is a work in progress, so this was a little rough. *3/4 In the office, the APA get pissed at Crash for snoring and they say they can't wait until an hour is up. Chyna comes down and says there is no three way at Judhment Day and the winner of the next match determines who faces Eddie. She then introduces Eddie as the referee. Wat. I guess they can do that? Match #2: Dean Malenko vs. Perry Saturn [#1 Contender's Match - Special Referee: Eddie Guerrero] This was pretty awesome, except for the goddamn RVD/Lynn rollup sequence that was pretty forced in. Eddie refused to call any DQs or countouts, and he and Saturn got in a shoving contest. Dean hit Saturn with the belt, but Eddie wouldn't count. He then hit Dean with the belt and called it a no-contest. **1/2 Post-match, Chyna said the triple threat was now back on for Judgment Day. Awesome heel trick. Match #3: Christian vs. Grandmaster Sexay This was quite enjoyable. Lawler's kid inherited his dad's awesome selling and energy at least for one night, and yeah. Crowd heat helped a good match become quite good. Christian got a rollup with the tights, but Sexay reversed into his own rollup with the tights to win. **1/2 In the APA office, the ho from Monday who briefly won the Hardcore Title tries to attack Crash, but Bradshaw kicks her out. Val Venis comes out and says he's tired of being told there's no plans for him, and he's making his own plans, and he challenges the winner of Benoit/Jericho to an IC Title match on Raw. Chris Benoit comes down and says there's no doubt he'll beat Jericho on Sunday, and says he'll put the title up against Val right now. Chris Jericho then comes down and says he'll make Benoit tap on PPV, and on Monday it will be him vs. Jericho. Then Hardcore Holly comes out. Goddamnit. He says he should be the one facing the winner, not Val. Jericho then immediately selects Val as his partner and the match is now on! Match #4: Chris Jericho/Val Venis vs. Chris Benoit/Hardcore Holly Cole says on Heat, Trish showed interest in Val Venis, so that's a thing. This is 2 minutes of Benoit and Jericho punching each other and chopping each other while Val and Holly brawl on the floor, so that was a great 2 minutes.Jericho gets the Walls, and Holly nails Val on the floor with a chair. He gets in and hits Jericho in the head with the chair for a DQ. Fuck you. *3/4 He then hits Benoit with the chair, and repeatedly hits him in the knee. He keeps attacking the knee before referees come down. Say, that Walls of Jericho kind of works on the knee! If only fucking Cole mentioned this at all. In the back, EMTs check on Benoit's knee. This show's 5 Second Pose is Christian in a Red Wings jersey and a goalie mask watching as Edge wears a Colorado Avalanche jersey and mimes scoring a goal on him. And Kurt Angle celebrates in the background. Awesome. Fuck Detroit. Now and forever. Match #5: Edge w/ Christian & Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi w/ Too Cool This is a minute, and has Edge bumping around for the big man. He takes the goalie mask and wears it to block the Stink Face, but Rikishi takes it. He tries the Bonzai Drop, but Angle and Christian run in. Oh fuck this episode. 3/4* Too Cool and Rikishi clear the ring and dance. Except Team ECK comes back out to attack them in mid-dance, and they do a mocking dance of their own. YEAH! In the APA office, Brisco brings them a kid who says he knows them, but NO! IT'S JOE C THE GODDAMN KID ROCK MIDGET. FUCK. I forgot about this little shit. Faarooq says Crash's hour is up, so the APA and the little shit go to drink. I'm so glad he's dead now. Brisco then eyes up Crash sleeping. Big Show comes out to fight Shane, but Shane says he lost his gear, so Show will run a gauntlet. Of course, this is a gauntlet where Shane can add new people before one match is even over. Match #6: The Big Show vs. T & A/X-Pac/Road Dogg/Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan w/ Shane McMahon, Trish Stratus, & Tori [Gauntlet Match Sort Of] This was not good. 6 on 1 with occasional Show bursts. Shane gets in with a chair and they use it with an X-Factor and Buchanan Scissors Kick on the chair. Shane then stands on the open chair and T & A lifts up Show and Shane Chokeslams him for the win. Oh, the chair wasn't a DQ? Awesome. Not like the ref looked right the fuck at it. I guess it fits with the theme of this awful episode. That theme? 1999. Fuck you. 1/2* In the empty APA office, Gerald Brisco sneaks in with a ref, and he quietly counts as Briscoe covers with one finger. Gerald Brisco is now the Hardcore Champion. Crash wakes up as Brisco leaves with the belt, and they have a chase throughout the arena. Crash chases him to the ring and beats on him until Pat Patterson runs down for the distraction. Brisco hits Crash with a trash can and bails, still champion. Patterson tries the Stink Face WHICH HAS TO SMELL LIKE MOLDY FRUIT~. His underpants are clean now, but Crash kicks him in the dick. He grabs a nightstick from somewhere and jabs Pat up the asshole with it, and Pat rolls around selling it like it's the worst pain ever. Stop lying, you old queer, Virgil was probably bigger. In the back, The Rock cuts a promo about how the last time he and HBK were in the same ring, Shawn cost him the title, and if he does it again, he'll beat the hell out of Shawn, but he will win at Judgment Day. Catchphrases mixed in. The lumberjacks are: DX, Triple H, Tori, Stephanie, Bossman, Buchanan, T & A, Gerald Brisco, Pat Patterson, Vince McMahon, & Shane McMahon. Tables were brought down to the ring. Match #7: The Rock vs. The Dudley Boyz [Lumberjack Tables Match] This was hardly a match. They both got attacked on the floor for the first 2 minutes, recovered, and got into the ring. They then looked at each other and went to attack their enemies on the floor, effectively ending the match. Well, fuck you then. * A brawl ensues, and tables are set up. Test goes through one on the floor, and then X-Pac takes Bubba off the top through one with a Super X-Factor. Dogg Powerbombs D-Von through another. Two more are set up, and Rock sends Bull down with a Spinebuster through a table. H then sends Rock through the final one with a Rock Bottom of his own. DX poses. Fuck you all. This was awful. HORRIBLE SHOW. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 8 2013, 01:04 AM Post #52 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: The Rock, Since 4/30/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 ![]() WWF JUDGMENT DAY 2000 MAY 21ST, 2000 LOUISVILLE, KY Awesome intro: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Tv9ZAYOv90 In the back, Vince talks to the FacGime and says tonight is a night of celebration and victory. Gerald Brisco is late and says he had errands to run, and they give him their coffee orders. He leaves, and Vince then hypes up the three matches the Facgime is in. In the hallway, The Headbangers attack Brisco while he's getting coffee, and they try to win the Hardcore Title off him. They end up fighting each other instead, and Brisco runs away. Kurt Angle comes out on the mic, and speaks. He says ever since he teamed up with Edge & Christian, Your Olympic Hero has been getting a lot of extra attention from teenage girls. He says he is, as they say on the streets, "all that". It's true. He gives the girls some advice and says to be clean, pure, and abstinent, and follow his Three I's. He brings out Edge & Christian and they do the amazing jug band pose. ![]() Match #1: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Kurt Angle/Edge & Christian Super super fun 10 minute opener. Good goofy comedy and shenanigans early on in the babyface shine part, and then the heels had a solid control seg. SUPER hot crowd also really helped out taking this from "really good" to "great". Rikishi has a great hot tag, and Christian hits Rikishi with the ring bell to run their usual cheap finish. Edge falls on top to win, but Sexay hits the Hip Hop Drop and puts Rikishi on top to win! *** After the match, they all dance, as is their custom. In the back, Shawn Michaels says he's not bias, but you can't address his job as ref until after the match. Cole asks about an internet rumor that he was jealous of Rock, and Shawn says if it's on the internet, it has to be true. Match #2: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Dean Malenko vs. Perry Saturn [WWF European Championship] JR claims that the last two times the European Title has been defended on PPV, it's switched hands, despite Eddie successfully defending it the previous PPV. Top of the line work as always for the 7 or so that this went. This had a lot of really good sequences and three way spots, despite some rough patches early on. The flowers Chyna brought down again had a lead pipe in them, and she KO'd Saturn with it on the floor. Dean managed to block the shot, but Chyna then tripped him up so he hit his face off the flowers, and Eddie got him with an Oklahoma Roll for the win. **3/4 In the bathroom, Gerald Brisco is hiding and gets freaked out by his own reflection and punches the mirror. Hype video for Shane/Show. Match #3: The Big Show vs. Shane McMahon [Falls Count Anywhere] Not great, but a really fun McMahon interference shortcut filled festival. Shane totally died on a few awesome spots from Show, and they used lots of weapons well to get over the general narrative. T & A and Bossman and Buchanan all got involved as the match went near the entrance. They trap Big Show's leg under a huge fucking speaker, and then Shane breaks a cinder block on his head to win. At only 7 minutes, this really flew by for once in a McMahon match. **1/2 Big Show is stretchered out, and makes the best ever selling noises until Booker T in 2009. "OHHHHH GOD IT'S SO PAINFUL" isn't quite "AH NIGGA MY LEG NIGGA MY LEG" Gerald Brisco tries to catch some rest in the referee office, but they both try to pin him so he bails. In the back, Triple H & Shawn Michaels talk about his kids and his wife, and Michaels refuses to not wear the banana smuggling shorts, despite Triple H more than implying he's a faggot if he wears them. JR notes that it's odd that they didn't discuss the match at all. Hype video for Benoit/Jericho. Match #4: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Intercontinental Championship - Submission Match] This is their masterpiece, the best match they ever had together that wasn't a gimmick match. Benoit's knee has a brace on it, and he does the classic stoic Misawa sell as he uses it to show it's not hurt, and it holds up for a while before he can no longer mask the pain. He hobbles a little bit, and Jericho attacks it, and Benoit is then mad AT HIMSELF FOR SHOWING PAIN. He then probably did like 1000 hindu squats after this to punish himself. Anyways, Benoit works the arm and Jericho works the leg. Tons of insanely brutal stuff in both directions. Knees and arms being thrown into an exposed buckle, Jericho whipping Benoit's knee with the brace afte he takes it off, measured knees by Benoit to the arm and chest, and Benoit whipping Jericho repeatedly in the face with the knee brace. Jericho won't tap to the Crossface, so Benoit puts on the choke-out variant and the ref stops it. **** In the back, Gerald Brisco attacks food vendors when he sees them talking to a referee. In the back, Rock tells Shawn to call it right down the middle, otherwise it's then between he and The Rock. Match #5: The Dudley Boyz vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Tori [Tables Match] This happened. Pretty much the definition of average. For some reason, they worked a normal tag in a hardcore rules match, essentially. Then tables got in, but the match was already boring as shit by then. D-Von ate a Pumphandle Slam through a table, and then X-Pac got Powerbombed through one. The ref took a bump, and Dogg ate a 3D through a table, but the ref was down, so it didn't count. They tried a Superbomb on Tori through a table, but Gerald Brisco ran down and punched Bubba in the dick. Tori got down, and X-Pac hit a Super X-Factor through a table on Bubba, and the ref saw it, so DX was given the match. **1/2 DX bails out, and Brisco ends up being given the 3D through the table. ARE YOU SCARED? JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING JUDGMENT DAY IS HERE Hype video for the main event. Before the bell, Triple H comes out with all three McMahons who regularly show up on TV, but he sends them to the back. Match #6: The Rock [c] vs. Triple H [WWF Championship - Iron Man Match - Special Referee: Shawn Michaels] This is their finest work together. This is also for my money the best WWE/F Iron Man ever. They pace themselves well and don't blow their loads early (see: Bork/Angle), booking helps it along without ever ruining it (see: the end of Benoit/H), they have multiple quality stories instead of just one, and they have enough action throughout so it never drags (see: the 1990s ones, the middle of Orton/Cena). GREAT small storytelling in the first fall as Rock surprises H by beginning with punches, so H tries to shut it down by working the arm. It fails and goes nowhere, but it was a cool little detail. Rock works with Triple H's slower pace in the first fall, and it manages to lull H a little bit, so Rock catches a flash Rock Bottom to go up 1-0 about 11 minutes in. Triple H is thrown off huge and takes risks to make up for it, and winds up hurting his knee. Rocky works the knee, and H sells well in transition to the next part. He shoves Rock off a Figure Four into the corner and hits the Pedigree around 26 minutes to put it at 1-1. Rock is still groggy from it, and H takes advantage with a cradle to go up 2-1. H works over the head now, and Rock has some amazing exhaustion selling. Triple H breaks out a Piledriver at 33 or so minutes to make it a 3-1 lead. He now tries to put the match in deep freeze, and keeps Rock on the mat with head based holds. Rock fights back a little, and gets a DDT at 40-41 minutes to go back to 3-2. Rock starts to make a full awesome comeback, but Triple H gets a chair and hits Rock with it for a DQ! IT's 3-3 now, AND TRIPLE H IMMEDIATELY COVERS TO GO 4-3! He puts on a Sleeper to work the cut, and keeps it on for a while. He gets his feet on the ropes in it, AND THE FUCKING SLEEPER GETS HIM A FALL TO GO UP 5-3 AT 47 MINUTES! AWESOME! He puts it even more in deep freeze to run the clock out, and Rock gets more and more desperate and the nearfalls are goddamned incredible. They break out big stuff that they don't usually use like Superplexes, and some different throws for The Rock. H tries to end the comeback for good at 55-56 minutes with something on the announce table, BUT ROCK PEDIGREES TRIPLE H ON THE TABLE AND IT DOESN'T BREAK! TRIPLE H BLEEDS NOW, AND ROCK GETS BACK IN TO WIN BY COUNT OUT AND GO 5-4! AND THE MCMAHONS COME OUT TO RUN INTERFERENCE! The last 4 minutes is some of the most frantic and desperate Rock offense ever. He fights them all off, AND HITS THE PINEBUSTER AND PEOPLE'S ELBOW AND EVENS IT UP AT 5-5 WITH TWO MINUTES LEFT! FUCK YEAH! The interference begins now en mass, and Shane hits Rock with a chair. BUT THE CREEPY LITTLE GIRLS ARE BACK! HE'S HERE! "HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD!" I. AM. AMERICAN BADASS. THE GODDAMNED UNDERTAKER RIDES OUT ON THE BIKE AND KILLS EVERYONE! HE TOMBSTONES TRIPLE H RIGHT AFTER THE CLOCK HITS ZERO! SOMEHOW THE BELL DOESN'T FUCKING RING AND SHAWN CALLS IT A DQ THIS IS COMPLETELY NONSENSICAL FOLLOW THE FUCKING RULES OF THE MATCH. THE TIME LIMIT HAS EXPIRED. IT IS OVER. OH FUCKING GREAT, THAT MOTHERLESS CANCER SUCKGING FAGGOT TRIPLE H WON THE TITLE VIA DQ AT 6-5. FUCK YOU SHAWN YOU GODAWFUL OFFICIAL. FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMNED WORTHLESS TIMEKEEPER. YOUR ONE JOB IS TO KEEP THE FUCKING TIME, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, YOU CAN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT. AND NOW SHAWN GETS TO MAKE UP RULES TO HAND THE TITLE TO HIS BESTIE. BULL SHIT. And yeah, anyways. So yeah, this match was awesome. Some issues with selling and the ending, but the drama, pace, and overall storytelling were amazing, and both men come out of this looking less like current greats and more like all time greats. Also, I loved Lawler actually commentating like a former wrestler for once and pointing out a bunch of shit about what it's like to go an hour and what you need to do, as it really did put this and these two over. His best commentary job ever. ****1/2 Taker stalks Shawn up the ramp, also mad about him being a horrible ref. The FacGime helps H from the ring with the WWF Title to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 9 2013, 06:09 PM Post #53 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is Penis May 22nd, 2000 Indianapolis, IN Vince McMahon comes out and talks about the successful night at Judgment Day, and says that since The Undertaker walked out on his contract in the fall, he is not legally under contract here, so he has police outside the building waiting to arrest The Undertaker tonight if he shows up. He says tonight, if Rock shows up, it's Rock vs. Triple H/Shane/DX. Vince then says they took the WWF Title from The Rock, and tonight, they'll take everything that's left. Back from break, Vince walks in the back. Rock jumps him and beats the shit out of him. He throws him in a limo, and yells at the driver to drive off, and he does. FUCK YEAH ANGRY ROCK! Match #1: The Hardy Boyz vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus Good 4-5 minute formula tag, although not quite on the level of their match in late March. Matt is not quite as good a face in peril at this point as Jeff is, but Jeff's hot tag was still pretty good. Trish shoved Matt into the post on the floor. Jeff hit Albert with the Swanton Bomb, and Trish distracted the ref as Test hit him with the Flying Elbow. Albert covered for the semi-upset. I think the feud is starting now, so that's cool **1/2 In the back, The Rock is waiting in the parking lot for whichever FacGime member shows up next. Match #2: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. D'Lo Brown [WWF European Champion] Yes! D'Lo sighting! They have a really fun match for 2 minutes, before that walking sack of shit The Godfather comes out with some hos. He distracts D'Lo, and Eddie gets a quick Huracanrana to win. ** Godfather runs down to the ring now, and hits D'Lo with the Pimp Drop. In the parking lot, Brisco meets X-Pac, Road Dogg, & Tori coming out of the limo and hysterically explains that Rock took out Vince. They say it's fine, but Rock attacks them both with a lead pipe from behind. Brisco and Tori disappear, I guess, and Rock throws them in the back of a semi-truck and locks the door. That's what you get for wearing jean shorts, X-Pac. God damn man. Before the next match, Edge, Christian, and Kurt unveil a new pose, which is them miming Bobby Knight choking a player. THE BEST. Match #3: Kurt Angle/Edge & Christian vs. Rikishi/Too Cool This was fun, but super super short and does not compare to last night. They just did a full on finishing run for the entire match with Too Cool and 'Kish cleaning house, Stink Face, etc. Edge cut off Scotty on "R" in the W-O-R-M with a tag title to face. Angle then rolled up S2H to win. FUCK YEAH TEAM ECK. **1/4 In the back, Shane McMahon arrives. Brisco tries to tell him about what's happened, but Shane is in a good mood and will hear none of it and walks right in. Shane McMahon comes down to the ring, and gets on the mic. He talks about beating Show, and names himself The Giant Killer. The Rock comes down and beats up Shane. He fights him through the crowd and into the back, and he threw him out of the building into the street. Match #4: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Val Venis [WWF Intercontinental Championship] YEAH, AT LEAST THIS GOT 7 MINUTES! They beat the shit out of each other and had not just a good back and forth match, but a good match where the story was that it was back and forth and nobody could keep the advantage, due to Benoit's leg still hurting him. Which did a lot, imo, to help Val regain some of his lost momentum over the last 6 months of hardly being used while keeping Benoit at his upper midcard level. A ton of really great little aggressive things, and a good gradual build. And then Hardcore Holly came down and hit Benoit with a chair for the DQ. Horrible end, but at least they got to have an awesome match before the bullshit ending. *** Holly then also hits Val with the chair. He went to leave, but Jericho's music and video came on. Holly waited for Jericho to come out, but Jericho came from the crowd and nailed Bobcore with the chair. In the parking lot, The Rock is still waiting for Triple H and Stephanie. Match #5: The Dudley Boyz vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan Oh, goddamnit. Way to kill my good buzz about this show based on Benoit/Val. This actually wasn't awful, so much as the definition of mediocre. The Dudz won with 3D on Bossman. *1/2 In the APA office (with door marked "ALMOST DONE"), Crash Holly storms in after knocking. He rants about how SD was a breach of contract, and wants his money back. They refuse, so Crash opens a beer and pours it on Bradshaw's head. He runs off and Bradshaw chases him. Faarooq then yells out not to hurt him, he's just a boy. So awesome. Match #6: Crash Holly vs. Bradshaw [Hardcore Match] Bradshaw completely murders Crash, and it rules. Best squash of the year, perhaps. He wins with the Clothesline From Hell. **1/4 In the McMahon dressing room, Brisco tells Triple H and Stephanie what happened. H says he'll go find Rock first, and the three of them leave. The Rock them comes out from the shadows of the back of the room! A pre-taped interview from after Judgment Day airs, with HBK saying he called it right down the middle and was a great ref. Except no. In the back, Lita catches Essa Rios hanging out with The Godfather and the hos before tag match, and says it's cool, but she is clearly not cool with it. It's supposed to be Godfather/Essa vs. Dean/Saturn now, but Malenko accepts the offer of two ho's, and he leaves with them. Match #7: The Godfather/Essa Rios w/ Hos & Lita vs. Perry Saturn This is short, but really really fun. Saturn vs. Essa was AWESOME. Godfather then cleaned house. Essa went up top, but Lita climbed up and hung him up on the top and left. Saturn hit a Brainbuster to win. ** In the back, H, Steph, and Brisco look for Rock. The Rock comes down to the ring, and finally speaks tonight. He says Triple H never won the final fall by himself, and he got lucky, and says he WILL be WWF Champion again. Rock then says that Undertaker did the right thing at Judgment Day, but he did it on Rock's time and cost Rock the WWF Title in the process. Rock goes over tonight, and says he's waited to call Triple H out until now, and it's now 1 on 1. Triple H then comes out onto the stage with Stephanie, and talks for like 10 minutes about how he won and how he proved Rock can't hang with him. Rock finally cuts him off and says to JUST BRING IT. Triple H now comes down to the ring, and they fight. Rock gets the better of it, but X-Pac and Road Dogg come down. Rock goes after them, and Shane comes from the crowd as well. Brisco brings Vince down, and eventually, the odds overwhelm The Rock. They beat on Rock, and the creepy Judgment Day video plays. HE IS COMING. HE IS BACK FROM THE DEAD. JUDGMENT DAY IS NOW. ARE YOU SCARED? ![]() I'M AN AMERICAN BADASS BAH GAWD KING THE UNDERTAKER IS HERE ON RAW! YEAH JR, AND HE'S COMING OUT TO THE SOUNDS OF KID ROCK'S "AMERICAN BADASS"! BLATANT SHILL BY LAWLER! He comes down and kills the Faction/Regime/FacGime/Boner Patrol '00, and rides his bike around ringside. Taker chases everyone but H off to the back on his bike, and Rock comes back on H in the ring. It goes to the floor, and Rock hits the Rock Bottom through the announce table. BAH GAWD. A SMALL PENIS. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 9 2013, 07:42 PM Post #54 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown May 25th, 2000 Evansville, IN There are many many cops in the ring. Cole acts like he's just noticing this, despite sitting at ringside for at least a few minutes and either seeing them come to the ring or in the ring when he himself came down to commentary. In the parking lot, Vince, Shane, and Brisco get out of their limousine, AND BAH GAWD THE UNDERTAKER TRIES TO RUN DOWN VINCE REPEATEDLY ON HIS MOTORCYCLE! Vince and Co. escape on stairs, and Taker just sits on the bike glaring at them. Sure, he COULD just stand up and probably get them, but that's so much less badass. Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and gets on the mic after shoving a cop out of his way. He confirms that the cops' guns are armed, unfortunately NOT by firing at random and murdering a fan, and then calls out The Undertaker. The Undertaker walks out now. Vince yells at him saying he's trespassing right now, and Taker says Vince's old lady signed him to a fat new contract. WHAT THAT MEANS IS, BOSS, YOU GET THE PLEASURE OF PAYING ME LOTS OF MONEH TO KICK YO' SKANK ASS! Clearly, Taker takes a few months to get down all the biker lingo and what actually sounds good. Everything works by 2001 though. Vince says to then arrest Taker for attempted homicide. The cop he shoved says he will, but then Vince would also go in for assaulting a cop, and the cops all leave. Taker then tries to Chokeslam Vince once the cops leave, but Shane runs down with a chair. He hits Taker to no effect, but the McMahons bail out. Edge and Christian come down and say they WOULD issue an open challenge, but they've beaten everyone besides like The Moongdogs, and they inquire if they are still alive. Eddie Guerrero and Chyna come down now, and accept. ALMOST CUM. Match #1: Edge & Christian [c] vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna [WWF Tag Team Championship] This is fun, and Eddie is cheered like a hero for cheating like crazy. E & C somehow get disqualified for double teaming when all 4 were in the ring for the last 2 minutes. **1/4 Eddie and Chyna clear the ring. In the APA office, Crash has "broken in". The APA enter, and Bradshaw says he thought he locked the door. AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO AWESOME. Crash yells at them again, and says he wants the little one now, and points at Faarooq. He tries to tell Crash a story of when he was a boy, so Crash spills beer on him and runs away. Faarooq calmly puts his cigar out, and says "Well, damn." and leaves. Bradshaw yells, "REMEMBER! HE'S JUST A BOY!" Bradshaw then finds that all the beer is gone and Crash wasted their last one, and then yells, "KILL HIM". The APA is the best. In the back, Vince tells Brisco to wait out back, and to report back when The Rock arrives. Match #2: Crash Holly vs. Faarooq w/ Bradshaw[Hardcore Match] Bradshaw gives us a look into the future, and does commentary. He says he'd give King a beer but he only has 6 left, and refuses to give Cole one, and complains that he'll never finish 6 beers before the end of the match. Also, the debut of "SHUT UP, COLE". Faarooq murders Crash and wins with the Dominator and it rules. ** In the parking lot, Triple H and Stephanie get here, and Brisco tells them what happened. They demand to go check on Vince, and all three leave. Match #3: Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis vs. Hardcore Holly [Intercontinental Title #1 Contender's Match] This is actually pretty fun for a Holly match, and it goes like 7 minutes. Cool three way spots, and all the Val/Jericho stuff was pretty fucking awesome. They have great chemistry together, and it's a shame they never had a long match of any kind during this 2000 Val run when he was actually still good before RTC killed him. Jericho hit the Lionsault, but Bobcore hit Jericho with a Flying Legdrop, and covered Val to win. Wat. WHY?! **1/2 In the back, Brisco tells Vince that Rock is here, and he leaves. Outside the parking garage, Vince and Brisco confront Rock. Vince says The Undertaker is why Rock isn't WWF Champion, not him or the Faction. He gives Rock the night off, and Rock accepts. Rock then comes out the window and says he has something to tell Vince. He gets close enough, and Rock slaps him. Vince and Brisco left, and The Undertaker then appeared from the shadows. Clearly someone on the writing staff is in love with that motif this week. Match #4: Matt Hardy vs. Essa Rios This is actually a fun spotfest. Lita and Jeff are both on the floor. Essa hits all his stuff clean for once, and Matt is solid as usual. Essa uses Lita as a shield on the floor, and then throws her in the way of a Matt punch. He then accidentally knocks her off the apron later, and Matt wins with the Twist of Fate. **1/2 Essa beats up Lita post match, but The Hardyz run back down to save. They lay out Essa, and help Lita to the back. So that's begun. In the back, Vince says with Rock gone, they now need a plan to get rid of Taker tonight. H suggests they use The Giant Killer, and everyone looks at Shane, and he's all like "hhahahahahah wut? No, hahaha, no. Oh goddamnit. I hate you all." Match #5: The Dudley Boyz/Too Cool vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg/T & A w/ Trish Stratus & Tori This match was really awesome, to a shocking degree. Solid build and a really well done finishing run. Chaos mixed perfectly well with a ton of innovative and logical spots, and an insane crowd. Albert was great in this with all his sweet power spots. Everyone else did their thing well, and even fucking S2H looked competent. The ref went down, and Rikishi came in to stop the 4 on 2 when the Dudleyz got taken out. He hit the Flying Asshole into the corner and X-Pac stumbled into the 3D for the win. So much fun. *** Post-match, Too Cool wants the Dudz to dance. The two teams exchange glasses, and everyone gets down. Bubba does the Macarena. This is the best thing ever. In the back, Triple H hypes up Shane and says he can do anything. Kurt Angle comes out and says it's been too long since he's held gold. It's true, it's DAMN true. He then says that while the people here literally have nothing to live for, tonight they can tell their kids that they saw a new Intercontinental Champion! It's true! Match #6: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Kurt Angle [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This was good shit, as expected by any rational person. They got a solid 4-5 minutes to work. The story is that Angle is 100% serious now, somewhat catching Benoit offguard to start. Benoit then recovers, so Angle goes to amateur throws since that's where he has the advantag. They then do a finishing run kinda, but it gets cut off by Holly. He comes down and nails Angle with a chair for the DQ. **3/4 He tries to hit Benoit, but he kicks him and Benoit hits Holly with the chair now. YEAH FUCK YOU BOBCORE! Match #7: Al Snow vs. Bull Buchanan Both tag partners were there. This was a pile of shit. I don't even want to talk about it. Bossman used the nightstick and Bull hit the Scissors Kick to win. I swear, every time I get really into a show and enjoy it, they do something like this. Goddamnit WWF. 1/2* In the back, Shane says he'll destroy The Underaker tonight for trying to kill his dad and leaves. Vince says his son inherited his set of grapefruits, and Brisco says he's just like his dad. Awww. Match #8: The Undertaker vs. Shane McMahon Total mauling until The Faction runs in. Meh. *1/2 The Undertaker gets them all until the numbers overwhelm him after a few moments. The Rock then returns and he fights off DX and they bail out to the floor. They retreat and Taker chases them up the ramp on his bike. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 9 2013, 08:33 PM Post #55 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War May 29th, 2000 Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada The Undertaker rides his bike out to the ring, and they hype Kid Rock performing on the show later. Oh, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. Before Taker can say anything, The McMahon-Helmsley Regime/Faction/EPIC HEEL STABLE comes out. H talks about how they run things now and Taker says he wants the title, etc. They surround the ring, but The Rock comes onto the stage. He says he and Taker don't like each other, but hate all of them even more, so Vince books Rock vs. Taker tonight, since Canadia isn't good enough for a WWF Title match. In the back, that goddamn Kid Rock midget Joe C says hello to the APA. Match #1: Perry Saturn/D'Lo Brown/Terri vs. Dean Malenko/The Godfather/The Kat w/ Hos JR claims D'Lo is responsible for his own lack of a push, and JR again proves himself to be a goddamn moron. Whenever Godfather was not in the ring and other men were, this ruled and proved D'Lo still had it until like 2004. Saturn hit a Flying Elbow Drop on Dean to win. **1/4 In the back, Edge and Christian talk to Joe C and take a pic with him, and ask him how it was to film Austin Powers. ahahahahahah. He calls them idiots and walks away. Back from break, Angle walks by and they show a picture of them with Mini Me. He says nobody loves pictures with midgets more than him, but he has gold to go win. They wish him luck, and they all high five. What a wonderful stable. Kurt cuts an AMAZING promo on the way to the ring about how Canada lacks Memorial Day, which is today, and explains it as America celebrating their war heroes by having BBQs. Angle says he understands they can't ever have a BBQ in Canada, because 1. there are no war heroes in Canada, and 2. they would all be attacked by a moose or caribou or a grizzly bear. On second thought, the Grizzlies never beat anyone ever! Hockey joke, classic. Kurt is the best ever to do the cheap local sports jokes, as it's more than circa-2009 Miz "BOOOOO YOUR SPORTS TEAMS SUCK" bits, as he ties it into his own normal promos and uses it to put himself over without it coming off as blatant pandering for hear. Match #2: Eddie Guerrero [c] w/ Chyna vs. Kurt Angle [WWF European Championship] Enjoyable match for 3 minutes, although they clearly held back. Angle accidentally hit Chyna, so when the ref was down, she came in and hit a low blow on Kurt. Eddie then hit a Flying Huracanrana off the top rope to win. Angle did have his foot under the bottom rope when he was pinned. **1/2 In the back, Edge and Christian find Joe C and apologize, and ask for the purposes of their 5 Second Pose, if he's a dwarf or a midget. Edge says he's an Ewok, and Joe tells them to go fuck themselves. Hahahahahahha. In the back, Road Dogg walks by a closet and hears funny noises. He goes in, and it sounds like he is attacked. BUT WHO WAS CLOSET Edge and Christian's newest pose honors Joe C, and is them on their knees in baby shows and fuzzy Kangol hats doing rap poses. Not their best, but the backstage segments made up for it. Match #3: Edge & Christian [c] vs. Too Cool [WWF Tag Team Championship] Only three and a half minutes, but it clearly showed what they could do with more time. This was a ton of fun, largely due to the hot crowd. S2H again fucked up a simple move, at least for a trained wrestler, like an inside cradle, but E & C bump around magnificently. S2H avoids the tag title shot this time, and he and Edge brawl away. Rikishi and Joe C come out. The little cunt has a hockey stick and low blows Christian with it as Rikishi distracts the ref. Sexay hits Christian with the tag title belt and covers AND TOO COOL WINS THE TITLES?! FUCK YEAH KINDA! Smart to strike while the iron is hot with them, but I kinda wish E & C had a full on 6 month title reign from Mania through Unforgiven. **3/4 Post-match, the new champions, Rikishi, and Joe C dance. In the back, Vince informs Stephanie that he has another surprise for Rock/Taker. The lights go out, and when they come back on, Vince is clutching his head on the floor. Match #4: Rikishi vs. Shane McMahon [KOTR Qualifying Match] Why is this a thing? Rikishi beats up Shane until Triple H runs in. Rikishi takes them both on, until Shane uses a chair for the DQ. *1/2 They beat up Rikishi with the chair, and Triple H hits the Pedigree on the chair. Shane covers and counts his own pin. I see literally no reason why this happened. In the back, Stephanie has summoned T&A and Val Venis. She says that on HeAT, the Hardyz got involved in T & A vs. Jericho, and knows Trish has had her eye on Val, so she books a 6 man tonight, and tells them to get the job done. She leaves and Test blurts out, "Bitch!" FUCK YEAH TEST. DAT CONTINUITY. All hail Chris Kreski. Match #5: Chris Jericho/The Hardy Boyz vs. Val Venis/T & A w/ Trish Stratus This was a lot of fun for the 3 minutes it got, since this episode is laid out like 1999 Raw. Jericho is a great face in peril, and Jericho/Val ruled again. T & A were great brutal big men to Jericho, and the Hardyz hot tag and finishing run was awesome as shit. Trish hit Matt with her boot, and Albert hit the Baldo Bomb to win. Cool heel finish too! **3/4 In the back, The Rock cuts a promo saying beating Taker will get him one step closer to the WWF Title, and that's all that matters, and he'll beat that big dead ass all around the world if that's what it takes. Match #6: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Hardcore Holly [WWF Intercontinental Championship] Benoit is OOOOOOOOOOOVER. Wrestling is missing a Canadian Hero. There was Bret and then Owen and then Benoit, but Benoit never had a true successor. Edge got the same level pops, but he didn't really wrestle like a Canadian. There isn't really a Canadian worthy of the mantle though, considering the closest there is is Tyson Kidd. I like him, but c'mon. THE MATCH THOUGH! Of course, Holly is still fucking terrible. He gets injured soon, though, so i just gotta hold out another month. Anyways, they do stuff until Jericho runs in and hits Holly with a chair. **1/2 Jericho and Benoit fight to the back. FUCK YEAH. CONTINUE THE FEUD UNTIL 2007. In the back, Vince asks the Regime if it's enough for The Undertaker and Rock to destroy each other, and they all say no, and he agrees. Match #7: Bull Buchanan w/ Big Bossman vs. Steve Blackman w/ Al Snow [KOTR Qualifying Match] Fuck you. Nope. Not even writing about it, besides saying Bull wins. 1/4* Kid Rock now performs "American Badass". Half this song is him listing bands he likes and rhyming them and then yelling "HEY! HEY!" Classic Kid Rock In the back, Edge and Christian shove Joe C in a trash can. They kick it, hit it with a chair, and throw it into a brick wall. OH MY GOD, YES. FUCK YEAH EDGE & CHRISTIAN. I really wish I had watched WWF 2000-1 before booking WCW 2000-1. I don't regret any of the E&C angles or anything, but I wish I gave them more hilarious segments like this. Rock and The Undertaker come out for the main event. Vince asks them who's behind the attacks, and they both deny it, so Vince makes it a Lumberjack Match. The Faction and Bossman & Buchanan come down. Rock and Undertaker refuse, and just go beat up everyone on the floor. The numbers get the best of them though. Triple H hits them both with the belt, but BAH GAWD KING KANE! THAT'S GOTTA BE KANE HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE AND HUGS IT'S KANE. He kills everyone in the ring and Chokeslams Triple H. He holds up the WWF Title to end the show as Rock and Taker get up. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 9 2013, 08:42 PM Post #56 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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Top 10 Matches - May 2000: 1. The Rock [c] vs. Triple H, Judgment Day (May 21st) 2. Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Judgment Day (May 21st) 3. Chris Benoit [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Smackdown (May 4th) 4. The Rock vs. Chris Benoit, Raw (May 15th) 5. Chris Jericho [c] vs. Chris Benoit, Raw (May 8th) 6. Chris Benoit [c] vs. Val Venis, Raw (May 22nd) 7. Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Kurt Angle/Edge & Christian, Judgment Day (May 21st) 8. The Dudley Boyz/Too Cool vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg/T & A, Smackdown (May 25th) 9. Eddie Guerrero [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Insurrextion (May 6th) 10. The Hardy Boyz vs. Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn, Raw (May 8th) Wrestler of the Month: Chris Benoit (27 Points) Tag Team of the Month: Edge & Christian (21 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Mar 2 2013, 04:50 PM Post #57 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown June 1st, 2000 Tacoma, WA Match #1: Too Cool [c] vs. The Hardy Boyz [WWF Tag Team Championship] They have a fun back and forth spotfest with some cool stuff for 4 minutes. Lita is repeatedly seen watching in the back. Then Kane comes out with the WWF Title and kills everyone for the DQ just before Jeff wins the match. GREAT. GLAD THIS WHOLE "TAKER AND KANE KILLS EVERYONE IN THE MATCH" THING IS BACK. **1/2 Kane gets on the mic and says if H wants the title back, he should come out and take it. Triple H & Stephanie come out and H says it's his property and tells Kane to do the right thing and give it back. Kane then simply says no. He says he wants a title match. Triple H says he deserves nothing and gives Kane a match with him tonight, where if he wins, he's the #1 Contender for KOTR. Kane then has a stagehand give the belt back to H, before making fire happen. In the parking lot, Vince and DX are arriving in a limo. Taker rides up on his bike as Vince stands out the sunroof. Taker says he wants his title shot, and Vince says he can have it at KOTR if he beats X-Pac and Road Dogg tonight. In the locker room coming back, Triple H and Vince are mad at each other for booking two #1 Contender's Matches without consulting each other. In the parking lot, Shane arrives and Edge and Christian badger him about being #1 Contenders for the Tag Titles. He says everyone wants that, and books E&C vs. The Rock. If they win, they're #1 Contenders, and if Rock wins, he's #1 Contender. Back in the locker room, the Faction watches and everyone's like "OHHHHH GODDAMNIT! FUCK YOU SHANE!" Kurt Angle comes out and vows to become King of the Ring. Match #2: Kurt Angle vs. Bradshaw [KOTR Qualifying Match] Bradshaw beats the fuck out of Kurt, and Angle fails repeatedly to ground him. Angle gets a flash Angle Slam to advance. Fun 3 minutes. ** Post-match, Bradshaw hits Kurt with a Powerbomb. In the locker room, Shane arrives impressed with himself, and everyone just glares at him. He asks if he did something wrong, and we cut away. AMAZING. Match #3: Chris Benoit [c] vs. D'Lo Brown [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This RULED for the four minutes it got. They beat the shit out of each other and both take ridiculous stuff for a four minute B-show match. They work a great story of D'Lo being good enough, but too cocky and unfocused to ever really capitalize when he has Benoit almost beat. This leads to an awesome counter of the Sky High into the Crossface for the win. **3/4 There is an arm wrestling contest between Terri and The Kat, hosted of course, by Lawler. Terri wins after throwing water in Kat's eyes. Match #4: The Undertaker vs. X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ Vince McMahon & Tori Taker squash. Pac's bumping was near his 1999 levels here, so that made this not totally worthless. DX tried to bail, but the Dudley Boyz came out and threw them back in. X-Pac got Chokeslammed, and Taker wins with that. * D-Von accidentally bumps into Taker and also eats a Chokeslam. In the locker room, Vince and DX say they had it won, and Triple H glares at them. He says all he hears are excuses. TENSION! Match #5: Chris Jericho vs. Hardcore Holly This is okay for 2 minutes. Jericho does stuff and Bobcore is still awful since this is a real match. Benoit comes down with a chair, but Jericho throws Holly into the chair as Benoit's on the apron, and hits the Lionsault to win. *3/4 In the back, Shane pumps up E & C and tells them to destroy The Rock. Match #6: The Rock vs. Edge & Christian w/ Shane McMahon This was actually quite good! E&C actually looked strong, unlike DX. They kept using their speed and teamwork to take control back, but when it was one on one, Rock was in clear control. Some shenanigans took place at the end with Shane, but Rock hit the Spinebuster and People's Elbow on Edge to win and also become #1 Contender. **1/2 In the back, Shane blames it on officiating, and Vince says all they hear is excuses. Match #7: Crash Holly vs. Prince Albert w/ Trish Stratus [KOTR Qualifying Match] This was a minute but IT FUCKING RULED. Albert hurled Crash around and did an awesome throw out of the corner and an amazing Giant Swing. Crash got a sunset flip out of a Powerbomb for the upset. ** Post-match, Albert lays out Crash with the Baldo Bomb. In the back, Triple H bitches out Vince and Shane for making there be two #1 Contenders somehow, and tells them both to stay in the back before they mess it up even more, and says at least he can beat Kane. On HeAT, there are KOTR Qualifiers in Chyna vs. Godfather and Val vs. Al Snow. Val and Chyna go on to win, so there's that. Before the main event, Kane announces the new referee instead of Tim White, the returning Earl Hebner! Great, the awful terrible referee gets an entrance. It's shit like this that drove Tim White to suicide. Match #8: Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Kane Another poor Triple H as Flair performance, although that might just get chalked up to this being one of the worst prolonged pairings in WWF/E history. This was at least short at some four minutes. Kane bumps him around all match with brief pockets of Kane offense. H tries to use a chair, but Hebner takes it from him, and Kane hits the Chokeslam to win. Oh well. *3/4 Kane holds up the WWF Title over Triple H, and Cole has a seizure about there being three #1 Contenders. |
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| Big Tuna | Mar 2 2013, 05:51 PM Post #58 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War June 5th, 2000 Rochester, NY In the back, Cole tries to interview Vince McMahon, and he says Triple H's ego got them 3 #1 Contenders, and if people would just listen to him, the boss, around here, they would not have these problems. Triple H & Stephanie come out to open the show. He painfully recaps all of the events of Smackdown despite the promo to open the show before the credits, but then makes the semi-valid point of there being three #1 Contenders proves the WWF Title is more prestigious than ever, making him the best champion ever. He says of all the big egos in the WWF, the biggest one belongs to Vince McMahon. Vince comes out now, and says he's still in charge. They have words, and Vince takes off his jacket to fight. Shane comes out and says they both have huge egos and they both punch him. They all get into it, until Stephanie slaps each of them. The Rock then comes onto the stage and says this is a huge pile of shit, and says he wants his title shot tonight. JR yells that that's like a WrestleMania level match. WELL YEAH. WOULD'VE BEEN ONE TOO IF YOU FUCKING BOOKED IT RIGHT. He begins to walk down, but Kane comes out now. So does Taker, and they all want a title shot tonight. Vince books a Rock/Kane/Taker three-way, with the winner facing Triple H for the WWF Title in the main event tonight. On HeAT, Val Venis def. Al Snow to advance in KOTR, and has signed Trish as his manager full-time. Match #1: Rikishi/Too Cool vs. Val Venis/T & A w/ Trish Stratus SUP TRISH. This was pretty fun. Albert was awesome here, and S2H fucked up nothing. Everyone else was solid as usual, and the crowd was super hot for the tag champions. Sexay blocked a shot with Trish's boot at the end and hit Test with it. She then distracted the ref, and Val hit Sexay with a tag title belt to get the win. **1/2 Post-match, the faces lay them all out, and Trish eats a Stink Face. In the back, Vince, H, and Shane make up and hug. Crash Holly tries to attack Brisco, but they slam the door in his face. Match #2: Chris Benoit vs. Road Dogg w/ X-Pac & Tori [KOTR Qualifier] This was fun for the 2 minutes it went. Benoit beats the fuck out of Road Dogg, and X-Pac too, just because he can and because it's 2000, so fuck X-Pac. X-Pac gets involved, and The Dudley Boyz run down to take him out. Dogg is distracted, and Benoit gets a Bridging German to win. ** The Dudz set up a table and almost put Tori through, but DX pulls her away and they escape. In the back, Crash Holly sees Patterson and Brisco talking about the Hardcore Title behind a curtain. He bursts through but accidentally hits Patterson and for some reason, he runs away. In the back, Kane says that when it comes to the WWF Title, he has no brother. Which is why he ended up not inviting him to Thanksgiving. Crash Holly comes down and calls out Brisco to fight him for his title. Patterson comes down with him and plugs the Brisco Bros. Body Shop on the mic. Match #3: Gerald Brisco [c] w/ Pat Patterson vs. Crash Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] Crash beats up Brisco with weapons, and Pat comes in WITH THE SHIT-STAINED UNDERWEAR THAT'S GOTTA SMELL LIKE MOLDY FRUIT GOOD GOD KING THE STENCH IS HORRIBLE. FUCK YEAH. He puts it over Brisco's face, but Brisco kicks a stop sign into Crash's head. They both cover and Brisco retains. I don't even know. *1/2? Sure. In the back, The Undertaker agrees with Kane's sentiments and spits tobacco. Triple H comes down to do commentary on the three way. Match #4: The Rock vs. The Undertaker vs. Kane This is generally okay for a three way restrained 4 minute brawl. H attacks Taker early on, so Taker punches him out on the floor. H then hits Taker with a chair on the apron. Kane reaches for H, so he also hits him with a chair, and Kane falls into the Rock Bottom, and Rock gets the title match. Best possible choice. **1/4 Triple H then hits Rock with the chair too. On HeAT, Chyna def. Godather in a KOTR Qualifier when Eddie interfered. Match #5: Eddie Guerrero/Chyna vs. Dean Malenko/The Godfather w/ Hos This uh...wow. This actually ruled for 3 minutes. Dean and Eddie worked some insane counters and sequences here, and the two talentless fucks they had as partners mostly just sat back. If they weren't, Eddie or Dean was always opposite them to guide them through. Chyna yelled at Eddie for being distracted by the hos in awesome foreshadowing, but then Eddie countered a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker into an inside cradle to win. **1/2 Post-match, Eddie and Chyna make up and leave together. Match #6: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq [KOTR Qualifier] They beat each other up, and Holly is still fucking awful. He advances with the Hollycaust. 3/4* In the back, Edge, Christian, and Kurt talk. Kurt says if they beat Jericho and the Dudleyz, they'll have defended the honor of Stephanie, and that might help them get tag title shots. Edge and Christian high five. Match #7: Chris Jericho/The Dudley Boyz vs. Kurt Angle/Edge & Christian This was pretty awesome. Team ECK had awesome teamwork on Jericho when Y2J was isolate for most of the match, and Bubba's hot tag was great. The crowd was also super hot, and the finishing run was a lot of fun. Angle hit Bubba with the Angle Slam to win. I want this to get more than just four minutes. **3/4 Post-match, Jericho puts Angle in the Walls, and Bubba sets up a table. They put it in the ring, and Angle eats a 3D through the table. Welp, that plan failed. Match #8: The Hardy Boyz vs. Big Bossman/Bull Buchanan Lita is again watching in the back. This is the case for the Hardyz as the team of the year, as they carry Buchanan and an unmotivated BBM to their first actively above average match so far in under 3 minutes. Matt sells Bull's power offense like hell, and Jeff's hot tag was full of fire, etc. as usual. They were, however, clearly holding back a ton that they could have done here. This is the first Buchanan match where I've ever wanted a rematch. Jeff won with a Swanton on Bull after some miscommuncation. **1/4 Post-match, Buchanan and BBM yell at each other. Bull shoves BBM into the corner, so Bossman hits him with the nightstick from behind. FUCK YOU BULL. In the back, Triple H tells all of the Faction/Regime/FacGime to stay in the back because he can do this on his own. In the back, Cole talks to H and Stephanie. Cole informs Triple H that there's a special guest referee in H/Rock, and it's Earl Hebner. NO. FUCK YOU. HE IS NOT A SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE. HIS JOB TITLE IS REFEREE. Cole then asks Stephanie why she's never defended the Women's Title, and Stephanie says she doesn't have to. Great, I hope you hold the title forever, just because there's no women's wrestling. Hoo fucking ray. Ivory and Jackie protest, and Stephanie makes a #1 Contender's women battle royal on SD, and she'll fight the winner. Match #9: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. The Rock [WWF Championship] This started slow, and they had their usual fun WWE Style brawl main event for 8 minutes or so. Good shit as usual. They managed to change up a lot of the usual spots and once H took over on the floor, the match was pretty awesome. Great nearfalls, awesome crowd reaction, great Rock fire and energy, etc. Hebner got knocked down, and the Faction came down. They got involved and beat down Rock, and Taker and Kane ran down. They killed everyone, and H hit Taker with a chair from behind. Rock hit H with the chair, but Taker got up and saw Rock with it, so he Chokeslammed Rock and left. Triple H covered for the win. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Mar 3 2013, 04:12 PM Post #59 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Smackdown June 8th, 2000 Buffalo, NY Match #1: Chris Jericho vs. Test w/ Trish Stratus [KOTR Qualifying Match] This is not bad, mostly. Aside from Test being mediocre and fucking up a few minor times. Test accidentally hit Trish on the apron, and Jericho hit the Bulldog and Lionsault to advance. Good big vs. small things happened here. Jericho gets the best out of the lug for four minutes. **1/4 The McMahon-Helmsley Faction/Regime/FacGime/Elite Squad comes out as a whole, apart from Vince. Green and black balloons fall from the ceiling to celebrate no #1 Contenders currently existing. H cuts an awful promo for 5 minutes recapping the events of Raw, because it's a running theme that he thinks everyone is amnesiac, before getting to the goddamn point. H thanks everyone in the ring and puts them all over individually, and kills more time on this. They all hug, and The Rock comes out to save the world. Rock says he wants revenge and wants anybody in the Faction tonight. Triple H shows footage of Taker costing Rock the title the last two times, and Undertaker comes out to the ring on his bike. He feigns going for Rock, and goes after the Regime instead. Rock comes down to help, and Taker accidentally hits Rock with a chair, before moving on to also hit Triple H. Taker then drives off because he doesn't give a shit. In the back, Rock looks for Taker, but runs into Kane. He asks where Taker is, and Kane stares at him. Rock asks again, and Kane says is he's anxious for a beating, he can do it instead. Rock piefaces him, and they go at it. Referees rush in, and they pull apart Rock and Kane. I enjoy this. Match #2: Too Cool [c] vs. Dean Malenko/The Godfather w/ Hos [WWF Tag Team Championship] This was actually very fun. Godfather was much better than usual working as a heel with Dean. He still wasn't good, but average is better than being a huge pile of shit like usual. The champions hit the Hip Hop Drop on Dean to retain. **1/2 Godfather is briefly annoyed by the girls on the floor celebrating, despite his loss. Love the foreshadowing. Even if it's of something horrible. In the back, the Regime celebrates. Shane says they can end this for good, and Pac and Dogg volunteer DX for a six man. Triple H doesn't look pleased, but everyone else is into it, and Shane makes the match. Match #3: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Jeff Hardy [WWF Intercontinental Championship] This ruled for 5 minutes. Jeff continues to take a great beating and have a ton of energy and fire in his comebacks. Benoit of course beat the piss out of him, and made all of Jeff's high flying offense look great and made Jeff look awesome on the comeback. Benoit got his foot on the ropes after the Swanton Bomb, and then managed to get a series of reversals into the Crossface, and Jeff tapped. *** Post-match, Benoit shakes Jeff's hand and hits him with the title. Cole acts like Benoit just became a dick, when he's been a heel for 4 months. Kurt Angle, Edge, and Christian come out, and Kurt cuts an awesome promo on sportsmanship and how people from Buffalo wouldn't know what it is when all they have is the Bills. It's true! "My good looking Canadian friends here lost the titles after Christian was hit in the genitals by a midget with a hockey stick." is among the all time best pro wrestling sentences. Match #4: Kurt Angle/Edge & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz Under 2 minutes, goddamnit. They do fun things, until Edge accidentally hits Kurt with the Spear. Christian eats a 3D to lose. *3/4 In the back, Taker says he heard Kane was in the back watching while he and Rock took on DX. Kane says not to worry, because he has his back in the 6 man. Sup bro? Nm bro. U? Stephanie comes down and introduces Tori as the guest referee for the women's #1 Contender's battle royal. Match #5: Women's Battle Royal The people involved are The Kat, Terri, Ivory, Jackie, and Lita. This sucks. Lita wins with a Moonsault on Ivory. 1/4* Stephanie gets up, and Tori lays out Lita with an Alley-Oop. Stephanie demands the bell is rung. Match #6: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley [c] vs. Lita [WWF Women's Championship] She covers Lita immediately and retains. 45/Poop Back from break, Lita says she's mad because this is not a game to her, and she says she will be the Women's Champion Match #7: Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero w/ Chyna [KOTR Qualifying Match] Solid 4 minutes. Eddie and Matt both bump around big for each other, and Eddie makes Matt look awesome as a singles wrestler, much as Benoit did earlier on. A lot of cool counters and spots, and Eddie wins after a Flying Huracanrana. **1/2 In the back, Trish lectures Val on making Rikishi pay. He says they only have one thing in common, and that's wanting gold around his waist. Match #8: Val Venis w/ Trish Stratus vs. Rikishi Val has new techno music. HORRIBLE. This is awesome for 90 seconds, as both men bump around huge and make each other's offense all look totally brutal and devastating and are totally cool with just punching each other full force in the face. Trish saves Val from the Stink Face by throwing powder in Kishi's face to blind him for the DQ. This should have gone way longer, but whatever, they have longer matches this summer. ** Val beats the shit out of a blinded Rikishi on the floor, and hurls the steps into his face. Rikishi is busted open and Val continues the attack in the ring, and Cole actually does a good job putting over Val's new attitude by saying that nobody has done this to Rikishi in 2000. Val also gets the ring bell in, and hits Rikishi with it. Val and Trish celebrate up the ramp, and referees help Rikishi to the back. He throws them off though, and he and Val fight on the stage and this angle is awesome. Rikishi hits Val with a Legdrop on the stage. Val rolls down to the floor, and RIKISHI HITS A FUCKING SPLASH OFF THE STAGE TO VAL ON THE FLOOR. THEY MADE THIS FEUD AMAZING IN 5 MINUTES. THIS WAS SO FUCKING GREAT. On HeAT, there are two more KOTR Qualifiers in D-Von vs. Saturn and Bubba vs. Bossman. In the parking lot, Kevin Kelly asks Benoit why he did what he did. Benoit says he owes no explanations for anything he's done or will do. Seems fair enough, let's put him back on DVDs now so we can stop pretending these are actually the best of Chris Jericho and Edge and Smackdown DVDs that get put out. Match #9: The Rock/The Undertaker/Kane vs. Triple H/X-Pac/Road Dogg w/ The McMahon-Helmsley Faction Enjoyable 8 minutes. The crowd is super duper hot, and the opening run of the faces killing DX ruled. The control segment on Rock with a lot of quality Rock vs. X-Pac action and Rock being FIP as usual also ruled. Taker then got in, and he and Kane killed everyone. Taker hit X-Pac with a Chokeslam for the win. **1/2 DX attacks Taker, and Rock and Kane come back in to clean house. Shane gets a chair, but Rock takes it. Shane ducks a chair shot and Rock hits Kane! The FacGime bails, and Rock then hits Taker with the chair! He chases the heels up the ramp to the back, and Taker gets up in the ring, pissed off. |
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| Big Tuna | Mar 9 2013, 02:58 PM Post #60 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWF World Champion: Triple H, Since 5/21/2000 WWF Intercontinental Champion: Chris Benoit, Since 5/8/2000 WWF Tag Team Champions: Edge & Christian, Since 4/2/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS WWF European Champion: Eddie Guerrero, Since 4/3/2000 WWF Hardcore Champion: Gerald Brisco, Since 5/18/2000 WWF Light Heavyweight Champion: Dean Malenko, Since 4/27/2000 WWF Women's Champion: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, Since 3/30/2000 WWF Raw is War June 12th, 2000 St. Louis, MO The Rock comes down to open the show, and gets on the mic. He says to anyone who wants to kick his ass between The Undertaker, Kane, D-Generation X, The McMahons, maybe even Kaientai, to JUST. BRING. IT. Kane comes out first, and they try to fight, but The Undertaker comes out now on his bike. They try to fight too, but Linda McMahon comes out and gets on the mic. She points out that this is not how to beat the Regime, and tells them to stay as a unit until King of the Ring. Vince McMahon, Shane, Stephanie, and Triple H then come onto the stage. Vince calls her a meddlesome shrew of a wife. HNGH. Linda books Rock/Taker/Kane vs. H/Vince/Shane for KOTR and Vince immediately accepts so he won't look like a bitch in front of her and yells at Linda for trying to embarrass him and says he doesn't care what she books because he's Vince McMahon and he wins everything. She then books Triple H vs. an opponent of her choosing for the WWF Title tonight, and Vince immediately accepts that too. Triple H is pissed and wants to hit Vince, but Stephanie stops him. I love this so much. Linda also books Stephanie vs. Lita for the Women's Title, and if anybody from the Faction interferes, Stephanie will be stripped of the title. Also, Vince/Shane vs. The Dudley Boyz in a tables match. Match #1: X-Pac w/ Road Dogg & Tori vs. Dean Malenko w/ Hos [KOTR Qualifying Match] This is fun for the under 2 minutes it lasts. Tori distracts the ref, and Road Dogg punches Dean FROM THE APRON and X-Pac hits the X-Factor to win. *3/4 In the back, Stephanie asks Triple H for advice on her match since he's the best and all, and he says he doesn't know and that he has other stuff to worry about than her stupid fake title, so she storms off. Match #2: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley [c] vs. Lita [WWF Women's Championship] Stephanie fakes a knee injury on the floor, and the ref checks on her. Kurt Angle then runs in and hits the Angle Slam on Lita. Stephanie gets in and covers to retain. AMAZING. 1/4* Kurt and Stephanie celebrate, and Triple H watches in the back. They have a long-ish hug, and Triple H shakes his head and is mad. Shane then runs in and hands Triple H a bat, and tells him to come with him. In the back, the men of the Faction barge into Kane's locker room and beat the shit out of him. Triple H in particular hits a brutal looking and sounding shot to the face with the bat, but that probably had to do with the bat hitting the hard mask. They rip off his mask and Patterson takes a picture. Back from break, Vince talks in the Regime dressing room, and says they'll show the pictures to the world if Kane doesn't do what they want, and tonight that's Rock vs. Kane in a No DQ match. Match #3: Too Cool [c] vs. T & A w/ Trish Stratus [WWF Tag Team Championship] This is pretty fun for 2-3 minutes. Albert is a beast as usual, and everyone else is solid. S2H tries The Worm on Test, but Val Venis runs in and clotheslines him for the DQ. ** Val hits them both with the ring bell after Trish passes it in, and T & A beats them down. Rikishi comes down for the save and cleans house. He tries the Stink Face on Trish, but they pull her to safety. Match #4: The Dudley Boyz vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon [Tables Match] This is fun, in terms of your McMahon involved shortcut filled fun brawls. Didn't need 5 minutes, but oh well. They kill the McMahons for a few minutes and it strikes me how whenever an act got close to being super over, they put them against the McMahons to finish the job. Rikishi, Jericho, now the Dudz. They're about to end it, but DX runs down. D-Von is Powerbombed through a table by Pac and Dogg for the win, and then Tori splashes Bubba off the top onto one. It doesn't break, but the ref rings the bell anyways, since that should be the finish. LOL. **1/4 They do it again, and this time the table breaks. In the parking lot, H and the stooges tell Bull Buchanan that Taker said he wouldn't fight Bull because he was out of his league. So in retaliation, Buchanan drives off on Taker's bike. Taker sees it, and the three bail. Taker steals a car and chases Buchanan away, getting him out of the building for Rock/Kane. The Stooges are walking now, and Crash Holly attacks them from behind. He beats Pat up, but Brisco manages to run away. He chases Brisco to the ring, and a match breaks out. Match #5: Gerald Brisco [c] vs. Crash Holly [WWF Hardcore Championship] They do stuff, and Patterson comes out. He accidentally hits Brisco with a trash can, and Crash covers to regain his title. FUCK YEAH! * Patterson and Brisco argue about what happen, but end up shaking hands and hugging. Patterson gives Brisco the suck it chop being his back. In the parking lot, Crash leaves the arena, and says he has just the thing to make sure he never loses the belt again. H and Stephanie come down, and they wait for his opponent. AND IT'S CHRIS JERICHO! YEAH! REMATCH! Match #6: Triple H [c] w/ Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley vs. Chris Jericho [WWF Championship] This is great again. Not the constant action type of match like the April 17th fake title switch, but it's eight minutes with two great wrestlers. They have a hot start, slow it down in the middle, and bring it back up for the end. Both men move around and bump and sell great and all that fine stuff, and Jericho's 2000-1 level of babyface fire on the comeback is a thing of beauty. A ref bump happens and Jericho has a visual win with the Walls. Stephanie interferes and Jericho goes after her and puts the Walls on, but Triple H hits him with the title. He then hits the Pedigree and the ref crawls over to count the three. ***1/4 In the locker room, Kane throws stuff. Mach #7: Chris Benoit [c] vs. Matt Hardy [WWF Intercontinental Championship] JR's started putting Benoit over as the most defending IC Champion ever, which is a cool variation on the "Best Champion Ever" push. It's also really cool how with most top heels, the groundwork is being laid to inevitably make them hugely over babyfaces, since they always fight hard and win clean except against top guys. It fucking figures that Benoit would put forth the first great Matt Hardy TV singles match. hey did some awesome back and forth shit with Benoit owning Matt on the mat and in strikes, so the other Hardy threw out his craziest shit to hang with Benoit, specifically a straight up Suplex off the apron to the floor. Not Matt doing the usual and suplexing Benoit from the ring to the floor, while standing on the apron, but fucking falling off with him. Matt also starts to show promise of his future amazing punches. Benoit countered the Twist of Fate into the Crossface to retain. ***1/4 He keeps the hold on until Jeff runs down, and he lets go. He pretends to leave, but gets back in and then nails Jeff with the IC Title. In the back, Christian and Edge walk. Christian says his KOTR match with Jeff is in the bag, and that Edge coming down with him would be immoral and unfair. Edge nods, and they both go to the ring anyways. I love everything. Match #8: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian [KOTR Qualifying Match] This is like 90 seconds, but it's really fun. Christian throws out big high impact moves at a dazed Jeff. Edge and Matt brawl on the floor. Christian gets too cocky and tries to float over after a Superplex, but Jeff catches him with an inside cradle to advance. *3/4 The McMahon-Helmsley Faction/Regime/FacGime/Night Stalkers comes down to watch the main event. Match #9: The Rock vs. Kane [No Disqualification Match] This is not a pairing with natural chemistry, so at least they only got 4 minutes. They brawl and do things of that nature. GTV~, which is still around I guess, shows Patterson and Brisco opening the envelope with the pic of Kane's face, but it didn't develop right, and they leave. Kane and Rock then stop fighting and go after the FacGime, ending the match. ** The heels try to bail up the ramp but THE UNDERTAKER IS BACK TO KILL PEOPLE. HE'S SPOILIN FOR A FIGHT~. All three beat up the FacGime, and the Dudleyz come down and put a table up in the ring before brawling away with X-Pac and Road Dogg. Triple H eventually is stuck in the ring with the three contenders, and they pinball him around. He eats a Double Chokeslam through the table to end the show. |
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6:53 PM Jul 10