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Simon Watches ECW - 1996
Topic Started: Apr 13 2013, 09:33 PM (8,217 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: 2 Cold Scorpio, Since 1/5/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

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ECW Hostile City Showdown 1996
April 20th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


To open the show, Joey Styles brings out The Gangstas for an interview, AND THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING OVER. The only other faces I've seen be THIS over so far are Sabu and late 1995 Bubba Ray Dudley. New Jack says he's been too worried about staying out of jail and he mighta gone soft, but he ain't give a shit no more, and he'll kill a motherfucker if he has to. They call out The Eliminators, and they have another fantastic brawl that has to be broken up by the locker room.

Match #1: Super Nova vs. El Puerto Ricano
This was a fun 2 minutes before The Eliminators came out and killed them both. Nova had it coming for his horrible outfit.
*1/4

They call out The Gangstas, and have a fantastic pull-apart brawl again, but the locker room doesn't get there until the song ends, thank god. As they get pulled apart, JT Smith and Little Guido try to make peace and JT says The Eliminators are paisans and The Gangstas are Sicilian just like him. He tries to sing again, but D-Von Dudley comes out and hits Guido with a chair and chases JT to the back. They break free and the two teams fight to the back and Hack Myers clears the ring. Okay then.

It is supposed to be The Pitbulls vs. Bubba Ray Dudley and Dances With Dudley, and The Dudley family comes out. Bubba gets a boner looking at Francine, which is fair. He introduces himself and D-Von comes out to slap him around and says he told him to cut this bullshit out and makes him say his fucking name without stuttering and yells at the fans to stop encouraging him. He says these two morons are going to learn three things. Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and thou shalt not fuck with the Dudleys, and they hit them and the bell rings!

Match #2: The Pitbulls vs. The Dudley Boyz
Francine, Sign Guy Dudley, and DW Dudley are on the floor. This wasn't great, but the best possible PE match. Aimless brawling, but it looked good and they did interesting things with their time, and kept it at under 10 minutes. Bubba gets hit with the Superbomb, but D-Von kills the referee with a chair shot to end the match.
*3/4

D-Von goes after Francine too, but The Pitbulls save, so he leaves.

Match #3: Taz w/ Team Taz vs. Devon Storm
Joey says Storm was recently in WCW and wants to prove himself in ECW, and ECW accepted since they're running out of opponents for Taz. This is an awesome Taz showcase. Storm was everywhere, he's a solid hand to job. The future Crowbar has some nice stuff in between bouts of Taz murdering him. Awesome finish as TAZ HURLS HIM OVER THE TOP WITH A BELLY TO BELLY AND HIS LEGS CLIPS THE EDGE AND HE BOUNCES ONTO THE FLOOR. HE'S DEAD AND THAT'S A COUNT OUT.
**

Post-match, Taz says there's nothing he loves to destroy more than a Sabu wannabe. He tells him to get to the gym, pay his dues, and stop trying to be somebody he ain't. He says at least he showed up though, unlike the king, and he then drops down to do the Sabu pose.

Match #4: Axl Rotten vs. Little Guido w/ JT Smith
This happened. Guido made it something not horrible with his huge bumping, but it's still Axl working a normal match when he's not good at that. JT Smith tries to interfere, but fucks it up every time. Axl wins with a Dominator.
**

Axl leaves and JT helps Guido up and sings "That's A'More"

Match #5: The Sandman/2 Cold Scorpio w/ Missy Hyatt vs. The Bruise Brothers
This is such a weird fucking match. The best part is the Harris Brothers coming out to "War Pigs". I wish some other act did that. Scorp basically wrestles by himself against both until he gets hit with the H Bomb. Then they whip Sandman with a belt and Missy cheers them on because she gets off on it. It doesn't go for four minutes though, Biggie. Watch the matches you review. It's like a minute, Scorp saves and it breaks down again and hey, whatever. Scorpio moonsaults onto one of them to win. Not outright terrible, and for the Harris Bros., it's a miracle, but not good by any means.
**

In the back, Brian Lee says he's dedicated his life to Raven, and that means Tommy Dreamer is his.

Match #6: Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee
This is the best possible match they could have. It's all brawling, it's just under 7 minutes, and that means they don't have to wrestle or go long. But, y'know, it's still Brian Lee and Tommy Dreamer, so you'll get hilariously bad strikes and some sloppiness, including a hilariously bad Crossbody dive off the stage by Tommy. Some nasty weapon shots and cool spot ideas though. Bruise Brothers interfere, and they smash a cinder block over Tommy's dick with a chair, and Brian covers to win.
**1/4

Match #7: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

And so it begins. They do some stuff early on that is clearly from Sabu/Mikey on 4/13, but when it picks up, they change it up enough that it's unique and also have a few things Sabu does build off of what failed in that match, as well as RVD avoiding things Sabu did there. A level of psychology I would NEVER have expected, and was probably accidental. RVD grabs random leg holds to kill time and then doesn't go back to it at all, but Sabu sells it a bit. They then start to blatantly take stuff from Sabu/Mikey, but it merely rubs in how inferior RVD is to Mikey. They also fail to actually sell Sabu's Ace position here, as RVD makes no motion or facial sell of his trouble putting Sabu away, so it's just HEY SOME MOVES. DIDN'T WORK? COOL. MORE STUFF. And his stuff isn't super impressive yet either. Sabu wins with the Triple Jump Moonsault and Joey yells that it may have been the best match either man has had. FUCK YOU.
**1/2

Sabu offers a handshake, but RVD blows him off and leaves.

Raven comes out for the main event with Stevie and Meanie. They do their amazing shtick, and Kimona comes out with Shane Douglas for the big announcement. Shane says this announcement she has is going to hurt Raven, but it's going to hurt Tommy Dreamer maybe even more, and says the whole time Beulah was cheating on Raven with Tommy, SHE WAS ALSO CHEATING ON TOMMY! Tommy rushes out to ringside, and he's fine from the cinder block now, and demands to know who it is. Shane asks why men like the let women run their lives, and Tommy yells to get to the fucking point, and he gets in the ring and threatens him too. Shane says if Tommy can't take the truth, he might not be so hardcore after all. He says they traveled together drinking beers and Tommy complained that Beulah won't show him the test and won't take the test (which is it?), and the reason is, is that she WAS NEVER PREGNANT BAH GAWD! TOMMY DEMANDS TO KNOW WHO HE IS , AND SHANE SAYS IT'S NOT A HE.

KIMONA SAYS IT'S HER!

BEULAH COMES DOWN AND MAKES OUT WITH KIMONA ON THE MAT, UNTIL TOMMY PULLS THEM UP AND SEPARATES THEM! Shane asks what he has to say, and he utters his career defining line, "I'LL TAKE 'EM BOTH, I'M HARDCORE!" Tommy makes out with each of them, and then both. Tommy leaves with both and makes a jerking off motion to the crowd, and fair enough. Raven totally loses his shit, and freaks out, at Shane and Tommy ruining his life (again).

Match #8: Raven [c] w/ Stevie Richards & The Blue Meanie vs. Shane Douglas [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Raven does a great job being dejected and gets dominated for the first 2/3rds of this. Shane does a solid job as babyface again, breaking out a nice chaotic dive and beating Raven everywhere. They get back to ringside finally, and Tommy Dreamer cuts off Brian Lee interference but it distracts the ref once Shane hits the Belly to Belly! Shane argues with Tommy, AND HITS HIM WITH THE BELLY TO BELLY TOO. ASSHOLE. They then get into a pull-apart brawl, because FUCK SELLING THE GUY'S FINISH, RIGHT? ECW. MID-MATCH ANGLES. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. Shane works on the ankle and takes off the boot, but a Harris comes from under the ring. Shane takes him out, but Raven hits Shane with the loaded orthopedic boot to win. I liked this in theory, not so much in execution.
**3/4

Post-match, Joey Styles gets in to interview Shane Douglas. He asks what it will take to beat Raven, and then takes time out to shit on Shawn Michaels like the class act he is, and says that is the ONLY belt that means a god damned thing and says no other belt means shit. AND 2 COLD SCORPIO COMES OUT! FUCK YEAH! He says he doesn't give a FUCK about him not being able to win the ECW World Title, but this is a belt he's worked hard to make mean something. He says this is the belt that matters, and if he wants it, he can come and get it. Shane says that belt means nothing to him and he wants the World Title, and he's a great champion, but he doesn't want his belt. Scorpio calls him a coward, and Douglas backs off, but then tries a cheap shot. They fight, and Shane hits the Belly to Belly! Sandman comes out to save, but he also gets it. Shane canes the shit out of both of them, and breaks the cane on Sandman's face! He hits Scorpio with a Piledriver on the belt, and says the belt's there if he wants it.
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Big Evil
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On TBS. Very Funny.

Shut the fuck up
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Big Evil
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On TBS. Very Funny.

I didn't mean literally. Baby.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: 2 Cold Scorpio, Since 1/5/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
April 23rd, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


A video airs to hype up Shane/Raven, set to "Bulls on Parade".

The two awesome Eliminators/Gangstas brawls, with the 2 minute match in between, air to open the HCS coverage.

Footage airs of the FBI at Geno's and Guido is complaining about the service and says this cheesesteak better be good. He says it's alright, and JT is in disbelief. Guido says there's something missing and he says it needs a cannoli. JT says he'll get them killed and Guido then tells everyone this is the best food he's ever had. They walk away and JT says he needs to work on his temper.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee airs

A weird music video of The Sandman & Missy Hyatt airs to "Love is Strong" by The Rolling Stones.

ECW ARENA RETURN - MAY 11TH:
-2 COLD SCORPIO VS. SHANE DOUGLAS FOR THE TV TITLE
-SABU VS. RVD IN A RESPECT MATCH

The show ends with the entrances for the Raven/Douglas title match, followed by the big reveal. Beulah comes out and it cuts to a "TO BE CONTINUED...." sign.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: 2 Cold Scorpio, Since 1/5/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996


ECW Hardcore TV
April 30th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


The show begins with Tommy taking them both, as he is hardcore, and after the credits, the title match airs.

ADDED TO MAY 11TH:
-TOMMY DREAMER/ANY TAG TEAM HE WANTS VS. BRIAN LEE/ANY TAG TEAM HE WANTS
-FBI VS. AXL/SHAH

The Scorpio/Douglas angle now airs.

In the back, The Eliminators talk. Saturn says they've got each other's backs, and that means that no two pieces of street trash who don't even like each other will get their titles. He turns his belt over, AND THERE'S AN X OVER IT IN SPRAYPAINT LIKE THE GANGSTAS SIGN. OH FUCK. Kronus says he was in the shower and Saturn just got back. Saturn says if they want games, he hasn't played in a while. Kronus jumps up and down like a retard and says he likes games.

Axl vs. Guido airs.

Then Taz vs. Devon Storm.

PULP FICTION:
-Taz says Devon Storm should have prepared to fight him, but he took Sabu's ass kicking
-Tommy Dreamer is with Beulah and Kimona, and a cat. He says he guesses Raven doesn't have no, and then the camera zooms in on the cat. HA. PUSSY.
-The Gangstas says now The Eliminators can't help but think of them now whenever they look at the belts
-Blue Meanie sings "Sexy Boy" and dances
-Bill Alfonso says he ain't no used car salesman, and he's a superstar
-The Eliminators jump The Gangstas as they leave the building
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: 2 Cold Scorpio, Since 1/5/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
May 7th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


The Pitbulls vs. The Dudley Boyz opens up the show.

The weird Sandman/Missy video airs again.

RVD vs. Sabu airs in full.

Joey Styles interrupts Pulp Fiction to give a live update from Long Island and says The Eliminators came here today to interrupt a training session between Tommy Dreamer and his partners, The Pitbulls. He says The Pitbulls have been injured and cannot compete as Dreamer's partners this Saturday as a result. Joey says it will be Brian Lee and the Eliminators though, AND SATURN AND KRONUS WALK AROUND THE CORNER WITH BLOODY KNUCKLES! Saturn calmly tells him to shut the fuck up, and he says this is business, and they were just innocent bystanders. Saturn accidentally blows the surprise by saying The Gangstas will be with Tommy and they'll beat some respect into them.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: 2 Cold Scorpio, Since 1/5/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

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ECW A Matter of Respect
May 11th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


The tape cuts into a EPR vs. Damien 666 match as Joey talks about how both men are emulating Sabu, and in 20 seconds, Sabu comes out and he dives onto them on the floor. The ref throws it out, and Sabu puts them both on the table, before jumping off the top to drive them through it.

Match #1: The Dudley Boyz vs. Damien Kane/Devon Storm
The Dudleys and Lady Alexandra are at ringside. This is a Dudleys showcase in theory, as Joey buries Devon Storm and Damien Kane is THE WORST, but it's far too even and it's like 8 minutes long. The jobbers cannot fill that time at all, so this is kind of awkward at points. D-Von goes nuts with a chair again, and Bubba tries to get him to just win, but he then hits Bubba with the chair! D-Von hits the referee again too, and that ends the match with a DQ.
*1/2

The other Dudleys try and keep peace between D-Von and Bubba.

Match #2: JT Smith/Little Gudio vs. Axl Rotten/Hack Myers
Fun undercard affair. JT and Guido take huge bumps to make the control stuff by the opposition look good, and they have some wonderful heel stooging too. However, this is listed as 11 minutes and clipped to three. Fuck this company, I kinda wanted to see this. Guido gets a pin holding JT's arms from the floor to steal the win.
*1/2

Before the match, Stevie and Meanie mock Shawn Michaels' weird new stripping routine by taking their pants off. At least they didn't show their cocks.

Match #3: Raven [c] vs. The Sandman vs. Pitbull #2 [ECW World Heavyweight Championship - Three Way Dance]
All the otheres are on the floor - Stevie, Meanie, Missy, Scorp, Francine and #1. There's some random girl with the Nest, but she is unnamed. This was retardedly great, I did not expect it at all. The first 10 minutes are this wild out of control fight everywhere. Everybody's hurling their bodies around, inventive weapon ideas, nothing stupid, etc. Great working around the power of #2. Breaks down with a ref bump, but nothing outright awful. Sandman is Superbombed after hurting his knee, but Raven hits #2 with the loaded boot and eliminates him! Sandman goes wild with nearfalls, and this time, the interference is kept to one Steviekick, and this is really the best possible dog and pony show for Raven. It has time to develop without jumping into the shortcuts, and they are limited, and nothing is ridiculous. Sandman brings the railing in for offense, BUT HIS KNEE GIVES OUT WHEN HE TRIES A SUPLEX ON IT! RAVEN HITS THE EVENFLOW ON THE RAILING TO WIN!
***1/4

Post-match, Meanie gets caught by the recovered Pitbulls when they come back out. Meanie tries to run back in, but Sandman canes him, and Meanie eats the Superbomb. The Pitbulls offer Sandman a beer as a peace offering. It's a Miller Lite and Sandman says no and chucks it into the crowd! The Pitbulls are sad, so they get him a Budweiser instead and Sandman has this shit eating grin and they celebrate together and drink, and they are friends now. Sandman then commands Missy to make out with #2 and she does. Poor Pitbull #2. Francine runs out and CAT FIGHT FOR NO REASON until their men pull them apart. Sandman feels disrespected by this and everyone leaves. That was weird.

Match #4: Chris Jericho vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Really energetic spotfest. Not everything was clean, but nothing was stuoid and nothing was no-sold in an infuriating manner. They did some cool things, and yeah. Jericho wins with a Butterfly Superplex.
**3/4

They shake hands and hug, and Joey Styles jerks off and yells that it's a matter of respect. HEY THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SHOW.

Match #5: 2 Cold Scorpio [c] vs. Shane Douglas [ECW Television Championship]
They have some really wonderful matwork to begin this, like up there with Eddie/Dean as the best matwork in ECW history. It's all Scorpio one-upping and getting the best of Shane, with all different counters and holds. Shane gets visibly pissed and has to break out old stuff just to hang with him on the mat. Joey neglects the obvious story that Shane hasn't had to really WRESTLE in ECW for years, as minimal skill and finesse could let him hang with Raven, Tommy, Sandman, Foley, etc. Shane gets it off the mat, so Scorp has to take a breather. Shane sits on a chair in the ring, but then throws it at him when he comes in. It breaks down into a brawl here, and Scorpio takes three totally insane bumps in this. Shane's fine with winning by a count out, not getting the belt but proving his point, but Scorp gets back in, and it becomes a real fight. Scorpio has it won too, but cares more about respect and proving his point, so he doesn't cover. Shane cuts him off at the end with a low blow up top, and hits a Super Belly to Belly to win the title! I think they could have done more with the roles in this before it broke down with the weird mid-match brawling section that was out of place, but that's probably just ECW being ECW making it hard to produce a genuine classic. Still though, really really great match.
***3/4

Post-match, Shane gets on the mic. He puts over the match and how great it is to feel gold. He puts over Scorpio as even better than him, and puts over the fans, Paul & Tod, and ECW for letting this happen, and says this match is what he means when he says he wants to get away from that cartoon bullshit. He says it starts for him tonight, and says Scorpio is the best TV Champion in ECW history, and they shake hands. He asks him to show everyone what respect is all about and to strap the title around his waist. Scorpio takes the title, BUT HITS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH IT! FUCK YEAH! Scorp then hits him with the Piledriver in revenge.

Match #6: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam [Respect Match]
Joey tries to claim this is only their second meeting. You called one in January, man. Come on. This is very good though, as RVD counters lots of Sabu's big spots, having learned things for once. RVD still has his awful habit of grabbing random holds to kill time, but he did it less here than last month, so he's learning. This is mostly spots though, and they were crisp and really cool, so it worked. RVD uses actual head drops and then becomes the first person to pin Sabu in a singles match in this review with the Split Legged Moonsault.
***

They stare each other down now, but Sabu walks away and to the back!

Replays air.

Heyman gets Sabu back in the ring and Joey Styles gets on the mic. Rob takes the mic and says not only does he NOT respect Sabu, but he calls him a piece of shit! RVD walks out on Sabu now and Taz and Bill Alfonso are in the entranceway! RVD walks past them, and Taz stares at Sabu being helped out of the ring, and they decide to leave.

Match #7: Tommy Dreamer/The Gangstas vs. Brian Lee/The Eliminators
This gets about 21 minutes, so yeah, awful. Eliminators/Gangstas had some cool stuff, but what made a great 3 minute brawl does not work when the length is multiplied by seven. Math and shit. Brian Lee is still pretty useless, and it's a whole lot of meandering brawling. The end finally comes when Mustafa Powerbombs Kronus on a trash can and New Jack hits the 187 for the win.
*3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
May 14th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


Sabu killing the jobbers opens the show.

Scorpio vs. Douglas then airs, along with post-match. This kills most of the show, and deserves it.

PULP FICTION:
-The Sandman says this one's for Ray Stevens and drinks
-The Eliminators say The Gangstas can mark up the belts, but they're still not theirs
-THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE! THOU SHALT NOT USE THE DUDLEYS' NAME IN VEIN! AND THOU SHALT NOT FUCK WITH THE DUDLEYS!
-Tommy is with Beulah and Kimona and says he's not the first guy to get suckered in by some broad saying she's pregnant, and he should be mad because she's cheating on him, but then makes out with Kimona.
-Shane Douglas says he'll give Sandman and Tommy their title shots both at the same time
-The Gangstas said they still standing, and they're coming to Allentown this weekend to whoop that ass, and to take that ass. New Jack says they put their brand on the belt and they're taking it next, and they're gonna tear that ass out the frame
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
May 21st, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


A recap airs of RVD/Sabu in highlight form, and the post-match is shown in full.

A fan cam shot airs of Paul Heyman in a parking lot, and he says somebody went to RVD and told him about Sabu's injuries and explained to him how banged up Sabu's neck truly is. He says it wasn't Sabu and it wasn't him, and somebody is making a game out of a very serious situation.

In the back, Bill Alfonso and Taz stand by and Alfonso screams to give credit where credit is due. He says Taz told him, and he ran to Rob Van Dam, and he stooged it off. He says he beat Sabu and laid him out and he told him how to do it. Taz says he has one problem with that, and says if RVD could do that to him, imagine what he could do to Sabu if he ever had the guts to get in the ring with him.

ECW FIGHT THE POWER - JUNE 1ST - ECW ARENA:
-This wasn't released, so clips will only be on HCTV :(
-ELIMINATORS VS. GANGSTAS FOR THE TAG TITLES
-SCORPIO/DOUGLAS II
-DREAMER/PITBULLS VS. LEE/BRUISE BROTHERS IN AN FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE ELIMINATION MATCH
-BRIAN PILLMAN RETURNS!

Chris Jericho vs. Mikey Whipwreck airs.

Footage airs of a Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee outside brawl from a house show.

The Raven/Pitbull #2/Sandman ECW Title match airs.

PULP FICTION:
-The Pitbulls say when The Eliminators are done fighting in the streets, they have a war waiting for them in the ring
-Sandman spits his beer, and Missy says they spit, but they swallow. Ew.
-The Bruise Brothers say they can't wait to get rid of The Pitbulls and kick their bitch in the mouth.
-Scorpio says he's taking Shane to a new level
-Shane says he applauded Scorpio and he respected him then, but he went over the line and says this is the house he built, and he's not ready to vacate it
-The Gangstas say they're coming for them. New Jack says he's got a long track record
-The Eliminators say everybody thinks they're taking the belts with their mark on them. Everyone thinks they're the second coming of the Public Enemy. Wrong on all accounts. He says PE were pussies, but at least The Gangstas stayed to fight. There won't be a celebration, all there will be is TOTAL ELIMINATION. Kronus then cackles like a lunatic.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
May 28th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


A video airs of Brian Pillman's ECW exploits, to hype up his return on June 1st, his first appearance since his car accident in April.

Clips again air of the RVD/Sabu post-match angle, along with new footage of Sabu having to leave on a stretcher.

In another Fan Cam promo, Paul Heyman says if RVD was enough of a man to have Sabu stretchered out based on the beating he dished out, it would be one thing. But that's not what it was, because RVD had inside information, which he received based on a very very personal situation. He says RVD is fucked, big time, and now he has Sabu coming after him. I get the idea, but RVD did all the work himself, so he did earn that.

Footage airs of an awesome last 2-3 minutes of a Scorpio/Jericho match. Scorp wins and puts Jericho over to the camera right after.

Footage airs from a house show, as Joey Styles interviews The Nest. Raven says he knew Kimona was with Beulah, and he thought he could still have her in spirit then. He says sometime he could still taste Beulah on her. He then goes on a tirade about all women, and tells Stevie to go find him the most disgusting, hideous, sluttiest, disease ridden slag he can find and bring her to him.

The Dudley Boyz vs. Damien/Devon airs.

Tommy/Gangstas vs. Brian Lee/Eliminators airs.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
June 4th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


In the ring, Joey Styles brings out Raven and Stevie Richards. Stevie is now in a Boyz II Men half-shirt. Stevie says he called for this special interview because his man sent him on a mission. He sent him on a mission to find the dirtiest, ugliest, skankiest thing he could find, and he brings out Divine Brown. The internet says this is the whore that fucked Hugh Grant. She is GROSS. She gets all up on Stevie and says she'll do anything, but Raven says she hasn't been with enough people yet, and he doesn't want her. Raven then walks out.

In the back, Joey Styles says the six man elimination match now has a stipulation that if either Pitbull or Tommy Dreamer survives, they will get a title shot at Raven next. Joey then also talks about the Taz/Sabu/RVD neck injury thing and says RVD/Sabu "III" will happen on June 22nd at Hardcore Heaven.

Match #1: Taz w/ Team Taz vs. Jason Helton [Shoot Fight]
Another solid Taz squash. Shoot Fight just means it's KO or submission only. Taz does his thing and wins with the Tazplex.
*3/4

After the match, Taz goes to the camera and says all he cares about is that scarred up freak, and tells Paul E. to bring him and he'll eat him up.

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer/The Pitbulls vs. Brian Lee/The Bruise Brothers [Elimination Falls Count Anywhere Match]
This happens. #1 is hurt and he gets eliminated early after repeated dick postings. Awesome AWESOME AAAAAAAAAAWESOME spot when they fight on the stage and Raven interferes on Tommy, AND BRIAN LEE CHOKESLAMS DREAMER DOWN THROUGH A TABLE! FUCK YEAH HUGE BUMP. But that is essentially meaningless, as Tommy fights back from that. I can deal with that being a mid-match transition, to some extent, but not in a match with these rules. Tommy fights back though and DDTS a Harris on the floor to get it back to 2-2. #2 then tries to Superbomb Tommy onto a Harris as a weapon, but Lee pulls him off, and covers Tommy to eliminate him. LOL. The Harris then accidentally kicks a chair into Lee's face when #2 moves, and he covers to eliminate Brian Lee! #2 ROLLS UP HARRIS TO WIN A TITLE SHOT!
**

Raven comes out and the Harris Brothers attack him, and he says down the line is RIGHT NOW! YEAH!

Match #3: Raven [c] vs. Pitbull #2 [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
PITBULL KICKS OUT OF A PILEDRIVER! FUCK YEAH! AWESOME BOOKING TO MAKE HIM A SINGLES STAR EVEN IF HE'S DOG SHIT IN THE RING MOSTLY. He has a comeback, but Raven hits the Evenflow on a chair, and then the loaded boot for the win. Really fun for two and a half minutes.
**

HARDCORE HEAVEN 96 - JUNE 22ND - ECW ARENA:
-SABU VS. ROB VAN DAM
-TOMMY DREAMER VS. BRIAN LEE IN A WEAPONS MATCH

In the back, Brian Lee says the Chokeslams was born in ECW, killed everywhere else, and resurrected by Brian Lee.

Weirdly, highlights air of the events shown on this show.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
June 11th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


Before FBI/Dudleys, the FBI finally comes out to "Fly Me To The Moon", and JT sings along to the song, and they comb each other's hair. The Dudley Boyz come out and instead of introducing himself, Bubba tries to sing and yells FLY ME TO THE MOO-MOO-MOO- and JT takes the mic. He says not to mock Sinatra, so D-Von yanks the mic back and tells them his three laws, and they attack the FBI.

Match #1: JT Smith/Little Guido vs. The Dudley Boyz w/ The Dudley Family
Really fun match while it lasted. The FBI's stooging is wonderful, and Bubba and D-Von work better together almost with every show. Before too long though, D-Von goes insane again and hits the ref with a chair for the DQ.
*1/2

D-Von hits Bubba again with the chair and then DW and Sign Guy and Chubby too. :( BIG DICK DUDLEY RETURNS! FUCK YEAH! But D-Von bails out to the back.

RVD vs. Mikey Whipwreck with a bad knee is supposed to happen, but Brian Pillman comes down the entrance on a wheelchair with crutches and says if they want to worship a real god, then they should get on their knees and worship Brian FUCKING Pillman. Mikey tells him to leave, so Pillman says to come out and do something. Mikey goes out to the floor and Brian asks if he'd hit a man in a wheelchair, and Mikey slaps him! SO PILLMAN KNEECAPS HIM WITH THE CRUTCH AND BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM FROM HIS CHAIR! RVD goes out and hits Mikey with a chair a lot, before he rolls him in. He debuts the Van Daminator and hits a Standing Moonsault to win at some 10 seconds of a match. Nope.

After the break, Joey Styles is at ringside with Pillman, and RVD is hanging out in the back. Pillman calls everyone here a scumbag and says they are the lowest form of life on this planet, and says this has been great therapy. He says he is a pioneer and he's thrown his fists of hate at Ted and Jane themselves, and he's here to celebrate what Rob Van Dam has done to the flagship of ECW, Sabu! He says Sabu sucks just like all the pieces of shit in this goddmaned building. RVD says they should get the fuck out of this dump, and he wheels Brian to the back.

In a pretape, Paul Heyman says every week, you see an Extreme Warfare Vol. 1 commercial where Chris Benoit drops Sabu on the top of his neck, and says that injury was kept quiet. What about Joey Styles yelling that he broke Sabu's neck? And Benoit bragging about it? He says only himself, Sabu, and Taz knew about it, and says he begged Sabu to team with his friend Taz, because he needed the career boost. He says Taz gave him the inside information and at Hardcore Heaven, he has a receipt coming his way, and Sabu is going to kick his ass.

ADDED TO HARDCORE HEAVEN:
-TAZ VS. UFC'S PAUL VARELANS

In the back, Joey Styles says Scorpio was sick, so the rematch never happened.

Shane Douglas comes out dragging the title on the ground and he tosses it in the ring, AND KICKS IT INTO THE CORNER AHAHAHA. He gets on the mic and says to shut off his music. He says Scorpio took the low road so he's going to call out a very worthy opponent, AND CALLS OUT EL PUERTO RICANO!

Match #2: Shane Douglas [c] vs. El Puerto Ricano [ECW Television Championship]
This is 40 seconds, and Shane hits some punches, a nice Rolling Suplex, and then the Side Belly to Belly to win.
1/2*

Shane gets back on the mic and says he doesn't want the fucking belt. Static cut to him hitting Don E. Allen with the Side Belly to Belly, and he beats him too and covers just with both hands. He throws the belt back down when he gets it, and it static cuts back to him with Devon Storm. He kicks him in the dick and hits the Side Belly to Belly, and pins him with one finger. The ref gets the belt, AND SHANE KICKS IT OUT OF HIS HANDS AND SAYS NOT TO MAKE HIM TOUCH THAT THING! AMAZING! He says he wants a workout and asks who's next, and calls out Mikey to try another upset. Static cut to the middle of that, and Shane clips the bad knee and puts on a really really shitty Texas Cloverleaf to win. MATCH PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT, WHY NOT SHOW IT?! People come out to help Mikey out like Pitbull #2 and Bubba, AND SHANE ASKS IF HE'S A PITBULL OR A PUSSY! He turns around and Francine tries to stop him since he's already wrestled the trios match and Raven, and Shane yells at him to come try and take this piece of shit belt off of him. He goes to leave and Shane asks if he'll let a scraggly looking bitch like that order him around, so Francine points to the ring, and Pitbull #2 comes down! She gets in first, and she slaps Douglas, SO HE HITS HER WITH THE SIDE BELLY TO BELLY!

Match #3: Shane Douglas [c] vs. Pitbull #2 w/ Francine [ECW Television Championship]
This took 15 minutes, but is clipped to about 3 or 4. However, it looked great. Shane takes actual huge bumps for once, coming off like an actual Flair successor for once instead of another douchebag trying to ape him, and Pitbull's stuff all connected and looked good, aided by a hot crowd. At the end, Shane tries the Super Belly to Belly after blowing a kiss to Francine on the floor, BUT PITBULL #2 HIT THE SUPERBOMB FOR THE WIN! HOLY SHIT WHAT?!
N/A, but awesome

PULP FICTION:
-Shane Douglas says he damn near crippled 2 Cold Scorpio for a belt he didn't want, but now he thinks he wants it, so imagine what he'll do to Pitbull #2
-Divine Brown likes ECW
-Bubba says it's time they did something about this little family misunderst-st-st-standing
-Missy Hyatt says she loves violence
-Brian Lee says he's going to carve out Tommy Dreamer's soul
-Raven just says, "Quote the Raven, Nevermore"
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 5/11/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996


ECW Hardcore TV
June 18th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


Clips air of a new team, the Samoan Gangsta Party, who attacked The Gangstas on 6/1.

Joey announces Pitbull #2 vs. Chris Jericho for the TV Title at HH, as well as The Gangstas vs. The Eliminators for the Tag Titles in The Gangstas' last shot.

Footage airs of another crowd brawl and outside fight on a house show between Tommy Dreamer and Brian Lee.

Before the next match, Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie came out in British hats and wigs and said they were The Blue Meanie Bloods. FANTASTIC! Stevie says he is Lord Dancing Stevie Regal, and serves Missy Hyatt with the official papers for his sexual harassment suit. Raven's doctor then comes out and talks about Sandman's knee injury and says he didn't waste his time repairing his knee to see him wrestle again when he has to stay off his leg for four weeks. Sandman snatches the mic. YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. He says in his opinion, Missy can change his mind, and she makes out with the doctor.

The match is clipped down to like 2 minutes out of 9 or 10, so I can't rightly rate it, but it looked awesome. Stevie worked the knee, and ate like 10 or 15 insanely brutal cane shots. Sandman countered a Figure Four into a cradle for the win.

After the match, Raven comes out all bloody, and he attacks Sandman's knee and he puts on the Figure Four! Raven gets the cane and canes Sandman while he's in the hold. He has him in it for over a minute before letting go and poses over Sandman.

Match #1: Sabu vs. Mikey Whipwreck
This is from Allentown, PA on 5/18, and it is mostly in full. Sabu is working with a neck brace. This is a lot like their Queens match, but with enough stuff changed up. The neck limits Sabu and lets Mikey get in a lot of offense at the end. Both men threw some really really nasty punches at each other too, in between insane spots. Sabu debuts the Springboard DDT through table platform spot here, and it's still completely ridiculous in its lunacy. Mikey crawls in after that, but Sabu covers him to win.
***

PULP FICTION:
-D-Von says the Dudley family is his
-Tommy Dreamer says he's going to take Brian Lee straight to hell
-The Eliminators say it's time for the Gangstas to be eliminated
-The Gangstas tell them to pack a lunch, because it'll be a long night
-Blue Meanie is Bluedust. God fucking damnit.
-Dances With Dudley is happy that Big Dick is back, so D-Von attacks him and says this is his family
-Raven says he's going to show the world just how much pain The Sandman has to offer
-Paul Heyman says RVD will experience Sabu


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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Pitbull #2, Since 6/1/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

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ECW Hardcore Heaven 1996
June 22nd, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


Young Joel Gertner is running down the card, so The Sandman comes out and kills him with a cane shot. He yells for Missy to bring him out, and he brings out the old ring announcer, Bob Artese.

Match #1: Shane Douglas vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Hey, it's happening! Yay! ECW books both Shane Douglas and Sabu as Ace type figures really, and while I disagree wholeheartedly with Shane in that role since it plays into his whole bullshit shtick and encourages him to open his fucking mouth and cut more and more lame shoots, he's at least working hard in 1996, and they put on a great Ace vs. Underdog match. Mikey has some amazing babyface fire, and his selling of the knee is fantastic. There is some weird stuff though, like Shane punching the ref to try an easy DQ out, but it just never happens, and it's not the culmination of anything and it doesn't lead to any cheating while he's down, it's just a thing. But Mikey's comeback revenge spots of getting a low blow of his own after several from Shane and then putting the Figure Four on was fantastic. Shane's leg selling is then even better, and as soon as he has a shot, he hits the Side Belly to Belly to win! This had definitive roles, no bullshit, selling, only 12 minutes, and used that time wisely so the match peaked in the finishing run and ended exactly when it should. What promotion is this?
***3/4

Coming back from the static cut, Joey Styles brings out his guests, AND IT'S BARON VON STEVIE AND BLUE DUST! The random girl from a few shows back is playing the Marlena role in a blue dress. Joey says they better have something big to make him put up with this and says Meanie looks more like Dusty Rhodes than his own son. Stevie does an AMAZING Baron Von Raschke impression. Stevie announces that tonight, his man Raven will be bringing out the girl that Baron von Stevie has found to be the most disgusting, dirty, slimiest woman in society. He stomps around with the Claw motion again, and says he will not harm Bluedust. Bluedust says Raven says he's not feminine enoJT Smitugh, but he's here to show just how feminine he can be. He drops to his knees, so Joey runs away in fear, SO STEVIE PUTS THE CLAW ON HIM! STEVIE RICHARDS IS THE GREATEST. Joey no-sells like an asshole and leaves. Amazing segment.

Before the next match, the FBI brings out their friend, OLD WWF JOBBER SALVATORE BELLOMO! OH HOLY FUCK YES! I ALSO SEE A YOUNG GREEN LANTERN FAN IN THE AUDIENCE! Apparently, he was in the early early ECW as a wildman, and he comes out dressed as a gladiator, and cuts a promo in Italian.

Match #2: JT Smith/Little Guido vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Big Dick Dudley
Sal Bellomo is on the floor, along with Chubby, DW, and Sign Guy Dudley. Another insanely fun FBI/Dudleys match. The FBI gets on the mic after the bell and asks what Bubba's name is. They mock him when he tries to say it, AND HOLY FUCK, BUBBA SAYS IT WITHOUT STUTTERING! He asks if everybody hates D-Von, and they cheer, and says he had one thing right, AND BUBBA BREAKS OUT OF RETARD VOICE AND INTO NORMAL VOICE AND SAYS THOU SHALT NOT FUCK WITH THE DUDLEYS AND THEY ATTACK! Big Dick carries Sal off to the back to kill him, and then D-Von comes out to hit the FBI with a chair to cost the dudleys with a DQ.
**1/4

D-Von hits Bubba with the chair and yells that he's a disgrace, and D-Von beats up the others too. Bubba keeps getting up and he eats more and more chair shots. He asks where Big Dick is now, and he then comes out, and D-Von runs away through the crowd. D-Von says he's the patriarch as he runs away. Big Dick chases him, and D-Von gets in a car and it drives away.

Match #3: Taz w/ Team Taz vs. Paul Varelans [Shoot Fight]
Team Taz also includes several actual roster members to make sure this goes as planned. Biggie's review says "Pretty famous match if only for the backstory, that Varelans said he'd only job if Missy Hyatt gave him a blowjob, she refused, so Varelans became difficult to deal with, and it became a shoot in the ring.", but it's pretty cooperative for a shoot. I don't buy it. Varelans throws some TERRIBLE knees here, but he's solid at faking the matwork. Taz wins with the Tazmission in about 2 minutes after Saturn interfered to knock the big guy down.
*

Taz gets on the mic and gets "BULLSHIT" chants. Taz says that WAS bullshit, but he fucked them again, and that wasn't shit. A "SABU" chant breaks out, and Taz leaves.

Raven comes out with Stevie Richards and Super Nova is with them now. Stevie goes over the mission Raven's sent him on, and he's found the dirtiest, sluttiest, ugliest woman that he could find. He says he's looked and this is the lowest he can get, this is the worst he can find him, AND HE'S GOT THE SANDMAN'S EX-WIFE PEACHES! She gets in the ring and gets on her knees in front of the belt, but The Sandman and Missy Hyatt come out! He gets on the mic and asks if this is supposed to piss him off, and says he's already pimped her out to the whole locker room and got rid of her for a reason, and Sandman and Missy leave.

Raven is awaiting a mystery challenger, AND "FREE BIRD" HITS! FUCKING TERRY GORDY IS HERE!

Match #4: Raven [c] w/ Stevie Richards, Peaches, & Super Nova vs. Terry Gordy [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This is the last great Terry Gordy match, as he'd had his AJPW swan song in the spring. I don't even give a shit that this was only 6 minutes, it was beautiful. Gordy is completely on fire with everything, and he bloodies up Raven and beats him all over the arena. The dog and pony show felt necessary here, but was also held back. Since May, it feels like they've really refined the Raven Title Match routine to make it great and cut out the bad stuff. Gordy uses chairs and barbed wire, and Stevie and Nova can't pull him off of the Asiatic Spike, so Tommy Dreamer comes out and hits a Double DDT! AND BRIAN LEE IS HERE TO CHOKESLAM TOMMY, BUT TERRY GORDY HITS THE POWERBOMB ON BRIAN LEE! FUCK YEAH! He wraps the wire around Raven's face and bounces his head off the turnbuckles several times, BUT STEVIE SNEAKS IN THE STEVIEKICK! EVENFLOW CONNECTS AND RAVEN WINS!
***

Dreamer gets back up because hahahaha selling, and he DDTS Raven, BUT BRIAN CHOKESLAMS HIM AGAIN FUCK YEAH! It breaks down again, and The Sandman comes back out to get rid of the heels with the cane. Beulah and Kimona also come out to help Tommy away, and Sandman stalks Raven to the back, but Peaches comes out dressed exactly like Raven! AND SHE HAS A KID WITH HER!

Posted Image

AND SANDMAN BACKS UP FOR ONCE?! Raven yells that it's his son Tyler, and he bends down to put the mic in front of Tyler and he says, "DADDY, YOU'RE A DRUNK! I WORSHIP RAVEN NOW!" AND TYLER DOES RAVEN'S POSE! Raven cackles like a madman and keeps yelling "HE WORSHIPS ME!" This is totally overshadowed by Beulah challenging Peaches, but he drags her off. Raven drags Peaches and Tyler Fullington to the back, and Sandman follows, yelling not to do this to him. It's overshadowed immediately, as Tommy gets a standing ovation for Gordy. He deserves it, but still. Amazing work both in the match and the Raven/Sandman angle.

The Gangstas come out for their last shot at the titles, but The Samoan Gangsta Party attacks them from behind. They fight, and The Bruise Brothers also come out to attack The Gangstas for being black. The Samoan Gangsta Party leaves, the the Bruise Brothers and Gangstas keep fighting as The Eliminators hang out in the ring. The beat down the Gangstas, so Saturn challenges them. They then fight until The Gangstas come out and hey, this was all horrible. The Gangstas run everyone off. If they're healthy, why not have the match?

Match #5: The Samoan Gangsta Party vs. Axl Rotten/Hack Myers
SGP is Samu and Rosey under different names. YOU CAN'T HEADBUTT A SAMOAN. They do good squash stuff, and The Ganstas come back out after 2 minutes to fight them.
*

They have another four team brawl, and then the FBI and Dudleys get involved. Also, Shane Douglas, then Mikey, then everybody ever for five horrible minutes. It gets broken up and The Gangstas stand tall. After the insane emotional rollercoaster of the ECW Title match and post-match, that brought the show to a grinding fucking halt.

Match #6: Pitbull #2 [c] w/ Francine vs. Chris Jericho [ECW Television Championship]
Weird match. It was good, Jericho's coming into being pretty good by now, and Pitbull can handle himself, but they insisted on an even match and they clearly had a good power/speed match in them, since that's where the best pieces of this come from. Shane Douglas comes out to try and steal the belt, but Francine stops him, so he kisses her! She spits at him, BUT SHANE MOVES AND #2 CLOTHESLINES FRANCINE! Jericho attacks Shane on the floor, and the match continues. Jericho counters the Superbomb into a Frankensteiner to win the belt!
**3/4

Shane tries to take the belt again, but Pitbull #2 saves, and he gives the belt to Jericho. Shane comes back in and hits both men with chair shots before he leaves.

Match #7: Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee [Weapons Match]
This is the precursor to the Fans Bring The Weapons Match that's populated the U.S. deathmatch scene in the 2000s. Like most of those matches that didn't involve Necro Butcher, this is not very good, but that's not shocking, since Necro is better than both of these guys. I want to watch Necro/Joe and Necro/SD again. Necro's the best. They throw each other into stuff and fight everywhere. Tommy bleeds. Tommy's women interfere and he hits a DDT on a stop sign to win.
**

The Bruise Brothers attack, and they and Brian Lee take Tommy up to the Eagle's Nest, and in a famous spot, BRIAN CHOKESLAMS TOMMY THROUGH A TON OF TABLES OFF THE BALCONY BAH GAWD.

Match #8: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam
The ring breaks again, so it impacts the match, since it's these two. They have some good work with dueling back offense, but of course, it's not really sold that well. Sabu has some fantastic offense and both men have sweet dives. RVD's kicks are starting to develop more, and you can see him becoming RVD over the course of the series, which is cool, I guess. Dude. Sabu hits a Fisherman's Buster in revenge, and tries to do a Somersault Arabian Facebuster off the top, but the broken rope gives out and he takes a NASTY spill, just barely hitting it, and he covers to end it.
**1/2

Both men get stretchered out . Sabu tries to get off the stretcher and do his pose, but he collapses, and is stretchered out last.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 6/22/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996


ECW Hardcore TV
June 25th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


The goddamned beautiful and perfect Baron Von Stevie seg opens the show.

Shane Douglas vs. Mikey Whipwreck airs.

ECW ARENA RETURN - JULY 13TH - HEAT WAVE 1996!

The Raven/Sandman pre-match, Raven vs. Gordy, and the post-match all airs. Perfection.

This is the best episode of Hardcore TV, and the only one in the reviews yet that's even a contender for being on the same level is the one with both an Austin and a Cactus promo in the fall of 1995. But this has two killer matches and one of the all-time legendary ECW angles, along with a brilliant comedy segment.
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Top 25 Matches of the Half-Year:

1. 2 Cold Scorpio [c] vs. Sabu, CyberSlam 96 (February 17th)
2. 2 Cold Scorpio [c] vs. Shane Douglas, A Matter of Respect (May 11th)
3. Shane Douglas vs. Mikey Whipwreck, Hardcore Heaven 96 (June 22nd)
4. Sabu vs. Mikey Whipwreck, Massacre on Queens Blvd (April 13th)
5. Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera, Big Ass Extreme Bash (March 9th)
6. Raven [c] vs. The Sandman vs. Pitbull #2, A Matter of Respect (May 11th)
7. Cactus Jack vs. Mikey Whipwreck, Big Ass Extreme Bash (March 9th)
8. Mikey Whipwreck [c] vs. 2 Cold Scorpio, House Party 96 (January 5th)
9. 2 Cold Scorpio [c] vs. Sabu, Just Another Night (February 23rd)
10. Raven [c] vs. Terry Gordy, Hardcore Heaven 96 (June 22nd)
11. Sabu vs. Mikey Whipwreck, Allentown (May 18th)
12. Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam, A Matter of Respect (May 11th)
13. Tommy Dreamer/Shane Douglas vs. Raven/Stevie Richards, Big Apple Blizzard Blast (February 3rd)
14. Raven [c] vs. Shane Douglas, Just Another Night (February 23rd)
15. Chris Jericho vs. Taz, Big Ass Extreme Bash (March 9th)
16. Chris Jericho vs. Cactus Jack, Big Ass Extreme Bash (March 8th)
17. Chris Jericho vs. Mikey Whipwreck, A Matter of Respect (May 11th)
18. Pitbull #2 [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Hardcore Heaven 96 (June 22nd)
19. Raven [c] vs. Shane Douglas, Hostile City Showdown 96 (April 20th)
20. Cactus Jack vs. Shane Douglas, CyberSlam 96 (February 17th)
21. The Sandman vs. Axl Rotten, Just Another Night (February 23rd)
22. Sabu vs. Stevie Richards, House Party 96 (January 5th)
23. Rey Misterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators, House Party ’96 (January 5th)
24. Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam, Hostile City Showdown 96 (April 20th)
25. Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam, Hardcore Heaven 96 (June 22nd)


Wrestler of the Half-Year: Raven (26 Points)

Tag Team of the Half-Year: The Eliminators (11 Points)
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996
ECW Television Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 6/22/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
July 2nd, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


In a playground, Raven cuts a promo. He says a father gives up a lifetime of unwarranted hedonism to bring a child onto this earth. A mother spends nine months with a baby in her womb, a fetus, giving up alcohol and smoke just to bring this child onto the earth. Then for 18 years, they raise this child, giving it everything it wants, nursing, schooling, it doesn't matter. AND YET, THEY TURN TO HIM FOR SALVATION. The parenting and lessons meant nothing, and he says the mind that controls the children controls the future. The camera then pans to Tyler, dressed exactly like Raven, and he says, "Quote the Raven. Nevermore."

Pitbull #2 vs. Chris Jericho airs.

The Dudleys vs. FBI airs.

HEAT WAVE 96:
-CHRIS JERICHO VS. 2 COLD SCORPIO VS. SHANE DOUGLAS VS. PITBULL #2 IN AN ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE TV TITLE

A video airs on the events of the last two Heat Wave shows.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Brian Lee and the post-match then airs.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
ECW Television Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 6/22/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
July 9th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


Footage opens the show of Tommy Dreamer being stretchered out of the ECW Arena after the Chokeslam from the balcony.

Joey Styles explains a horrifyingly convoluted match for Heat Wave, and says it will be a six man Rage Of The Cage match. Raven and The Sandman will begin their fight in the cage, Gordy and Stevie start on the stage and the first one to get to the cage is allowed in for a 2 on 1. Brian Lee and Tommy will also have a Falls Count Anywhere match during this and if Stevie loses the fall, then Raven loses the title. What in the fucking fuck? No way this actually happens this is some TNA 2007 level stuff.

The retarded tag brawl segment aits.

Footage airs of last year at Heatwave, with the chair shot heard around the world.

ALSO ON HEATWAVE:
-THE GANGSTAS VS. THE SAMOAN GANGSTA PARTY
-SABU!
-IWA JAPAN'S TARZAN GOTO!
-PUSSY FARTS!

Sabu vs. RVD airs.

PULP FICTION:
-Raven tells Stevie that if he loses his belt, he will condemn him. Stevie promises he won't lose it, and Raven says he won't survive his wrath. Stevie asks what that means?
-Terry Gordy is in an EC F'N W shirt and says he's going to kick everyone's ass in 1996 for Extreme Championship Wrasslin
-Stevie Richards says Terry Gordy has died twice
-Tommy Dreamer says he'll make them feel so much pain that they wish they were dead. He is wearing a House of Pain shirt for some reason.
-Pitbull #2 apologizes to Francine and says Shane's ass is his
-Chris Jericho says if anybody can beat him, he'll give them the belt like a man, like Pitbull #2 did for him
-Raven is with Tyler, and he says now he knows what a daddy's supposed to be like, and Raven kisses his cheek. Peaches says she's waited two years to get The Sandman like this.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
ECW Television Champion: Chris Jericho, Since 6/22/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

Posted Image

ECW Heatwave 1996
July 13th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA

Match #1: The Gangstas vs. The Samoan Gangsta Party

New Jack and Mustafa just beat the unholy shit out of the Samoans for 3 minutes in a squash. They bleed, and New Jack hits one of them with a bag of sugar. It explodes and sticks to the cut in a really disgusting visual. It gets so bad that in a rarity, the ref actually calls the match and The Gangstas win by ref stoppage.
*1/4

New Jack then gets on the microphone and says that's one down, and says they're coming for The Bruise Brothers and The Eliminators too, and says he wants to fight WCW and WWF too.

Match #2: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Paul Lauria w/ Damien Kane & Lady Alexandra
OH GOD DAMNIT. WHY? This is only 90 seconds and not 10 fucking minutes, but it's still very upsetting. Fuck a Paul Lauria. Mikey wins with the Frankensteiner.
3/4*

The Eliminators come out to attack, AND MIKEY EATS TOTAL ELIMINATION! He is taken away, and Saturn gets on the mic. He says they'll fight anybody from any company so they accept their challenge, and says they're the best tag team alive. Saturn mocks Mikey for worshipping the almighty Sabu and tells him to go get his hero and fight them right now for the belts, so he comes out and has Sabu with him!

Match #3: The Eliminators [c] vs. Sabu/Mikey Whipwreck [ECW Tag Team Championship]
I really really really liked this, but it was just why of being great due to some awkward points. Classic tag format with a pair of great hot tags, good cut-offs, etc. Really showed what everybody was capable of, and the finishing run was really fucking great. Sabu tries a springboard thing through a table, but Saturn shoved him off and through the table, and then cut Mikey off. The Eliminators then slaughtered him with Total Elimination for the win.
**3/4

The FBI of JT, Guido, and Bellomo comes out, and Little Guido says there's so many Dudleys, so he has to bring in his little brother, and introduces Big Guido! He's this gigantic dude, and they all hug. The Dudley family comes out to fight them, and it's all of them but D-Von. He comes out onto the stage before the bell and says this is his fucking family and he'll slap Big Dick around just like the others, and they can all kiss his ass. He challenges Big Dick right now, so he goes after him.

Match #4: Bubba Ray Dudley/Big Dick Dudley/Dances With Dudley vs. JT Smith/Little Guido/Big Guido
The Dudleys are outnumbered without Big Dick, and this is a lot of stuff going on. D-Von avoids Big Dick and leaves. Stuff happens for a while and D-Von comes back with a chair and lays out most people. BUBBA GETS THE CHAIR BACK! YEAH! KILL HIM BUBBA! D-Von begs off, but then he gets a low blow. Hack Myers comes out to save for literally no reason, and gets killed. Big Dick gets back up, so D-Von runs away to the floor, and Big Dick hits Big Guido with a chair to win. Horrible match.
3/4*

Big Dick celebrates with the Dudley family, and D-Von bails.

Match #5: Axl Rotten vs. Tarzan Goto
Goto is one of those FMW/IWA Japan guys who innovated all the deathmatches and explosion stuff, so he's tough and all scarred up. Axl is game for a nice little brawl for 5-6 minutes. It wasn't pretty, but it looked like a fight. Goto had some sweet uppercuts, they did chair stuff, whatever. Ends a little prematurely to my surprise, as Goto hits a Brainbuster on the chair to win.
**

In the ring, Joey Styles brings out Taz and Joey Styles for an interview. Taz says there's no more big tough fighters for him to choke out, so he's going to talk tonight. He says he's choked out Bam Bam from the WWF, he's choked out that Sabu wannabe Devon Storm from WCW, and he toughed out that big tough dick from the UFC. Fonzie says Taz is undefeated, and he fires Joey Styles for saying bad things about them. Joey says he can't fire him, but Taz tells him to shut his mouth, motherfucker, so Joey agrees that he's fired. Fonzie then brings out his own personal commentator, JOEL GERTNER! He makes Joey shake his hand, and Taz says The Sandman has no control over his kid and Tommy is busy chasing two slut rats around, and he shoves Joey, SO 911 COMES BACK! YEAH! AWESOME! CHOKESLAM TO GERTNER! He goes for Fonzie, but Taz attacks, BUT TAZ EATS A CHOKESLAM! Nope. No-sold, and he KILLS 911 on a German Suplex and he chokes him out. Okay then.

Match #6: Chris Jericho [c] vs. 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Shane Douglas vs. Pitbull #2 w/ Francine [ECW Television Championship - Elimination Match]
Jericho is super sloppy early on, botching a lot of little things vs. Scorpio and Douglas, but they can carry him reasonably enough. Some really really obvious spot calling too. Big story is Shane avoiding Pitbull #2 after jumping him before the bell with a chair shot, and he manages to do so. Pitbull #2 gets in and is bloody, and Scorp hurts him on the floor, so Shane finally does stuff to him. including a really nice Saito Suplex. Jericho/Pitbull #2 is pretty great again. The first 15 minutes is sort of all sorts of cool stuff, but it starts to drag after that in the first fall. It picks up a little when it gets back in and everyone tries to pin Shane, which allows him to escape and tag out. Scorpio and Jericho do stuff, and after a distraction by Shane, Scorp hits a Tombstone and the Tumbleweed to eliminate Jericho. 27 minutes was a ridiculous amount of time for the first fall. Scorp and Shane have some more good stuff, but then the weird amount of obvious spot calling in this keeps up, and Scorp does some weird stuff, like blatantly not going for covers when he could win. Shane convinces #2 to Superbomb Scorpio, and that eliminates him. :( Aaaaaaaaaaand this is where it falls apart entirely. They do some awkward brawling and bring a table in, and then Pitbull #2 is closing in after Shane brings in Francine and there's a ref bump, BUT SHE THROWS POWDER IN HIS EYES AND SLAPS HIM! SHE PULLS HER SKIRT DOWN TO REVEAL A THONG WITH "FRANCHISE" ON IT! PITBULL #1 RUNS OUT AS SHANE AND FRANCINE CELEBRATE LITERALLY NOT ACCOMPLISHING THE SWERVE YET SINCE THE MATCH IS STILL ON, AND THEY THROW SHANE OUT. SUPERBOMB ON FRANCINE THROUGH THE TABLE. COOL, THEY ALREADY GOT REVENGE. FEUD'S OVER! Shane gets back in and breaks #1's neck with a DDT on a chair, and then hits #2 with the title belt! AND HE KICKS OUT. Hits him with a table piece. KICKS OUT. Brass knucks? UGH KICKS OUT AGAIRBOIHGHOREJHTOIREHR4 END THE GODDAMN MATCH, OKAY? JESUS THE BOOKING IS FUCKING BAD AT THE END. CHAIN SHOT? NOPE. KICKS OUT. He comes back but misses a corner kick and falls to the floor. Shane brings him in and hits the Side Belly to Belly, and somehow, THAT is what does him in, and Shane wins the belt back.

That started off so good. Really great 15-20 minutes, then it dragged but got good at the end. Scorp held the third fall together despite weird stuff, and then booking ruined it. The actual turn is a great idea, and the idea for it was great. But it ended up being another ECW Mid-Match Angle. Why do it when it doesn't have any real effect? Pitbull #2 is already incredibly over, he doesn't need the boost from surviving that and then kicking out of every god damn cheap trick. Not a classic, but a very good match, and a pretty solid time capsule of ECW, and everything good and bad about it.
***

Douglas carries Francine to the back along with the title.

Match #7: Sabu vs. Louie Spicolli
Good stuff! Sabu has the neck brace on, and Louie works it. Sabu has some new stuff, and Louie is game for a Sabu Match, which is always great. Louie got to shine with some nice counters and power offense and throws. Spicolli hurts his knee, so Sabu targets it with strikes and chair shots to come back. He hits a DDT off the top and then the Arabian Facebuster for the win.
***

Everyone gathers for this horrible and goddamned TNA 2007 level Rage in a Cage match, and Raven has Peaches and Tyler at ringside. He offers Sandman his son back if he just goes away, but Raven cheap shots him while he's thinking about it.

Match #8: Raven/Stevie Richards/Brian Lee vs. The Sandman/Tommy Dreamer/Terry Gordy [Rage in a Cage]
Again, Raven and Sandman are in the cage with a ref, Gordy and Stevie are on the stage with one, and Tommy/Brian are on the floor with one. If Stevie is pinned, then Raven loses the title. This is not much, generally speaking. There's some fun power spots from Gordy and decent angle stuff where Sandman stops Tommy from hitting Tyler when Raven uses him as a shield, and Stevie dies on several bumps, but as a whole, kind of just a mess. Tommy and Brian fight near the top of the cage with tables on the floor, AND BRIAN LEE CHOKESLAMS TOMMY DOWN THROUGH ALL OF THEM! Sandman hits Raven with a DDT and Missy distracts Brian from saving and Sandman pins Raven to win!
**

Brian Lee chokes out Missy, and then Beulah and Kimona too. Gordy and Brian Lee fight in the cage, and Brian Lee bails. Super Nova and Blue Meanie carry Stevie away, and Sandman is given the belt by Gordy, despite not at all being the champion. What a fucking mess.
Edited by Big Tuna, May 5 2013, 11:24 PM.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 1/27/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY
ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996
ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 2/3/1996

ECW Hardcore TV
July 16th, 1996
Philadelphia, PA


The Gangstas vs. Samoan Gangsta Party opens the show.

The Mikey/Lauria debacle and Eliminators vs. Sabu/Mikey match then airs.

Joey Styles goes over the RVD/Sabu feud, and says they will have a Stretcher Match on August 3rd.

An Eliminators music video airs to House of Pain's "Fed Up". Why does ECW keep promoting them?

In the back, Joey Styles is with D-Von Dudley. D-Von says the Dudley family situation is disgusting, and all he's trying to do is help. D-Von says he does it because he loves them, and he's not going to sweep their problems under the rug like Big Dick, and he's going to fix Big Dick's attitude.

PULP FICTION:
-Taz is doing squats in front of Sabu's t-shirt on the wall, and Fonzie says he trains harder than any man alive. Taz stops and says he's been training his whole life for a man that will never face him.
-New Jack has a rope around his neck and says Jim Cornette still owes him money. He asks how it feels to have a company that ran 5 nights a week but still went bankrupt and calls Cornette an undercover racist. Mustafa comes over with a noose around his neck too, and says he owes him $150. New Jack says if you're gonna be a pimp, you gotta pay the hos, because they need their money.
-Joey Styles plugs the Heatwave tape, and the Eliminators come out as Joey announces the four way booked for August 3rd. Saturn says he'll show them why they're the best tag team in the world
-Brian Lee says the only thing he cares about in all this mess is Raven, and he has his back
-Shane says it's his belt over and over again
-The Gangstas call The Bruise Brothers punks and tell them to bring it on. New Jack mocks Saturn's eye and Kronus being a retard, and then they talk about the Samoan Gangstas, BUT THE SAMOAN GANGSTA PARTY DRIVES UP AND ATTACK THEM IN THE STREET!
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