| Simon Watches WWE - 2012 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 12 2013, 05:02 PM (12,938 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Oct 24 2013, 07:52 PM Post #181 |
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B-SHOW ROUND UP John Cena vs. Damien Sandow, Main Event (November 28th) This is your classic case of Cena elevating a promising midcard heel with a loss. It's not as great as the 2009 stuff against Swagger/Punk or 2010 against Ziggler, but then Sandow isn't as good as Ziggler or Punk and 2012 Cena isn't on the level of 2009 Cena due to mounting injuries. However, it's still pretty great, because this has an extended run of Cena ruling on the mat early on. It's both the coolest and most frustrating thing to see him break out cool blocks and counters and solid hold for hold stuff, because it's actually really good and you get mad at him for not doing this all the time. Sandow gets really violent and aggressive and has his best match yet as a result. Cena had a lot of great hope spots as usual in a match like this with 15 minutes, but the finishing run leaves a bit to be desired since Sandow has no finishing run level offense yet. Cena powers out of the Straightjacket Neckbreaker and trips Sandow into the STFU to win. *** Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder, Main Event (November 28th) They get a while, and Cesaro is able to fill time much much better than Sandow is, so this is way better than the long Ryder/Sandow match on Raw. That's not even me saying Sandow has time issues like a Sheamus or Barrett, because he's solid at it, but Claudio is one of the best guys in the company period. Claudio basically puts Ryder in the role of a high flyer and works a 5-6 minute version of his touring match. Claudio intercepts a Plancha with a European Uppercut, and then rolls him back in for the Neutralizer to win. **1/2 The Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel, Saturday Morning Slam (December 1st) This was good, but SMS feels like a hindrance to this particular match up, as they can't do all their insane shit on a kids show with mostly easy comedy matches. Gabriel tries to do a Ki/Red sequence, but is horrible at it and made it look really safe and lame. They still got like 7-8 minutes and put on a great match by force of will. The Usos had a good control segment to set up the flashier high flying comeback, and Kidd gets a sweet arm drag off the top to enable the hot tag. Gabriel screws up some stuff in the finishing run to hold this back unfortunately, but The Usos broke out lots of new offense. Kidd takes an awesome apron bump, and the Pop-Up Samoan Drop beats Gabriel. **1/2 Edited by Big Tuna, Oct 24 2013, 08:01 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Oct 24 2013, 11:32 PM Post #182 |
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X'd out halfway through SD. OH WELL. John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio - ** -Ziggler attacks Cena with the briefcase post-match The Great Khali vs. David Otunga - 1/4* Team Hell No/Kofi Kingston vs. The Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett - **1/4 Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd - ** The Usos vs. Heath Slater/Jinder Mahal - *3/4 Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler - **3/4 -Big Show causes a DQ, but Ziggler looks the best he has against Sheamus so far in 2012. Cena tries to save, and he and Sheamus get rid of Show. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 24 2013, 11:38 PM Post #183 |
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Top 10 Matches - November 2012: 1. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/Brodus Clay vs. The Prime Time Players/The Colons/Tensai, Survivor Series (November 18th) 2. Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro, Raw (November 26th) 3. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara/Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. The Prime Time Players/The Colons, Raw (November 12th) 4. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz, Main Event (November 21st) 5. John Cena vs. Damien Sandow, Main Event (November 28th) 6. John Cena/Ryback vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler, Raw (November 5th) 7. CM Punk vs. John Cena, Raw (November 12th) 8. Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio, Raw (November 19th) 9. Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat, NXT (November 21st) 10. Team Hell No vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara, Raw (November 19th) Wrestler of the Month: Dolph Ziggler (18 Points) Tag Team of the Month: Team Hell No & The Prime Time Players [TIE] (13 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 29 2013, 05:56 PM Post #184 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw December 3rd, 2012 Greensburo, NC I've been an idiot and x'd out of Chrome like 3 times during this review and I'm not typing it over again like I tried to do halfway through last night. Fuck it. Raw - featured a backstage segment in which John Cena spoke with Sheamus about their tag team match later in the night; included an ad promoting the newest version of the WWE app; featured an in-ring promo by Paul Heyman & WWE World Champion CM Punk in which Heyman complained that Punk wasn't featured enough in the new WWE Encyclopedia and would surpass John Cena the following night as the longest reigning champion of the modern era; Heyman then said Punk should be front and center on WWE's Mt. Rushmore, with Punk saying he was the best in the world and should be listed above Hulk Hogan, Rock, Steve Austin, and the Undertaker; Punk said his reign had lasted longer than some of the fans had kept jobs or stayed married and that he had nothing to do with Brad Maddox or the Sheild, but he was the hottest thing in WWE; Punk then told the fans to leave if they didn't agree and were in denial, with Mike Mizanin interrupting and saying Punk was a lair and challenged Punk to come on Miz TV and take a lie detector test to prove himself; Miz went on to call Heyman a walrus and told Punk that without doing the test his title reign would have an asterisk beside it; Punk went on to accept and said he would prove himself and Miz and the fans would have to learn to admit he was the best in the world; included an ad promoting WWEShop.com; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read nWo: The Revolution is the #1 sports DVD in America; included an ad promoting WWE content on YouTube; featured an ad promoting Tribute to the Troops with Miss Puggy and Flo Rida; included an ad promoting the Rolling Stone's pay-per-view on Dec. 15; featured a backstage segment in which Dolph Ziggler told Vickie Guerrero to give him a rematch against John Cena at TLC and he would steal the show; moments later, Vickie walked into her office to find Maddox, with his own cameraman; following the commercial break, Vickie questioned Maddox as to why he thought he was worthy of a WWE contract, then offering him one should he win his match later in the night; included an ad promoting WWE touts; featured a backstage segment in which Vince McMahon told a stagehand he wanted to see Vickie in the ring; included an ad promoting The Attitude Era on DVD; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read Smackdown was the #2 longest running episodic show on TV, with Raw being #1; included an in-ring segment in which Vickie introduced McMahon, who pushed on Vickie the idea of Ziggler facing Cena in a ladder match at TLC with Ziggler's Money in the Bank title shot on the line; McMahon then suggested to Vickie that Punk should be punished should it be revealed he was working with the Shield, with Vickie saying Heyman would face Ryback the following week if that were the case; featured an ad promoting Kid Rock appearing as part of Tribute to the Troops; included a backstage segment in which Vickie yelled at referee Charles Robinson for the Sheild attacking Randy Orton, with Ziggler interrupting and blaming Vickie for putting him in a ladder match against Cena for his Money in the Bank title shot; Ziggler then said Vickie was becoming just like AJ in her role as GM; moments later, Heyman appeared and glared at Vickie before she said he better hope that Punk would tell the truth later in the show; after Heyman left, Cena walked in and thanked Vickie for making the match with he and Ziggler; featured an ad promoting 'The Day' on DVD; included the announcement Randy Orton would face Wade Barrett on Smackdown; featured a closing in-ring segment of Miz TV in which Miz introduced a representative of the local sheriff's department and then brought out Punk and Heyman; after Miz and Punk had words, Miz began asking Punk questions as a graphic on the big screen charted whether Punk was answering truthfully; after establishing a baseline, Miz questioned whether Punk was working with Maddox and the Sheild, with the Sheild then jumping Miz at ringside, destroying the set, and attacking him in the ring; Miz then sustained the triple team powerbomb before WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Daniel Bryan ran out; after they too were beaten down, Ryback ran out and attacked Ambrose in the corwd as Bryan & Kane gained the upper hand at ringside; moments later, Punk was left in the ring with Miz, still beaten down; Punk then kicked Miz out of the ring and posed before Ryback returned to the ring and dropped him with Shellshocked; Ryback then assaulted Punk with a ladder and steel chair before dropping him with a powerbomb through a table set up in the ring to end the show: WWE Tag Team Champions Daniel Bryan & Kane defeated Darren Young & Titus O'Neil in a non-title match at 11:26 when Bryan pinned Young with a roll over; prior to the bout, Kane took the mic and challenged Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, and Roman Reigns -- shown in the crowd -- to come to the ring and fight them; during the contest, the members of Sheild were shown coming down from different sides of the arena; after the match, they jumped the barricade and assaulted the champions as the crowd chanted "Feed me more;" eventually, Bryan sustained a triple-team powerbomb; moments later, they escaped back into the crowd - ** AJ pinned Tamina with a roll up at 3:20 - *3/4 John Cena & Sheamus defeated World Heavyweight Champion the Big Show & Dolph Ziggler at 11:56 when Cena pinned Ziggler with the FU after Sheamus dropped Show with the White Noise - **1/2 Damien Sandow pinned Santino Marella with the neckbreaker at around the 6-minute mark after avoiding a headbutt off the top; prior to the bout, Sandow said he was looking for an apprentice and looked to the crowd to find someone; moments later, he pulled a man from the crowd and asked him several questions until the man got one wrong, then calling him stupid and telling him to leave the country; moments later, Marella came out and tried to quiz Sandow, before Sandow knocked him down; following the bout, the announce team told fans to send Touts to Sandow in an attempt to stump him (the match began during the commercial break) - *1/2 Alberto Del Rio defeated Sin Cara via submission with the cross armbreaker at 12:40; Ricardo Rodriguez served as ADR's ring announcer for the bout - ** Randy Orton pinned Brad Maddox with the RKO at 1:17; stipulations stated Maddox would earn a WWE contract if he won; immediately after the contest, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, & Roman Reigns ran out and triple teamed Orton and dropped him with the triple team powerbomb - 1/2* WWE US Champion Antonio Cesaro defeated WWE IC Champion Kofi Kingston, Wade Barrett, and R-Truth at 12:26 by pinning Kingston with the Neutralizer, moments after Kingston hit the spin kick to the face to Barrett; only the US title was at stake; following the ring entrances, Teddy Long appeared and said the initially scheduled tag team match between Kingston & Truth and Cesaro & Barrett would now be a title match for either the IC or US title, then told fans to tweet their vote; following the commercial break, it was revealed the US title won at 83% to the IC title's 17% - **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 29 2013, 06:41 PM Post #185 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT December 5th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Antonio Cesaro vs. Michael McGillicutty The reason NXT in its revamped form is the best WWE weekly show (as I write this on 10/29/2013) and has been since mid 2012 is because they tend to go with the flow a lot more than WWE itself. When someone gets unexpectedly over, they run with it and adjust depending on crowd response 9 times out of 10. Big E gets super over and gets put into a big angle. Joe becomes beloved by the crowd and greeted with SHAH chants for all of his offense, so they put him against a hot main roster heel for a really fun 5 minute showcase match. He shines as a heel, as it means he can use the 4 or 5 things he does REALLY well, and Claudio can carry the rest. Joe throws awful punches, but his chops kick ass. Hid Mr. Perfect style leapfrog and dropkick sequence looks amazing, and he breaks out a nice Sliding D. The hot crowd helps a TON as well. Of course, Joe being Joe, he fucks it up at the end and fails to get high enough on the pop, so Claudio has to adjust with a quick Pop-Up Forearm instead. He hits The Neutralizer to win. **1/4 TONIGHT: KIDD VS. KRUGER! Match #2: Bo Dallas vs. Axl Keegan Bo's entrance video is now just a waving American flag. You get the feeling that if Dusty could get the rights, he'd make him come out to "Born in the USA" too. Bo is the exception at this point to NXT listening to fans, since everyone hates him. Bo is still the worst guy on NXT. Bo hits the worst Spear of all time to win. 45/Poop Bo gets on the mic after the match and says he's lost a few fights recently, but he fights because he loves all of the fans. Someone yells "SHUT THE FUCK UP, FAGGOT". WWE clearly does not edit this show at all, and I love it. Bo offers an open challenge to anyone in the WWE to fight him. RAW REBOUND! Match #3: Corey Graves vs. Yoshi Tatsu FUCK YEAH YOSHI TATSU. He's given up putting in any effort into his work since being taken totally off TV sometime in the last year. SJK is still really horrible. My instinct is to call him the worst, but this follows a Bo Dallas match, so he's not really THE worst. Graves puts on his leg hold to win. 3/4* Match #4: Roman Reigns vs. Gavin Reed Blue Chipper Roman Reigns continues to be just a terrible fit for Reigns given how good he's gotten, but whatever. He uses less matwork here and more of the good power offense type stuff, and wins with the Mark of Excellence again. *1/4 Reigns motions for Byron Saxton to come in and announce him as the winner. He takes it from Saxton, and Reigns asks if he's jealous of him. He wants to talk and walk like him, and he'd give his last penny to look like him. He's doing Byron a favor letting him stand in his ring, and he doesn't want to have this conversation again. That's more like it. In the back, some dude interviews Tyson Kidd and asks about Leo Kruger. He says everyone's goal in NXT is to make a name for themselves, but he's done that already, and his goal is the NXT title. Kassius Ohno comes over and asks if he's kidding him, and says he must think he matters now. He says Richie Steamboat also thought he was somebody until he put him on the shelf, and he's the most dangerous man in the "Universe", and it's no place for a Kidd. Kidd responds like an asshole and says Einstein said it best when he said "Great spirits always encounter opposition from mediocre minds." NEXT WEEK: ROLLINS/JINDER II! Match #5: Tyson Kidd vs. Leo Kruger Kidd again takes an inexperienced big guy and gets a career match out of them. Kidd has to use energy and trickery to counteract the size and aggression, and takes his usual awesome transition bump to the floor. Leo does solid with his control segment and Kidd takes another fantastic beating. Kidd has his arm injured off a missed Flying Elbow, and he sells it really well through the end. He tries it again, but anticipates the block this time, and catches the foot. He puts on the Dungeon Lock after that for the win in a cool finish. *** Post-match, Ohno attacks from behind and knocks out Kidd with Kruger's help! |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 29 2013, 06:59 PM Post #186 |
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B-SHOW ROUNDUP! Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston, Main Event (December 5th) Cesaro carries Kofi for the first time here. During the match, they announce Cesaro/Truth for TLC with the title on the line, and also mention Punk's injury on Raw. Both Wade and Truth are on commentary to set up the obvious tag match soon. Kofi tries to throw a European Uppercut at Claudio and it's the most embarrassing thing to watch ever. Cesaro hasn't figured out yet that the trick is to not let Kofi do any of his usual horrible spots, so this is only average since Kofi gets too much. After a while, Wade and Truth get involved and it gets thrown out. **1/4 Truth challenges them to a tag match, and it happens. Antonio Cesaro/Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Main Event (December 5th) This is the lesser of the two matches, since it means we have to watch Wade vs. Kofi or Truth, and it's also longer. Overall, Claudio is forced to carry some of the worst guys on the roster for 30 minutes. He can't do it, of course, because this is a 20 minute tag match, but when he's in, this is okay. But Wade's in more than him, so there you go. It's just way too fucking long in general, I don't know what else to say. Cesaro blocks a Sunset Flip from Truth, but then Kofi knocks him back into it with that fucking kick and Truth gets the win. *3/4 John Cena vs. Heath Slater w/ 3MB, Saturday Morning Slam (December 8th) BOOKER T IS ON COMMENTARY AGAIN FOR THIS! AMAZING. Slater is the perfect heel for this show, since he'll be the ass of jokes and it's just another really fun SMS match, now with someone the kids actually really love. Cena uses CENA MATWORK~ again, and B-Show Cena is so much fun. Slater actually gets elevated too with real offense on Cena before the obvious comeback. Five Knuckle Shuffle is for once immediately followed by the FU for the win. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 29 2013, 10:22 PM Post #187 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown December 7th, 2012 North Charleston, SC To open the show, Josh announces that CM Punk has has knee surgery, so Ryback will get no title shot at TLC. They say he'll have a future title shot, and Vince booked The Shield vs. Ryback and Team Hell No in a TLC match, but with a pinfall or submission ending. included an in-ring segment in which Booker T showed footage from recent physical altercations between Sheamus and World Heavyweight Champion the Big Show and said the two could not have contact with each other until the TLC pay-per-view or they would be supsended; Booker then introduced Show and Sheamus to sign their no contact contract, then reminding both that if they got into a fight then and there they would face the consequences; Sheamus then signed the contract and the two had words about the upcoming chairs match, noting they could end the other's career; Show eventually tipped the table over onto Show, with Booker having to hold him back and saying he could take out his frustrations on Alberto Del Rio later in the night; Booker then said Show would face WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan in the opening bout Match #1: The Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan Really enjoyable seven minutes. I wish they'd get more time, but WWE's time management is laughable, so there you go. They work much better with the roles reversed compared to earlier in 2012. Bryan sells a ton and makes a great comeback, but The Shield comes down from the crowd to distract him, and Show hits a Chokeslam for the win. **3/4 The Shield beats down Bryan after the match. Kane comes out to save, but gets the Triple Powerbomb through the announce table. included an in-ring segment in which Damien Sandow said he was searching for an apprentice and found a fan in the crowd to come into the ring; moments later, Sandow quizzed him before he got a wrong answer, with Sandow sending him out of the ring and calling him a loser; Mike Mizanin then appeared and made fun of Sandow's appearance before then leaving the ring Match #2: Heath Slater/Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal vs. The Usos/Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls This is under 3 minutes, but The Usos and Drew did enough to make this pretty fun for that little time. Drew gets most of the time, and after Slater crotches one of the Usos up top, Drew hits the Future Shock for the win. ** In the back, Josh asks Wade about his match with Randall tonight. He says he's an expert at taking the Viper out of the game, and he'll do it again tonight. Kofi Kingston comes out to do commentary. Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett This happens again. It gets said a lot of of face Randy Orton that he just recycles the same spots in the same order all the time, and that's not usually true, but I feel like every Wade/Orton match in the last third of 2012 has actually just been the same match more or less, sometimes just with them skipping stuff due to time. They got 6 minutes here, so this was probably the worst one. Kofi stops Wade from taking off the turnbuckle pad, and Wade turns around into the RKO so Orton can win. *3/4 Match #4: The Colons vs. The Great Khali/Hornswoggle Rosa and Natalya are there. This is Primo and Epico bumping like lunatics for Khali before Epico is beat with the Brain Chop and Tadpole Splash. Fuck everything RAW REBOUND! In a pretape, The Shield have stolen a camera. They introduce themselves again, and Rollins says they don't just know injustice, and Roman says they've lived it. Ambrose says CM Punk was disrespected again, and The Miz got welcomed to consequences. Rollins welcomes Randy Orton to payback, and Reigns says they are a shield to injustice. Rollins says Team Hell No found out that nobody says no to The Shield, and Ambrose says Ryback's been handed success on a silver platter and put on a pedastal, but they knocked him off. Rollins says they work for each other, not anybody else. Reigns says welcome to the shield of justice, and Ambrose says they can bring tables, ladders, and chairs, but The Shield brings the sword. featured an in-ring promo by WWE US Champion Antonio Cesaro in which he insulted the American crowd, saying they looked like the 'American Dream' before showing a photo of Dusty Rhodes on the big screen; moments later, R-Truth interrupted from the entrance stage, praised the American people for working hard in the face of difficulties; the two continued to have words, with Truth entering the ring and tackling Cesaro, with Cesaro eventually rolling out to the floor and leaving the belt behind Match #5: Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio Fuck this show. I hate Smackdown so much, this is horrible. This is super super mediocre again and nobody cares at all. Big Show comes out to watch. ADR predictably works on the arm, but since he's not winning this match, he absolutely doesn't care about actually looking good and his arm work is tepid and uninspired as always when he's not winning. Sheamus does his thing and sort of sells, and then wins with the Texas Cloverleaf. *3/4 Big Show comes down and dares Sheamus to hit him, so Sheamus throws Ricardo head-first into Big Show's dick to be funny. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 31 2013, 01:04 PM Post #188 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw December 10th, 2012 Newark, NJ Dolph Ziggler opens the show on top of a ladder with his briefcase hanging, and has the mic too. He says he's on top of the world where he belongs. He says he's here to talk about the numbers 6 and 15. 6 being the number of days until TLC, and 15 being the number until Christmas. For John Cena, TLC IS Christmas because after he blew his MITB contract, The Golden Boy was handed a million opportunities and failed every time, and now he gets one more. Santa Claus has forced him to put his contract on the line in a Ladder Match. He says this isn't going to be a good Christmas for John Cena, and he's going to be the coal in his stocking, shut him up, and beat him once and for all. Then he's going to cash in MITB on The Big Show and go on to be the greatest World Champion ever. Sheamus comes out to be awful. He says he's going to beat The Big Show and then face John Cena when he cashed in on him. Big Show interrupts and says he's going to hold this forever, in spite of chairs and ladders and a contract. He dares Sheamus to hit him before TLC. Sheamus says he can't hit Show, but he can do this, and tips the ladder over like an asshole. After the break, Vince comes onto the stage and books Cena vs. Big Show tonight. OH GOD DAMNIT. WHY? He then brings Vickie out and strongarms her into booking Sheamus/Ziggler again. He says he wants a third match and Vickie says AJ should have a match, so Vince books AJ vs. Vickie. Kofi Kingston and Antonio Cesaro come out to do commentary. Match #1: Wade Barrett vs. R-Truth This is a minute long and Wade wins with a roll up. 3/4* Kofi then comes in and hits Wade with a Frogbody. In the back, AJ is happy about her match and hugs Kaitlyn. She says she wants go to tell John and Kaitlyn says he's in the locker room, so she should wait. She ignores that and comes right in. Gabriel and someone else are in towels and walk away, and she hugs Cena. It is super awkward and he quickly gets her out of there. He mouths "I'm sorry" to everyone else and they go out into the hallway. Match #2: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. The Prime Time Players vs. The Usos vs. The Colons [#1 Contender's Qualifying Elimination Match] Apparently, the winners fight Rey and Cara at the PPV in an actual contender's match. Cody's mustache debuts here. This is only like 6 minutes, but really good. The Usos and Colons work amazingly again, and this is basically just two different Usos matches that we see and three total. One of the Usos eliminates Epico first with the Flying Splash, which then means that pairing is done, so that's a bummer. Usos then fight the PTP, but we miss all of it since PTP are gone after the break, also going down to the Splash. FUCK YEAH USO PUSH SORTA. Usos vs. Rhodes and Sandow is really good. Cody gets his knees up to finally block the Splash, and hits the Cross Rhodes to win. **1/2 Match #3: Eve vs. Alicia Fox Solid little showcase for Eve, who continues to infuriatingly be really good now that she's on her way out the door in the next month or so. Eve wins with the Corkscrew Neckbreaker. *1/4 CM Punk and Paul Heyman come onto the stage, and Punk is on crutches. Punk says it's come to their attention that there's some people who think this injury is phony. People think his surgery did not actually take place and in some elaborate scheme to duck another title match with Ryback, it was all a ruse. He assures everyone that this is 100% real life and it's what happens when you work harder than anyone else and when you're WWE Champion for 386 grueling days. Injuries happen, because it's a tough sport. They show clips of Rybork's injury causing attack last week and Paul says on a personal basis, the fans are ticking him off and asks how dare they chant "FEED ME MORE" at the reigning WWE Champion six days after emergency surgery. Paul s. ays this is a legitimate champion, unlike the NJ Devils who haven't won a title in how many years. He didn't have a stunt double like The Rock, and he's not complaining about the injury, he's standing out here like the champion that he is and just informing you about his injury. Paul says The Rock only shows up when he has a title opportunity, and Ryback is no longer in front of them. CM Punk is looking towards The Rock at the Royal Rumble now because CM Punk isn't going anywhere. He remains your reigning and defending WWE Champion and most importantly, the best in the world. Punk takes the mic back and says some people say he should be stripped of the WWE Title, and the notion that he would hide from a man who's not even smart enough to keep the champion healthy for his match with him IS RIDICULOUS. He dares anyone to come strip him, because John Cena couldn't take it from him. The Big Show, Ziggler, ADR, The Miz, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Chris Jericho, and he's forgetting people because it's A REAL LONG LIST, AND IT INCLUDES RYBACK. The Rock gets ONE shot, and he guarantees and promises that The Rock will also fail. He says he WILL be present at TLC to watch, and he's going to watch The Shield do to Ryback what Ryback did to him last week. Match #4: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler This is again very good, but not great. This is their longest TV match yet, and Dolph comes in with his thigh taped up due to the fall in the opening segment, so Sheamus actually has focus for once early on. Ziggler has to overcome something to take over, so it feels like a real accomplishment then. He hits a sweet Springboard Fameasser on the floor using the steps to take over. They don't really DO anything for most of the middle though, and clearly hold back stuff at the end before Ziggler hits Sheamus with a chair for the DQ. **1/2 Sheamus ends up driving Ziggler out anyways because WWE. The Shield promo from Smackdown is re-aired because nobody watches Smackdown due to the destruction of that show over the last year. Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder This gets six and a half minutes, because once again, the time management decisions for WWE TV at this point are made with a random dartboard. Ryder gets in way too much offense and ADR's shit goes on WAY too long before he obviously wins with the shitty Cross Armbreaker. *1/2 NEXT WEEK: THE SLAMMIES! Match #6: AJ Lee vs. Vickie Guerrero Brad Maddox is the referee here, and this is a two minute angle. AJ beats up Vickie and has this won, but Brad won't count. AJ gets in his face, and Vickie gets a roll up for a fast three count. 1/2* AJ throws a fit after the match when they flee and throws chairs at ringside. She tips over the ringside ladder and slaps the shit out of Justin Roberts before storming off and shrieking. In the back, John Cena tries to calm down AJ and says she's wrecking the place. He hugs her until she stops yelling and looks totally freaked out. Before the match, Cesaro says he travels this once-proud country every week, and America has gone rotten. And nowhere is that more obvious than here in New Jersey. He says the real truth is that nobody needs him as US Champion than everyone here. Match #7: Antonio Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston They get 10 minutes, and Claudio gets a little better at carrying Kofi here. He doesn't sell shitty strikes as much so this looks a lot better, and he controls for a lot longer. Of course, Kofi then gets really horrible with his slow and contrived "athletic" stuff when he comes back so this isn't a ton better than Main Event. Cesaro wins with The Neutralizer, so this at least ends correctly. **1/4 included a segment of Miz TV at the entrance stage in which Mike Mizanin introduced Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes as his guests; moments later, the two made fun of Miz before saying they were the future WWE Tag Team Champions; after they went backstage, Miz referred to them as "The Pink & the Stink;" In the back, John Cena WALKS~, but AJ stops him. She asks if she can come to ringside and return the favor. Cena says he's got this and she can just stay here. AJ says it'll be fine and she wants to be there, and Cena says it's best if he goes out here and she stays back here. AJ agrees and says she'll watch back here. Dolph Ziggler comes out to do commentary. Match #8: John Cena vs. The Big Show Hey, it's this again. Show gets super slow with his beatdown that's been fun lately, since these two will almost always produce a bad match in 2012. He works the ribs, and Cena doesn't really bother selling because this match isn't important at all. And yet, he overcomes everything and hits the FU. The Shield then comes and attacks Cena for the DQ. *3/4 Team Hell No comes out to save, and Ziggler and Show join in. Sheamus comes to chase Ziggler off, and Ryback comes to help the others clear the ring. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 31 2013, 01:37 PM Post #189 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT December 12th, 2012 Orlando, FL TONIGHT: ROLLINS/JINDER FOR THE NXT TITLE! Match #1: Paige vs. Sasha Banks Another good short women's match on NXT. Banks isn't amazing or anything, but she gets through this without embarrassing herself a ton. Paige hits the Paige Turner for the win. *3/4 In the back, Tony Dawson is with Roman Reigns and says they finally have the interview. Reigns asks what he means by finally, like they operate on his time. Reigns says it's about his schedule and says he wears the big watch. He's making this show relevant, and his phone rings. Reigns answers and walks away without answering any questions. Clips air from after the show last week, of Regal helping Tyson Kidd to the back. In the back, Kassius Ohno and Leo Kruger cut a promo. Ohno says it's Richie, Trent, and Tyson Kidd. Three guys who had the audacity to cross them and found themselves in need of intensive care. Leo says there will be more than three trophies, and Ohno says he expected more from a rogue such as William Regal, but if he gets the bright idea to get in their business again, he guarantees that he'll see him in the ICU. Bray Wyatt comes out and says love keeps him immortal. He says when people love you, they'll do anything for you, and that's what power is. He says he loves his opponent enough tonight to show him what true power is all about, and wishes him luck against his new opponent. He then brings out his son, and it's Rowan. Match #2: Eric Rowan w/ Bray Wyatt vs. Oliver Grey Grey again is really impressive in a losing effort. Rowan isn't really anything special besides being big, but Grey makes it look awesome and has sweet comebacks of European Uppercuts. Rowan wins with a Sidewalk Slam. *1/4 Dusty Rhodes comes out and says he has a little State of the Union for everybody, and he hypes the main event. He says he wants to talk about somebody dear to their hearts, Ms. Vickie Guerrero. He says she's welcome here any time, but she makes no decisions while NXT is on his watch. The NFL says there's no more bounties, so she can't come out here and put a bounty on somebody. Dusty is subservient to Roger Goodell apparently. Dusty tells Big E not to worry about it, but Camacho comes out. He says there's still a bounty, Jefe. Dusty says not to call him Jefe, and Camacho asks if he likes El Capitan better, and Dusty pumps his fist and says he loves El Capitan. Camacho says he needs that money to get Hunico out of Mexican prison. AMAZING. Big E Langston comes out and Dusty books them in a handicap match next week, and tells Camacho to get a partner. In the back, The Big Show accepts Bo Dallas' challenge for next week and says he doesn't belong in wrestling. Match #3: Seth Rollins [c] vs. Jinder Mahal [NXT Championship] After doing this entire build as an evil Arab, Jinder is now coming out to the 3MB song and in leather. Amazing. This generally happens, and Tyler cannot carry anybody at all, so this pretty much just happens for 10-15 minutes, which feels like a punishment. Jinder works the back, and Tyler being Tyler, he doesn't sell it even a little bit until after the match. They do stuff, and Rollins gets the win with the Standing Sliced Bread #2. *3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 31 2013, 01:53 PM Post #190 |
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Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal, Superstars (December 13th) I don't have the Main Event file for this week, but these teams had a match there where 3MB won, so this is a thing now. They made the positive step of putting Drew in the ring for 3MB stuff, but then Jinder is still in there, so it's not all the way there yet. Kidd vs. Drew is awesome, and Drew gets some solid stuff out of Gabriel too. Drew hits an amazing Spinebuster on the apron for a transition and is great in control. Kidd's hot tag is good stuff as usual, but Slater interferes and Jinder hits a Half Nelson Slam to win. **1/4 The Prime Time Players vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel, Saturday Morning Slam (December 15th) All about Kidd and Gabriel on the b-shows this week, I guess. Another entertaining SMS tag. Kidd and Gabriel do low-level flippy stuff since it's only SMS, and Titus continues to show some great power spots. PTP continue to disappointingly be at their best on b-shows when nobody is watching. Kidd and Gabriel have some sweet dives too, but Gabriel isn't as good of a hot tag as Tyson. They win with a Springboard Moonsault followed by Kidd's Springboard Elbow. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 31 2013, 05:26 PM Post #191 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown December 14th, 2012 Bridgeport, CT At the open of the show, Sheamus and Cesaro are sitting ringside for commentary. Match #1: The Big Show vs. R-Truth This is a solid enough Big Show squash. They don't give Truth more than 5 minutes, which is good since that would have been both horrible and a huge jump in logic given his push. Cesaro argues with Truth on the floor in the middle, until Sheamus shoves him down. KO Punch ends it. *1/2 Show gets in Sheamus' face on the floor, and Cesaro gets revenge by shoving Sheamus into Show! Cesaro runs away, and Show yells that Sheamus touched him and he should lose his title shot and walks away bragging. following the commercial break, Show went to Booker T backstage and said Sheamus's title shot was called off, with Booker saying the match was on and questioned whether Show was scared of Sheamus Match #2: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. The Usos This is JIP, so we only get three to four minutes instead of probably six or seven, which is pretty upsetting. The Usos look awesome once again. Cody and Sandow still don't really click together in the ring, but are two good singles wrestlers, so they're hardly bad or anything. There's a really good hot tag yet again, and Sandow gets a roll up holding the shorts to steal it. ** included an in-ring segment in which Show and Otunga said they would go to the WWE Board of Directors about Booker not calling off Show's title match with Sheamus and that Otunga would also seek to remove Booker from his job; moments later, Booker interrupted, said the title match was still on, and Otunga's law degree wasn't worth the paper it was printed on; Otunga then made a joke about Booker having been to prison, with Sheamus coming out with a steel chair and telling Show there was nothing stopping him from attacking him with the chair then and there if the match was called off; Show then agreed that the contract was still valid and left the ring; Sheamus then dropped Otunga with the boot to the face In the back, The Shield is beating down Randy Orton and he is unconscious. Match #3: Kaitlyn vs. Aksana They get four minutes, so this is alright. Aksana does some stuff, and Kaitlyn makes a comeback. She wins with a Gutbuster. *1/4 It's time for Miz TV, and a rare one that I actually watch. He talks about The Shield and then brings out Team Hell No out as his guests. Miz asks how it felt, and Bryan stops him and asks if he's Oprah. He says they've been in anger management for months talking about feelings, but the time for talking is over. And on Sunday, all that anger that they tell him to put away is going to be unleashed on The Shield until they beg for it to stop. Kane says The Shield made big mistakes attacking them, because now they're finally on the same page, and that's bad news. They're unstoppable now, and Kane says they will use tables, ladders, and chairs, AND BRYAN YELLS YES AGAIN! FACE TURN COMPLETE. The Shield steals a camera in the back though, and they introduce themselves again. Ambrose says they've been listening to their empty threats and they'll find out like Randy Orton did when you threaten The Shield. Rollins says justice is what happens, because they are the harbingers of justice and they and Ryback are three of the main perpetrators of injustice. Reigns says they forced their hand. Rollins asks if Bryan thinks he's protected, and Reigns says Kane was a monster, but now he's a victim. Ambrose says in 48 hours, they bring the sword, and justice will be served. Kane says to do it now, and Reigns says they agree then, and the camera turns off. The Shield comes from the crowd, but Ryback comes to the ring first! The Shield stops and goes back into the crowd. Match #4: The Prime Time Players/The Colons vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel/The Great Khali/Hornswoggle This is like 3/4ths of a great eight man. The women are on the floor as usual. This is only three minutes, and about half of that is Khali and Hornswoggle comedy. But when Kidd and Gabriel get in against The Colons, it's really awesome for the 90 or so seconds that it lasts. Kidd blocks a Sunset Flip from Primo and sits down on it for the win. *3/4 They then dive onto the PTP on the floor. TONIGHT: SHEAMUS VS. CESARO Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston Hey look, this was horrible again. They get 10 minutes, and neither can fill time effectively, so half of that is aimless and horrible looking back and forth since they're afraid of matwork. ADR then works over the arm, but does it in his usual tepid and half-assed manner, so he's probably losing here. Kofi doesn't sell a singular fucking thing about his arm, and wins with a roll up in kind of an upset, but not really, because nobody cares enough to sell it. *1/4 Wade tries to sneak attack Kofi, but Kofi catches him with the fucking kick. They decide to just air the Sheamus/Ziggler stuff from Raw instead of giving this 5-10 minute block to the main event or Usos/TRS. Fuck this company, man. Match #6: Sheamus vs. Antonio Cesaro They get 7 minutes, and these two match up REALLY well, so this is good again. It's not great like their first match, but Claudio drags Sheamus through matwork, and they hit each other hard for a while until the angle happens at the end. They avoid any of the real big stuff though, and Big Show then drags out William Regal onto the stage with a chair, and he's beat up. Sheamus is distracted on the floor, so he gets counted out! **1/2 Sheamus goes up to the stage, and Show dares him to hit him. Regal warns him not to so Sheamus doesn't do anything, so Show kills Regal with a chair shot. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 1 2013, 08:57 PM Post #192 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE TLC 2012 Decemebr 16th, 2012 Brooklyn, NY Chrome randomly shat itself and shut down while I was typing up the review of the main event, so this clearly isn't meant to see the light of day. Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara [#1 Contenders Table Match] - **3/4 Antonio Cesaro [c] vs. R-Truth [WWE U.S. Championship] - ** Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Wade Barrett [WWE Intercontinental Championship] - *3/4 Team Hell No/Ryback vs. The Shield [TLC Match] - ***3/4 Eve [c] vs. Naomi [WWE Divas Championship] - *1/2 The Big Show [c] vs. Sheamus [World Heavyweight Championship - Chairs Match] - **3/4 Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/The Brooklyn Brawler vs. 3MB - * John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler [Ladder Match for MITB] - *** -AJ turns on Cena and shoves him off the ladder to cost him the match |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 5 2013, 01:06 PM Post #193 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw - THE SLAMMY AWARDS December 17th, 2012 Philadelphia, PA Match #1: Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow They both have their tag partners with them, and while this sounds promising, this is the Slammies and it's 2012, so every match will be sacrificed except for probably something absolutely terrible so the awards and segments can have 90% of the show. Rey and Sandow do stuff for three minutes, and Rey hits the 619 and Penguin Splash to win. *3/4 The Slammies are entirely voted on by the WWE Universe this year via the WWE APP DOWNLOAD IT NOW WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO DOWNLOAD A FUCKING PHONE APP IN 2013, so every result is going to be horrible shit. Booker T comes out to present the award for the "Tell Me I Did Not Just See That" moment of the year, which is Shocker of the Year, basically. The nominees are Kofi's Rumble handstand, Braddox's low blow on Rybork, 18 Seconds, and Punk's turn on The Rock. Before he can announce anything, The Boogeyman comes out to scare Booker T. YES! Coming back from break, he's gone and Booker gives Kofi the award. Ugh. Horrible. Match #2: Eve vs. Kaitlyn They only get 2 minutes because Slammies, but this is solid again. It's super rushed, but Kaitlyn wins with the Gutbuster. *1/4 Kaitlyn puts the belt on Eve on the mat, and poses next to her for photographers in a reversal of Eve's thing. The New Age Outlaws return to present Comeback of the Year. It doesn't matter what the nominees are, this is a guaranteed win for Lawler anyways. Match #3: Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai This is literally a minute long, and Kofi wins with the fucking kick. 1/2* Post-match, Wade attacks Kofi on the floor and lays him out with the Bullhammer. LOOK AT HOW TO DOWNLOAD THE WWE APP. Vickie Guerrero comes out to present the Kiss of the Year award, and it's between AJ/Daniel, AJ/Kane, AJ/Punk, and AJ/Cena. Vickie says she would never abuse her authority to coerce other superstars into a romantic relationship like AJ did, but the winner is AJ, obviously, and John Cena. AJ comes out to accept and Vickie asks her to explain her actions to everyone and Dolph Ziggler. AJ snatches the award and says she doesn't owe anyone anything. For the last year, she's cared a lot about what people think about her, including her and the fans, but not anymore. Vickie says she's trash and everyone knows it, and Dolph was right. They argue and Dolph Ziggler comes out to break it up. AJ stops and says that Kiss of the Year was nothing compared to this, AND SHE MOUNTS DOLPH AND STARTS MAKING OUT. DOLPH GOES WITH IT AND VICKIE STORMS OFF! AMAZING! Match #4: David Otunga vs. The Great Khali w/ Natalya They're just rubbing in now how useless these matches are. This gets under 2 minutes, and it's as terrible as it always is. Khali wins with the brain chop. 45/Poop SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR NOMINEES: PUNK, CENA, SHEAMUS, BIG SHOW! This is a super obvious choice. Cena's been losing big matches all year, Show only came alive and actually did successfully in the last two months, and Sheamus' big thing is a long World Title run, so logically, Punk beats him out there, having won the title all year. Also having beaten Cena and Show in title matches and having beaten Sheamus twice. RIC GOD DAMNED FLAIR COMES OUT TO PRESENT THE AWARD! He hypes up the crowd amazingly and says he's glad to be back, and he'd like to tell everyone where he'll be later tonight, but he might get in trouble for that. He hands out the award AND IT FUCKING GOES TO JOHN CENA SOMEHOW?! COLLUSION. THIS ENTIRE CEREMONY IS SUSPECT. John says this award embodies hustle, loyalty, and respect and the person who wins has to work harder than anyone else and he also recognizes the loyalty of the WWE Universe, and out of respect, he can't accept this. He says this should go to the greatest of all time, and gives it to Ric Flair! At least we're done with that Shawn Michaels lie. Cena leaves the award with Ric, BUT THEN PUNK AND HEYMAN COME OUT. ![]() Punk yells at the fans that they screwed him, and says this is ridiculous. He says this doesn't belong to Ric, and he hasn't been here in years, and any vote for John Cena AT ALL is ATROCIOUS. HE GOT BEAT BY THE ROCK, HE BEAT HIM AT SUMMERSLAM AND NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS, HE LOST LAST NIGHT, HE'S THE FIRST ONE TO LOSE CASHING IN MONEY IN THE BANK. HE'S A LOSER LIKE ALL OF PHILADELPHIA AND RIC FLAIR. He says he used to listen to Shawn Michaels preach to everyone when he was a rookie and say all he ever wanted to be when he grew up was Ric Flair, but he doesn't want to be Ric Flair. He never wanted to be anybody but him, and last year after he won the WWE Title, he won Superstar of the Year, AND HE'S HAD TWICE AS GOOD A YEAR THIS YEAR. HE STILL HASN'T LOST THE TITLE, SO THIS AWARD IS HIS BY RIGHTS. 393 DAYS. HE'S THE MAN NOW. NOT JOHN CENA, AND NOT RIC FLAIR. HE'S THE MAN, AND NOBODY HAS BEAT THE MAN. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Flair asks if he wants to know what time it is, because the diamonds on this Rolex make it hard. Punk yells that it's clobbering time, and he knows that. Flair says it's time for him to go, and he can't even walk. He says he's got enough baggage with him that he can't walk a block, and that's Paul behind him. Flair says he's been watching, and Punk says he could kick his ass with one leg. Punk asks if Ric Flair REALLY wants to talk about baggage. Flair asks if he means his two HOF rings or his four ex-wives, and Punk says he's glad he said it first. Punk says he could take everyone in Philly on one leg too. FLAIR THROWS OFF HIS JACKET AND SAYS TO DO IT, AND FLAIR GOES TO THE RING! PAUL TRIES TO STOP PUNK, BUT PUNK GOES THROUGH WITH IT! Coming back from break, Punk gets in the ring and hits Flair with the crutch! He does the Fargo strut on one leg, BUT FLAIR GOES TO THE EYES! FIGURE FOUR ON HEYMAN! Flair finally lets go, and he gets on the mic before saying he just came to have a good time, and tells Lawler that he loves him and they'll never die. He says he told Vince that he wants to die in the ring or with a woman from Philadelphia, and he's had more fun than any man should have, AND HE GOT PAID FOR IT. BUT THE SHIELD COMES OUT! Flair challenges them to come on down, and JBL losing it pleading with Flair to get out now makes it. TEAM HELL NO COMES OUT TO SAVE AND THEY FIGHT! AND IT RULES. The Shield gets Flair down, and they beat down Kane and Bryan on the floor. They pull Flair out to the floor and set him up for the Triple Powerbomb, BUT RYBACK COMES OUT! KANE AND BRYAN FIGHT BACK! RYBACK HITS A PRESS SLAM TO ROLLINS ON THE TABLE! THE SHIELD FLEES AND RYBACK AND TEAM HELL NO STAND WITH FLAIR IN THE RING! Amazing 15 minutes from the Punk/Flair stuff to this. Some of the best WWE stuff of 2012. Match #5: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. JTG Another meaningless squash as punishment for something. 1/4* featured Santino Marella and Tensai, his head heavily bandaged, presenting the nominees for "LOL Moment of the Year;" after Tensai didn't read his lines, Marella joked that Tensai was Japanese for "Fat Albert;" nominees were the Rock tossing Cena merchandise into the ocean, Bryan & Kane in anger management class, Randy Orton dumping food on Ricardo Rodriguez backstage and shoving Matt Striker's head in a cake, and Vickie dancing; included a Tribute to the Troops ad featuring Miss Piggy and Flo-Rida; following the commercial break, the Rock was announced as the winner; Marella then said Rock could not be there to accept in person and he would keep it; Bryan then came out and sait it was his Slammy, with Kane having to carry him backstage Match #6: Cody Rhodes vs. Sin Cara Partners are there again, and this now gets 4 minutes as the longest match so far, about halfway in. Cody wins clean with Cross Rhodes. *3/4 included Zack Ryder & Layla introducing nominees for "The Trending Now # of the Year" -- #FeedMeMore, #PeoplePower, #LittleJimmy, and #WWWYKI; following the commercial break, #FeedMeMore was announced the winner The Big Show comes out with Big Chair to maybe end the string of awful things, and he gets on the mic. Show says he's not upset about not getting Superstar of the Year, but he's used to everyone letting him down, and he's still the World Heavyweight Champion. Show asks why people boo him, and all he did was beat Sheamus like he said he would. He says Sheamus would agree that he was the better man. Sheamus comes out when Show refuses to talk after "WHAT" chants. He says it was a hell of a fight and they beat each other up, but Show was the better man. Show gloats about it, but they shake hands. Sheamus goes to leave and Show tells him to get to the back of the line and calls him a potato eating Irishman, so Sheamus tackles him and beats him up with Big Chair. Sheamus leaves, AND DOLPH ZIGGLER RUNS OUT TO CASH IN! YES! But John Cena runs out to fight him away and hits the FU, because Cena's a dick. Ziggler didn't screw Cena last night, AJ did. No reason for him to be a sore loser like this. In the back, Ziggler yells at Vickie to do something about that, but she's mad about the kiss. She asked why AJ helped him at TLC, and he says she's old, tired, and ugly, and he's had enough of this, so she books Ziggler and AJ against her and Cena. Great. It's 3MB vs. Miz, ADR, and another mystery partner, and it's Tommy Dreamer. Great. Match #7: Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Tommy Dreamer vs. Heath Slater/Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal AND THIS IS THE MATCH THAT GETS 11 MINUTES. Fuck so much about this show, oh my god. It goes on forever and feels like punishment because ADR and Miz are pretty horrible babyfaces since they have no real fire or ability to get sympathy. Tommy is Tommy Dreamer in 2012, but still might be the best at being an actual babyface on his team. He beats Slater with a DDT. *1/4 Sheamus comes out to present the award for Newcomer of the Year. The nominees are Ryback, Cesaro, Brodus Clay, and Damien Sandow. The winner is obviously Ryback, and he comes out. He channels some Owen and yells that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, AND IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE. He says he is that change, and goes to the ring for his match. Match #8: Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro This is only two and a half minutes, and it's about 90 seconds of Cesaro headbutts and uppercuts before Ryback fights back. Cesaro bails out instead of taking the Meathook, and runs away to take a count out loss. *3/4 Ricky Steamboat, JR, and Mean Gene come out to present Match of the Year. The nominees are Cena/Lesnar, H/Taker, Show/Sheamus, and Cena/Rock. Fan voting gives it to the match that's been blown all year with H/Taker, but it's the least offensive of the Universe voting results so far, since Cena/Lesnar is only just a little better. Triple H comes out with short hair now to accept and says they haven't seen the last of The Undertaker. In the back, The Shield beats up Tommy Dreamer, as Ambrose finally gets his revenge. Ricardo tries to help for some reason and also gets beat up before referees make them leave. AJ comes out for the main event, and coming back from break, she's standing high up on a ladder with a microphone. She says people keep asking her why she would betray everyone's hero at TLC. She says she stopped at a gas station last night and people asked her why, and a busboy asked her why, and an hour ago, the Divas asked her why too, but that might have been about making out with Dolph Ziggler. She says it's supposed to be obvious, but Vickie comes out to interrupt. AJ gets down off the ladder, but then Ziggler comes out and I guess we get no explanation. Match #9: John Cena/Vickie Guerrero vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ This is 4 minutes, and mostly just an angle. Vickie walks out on the match and it's all Cena/Ziggler. AJ leaves when Cena is in control, BUT COMES BACK OUT WITH FUCKING BIG E. LANGSTON AND HE ATTACKS CENA FOR THE DQ. *1/2 BIG GOD DAMNED ENDING ON CENA! AJ skips around as Langston stands over Cena. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 5 2013, 04:03 PM Post #194 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown - COMMERCIAL FREE BECAUSE FUCK EVERYTHING December 18th, 2012 Pittsburgh, PA Commercial free means this is two full hours, so it's basically like another Raw. TONIGHT: CENA/SHEAMUS VS. ZIGGLER/SHOW Miz TV opens the show and brings out Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee as his guests, and they have Big E. Langston behind them. They kiss again, so it's now official and fantastic that this trio is a thing. Miz asks why, so AJ asks REALLY? Fantastic. AJ says John Cena toyed with her heart, and she'd like to know why. She says she lost her job because she wanted to protect John's name, and she thought it might have been worth it, but he was playing with her. She wanted to shout their love from the rooftop and made him gifts and wanted to support him, but John only cares about himself. She says John was supposed to be different than Daniel Bryan and CM Punk because he always talked about how he was a better and more honest man, but he's even worse. She says Cena wanted to keep them a secret and he treated her like trash. John Cena broke her heart, so she helped Ziggler break John Cena. Miz calls her crazy, but Big E gets in front, and Miz asks who this is. AJ says this is her friend Big E Langston and doesn't like that word. Miz says to skip around the ring and Ziggler says he's hilarious as always, but totally clueless. Ziggler says AJ isn't -- and tells AJ to earmuff it, which she does -- crazy, she's passionate, and he learned that last night. He says he doesn't want Cena's undeserved Slammy, because he's got the contract, and just like his t-shirt, he stole the show AND his girlfriend. Miz makes more bad jokes, so Big E blindsides him. BIG ENDING. FUCK YEAH. AJ then says SHOW. OFF., and this is the perfect trio. included a backstage segment in which Teddy Long brought Brad Maddox to Booker T for Booker to consider giving a job to; Booker then brought Long aside, with Booker saying he didn't trust him and Long saying Maddox had talent and a good social media presence; Long then said he was hungry for a contract and Booker agreed to give him a match Match #1: Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow w/ Cody Rhodes No Rey here, so I guess he got injured again after two matches back? They wonder about where he is though, so I guess it's an angle. They actually stick with the commercial free thing, so this gets six real minutes. Sin Cara does alright, and while Sandow isn't great at the lucha bumping or guiding Sin Cara, he does alright at catching him at least. The Shield comes out through the crowd for a distraction, AND THEY THROW REY'S MASK IN THE RING! YES! Sandow hits the Straightjacket Neckbreaker off the distraction for the win. ** They beat down Sin Cara after the match, and Roman and Ambrose hold his leg out, AND ROLLINS HITS A FLYING KNEE DROP TO DESTROY SIN CARA'S LEG! AWESOME! Match #2: Santino Marella vs. Tensai Tensai gets four minutes, and this is alright. He does his fun big man offense for a few minutes before they remember where this match is taking place, and Santino comes back with the Santino offense, and he wins with the Cobra. *1/2 Clips air from the amazing Ric Flair segment from the Slammies. In the back, Kane tells Kofi to grow eyes in the back of his head if he wants to be ANY help, since they know The Shield is there. Kofi says he has to let him get his hands on Wade Barrett then and says payback is in order. Bryan is mad, and says didn't he LOL more about anger management than The Rock's stupid vandalism of Cena's stuff. Kane says he has to stop being mad about losing out on a Slammy, and Kofi then shows his off. Kane says he got to hang out with Ric Flair, and Kofi says WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO would win best catchphrase. Bryan is irate and yells NO a lot. Match #3: Team Hell No/Kofi Kingston vs. The Prime Time Players/Wade Barrett This gets 10 minutes, but it's held back by Kofi being in there so much. He's the FIP, which means he works like half the match. There's also a ton of Kane and PTP and virtually no Bryan, which is why this kind of fails as far as what it could have been. The PTP set up for a Double Tackle on Kane, but Bryan trips up Titus, and D-Young runs into a Chokeslam for the win. ** In the back, Cena and Sheamus talk about lots of stuff and are both pretty terrible and hammy about how strong Big Show and Big E Langston are. CM Punk and Paul Heyman come out to the ring, and Punk gets on the mic. He says this is day 394 and he knows that in 20 years, people will look back fondly upon him as the greatest WWE Champion of all time, none of them can even appreciate him through their ignorance, bias, and disrespect and vote for him as the Superstar of the Year. Instead, they shamefully turn the Slammys into a popularity contest and a sham of an awards show and give John Cena an award that he never deserved. He says it's becoming clear that winning and losing no longer mean anything to all of them, and all they did last night was prove that nobody should be allowed the vote. He targets a fat man and calls him a sloth, which is wonderful. He says there's winners, like he and Paul, and then there's losers, like everyone in Pittsburgh. He says he expected more from John Cena though, and you can tell that Cena KNOWS that the trophy belongs to the WWE Champion, but he laid down. He sucked up to a man like Ric Flair and gives HIS award away. He says he wants them to cheer for guys like Ric who come back for alimony money, and says winning a title ONCE and not losing for 400 days is SO more impressive than winning it 16 times. He says Ric Flair has lost more title matches than he's won if you look at those DQ and count out stats, BUT HE HASN'T LOST YET. He says he's set the bar so high that nobody can touch it and two weeks after surgery, he's here and not at home on pain pills and immobile, dragging himself to this forgotten wasteland to try and entertain them. The Penguins went on strike, but he doesn't go on strike or have an offseason, because he's the one carrying this place on his back. He'll be back next year with the belt because nobody's beating him for it. Not Cena, not Ryback, not Ric Flair, not The Rock, not Stone Cold, and Ryback then comes out. He gets the mic and says on the first Raw of 2013, he'll become WWE Champion. FEED HIM OAR. Match #4: Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro They get 5 full minutes now, and Cesaro makes Ryback look amazing. He does all his awesome strikes, and they play off the count out finish from the previous night, with Cesaro using it to bait Ryback out where he can take over after a steps bump. His control segment is all big power offense, but Ryback makes his comeback and wins clean with Shellshocked. **1/4 In the back, Kaitlyn WALKS~, and AJ wishes her luck and hugs her. Kaitlyn asks where this is coming from, and they haven't talked in a while. AJ blows it off and Kaitlyn says she has a title match next. AJ asks if she's choosing a title match over her friend, and Kaitlyn says she's choosing a title match over the lunatic she's become, so they fight and get pulled apart. Match #5: Eve [c] vs. Kaitlyn [WWE Divas Championship] They get about six minutes here, so this commercial free thing is actually working out pretty well as far as matches getting time. These two work really well again, as Eve does her weirdly competent female Ric Flair act. They try super hard and have some actual good nearfalls, but Eve refuses to let go of the referee's leg on the mat, and gets herself DQ'd. **1/4 Eve runs away with the title smiling. Match #6: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. Brad Maddox Brad gets squashed again, and it's a ton of fun. And a ton of funk. Singular. Brodus wins with the Big Splash. *1/4 SIERRA. HOTEL. INDIA. ECHO. LIMA. DELTA. The Shield comes back out and murders Brodus before hitting the Triple Powerbomb. Match #7: John Cena/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/The Big Show w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston This gets 11-12 minutes, so it's pretty great. It's almost not great though, because Cena was FIP for most of the first half, so that meant a lot of Cena/Show. Ziggler's stuff was good, and Show/Sheamus ruled again in the second half and finishing run, so it's just that weird Cena/Show reverse chemistry since mid-2009. Show got super violent with the control seg on Sheamus, and Cena's hot tag was good. Cena kicks out of the Peace Zig AGAIN in his one-man effort to kill the finish off completely. Cena then hits the FU within 20 seconds of that, before Big E gets on him for the DQ. **3/4 Ziggler and AJ make out over Cena, and Big E stands behind them. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 5 2013, 05:07 PM Post #195 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT December 19th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: The Usos vs. The Colons w/ Rosa Mendes YEAH! This is really good as always from the two best actual long term teams in the WWE, and they get enough time to have a real tag match. They had several minutes of actual matwork led by the Colons, then a real babyface shine before the great Usos dives. The Colons take over and have actual hope spots and cut-offs to build up the hot tag, and then the finishing run rules. Flying Splash beats Primo. There's still that little something undefinable that's missing from The Usos to make them totally great, but they get there in 2013, so it's whatever. **3/4 The Ascension comes on the screen and says the war isn't over. Go away. TONIGHT: BO VS. SHOW Match #2: Big E Langston vs. Camacho/Aiden English This is only a minute, and Camacho quickly leaves Aiden to get killed. Big's squash abilities make this wonderful, and he wins with the Big Ending. *1/2 Big E hits it again, and counts to FIVE. Camacho watches from the stage, and Langston hits the Big Ending a third time and counts to FIVE again. Match #3: Kassius Ohno vs. Percy Watson Hero carries this loser for five minutes and hits him really hard a lot. Regal keeps talking about Hero and Hero keeps pointing at him at commentary, so I can't wait for that in 2013. Regal says he's been where Ohno is, taking liberties with people to make his name, but he doesn't want him to make the mistakes that he's made and burn the bridges he has. Percy has the same usual problems where he looks so rigid and just like he's constantly thinking about what the next spot is. Just sort of doing stuff to do stuff. Ohno hits the Death Blow to win. ** Seth Rollins comes out with the NXT Title for an interview with JR. He's wearing a black sportcoat over a black muscle shirt and with a stupid sideways flat brim hat on, looking like THE biggest cocksucker of all time. He asks if he's had any more change of heart about being the hunted, and Rollins says when he beat Jinder the first time, he asked him the same thing. He has the same answer, that he enjoys the target on his back and he's ready for the next one. Corey Graves jumps him with a chop block and puts on his hold until referees pull him up. Corey gets up and says JR came here to do an interview and he's here for it. He says every tattoo tells a story, and what he just did to Seth Rollins told a story too. The story is that he wants the title and says more horrible things. Match #5: The Big Show vs. Bo Dallas Big Show squashes Bo for four minutes, and it's wonderful to watch. He wins with the JO Punch to end the final NXT of the year, because recap episodes. * |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 5 2013, 05:28 PM Post #196 |
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B-SHOW ROUND UP! Team Hell No [c] vs. Team Rhodes Scholars [WWE Tag Team Championship], Main Event (December 19th) Kane and Bryan finally have a great tag match! They aren't dragged down by constant arguing, booking, or time constraints. Kane and Bryan actually wear down Sandow early on, AND KANE DOES MATWORK AGAIN. Bryan gets violent with Sandow and when Cody gets in, they go after the arm that got hurt in the last match. Bryan has an awesome fake hot tag in the middle, and then is a great FIP. Kane Kane's it up on the hot tag, and then Cody loses to the Chokeslam and Diving Headbutt. *** Unfortunately, Superstars and SMS are all recap for the rest of 2012. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 5 2013, 08:30 PM Post #197 |
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I'm the worst, and x'd out of Chrome again. I never used to do this this often, I swear! Raw - 12/24/12 - featured an opening holiday-themed segment in which John Cena directed all the talent, who stood at the entrance stage, in singing their own version of "Jingle Bells;" included an opening in-ring segment in which Justin Roberts introduced Santa Claus, the guest host of the show, with Santa coming out and passing out gifts; moments later, Ricardo Rodriguez appeared at the entrance stage and Alberto Del Rio drove into the arena, accidentally hitting Santa with his car; medics then tended to Santa as ADR and a tearful Rodriguez watched on; the crowd briefly chanted "You killed Santa" at ADR before Santa was placed on a stretcher and taken backstage; Santa gave a thumbs up to the crowd as he was taken away; crime scene tape blocked off the area for the remainder of the show; featured a backstage segment in which Teddy Long, Booker T, Aksana, Tyson Kidd, Natalya Neidhart, Justin Gabriel, Darren Young & Titus O'Neil, Yoshi Tatsu, and other members of the roster discussed Santa's injuries and booed ADR when he appeared; Cena then got in ADR's face, with ADR saying everyone knows he drives his car out and thus it wasn't his fault; Booker then informed ADR that he, per Santa's orders, would be in a streetfight against Cena later in the night; the roster then rooted Cena on in fighting for Santa's honor; included an ad promoting the new WWE Encylopedia; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read Santa makes more than 842 million stops on Christmas Eve and travels in excess of 221 million miles to deliver toys to more than 2 billion children worldwide; included a segment with Dolph Ziggler and AJ sitting by a Christmas tree and fireplace and watching AJ cost Cena his ladder match with Ziggler at TLC; featured the announcement a 20-man battle royal would take place on Main Event, with the winner becoming #1 contender to WWE US Champion Antonio Cesaro; included an ad promoting 'The Best Pay-Per-View Matches of 2012;' featured a backstage segment with Booker and Long in which Brad Maddox walked in with his camera man and Booker agreed to give him another chance at earning a WWE contract; included an ad promoting the WWE app; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read more than 3 billion holiday cards are sent each year in the US; featured a backstage segment with Ziggler and AJ; included a backstage segment in which Matt Striker gave medical updates on Santa; featured an ad promoting WWE content on YouTube; included an in-ring promo by WWE World Champion CM Punk, on crutches, and Paul Heyman in which Punk first made fun of the Great Khali wishing the fans a merry Christmas earlier in the show and then said Ryback had ruined Christmas and Hanukkah by injuring Punk; Punk went on to say he was better than Ryback and the best in the world, with Ryback then joining them in the ring and informing Punk that he would challenge for the title in a TLC match in 2 weeks on Raw; featured an ad promoting 'The Day' and 'Barricade' on DVD; included a backstage segment with Kane & Bryan in which Kane gave Bryan a Slammy for Christmas and Bryan gave Kane a little dog; after Kane thanked him and said he was starving, Bryan said "No! Animals are our friend and not food!" and then took the dog back; featured a backstage segment in which AJ read her own version of The Night Before Christmas to Ziggler, with the two then kissing; included a backstage segment in which Striker said Santa had gotten worse, with the medical equipment then playing "Jingle Bells" as viewers could see Santa's boots tapping to the music: WWE Tag Team Champion Kane pinned Cody Rhodes at 5:56 with the chokeslam after Rhodes hit an unprotected turnbuckle chest-first - *3/4 Kaitlyn, Natalya Neidhart, Alicia Fox, & Layla defeated WWE Divas Champion Eve, Tamina, Aksana, & Rosa Mendes at 5:29 when Kaitlyn pinned Eve with the fireman's carry into the gutbuster - 3/4* Sheamus pinned World Heavyweight Champion the Big Show in a non-title lumberjack match at 16:03 with the kick to the face after avoiding the punch to the face; lumberjacks for the bout included Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Brodus Clay, Santino Marella, Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Darren Young & Titus O'Neil, Jimmy & Jey Uso, Tensai; after the bout, Sheamus and the babyface lumberjacks celebrated in the ring - **3/4 Zack Ryder pinned David Otunga with the Rough Ryder at 4:42 after Otunga struck the corner; prior to the bout, Otunga cut an in-ring promo in which Santa Claus was really the one at fault for his injury earlier in the show; eventually, Ryder cut him off to start the match - 1/2* WWE IC Champion Kofi Kingston & Mike Mizanin defeated Wade Barrett & WWE US Champion Antonio Cesaro at 6:58 when Miz pinned Barrett with the Skull Crushing Finale, moments after Kingston hit the spin kick to the face on Barrett from the floor - *3/4 The Great Khali (w/ Hornswoggle) pinned Brad Maddox with the tree slam at 3:12; during his entrance, Maddox cut a promo on getting ready to earn a WWE contract; stipulations stated Maddox would earn a WWE contract if he won; Khali and Hornswoggle were dressed as elves for the match; after the bout, Hornswoggle took the mic and wished Santa well, with Khali then telling the fans to have a merry Christmas - AMAZING WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan defeated Damien Sandow via submission with the No Lock at 5:38 - **1/4 Brodus Clay (w/ Cameron & Naomi), Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Santino Marella, Jimmy & Jey Uso defeated Tensai, Darren Young & Titus O'Neil, Jinder Mahal, Drew McIntyre, & Heath Slater at 5:15 when an Uso pinned Slater with the splash off the top, moments after Gabriel hit a springboard moonsault and Kidd hit a springboard elbow drop into the ring - **1/2 John Cena pinned Alberto Del Rio in a streetfight at 14:51 with the FU after Santa Claus came ringside, knocked out Ricardo Rodriguez with his toy bag, and applied a Santa Socko to ADR; Rodriguez served as ADR's ring announcer for the bout; during the match, ADR took the mic and repeatedly apologized for what happened to Santa earlier in the show, adding it was an accident; after the match, Cena and Santa celebrated in the ring - **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 6 2013, 12:31 AM Post #198 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown December 28th, 2012 Rochester, NY featured an opening in-ring promo by Sheamus in which he talked about beating World Heavyweight Champion the Big Show on Raw in their lumberjack match and said his New Year's resolution was to be the new champion; Sheamus then called out Show and challenged him to a title match later in the night; moments later, Show said he wasn't afraid of anything but Sheamus had come up short in his title shots; Sheamus replied that if he wasn't getting a title shot, he would just beat up Show; Booker T then appeared at the entrance stage and said it was true they had both won recent matches, with Show saying no one backstage was worthy and Sheamus wasn't worthy of a title shot; Booker then said Show would be in a match later in the night against a man that will be chosen at random; Teddy Long and WWE Divas Champion Eve then brought out Santino Marella, Yoshi Tatsu, Tyson Kidd, Brodus Clay, WWE IC Champion Kofi Kingston, WWE Tag Team Champions Daniel Bryan & Kane, Jimmy & Jey Uso, Justin Gabriel, WWE US Champion Antonio Cesaro, Darren Young & Titus O'Neil, Alberto Del Rio, Ricardo Rodriguez, Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, & Drew McIntyre, Primo Colon & Epico, Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow, Zack Ryder, and others; after Eve and Long fought over the tumbler, which contained the names of the participants, Booker drew Santino's name; Show then confronted Marella at the entrance stage, laughed at him, and walked away Match #1: Brodus Clay vs. Epico This is a minute, and all the seconds are on the floor. Brodus wins with the Splash, and I have no idea why this happened. 3/4* Rosa slaps Brodus in the ring, but Cameron and Naomi run her off, and everyone dances. In the back, Sheamus gives Santino tips and says he beat Big Show on Raw, so he can help him. Santino says to paint a masterpiece of advice for him, and Sheamus says the Brogue Kick is the only move that can beat Big Show. Or, y'know, the FU, World's Strongest Slam, RKO, Gogoplata, etc. Sheamus then tries to teach Santino the Brogue Kick. COMEDY~ Santino hurts his hammy doing it and can't unstretch his leg. Great work, Sheamus. Match #2: Team Hell No/Kofi Kingston vs. Team Rhodes Scholars/Wade Barrett Wade and Kofi AGAIN drag down a Team Hell No six man, although Cody and Sandow are better than PTP, so this is a little bit better than the six man on last week's episode. Daniel is a really good FIP as usual, but it means the match is ruined with Kofi being the one making the hot tag. Lots of shitty missed athletic stuff and sloppiness. Kofi hits Cody with the fucking kick, but it allows Wade to grab him and he hits the Bullhammer for the win. **1/4 In the back, Teddy and Booker tell Big Show that Santino is hurt and can't compete tonight. Big Show cracks up laughing, so they have another tumbler drawing. Booker draws another name, and reads it. Big Show demands to know who it is, and Booker says he'll find out who it is soon enough. That's not really fair. Booker brings him in after the break, and it's Ricardo Rodriguez. Big Show laughs even more and Ricardo says he doesn't want it. Show puts the title on him and then cheap shot KO Punches him! Show says NOBODY touches his title, and walks off. This kind of rules. Match #3: Antonio Cesaro vs. Zack Ryder This is another of those fun little three minute Cesaro showcases. He throws Zack around and bumps well for his jobber offense. Cesaro avoids the Broski Boot, hits a European Uppercut to the back, and wins with The Neutralizer. *3/4 Match #4: Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston vs. Dolph Ziggler These two get something like 7 minutes, and Ziggler AGAIN gets the best out of Miz and guides him to a really good little TV match for the time they get. He guides him through basic matwork and then bumps around like a lunatic before taking over. They don't go as far with the finishing run as they did in their first match, and Big E distracts Miz, leading to the Peace Zig for the win. **1/2 Post-match, Miz gets the mic as Team Rocket is leaving, and he says no matter which WWE Superstar AJ is with on NYE, it'll end with a bang. Ziggler is mad and goes to beat Miz up. They fight, and Big E comes in and hits Miz with the Big Ending. Miz pretty clearly had that coming. In the back, Booker T is checking on Ricardo in the trainers room. Brad Maddox asks Booker T for one more shot, and he says he gets ONE final shot, and yells at him to go to the ring. ADR then comes in and is pissed. He calls Big Show a big fat monster and says he'll open Big Show up like a pinata. Booker offers to put him in the title match against The Big Show, and ADR smiles and says this is for Ricardo. Match #5: Sheamus vs. Brad Maddox Sheamus squashes Brad for like four minutes, which is completely ridiculous and way way way too long. Sheamus finally puts everyone out of their misery when he wins with the Brogue Kick. *1/4 RAW REBOUND. Match #6: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players This is only two minutes, so I'm not sure why they bothered, but it was a solid tag match as usual with these two before they rushed to the finish. The Usos pull out the twin switch as a counter to PTP's cheating and D-Young goes down to a cradle. *1/2 A pretape airs from The Shield. Ambrose says this was unlike any other year, and Rollins says this will be remembered for the scar they left, and Reigns says they're just getting started. Ambrose says they shined a light on the injustice in the WWE, a big glaring light, and they didn't just talk about it. Reigns says they rectified injustice, and Ambrose says the mission remains the same. Seth Rollins says 2013 is the year of The Shield, and they have no friends or allies. They don't need them or want them. They answer to no one. Reigns says in 2013, justice lives, and for the first time? BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD. In the back, Striker interviews Big Show. He says this isn't fair, but he's not scared of another loser, and he'll knock out a third person tonight. Match #7: The Big Show [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] This is only five minutes, and this isn't a great pairing outside of gimmick matches, which makes sense since ADR is only good in gimmick matches or when he's winning a big match. Show works the arm since this isn't important, and ADR doesn't sell it. Sheamus comes out and Show goes to fight him on the ramp, so he's counted out. *1/2 Show tries to leave, but Team Hell No, The Usos, PTP, and 3MB all come out to help Sheamus and they roll Big Show back in. ADR hits the Corner Enzuiguri, and Sheamus follows with the Brogue Kick to knock Show down. ONE MORE LEFT. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 6 2013, 01:56 PM Post #199 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: The Big Show, Since 10/28/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Kofi Kingston, Since 10/17/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw December 31st, 2012 Washington, D.C. featured an opening segment of Miz TV at the entrance stage in which Mike Mizanin in which he said all titles would be on the line during the show, per Vickie Guerrero, and champions could pick their opponents; Miz then brought out John Cena as his guest to ask him about how the year ended between he and AJ; moments later, Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow interrupted and insulted Cena and Miz, with Cena then making fun of Rhodes's mustache; Sandow then said Cena and Miz went from main eventing WrestleMania to being outshined by himself and Rhodes, with Cena challenging Sandow & Rhodes to a tag team match to start the show Match #1: John Cena/The Miz vs. Team Rhodes Scholars This is a decent little match. They get something like nine minutes, so they have time to do something decent in theory. But then Cena isn't really trying here and the Miz is The Miz at any point after like 2010/occasionally in 2011. Cody and Sandow are again really solid, but certainly not great, and have no real tag chemistry to speak of, so it's just two guys doing things and tagging out when they're done doing some stuff. Cena has his hot tag, and he beats Sandow with the FU. **1/4 In the back, Vickie is hosting a NYE party and Otunga says he's excited for 2013. Vickie announces that as a present, all champions present get to choose their challengers tonight. Dolph Ziggler shows up and says this is a great party. She says he's not invited and he says to let bygones be bygones. She says she opes Dolph and AJ enjoy their toast tonight, but he has a match against Sheamus before any of that. After the break, CM Punk shows up at the party and wishes Vickie a happy new year. She asks how he is, and he says he's fine besides people doubting him, but people still think he's faking. He says he'd like her permission to have his doctor from Chicago come to the ring with him and explain how his injury is coming, and he says he can even compete tonight if she wants. Vickie says hypothetically, who would he have fought. Punk says it'd be Ryback probably, so Vickie makes Ryback vs...and Punk whispers in her ear, and Vickie says The Shield. Punk says that's not what he said, but they both get disrespected by Ryback and the fans, so Vickie goes with it. In the ring, Cesaro has the mic. He says he's here in the capitol as YOUR United States champion, and he went sightseeing today. He went to the monuments and memorials, all things that he is the Champion of, and when he went to the Pentagon, he ran into someone who wanted a fight with him tonight. A true patriot synonymous with the red, white, and blue, and his opponent tonight is the symbol of America itself, AND SGT. SLAUGHTER COMES OUT. The best part about this is Sarge apparently working at the Pentagon. Match #2: Antonio Cesaro [c] vs. Sgt. Slaughter [WWE U.S. Championship] Cesaro gets the trusty Sarge rub, and it's fun. It's obviously not as great as the early 2000s Sarge matches, since he's far too old now to do his old lunatic bumps, but he's still able to hit hard and take a beating for two minutes. Cesaro wins with The Neutralizer. *1/2 Cesaro hits a second one after the match. In the back, Kane and Bryan are mad and they wanted to fight the Shield tonight. 3MB then comes in and challenges them to fight them for the titles, so they accept. At the party, Big Show asks Ricardo if he wants that title shot tonight. He says it's Champion's Choice tonight, and he picks him. Show leaves, and Kaitlyn introduces Mae Young to everyone as her guest. Eve comes over, and says she thinks she found her challenger tonight, and since she's beaten all of them, she chooses Mae Young! Match #3: Team Hell No [c] vs. Heath Slater/Drew McIntyre w/ Jinder Mahal [WWE Tag Team Championship] 3MB finally gets the right tag team! Drew vs. Bryan is wonderful, as it means Drew tries a little bit for the first time in a while. Bryan gets to do his amazing shtick where he stretches out and humiliates a total schmuck, which hasn't been seen in WWE fully yet, and it's so much fun. They let this get a full six minutes without a commercial, so Bryan gets to do his full FIP act. Kane Kane's it up on the hot tag, and Drew gets beat with the Chokeslam and Diving Headbutt. **1/4 CM Punk and Paul Heyman come out with a doctor, and Punk's still on crutches. Cole and Lawler announce Punk/Ryback officially for next week, in a TLC match. Paul introduces the man who has held the WWE Championship for every day of 2012, and for 407 consecutive days, the best in the world, CM Punk. He says this has been an amazing year for him, beating Chris Jericho, Dolph Ziggler, The Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, The Miz, Daniel Bryan, John Cena on more than one occasion, and Ryback numerous times. He's accomplished a lot, but being champion for a FULL calendar year is a tough schedule. He says he's been injured before, but he endures and ties on his boots and goes to work, and if a fraction of what he endured in 2012 happened to anyone else, they'd be done. He is a man's man and a champion's champion. Dat accidental Stone Cold build there. He says some people even question the veracity of his injury, so he brought his doctor. The crowd boos a doctor for some reason, and he shows slides of a healthy knee and then Punk's knee before surgery. Punk says despite that, next week, he has a title match with Ryback. He says he made a career out of beating people like Ryback, and with one arm or eye, he could beat him, and even if he still only has one leg, he'll continue to do what he's done for 407 days, he's going to prove the world wrong and prove that he is the Best in the World. The doctor says he's sorry, but he can not allow to compete. Vince McMahon comes out and wishes everyone a happy new year. He says he was curious how he'd try to weasel his way out of this, and Paul says this man is not only the best in the world, but he's been his WWE Champion for 407 days and he would respectfully suggest that his WWE Champion has never weaseled his way out of scheduled match. Vince says WWE doctors will evaluate his knee, not his own personal physician, and if they clear him, then he will defend the title. Punk says he knows Vince thinks he's guilty of all these things, but he assures him that just like Vince was unjustly persecuted by the government, he's being unjustly persecuted here. Vince says he's earned his respect as an athlete, and Punk thanks him, and Vince says he's BEEN champion for so long because of a potential deal with Brad Maddox and a potential deal with them and The Shield. Punk says he can't go against doctors orders, and he has nothing to do with Maddox OR The Shield. Vince says the investigation will continue, and Paul says this time, even Vince surprises him. Paul says he has a champion finally who's everything he could ever want to promote, and in the same city that his father got his start, HOW DARE HE force an injured hero into competition, and he's become a flesh peddling promoter, and he would know. Vince says if WWE officials claim Punk can't go, then he won't compete, but then they'd have to find another opponent for Ryback. AND THAT OPPONENT WOULD BE PAUL HEYMAN. Vince says he's going to enjoy the title match next week, and wishes them a happy new year. Punk is pissed and stomp Vince's mic with his good leg. Match #4: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston You know how this goes by now. They work well together, but don't quite get to the level of a great match due to lacking any real chemistry, and Ziggler does the best he can for 10 minutes. They continue to get better together though, and this comes off like they're on track to have their best match due to the lack of any real time wasted. They still don't get there though, as the finishing run kind of gets cut off in favor of angles. Sheamus throws Ziggler out and Big E catches him. Sheamus wants to fight him, but the Shield comes from the crowd to attack Sheamus for the DQ. **3/4 Sheamus eats the Triple Powerbomb. In the back, Kofi chooses Wade. BOO. In the back, Brad Maddox goes up to Punk and Heyman and asks for help getting a job. Punk asks how he could do that or why he would do that, when he's the one who started dirtying his name. Paul gets really mad with Brad and says they don't hire or fire, and he blew all his chances. He says to get out of CM Punk's locker room and out of his life, and Maddox leaves. Dis storytelling. In the back, Mae Young goes into labor. God damnit. WWE Divas Champion Eve defeated Mae Young via forfeit; prior to the bout, Eve took the mic and joked about Young looking for excuses not to face her before telling the referee to declare her the winner via forfeit; moments later, Kaitlyn walked out, with the two brawling in and out of the ring before Eve eventually grabbed her belt and escaped ringside In the back, ADR finds Ricardo freaking out. He says if he's going to be a champion, then he has to look like a champion, and he gives him his scarf. He says he has to do it in style too, and gives Ricardo the keys. Ricardo is nervous, but looks a little more confident now, and leaves. This face turn is working amazingly in the span of two shows and revolves entirely around just embracing how everyone loves Ricardo, proving that Ricardo was the strength of the face act in 2013 all along. Match #5: The Big Show [c] vs. Ricardo Rodriguez w/ Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] This is basically a two minute squash, with Show gleefully taking his time and dismantling poor Ricardo. He sets up for the KO Punch finally, but ADR attacks him for the DQ! * ADR manages to drive Big Show out with the Corner Enzuiguri, and he and Ricardo bail. Match #6: Kofi Kingston [c] vs. Wade Barrett [WWE Intercontinental Championship] This is better than the PPV match, but not as good as the eye injury match after Survivor Series. Wade looks super motivated here, and gets violent with Kofi. They have some actual good nearfalls before Kofi starts being Kofi. Wade avoids the Frogbody, and wins clean with the Bullhammer, which is good I suppose. ** CHRISTMAS RAW REBOUND. featured a backstage segment in which the roster watched and tended to Young, with Bryan & Kane walking in and starting dueling chants of "No" and "Yes;" Hornswoggle, wearing a top hat, sash, and with a cigar in his mout Ryback is set to have his match against the Shield, but they attack him before the bell, and the match never happens. Sheamus runs out to make it more even, but he gets taken out too, before Randy Orton makes his return, and the three horrible babyfaces manage to run off The Shield. featured a closing in-ring segment in which Ziggler, alongside AJ and Big E Langston, made fun of and showed footage of Cena losing to the Rock at WrestleMania, being beaten up by Brock Lesnar, pinned by John Laurinaitis, not successfully cashing in his Money in the Bank title shot in July, and then losing to Ziggler at TLC; Ziggler and AJ then joked that Cena hasn't changed in 10 years, with Ziggler saying "John, your time is up and my time is now;" moments later, Ziggler told Langston that Cena was not invited to their party and told him to stand ringside and make sure he didn't show up; Ziggler then drank a glass of champagne and made out with AJ until Cena appeared at the entrance stage; Cena said 2012 was not a banner year for him and then showed doctored photos of AJ, Ziggler, and Langston ready for AJ and Ziggler's wedding, a photo of what their baby would look like, and photos of AJ's other babies (with the faces of the likes of Punk, the Bushwhackers, Jamison, Mr. Fuji, and others); Cena then made fun of Ziggler's entire WWE history, said he was entering the Royal Rumble, and would be WWE World Champion again in 2013; Cena then praised Ziggler before having crap poured on Ziggler and AJ in the ring to close the show |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 6 2013, 02:03 PM Post #200 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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Top 10 - December 2012: 1. Team Hell No/Ryback vs. The Shield, TLC (December 16th) 2. John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler, TLC (December 16th) 3. Team Hell No [c] vs. Team Rhodes Scholars, Main Event (December 19th) 4. Tyson Kidd vs. Leo Kruger, NXT (December 5th) 5. The Big Show [c] vs. Sheamus, TLC (December 16th) 6. Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara, TLC (December 16th) 7. The Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (December 7th) 8. John Cena/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/The Big Show, Smackdown (December 18th) 9. Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (December 31st) 10. The Usos vs. The Colons, NXT (December 19th) Wrestler of the Month: Antonio Cesaro - 18 Points Tag Team of the Month: The Usos - 13 Points |
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6:52 PM Jul 10