| Simon Watches WWE - 2012 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 12 2013, 05:02 PM (12,944 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jun 12 2013, 11:39 PM Post #61 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Big Show, Since 4/1/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: The Colons, Since 1/15/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Nikki Bella, Since 4/23/2012som ![]() WWE Extreme Rules 2012 April 29th, 2012 Chicago, IL Match #1: Randy Orton vs. Kane [Falls Count Anywhere] Hey, this kinda sucked. One of those generic "all over the place" fights where they don't really do anything, and everything is so incredible safe for a match billed as dangerous and chaotic. It's just a huge lie, and you can put up with it when the stuff they do is interesting or cool, like Rey/Cody last year, but this just blows. All backstage fights blow. This goes forever (seemingly), before they get back to the ring, and Orton wins with an RKO on a chair. *3/4 In the back, Eve has Teddy wheel in a cart with champagne on it, and Eve and Johnny toast to change. Johnny gets a phone call from Triple H, and he walks away. Match #2: Dolph Ziggler vs. Brodus Clay Vickie, Swagger, Hornswoggle, and the Funkadactyls are at ringside. This is 5 minutes and Ziggler does everything he can to carry Brodus, and pulls off a surprisingly great short match. Brodus, to his credit, has some good big man bumps, and Ziggler controls like 98% of this, so the focus is on his great offense. Brodus starts a comeback, and Ziggler jumps into the chest headbutt, and DIES on the bump back. Brodus then wins with the Big Splash. I loved this. **3/4 The wheel is spun in the back, and it's a Tables Match. Great. Match #3: The Big Show [c] vs. Cody Rhodes [WWE Intercontinental Championship - Tables Match] This is also only 5 minutes, but they also do really well with it. Cody takes some painful bumps, and they have some cool spots in them too, like Cody using a table in the corner as a springboard for the Beautiful Disaster. Ending is kind of cool, as Cody dropkicks Show on the apron and he goes to step down, but steps through a table, and that counts, SO CODY REGAINS THE BELT! YEAH! **1/2 Show is a bully and a sore loser, so he Spears Cody, and then Chokeslams him through a table. He then picks him up and press slams him over the top and through another table. BE A STAR. In the back, Striker interviews Daniel Bryan. He says he has every advantage. He gets more chicks, his beard is better than Sheamus', his stomach isn't weighed down by five pounds of corned beef, and he's better than him in every way. He says Chicagoans think they're the best crowd, but they are overrated and unoriginal. NICE TRY, YOU'RE NOT GETTING BOOED. Is he smarter than Sheamus? YES. Is he in better condition than Sheamus? YES. Will be become the World Heavyweight Champion? YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! He walks away and AJ is watching. The crowd "YES!"'s loudly, and Lawler tries to claim it's a resounding no from the crowd. A hype video airs for sheamus/Bryan. Match #4: Sheamus [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [World Heavyweight Championship - Best of Three Falls] Awesome match, but not perfect. Just a beautiful storytelling match, based on the roles of fighter and wrestler. Sheamus tries to get things going his way and manages to counter a lot of stuff early on, but Danielson has superior stamina and eventually negotiates it onto the mat, and starts to work on the arm. To Sheamus' credit, he makes it look like there's a ton of struggle over everything, and his gradual selling over the course of the match is fantastic. There was also this great little subtlety of Sheamus throwing almost everything into the first fall, where as Danielson has experience with this format and was more patient. He refuses to stop kicking Sheamus' arm in the ropes, so he's DQ'd to go down 0-1, BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY PUTS ON THE YES LOCK! YEAH! Sheamus passes out, so it's 1-1. They do stuff and Sheamus' arm selling is really great. However, what holds this back from becoming an all-time classic is how abruptly it ends. Sheamus makes a comeback, and then just sort of hits the Brogue Kick to win. The entire match is about Bryan being tough enough to hang with Sheamus and smart enough to outthink him, and it ends with Sheamus just flattening him with ease on his comeback. Didn't work at all. ***1/2 OVER THE LIMIT: MAY 20TH! Match #5: Ryback vs. Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton KILL RYBORK KILL. He finally gets an AWESOME squash, destroying the fatter one with a Lariat and hurling the skinny one around. He hits the Shellshock on both in a row to win. ** Ryback finally gets it right and yells "FEED. ME. MORE." In the back, Striker interviews CM Punk, and asks about the match. He says tonight isn't any old night, it's a Chicago Street Fight, and he doesn't think Chris Jericho gets that because he cares more about his mind games, and said he passed his test on Raw with flying colors. He says someone's waking up with a hangover, not because of booze, but because he kicked Jericho's head in and put him to sleep. Match #6: CM Punk [c] vs. Chris Jericho [WWE Championship - Chicago Street Fight] This was really great, but it would have been legitimately classic if it was like 20 minutes instead of 25, since there was too much stuff that wasn't necessary in the middle, and they started to repeat themselves before the end. Still though, great ideas here. Jericho going after Punk's sister in the front row, revenge spots using the exposed steel buckle, kendo stick stuff, some cool counters, etc. Just dragged, that's all. Punk blocks Jericho's try at a GTS, and catapults him into the exposed steel, followed by hitting the Go To Sleep for the win. ***1/4 In the back, Eve finds The Bellas taunting Beth for still being hurt. Eve says Beth isn't cleared, so she doesn't get her rematch tonight. She leaves, and Eve books them vs. a surprise Diva in the ring next. They are terrified, and Eve says it's not Kharma. They come out, and hey, it's Layla. YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH FOR ME! Nice. Match #8: Nikki Bella [c] w/ Brie Bella vs. Layla [WWE Divas Championship] Layla is still great and has lots of cool arm drags and evasive moves. Good shit for 3 minutes, and Nikkia works on the knee. They pull a twin switch, and Layla wins the title from Brie with the Rude Awakening. *3/4 In the back, Striker asks Johnny about the phone call, and he says Triple H will be on Raw tomorow. A hype video airs for Cena/Bork. Match #9: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar [Extreme Rules] Oh my god, this is PERFECT. Just...god damn. Cena comes out with the chain, but Brock immediately breaks open Cena's head and just totally dominates him. You can read this a number of ways. It's a pro wrestling loyalist taking on an invading MMA guy, it's a classic monster vs. Ace match, all of that. My favorite is that Cena's staring down the end of his career. He's no longer the Ace at this point, not really. The company treats him like he is, but he knows it's debatable. He lost twice to the guy who's now had his WWE Title for a long time, and they were fairly clean losses. He got robbed out of it again, and lost the biggest match of his life to The Rock, and even lost to Tensai. If he loses here, there's no real debate about it. He comes in like it's another match and gets totally destroyed. People criticize the doctors checking on Cena, but it adds to it because Brock's not even mad or worried about it allowing Cena to regain himself, and it puts over the invulnerability of Brock even more. Cena has these great flurries, but Brock shuts them down. He attacks referees, hurls Cena around at will, traps his legs with the chain to hang him upside down at will, and when Cena tries to get the chain, he just lightly steps on his hand to stop him before laughing again. He's perfect. And Cena has just a TON of fire, the kind he hasn't had in a long long time. So seemingly, out of desperation to stay alive, he's refound his passion. Cena has some great comebacks while selling tremendously, but Brock always cuts him off. But his confidence allows Cena the opening to grab his chain, and he intercepts another Brock dive with a retardedly hard chain shot to the head, and he hits the FU on the steps to win! ****1/2 After replays, Cena starts marching around the ring and talking to the crowd as he's covered in blood with his arm limp at his side, and it's just so fucking great. This is Pro Wrestling level stuff. Cena gets on the mic after he falls sitting down on the steps and says he'll probably get sent home for speaking when he's not supposed to, but he thinks he's going home anyways. He says he knows this is CM Punk's town, but above all, this is a wrestling town. He says tonight, they were supposed to see the extreme, and he's got no left arm and he can taste his own blood, and he's proud to say it was here. He says they all give everything they have for them, and even if he's going away for a while, he's glad he's doing it this way. He thanks the crowd and says to get home safe. This is beautiful beautiful stuff. The invader was momentarily stopped. Not bested, not truly beaten back, but just stopped. Maybe even just slowed down. But at the expense of Cena's arm and his health, and it's a Pyrrhic victory at best. He found himself again and found his passion again, but injured himself doing it and now has to rest up for a few months, but refocused. It's beautiful stuff. Theoretically sets up for a great build to a final Cena/Punk face/face match and also sees Brock now having taken out the one man who could beat him, and going wild now that nobody else can, either leading to Cena/Brock II where Brock's learned his lesson and just DESTROYS Cena setting up for a final 3rd match, or a new face being put over by being the one to outright beat Brock Lesnar like Cena couldn't. Can't wait to see it all play out! Edited by Big Tuna, Jun 12 2013, 11:40 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Jun 17 2013, 11:41 AM Post #62 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: TCody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: The Colons, Since 1/15/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw Starring Brock Lesnar April 30th, 2012 Dayton, OH For some reason, this file is only 54 minutes long, so we only get like 60-70% of the show. John Laurinaitis comes out to open the show and brags about revolutionizing everything in the name of PEOPLE POWER. He says everyone should thank him for bringing Bork back, and Brock Lesnar comes out to the ring. Brock bags about pretty much killing John Cena last night, and Triple H then comes out. He says Brock held up the WWE last week, but that's not going to happen here and he's not using the corporate jet or limo again unless he pays for it. He says this show is just named Raw, nothing else, and says his initial contract was approved but the changes last week were not. Triple H tears up the contract and says the old deal, and says if he wants to be here, he can have all he has coming, and that's matches with Cena, guys like CM Punk or Sheamus, whatever he wants. Laurinaitis tries to talk to him, and then Brock attacks H. They fight and hey, Bork snaps his arm with the Kimura. God damnit. He gets helped to the back and hey, his arm's broke. Eve comes out and says the #1 Contender for Over The Limit will be determined in a Beat the Clock Challenge. Match #1: The Miz vs. Santino Marella [Beat The Clock Challenge] This was at least short, but it was not very good. They did stuff and it was hilariously even. Miz wins in 4:18 with the Skull Crushing Finale, so that is the new time to beat. *1/4 TIME TO BEAT: THE MIZ, 4:18 Match #2: Layla [c] vs. Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella [WWE Divas Championship] This is 10 seconds, and Layla shoves one into the other and gets a schoolboy to win. Okay then! WWE Payback Match #3: Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show [Beat The Clock Challenge] This is also hindered by length, which is why the first BTC match should always be a longer one so this doesn't wind up happening. It's also babyface Big Show vs. post-2009 Chris Jericho, so it's not like they were going to do something great either. Jericho wins by count out when Show misses a charge into the post, and it looks like he wins at 4:17! *3/4 There is a debate over if Jericho breaks the record, since the count was dodgy. Coming back, it's found out that Jericho JUST missed the time limit, and The Miz's 4:18 record stands. YEAH! NO MORE JERICHO/PUNK! John Cena visits some dying kids, a highlight video airs. Match #4: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. JTG Another entertaining Brodus squash. He wins with the Big Splash. *1/4 Brodus now brings kids into the ring to dance. A highlight video airs of Cena/Bork. In the back, Eve asks Johnny who Cena's next opponent is going to be, and he says he knows, and he guarantees John won't like it. Randy Orton comes out for his match, but they waste time with other bullshit and the file runs out before the match starts. LOLOLOLOLOLOL I WIN. Beat the Clock Challenge: Randy Orton pinned Jack Swagger (w/ Vickie Guerrero) with the RKO at 4:16; Guerrero introduced Swagger before the match from the entrance stage; after the contest, Mike Mizanin was shown watching on backstage R-Truth & Kofi Kingston defeated WWE Tag Team Champions Primo Colon & Epico (w/ Rosa Mendes) at 7:03 to win the titles when Kingston pinned Epico with the spin kick to the face after Truth dropped Epico throat-first across the top rope; during the match, it was noted WWE.com had just broken news that Nikki & Brie Bella had been fired (The Best of Raw & Smackdown 2012) Beat the Clock Challenge: Kane fought the Great Khali to a no contest when the 4:16 time limit expired; during the bout, Randy Orton was shown watching on backstage; after the match, Kane dropped Khali with the chokeslam Beat the Clock Challenge: Daniel Bryan defeated Jerry Lawler via submission with the Yes Lock at 2:21; during the match, Randy Orton was shown watching on backstage; moments later, WWE World Champion CM Punk walked out and held up his title belt as Bryan started a "Yes!" chant; Michael Cole called this match and the remainder of the show by himself featured a backstage segment in which AW spoke with Rosa Mendes, Primo Colon & Epico about their loss of the tag team titles and offered again to represent them; included the announcement Sheamus & Orton would face Daniel Bryan & Kane on Smackdown; featured a closing in-ring promo by Cena, his arm in a sling, in which he discussed his match the previous night against Lesnar, adding he was hurt but he was there; moments later, Laurinaitis walked out, with Cena mocking him by asking if he got him Zeus to be his next opponent; after the two had words, Laurinaitis discussed Cena's opponent at Over the Limit, then introducing Lord Tensai as his opponent; Tensai then came out, with Laurinaitis hitting Cena in the back of the head with the mic, announcing he himself would be Cena's opponent, with Tensai, his second, and Laurinaitis triple teaming Cena; Laurinaitis then targetted Cena's injured arm, smashing a steel chair over it as Tensai held the arm over the ring steps |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 17 2013, 11:45 AM Post #63 |
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Top 10 Matches of the Month - April 2012: 1. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 2. The Undertaker vs. Triple H, WrestleMania 28 (April 1st) 3. CM Punk [c] vs. Mark Henry, Raw (April 2nd) 4. Sheamus [c] vs. Daniel Bryan, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 5. CM Punk [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 6. CM Punk [c] vs. Mark Henry, Raw (April 16th) 7. John Cena vs. The Rock, WrestleMania 28 (April 1st) 8. CM Punk [c] vs. Chris Jericho, WrestleMania 28 (April 1st) 9. Daniel Bryan vs. Kofi Kingston, Raw (April 16th) 10. Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty, NXT (April 11th) Wrestler of the Month: Mark Henry (16 Points) Tag Team of the Month: The Usos (6 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 17 2013, 04:51 PM Post #64 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: The Colons, Since 1/15/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT May 2nd, 2013 Toledo, OH William Regal and Matt Striker are in the ring, and Josh is back on commentary, thank god. Regal says there will be new talents coming to NXT soon, and Johnny Curtis and Maxine come out, still handcuffed together. Curtis asks "Billy Regal" if these new guys know they might get handcuffed to a waste of space she-devil. Maxine takes the mic and says nobody here can handle a real woman and asks why she's still on NXT. Regal says he'll take into consideration that they lost, because nobody gets a free ride. JTG comes out and says words and this is part of the plot to ruin NXT. Regal says they all bothered his deputy last week, and has them uncuffed and put in a tag match. Match #1: Tyson Kidd/Alex Riley vs. Johnny Curtis/JTG w/ Maxine The only people with A-Ri signs are also in ICP t-shirts. Makes sense. Kidd is easily the best dude in this match, and he guides Curtis well and carries JTG in the early minutes before this dies. A-Ri might actually be better than JTG here, since he at least has some bits of cool offense and JTG shows nothing at all. This dies when JTG and Curtis control, and 10 minutes is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long for this match. Kidd finally ends it with the Dungeon Lock to JTG. ** In the back, Percy says he has a match with McGillicutty tonight for attacking him, but he denies it says he would have finished the job. RAW REBOUND! Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins are in the crowd with "REGAL SUCKS" signs, so Regal gets on the mic and has them escorted out. In the back, JTG is mad, and Alicia Fox says he needs an updated look and maybe he needs some confidence. He says no, but then revises that and says she has one week. In the back, Derrick and Kaitlyn find Alex Riley laid out in the back with tassles torn off a wrestling boot nearby. Match #2: Michael McGillicutty vs. Percy Watson This also gets like 12 minutes, which is weird. Percy has boots with tassles on them! INTRIGUE! This is pretty bad, since Joe can't work a knee at all, and Percy doesn't know what selling is until after the match when it's useless. Joe wins with the McGillicutter. *3/4 Striker comes out and shows the tassel to . He asks Percy to come backstage with them, and they leave to end the show. Pretty terrible episode. Who told WWE about NXT? |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 18 2013, 11:33 AM Post #65 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown May 4th, 2012 Toledo, OH Sheamus comes out to open the show and talks about fights. He says Daniel Bryan wanted a rematch, and he said "YES!" He then continues to try and leech Daniel Bryan's heat by starting a YES! chant before the match. Match #1: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan This is a great 3 minutes before booking happens. Sheamus has some great selling of the bad arm from Extreme Rules. Danielson keeps going after it, but Sheamus keeps him away with brawling. Danielson finally gets some stuff on the arm, but Alberto Del Rio runs out to attack Sheamus for the DQ! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ** ADR puts on the Cross Armbreaker, but then Bryan gets back in. ADR gets off of it, but then Bryan puts in the Yes Lock! Referees have to pull Bryan off, and he and Del Rio argue. Cole says ADR is the #1 Contender, so that's horrible. Sheamus leaves holding his arm, and he is mad. In the back, doctors are checking on Sheamus, and he is still mad. Match #2: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Hunico/Camacho Hunico tries, god bless him, but you can only do so much against a team of two of the worst wrestlers who regularly make TV. The Colons, now with Abe Washington and Roda, watch from the stage. Truth beats Camacho with Black Finisher. *1/4 Match #3: Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger The Funkadactyls, Dolph, and Vickie are at ringside. This is under 2 minutes, so that's a positive. They do stuff and it's mostly Brodus doing his stuff, before Swagger rolls out and the heels escape up the ramp for a count-out loss. *1/2 Brodus dances with fans again. TONIGHT: SHOW/ORTON VS. CODY/KANE RAW REBOUND! In the back, ADR and Bryan are arguing in the office, and Eve is the only one there. She says Mr. Laurinaitis has taken a personal day, so she is in charge tonight. She says Alberto Del Rio will get his shot at the World Title at Over The Limit, but Bryan still deserves his a rematch, and it will happen in the main event! Damien Sandow is supposed to debut against Derrick Bateman, but he has the mic. He says he is here to help all of you, and tonight was supposed to be a glorious night that would usher in a new era of enlightenment that they so desperately yearn for. He cuts of "WHAT?" chants by thanking them for their irrelevant opinion. He says he will not engage this miscreant in the ring this evening, and asks how they would benefit from witnessing the enlightened one against this simple minded ignoramus. YOU'RE WELCOME. Damien Sandow leaves, and Bateman says he came here for a match, so Ryback comes out. OH, COME ON. Match #4: Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman Great one minute squash, since Bateman will die. Shellshock ends it. *1/2 Match #5: Randy Orton/The Big Show vs. Kane/Cody Rhodes This at least gets time, at a little over 10 minutes, so it at least had a chance to be a longer dull mediocre match. Cole does a really cool thing and plugs Show/Cody title rematches on house shows this weekend. Orton will always try against Cody, so that's a good pairing. The others aren't very good, and Kane/Show is pretty bad. No mat wrestling. Show beats Cody with the KO Punch to further cement that he is midcard forever. ** In the back, Striker interviews Sheamus. His arm is all taped up, but he says the match is on! Match #6: Layla vs. Natalya Neidhart Good 2 minutes. It's lots of matwork for 90 seconds, and then they do some moves before Layla wins with the Layout Neckbreaker. *1/2 In the back, Teddy is made to oil up Antonio Cesaro for his first official photo shoot, and then Cesaro makes out with Aksana again. RAW REBOUND II: H/BORK EDITION! ADR comes out to do commentary. Match #7: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan They get 10 minutes, and this is great. Sheamus' selling rules, and Bryan can work an arm like not many others. He has some fantastic moments on the arm, like taking off the bandaging and outright punching at the bicep, or trapping both arms and grinding his elbow into the neck and shoulder. Sheamus mostly avoids using the hurt arm, to his credit, and yeah. ADR gets involved but fails, and Sheamus catches Bryan jumping off the top and hits the Brogue Kick for the win. Not sure how wise that is going into Punk/Bryan, but that assumes anyone watches SD at this point and that WWE has any interest in actually protecting Punk or Bryan. ***1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 18 2013, 12:22 PM Post #66 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 This is fucked up. The run-time when you hover over the file in the file folder has at at 1:30:00 or so, usually the length of a full Raw, but when you open the file, the run-time is 55 minutes. This is the same problem as the 4/30 episode, and is the same idea on the 5/14 episode. The 5/21 and 5/28 episodes are fine though. I'll just youtube any match that looks decent. WWE Raw May 7th, 2012 Greensburo, NC John Laurinaitis comes out to open the show, and he says nobody would undermine his authority as the GM, not even John Cena. He says the Board knew he would be tough but fair, and that's why he has this job, and he will continue where Brock Lesnar left off at Extreme Rules when he fights John Cena at Over the Limit. He shows photos of his work in Japan and says he was the Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin, and The Rock of Japan, which is hilarious. He says John Cena is given the week off to heal his arm, and he will be here live via satellite. CM Punk comes out and says nobody cares about him or this, and nobody wants to see him. He says nobody in any territory would pay to see him, and says he's only acting out because Cena beat his new golden boy at Extreme Rules. Johnny then books Punk vs. Tensai. YEAH! In the back, Johnny bumps into Big Show and yells at him to watch out. He leaves and Show mocks his voice, but then sees Eve and she is upset. Match #1: Cody Rhodes [c] vs. The Big Show [WWE Intercontinental Championship] Cody gets beat up for 2 minutes before he takes the belt and leaves for a count-out loss. *1/2 Post-match, Show gets on the mic and calls him back down to the ring. Instead, Eve comes out and makes Big Show apologize for making fun of Mr. Laurinaitis' voice, and Show sort of half-assed apologizes. Match #2: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston Both tag partners are there, along with Vickie. This at least only gets like 3 minutes, so nobody has to see this for a long time again. Swagger interferes, and Dolph wins with the Peace Zig. This total waste of Ziggler for most of 2012 is really upsetting. *3/4 Michael Cole gets in the ring to interview Cena via satellite, and he has a sling on. Cena says there's no permanent damage, but he has to get his elbow drained twice a day because of last week, and he says there's a group of doctors that recommended that he doesn't compete for the next few months, but he said no, and he's going to be at Over the Limit. He says he told the Board to let him punish Johnny at Over the Limit instead of firing him. Cole says he's done research and John Cena should be scared, and Cena says he's scared that Big Johnny will hurt himself in the ring before he can get his hands on him, and in 13 days, John Laurinaitis can't ban him or hide behind a suit in an office, and says he'll kick his ass. Well, okay then. Beth Phoenix is on commentary, and Beth/Layla is announced for Over the Limit. Match #3: Layla/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya/Maxine This could have been good, but whatever. Layla beats Maxine with the Neckbreaker. JOHNNY CURTIS WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AT RINGSIDE. WHAT THE FUCK? DOES REGAL'S CONTRACT MEAN NOTHING? 3/4* Match #4: Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Chris Jericho Sheamus' arm is still taped up, so that is a focus. But neither Jericho or ADR is much good at working the arm, which is really embarrassing for ADR, since that's his entire deal. Sheamus is easily the best guy in this, since his offense is actually good looking and he'll hit hard. He's not great or anything, but fuck, he's at least trying, and that puts him over Orton and Jericho. Sheamus has a good hot tag, but accidentally Brogue Kicks Orton, and Jericho pins him with a Code Breaker. **1/4 Jericho yells that he should be champion, and then Orton hits Sheamus with an RKO. That is the end of the file. featured a backstage segment in which Laurinaitis told Eve that Show's apology was hollow, with Chris Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, and Alberto Del Rio appearing and arguing that they should get the title shto against World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus; moments later, the three began brawling, with Sheamus also getting involved; as referees pulled Sheamus and Orton apart, Laurinaitis said he would defend against Jericho, ADR, and Orton at Over the Limit; included footage of Stephanie McMahon, Sheamus, Mark Henry, Eve, ADR, and others speaking to a school in the Bronx about the 'Be a Star' program; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read WWE was the most talked about brand on Facebook, with more fans than Nike, Pepsi, UFC, HBO, ESPN, and the NFL; included still photos of Triple H wearing a mechanical brace on his arm, followed by the announcement he would appear on Raw the following week; moments later, Paul Heyman walked out to Brock Lesnar's entrance music and said he was representing Lesnar; Heyman then said Lesnar felt betrayed by WWE for going back on its agreements, then listing his accomplishments before saying Lesnar was an honest man for saying he would hurt people; Heyman then read a prepared statement from Lesnar in which Lesnar said he came back to WWE to bring legitimacy to the company and then ranted about Triple H, saying he was afraid of him and always had been; the letter finished with Lesnar saying he was never coming back and quit; featured an ad promoting WrestleMania 28 on DVD and Blu-ray; included a backstage segment with Show, along with Michael Ealy and Warren Kole of "Common Law," regarding Show's apology to Eve and Laurinaitis running the show, with the actors making fun of Laurinaitis's voice until Eve appeared Brodus Clay (w/ Cameron & Naomi) pinned Mike Mizanin at 4:13 with the splash; following his entrance, Clay cut an insert promo to remind fans to "Call their momma" for Mother's Day; Miz cut a promo upon his entrance in which he made fun of Clay and compared him to King Hippo from Mike Tyson's Punch Out Punk/Tensai is on youtube, but HEY IT'S PUNK VS. TENSAI AND BRYAN BECAUSE JOHNNY IS BAD. Match #6: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan/Lord Tensai w/ Sakamoto This was really good for 6 minutes. Tensai has awesome power stuff and Punk is willing to die on it. Bryan and Punk showed off some stuff but kept a ton in the tank for the PPV, and yeah. Punk can't fight off two guys because he's not a REAL top guy, and Tensai wins with the Mist Claw STO. FUCK YEAH BERNARD PUSH. PUNK/TENSAI AT SUMMERSLAM IS GONNA RULE. **3/4 Danielson puts on the Yes Lock to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 18 2013, 02:01 PM Post #67 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT May 9th, 2012 Somewhere In the ring, Regal and Striker book Curtis/McGillicutty vs. Kidd/Watson, and talk about the recent attacks. Regal says he's questioned Percy Watson and Michael McGillicutty, and he doesn't believe it was either of them, so on the suggestion of Mr. Laurinaitis, he's hired a security firm backstage. Reks and Hawkins come out in suits and they talk about how much they love NXT, and Regal asks security to get them. Hawkins says Laurinaitis hired them as security! Reks says they've been given a second chance, and if they're good boys, Johnny will reinstate them and they even have a match on Superstars. Regal says if anything happens that shouldn't happen, then being fired will be the least of their problems. Maxine comes out for her match and is now trying to be nice to get out of this stipulation. Match #1: Tamina vs. Maxine w/ Johnny Curtis Another enjoyable match here. Curtis steals it on commentary though, and asks if he can have a roll of duct tape at commentary. Tamina misses the Superfly Splash for once, and Maxine actually wins with the Dragon Sleeper. Good for her. *1/2 Match #2: Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG w/ Alicia Fox JTG now has real gear. This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked. JTG tries to be aggressive, but is a horrible pro wrestler and barely makes contact with any of the big elbow or knee strikes. Yoshi has a brief comeback, but he can't do much. JTG even falls down while ducking under the Roundhouse. HOW IS HE STILL EMPLOYED WHEN BATEMAN ISN'T?! JTG wins with the Shout Out. 3/4* RAW REBOUND: H/BORK EDITION EVEN THOUGH IT WAS TWO WEEKS AGO. WTF. In the back, "Security" runs into Curtis and Maxine. Hawkins says they're in with Laurinaitis now, and they could use some help fixing NXT. Reks says if NXT even lasts another month, and they are confused, and Hawkins says that's on the down low. However, they want them to remember who their friends are, AND THEY GIVE THEM THE HANDCUFF KEY! NO! They're free, and Curtis says for a dirty hippie, Reks isn't half bad. They leave, and Curtis says she can stop pretending to be nice now. He keeps his handcuff on for some reason and says he likes to get weird, but she's a little weird even for him. In the back, Kaitlyn and Percy are talking and Percy says he didn't Riley. Derrick Bateman comes over and tries to get Kaitlyn away and says Percy is suspicious. She says he's been a jerk since Friday, and he says he got embarrassed, and he's allowed to be a little mad. Great, this is how they're going to ruin NXT. First, they install JTG and put Reks and Hawkins back in, and now they're splitting up Derrick and Kaitlyn. Fuck. Derrick says he wants to believe Percy, but they keep finding his stuff around the attacks. He walks off, and Percy says he doesn't blame him for protecting his girl, and he goes to talk to Bateman. Kaitlyn says everyone is crazy, and then stops and asks why she's talking to herself. Banging is heard, so she rusn around the corner. Bateman is holding his knee, AND THEY FIND THE RED "OH YEAH" GLASSES ON THE FLOOR. GOD DAMNIT PERCY. Match #3: Tyson Kidd/Percy Watson vs. Michael McGillicutty/Johnny Curtis Acceptable 8 minutes, since Kidd, Joe, and Curtis are all competent at the last and good at best. Regal asks why his security didn't stop the attack, and considers firing them. Kidd carries most of the match, but cannot be both FIP and the hot tag. Percy has a horrible hot tag, and beats Mike with the Fuckjack Slam. **1/4 Reks and Hawkins come out with the glasses and demand Percy comes with them to end the show. Nah. This show fucking sucks now that WWE found out about. I'll be back when something good shows up on the results. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 18 2013, 04:32 PM Post #68 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown May 11th, 2012 Somewhere This episode is missing, so I found results online. Alberto Del Rio & Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton & Sheamus ended in a Double DQ (5:10) AJ defeated Kaitlyn (0:29) Daniel Bryan defeated The Big Show (1:15) Ryback defeated Heath Slater (1:17) Antonio Cesaro defeated Alex Riley (2:21) Randy Orton defeated Alberto Del Rio by DQ (5:12) R-Truth (w/ Kofi Kingston) defeated Jack Swagger (w/ Dolph Ziggler & Vickie Guerrero) (3:18) Darren Young & Titus O'Neil defeated Santino Marella & Zack Ryder (2:48) Brodus Clay defeated Hunico (0:50) Chris Jericho defeated Sheamus by DQ (10:12) |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 19 2013, 12:53 PM Post #69 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw May 14th, 2012 Pittsburgh, PA This is another unfortunate 55 minute episode. In the back, Triple H is here in an arm cast. Johnny says he has his support and sympathy, but H keeps walking and wishes him luck on Sunday. Triple H comes out to the ring, and he gets on the mic, so I'll only get like 35 minutes of a real show this week. He says he's had worse injuries, but he's offended by Brock Lesnar, that he said he had to bring legitimacy back to the WWE. He says he was in a ring in front of 78,000 people in the most watched WrestleMania ever against The Undertaker, and all he could think was that he wished someone would come along and make it legitimate. Watching this again, I notice how he moves his injured arm around a lot. Dude's never really been good at limb selling, I guess. He says Brock's ignorance offends him, but he was also embarrassed, not because he got attacked from behind, but because he bought into Brock's crap and his hype. He says he bought into it in 2002 and believed that he was just a simpleton farm boy, and sure enough, Brock dominated the WWE. He could put away most people with a little bit of effort because of the insane gifts he had, but when he had to fight for it, when he lost the WWE Title and things became hard, he quit. He went to the UFC with all his hype, and he did the same thing. Then when he lost the title, he quit. Same story. Two weeks ago, Brock got told no, and Brock did what he does, and Brock Lesnar quit. Brock's theme hits, but Paul Heyman comes out with some guy in a suit. Paul says this is damage control, what every promoter says when they lose their biggest star. Paul says Triple H is trying to be a business man now, but he screwed up, because this is an open and shut case. He says everyone saw the verbal contract between Johnny and Brock, and Triple H committed breach of contract. He says they don't get Brock Lesnar, but then the man serves Triple H with papers, and Paul says that's a lawsuit for the millions of dollars that he owes him now. Paul says on a professional level, Brock is disappointed, but on a personal level, Brock is let down, because he was expecting so much more from a fight with him than a corporate sycophant who hasn't lived up to his hype in years. Triple H grabs his face and backs him into the corner but lets go, and says to tell Brock Lesnar that he's going to get everything he deserves. Paul says that was assault and battery, AND THAT'S LAWSUIT #2! YEAH! TONIGHT: BIG SHOW VS. KANE Match #1: CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes Cole says Cody is trying to start an IC/US Title rivalry. That's good, I hope they follow up on that! This was a very entertaining 7 minutes. Santino is actually funny for once here, trying to do a Tope Suicida after Punk's, but being scared and stopping, and then diving for a hot tag, but falling on his face and missing by inches. Punk has a good hot tag, but Danielson bails out. Cody gets shoved into the corner and cowers back away from the Cobra, but into the GTS for the win. **3/4 Match #2: Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox Decent squash. Glam Slam ends it. 3/4* MAKE A WISH BONER. John Laurinaitis and David Otunga come out to sit ringside. Match #3: The Big Show vs. Kane This was full of ridiculous stuff like opening mat work and a Kane crossbody, so it was one of their more interesting matches. Kane hits one of the shittiest Chokeslams ever, like a choke STO, to win. *3/4 The AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWFUL Laurinaitis/Show apology segment then eats up the rest of the runtime. Rest of the results: Brodus Clay, WWE Tag Team Champions R-Truth & Kofi Kingston defeated Mike Mizanin, Dolph Ziggler, & Jack Swagger Chris Jericho defeated Randy Orton via disqualification There was also a Cena/Johnny seg where I think it got revealed that Johnny's job was on the line at the PPV. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 19 2013, 04:06 PM Post #70 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown May 18th, 2012 Hershey, PA John Laurinaitis comes out to open the show and gets on the mic. He says he disagrees with the decision by the Board, and says they've banned everyone from ringside and put his job on the line, and says this is like leading a lamb to slaughter, and this is not fair. He says he can still bench 250 and run a 6 minute mile, but that doesn't mean he's quite ready. He asked the Board to reconsider, and they said no. He asks for everyone's support and for them to pray for him, and they all boo. CM Punk comes out, which is good because at this rate, one needs to be on SD regularly too to win WOTY. He gets on the mic and says he doesn't pray, and he's been praying just like everyone else, and their prayers have been answered and when John Cena beats him, he gets terminated. He asks John if he knows how much people hate him and how he abuses his power and talks about him firing The Big Show. Johnny then books Punk vs. Kane tonight, and Punk says he'll still be here with the title next week, unlike him and his job. TONIGHT: SHEAMUS/ORTON Match #1: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Prime Time Players This was like 2 minutes, and a total nothing match. I enjoy PTP a lot, but they're nowhere near skilled enough to carry Kofi and Truth, since it's becoming a superhuman feat to get anything passable out of Kofi especially. Truth wins with Black Finisher. 3/4* MAKE A WISH STUFF. Damien Sandow is again supposed to make his debut, now against Yoshi Tatsu, but he comes out with the microphone, and refuses like last week. He says he has another unworthy opponent and will not subject anyone to witness such an abhorrent contest. He says he will not demean himself by engaging this ignoramus this evening, and he does this for the benefit and well being of all of you. You're welcome. Yoshi calls him a chicken, so Sandow beats him up. In the back, Striker interviews both Sheamus and Randy Orton. Sheamus says he's glad it's a four way so he can show off what a great champion he is, and he says unlike someone, he used to be a real hothead until he learned to control his anger. Orton says unlike someone, he used to be so confident that he came off like an idiot, and he can't wait to win the World Title again, even if he doesn't pin the champion for it. Sheamus says he could Brogue Kick him right now, but he's a nice guy and he'll wait. Orton says he is a nice guy, but he's not, and they know where nice guys finish. Match #2: Daniel Bryan vs. Zack Ryder They get 3 minutes this time, and it's a good little match. Bryan gets real brutal, Zack has a solid tiny comeback, and Bryan makes him tap to the Yes Lock. ** Daniel Bryan then joins commentary for the next match. Match #3: CM Punk vs. Kane This is always a solid enough match, and it delivers again. This is the kind of big/small match that both men excel at. Kane isn't as game for it as he was in their 2008 and 2009 matches though, so it's not great so much as very good. Kane works the ribs and Punk fights back. Punk hits the Tope Suicida, but Daniel ends it by Kane with a chair for the DQ. **1/2 Danielson runs away, so Kane thinks Punk did it, and he hits Punk with the Chokeslam and kills him with a chair. Match #4: Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella This is 2 minutes before Santino wins with the Cobra. LOLCODY. *1/2 RAW REBOUND! Match #5: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton This is another Orton/Sheamus match. Their usual issues of struggling to fill time and them not clicking at all continue to be a factor in this being below average. Good arm selling by Sheamus again, but Orton never works on it and nobody mentions it. Finishing run is pretty good stuff though. Sheamus avoids the RKO and gets a roll up for the win. I hate that this is the SD match so far in 2012 that got 15+ minutes. **1/4 Sheamus offers his hand, and Orton hits the RKO. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 19 2013, 11:24 PM Post #71 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 ![]() WWE Over The Limit 2012 May 20th, 2012 Raleigh, NC Match #1: People Power Battle Royal This is happening as the show comes on the air. Cole says the winner will get a shot at the IC Title or US Title later tonight. The midcard fills this out, so Regal's carrying shit, AND HEY YEAH CHRISTIAN'S IN THERE! McGillicutty initially gets the London Award with a crazy neck bump on the apron before falling to the floor. Regal vs. Kidd is awesome. REGAL/CHRISTIAN HAPPENS AGAIN! YEAH! It comes down to Christian and The Miz, and they have a very nice little run, before Christian drops him out to win! Christian, Kidd, and Regal all shined here. **1/4 They assume it will be Christian/Santino, and then that leads into the introduction video. When she comes out for the Tag Title match, Vickie says should Mr. Laurinaitis unfortunately lose his job, she is the obvious candidate for the new General Manager, as she is the only one with experience in managing both shows. Match #2: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero [WWE Unified Tag Team Championship] Ziggler tried his best. But this is 12 minutes with three guys with a really low performance level, and Swagger was in more than Ziggler for the bulk of the match's control segment. Ziggler and Kofi have a great finishing run as they usually do, and that saves this from being totally useless. Cool finish too as Kofi catches Ziggler trying the Stinger Splash in mid-air with Trouble in Paradise for the win. ** In the back, Eve has Reks and Hawkins go around and confiscate all anti-Laurinaitis signs in the crowd. Match #3: Layla [c] vs. Beth Phoenix [WWE Divas Championship] This is decent enough. Layla tries hard and Beth works over her knee. Some cool spots, and Layla wins with the Layout. ** In the back, Striker asks Orton about the "controversy" on Smackdown. Orton says Sheamus knew what was up, and it was his way of saying his win on Smackdown means nothing compared to who wins tonight. He says Sheamus would have done the same thing to him, and nobody likes each other out there. Chris Jericho comes over and says he liked that match on Friday and says words and claims to be the best in the world at what he does. Orton says he'll make him the best in the world at getting RKO'd. Match #3: Sheamus [c] vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] This was literally the match you could have expected. About half blatant time-killing that looks pretty shoddy and is totally hollow, and then 5-7 minutes of really cool finisher reversal spots from Sheamus, Jericho, and Orton. ADR is still basically useless for offense in a bomb-throwing match like this. Good Sheamus/Jericho run at the end, and Sheamus wins with the White Nose to retain the title. Oh well. **3/4 In the back, Cody Rhodes is talking to Eve and says he's glad Christian is fighting Santino, because he would wipe the ring with him because of how long he's been on the shelf. Christian comes over and asks what they're talking about. Cody says he was saying what a great US Champions he's going to be, so Christian says he's full of crap, and he heard him. And that means he's changed his mind, and he'll see him out there. Match #4: The Miz vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THIS BLEW. Brodus needs guys who will bump around for him and throw in cool offense and control stuff to make his comeback look like he's earned it, but Miz can't do any of that. Brodus comes out and wins with the Splash. *1/2 PLEASE. DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME. Match #5: Cody Rhodes [c] vs. Christian [WWE Intercontinental Championship] This was only 7 minutes, but it showed a lot of promise. Not a classic Christian style formula with limbwork, but they didn't have the time for that, so they just did a general piece of control work before the comeback and great finishing run. Cody loses his cool and yells at the crowd, and then gets caught with the Unprettier AND FUCK YEAH CHRISTIAN WINS THE BELT! **1/2 NO WAY OUT: JUNE 17TH! In the back, Josh interviews CM Punk, and shows the footage from SD. He says he feels bad, but at the end of the night, he'll smile again because Laurinaitis is fired. Before that, he has to deal with Daniel Bryan, who he's known for 10 years. And in 2002, if you told Vince McMahon to his face that this match would be for the WWE Title, he would have first asked who the hell either of them were, and his head would have exploded. He says this match is a triumph in itself and it should be a reward for them both, but Bryan's changed, and in changing, he's gotten on his bad side. AJ comes over and says she can't wait to watch it, and wishes him luck. Match #6: CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [WWE Championship] This is a great fucking match. First of all, outside of the story, there's a TON of great callbacks. The fight over the Surfboard, Punk saying that HE has until five, a Curb Stomp, and the best one, which was Danielson using the same Sitting Abdominal Stretch that won their first match together in April 2004. Take away all that cool stuff, and it's still a really smart match. Danielson goes after the ribs hurt on SD, and Punk targets the knee to take some of the strength off of the kicks and knees. Great selling by both men, and they really just hold the knee or ribs after 90% of everything they do, and it's great. Danielson gets the Yes Lock on at the end, but Punk manages to roll him on his back for the pin, and taps out after the three count. **** Daniel Bryan argues with the ref. In the back, Eve and Otunga berate Teddy for smiling. He says if Mr. Laurinaitis is terminated, then maybe one of them could take his job. Match #7: Ryback vs. Camacho w/ Hunico Good 2 minute squash. Shellshock ends it. Cole says Ryback has shoulders like boulders, and now I'm singing Rhett Titus' theme from 2008 out loud. God damnit. *3/4 A hype video airs for the main event. Match #8: John Cena vs. John Laurinaitis [Laurinaitis' Job On The Line] I have no idea why this is the main event, but this is that point where they pretty much stopped even trying to pretend Punk was the top guy, even as a 6 month long WWE Champion. You can explain it away for Mania and Extreme Rules, but this is a Cena match against a non-wrestler with a fuck finish, it's the kind of match designed for the middle of the card. And hey, the match. Whatever. The first like 5 minutes or so are an AMAZING comedy match. Cena punishes Johnny by throwing awesome stiff shots and being just a total dick, and it's so entertaining. CENA DOES AN AIRPLANE SPIN. He can pin him or make him tap, but he refuses. This gets bad when Johnny works on the arm and it becomes a real match. Cena chases him through the crowd, and hey Big Show's here. Hey, he knocks out Cena. Who saw that coming? Johnny pins him to win. *3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 11:57 AM Post #72 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw May 21st, 2012 Richmond, VA I've tried for hours to watch the opening segment, and it always makes me immediately stop because I hate everything. featured an opening in-ring promo by John Cena in which he discussed losing to John Laurinaitis the previous night at Over the Limit after interference from the Big Show; moments later, Eve interrupted from the entrance stage and introduced Laurinaitis, who drove out in a scooter and using a crutch; Laurinaitis then took the mic and discussed the multiple injuries he sustained in the match with Cena; he then said Cena or no one else could touch him again or they would be terminated, then introducing Big Show; Laurinaitis said he rehired Show on Saturday, then adding Cena would face Show at No Way Out; Show then took the mic and discussed being fired the previous week and crying on national television, then telling the fans they had no right to judge him; Show finished by saying he would knock Cena out at No Way Out; after Show returned backstage, David Otunga came out and said he too would beat Cena, with Cena warning him to go backstage and watch reruns of 'Law & Order' because he would hurt him in the ring; Otunga then dedicated the opening match to Laurinaitis Match #1: John Cena vs. David Otunga This is a two minute Cena squash, and that's fine. Cena does a sweet Stinger Splash, and he hits the FU before putting on the STFU for the win. *1/2 The PTP and Reks & Hawkins come out to attack John Cena, but Sheamus runs out. He shoves over Laurinaitis as he runs out to save, and he and Cena run off the midcarders. Johnny yells at them for attacking Cena without his permission, but then books Cena & Sheamus vs. three opponents tonight in a lumberjack match. Thanks for naming the opponents, Johnny. TONIGHT: ORTRON VS. ADR, BRYAN CALLS OUT CM PONK Before ADR's entrance, Santino comes out and hits Ricardo with the Cobra because they're feuding on the youtube shows. JUST FUCKING PUT THEM ON TV THEN IF YOU'RE OVERLW3OIHERPOJHPHORG FUCK. Santino is a bully but he does it with a funny accent and bad English, so it's okay I guess. He introduces ADR instead, and does it horribly. Cole then fucking announces that Raw expands to three hours every week after July 23rd's Raw #1000 episode. Great, the three hour Raws haven't been extra horrible or anything. Fuck everything. Match #2: Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio This is 4 minutes of meandering low level offense, and then Chris Jericho comes out to hit Randy with the Code Breaker for the DQ. They are testing me. *3/4 Jericho keeps repeating that he is the best in the world at what he does like a crazy person. Go away. That hurts to say, but he's now on the list of people who really need to go away. He hits another Code Breaker and then a third, but this never happens because Orton gets Wellness'd again and Jericho fucks an Indian flag and is suspended. Daniel Bryan comes out and gets on the mic. He says last night, he was robbed and he should be the new WWE Champion right now. He shows the footage and says he made CM Punk tap out. Should he be the WWE Champion? YES. IF he faces CM Punk again, will he make him tap out again? YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. He demands his rematch, and CM Punk comes out. He says that was a nice clip, but he missed the part where he PINNED HIM FIRST. Punk then shows clips of Bryan attacking Kane on Smackdown, and brings out Kane to fight Bryan. Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane Punk joins commentary and claims he booked this. This is 90 seconds because this show is trying to get me. Danielson hits the Tope Suicida and Punk grabs a chair. He goes to hit Kane to get revenge for Smackdown, but Bryan grabs it. Punk backs off, and Kane sees Daniel with the chair. Kane hits him with it for the DQ. *1/2 Kane wears Bryan out with it and hits the Chokeslam in the ring. Kane leaves, so Punk gets in and puts on the Anaconda Vice and now Bryan taps out. Commentary talks more about Bork and H and Heyman, which is better than another segment. Match #4: Christian vs. Jinder Mahal Christian only has 3 minutes, so even one of the best carriers in the history of the WWE can't get anything out of this piece of shit with that little time. Instead, he just does his offense. He hits the Killswitch, and then does his kind of shitty Frog Splash for the win. I'm glad this idea didn't last. *1/2 Match #5: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly They do stuff for 2 minutes, and Layla is seen watching in the back. Beth squashes K2 and wins with the Glam Slam. 3/4* John Cena and Sheamus come out for the match, and Vickie Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger as two of their opponents. Tensai comes out next, and is just Tensai now, having somehow lost his lordship. Tragic. All the lumberjacks come out, and they are all heels. John Laurinaitis comes out on the stage in the People Power scooter to watch. Match #6: John Cena/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai [Lumberjack Match] This at least gets like 10 minutes and the actual match before it breaks down into a shitty lumberjack match is good stuff. You've got four good wrestlers (and Jack Swagger) in there, so most of the pairings are good. Sheamus/Tensai and Cena/Ziggler stand out the most. This is one of the better lumberjack matches in recent history, since it's a match within the framework of the match, and not entirely based on getting the stip over. The Big Show comes out to watch and Johnny isa now mysteriously gone. Cena gets the hot tag, but then everything breaks down when the lumberjacks all interfere. **1/2 Babyfaces run out to instigate a huge brawl and Big Show leaves. John Cena runs to the back after The Big Show, but he finds Johnny. Cena then turns around into the KO Punch to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 01:03 PM Post #73 |
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Antonio Cesaro w/ Aksana vs. Tyson Kidd, Superstars (May 24th) Awesome under 10 minute match. Claudio is again the best base for high flyers in the world and takes big bumps for Tyson. His control segment is full is amazing power spots. Striker goes overboard on commentary saying Cesaro is very European and wrestles a Chikara style, which isn't a style. Kidd does his stuff, and Claudio blocks a Tornado DDT and his the Pop Up European Uppercut, followed by the Neutralizer for the win. A little too much of a Claudio showcase to be great, but god damn, this was good. **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 01:45 PM Post #74 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown May 25th, 2012 Wilkes-Barre, PA featured an opening in-ring promo by Eve in which she discussed John Laurinaitis not being at the show due to an international business trip, adding she was left in charge of the show and would deal with World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus; Eve then said Sheamus would apologize for bumping into Laurinaitis on Raw and she would name his opponent for No Way Out; moments later, Alberto Del Rio walked out, praised Eve, and asked for the title shot at the pay-per-view; Randy Orton then interrupted and said he should get the title shot, with Kane then walking out and noting it was Smackdown episode 666; Eve then said the three would face off later in the show, with the winner earning the title shot Match #1: Christian vs. Hunico w/ Camacho Awesome 3 minutes. Hunico has great offense to fill time, and Christian's stuff is great. They work pretty well together, and Christian wins with the Killswitch and Frog Splash. I would like a longer match, but Christian's only here for like 2 months anyways. ![]() ** Cody Rhodes comes out with the mic and says for 257 days, he elevated that title back up and wiping the dirt off that title and restoring it to past glory. He says he made it mean something again, and Christian ruined that at Over The Limit. Well, no. Come on, blame the Big Show. He says it will only take him three seconds to change all of it. Match #2: The Prime Time Players vs. The Usos Another good three minute match, since this is a good match up. Booker spends all match burying the Usos for no reason despite them getting like 90% of the offense. And it's all really good before they hit Jimmy Uso with the Demolition Decapitation for the win. ** MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. SIN CARA RETURNS! NEXT WEEK! Match #3: Ryback vs. Ricky Reyes/Brian Edwards IT'S RICK NOON, BITCH! Ryback murdering Ricky Reyes was awesome, and Rybork hits them both with the Shellshock at the same time to win. *3/4 Match #4: Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez Well, this happened. Decent 2 minute comedy match due to Ricardo doing awesome stooging and comedy selling. They do an double dizziness sell off an Airplane Spin, so this won me over. Santino wins with the Cobra. *1/2 Sheamus comes out, and he gets on the mic. He's a horrible human being and a bully who cannot admit any wrongdoing on his part, so instead of apologizing for clumsily knowing over his boss, which would be totally fair, he says it was an accident and you don't apologize for it. Yeah dude, you do, when you knock an injured guy over, you say "I'm sorry". It's what people do. Fuck you, Andy. He apologizes for Mr. Laurinaitis being an arse. USE REAL WORDS. He calls Eve and Otunga horse's arses too, so Vickie comes out and says Eve's booked him in a match vs. Jack Swagger. WHY ARE WE, THE VIEWING PUBLIC, BEING PUNISHED FOR THIS? Match #5: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero This wasn't the worst thing ever, but it was also not good. They got 7 minutes or so, and it was sort of a wrestler vs. brawler match. Sheamus' striking is good and he holds up his end, but Swagger's a pretty shitty wrestler for this kind of a style and can't go on the mat or brawl with Sheamus effectively. He works on the ankle of Sheamus, but he doesn't care about selling it. Sheamus gets out of the Doctor Bomb and hits the Bro Kick to win. ** Match #6: Damien Sandow vs. Yoshi Tatsu Good debut squash, but very short at some 45 seconds. Sandow wins with the Straitjacket Neckbreaker. * featured an in-ring promo by Big Show in which he discussed his firing the previous week, adding he loves what he does, and he made a deal to get his "life" back if he agreed to help Laurinaitis against John Cena; Show finished by saying he didn't care about the fans because they didn't care about him Kane comes out for the main event, but Daniel Bryan runs out to attack him with a chair. He beats him down with the chair before referees come out to make him leave. Match #7: Randy Orton vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio [#1 Contender's Match] This sure as fuck occurs. They at least keep it short at something like 7-8 minutes, and Orton/Del Rio is good when they're trying. Kane's injury mostly keeps him out of the way, which is for the best. He gets back in at the end, so Bryan comes back out for a distraction. Orton hits Kane with the RKO, but ADR kicks Orton away and steal the cover to win. **1/4 Sheamus comes out to stare down ADR to end the show. CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS ONE, GUYS. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 05:31 PM Post #75 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw May 28th, 2012 New Orleans, LA Big Show comes out to talk and oh my god, I can't. I don't care. I don't even give a little bit of a shit, this is all terrible. featured an opening video package noting it being Memorial Day in America; included an in-ring promo by the Big Show in which he said he had an iron-clad contract and was set for life, adding he could do whatever he wanted to whomever he wanted; Show went on to say he was a giant, not an entertainer, and was offended that Brodus Clay was dancing in the ring immediately after Show was fired two weeks earlier, then adding he thought WWE Tag Team Champions Kofi Kingston & R-Truth were his friends when they too danced; Show went on to say the fans and John Cena saw him as a joke but Cena would be facing an unstoppable giant at No Way Out TONIGHT: PUNK VS. BRYAN! Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella This is like 30 seconds, and ADR wins with the Cross Armbreaker. Okay then. 1/2* Ricardo repeatedly announces ADR as the winner right in Santino's face. In the back, A-Ri tries to hit on Eve, but The Big Show comes over. Eve says Johnny says he can pick his own opponent tonight, and she leaves. Show looks at Riley and he backs off. Show says he's not picking him, but he's got a message for him to deliver to the locker room, and he throws him into the wall. Match #2: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero [WWE Tag Team Championship] Ziggler tries really hard again, and this time he only has to carry this for 8 minutes instead of 12. And about 3-4 of that is butchered by a commercial because at some point after 2009, WWE forgot how to properly lay these things out. That means this is not as good as the PPV, but also less painful due to length. Truth is whatever, Kofi looks afraid to do anything dangerous, and Swagger exists. Dolph tries hard, but Swagger gets the finishing run vs. Truth, so that blows. Black Finisher ends it. *1/2 Ziggler walks out on Swagger finally and says he's better than this. In the back, Santino is walking and holding his arm, but Big Show grabs him by the face. He says maybe he should pick Santino because he didn't look too mad when he got fired. Brodus Clay comes over and Show throws Santino to the side. Brodus says he heard he's got beef and says to do something about instead of talking behind his back and fight him tonight. Show says if he wants it, he's got it, but he won't be dancing after tonight, because he won't be WALKING after tonight. John Laurinaitis, Eve, and David Otunga, and he takes the scooter out to the ring before getting in on crutches. He officially recognizes Show vs. Brodus tonight, and there's a display behind them. He makes Show/Cena at No Way Out into a Steel Cage Match too, just to make sure it's enough of a punishment for the crowd. He unveils the new cover of WWE '13 featuring him, but CM Punk comes out. He says that's not the cover and the real cover is much better, and the huge cover with him on it drops from the ceiling. Punk says his is bigger and says he sees Eve looking at it. A wrestling video game with an actual wrestler on the cover, it's amazing. He kicks them out so he can beat Daniel Bryan, and says to watch out for the Board, because they're watching. Johnny wishes him luck and they leave. Match #3: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan This gets about 12-13 minutes, but it's not great since they clearly are saving stuff and this is more about an angle. AJ comes out to ringside in a CM Punk t-shirt and both men get distracted. Bryan uses it to undo the top turnbuckle though. Punk does stuff and asks why she's here, but Danielson then throws him into the steel buckle and pins him to win. **3/4 Kane comes out and hits Bryan with a chair to the back and then the Chokeslam on the chair! Kane goes after Punk, but AJ slides another chair into him, and Punk runs off Kane with a ton of chair shots. Kane retreats and is mad, and AJ smiles at Punk, who is still confused. Cody Rhodes is on commentary. Match #4: Christian vs. The Miz They get 4 minutes now, but it's basically the same deal. Miz is better than Jinder, but not as good as Hunico. Christian wins with the Killsvitch and Frog Splash. *3/4 In the back, Big Johnny complains to Eve and Otunga, and Otunga says he'll beat Sheamus tonight for him. The Miz is still in the ring and demands to be treated like the superstar that he is. Randy Orton comes out and hits him with the RKO and he leaves. In the back, Ziggler and Vickie are watching and Ziggler says he wants Orton's spot and out of this tag team. Match #5: Sheamus vs. David Otunga Decent three minute Sheamus showcase. Bro Kick ends it. *3/4 A recap airs of Show's turn and KOing Cena two nights in a row. Cole calls this the darkest 24 hours in the history of the WWE. First of all, when did he turn on Laurinaitis? Secondly, LOL. Yeah, no. Brodus Clay comes out to the ring, and Show comes out to the stage. He gets on the mic before the match and says Brodus is as much of a sell out as him, if not more. He says he reminds him of Doink the Clown, except Doink actually has talent. Brodus comes to the floor as Show walks down and Show hits him with a Spear. He beats the shit out of him, and then murders Kofi and Truth too when they come out to save. He knocks out Clay with the JO Punch, and Johnny comes onto the stage. Show walks to the back and they raise their hands on the stage. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 05:46 PM Post #76 |
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Top 10 Matches - May 2012: 1. CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan, Over The Limit (May 20th) 2. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (May 4th) 3. Sheamus [c] vs. Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Alberto Del Rio, Over the Limit (May 20th) 4. Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd, Superstars (May 24th) 5. CM Punk/Santino Marella vs. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes, Raw (May 14th) 6. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan, Raw (May 28th) 7. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan/Lord Tensai, Raw (May 7th) 8. Cody Rhodes [c] vs. Christian, Over the Limit (May 20th) 9. John Cena/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger/Tensai, Raw (May 21st) 10. CM Punk vs. Kane, Smackdown (May 18th) Wrestler of the Month: Daniel Bryan (18 Points) Tag Team of the Month: Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger (5 Points) |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2013, 09:56 PM Post #77 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown June 1st, 2012 Baton Rouge, LA TONIGHT: PUNK VS. KANE FOR THE WWE TITLE! Sheamus comes out to open the show, and that fucking oaf gets a mic. He shows clips from last week, and apparently after I stopped watching the show because it was bad and I wanted to cry, Sheamus hit ADR with a cheap shot Brogue Kick on the stage, because he's a bully. He says ADR thinks money can buy him everything and that he's better than everyone else, but it can't buy him the World Heavyweight Title. David Otunga comes out and says he's here on behalf of John Laurinaitis and wants a REAL apology. Sheamus says nobody orders him to do anything, and if his boss wants an apology he can come ask for it to his face. He's become a total piece of shit since winning the title. ADR comes out to the ring and says this peasant won't apologize, and he's nothing but a street hooligan. He says Sheamus will lose his title at No Way Out, but Otunga wants a more immediate consequence and says ADR will choose Sheamus' opponent tonight. Sheamus hits Otunga with the Brogue Kick and ADR bails. I hate this already. Match #1: Sin Cara vs. Heath Slater Hey, Sin Cara's back. Really good 3 minute showcase. Like 95% of his stuff is really smooth and cool, and Slater makes him look awesome. He wins with La Mistica. ** Match #2: Damien Sandow vs. Ezekiel Jackson Good 90 seconds as another Damien showcase. Zeke explodes with power spots, but Damien escapes the Torture Rack. He goes wild with knees and shit, and hits the Straitjacket Neckbreaker to win. *1/2 In the back, Ziggler asks ADR to put him against Sheamus tonight so he can soften him up. ADR says he likes his passion, and says this gringo can have the match. Match #3: Ryback vs. Ryan Shelton/Chris Lyons DED. Really great squash since they were not afraid to die. Double Shellshock kills the jobbers and gets him the win. ** RAW REBOUND. Match #4: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero This gets 10 minutes, so it's very good. Actually, I'd almost call it great, because they clicked more here than in their matches earlier in the year. Ziggler does like 60-70% of the work his bumping and offense, but Sheamus hangs with him and doesn't embarrass himself. Booker T finally drops another epic Bookerism by complaining about Dolph's headstand chinlock and says, "I DON'T LIKE THAT, COLE. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS? THAT'S SHOWING OFF, AND IT'LL GET HIM NOWHERE." It's kind of upsetting though how Sheamus comes back into it and it's over in a minute, and it's an abrupt ending that holds this back. Swagger tries to interfere, but Sheamus shoves Ziggler into him and wins with the Brogue Kick. **3/4 In the back, Striker interviews CM Punk. Punk says Little Johnny can order him into any match he wants, because all he cares about with him is getting the WWE Title onto anybody else. He says they can't stand each other, but Kane's tough and scary with some cute nicknames. He says he can be the big red machine, but his nickname's the only one that matters. Best in the World. And he'll put the Devil's Favorite Demon right to sleep. Match #5: The Prime Time Players vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder Alright 90 seconds with a super abrupt finish. PTP control Santino for all of the match, but then he gets a roll up on D-Young for the upset. *1/4 They leave, and Big Show destroys them on the stage. In the back, Daniel Bryan goes up to AJ, who is again in a CM Punk t-shirt. He says Punk doesn't care about her and he's just using her, and he thinks she's crazy like everyone else. AJ says he's jealous and says he doesn't care what she does anyways. He laughs and says he doesn't, but he used to, which is more than he can say for CM Punk. Christian comes out to do commentary. Match #6: Cody Rhodes vs. Tyson Kidd Kidd makes Cody look awesome again, but loses to Cross Rhodes in like a minute. * Match #7: CM Punk [c] vs. Kane [WWE Championship] They also get 10+ minutes, so they can have a real match. AND THIS IS GREAT, WHAT?! Punk goes after the arm and has lots of great arm work. This is basically a slower and longer version of their fantastic Backlash 2009 match with power vs. arm work. Kane sells well and takes over with his power. AJ comes out and is concerned. Punk has a good comeback and they have some really good counters. Daniel Bryan comes out, and Punk cuts him off once, but he gets back up and hits both men with a Double Flying Dropkick for the no contest. *** Daniel Bryan keeps attacking both men, but Kane fights back, and hits a Double Chokeslam. Kane leaves, and Johnny comes out to book a three way for the WWE Title at No Way Out. PEOPLE POWER! |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 01:16 PM Post #78 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw June 4th, 2012 Greenville, SC HEY, ANOTHER HORRIBLE SHOW/CENA/LAURINAITIS FEUD SEGMENT. I HATE ALL OF THIS. featured an opening in-ring segment in which Michael Cole interviewed John Cena and blamed him for Big Show's recent violent actions; after the two argued, Cole said Cena was overrated and hoped Show takes care of Cena in their steel cage match at No Way Out; moments later, John Laurinaitis came out on his scooter, said Big Show was not in the building, and that he himself had retired from competition, then adding Cena could face anyone else; Cena then said he wanted to face Cole, with Laurinaitis agreeing despite Cole's pleas In the back, Johnny tells Cole that he can't show favorites, because everybody's job is going to be evaluated from what he heard. PEOPLE POWER! TONIGHT: PUNK/KANE - THERE MUST BE A WINNER Match #1: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero As usual in this new no-brand split era, if a match is good on Smackdown, it'll happen on Raw. This is only 5 minutes though, and quite upsetting. Ziggler is awesome here, with even more big bumps than on SD and some great cut-off spots too. Sheamus barely sells anything, and quickly comes back with the White Noise and then the Brogue Kick for the win. This is like that really upsetting 2004-5 run where Cena would constantly win with the Five Knuckle Shuffle followed by the FU to get over that that's the order of his finishing run, except in this case, Sheamus is going over actual great wrestlers with that instead of people like Kenzo, Rene, Carlito, OJ, Bashams, etc. **1/2 ADR attacks Sheamus on the stage post-match, and he has to be pulled off by referees when he puts on the Cross Armbreaker. In the back, AJ asks CM Punk if he thinks she's crazy. He avoids it, but he says he digs crazy chicks. In the back, Otunga tells Laurinaitis that Mr. McMahon is coming back next week to give him a performance review. Ratings must be low. Match #2: Sin Cara vs. Hunico w/ Camacho Awesome 3 minute match. Hunico is even better at carrying Sin Cara than Slater, and this is sad because this could have been a real feud after Hunico's mockery of the knee injury. Hunico's offense is also great, and Sin Cara wins with La Mistica. **1/4 RAW MEMORY: Cena says his favorite is his Raw debut in 2005 Match #3: Ryback vs. Stan Stansky/Arthur Rosenberg This is the best squash yet. Two minutes of every move being fucking murder and devastation and the double Shellshock ends it. ** Punk and Kane both come out, but Daniel Bryan comes out to ringside. He gets a mic and climbs on the announce table. He says it's question and answer time, and asks if AJ's completely delusional. YES! Will Kane destroy CM Punk tonight? YES! At No Way Out, will Daniel Bryan win the WWE Title? YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Bryan then sits down at ringside to watch. Match #4: CM Punk vs. Kane [There Must Be a Winner] This was pretty great again. They start off hot with multiple Punk dives and lots of energy before Kane cuts him off. They get about 10 minutes and it got time to be a real match. Punk brought lots of the gritty "punch/elbow at the knees or arms to escape power stuff" spots that I love in a big/little match. AJ comes out to stop Bryan's interference, and Punk hits Bryan with the Tope Suicida to stop him. He gets back in, but Kane then hits the Chokeslam for the win. *** Kane hits Bryan with the Chokeslam too, and he backs AJ into the corner, but she smiles at him. He is confused and leaves. Amazing. In the back, Josh interviews AJ. She acts insane with weird faces, and says she likes when men look at her. She flirts with Josh and he's creeped out because maybe he's gay or something, and she skips away laughing. A video airs to recap Big Show's turn. Match #5: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks This absolutely happens. The blacks when when Kofi hits that fucking kick. *1/4 RAW MEMORY: Triple H says his return was his favorite John Cena comes out for the match. John Laurinaitis comes out and says if he wants his match with Michael Cole and it can be a No DQ match too, but he has to win this match too, and brings out Tensai. And it begins. ![]() Match #6: John Cena vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto This is another really good Cena/Monster match. Cena has to go outside the box to stay alive, and Albert has tons of sweet cut-off power spots. Unfortunately, it's only like 5 minutes, and Tensai goes from real threat to midcard nonentity pretty much over the course of the match. He dominates to begin, but once Cena starts the comeback, he's the first guy in lose to the FU immediately after the Five Knuckle Shuffle. **1/2 Match #7: John Cena vs. Michael Cole [No DQ] This is horrible. Cena abuses Cole and it's less funny than OTL, and just kinda mean since Cole didn't even at one point used to be an active wrestler. Cena rips his pants and shirt off, makes him apologize to JR and Lawler, and sprays BBQ sauce on him. He then turns a fire extinguisher on him for like 30 seconds, but Tensai comes back to hit the Baldo Spinebuster. But he's worthless now, so Cena kicks out of Cole's cover. Cena is up in 20 seconds, and hits the FU and is totally fine and he wins. What the fuck was this? DON'T BE A BULLY. BE A STAR. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 01:59 PM Post #79 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT June 6th, 2012 Columbia, SC Figured I should at least watch the final two weeks of this show before it becomes an entirely different show, which I'll also review. It's Striker and Josh on commentary again, so I immediately regret this. Match #1: Tyler Reks vs. Jey Uso Well, Jey tries. This sucked, too much Reks. He wins with his horrible Burning Hammer. *1/4 TONIGHT: KIDD/GABRIEL VS. SLATER/CURTIS! Match #2: Percy Watson vs. JTG No. They've basically gutted everything that made NXT into the best wrestling show on TV over the last 6 months. No backstage segments, Regal is gone, they've seemingly gotten rid of Bateman, Kaitlyn, Maxine, the Kidd/McGillicutty feud, etc. You can blame it on cycling down for the relaunch of NXT in two weeks, but that's clearly bullshit. They were kicking ass, and then one week it started to decline, and after taking like a month off, the show is just basically another Supestars, with all lower card matches with no meaning or point to them. Someone found out about NXT, and it got cut off. There's no point in reviewing next week's show now. Fuck this company. Match #3: Natalya vs. Tamina They got 6 minutes, so this was good. Solid matwork and Natalya controls the match well. Tamina does her stuff and wins with the Superfly Splash though. ** RAW REBOUND! Match #4: Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. Johnny Curtis/Heath Slater This is good. Slater vs. Gabriel is a really good pairing, and Tyson Kidd is Tyson Kidd, he works well with everybody. Curtis is good, AND THEY EVEN TOOK "#LETSGETWEIRD" OFF HIS TRUNKS. OH MY GOD, I'M SO FUCKING UPSET WITH WHAT THEY'VE DONE TO THIS SHOW. Kidd and Gabriel work really well as a team. Both guys have good hot tags and dives, and they end up beating Curtis with a sweet Doomsday Blockbuster. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 02:06 PM Post #80 |
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Hunico w/ Camacho vs. Yoshi Tatsu, Superstars (June 7th) At least this is really good. Hunico's becoming sort of like what Drew and Masters and Goldust were to Superstars in 2010-11 where they're having all these fantastic matches with everyone. Hunico isn't as good as they are yet, since he's spottier, but he's been booked like them, basically. He has lots of great bumps and brings the best out of Yoshi. Camacho interferes, and Yoshi misses his Flying Spinning Heel Kick. Hunico then hits his version of the Olimpico Slam to win. **3/4 |
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6:53 PM Jul 10