| Simon Watches WWE - 2012 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 12 2013, 05:02 PM (12,943 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 03:38 PM Post #81 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown June 8th, 2012 Columbia, SC LOL OOPS. Alberto Del Rio vs. The Great Khali - *1/2 -ADR wins and he and Sheamus have a big brawl after the match Brodus Clay vs. Derrick Bateman - * Sin Cara vs. Drew McIntyre - ** Ryback vs. Jobbers - *1/2 Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler - **3/4 -AWESOME match that Christian wins, but only 6 minutes because show layout sucks. Cody says he'll use his rematch at No Way Out Antonio Cesaro vs. Jimmy Uso - *1/4 Sheamus vs. Kane - *3/4 -AJ distracts Kane, but then ADR attacks Sheamus again |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 07:26 PM Post #82 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw - THREE HOURS BECAUSE FUCK YOU June 11th, 2012 Hartford, CT Johnny comes out to open the show and talks about stuff, but Vince McMahon thankfully comes out to interrupt him. He asks why he shouldn't fire him. Johnny says Raw is approaching it's 100th episode, and Vince just shakes his head before Johnny corrects himself and says 1000th. He says they're a lot alike, before Vince tells him to shut up. He says he screwed up the Brock Lesnar deal, hired the wrong one legged wrestler, and gave Big Show a gigantic contract when he hasn't lived up to his billing in 13 years and he can't even speak in public because nobody can understand him. Sheamus comes out to ruin this somehow, and Cole says ADR is concussed and will be out of the title match at No Way Out. Sheamus says words AND OH MY GOD, SHUT THE FUCK UP. He sucks up and says Vince looks great and says Johnny fined him half a million just because he can. NO DUDE, YOU KICKED A REF BECAUSE YOU LOST A MATCH. Sheamus says he's the worst GM in history and everyone wants him to fire Johnny. He says he's going to find an opponent for Sheamus, and Vince says it better be a good opponent and every match better be impressive, and if he's not impressed by the end of the night, he's fired. Vince then rides the scooter up to the stage, and throws it off to the floor. ![]() Match #1: Sheamus vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto This RULES. They just beat the absolute shit out of each other and this is the kind of match Sheamus needs to be having to get him over as a tough guy brawler. Unfortunately, this was also only like 5-6 minutes because they continue to butcher under 10 minute matches with commercials because after Extreme Rules, everything about this fucking promotion is broken. But yeah, Tensai hits hard, Sheamus fights back, and hits flash Brogue Kick to win. **3/4 In the back, Vince tells Johnny that his opponent failed, so that's strike one. He asks who will replace ADR, so Vickie comes in to save. She says she represents two former World Champions in Ziggler and Swagger, and they would be perfect for a triple threat. Teddy says Khali and Christian are also former champions, and they could have an elimination match. Vince says that's a great idea, and Johnny says he was just thinking that, and Vince is not impressed. Johnny tries to fist bump Vince, but Vince says he has small hands. Back in the ring, Tensai slaps the shit out of Sakamoto. RAW MEMORIES: Seth Green co-hosts In the back, Striker interviews R-Truth. He says The Big Show will lose so Show blindsides him with the KO Punch. Match #2: Santino Marella/Layla vs. Ricardo Rodriguez/Beth Phoenix This happened. Pretty much all Layla vs. Beth, and Beth wins with the Glam Slam. *1/2 Ricardo mocks Santino for losing, so he rips off Ricardo's shirt, and he has a skin tight purple Justin Bieber t-shirt on. Ricardo flees in embarrassment. In the back, Kofi demands a match with The Big Show, so Johnny books it in a cage match. Vince says that's not bad. Daniel Bryan comes out, and he gets on the mic. He says one of them is not like the others, and he'll admit that he's nothing like CM Punk and Kane. He says they have a weakness in the form of a 95 pound little girl named AJ. He says CM Punk is jealous of when he made him tap out, so now he's trying to get with his ex-girlfriend, but his attempt to make him jealous is pathetic. Kane thinks it's getting to second when a woman looks him in the eyes and doesn't vomit, so he's obsessed with a woman who is still in love with Daniel Bryan. He says he can't blame her, BECAUSE ONCE YOU GO BRYAN, THERE'S NO POINT IN TRYIN'. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! He says he's not interested in her, but what he's interested in is the WWE Title. He says this week, the Q & A is short. Will he win the WWE Title this Sunday? YES. YES! YES! YES! YES! CM Punk comes out and says he sure does talk about AJ a lot. He says she's actually pretty cool and they have Daniel Bryan in common. He says AJ is WAY out of his league in the ring, and Daniel's not in his league in the ring. He says she's sorta crazy, but he digs crazy chicks, almost as much as he digs the WWE Title. Either he's gonna beat a deranged lunatic on Sunday, or he'll beat Kane. Daniel says he used to respect Punk, but he's changed. He's not the voice of the voiceless, because he panders to everyone, and these idiots are voiceless because they have nothing to say. Danielson says the biggest sell out in the WWE is CM Punk, and Punk says the only thing that's changed in the last year is that now he's WWE Champion, and he never compromised anything, and he wishes he could say that about Bryan. He says Bryan broke through the glass ceiling, but he's gone on to become an insecure jackass goatfaced moron. God fucking damnit. That's the start of that. Kane comes out and says in the last decade, he's set fire to everything, electrocuted Shane McMahon's testicles, and Tombstoned a priest. He says his pipebombs are actual pipebombs, and he'll leave with the WWE Title. AJ comes out and says to stop, and is again in a CM Punk shirt. AJ says she looked into Kane's eyes and she saw that deep down, he has a heart. Punk says you've gotta love crazy chicks. AJ says she knows she's not over Daniel yet, but Punk is the coolest guy she's ever known. AJ says she knows the best man will win, and Johnny books Punk/AJ vs. Future Team Friendship. Match #3: Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Great Khali [#1 Contender's Elimination Match] This is pretty good, as they get something like 10 minutes. Khali is out within 2 minutes, so that's good. Christian hits the Forg Splash and all three cover him. Christian then carries Swagger for 4-5 minutes like this is ECW 2009 again, and sells the ankle really well. Christian hits the Killswitch and Ziggler steals the cover to win. Ziggler/Christian gets another 4 minutes, and that's great stuff. Christian keeps selling the ankle because he's the best dude, and Ziggler continually kicks at his leg to create openings. Christian jumps off the top, but Ziggler ducks down. Christian lands on his feet, but it hurts his ankle, and Ziggler hits the Peace Zig to win! YEAH! *** In the back, Vince dances with the Funkadactyls. Ryder comes over after they leave, and Vince drops a WWYKI. Match #4: Ryback vs. Millard Fillmore/Rutherford "P.S." Hayes No big deal, JUST RYBACK SQUASHING FORMER U.S. PRESIDENTS. Double Shellshock ends it. ** ![]() B.A. STAR! In the back, Cena and Vince jerk each other off, and Cena says he'll handle his business on Sunday and tells Vince to handle his with Johnny. Cena leaves, and Otunga comes in. He tries to suck up, and Vince says nobody likes a lawyer, and nobody likes a sycophant. He says nobody respects someone who would actually kiss another man's ass, and says he means no offense, and William Regal is sitting there on the couch, and I'm assuming he's been there all night. Match #5: The Big Show vs. Kofi Kingston [Steel Cage Match] This is basically a squash that goes on for 7 minutes and becomes pretty fucking unbearable. Show hits the JO Punch, and then walks out of the cage to win. *3/4 Match #6: Sin Cara vs. Curt Hawkins Curt is a step down in jobber quality from Slater and Hunico and Drew. Hawkins fucks up a lot in terms of basing for him, and Sin Cara's back to botching. La Mistica ends it. *1/2 RAW MEMORY: Raw #1 Heath Slater is in the ring to face a former Raw main eventer. Slater gets on the mic and asks why we're celebrating the past anyways, because he's the current Raw superstar and he's right here. HE'S THE ONE MAN BAND BABY, AND IT'S TIME. IT'S SLATER TIME. Oh fuck. ![]() Match #7: Vader vs. Heath Slater AMAZING SQUASH. Vader's 2011-12 resurgence was amazing to watch, and this is such a great piece of redemption after his last Raw appearance. Vader wins with the Vader Bomb in three minutes. ** ![]() Another B.A. STAR video airs. Match #8: CM Punk/AJ vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane This is 5 minutes and more of an angle than a match, but you get some solid Punk/Bryan stuff in here. AJ is accidentally tagged in when Punk falls into the corner and Kane stalks her. But AJ's like, nah, and she skips around him before jumping onto Kane and she starts making out with him. Kane is totally confused and just tags out and leaves ahahahahahahaha. AJ tags out to Punk, and Bryan runs into a kick from the apron, and then the Flying Elbow ends it. ** AJ sits down like Punk in the middle of the ring, and everyone is confused. Vince comes out to end the show with the segment. OH MY GOD, WE'RE SO CLOSE. I DON'T CARE. JOHNNY IS FIRED IF BIG SHOW LOSES ON SUNDAY AND VINCE IS RINGSIDE. They fight, and Show accidentally hits Vince with the KO Punch. Moving on forever. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2013, 08:08 PM Post #83 |
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The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players, Superstars (June 14th) Good 5 minutes once again with this match up. This felt like their best match yet together. Great chops and strikes by Jey Uso early on, and then they took out his knee, because this is Superstars, and you WILL work a fucking limb here. It's not perfect since fucking Darren Young gets confused and works on the wrong leg for like 30 seconds before Titus corrects him. But Jey's selling is great. He can't jump for the hot tag because of the knee, so Jimmy Uso gets the tag later than PTP does. He cleans house well, but then they take out his knee too, and hit the Decapitation to win. **1/2 Hunico w/ Camacho vs. Justin Gabriel, Superstars (June 14th) They finally got something close to another London/Akio pairing here. They get about 12 minutes, and put out a really great cruiserweight style match. There's some great matwork in the beginning and middle. Both men have some good offense, and Gabriel has a sweet dive. Gabriel having the power advantage for once led to some nice moments of him in control before Hunico began to dominate. Lots of great cutoffs, and Hunico has a BEAUTIFUL Saito Suplex. The crowd chants "USA!" at them. Great work. Gabriel could have sold the arm more, but Hunico didn't go nuts on it or anything, so I can overlook it somewhat. Hunico wins with this AWESOME Snap Prawn Hold off the top. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 27 2013, 01:24 PM Post #84 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown June 15th, 2012 Manchester, NH AJ comes out and says everyone asks about Raw, but Vickie Guerrero comes out. She says she is not the story, but the story is the next World Heavyweight Champion, Dolph Ziggler! He comes out and says he's got two days before he becomes champion, and nobody cares about some 95 pound disgruntled Hot Topic employee. AJ says she stopped listening, but she knows she's supposed to be offended, and she calls him delusional if he thinks he's ready for the World Title. Him and his grandma. She slaps AJ, so AJ looks crazy. Vickie hides behind Dolph and CM Punk comes out! He says he won't excuse her, nor will AJ or the WWE Universe, He says she's a broken record, she comes out and yells and touts Dolph Ziggler, and then he doesn't come through. He says he heard it back in January when Dolph was saying he was gonna beat him for his title, and Daniel Bryan comes out. He says this is priceless, AJ's knight on shining armor, even after she made out with Kane on Monday. He says she probably said it was a tactic to save him, but she's got him wrapped around her finger. He says he'd like Punk to learn from his mistakes, but this is just like when he went into WrestleMania when she cost him the World Heavyweight Title, and if she's in Punk's corner, she'll cost him the WWE Title. Sheamus then comes out and says he's proven time and time again that it wasn't AJ's fault and says Daniel talks out of his arse so much that he doesn't know which end to talk to. SHUT THE FUCK UP. He says Ziggler had one great night, but he'll beat him again on Sunday, and says they should have their tag match right now. Fuck it, okay. Match #1: CM Punk/Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler AJ and Vickie are on the floor. This was barely 7 minutes, because they used the commercial break to trim out 90% of the heels' control segment. God damnit. 2012 is really infuriating, maybe the most outwardly upsetting year since 2005 or 1999, and I know shit like this is the tip of the iceberg. Anyways, all four work well together again. Sheamus has the hot tag and Sheamus is distracted by AJ pulling Vickie off the apron, and Ziggler gets a schoolboy to win. **1/2 Sheamus chases Ziggler away through the crowd because he can't handle a clean loss. Vickie yells at AJ in the ring, so AJ attacks her, until Vickie shoves her into the apron flees to the back. Kane comes out to the ringside area while she's down, and he carries her to the back. CM Punk goes after him and they fight into the ring. Kane hits Bryan with a Chokeslam too and then hits one on Punk for good measure. AJ starts laughing on the stage and Kane is weirded out. Match #2: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. Heath Slater This doesn't even go 30 seconds before Brodus wins with the Splash. This is becoming tiresome. 1/4* Otunga comes out to attack Clay post-match. Great. Oh, they have a match on the PPV pre-show. Layla comes out to do commentary. Match #3: Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox This is about 45 seconds, but also a squash. Glam Slam gets her the win. 1/2* included a segment in which John Laurinaitis came out to the entrance stage and made a public apology for what happened to Vince McMahon on Raw at the hands of the Big Show; Laurinaitis then talked about his team winning at WrestleMania, his beating Cena at Over the Limit, and brought out Show to the ring; Show then said he was never allowed to outshine the top names in WCW - Hulk Hogan, Sting, and Ric Flair among them - and said he came to the WWE, was talked into becoming the Big Show, and saw Cena, Punk, Randy Orton, and Sheamus surpass him; Show then said he would finally show the world what he was capable of and was no longer burdened by what the fans think of him, adding he saw his match at No Way Out as his "first match" and guaranteed victory; after Show and Laurinaitis left the ring, Michael Cole told them he recieved word John Cena was on his way from his home in West Newberry, MA Match #4: Christian vs. Jack Swagger w/ Vickie Guerrero Solid 3 minutes again. Christian brings the best out of Swagger, and I love knowing that Swagger is back where he belongs, jobbing to guys in 3 minutes or less. Christian wins with the Frog Splash. *1/2 Match #5: Ryback vs. Ari Cohen/Mike Testa DED. ** FEED. ME. MORE. Match #6: Damien Sandow vs. Tyson Kidd Another good but disappointingly short Sandow squash. Straitjacket Neckbreaker beats Kidd. *1/4 featured a backstage segment in which Cena walked into Laurinaitis's office to find it empty; included footage of David Otunga and Stephanie McMahon speaking at a YMCA in Hartford earlier in the day regarding the 'Be A Star' program; featured a closing in-ring segment by Cena in which he called out Show, with Laurinaitis coming out instead and saying Show wouldn't be coming out, adding he sent Show home to protect the No Way Out main event; Cena said he came out to knock Show out or get knocked out himself, adding Laurinaitis would get knocked out in Show's absence; the two continued to have words until Laurinaitis threatened to fire Cena on Monday, should Cena lose at No Way Out, with Cena knocking Laurinaitis out with a punch to the face to close the show |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 27 2013, 11:28 PM Post #85 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 ![]() WWE No Way Out 2012 June 17th, 2012 East Rutherford, NJ Match #1: Sheamus [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero [World Heavyweight Championship] Hey, they finally got 15 minutes. They still don't really seem to click, as there's some botches here, and something just feels off. There's also never any sense of peril at all, since Sheamus has beaten Ziggler twice in singles matches in the last month. But still, Ziggler takes some great bumps and has a great control segment. This also has that infamous moment where the crowd is loudly chanting "LET'S GO ZIGGLER!" and Lawler says to listen to the WWE Universe chant for Sheamus. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfmiGUvCNDs . Sheamus does his comeback and easily wins with White Noise and the Brogue Kick. I hate. **3/4 In the back, Johnny asks Vince to not go to ringside with his concussion tonight, so Vince shuts him out of his office. Match #2: Santino Marella vs. Ricardo Rodriguez [Tuxedo Match] I'm sorry, what? This is horrible. Remember when Santino defended his title? This gets 5 minutes, and Santino wins. Why was this a thing? Ricardo has ADR's face on the ass of his white briefs. 45/Poop In the back, Striker interviews CM Punk. Punk says he has no relationship and says AJ's crazy and he digs crazy chicks, but this is about the WWE Title. He says he's very focused, but AJ comes over. She wishes him luck and kisses him on the cheek, and Punk says luck is for losers. Match #3: Christian [c] vs. Cody Rhodes [WWE Intercontinental Championship] They get 12 minutes now, and that's all Christian needs. Cody works the arm and it's fine, but it's made great by Christian's bumps to transition to the arm work and his arm selling. Cody loses focus, which is the story of the match, and Christian can fight back. They do tons of really cool counters, and this is great. Cody goes back to the arm, but doesn't stay on it, and it costs him. Cody kicks out of the Killswitch, but after more counters, Christian beats him with the Spear. *** Match #4: The Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel vs. The Prime Time Players vs. The Colons w/ AW & Rosa Mendes [#1 Contender's Match] Really fun match. They tried some structure instead of straight up insanity, but with only 8 or so minutes, that didn't work out so well. Once the pace picked up, this was great. Colons did stuff, and the Usos and Kidd/Gabriel both had some wild dives and high spots. AW threw Primo back in while he was still in, and D-Young hits the Death by Roderick for the win, and AW holds back Epico from saving! **1/2 AW gets in, AND HE HIGH FIVES TITUS AND YOUNG AND IS WITH THE PTP! The Colons yell at him for his betrayal, but Titus and D-Young attack them and lay them out, before leaving with AW. MONEY IN THE BANK: JULY 15TH! A Bork/H recap video airs. Triple H comes out, and he gets on the mic. He's out of the brace, and to make a long segment short, he says his arm is close to 100%, and he challenges Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to cut out the lawsuits and do what Brock wants to do, and that's fight. He challenges Brock Lesnar to a match at SummerSlam! In the back, AJ also wishes Bryan good luck. He says he doesn't care, but she kisses him on the cheek and leaves. Match #5: Layla [c] vs. Beth Phoenix [WWE Divas Championship] This was fun and a very good power/speed match. Beth taunts Layla, so Layla steals her head dress and makes fun of her. She does speedy stuff but is eventually caught and dies. Layla has some cool counters and this then ends really abruptly with the Layout for the win. Wish they'd get like 10 minutes or something, since this is a good match. **1/4 In the back, AJ finds Kane. She wishes him good luck and kisses him on the cheek, but Kane stops her and makes out with her. Fuck yeah, Kane. Match #5: Sin Cara vs. Hunico w/ Camacho They get 6 minutes now, and this rules. Hunico has this sweet schoolboy into a deadlift one-arm Powerbomb. The crowd responds with chants for Zack Ryder. This fucking state. Anyways, Sin Cara comes back with stuff and wins with the La Mistica. **1/4 A hype video airs for the three way. Match #6: CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane [WWE Championship] This was great. There's no real down time here at all and everyone looks good. Punk/Bryan is obviously the best match up, but Kane holds his own against the other two and doesn't embarrass himself at any point. Some good sequences and counters in the second half, and yeah. This is also the first time they start talking about how long Punk's held the title and Cole puts it over huge. Punk kicks out of the Chokeslam, and AJ comes out. Punk accidentally shoves Kane into her on the apron, and she goes down hard. Punk hits the GTS on Kane to win. *** Punk celebrates, but Kane takes AJ to the back. AJ looks up and smiles at Punk celebrating in the ring. RAW GOES THREE HOURS ON JULY 23RD! FUCK. Match #7: Ryback vs. Rob Grimes/Dan Delaney SQUASH. DEAD. Only 90 seconds though. Rybork wins with the double Shellshock. *3/4 Ryback now yells "FEED. ME. THREE." SUMMERSLAM: AUGUST 19TH! Hype video for Cena/Show airs. Match #8: John Cena vs. The Big Show w/ John Laurinaitis [Steel Cage Match - Cena's Job vs. Laurinaitis' Job] Oh my god, fuck this match. I can always handle Cena vs. Monster, but this is always so fucking transparent. These two never work on PPV apart from Mania 20 here, and bring out the absolute worst in each other. Cena's no-selling and hamminess come out against Show, and Show always works extra slow and save with this jabrone. They barely used the cage, nothing new was added from their terrible 2009 PPV series, and it's just horrible and dull and upsetting. Brodus, Ryder, Santino, A-Ri, and Kofi all stop Show from winning in revenge, and after an FU, they do a race spot, and Cena wins. THIS WAS THE LONGEST MATCH OF THE SHOW, AT ALMOST 20 MINUTES. FUCK EVERYTHING. *3/4 Vince fires Johnny, and Cena put him through the announce table with the FU. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2013, 06:03 PM Post #86 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw June 18th, 2012 Long Island, NY TONIGHT: CYNDI LAUPER IS BACK Mick Foley comes out to open the show and says with the absence of a GM, the Board has reached out to several people to be interim General Managers, and he's hosting both Raw and Smackdown this week. Foley then books Punk and Sheamus vs. Bryan and Kane tonight. He says John Laurinaitis is allowed to give a farewell address, so he comes out. The crowd chants that he got fired and he calls them rude. He says he will give his address later tonight, but in his last match to book, he books Cena vs. himself, Big Show, and David Otunga. WHY. Match #1: CM Punk/Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane This gets 10+ minutes, so it's very good. However, they messed with the format too much, and had Sheamus as the primary face in peril. Punk's a really good face in peril, he's shown it multiple times since coming to WWE, and Sheamus is not. Sheamus is an excellent hot tag. He has lots of impressive power offense and works best in short bursts, so he's a guy pretty much designed for that. Anyways, Punk vs. Bryan rules again at the end. AJ comes out in a Kane mask and outfit, and skips around the ring and to the back. Kane is confused and follows her, so Punk can hit Bryan with the GTS and Sheamus immediately follows with the Brogue Kick to win. **3/4 In the back, Swagger and Ziggler are arguing. Vickie comes over and says only one of them deserves her admiration and respect and affection, so they're going to settle it in the ring. Match #2: Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger Vickie is at ringside to watch. Ziggler carries this bag of loose assholes for 4 minutes. Swagger went for the leg and ankle and Ziggler played face. Good selling and he hits the Peace Zig for the win. ** Vickie celebrates with Ziggler. RAW MOMENT: Vince in the hospital Paul Heyman comes out, and he gets on the mic. He says he is the representative for BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESNAAAAAAAAR. He says Brock Lesnar will NOT drop his lawsuit, he will not drop his lawsuit against Triple H, and most importantly, NO, Brock Lesnar will NOT fight Triple H at SummerSlam. Triple H then comes out to the ring, and he also gets on the mic. Triple H says he's looking around this isn't a bingo hall and this isn't the 90s, so nobody buys into him anymore, because they all know what he knows and that's that Paul is a liar. Fuuuuuuuuuuck you. He says Brock Lesnar is going to fight him at SummerSlam and asks when Brock's going to step up to be a man. He says Brock wants to be the star, and says he can do that, and shows a SummerSlam poster with Brock Lesnar on the cover and says this can go all over the world if he steps up and agrees to fight. Triple H talks about Brock being scared, and Paul says he's good. He almost had him going. He tells him to stop though, seriously. Stop pretending to be an asskicker with his inflated legend and go back to the office with his yes men. <3 Paul. He says he's getting even more like Vince every day and just like he knew how to push Vince's buttons, he knows how to push his. Paul dares him to hit him now, and says he understands that all Triple H knows is violence, and says to hit him, but if he does, then he and Brock Lesnar will own this joint, and they've got nothing for him. Paul says they have something for Stephanie though, so Triple H chokes him with his collar. Paul says to do it or let go, and Triple H lets go finally. Paul says he knows him and he's smarter than him, and sees everything coming, so Triple H punches him. He asks if he saw that coming, and tells him to tell Brock that he'll see him at SummerSlam. This is such an upsettingly bad build. God damnit. Match #3: Alberto Del Rio vs. Santino Marella Another 90 second squash for ADR. Fuck this guy. Cross Armbreaker ends it. *1/4 In the ring, Layla brings out Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter and they talk about WrestleMania I, AND HEATH SLATER COMES OUT TO SAVE THIS! YEAH! He says this is a train wreck, and Cyndi asks who he is. He says he's the one man band, BABY. He says this is his moment and tells these three broads to bop to the side so he can perform his first single. It is amazing/awful and Roddy Piper comes out. SLAM HER AGAIN, RODDY. He kisses them all on the hand, but tells Ms. Slater to hit it, because when girls wanna have fun, they call the Hot Rod. Piper presents a gold record to Cyndi breaks it on Slater's head. Match #4: The Colons vs. The Prime Time Players Rosa and AW are at ringside. This is a solid match, and Primo is better as a face than a heel. They do stuff for 3 minutes, before PTP roll out and AW gets them to walk out on the match, so The Colons win by count out. *3/4 Chris Jericho returns next week, unfortunately. Before the main event, John Laurinaitis says the fans are all losers and didn't deserve PEOPLE POWER, and the next time they see him is gonna be when he goes into the WWE Hall of Fame. Otunga comes out, and then The Big Show comes out. He says he appreciates the new contract, but with that taken care of, he sees no reason to have this match, and he walks out, so this is now even worse. Match #5: John Cena vs. David Otunga/John Laurinaitis This is horrible, and it's a squash, and it's like 5-6 minutes long. Otunga ends up walking out and abandoning Big Johnny, and Cena takes another few minutes to humiliate Johnny before he wins with the FU. 3/4* |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2013, 07:06 PM Post #87 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT June 20th, 2012 Full Sail University Orlando, FL FUCK YEAH NEW NXT. JR comes out with his epic new goatee to welcome everyone to the new NXT and he introduces the General Manager of NXT, DUSTY RHODES! Dusty says there's electricity running through the building, and he's ready for anything. He books Tyson Kidd vs. McGillicutty tonight in the main event, and yells "WOW MAN THIS GON' BE NUTS WHEN WE GET THROUGH HERE!" JR then throws it to a video. BO DALLAS HYPE VIDEO. FUCK. His eyes look like he has no idea what's going on at any point and he has guns aimed at him off screen and ready to fire unless he reads the script, and he looks like they found some three-quarters retarded kid and threw him in front of the camera because he's got some of IRS' DNA in him. He throws tons of babyface cliches and says he's got A SMILE THAT SHINES FOR MILES, A CHIN THAT WON'T GIVE IN, AND A FIST THAT BREAKS BRICKS. "IF ANYONE WANTS TO STOP ME, STEP AROUND TO GET AROUND, BECAUSE I'M READY TO GO." OH MY GOD, IT TOOK 90 SECONDS FOR HIM TO BECOME THE GUY I HATE MOST IN THIS REVIEW. Match #1: Bo Dallas vs. Rick Victor JR AND REGAL! YEAH! This is 2 minutes, and Victor tries to carry this piece of shit before putting him over. Awful, truly awful. Victor has some great chops and European Uppercuts, which is all his offense, but it's better than all of Bo's shitty punches and elbows, and his horrible Belly to Belly. Bo wins with possibly the worst Spear of all time, not even leaving his feet and barely running with it. 1/2* On the stage, Briley Pierce interviews Bo, and he talks incoherently about a game plan and says his smile isn't going anywhere. He says to keep watching, because you will know Bo. UGH. SETH ROLLINS. NEXT WEEK. BOOOOOOOOOOOO ANTONIO CESARO. NEXT WEEK. MUCH BETTER. Damien Sandow is supposed to squash some half-breed, but refuses with his usual shtick. A video airs for The Ascension, which is Ratface from NXT Season 4 and some British guy working a vampire/darkness gimmick and they are laughably bad. RAW REBOUND! Match #2: The Ascension vs. Mike Dalton/CJ Parker It's Conor O'Brien and Kenneth Cameron apparently. Don't care. Their attempts at intensity and anger were pretty fucking hilarious. They win in a minute with a Jawbreaker by one into a Flapjack by the other. 1/4* A Bray Wyatt video airs. The creepy music and quick cuts of weird shit are the same as the ones on Raw and SD in recent weeks. He says good things come to those who BELIEVE in bray Wyatt. Parents need to stop lying to their children and telling them the monsters are not real. Your children should be worried and looking under their beds at night, because monsters...MONSTERS ARE REAL. THE BOOGEYMAN IS REAL. He is real. Good things come to those who believe in Bray Wyatt. In the back, Derrick Bateman is looking for Johnny Curtis, and finds him in the men's bathroom. Curtis walks out of the stall, where he was apparently just fucking standing and he throws a wad of paper on the floor. Bateman says they should talk outside, and Curtis says this is his office. They go outside and Curtis says he was in there because he was sick, like weird sick. He was also sad that they're both still here and that they have a match next week. Derrick asks why that makes him sad, and maybe he should be scared that he finally gets his hands on him one on one. Curtis blows him off and says to stay out of his office. Bateman says it's a public forum, and he didn't even wash his hands. Curtis then wipes his hands off with Bateman's shirt, and says they're already clean. Curtis leaves and Bateman can't stop laughing. Match #3: Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGilicutty This is great. This was the first match where I thought McGillicutty was improving last year. Kidd guides Joe through matwork and then Joe has some good offense when he controls the match. This is probably their tightest match of their series on NXT in 2012 since they get 10-15 minutes to play around with here. They have some actual really great nearfalls for once, and Kidd uses the Dungeon Lock to get the submission. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2013, 10:28 PM Post #88 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown June 22nd, 2012 Baltimore, MD featured an opening segment in which Teddy Long was introduced, with Long coming out to the entrance stage, noting John Laurinaitis was fired and Mick Foley was the GM for the night; moments later, the Big Show interrupted, walked out to the ring, and took the mic, saying he didn't care that Laurinaitis had been fired because the only person he cared about was himself; Show went on to say he would have crushed John Cena in a fair fight and threw his name into the mix for Money in the Bank, adding he would regain the WWE World Title; moments later, Brodus Clay came out with Cameron and Naomi, slid into the right, was initially taken down by Show but then gained the advantage; moments later, David Otunga slid into the ring and clipped Clay's injured knee; Show followed by kicking Clay's knees, then knocked Clay out with a punch as the crowd chanted "You can't wrestle" at Show; after Show left ringside, Otunga took the mic and mocked Clay, saying he would call Clay's momma himself before then doing his own dance to Clay's theme music TONIGHT: SHEAMUS/ZIGGLER IV Match #1: Ryback vs. Jobbers More death. Double Shellshock ends it. *1/2 In the back, Vickie tells Foley that she's in charge next week, and he introduces his assistant this week, The Great Khali. They dance and Mick makes Khali shout to the tune of his theme song. Fantastic. Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian Christian carries ADR again. Except what the fuck, ADR randomly breaks out actual really good arm work? Maybe he's decided to only try when he knows it's going to be sold? Either way, this further cements him as infuriatingly lazy, because he can try hard and do this well in an 8 minute match on a show nobody watches, but shits his pants on PPV every month. Christian sells his arm amazingly and they have some wonderful counters. ADR knocks Christian off the top with the Quicksilver Kick, and then puts on a shitty looking Cross Armbreaker to win. *** Cody Rhodes comes out post-match, and he throws Christian into the post. He says to get out of his way, because he is Smackdown. A video airs of all the WWE Title and AJ stuff. AJ comes out to be the guest timekeeper. Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane Fun 5 minutes. Danielson pretty much does his match against a bigger guy, and he gets the Yes Lock, but AJ rings the bell to save Kane. Danielson thinks he's won, but Kane then hits the Chokeslam for the win. **1/4 Mick Foley comes out, and starts to address the crowd, but Heath Slater comes out. He demands that Mick Foley make it right for what he allowed to happen on Raw when Cyndi Lauper attacked him. Foley says he's not going to do that, but he can give him a match, and he brings out Zack Ryder. Match #4: Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater This is only a minute, so hey, whatever. Ryder wins with the Rough Ryder. 3/4* In the back, Sandow calls Ryder and Foley abhorrent and Ryder tells him to respect the legend. Sandow says his drivel has led the WWE Universe into the doldrums of ignorance, but no more. You're welcome. Match #5: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players w/ AW Another good 3 minute match in this series. Clash of the Titus gets PTP the win again. *3/4 In the back after the break, The Colons and the Prime Time Players are being held apart by referees. included an in-ring segment in which WWE US Champion Santino Marella recognized some of the signs in attendance, then brought a Santino fan into the ring; moments later, the "fan" kissed Santino on the lips, causing him to fall backwards onto the ma Match #6: Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero They get 10 or so minutes, and this is really good again. They still don't have any kind of natural chemistry and seem destined to always work in that **3/4 range, but whatever. Ziggler gets the most offense yet and looks fantastic here. Sheamus doesn't get a huge comeback, and Ziggler's graduated to now losing to a flash Brogue Kick instead of the awful set up version, which is nice. **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 3 2013, 06:16 PM Post #89 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw June 25th, 2012 Ft. Wayne, IN In the back, AJ is talking to someone and and says she asked them all here because she has something to say. She says she likes all three of them before saying they all need to go their separate ways, and it's for the best. The camera then zooms out and she's just talking to the mirror and laughs. TONIGHT: CENA'S ANNOUNCEMENT, SHOW VS. BRODUS Vickie comes onto the stage and talks about being GM this week. Match #1: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane [Elimination Match] Oh hey, this is really good again. Not great since it's only six or seven minutes, but everyone here works well together yet again. AJ comes out when Kane is setting someone up for a Chokeslam, and she distracts Kane by skipping around the ring and then back up the ramp. Punk gets him up for the GTS and eliminates Kane, but Bryan immediately follows up with a Buzzsaw Kick to Punk for the win. **3/4 In the back, ADR sucks up to Vickie to try and get the title shot. Dolph Ziggler comes in and says he WAS the #1 Contender and now it's his and he can get in line. Vickie books a match between them with a contract on a pole and the winner gets the shot on Smackdown. Match #2: The Big Show vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls Show pretty much slaughters Brodus' knee for two minutes, and then Brodus collapses when he tries a slam and Show falls on top to win. * JOHN CENA VISITS KIDS WITH CANCER. HE'S THE BEST, BRO. RAW MEMORY: Bob Barker Clips air from during the break, where Show knocked out Brodus for good measure. Clips air of the latest H/Bork/Heyman angles. NEXT WEEK: BORK ANSWERS H'S CHALLENGE In the back, something finally happens! AJ finds Kane and she says they need to talk and she's happy that he's here. He says he's not exactly one with his feelings, but she makes him feel things that he never thought possible. It's not a good thing. She says that's great, and Kane says he's not exactly boyfriend material. Kane says he doesn't do relationships, and he has another issue. He's a monster, he wears a mask, his only source of pleasure of eviscerating people, and even he finds her mentally unstable, so they need to stay away from each other. THE BEST. She starts sobbing but then it turns into laughing because crazy and because WWE lacks any sort of subtlety. Match #3: Santino Marella [c] vs. Jack Swagger [WWE U.S. Championship] This is a two and a half minute Santino showcase, so LOLJACK. At least Santino's defending the title again for the first time since April. Cobra ends it. *1/2 John Cena comes out, and he gets on the mic. He cuts the Star Wars promo, which is one of the all time worst Cena promos ever. He tries to be funny and fails more than ever before as he adapts people's names and botches them and it's just the fucking worst. Nobody laughs but Cole and Lawler. Chris Jericho comes out and they punish us even more with awful Fozzy clips. OH MY GOD, FUCK IT. THEY'RE BOTH IN MITB ALONG WITH BIG SHOW. CENA CLAIMS HE'S ONLY IN MITB TO STOP BIG SHOW, BECAUSE I GUESS HE DOESN'T WANT THE WWE TITLE ANYMORE. VICKIE SAYS KANE'S ALSO IN AND BOOKS CENA/JERICHO. Heath Slater comes out, and he gets on the mic. He says he doesn't care what Vader or Roddy Piper or Cyndi Lauper thinks, because he's one of the top superstars on Raw. He's Heath Slater, AND HE RULES THE WORLD. HE RULES THE WOOOOOOOOORLD. OH SHIT. ![]() FUCK. YEAH. SID. Match #4: Sycho Sid vs. Heath Slater ![]() ![]() ![]() FIVE TRILLION STARS Match #5: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio [#1 Contender's Match - Contract on a Pole] Like the 1998-9 flashback in the Raw 1000 build. This is pretty good for 3 minutes though, since these guys clearly work well together, etc. The contract falls down and both men get it, so the referee calls it off. *3/4 Sheamus comes out and calls them both women for fighting over a shot at him, but like, that's the fucking job. Sheamus says it's going to be a three way on Smackdown and says it's not about showing off or destiny, but about him kicking both their arses. Man, he's the second worst. Bo Dallas is a solid #1 though. In the back, AJ finds CM Punk and says as an apology for earlier, she's going to dedicate her battle royal win in the next match to him. Punk says that's fine, but after that, they need to sit down and have a serious talk about what's going on, and she ignores him and skips off. RAW MEMORY: "THIS IS YOUR LIFE" Match #6: Divas Bikini Jerk Off Battle Royal Vickie puts herself in this, and it is what it is. AJ eliminates Vickie to win. Sup AJ. Boner/Pants AJ starts "YES"ing after the match. Match #7: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho This happens. It's not 2005, it's not 2008, and it's not 2009, and that means this is not a good match. Cena no longer really tries hard on TV and Jericho isn't much good anymore. They do things for four minutes and then The Big Show comes out to attack Cena for the DQ. *1/2 Jericho leaves and Show does more things. Awful awful show. Lord beer me strength. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 3 2013, 09:08 PM Post #90 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT June 27th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Seth Rollins vs. Jiro TYLER DOES HIS SLAM DANCING AGAIN. HILARIOUSLY AWFUL! Solid 90 second debut squash, Tyler does all his stuff well. He wins with that stupid fucking Blackout jumping stomp deal that he beat Dragonson with a few weeks back on Raw. *1/2 On the stage, Briley interviews Seth, and he says he came here to rip the roots out of the ground and the crowds from the sky and shake this place upside down. He says he's going to change the world one heart at a time, and Jinder Mahal comes out for his match. OH GREAT, THEY STARE EACH OTHER DOWN. Match #2: Jinder Mahal vs. Jason Jordan Another terrible Jinder squash, just like we saw on real TV in 2011 all the time. He wins with the Camel Clutch. 1/4* A hype video airs for Leo Kruger. Match #3: Leo Kruger vs. Aiden English Quick squash. Kruger is a generic power dude, so hey, whatever. He wins with a nice looking Rear Naked Choke. 3/4* A hype video airs for Richie Steamboat. Match #4: The Usos vs. The Ascension Regal is finally back on commentary. The Usos carry these useless sacks of shit for 3 minutes, before one of them loses to that awful Downcast move. UGH. What a horrible team and gimmick. *1/2 Match #5: Richie Steamboat vs. Rick Victor This is the best of all the debut showcases. Richie is super advanced compared to the other legacy type guys, and feels like what Bo Dallas SHOULD be. Great natural babyface, awesome chops, and some quality arm work. He has a great Crossbody off the ropes that gets put in the place of the Babyface Flying Forearm, and then wins with a Sling Blade. ** RAW REBOUND! Match #6: Antonio Cesaro w/ Aksana vs. Dante Dash Hey, Cesaro's still alive! He is a fantastic squasher, mixing it up with tight and painful holds, hard strikes, and awesome power offense. Claudio wins with the Neutralizer in some 90 seconds. *1/2 ANOTHER BRAY WYATT VIGNETTE! YEAH! He says they don't love you like he does, man. They don't know you. They can't protect you like he can. How is he gonna do that? With love, man. REAL LOVE. A love you can feel in your core, a love you can reach out and touch. You can feel it in your eyes and in your brain, love that runs like static electricity that floats through your fingertips. REAL LOVE. Match #7: Derrick Bateman vs. Johnny Curtis This is only about five minutes, but they do a lot with it. Curtis works on the knee, and Bateman sells it very well. They spend like 3-4 minutes on the knee and only like 30 seconds on the finish though, so that's upsetting. Still, Bateman does his selling, and then he wins with the Headlock Driver. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 8 2013, 06:32 PM Post #91 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown June 29th, 2012 Evansville, IN TONIGHT: SHEAMUS/ADR/ZIGGLER FOR THE WORLD TITLE! Match #1: Layla vs. AJ Good 3 minutes before booking happens. They do some fun lucha type stuff and highspots, at least by Diva standards. Daniel Bryan then comes out and "YES"'s around the ring to distract AJ. It works, as Layla gets a fancy roll up for the win. *1/2 AJ goes insane again and attacks Layla. Daniel gets the mic and climbs on the apron and says it's not so fun to get distracted in the middle of a match, and now she gets it. He says he doesn't crave attention like her, but he has an important matter to discuss. He tells her to stay for this and says he's not leaving the ring until Vickie Guerrero gives him what he deserves. AJ then starts "YES"ing as we go to commercial. RAW MEMORIES: TYSON AND AUSTIN TYSON AND AUSTIN TYSON AND AUSTIN. Oh nope, it's him joining DX instead. Coming back, Bryan and AJ are having a YES-off. Vickie comes out finally and says to stop. Daniel says he wanted her out here because he knows that she went to the Board after Monday and booked him in a WWE Title match at Money in the Bank due to his win on Raw, and thanks her. He asks that she bans AJ from ringside at the PPV because she is a liability and a nuisance and Vickie agrees. She says the Board put up a poll on WWE.com asking people about AJ's involvement at MITB, and because the Universe is horrible, 76% of people want her to be the ref, so because Vickie is sucking up to the Board to try and be GM, she makes AJ the referee. AJ leaves and Daniel now starts yelling "NO!" Match #1: Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder [Smackdown MITB Qualifying Match] Very good three minutes. Ryder tries hard and both men have good pieces of offense. Sandow avoids the Rough Ryder and wins with the Straightjacket Neckbreaker. ** They announce that Charle Sheen is going to be the Social Media Ambassador for Raw #1000. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE. SUMMERSLAM: AUGUST 19TH! Match #2: Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd [Smackdown MITB Qualifying Match] Good 4 minute Kidd carryjob. Lots of big bumps and cool evasions. Swagger was basically useless again, so this wasn't great. Booker randomly starts talking about how he doesn't like Damien Sandow during this. AND THEN WHAT THE FUCK, KIDD WINS WITH A BLOCKBUSTER. WHOA. FUCK YEAH! *3/4 RAW MOMENT: Vince in the hospital They announce that next Tuesday will see another live SD, and it's the return of the Great American Bash! YEAH! Match #3: Christian/Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes/David Otunga [Smackdown MITB Qualifying Match] This happens. Santino and Otunga are basically useless, and Christian isn't this enough to do enough to save this. Christian beats Otunga with the Spear. *1/2 In the back, Sheamus says words. SHUT THE FUCK UP. RAW MEMORY: "Rock, This Is Your Life" Match #4: Ryback vs. Brendan Burke/Dan Barone DEATH. One of his best ones recently. Double Shellshock ends it. ** In the back, Teddy finds Cesaro and Aksana and says he's running the shows next week, and books them vs. Khali and Layla at GAB. RAW REBOUND! Match #5: Justin Gabriel vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto [Smackdown MITB Qualifying Match] Good 3 minutes again. Tensai wins with the Back Senton. ** RAW MEMORY: Triple H returns in 2002. SHOW SOME NEW ONES, HOLY FUCK. THERE WERE MORE THAN 5 RAW MOMENTS. SOME OF THEM AREN'T FROM THE YEARS 1998-2002. Match #6: Sheamus [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] This happened. Sheamus pretty much dominates unless they can double team him, because he's still getting this super push so people will respond to him in some fashion. Ziggler tries, but he doesn't get enough time or space to really do this thing. This is mostly about ADR/Sheamus, and that is mind numbingly average. ADR works the arm and Sheamus no-sells it. Ziggler has a roll up on ADR and Sheamus Brogue Kicks him off to pin Ziggler for the fifth time in a month. Good lord. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 8 2013, 06:44 PM Post #92 |
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TOP 25 MATCHES OF THE HALF-YEAR: 1. John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 2. The Undertaker vs. Triple H, WrestleMania 28 (April 1st) 3. CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan, Over The Limit (May 20th) 4. CM Punk [c] vs. Mark Henry, Raw (April 2nd) 5. Sheamus [c] vs. Daniel Bryan, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 6. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan, Raw (January 30th) 7. CM Punk [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler, Charlotte (March 25th) 8. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (May 4th) 9. CM Punk [c] vs. Chris Jericho, Extreme Rules (April 29th) 10. Daniel Bryan [c] vs. The Big Show vs. Mark Henry, Royal Rumble (January 29th) 11. CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (February 21st) 12. CM Punk [c] vs. Mark Henry, Raw (April 16th) 13. CM Punk [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler, Royal Rumble (January 29th) 14. CM Punk [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (January 2nd) 15. Daniel Bryan [c] vs. The Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett vs. The Great Khali, Elimination Chamber (February 19th) 16. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton, Smackdown (February 10th) 17. Dolph Ziggler vs. Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Great Khali, Raw (June 11th) 18. John Cena vs. The Rock, WrestleMania 28 (April 1st) 19. CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Kane, No Way Out (June 17th) 20. John Cena/CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger, Raw (January 23rd) 21. Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (January 30th) 22. Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian, Smackdown (June 22nd) 23. Christian [c] vs. Cody Rhodes, No Way Out (June 17th) 24. Hunico vs. Justin Gabriel, Superstars (June 14th) 25. CM Punk [c] vs. Kane, Smackdown (June 1st) WRESTLER OF THE HALF YEAR: Daniel Bryan - 84 Points TAG TEAM OF THE HALF-YEAR: The Usos - 30 Points |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 9 2013, 08:27 PM Post #93 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw July 2nd, 2012 Laredo, TX featured an opening in-ring promo by John Cena in which he noted his attack the previous week at the hands of Chris Jericho and the Big Show and discussed his upcoming Money in the Bank match; moments later, Daniel Bryan interrupted, said Cena wasn't relevant to him, and he would soon beat WWE World Champion CM Punk to win the title; Punk soon joined Cena and Bryan in the ring, getting all the fans to chant "Yes" in that they disagreed with Bryan, then reminding Bryan that AJ was the guest referee for their upcoming title match; Chris Jericho then interrupted, noted Bryan's one catch phrase, and then went on a tirade mentioning the several that he had; Kane soon interrupted, with Show soon following; before Show could make it to the ring, a fight broke out in the ring; moments later, Show knocked down Kane to be the last man standing, and then left the ring Match #1: Christian/Santino Marella/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Cody Rhodes/David Otunga/The Prime Time Players w/ AW This is like 3-4 minutes because of a commercial butchering it, but whatever, this wasn't going to be good anyways. Christian's in for like 30 seconds, and this is mostly Kofi vs. Otunga and PTP, and that's terrible. Not so much because of the PTP or even Otunga, but Kofi's just the worst guy. PTP and Cody both wind up walking out on this and Santino beats Otunga with the Cobra after Brodus returns to stop Otunga from bailing too. *1/4 In the back, ADR sucks up to Teddy Long and he says he earned a World Title match in April and he just wants his one on one shot. Teddy says the Board has booked Sheamus/ADR for MITB. The Board is the worst it's ever been. Teddy says tonight he's going to be in a match next against a mystery opponent. RAW MOMENT: VINCE'S TRAINING FOR THE 1999 RUMBLE! A NEW ONE! YAY! ADR comes out for the match. It's just Sin Cara, so ADR beats him up without a match, thankfully. He puts on the Cross Armbreaker for a while and leaves. In the back, AJ is getting ready and now has X's on her hands too. Daniel Bryan walks up behind her and grabs a rose from the flower display. He gives it to her and apologizes for the way he's treated her, and says he was mad at himself, not her. She says that's sweet, and clearly has nothing to do with her being named the special referee. She says she can't wait to win her match next and run into the arms of her true soulmate. She then bites the rose off the stem and spits out before walking off. They announce a big battle royal for Smackdown tomorrow, and the winner is guest GM on SD next week. A recap airs of all the shitty Triple H/Heyman/Bork stuff. Live via satellite, Paul Heyman is standing by. He announces that his client has made a decision, and he will deliver it to Triple H's face in three weeks at Raw 1000. He says Triple H now needs money for another lawsuit and says Triple H is desperate to face Brock Lesnar so he can have an exit strategy, because if Brock accepts this, he will end Triple H's career. Then he will finally be able to be corporate with everyone telling him he went down in a blaze of glory. But he did that at WrestleMania, so uh... Anyways, Paul says if Brock accepts, it will be a mercy killing. TONIGHT: SHOW VS. KANE IN A NO DQ MATCH Match #2: Sheamus/AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler/Vickie Guerrero This is only like 3 minutes and more about AJ than anyone else. She wins with the knee on Vickie. *1/4 In the back, AJ finds CM Punk, and he is on the phone. She asks if he watched her match so he hangs up the phone and says that was his sister. She is mad that he didn't watch the match, and leaves, and Punk is confused. BUT NEVERMIND THAT SHIT, HEATH SLATER'S IN THE RING BABY! He says he is no clown, AND DOINK COMES OUT. Match #3: Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown This is like a minute, AND SLATER WINS WITH A NECKBREAKER! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT * AND DDP COMES OUT! ![]() JOHN CENA LOVES THE TROOPS. HE IS AMERICA. DO YOU HATE AMERICA? CHEER HIM. Match #4: The Big Show vs. Kane [No DQ] This was also thankfully three minutes. Show hits Kane with a chair and then hits a Chokeslam on the the chair to win. *1/2 In the back, Eve finds AJ and tells her to let the grown ups play mind games and go what little girls do, and that's cry. AJ gets up in her face and says Eve wants attention more than anything, but this is how you get it. RAW MEMORY: DX invades WCW Match #5: Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto Tensai dominates, BUT OH SHIT, WHAT, KIDD WINS WITH A ROLL UP IN UNDER A MINUTE. YEAH! 3/4* After the break, Tensai finds Kidd in the back and murders him. Match #6: John Cena/CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan/Chris Jericho They get like 10 minutes or so before booking happens, so this is solid. Punk and Bryan are awesome again, especially against each other. Cena tries against Bryan, but this had too much Jericho to be great. Lots of embarrassing botching between Cena and Jericho, and then they ended up brawling to the back. AJ skips around during a Punk/Bryan double down, and the match now stops being a match. **3/4 AJ sets up a table on the floor and climbs up to the top rope. Both Punk and Bryan try to stop her, but Punk kicks Bryan onto the table. He gets on the apron to stop AJ, but she kisses Punk to distract him, and shoves him off the apron and through the table and Bryan to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 9 2013, 09:43 PM Post #94 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown - THE GREAT AMERICAN BASH July 3rd, 2012 Corpus Christi, TX featured an opening backstage segment with Alicia Fox, Jimmy & Jey Uso, Primo Colon, Epico, Johnny Curtis, Yoshi Tatsu, Natalya Neidhart, Hunico, Camacho, Kaitlyn, Rosa Mendes, Tamina, and Hornswoggle, with Teddy Long walking in and welcoming everyone to the live special; Long then brought in Eve, who would pick up everyone else's mess; Long then spoke with WWE US Champion Santino Marella, who went to start the grill; Kane then appeared and started it himself without even touching it ADR comes out to the ring and he gets on the mic. He says he is not here to celebrate America, but there's something more important, and that's he and his one on one title shot against Sheamus. He says he's going to send him back to Ireland in tears and says that's why people like Sheamus so much, because he's an illegal immigrant and a peasant just like everyone here. He says he's here legally and making a lot of money here, and they make him sick. He then goes to ringside and demands fans show him their papers. Fantastic, and probably the one memorable ADR moment ever. He demands that security arrests a man without papers, and the fan says this is Texas, not Arizona. Sheamus comes out and they fight. Ricardo gets involved near the stage, and ADR ends ups slamming the hood of his car on Sheamus' back repeatedly. Match #1: The Great Khali/Layla vs. Antonio Cesaro/Aksana Claudio tries, but this is a squash for two minutes. Layla beats Aksana with the Neckbreaker. 1/2* In the back, Cody goes up to Teddy and wants another shot to get in MITB, since he never lost the qualifying tag match. Teddy says okay, and says if he can beat Christian next, which he's yet to do, he can get in the match. RAW MEMORY: Mankind wins the WWF Title! Glad they're changing it up more now. Match #2: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes [If Cody Wins, He's In MITB] This is only 5 or 6 minutes because it again was butchered by a commercial because this is the most frustrating year in a long time in the WWE. Cody worked on the arm, and Christian's arm selling was as magnificent as it usually was. Cody could have been better on it, but whatever. Christian can't turn him quickly for the Unprettier, and it allows Cody to win with the Cross Rhodes. **3/4 included a backstage segment from the Bash party, with Zack Ryder talking with Long about being the DJ for the party, with Heath Slater saying he should do it; Ryder then began playing Brodus Clay's music, with Clay, Cameron, & Naomi coming out and leading everyone else into doing their dance Match #3: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Alex Riley [MITB Qualifying Match] Solid two and a half minute Ziggler showcase. He gives Riley some decent nearfalls and bumps around for him, but then wins with the Peace Zig. ** RAW REBOUND! Michael Cole gets in the ring, and he brings out AJ for an interview to talk about her recent angles. AJ says a lot of people have asked her questions in the last day, and Cole says she wasn't thinking and she switches allegiances on a dime and the Board has made a huge mistake naming her the referee. He says she's a troubled little girl and she holds the fate of the most prestigious title in wrestling history in her hands while she's living out this tug of war fantasy. Cole then hits on AJ, and Daniel Bryan comes out. Bryan says Cole is a sexist emotionally abusive bully, just like the rest of the media where they make things up. He says he knows AJ will do an excellent job and didn't mean for both of them to go through the table, she only wanted CM Punk to go through that table. He says he forgives her, and CM Punk comes out. Punk tells Cole to get out because this isn't about him, so he leaves. Punk says two people were affected by her actions, and yesterday he fell through a table, so he's a little sore but he expects it because of the job he has. He says he won't ignore it like Bryan though and says he's concerned about AJ and says she's not in a good place mentally, and maybe he should have said something sooner, and he's sorry, but she needs help. He says he won't string her along like Bryan either, and Bryan says that's garbage and says he's lying and says he's the only one that cares about AJ. HEY WHAT ABOUT THE TITLE? Bryan says Punk needs AJ to beat him, so he's sucking up. AJ stops them, and makes out with Daniel. Punk goes to leave, but she stops him on the floor and also makes out with Punk, and leaves. Both men are confused and probably a little aroused, because everybody's secretly gay. Match #4: Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Drew McIntyre/Hunico/Camacho Cole asks what's wrong with the WWE that they have to keep bringing back these old guys instead of highlighting the top young talents. Not a bad question to ask. This is a fine nostalgia thing, and Drew and Hunico look awesome making the old dudes look competent still. Hunico gets beat with the Three Point Stance Clothesline and then The Cobra. *1/2 included a backstage segment from the party, with Long and WWE Tag Team Champion R-Truth, with Damien Sandow eventually interrupting and saying the party was not what the founding fathers had in mind; he and Ryder then argued, with Ryder winning a fight and then accidentally dumping punch over Eve, ruining her white dress Match #5: Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins w/ Tyler Reks Rybork kills him in a minute with Shellshock. Solid squash. *1/2 RAW MEMORY: Donald Trump drops money on the fans. Really? This made the cut? Match #6: The Great American Bash Battle Royal People involved are Alberto Del Rio, Jack Swagger, John Cena, Tensai, Damien Sandow, Dolph Ziggler, CM Punk, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Heath Slater, Christian, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella, Great Khali, Ezekiel Jackson, Brodus Clay, Justin Gabriel, and Jinder Mahal. This is pretty solid due to all the good and different people in it. Punk and Bryan both go out with a Cactus Crossbody. Show tosses out Cena and Christian and it gets down to Show, Kane, Ryder, and Ziggler. Ziggler foolishly tries a sleeper on Show, but Kane pushes them both out. Ryder survives, AND LOWBRIDGES KANE OUT TO WIN. WAT. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 9 2013, 11:22 PM Post #95 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT July 4th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Paige vs. Sofia Cortez Sup Paige? This is weirdly a showcase for Sofia, who is not very good at all, so this isn't a good match. She wins with a shitty Wheelbarrow DDT. 1/4* Match #2: Seth Rollins vs. Camacho w/ Hunico Alright 4-5 minutes. Camacho is still really inexperienced, but he did the basic power offense well. Rollins came back with stuff that wasn't too horrible. Camacho accidentally hits Hunico on the apron, and Rollins beats the big mang with the Blackout/BLK-OUT. *1/2 Hunico attacks him from behind, and Camacho joins in. Fucking Bo Dallas comes out to save, and they bail for some reason. If they can take Seth Rollins, they could take this asshole. Match #3: Corey Graves/Jake Carter vs. CJ Parker/Nick Rogers Corey Graves was "Sterling" James Keenan on the indies and is AWFUL. He's now working a weird punk underwear model deal where he's trying to be hard with his leather jacket and cap and "STAY DOWN" on his knuckles, but comes off like the biggest phony in the entire world. And Carter is Vader's kid who is nothing like Vader. He's still better than Graves though, and had some decent bits of stuff. Total squash and they win with a Powerslam/Sliding Neckbreaker deal. 3/4* Match #4: Kassius Ohno vs. Mike Dalton Hero kills it in his debut squash for 90 seconds. He gives Dalton some good stuff, before he shuts him down with kicks, before uncorking the Rolling Elbow for the win. *1/2 Post-match, he gets on the mic. He says Kassius Ohno knocks people out, and when they hear Kassius coming, they all say, "OH NO!" BRAY WYATT VIGNETTE #3: He says he knows people are hurting, and he hurts too, but you don't have to hurt anymore. He asks what people think they'll do to someone they can't hurt or someone who cannot be afraid of them. He says he knows how cruel hell can be and he knows what it does to a man. It changes you. It makes you strong, man. He's stronger than he ever was, because it took away his ability to feel fear or feel pain. HE'S NOT AFRAID ANYMORE. He asks what you can do to something like him. What CAN you do? ... Run. BRAY WYATT: NEXT WEEK Match #5: Derrick Bateman vs. Jinder Mahal Derrick tries his best, and gets the best Jinder match I can remember seeing. Bateman's offense again continues to impress me, especially the reckless Tope Suicida. Then horribly, it turns into a Jinder showcase, and he fucking wins with his Camel Clutch. *3/4 JR announces that Dusty's booked a six man next of Kidd, Rollins, and Bo vs. McGillicutty, Hunico, & Camacho! YAY! Match #6: Tyson Kid/Seth Rollins/Bo Dallas vs. Michael McGillicutty/Hunico/Camacho This is only 5 minutes and Bo was the FIP, so this was not that good. However, Kidd's hot tag kicked serious ass. Super crisp and fiery. Rollins had a nice dive, and Hunico and McGillicutty were both fine bases in this. Kidd gets caught running off for a dive and chop blocked by Joe, and he wins with the McGillicutter. ** Edited by Big Tuna, Jul 9 2013, 11:22 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Jul 10 2013, 02:24 PM Post #96 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw July 9th, 2012 Denver, CO I don't wanna. featured an opening in-ring promo by AJ in which she spoke about being the guest referee for the WWE World Champion CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan match the coming Sunday at Money in the Bank; moments later, AJ asked for Punk to join her in the ring, with her saying she isn't mentally unstable as Punk said the previous week on Smackdown; she went on to talk about how Punk cared for her and said his eyes sent her love, he turned her on, and she knew now what she had to do; AJ then took a few steps back and got down on one knee before asking Punk to marry her; Bryan then ran out, chanting "No" as the crowd responded "Yes," and said Punk was only using AJ to ensure he keeps the title; when Punk interrupted, Bryan told Punk to go ahead and say "I do" to the proposal; Bryan then got down on one knee himself and proposed to AJ, with the two continuing to argue until Michael Cole received an email from the Raw GM which said Punk & AJ would face Bryan & Eve; Bryan immediately chanted "No!", with the crowd responding "Yes!"; AJ then told the two that they all had things to think about and that everything happens for a reason, adding she had a feeling she would leave the arena with her future husband; included a backstage segment with WWE US Champion Santino Marella congratulating Zack Ryder on winning the battle royal on Smackdown, with Marella saying the anonymous GM was in the building and he would find him; featured the announcement the Rock would be at the 1,000th episode of Raw; included a "Did you know?" graphic which read it would take 5 and a half years to watch every Raw, by watching 1 hour each day; featured a backstage segment in which Marella questioned Chris Jericho as to if he was the Raw GM; after Marella left, Jericho spoke with Big Show about their tag team match later in the night and their history as Jeri-Show, with Show telling Jericho to stay out of his way in the match; included a "Raw 1,000" segment in which Stephanie McMahon discussed the Feb. 11, 2002 episode in which Triple H broke up with her on TV; featured a "Did you know?" graphic which read Raw has aired more episodes than Seinfeld, Friends, Cheers, and Frasier combined; included a backstage segment with Punk and Eve discussing their match later in the show, with the two discussing AJ and Eve saying if Punk didn't say "I do" then AJ would cost Punk the belt; Eve then said Punk was overshadowed by the Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Show, and now even AJ; featured Marella finding Great Khali and questioning him as to if he was the Raw GM; included an ad promoting the 1,000th episode of Raw; featured the announcement WWE Tag Team Champions R-Truth & Kofi Kingston would face Hunico & Camacho on the YouTube pre-show before Money in the Bank; included the results of the WWE.com poll which read fans wanted to see Cole vs. Lawler, 75% to 25%; featured an ad promoting how fans can be part of Raw Active; included an ad promoting No Holds Barred on DVD: World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus pinned Jack Swagger in a non-title match with the boot to the face at the 58-second mark; after the bout, Alberto Del Rio cut a backstage promo via the big screen in which he told Sheamus that he would take the title on Sunday; moments later, Sheamus dropped Swagger with another boot to the face as Swagger made it back to his feet Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) & Tensai (w/ Sakamodo) defeated WWE IC Champion Christian & Tyson Kidd at 1:33 when Tensai pinned Christian with a splash in the corner and running senton after Ziggler grabbed Christian's leg from the floor; Vickie joined the commentary team for the bout; after the match, Tensai attacked Kidd on the floor and dropped him with a powerbomb onto the apron and a back splash; after the contest, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler argued at the commentary desk, with the Raw GM then sending an email that Cole refused to read; Lawler then read that the Raw GM ordered Cole to face Lawler later in the show; a second email read that it would be up to the fans as to if the match happened, with the crowd cheering in approval; Lawler then said fans could go to WWE.com to vote yes or no Brodus Clay (w/ Cameron & Naomi) pinned Drew McIntyre at the 36-second mark with a headbutt to the chest as McIntyre came off the top, followed by a splash; after the bout, Clay, Cameron, & Naomi danced in the ring with several fans John Cena & Kane defeated Chris Jericho & the Big Show via disqualification at 16:32 when Show pulled Cena to the floor after Cena dropped Jericho with the FU; following his entrance, Cena took the mic and discussed his upcoming Money in the Bank match, adding he promised to stop Show en route to winning the briefcase; the briefcase was hung above the ring for the match; after the contest, Show threw Cena into the barricade and dropped Kane with a clothesline on the floor; Show then dragged a ladder out from under the ring and assaulted both Jericho and Kane with it inside the ring before Cena used a ladder to knock Show to the floor Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sin Cara pinned Heath Slater with the La Mistico at 1:45; the match was wrestled under blue and orange lights; after the bout, Slater took the mic and said he was a future champion, then demanded any former champion come out and he would beat them; moments later, Bob Backlund came out and wrestled with Slater, eventually applying the Crossface Chickenwing before Slater tapped out Jerry Lawler pinned Booker T after an airplane spin at the 58-second mark; Booker T & Josh Matthews provided commentary for the match; after the bout, the Raw GM sent an email, which Matthews read, that said Cole was the winner as a result of interference from Booker; moments later, WWE US Champion Santino Marella came out with his detective hat and said the Raw GM must be under the ring; moments later, Hornswoggle was revealed as the Raw GM and bit Cole and Lawler before leaving the ring WWE World Champion CM Punk & AJ defeated Daniel Bryan & Eve at 3:19 when AJ pinned Eve with a roll up after Bryan went to the floor and refused to tag his partner; after the bout, Bryan took the mic and said he just proved to AJ that she means more to him than any match, then telling her they should leave together and go get married; Punk followed by saying he wouldn't use AJ to keep his title, then saying Bryan was just using her and he would not marry AJ; Punk then said he was sorry but he cared enough about her to tell her the truth, with AJ then slapping Punk in the face as Bryan laughed; AJ then slapped Bryan as well before laughing and chanting "Yes" along with the corwd before skipping her way up the aisle |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 10 2013, 08:52 PM Post #97 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT July 11th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Tyson Kidd vs. Camacho w/ Hunico This is the best Camacho match ever. Kidd's improved a TON over the last year. From 2009-11, he's a guy who works some nice highspots into a WWE style match but doesn't offer a ton outside of that, but he's really grown a lot. Now he actively gets great matches out of guys with a lot of potential like McGillicutty and Trent Baretta and Curtis, and you can add Camacho to it. Kidd gets over the idea of strength vs. technique and also makes Camacho look really good as a result. Hunico ends up being ejected midway through. It's not great, because Camacho is still clearly very new, but they do their best. McGillicutty runs out to distract Kidd, and Camacho hits a DDT to win. For the son of Meng, we're gonna need a better finisher. **1/2 TONIGHT: USOS VS. PTP AGAIN Last week's Bray Wyatt video airs. RAW MEMORY: Hugh Jackman Match #2: Bray Wyatt vs. Aiden English FINALLY. Bray debuts with a very good squash for 90 seconds. Remarkably violent stuff, but the real charm is how well he's already adapting the character to actual matches. Regal puts him over like nobody else on commentary too. He hits Aiden English with a Shellshock (Shelley, not Ryback), but kisses his forehead before throwing him, and that gets the win. *1/2 A horrible video airs of Seth Rollins describing his finish with lots of fancy language. It's a fucking stomp, talk about how it knocks people out, not how it destroys your memory and your life and hurts your soul. In the back, Richie Steamboat is interviewed, but Leo Kruger comes over. He says he's proven he's better than Richie and is the prince of NXT, and he shoves him. They have a terrible pull apart where both men just sort of grab each other on the floor and it looks like they're making out. Match #3: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players They have their match down by now. This isn't as good as their last one on Superstars, due to a kind of shitty hot tag from whichever Uso got the hot tag. But good back and forth early on, and the PTP's work on the knee was even better than ever. But yeah, like I said, kind of shitty hot tag before PTP wins with the Decapitation. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 11 2013, 01:29 AM Post #98 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown July 13th, 2012 Colorado Springs, CO Guest GM Zack Ryder comes out to open the show. He welcomes everyone to Zackdown and leads everyone in a WOO WOO WOO fistpump. Alberto Del Rio comes out to say more words poorly and says Zack is an even bigger joke than Teddy Long, but he will rule Smackdown after MITB. Zack says this is Zackdown and books him in a match right now against Sin Cara. Match #1: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara This god 6 minutes and sort of happened. Nothing great, since neither man is great, but they had some good moments here and there. Gets butchered by a commercial, and ADR is not great at trying to work lucha style to help Sin Cara, so that's a little clunky. ADR's not really trying at all though, because he's the laziest guy they regularly push. ADR sort of works the arm, but Sin Cara does not sell. ADR wins with the Cross Armbreaker anyways. *3/4 TOUT. LOL. In the back, Teddy tells Zack that he's doing a great job. The Big Show then comes over after Teddy leaves and says Zack is doing a horrible job, and he got lucky last week. He says he wants his job now and cocks his fist, but Khali steps in. Zack then books Show/Khali. He is a terrible GM so far. Match #2: Primo vs. Darren Young Epico, Rosa, Titus, and AW are all ringside. This is a really solid four minutes. Primo is awesome as a babyface again, and D-Young works and hits hard. Primo wins with a cradle. ** RAW MEMORY: Edge retires In the back, Zack finds Sheamus and Jericho arguing and books them in a match. YOU'RE THE WORST, ZACK. Match #3: Christian/Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler/Cody Rhodes w/ Vickie Guerrero Solid 6 minutes here, and they aired it all. Christian works most of this, so it rules. Christian/Ziggler is again a really really great match. Santino gets the hot tag and while Christian and Cody fight on the floor, Ziggler wins with the Peace Zig. **1/2 All the Punk/Bryan/AJ stuff from Raw airs again. Match #4: The Big Show vs. The Great Khali Show wins with the JO Punch in like 45 seconds. 1/2* Match #5: Ryback vs. Tyler Reks w/ Curt Hawkins Another good Rybork squash. Reks gets actual offense, but Big Hungry pretty much slaughters him. Shellshock ends it. *1/2 RAW MEMORY: Hugh Jackman Match #6: Damien Sandow vs. Justin Gabriel Good squash for Sandow for under two minutes. Straightjacket Neckbreaker ends it. *1/2 RAW REBOUND! Match #7: Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho This is what you can expect. Sheamus works hard but he's not a guy that can easily fill time well, especially since he's a babyface in a WWE style match. Chris Jericho is post-2007 Jericho which means he's not really interested in filling time before a finishing run, and he's also post-2009 Jericho so he's not even pretending to care about anything else, which means 75% of the match is blatant time killing. Some of it looks good since Sheamus leans into stuff to make it look good, and some doesn't. They botch a Codebreaker out of the air so it looks like a flying knee, and after that, Sheamus hits a flash Brogue Kick to win. ** ADR attacks Sheamus on the stage and puts on the Cross Armbreaker on the edge of the stage to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 12 2013, 11:31 PM Post #99 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Money in the Bank 2012 July 15th, 2012 Phoenix, AZ Match #1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Christian vs. Santino Marella vs. Tensai vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara [MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH] This is a really disappointing show for the ladder matches. This is full of botches, and there's hardly any incredible spots or moments like in years past, but this was still very good. Ziggler almost dies when Sin Cara fucks up the Spanish Fly. It's mostly just lots of very good stuff without the ladders, and kind of feels blatantly held back given what some of these guys have done before and are capable of. Ziggler just sort of pushes Christian off a ladder and then gets the briefcase to win. **3/4 In the back, Sheamus says words. The Miz comes out and makes his return, now with a grown up's hairstyle. He says he's going to be the fifth man in the WWE Title MITB match tonight, and it says a lot about that line up that in 2012, this is an improvement. RAW MEMORY: Mankind wins the WWF Title Match #2: Sheamus [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] At least this can finally be over now! This wasn't bad, but I wish it was. It was almost upsettingly average. ADR works the arm and Sheamus has some nice moments of brutality, but I remember NOTHING specific as I write this right after I finished watching it. Sheamus has his arm worked on but ignores it, and he hits the White Noise and Brogue Kick to win. OKAY THEN. **1/4 ADR attacks after the match, and Dolph Ziggler runs out! He tries to cash in, but ADR stops him. Ziggler hits him with the briefcase and gives it to the ref, but Sheamus then hits Ziggler with the Brogue Kick to best him AGAIN, and he leaves with the belt. RAW GOES THREE HOURS. THIS DOESN'T HAVE A HISTORICAL PRECEDENT FOR DISASTER OR ANYTHING. The Blacks come out to do commentary. Match #3: The Colons vs. The Prime Time Players Rosa and AW are at ringside. This is a solid 7-8 minute match to kill PPV time. Primo was super super crisp and had a killer Tope Suicida here. D-Young hits the Death By Roderick, but he takes too long following up and Primo gets a cradle for the win. **1/2 PTP get up in the other black team's faces at ringside, so Kofi throws water in AW's face. They have to hold Abe back. A hype video airs for Punk/Bryan. Match #4: CM Punk [c] vs. Daniel Bryan [WWE Championship - No DQ - Special Referee: AJ] This is kind of middling early on since the stipulation cuts off the beautiful matwork of previous matches. But when AJ gets taken out after Danielson shoves Punk into her to knock her to the floor, and taken to the back, this gets to be about the actual to wrestlers in it, and you remember that it's the two best wrestlers in the company and the two best of their generation fighting for some 20-25 minutes from that point on. They take an average crowd and get them SUPER into the match and turn a 50/50 crowd into something like a 100% pro-Punk crowd. Good midsection work by Bryan, and they had some great revenge spots with a kendo stick and a chair, and then AJ came back down. It became more about getting her over than the feud or the title which is such fucking bullshit, as good as she is. She stops both men from using weapons, but stays impartial. They go for a different finish here, which is nice, as Punk wins with a Back Superplex through the table. The AJ stuff held this back, but it's still great. ***1/4 PLEASE TRY THIS AT HOME. TALK ON TOUT. PLEASE. Match #5: Ryback vs. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks This is the longest Rybork match yet at some 4 minutes. It's also the last time as of July 13th, 2013 that he's won a PPV match, so lol. Ryback selling for these two faggots was terrible, but thankfully he pulled through. He hits Reks with the Shellshock for the win. *1/2 RAW MEMORY: Chris Jericho debuts Match #6: Layla/Kaitlyn/Tamina vs. Eve/Beth Phoenix/Natalya Not sure why this happens. But it's only 3 minutes and nobody in this is outright bad. Layla AGAIN beats Beth with the Neckbreaker. *1/2 SUMMERSLAM: AUGUST 19TH! Match #7: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show vs. The Miz vs. Kane [MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH] This is easily the worst MITB ladder match ever. It's five guys who no longer work in a ladder match, either because they're now old and past their prime like Jericho or too big like Show and Kane (without anyone to contrast that or use them as a base like in other great MITB matches) or just a stylistic mismatch like Cena or Miz. As a result, you get a TON of blatant time killing and non-ladder use. Big Show killing everyone was fun, but it went on far too long. The match also went on way too long at some 20 minutes. The ladder stuff they DID do was really really fucking pedestrian. These matches are fireworks displays, they have to be. Only SD's in 2011 and the original MITB have actually had coherent stories, and this doesn't have story or cool shit, the first MITB ever to be that bad. Cena and Show fight on top of MechaLadder and Cena hits Show with the briefcase with these shots that barely connect because Show isn't up high enough, but the briefcase gets ripped off, and Cena wins. No good reason this got the main event spot at all. I can handle the Ace main eventing because he's the Ace, but not when he has three total shitshows in a row for PPV main events while the #1 title in the company steals the show three PPVs in a row underneath his shitshows. *3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 15 2013, 01:33 PM Post #100 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Santino Marella, Since 3/5/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: Christian, Since 5/20/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw July 16th, 2012 Las Vegas, NV TONIGHT: PUNK VS. BIG SHOW CM Punk comes out to open the show and he gets on the mic. He says a year ago, he dropped a pipe bomb on that stage. He said he was the best, and he's proven that he's the best in the world. He says he's beaten everyone in front of him and next week, Raw celebrates 1000 episodes, and 1000 episodes ago, someone like him never would have been on the show, let alone with the WWE Championship. The Big Show then comes out and says that's a hell of a story, but they both know he was inches away from winning last night. Punk asks if he's gonna beat him up, but says he ALMOST always wins. Almost won MITB, almost beat John Cena, almost won the World Title from Daniel Bryan. He tears everything up, but then he loses. Punk says that's why a guy half his size has the respect of everyone, and The Big Show doesn't. Big Show says they don't respect Punk, because they don't respect anything. Big Show says people would move on, because for some reason or another, John Cena is the poster boy and they're both cogs in the machine, despite being the most dominant man in the WWE and an eight month reigning WWE Champion. Punk says he's the WWE Champion and Big Show isn't, and he's a bitter underachieving shell of a man who happens to be a giant. Show says that's his opinion and he's wrong, and says after he knocks CM Punk out, he's also looking at losing the WWE Title to John Cena, because he's not as honorable as everyone thinks. Dem seeds. BAH GAWD THE ROCK WILL BE ON RAW 1000 TO START BEING AWFUL AND RUINING THE WWE GOING INTO MANIA 29! Match #1: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth [c] vs. The Prime Time Players w/ AW [WWE Tag Team Championship] This wasn't good, but that should not be a surprise, since Kofi and Truth suck, and PTP aren't quite good enough to carry them. R-Truth beats Titus with black finisher because there is no justice and PTP never win the tag titles. *1/4 In the back, Daniel Bryan apologizes to AJ for all the awful things he's said about her since WrestleMania, and says he got so caught up in being champion and he made her the scapegoat. He says it hit him after he lost last night, but Eve comes over. Daniel says he's in the middle of something, and Eve says there's another tag match, and it's her and The Miz against Bryan and AJ. USE TOUT. Match #2: Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder Another minute long ADR squash to try and get him over after a mediocre PPV match that he lost. Cross Armbreaker ends it. 3/4* ADR tries to do more, and Rey Mysterio makes his return to save! Rey will go on to reveal that 2011's injury was the last one he could handle and still be a best in the world level guy, but we don't know that yet, since he looked good in this short burst. RAW MEMORY: Heath Slater talks about his matches vs. legends and pretends he won all of them Heath Slater comes out and asks who it's going to be this week, AND RIKISHI COMES OUT! YEAH! Match #3: Rikishi vs. Heath Slater Fun stuff. Rikishi does the Stink Face, then the Samoan Spike in tribute, followed by the Bonzai Drop to win. *1/2 The lights go out, and then The Usos are in the ring, and they dance with their dad. FUCK YEAH SAMOANS. Match #4: Daniel Bryan/AJ vs. The Miz/Eve This is a good three minutes. AJ vs. Eve is good, and so is Bryan vs. Miz. Eve gets a cradle on AJ, but Bryan reverses it behind the ref's back to give AJ the win! *3/4 After the match, Bryan gets on the mic. He says AJ used to tell him something, but he was too scared and stupid to say it back, and Bryan says he loves her! He says last week, he asked her a question because he wanted to be the WWE Champion, but this week, he doesn't want anything but her, AND DANIEL ASKS HER TO MARRY HIM! FUCK YEAH MARRIAGE. SHE SAYS YES! RAW MEMORY: Rock throws Austin and the Smoking Skull belt off the bridge Ryback vs. Jack Swagger is supposed to happen, but Swagger attacks him before the bell. They fight, but Ryback is able to run him out. Vickie Guerrero comes out to introduce Dolph Ziggler, and he comes out to get on the mic. Dolph says you're looking at the next World Heavyweight Champion, because nobody cashes in unsuccessfully and it's only a matter of time. Chris Jericho comes out and gets on the mic and Ziggler stops him and says this isn't about him and he won't leech in and take his spotlight and his moment. Dolph says he WON, and Chris didn't. In fact, he's never won Money in the Bank. While he's at it, he can't remember him winning anything lately. He says all he's heard since January is about how he's the savior, how he'll save us, how it's the end of the world, and how he's the best in the world at what he does, so apparently, losing is "what he does". He says he's been GIVEN more chances than anyone else and he loses every time, and he's been coasting on his legacy for years. He asks when Jericho last won an important match, and when he's silent, Dolph asks if he can't remember either. He says he's losing his touch, and Jericho hits the Code Breaker because he cannot handle the truth. NEXT WEEK: BORK ANSWERS H, THE BRYAN/AJ WEDDING, DX, ROCK, ALL THE PEOPLE FROM WHEN RAW WAS GOOD Voting says Christian will defend the IC Title next week on Raw 1000. ![]() Match #5: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. JTG This gets two and a half minutes for some reason. It's AWFUL because JTG is the worst jobber they have, but Brodus finally wins. 1/4* Brodus dances with kids. Match #6: CM Punk vs. The Big Show Punk again puts out a great wrestler vs. giant match. They get a full 9 minutes to play with, so it's very good. Punk sells a ton and they have a lot of great evasion and failed evasion spots before Show catches him and starts to dominate. Punk has a great comeback, and they build to Show going down incredibly well, so that it feels like a gigantic accomplishment in and of itself. Punk gets his foot on the ropes to save himself from the pin after a Chokeslam, so Show goes nuts with body blows in the corner. He throws the referee back when he tries to break it up, and that's a DQ. *** John Cena comes out with MITB and Show backs off. Big Show leaves as Punk slowly gets up and Cena gets the mic. Show says they all know what his announcement is and says to cash it in now while he's week. Cena says no and says he'll give CM Punk one week. He says he's been champion for 239 days, so at Raw 1000, they'd find out who the best in the world really is, because THAT'S when he's cashing in! |
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6:53 PM Jul 10