| Simon Watches WWE - 2012 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 12 2013, 05:02 PM (12,941 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Aug 5 2013, 11:32 AM Post #121 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Smackdown August 24th, 2012 Bakersfield, CA Lost the show. Oops. Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal - *3/4 -Ryback finally ends this feud, I hope, with a win Layla vs. Alicia Fox - 1/2* Heath Slater vs. Sin Cara - *1/2 -Cody interfered to give Slater the win! Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler - ** -Only 5 minutes and Sheamus wins by DQ after Dolph uses the briefcase. He goes to cash in, but Sheamus is up quickly, so Ziggler takes the briefcase back and leaves Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. The Colons - *1/4 Alberto Del Rio vs. Randy Orton [#1 Contender's Match] - ** -ADR wins clean. Sheamus does commentary, but ADR attacks him after. Ziggler comes out to try and cash in, but Orton stops it. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 5 2013, 06:06 PM Post #122 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE Raw August 27th, 2012 Milwaukee, WI To open the show, Cole reads a tweet from Lawler after last week's show saying if Punk was the best in the world, he wouldn't kick someone in the back of the head. Jerry Lawler takes the mic and goes into the ring to address that, and he says he has to get off his chest. He says at Raw 1000, he may have misspoke, but CM Punk took issue with it. He says last when Punk asked for an apology, out of respect for the WWE Championship, it was no big deal, but then he got kicked in the head from behind. He says this week, HE wants an apology from CM Punk, and Punk comes out. Face pop. He says he doesn't have to apologize to anyone, and Jerry turned his back on the WWE Universe when he slandered its beloved champion. He kicked him in his stupid head for his lack of respect, and he kicked him when he tried to leave his ring after pushing him out of the way. It's what he does, he'll put down anybody who treats him like that. He says he's sorry though, he's sorry that all it takes to get in the Hall of Fame is beat a bunch of nobodies from Memphis, to fight a comedian, to act like a juvenile 14 year old for 20 years on commentary, he's sorry that he's jealous that he never got to hold the WWE Title, and he's sorry that when he finally got his big WrestleMania moment, he couldn't even beat Michael Cole. He says he's sorry that he's become a trained circus seal, spitting out whatever stupid opinions he gets fed through his headset, and he's sorry about the man he's become. He says Jerry looks mad and asks if he wants to fight him. But he's just a commentator, and he's the best in the world, and he would embarrass him. Lawler says he came here for an apology, and Punk says he wants to fight though, he can see it, he wants a fight but asks what he honestly thinks would happen. He's the WWE Champion, if he's not the best in the world, then who else could be? He says he's GOING to fight him tonight, and he can either leave embarrassed because he beat him within an inch of his life, or he can leave embarrassed because he wouldn't fight him. The decision's his. Punk leaves, and Lawler says he'll think about it. Match #1: Ryback vs. Jack Swagger squaaaaaaaaaash. Big Hungry wins with Shellshock. *3/4 TONIGHT: CENA VS. THE MIZ Match #2: Layla vs. Natalya They get 3 minutes, so this was solid. Vickie Guerrero comes out to try and talk before the match, but they ring the bell so she just kind of waits on the stairs until the match is over. Layla wins wit ha spin kick. *3/4 Vickie gets in the ring and says she should be the GM of Raw instead of some mentally deranged child. AJ comes out and skips and asks for the mic. Vickie gives it to her, so AJ tackles her and runs her out of the ring. So this horrible thing is starting. Since they're pretending Triple H is retiring, they spend a few minutes with a DX blowjob video, focusing more on the shitty new versions than the good ones. In a vignette, Daniel Bryan is forced to attend anger management classes by AJ. Dr. Shelby introduces the class and Daniel says he doesn't have anger management issues, and he's fine. He couldn't be calmer. Dr. Shelby says they're waiting for one more person, and Shelby talks about anger colors. A kid shows up in a goat face mask and Bryan yells "NO!" He asks which one of them did this and he doesn't have a goat face. HE IS HANDSOME. Shelby says this is his son Richard, he's a goat in his school play, and tells his kid that this man is sick and needs help. Bryan sits back down and Scorpio Sky tries to calm him down, but Bryan says not to touch him and calls him Harold. At ringside, Lawler gets on the mic and says he accepts! Match #3: John Cena vs. The Miz Hey, so this sucks. This is the longest match of the show at some 10 minutes, and neither one is trying at all, so it feels like punishment as they kill time mindlessly until the finishing run. Stuff happens and Cena wins with the FU. *3/4 RAW ACTIVE: PICK THE STIP FOR PUNK/LAWLER! CAGE, TABLES, OR NO DQ. OBVIOUS WINNER IS OBVIOUS! Another Triple H fellatio video airs. Back in anger management, Scorpio Sky complains about his boss. Daniel Bryan says his boss isn't bad, because his boss is his ex-fiancee who left him at the altar on live TV. Then she puts him in a match against her boy toy, this evil, demonic, monster from hell, who he still beat. Then she made him come here, and that's a bad boss. She skips around while he's stick here with all of them, and he doesn't know how it can get worse. Dr. Shelby introduces their last member, and Kane comes in and sits next to Bryan. ![]() Match #4: Santino Marella vs. Heath Slater This was a 3 minute Santino showcase, and hey, whatever. It's not offensive, and Santino wins with the Cobra. *1/4 WWE APP. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out for their tag match. Sandow introduces Cody as the only person he's been able to have an intelligent conversation with. Cody says Brodus Clay is as fat as everyone in the crowd, and Sin Cara is as ugly as everyone in the crowd. Match #5: Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Brodus Clay/Sin Cara w/ The Funkadactyls They aren't going by this name yet, but fuck it. This got butchered by a commercial, so it was only 2 minutes because three hour Raws still don't make any sense. Clay beats Cody with a Big Splash. *1/2 At anger management, Dr. Shelby asks Kane to take off his mask. He asks him to tell the group about himself, so Kane says he's the devil's favorite demon. Shelby asks Kane to start from his childhood, and this produces the greatest monologue in WWE history. ![]() "I grew up locked in a basement, suffering severe emotional and psychological scarring, when my brother set my parents on fire. From there, I sifted around a series of mental institutions until I was grown, at which point I buried my brother alive. Twice. Since then, I've set a couple of people on fire and abducted various co-workers. Oh, and I uh, I once electrocuted a man's testicles. Years ago, I had a girlfriend named Katie, but let's just say that that didn't turn out so well. My father is a guy named Paul Bearer, who I recently trapped in a meat locker. I've been married, divorced, broke my ex-wife's wedding, Tombstoned the priest, and for reasons not quite explained, I have an unhealthy obsession with torturing Pete Rose." Dr. Shelby asks them to make anger collages for next week. Everyone leaves, but Harold thanks Kane for sharing, so he chokes him and says no problem. TRIPLE H DICKSUCKING #3. Match #6: Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth w/ Kofi Kingston Bryan does what he can. but he's busy working the angle and it's only 2-3 minutes. Truth goads Bryan into responding to "YES!" chants. Bryan goes to the floor and gets in a YES/NO battle with fans, and he gets counted out. *1/2 Daniel Bryan freaks out and throws stuff after the match. included an in-ring promo by Triple H, his arm in a cast, in which he discussed getting into the industry and not wanting to stick around too long; he went on to say Brock Lesnar brought him to a crossroad where he has to decide whether or not he was done and thanked the fans for their support, noting the crowd got him through his injuries and doubts; a tearful Triple H then said, hopefully, he had done something in the ring that would have the fans never forget him; the crowd then chanted "Thank you, Hunter" as tears came down Triple H's face; moments later, he did his pose and left the ring Match #7: Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio This was given some 8 minutes, but because this show is completely beholden to advertising, they cut out three of those minutes for a break, leaving this as a tree stump of a match, cut off before it can become anything of real use. Orton cuts Ziggler off from using the briefcase and Sheamus AGAIN beats him with the Brogue Kick to win. God damnit. ** In the back, Jerry Lawler tells Cena not to help him out tonight and says it'll be one more thing for CM Punk to throw in his face, how he needed John Cena's help to beat him. Cena nods and says fine, which sort of means he was going to interfere anyways. Some fucking babyface. Cena pats him on the arm and wishes him good luck. Kane comes out and scares Josh away from commentary, and instead takes his seat as color commentator. Match #8: Zack Ryder vs. David Otunga Kane says nothing. This is 2 minutes and Ryder wins, so hey, whatever. *1/2 Kane comes in the ring, but Chokeslams Otunga instead of Ryder. THIS FRIDAY NIGHT ON SMOKDAWN: ORTON/ZIGGLER! Raw Active has a Steel Cage Match winning. AJ comes out and books Punk/Cena for the WWE Title at Night of Champions anyways. Match #9: CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler [Steel Cage Match] Fantastic match for 7 minutes. Lawler is Lawler, he's slower now than ever, but DEM PUNCHES AND SELLS. Punk is fantastically cocky here, using the most basic stuff early on to rub in how much better he is at this point. Punk blades well off cage stuff, and it adds to the match because it's a fucking cage match. Lawler has some good comebacks, but Punk shuts him down and wins with the Anaconda Vice. *** Punk gets the microphone on the floor and goes to come back in, BUT PUNK GETS A CHAIN AND LOCK OUT FROM UNDER THE RING, AND HE LOCKS THE CAGE SHUT! Punk says this is just the facts, he has one arm now, but his mouth works now and he wants him to say he's the best in the world. He holds him up, but Lawler refuses, so Punk grabs a chinlock and Lawler says "HELL NO". Punk goes wild with elbows to him and stands back up. He says he's the best wrestler in the world and SOMEONE has to admit it. Cena runs out and says to get the cage up. Punk keeps dropping knees on Lawler and says he's the best in the world again, and he leaves once the cage is up, and Cena goes to help King. Edited by Big Tuna, Aug 5 2013, 06:09 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 12:24 PM Post #123 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 WWE NXT August 29th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Hunico/Camacho vs. Mike Dalton/Jason Jordan YEAH ANOTHER ONE! This ruled. Camacho is pissed off and does a Double A Spinebuster that's really good. This is a really wonderful 5 minute tag match. Dalton is a fantastic babyface jobber. He has great arm drags and dropkicks, and a sweet Missile Dropkick for a nearfall. This is what I want from a guy in his spot. Jordan isn't much, but he's not in this a lot. Hunico wins with the Olimpico Slam. **3/4 TONIGHT: ROLLINS/JINDER IN THE FINALS The Usos come out and call out The Ascension for a fight after last time. Their shitty music plays, but they come from the crowd and attack from behind, before laying out the Usos. I'm kind of upset that this is a real feud. RAW REBOUND! Match #2: Big E. Langston vs. Chase Donovan Another amazing Big E squash. Big Ending ends it. *1/2 The roster is on the stage to watch the main event. Dusty Rhodes comes out to take the title to the ring. AND FINK IS THE RING ANNOUNCER. YEAH! Match #3: Seth Rollins vs. Jinder Mahal [NXT Championship Tournament - Finals] This gets close to 20 minutes because WHAT THE FUCK?! Nothing is rational, everything is broken. I will actually give credit to Black here, he did his absolute best with insane bumping and offense to make this decent. Jinder worked his back over, but Black being Black, he stopped selling once it was time to do nearfalls. Jinder kicked out of the Blackout, but after a Buckle Bomb, another one did it. ** Everyone celebrates with Rollins and the belt. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 12:47 PM Post #124 |
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B-SHOW ROUNDUP OF THE WEEK: The Usos vs. The Colons, Superstars (August 30th) This got 10 minutes, so it was really good. They work it as face/face to start, but when The Colons get shown up, they start to turn more aggressive and have a good heel control segment. Primo is especially great as usual. There's a quality Usos hot tag from Jimmy, and he hits Epico with the Superkick and a Flying Splash, but Primo sneaks in the Lungblower. Epico is rolled on top for the win. **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 02:25 PM Post #125 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown August 31st, 2012 Green Bay, WI TONIGHT: ORTON VS. ZIGGLER featured an opening in-ring promo by World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus in which he spoke of Triple H's future, adding he faced him in his WrestleMania debut and he had the respect of himself and the fans; Sheamus then said Triple H was everything that Alberto Del Rio wasn't; moments later, Damien Sandow interrupted and said Sheamus was ignorant; Sheamus eventually told him to shut up and challenged him to get in the ring, with Sandow saying Sheamus wasn't worth his time; as he prepared to leave the aisle, Booker T walked out and announced Sandow would face Sheamus later in the show Match #1: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes Really good 6 minutes, and the closest Cody's come to looking like he's cared in months. Some good pieces of offense, and he continues to target the mask. Cole and Josh do a really nice piece of character work by saying Cody has an obsessive personality, first with his looks, then with his scarring, then with the IC Title, and now with masks. That kind of small but logical detail that adds a lot to somebody. Rey is able to counter a mask taking attempt into a roll up to win. **1/2 Cody attacks post-match, and ALMOST unmasks Rey, but Sin Cara runs out to save. Rey hits Cody with the 619, AND SIN CARA PUTS A SIN CARA MASK ON CODY! AWESOME! I kind of love this feud now. Shame it never really goes anywhere, but hey. Anger Management airs. Eve comes out to do guest commentary, and Cole announces Layla/Kaitlyn for the title at Night of Champions. Match #2: Kaitlyn vs. Natalya Good three minute power match. Eve keeps sucking up to Booker T and pretending to be nice now. They do stuff and Kaitlyn gets an inside cradle for the upset win. *3/4 In the back, Striker asks Booker T about AJ as Raw GM. He says she's had some fresh ideas, but she overstepped her bounds booking the Jericho/Ziggler match a few weeks ago, and the pressure might be getting to her. He says AJ is definitely off her rocker, and Vickie comes over. She says all AJ's friends have turned their backs on her, and she's going to take action after that horrible assault, and even the GM of Smackdown thinks AJ is crazy. RAW REBOUND! Anger Management #2 replay. Match #3: Sheamus vs. Damien Sandow For a 6-7 minute amtch, this showed the kind of promise that they'd deliver on in 2013. Sandow looks believable getting offense on a top guy, although Sheamus is the kind of top guy who's on top basically because he's booked to be on top. He's good enough to look like he deserves it, but then you know he could totally be in the midcard and nobody would bat an eye (see: everything after he loses the title). Anyways, they do a good basic match without blowing anything and Sandow flees backstage to lose by count out. **1/4 Match #4: The Prime Time Players vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel This is a lot of fun, but is also only 2 minutes. Kidd and Gabriel make a solid undercard flippy dudes team, but Gabriel loses to the Death by Roderick from D-Young. *3/4 Anger Management #3 recap: the one with Kane's speech featured Josh Matthews conducting an in-ring promo with Alberto Del Rio, alongside Ricardo Rodriguez, regarding his beating Orton the previous week to become the #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Title and facing Sheamus at Night of Champions; ADR then said he would make Sheamus submit, just as he did Orton, before Matthews asked ADR about all the other matches in which Sheamus beat him; moments later, ADR said he would do to Matthews what Kane did to him at Summer Slam; moments later, Kane appeared, with Matthews going to the floor and ADR and Ricardo also leaving the ring; Kane then took the mic and said his therapist asked him to come out and apologize to Matthews for what he did to him at Summer Slam; as Kane went to leave the ring, Teddy Long appeared and said ADR would face Kane then and there Match #4: Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio This was at least only 4 minutes, but good lord, this was not a good match. Kane goes after Ricardo on the apron at a point, and ADR wins with the Lungblower. When is that ever a finish? Kind of a burial of Kane, but it's Kane, so he can survive literally anything they throw at him. No idea why they're trying to get that over as a possible finish instead of the sweet corner Enzuiguri. *1/2 Kane is mad, so he brings Josh in and Chokeslams him. RAW RECAP: TRIPLE H FAKE RETIREMENT EDITION Match #6: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero This is again a great pairing, but they only get 7 minutes. Hard to be mad at that when they get a long match at the PPV, but it's still frustrating how horrible Smackdown is now that half the show is Raw recaps. Good finishing run, and exactly as expected, Orton dodges the Fameasser and wins with the RKO. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 02:33 PM Post #126 |
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Top 10 Matches - August 2012: 1. John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan, Raw (August 6th) 2. Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins, NXT (August 1st) 3. CM Punk [c] vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show, SummerSlam (August 19th) 4. Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan, Smackdown (August 17th) 5. CM Punk/John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan/The Big Show, Raw (August 13th) 6. CM Punk vs. Jerry Lawler, Raw (August 27th) 7. Hunico/Camacho vs. Mike Dalton/Jason Jordan, NXT (August 29th) 8. Chris Jericho vs. Dolph Ziggler, SummerSlam (August 19th) 9. Chris Jericho vs. The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler, Raw (August 13th) 10. Sheamus [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio, SummerSlam (August 19th) Wrestler of the Month: Daniel Bryan/Dolph Ziggler [TIE] - 16 Points Tag Team of the Month: The Usos/The Prime Time Players - 6 Points |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 08:39 PM Post #127 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw September 3rd, 2012 Chicago, IL Before the show, CM Punk and Jerry Lawler get in a pull apart brawl in the back, and Punk knocks Lawler out with a head kick. Sheamus comes out to open the show, and he says hello to the city of, in his words, Chicargo. He starts to mention ADR, but CM Punk comes out with the mic and stands on the stage. He says not to come out here and try to suck up to HIS hometown, because they can't relate to him, but they can relate to a guy like him, because he's from here. He says they played video of him attacking Jerry Lawler, but what the cameras didn't catch was him attacking him first from behind. See, there's only one King in Chicago, and when you come at the King, you best not miss. FUCK YEAH. He says Lawler has attacked his integrity too, and he had enough last week, so he taught him about respect. Class was in session until a white knight named John Cena came to stick his nose where it didn't belong. He asks the fans if he turned his back on them, like Lawler said, and they yell back "NO!" John Cena helped Jerry Lawler, it means he agrees with Jerry Lawler, and when you agree with Jerry Lawler, it means you're disrespecting him too. And if you choose to disrespect the WWE Champion, for 288 days, you disrespect the WWE Universe. Sheamus cuts him off and stammers at being booed horribly and says he's the World Heavyweight Champion and he's disrespecting him now and he is so fucking lost. He challenges him to get in the ring and Punk says he has nothing to do with him, and that title makes Sheamus, AT BEST, the second best in the world. There's a pecking order, and he's behind him in it, so he needs to shut his mouth. AJ comes out and books Punk/Sheamus and Cena/ADR tonight. Match #1: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero This got like 9 minutes and was fun, but both guys were clearly held back. They just sort of did stuff, but then the match got cut off before the finishing run where they could really go wild and let loose. Things happened, they started to get into some reversals, but Ziggler blocked the RKO and got a schoolboy with the tights to win. **1/2 The Miz comes out to fill in on commentary. Why? It's time for more Anger Management! Dr. Shelby asks them to show their anger collages and asks Daniel to go first. Daniel's is a piece of paper with YES and NO written on it. He says people still say YES, so he says NO louder, so they scream YES. He screams YES and NO back and forth and says he can't take it. Kane has a blank piece of paper and Shelby asks if that's how he feels inside. Kane then says this is how he feels inside, and he puts the paper in the trash and summons a trash can fire. He sits back down, and Bryan calls him a teacher's pet. Shelby says it's time to talk about their families. Match #2: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/Tensai Fun 4 minutes. Miz is terrible on commentary, talking about how's beaten everyone. Rey and Sin Cara do their thing, and Sin Cara beats Cody with a Senton Bomb. ** Anger Management returns, and they are in the circle of trust. Shelby asks Bryan and Kane to do a trust fall. Bryan is mad, but falls, and Kane catches him. Shelby says he's going to move them to Phase Two now, and they're going to both catch Harold. They're too far back, and Harold falls down when they both pull away. Bryan asks if Kane knew he wasn't going to catch him, and Kane asks the same question. Bryan says he thinks he finally understands Kane. Sheamus vs. CM Punk is supposed to happen, but CM Punk comes out in his street clothes. It takes like a minute for Cole and Miz to notice this. He gets on the mic and says his city respects him and his decisions, they really GET it, and they get that this match, Champion vs. Champion, is nothing less than a WrestleMania main event and that CM Punk is nothing less than a main event wrestler. They get that you don't parade CM Punk out at the end of the first hour and exploit the fact that he happens to be from Chicago. He says this is Labor Day, people are taking the day off of work, so he hopes they can respect that he's doing the same thing, AND PUNK WALKS OUT STILL TO A FACE POP. In the back, AJ tries to get Punk to stay, but he gets in a waiting car and leaves. Striker asks what she'll do, and she says Sheamus will still have a match. Match #3: Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger This is a 2 minute Sheamus squash. Oh well. He wins with a Texas Cloverleaf. ADR comes out to watch. *1/2 after the bout, Rodriguez distracted Sheamus, allowing ADR to slide in the ring and attack Sheamus from behind; Sheamus then attacked Rodriguez and dropped ADR with White Noise; Sheamus then attempted the boot to the face, with Rodriguez shoving ADR out of the way and sustaining the move himself; during the commercial break, Rodriguez was tended to in the ring by medical personnel Layla comes out to do commentary. Match #4: Eve vs. Kaitlyn This was another good 3 minute match. They do stuff, and Eve continues to pretend to be nice. She wins with the Corkscrew Neckbreaker. *3/4 Eve goes out and shakes Layla's hand after the match. Back in Anger Management, Bryan is standing up and he says he's happy to give Kane a rematch from SummerSlam, where he beat him. Kane stands up and thanks Daniel and says some day, he'll be more than happy to accept and he will do his best not to eviscerate him. Bryan says that's assuming he COULD eviscerate him, but that's hard when you're tapping out. Kane says he could make it so he couldn't physically leave this room. Harold tries to break it up and they both yell "SHUT UP, HAROLD!" They keep arguing and Shelby yells at them to shut up and listen and that they've learned nothing. AMAZING. WWE ACTIVE - WHAT WILL BRYAN AND KANE DO TONIGHT?: -HAVE A MATCH -BE A TAG TEAM -HUG IT OUT Match #5: Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal Another two minute squash, and Ryback kills him with the Shellshock. *1/4 In the back, Striker asks AJ what she plans to do about the show falling apart, so she makes Cena vs. ADR into a Falls Count Anywhere match. Daniel Bryan and Kane come out to the ring to await the results of their poll. Michael Cole reveals the results AND IT'S HUG IT OUT WITH 55%! I don't know how to properly recap it. It's one of the best segments of the year. Watch it again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFcXclYSCkM Match #6: Antonio Cesaro [c] w/ Aksana vs. Santino Marella [WWE U.S. Championship] This is under 2 minutes, so whatever. Neutralizer ends it. *1/2 BE A STAR. Match #7: Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater YEAH! Decent 3 minutes of jobber fighting. Rough Ryder ends it, and Ryder continues this strange winning streak. *3/4 after the match, Vickie Guerrero walked out and said she wasn't leaving the ring until AJ came out; following the commercial break, Vickie argued about AJ recently putting Dolph Ziggler's Money in the Bank contract at stake in a match and then attacking Vickie the previous week; Vickie then began interviewing AJ as if she were sitting in the empty chair, aluding to the Clint Eastwood RNC speech; moments later, AJ appeared and said she got off the phone with the WWE Board of Directors who told her she can not put her hands on anyone and told AJ to apologize, which she did; Vickie then called her inept and demanded another apology, with the crowd chanting "Slap her;" AJ then apologized, with Vickie slapping her and reminding AJ that she couldn't touch her in response; Vickie then slapped her a second time before leaving the ring laughing and skipping backstage; moments later, AJ threw the chair and fell to the mat, starting to cry Match #8: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio [Falls Count Anywhere] This ruled. These two are great together when they can use gimmicks and stuff to be creative. They do some cool stuff on the floor like ADR using the apron for a springboard on his Enzuiguri, Cena diving over the steps with a Crossbody of sorts, a Back Suplex through the announce table, etc. They fight to the back and there's an awesome callback to their Last Man Standing match. ADR buried Cena under the interview set pieces there, so when Cena is down near that, he quickly rolls away from it. They fight over near the garage, BUT PUNK HITS CENA OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE HIGH KICK! He pulls ADR on top and Cena loses. *** Punk stands over Cena and just says "respect" before he gets in the front passenger's seat of his car. The car slowly rolls forward, AND PAUL HEYMAN IS DRIVING! |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 6 2013, 10:08 PM Post #128 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT September 5th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Richie Steamboat vs. Kassius Ohno So this totally ruled. It only got 3 minutes, but it showed a lot of promise. Ohno goes to the eyes to cut off a Steamboat comeback, and the ref DQs him for it, which really sucks. ** Ohno keeps attacking Steamboat on the floor and throws him into the railing. He throws him back in, and hits the Death Blow. Match #2: Paige vs. Audrey Marie Sup Audrey Marie. This was a good Paige showcase. Paige has some awesome strikes her and has a wonderful snap on everything. She wins with a Cradle DDT. *1/2 In the back, Ricky Steamboat goes and finds Kassius Ohno and asks what the hell that was. Ohno says he think his son might be hurt, and Steamboat says it takes a lot to attack him after the match from behind, and says it takes something else to do it face to face. He shoves Ohno, and referees hold Ohno back. He asks if he's gonna arm drag him now and says to do something, and says not to throw his back out. Match #3: Leo Kruger vs. Percy Watson Kruger is now working this awesome Kraven type gimmick as an insane poacher. It rules. Percy isn't much, but Kruger is nice and improving now. Squashes are much better for him too. He uses this Reverse Swinging Neckbreaker thing that Spanky used to use as a mid-match move in like 2004-5, if that helps anyone. *1/4 Match #4: Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls vs. Brian Collins One minute Brodus squash. 3/4* Brodus dances with kids. Match #5: The Usos vs. The Ascension Again, the Usos do the best that they can. They come out aggressive for a change, and The Ascension is thrown off. Usos have lots of great offense, and continue to get better and better. The Ascension is still awful though, so this inevitably sinks into mediocrity when they take over. This goes like 5 minutes before The Usos come back though. They have a wonderful hot tag and one of them has a CRAZY no hands dive. The other loses to Swinging Black Finisher from Kenneth Cameron though, so that sucks. ** JR brings out NEW NXT Champion Seth Rollins for an interview. He slam dances and swings the title around like a prop, because he's a fucking jerk off. JR asks about surviving his back injury last week, and he pretends he actually sold it. He says he knew there would be something because Jinder's that good, but there was no stopping him. JR says he now has a target on his back, and he says he knew what he was getting himself into, and he'll even paint the bullseye on his forehead. He says he'll fight anyone but sooner or later, everyone gets blacked out. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 7 2013, 01:03 PM Post #129 |
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B-SHOW ROUNDUP: Antonio Cesaro w/ Aksana vs. Justin Gabriel, Superstars (September 6th) This gets 8 minutes and is a Claudio vs. Flyer match, so it's great. Claudio does his amazing bumping for Gabriel and then takes over with some wonderful work on the midsection. Lots of cool power spots, and Gabriel sells well while it's happening. The crowd does a "USA" chant, which...hey yeah, it's Switzerland vs. South Africa. I want to give this three for the performance of Claudio, but Gabriel ignores the ribs as always when he comes back, and ugh. Cesaro hits the Pop Up European and then the Neutralizer for the win. **3/4 Sin Cara vs. Michael McGillicutty, Saturday Morning Slam (September 8th) Josh thanks Regal for joining him on commentary on a Saturday morning, and Regal says he loves children, and he even used to go to school with them. The deal with SMS is that it's supposed to be super kid friendly, but because that translated to "totally sterilized", they can't show big strikes to the head or bumps on the head. So the people have to change things up. They haven't figured that out yet since they taped the first several episodes in a quick order, which shows here as Joe does big clotheslines and dropkicks, to which they cut out to the crowd. Joe continues to look very good though. Sin Cara does some fancy lucha stuff and wins with La Mistica. **1/4 Edited by Big Tuna, Aug 7 2013, 01:05 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Aug 7 2013, 05:32 PM Post #130 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown September 7th, 2012 Moline, IL In the back, Alberto Del Rio and David Otunga leave Booker T's office, and help Ricardo Rodriguez out as well, and he is in a neck brace. Alberto Del Rio, Ricardo, and David Otunga come out to the ring and ADR gets the mic. He says he's on the greatest roll of his career after making Randy Orton tap out two weeks ago and beating Kane and John Cena in the last week, and being a week away from defeating Sheamus for the World Title. He says he's not happy and says the Brogue Kick should be illegal. It is barbaric and says to look what it did to poor Ricardo. He says his good friend Ricardo may have permanent damage, and it's not like his Cross Armbreaker, which is pure and artistic. Otunga says Sheamus acted with intent to inflict bodily harm and they demanded justice from Booker T and they demand that the Brogue Kick is made illegal. Booker T comes out and says they talked about this and it was supposed to be confidential, but he wants to come out and run his mouth. Booker T says the Brogue Kick is still legal. Match #1: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes/The Miz Solid 7 minutes. Usual problems with Cody and Miz, and Rey being a shell of himself and just being able to do Sin Cara-level standard lucha fare instead of being super energetic and amazing. But whatever, this wasn't bad or anything. Rey beats Miz with the 619 and Penguin Splash. **1/4 In the back, Hornswoggle asks Bryan to hug it out. Bryan shakes his hand instead, and he steps on Bryan's foot and runs away. What a horrible little beast. In the back, Otunga shows Booker T a slideshow of Brogue Kicks, showing people getting super fucked up from the impact. Booker T says he'll think about it, and Otunga says that's not good enough and says to meet him in the trainer's room. HUG RECAP. Match #2: Daniel Bryan vs. Zack Ryder This is only three minutes and more of an angle than a match, but hey, it's still Bryan. He stops Ryder before the Rough Ryder and brings him in for a hug. Instead, he takes Ryder down into the No Lock because Ryder is an idiot and fell for that. Ryder taps. *3/4 Bryan refuses to let go, so the ref reverses the decision! Ryder leaves and Bryan freaks out again. Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Damien Sandow This was another very good 7 minute sampler of Sandow vs. a main eventer. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero come out after the bell to do commentary. Sandow has some awesome bumps and spends most of the match just trying to leave, which is fantastic. He finally gets out and runs up the ramp instead of taking the RKO for a count out loss. **1/4 Orton and Ziggler get in each other's faces after the match, and Orton hits first. He throws Ziggler back in and they fight, but Orton hits the Powerslam. He readies himself for the RKO, but Sandow runs back down. Orton hits him with the RKO, but it allows Ziggler to flee to the back. In the trainer's room, Otunga shows MRI photos to Booker T of neck damage from the Brogue Kick and threatens a lawsuit. Booker again says he'll think about it, but books Sheamus vs. Otunga in the main event. Black Team comes out to do commentary. Match #4: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players vs. The Colons w/ Rosa Mendes [#1 Contender's Match] They at least got 4 minutes now instead of under 2, but this is really good still. All three teams have fought a million times this year, so it's all really smooth stuff by now. D-Young hits Epico with the Death by Roderick, and an Uso follows with the Flying Splash. D-Young tosses him out and steals the cover to win. ** RAW REBOUND Match #5: Wade Barrett vs. Yoshi Tatsu This is Wade's return, and he's actually working the bare knuckle boxing gimmick, so he's interesting for once. Wade wins with the Ripcord Elbow. *3/4 Match #6: Sheamus vs. David Otunga w/ Alberto Del Rio This is pretty much just a squash for Sheamus because, hey, whatever. Sheamus is readying for the Brogue Kick, but Booker T comes out. He reluctantly bans the Brogue Kick, but it's immediately rendered a useless move, as Sheamus wins with the Irish Curse and Texas Cloverleaf. *1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 7 2013, 09:30 PM Post #131 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw September 10th, 2012 Montreal, Quebec, Canada Bret Hart gets brought out to open the show, and it's his first time back in Montreal since Survivor Series 1997. They give him this ridiculous three minute ovation but then an "OLE!" chant breaks out, because fuck yeah El Generico. He says this is better than the last time he was here, but thanks the fans for all the support, AND CM PUNK COMES OUT. Punk says with all due respect, everything that happened to him has been painfully detailed by now in his own book. Punk says if he wrestled Bret Hart instead of Shawn Michaels, and Bret says it would have taken him less than a minute to put the Sharpshooter on him. Punk says he can't even believe that, and what would have happened is not needing a Vince McMahon to screw anybody and he would have beaten him all by himself. No screwjob, no Attitude Era, AND HE WOULD HAVE JUMPED TO WCW AND THE WWE WOULD BE DEAD. AMAZING. Bret says that takes a lot of guts...like he didn't do the same fucking thing. Punk says he can call himself the King of England, that doesn't make it true, and he could even go around and say he's the King of Memphis, and it doesn't make it true. He waves to Jerry, and Bret says he doesn't know what their issue is AND FUCK DUDE, WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU'RE GUEST STARRING. He says not once did Lawler run away from a fight like Punk did last week. DIS REVISIONIST HISTORY. Bret says with all due respect, but Punk cuts him off and says he's forgotten about respect because he's been WWE Champion longer than Bret ever did, and he's about to beat John Cena AGAIN and when he does, he becomes the greatest WWE Champion of all time. Punk says at Night of Champions, he would turn Cena into a beaten up, broken down, vacant eyed, shell of a man. Just like Bret Hart. Punk drops the mic, yells "BEST IN THE WORLD", and leaves. TONIGHT: BERT INTERVIEWS CENA, PUNK VS. EITHER ORTON, BRODUS, OR LAWLER Match #1: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro/The Miz w/ Aksana Claudio tries his best, but with three of the biggest pieces of in-ring shit in the company, even his vast powers cannot make this into anything but a large pile of shit for 4 minutes. To rub in the personal insult that this match was, Kofi beats Cesaro with That Fucking Kick. *1/2 Clips air of the Brogue Kick stuff. That HORRIBLE Sheamus/Otunga deposition segment happens. Sheamus tries to tell horrible jokes and the entire thing falls totally short. Another instance of them trying to plug Sheamus into something that worked for people with 100x his comedic timing and charisma. Match #2: Layla/Eve/Kaitlyn vs. Beth Phoenix/Natalya/Alicia Fox This is like 90 seconds and Eve tags herself in to pin Alicia. 3/4* The people choose Orton as Punk's opponent. Match #3: CM Punk vs. Randy Orton Orton/Ziggler is announced for the PPV. This is a house show effort for 10 minutes so it's not great, but these two are still good enough against each other to pull off an above average match when they're not trying that hard. Good counters and stuff, and then Ziggler runs out to attack Orton for the DQ. **1/2 Orton takes care of both of them because fuck strong or even competent heels, right? Lawler comes in to save, and AJ orders a TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA Match #4: Jerry Lawler/Randy Orton vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero This was fun for a 7 minute match as a precursor to an angle. You get a lot of Ziggler/Lawler, which was a lot of fun. Ziggler gets to show off actual offense here, and Punk gets in a few times. Orton has a hot tag and they do good work before a double down. Paul Heyman comes down and talks with CM Punk on the floor about how this match is ridiculous. He grabs the WWE Title and they leave, so Ziggler gets up into an RKO to lose again. **3/4 HUG RECAP. In the back, Daniel Bryan and Kane are in the office and they look at someone. Kane says of all the monsters he's encountered, he's easily the most sadistic, twisted, and evil. It's Dr. Shelby. HUGE POP! He asks how they're feeling and Bryan asks why he's here. AJ comes in and says she asked him here to solve their problems. Dr. Shelby says he has an idea to settle their issues forever or if it fails, it will send them into an abyss from which they'll never recover, but he wants them to trust one another. Match #5: Ryback vs. Heath Slater DEATH. The squashes are coming to an end. Shellshock ends it.** In the back, AJ tells PTP that they're going to defend their #1 Contender spot against the new tag team of Daniel Bryan and Kane tonight! Match #6: Daniel Bryan/Kane vs. The Prime Time Players Decent 8 minutes. But this is the match where Jerry Lawler has a heart attack, so everyone in this is clearly distracted for like 75% of it, as is the crowd, and Cole on commentary as Lawler is rushed out. Anyways, Bryan refuses to tag out, but Kane tags himself in. Bryan tags himself back in, so Kane Chokeslams Bryan onto D-Young and he stays on top for the cover and the win! ** Match #7: Alberto Del Rio vs. Tyson Kidd Good 3 minutes. Kidd does what he can, and ADR tries. Cross Armbreaker ends it. ** At ringside, Cole first mentions the heart attack. Match #8: Sheamus vs. David Otunga This is a shorter, 90 second, version of their SD squash. Sheamus wins with the Cloverleaf. 3/4* after the contest, Sheamus returned to the ring and dropped Otunga with the kick to the face; moments later, AJ appeared; before she could make her point, Booker T appeared and told AJ it was his business, with AJ returning backstage; Booker then said he would strip Sheamus of the title if he used the kick again before his own internal investigation was complete Match #9: Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes Another fun 4 minute match. They did stuff without any commentary. Miz runs interference and Cody wins with Cross Rhodes. ** Cody hits Miz with it too because fuck him. Bret Hart comes out and he introduces John Cena for an interview. Bret says he had a lot of the same problems with Shawn Michaels, they used to get along, and it went sour because Shawn didn't respect him. Dat accidental acknowledgement that John Cena is a prick who refuses to give respect to the superior wrestler. Bret then realizes he fucks up and compares Punk to Shawn Michaels, forcing the analogy that doesn't fit. Cena says the differences between HBK and CM Punk are obvious and puts over Bret a ton. He says Shawn never lied, but Punk is an insecure dude that constantly has to tell you how good he is. Shawn earned respect because he stood for something (not really, dude cheated all the time and then pretended to find Christ and cheated some more but in subtler ways), and Bret stood for something, which is actually true. Cena says CM Punk is a desperate young man that thinks that leather and gold means respect. Bret asks what he's going to do to shut this phony little punk up, and CM Punk comes out at that. He asks if they called him a phony, and Bret repeats himself. Cena says yes, and asks if that makes him wanna come down and do something, and he's calling him a phony too then. Punk says he's the biggest phony in WWE history, and how dare he cast judgment on him? Punk walks down to the ring and says he's here to defend his name against such rampant DISRESPECT. He says it almost breaks his heart to see them together and says they can sit here and pat each other on the back about how good they were when they were on top, and gloss over that they were both unceremoniously surpassed by someone far superior. He's surpassed John, of course, and there's no comparison between he and Shawn Michaels, because he's BETTER than Shawn Michaels. The crowd boos and Punk says he's better than Stone Cold too. He's better than The Rock, and they all saw what he did in one night, more than Cena did in a year when The Rock disrespected the both of them. He's the best wrestler, talker, technician, brawler, and it's not from a place of insecurity, BUT HE SAYS IT BECAUSE HE IS IT. Cena says he's also a liar, hypocrite, and a conceited scumbag. Cena says it's time for some truth now. For 300 days, CM Punk has been WWE Champion, and for 300 days, that title has been irrelevant. Month after month, he watches main events pass him by, and his excuse is some conspiracy against him, but there is no him. He says the most he made the most noise was when his mic got cut off and says he remembers those days. He talked about change and then after one triumphant night in Chicago and he brought change, it turns out he lied to the people, because change was only CM Punk being a star. They don't even know who CM Punk IS. He remembers him saying he became what he despised, going from the underdog to the favorite, but he did it as himself. Through everything, wins and losses, championships, losing to The Rock, he's done it as himself. CM Punk's changed his ideology, stabbed his friends in the back (when?), borrowed colors from Hall of Famers, stolen Randy Savage's elbow, all because he's yet to find himself. He's not saying he's not tough or accomplished, but this latest development is all about the WWE Title and because he thinks it warrants respect. Cena says the reason he has that is because of any means necessary, AND HE'S WON LITERALLY ALL HIS MATCHES CLEAN SINCE WINNING THE TITLE. WHAT THE FUCK JOHN? Cena says he'll need a new identity and he's been really really loud lately because he realizes he's in serious jeopardy of losing that. He then speaks in French to suck up and Punk says to stop sucking up to the locals. Cena yells and says he doesn't lower himself to anyone and says he's an ignorant son of a bitch and he needs a little bit of respect. Cena says he's gonna kick his ass at Night of Champions. He shoves Punk, and Punk then goes to hit Bret, but Cena stops it. He backs off and Bret then sucker punches Punk. He rolls out to the floor and Bret and Cena celebrate. Cena was on another level there, and not in a good way. Completely making up things while also burying Punk's reign completely and implying he could have main evented if he was good enough, despite Cena having lost to Punk every time they've fought in the last 21 months. And then accusing Punk of cheating to win every match for 9 months when he's won everything entirely clean. Cena's always been sort of relatable with stuff like this, but when the facts are against him, he just makes shit up and comes off like an asshole who can't deal with no longer being the best guy, despite still being the top guy. Only comparable thing is some of that Hogan in 1988 stuff, just being a huge asshole while being booked as this Superman who can do no wrong from a moral standpoint. It creates this incredible disconnect to the point where any rational human being sees this as a John Cena heel turn. CM Punk might not be the nicest guy lately, but Cena's worse. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 7 2013, 10:43 PM Post #132 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT September 12th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Jey Uso vs. Kenneth Cameron Both teammates are on the floor. They do things and Jey does the best he can in 5 minutes to get something out of this unrelenting bag of suck. He wins with his sweet Superkick, so that's at least a good finish and a good result. Regal says the rivalry will continue, because I'm being punished. *3/4 In the back, Dusty is talking to ROB NAYLOR~ and Rick Victor comes up. He wants a title shot, so Dusty tells him to go earn it. Match #2: Big E. Langston vs. Chad Baxter Another wonderful Big E squash. Big Ending does it. ** Big E covers him after the match and demands a FIVE count. YES! FINALLY! An AMAZING "Where's Trent?" video airs. Shame this never pans out. Match #3: Damien Sandow vs. Garrett Dylan Great squash for Sandow. Lots of good punches and knees to the head and body, and Dylan has some brief good offense too before he's shut down. Sandow wins with the Straightjacket Neckbreaker. ** In the back, Briley interviews Seth Rollins. He says he'll fight anyone, and Rick Victor comes over. He says it's easy to say you'll fight anyone when you're protected and says he bets he doesn't even know how name. Rollins says he doesn't, so Victor slaps him and leaves. Rollins says he knows who Rick Victor is, and he just jumped to the top of his list. RAW REBOUND: CENA PROPAGANDA EDITION! Match #4: Tyson Kidd vs. Michael McGillicutty Not great, but again it's a very very good match between these two. Solid matwork, and Joe does his stuff to take over. No amazing Saito Suplex this week unfortunately. Kidd makes his comeback and it has some cool spots, but Joe survives it and hits the McGillicutter for the win. **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 8 2013, 12:53 PM Post #133 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown Ottawa, Ontario, Canada September 14th, 2012 DON'T CARE. LET'S JUST REVIEW MATCHES, SINCE SD HAS NO MEANING. SOME ANGLE TO SET UP SHEAMUS/BRYAN LATER Match #1: The Miz vs. Sin Cara It's one thing when Cody doesn't care against Sin Cara, because he has an ingrained enough level of skill to coast on. The Miz? Nope. Even at his in-ring best, in ECW in 2008-9 when he was trying super super hard and you could see the constant effort to improve and sell well and earn a spot on a show since all he ever cared about was being a star...even then, he was only ever really above average in the ring. By now, he's surely realized that he will likely never get a shot at that level again and is fine coasting, so he's been awful since basically the end of 2011, and doesn't even try to direct Sin Cara well. This gets like 6 minutes and hey, whatever. Miz blocks La Mistica, but then loses after the La Magistral Cradle. *3/4 In the back, Dr. Shelby gives Bryan and Kane stress balls to help them cope with their anger. They squeeze them and look happy, and Kane says his is bigger. Match #2: Kane vs. Kofi Kingston Aside from just not happening, this is how this should go in 2012. Kane doesn't sell, it's under two minutes, and Kane murders Kofi with the Chokeslam to win. 45/Poop Kane goes to do it again, but Dr. Shelby comes onto the stage. He looks at Kane with this amazing look on his face, so Kane hugs Kofi instead before he leaves. Match #3: Randy Orton vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto They get like 7-8 minutes, so this is alright instead of outright bad. Tensai isn't caring a lot anymore, but he has some nice shots. Orton is content to basically do his thing here and mostly take the night off before the PPV, so fuck him. Orton nonchalantly avoids the Back Senton and hits the RKO to win. ** Match #4: Kaitlyn vs. Beth Phoenix Another good 3 minute power match. Kaitlyn wins with a Reverse DDT. *3/4 LOTSA RECAPS Match #5: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan Good 9 minutes. Clearly not their best, since they're both putting over Bryan's anger issues and Sheamus not being able to use the Brogue Kick, but really good stuff again. Sort of a greatest hits show since they've had several big matches by now, but I like their greatest hits a lot. Sheamus is able to win 100% clean with the Texas Cloverleaf, which kind of negates any peril that the Brogue Kick being banned was supposed to imply, so lol. **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 8 2013, 07:15 PM Post #134 |
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth, Since 4/30/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Layla, Since 4/29/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 ![]() WWE Night of Champions 2012 September 16th, 2012 Boston, MA Cole says Jerry Lawler is alive, BUT FUCK THAT, BECAUSE JBL COMES OUT TO DO COMMENTARY. THEY DID IT, COLE AND JBL FINALLY GET A PPV WITH JUST THEM ON COMMENTARY! THE LAST TIME COLE WAS BEARABLE! Match #1: The Miz [c] vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara [WWE Intercontinental Championship] Really fun opener. Once they got going, they did a lot of cool spots. The Rey/Cara stuff was especially good, and Rey seemed extra motivated tonight. Cody and Miz were sort of just warm bodies, but they didn't really mess anything up and let the other two direct the match and plug their spots in. JBL was fantastic here, immediately getting over Sin Cara as Rey'd heir apparent by talking about him following in Rey's footsteps in Mexico. Miz hits Cody with the Skull Crushing Finale to win. **3/4 In the back, Eve and The PTP find Kaitlyn taken out from behind, and bring doctors over. Kaitlyn insists on competing tonight, but can't stand and says someone attacked her from behind. Eve says she'll get her title match, but not tonight, and they have to get her medical attention now. A recap of all the Bryan/Kane stuff airs. Match #2: Kofi Kingston/R-Truth [c] vs. Daniel Bryan/Kane [WWE Tag Team Championship] Bryan does what he can. This isn't good, because Kofi and Truth suck, but at least this is only like 8 minutes instead of 15 or something absurd. Kofi is the worst wrestler in the WWE, Truth is in the top 5, and even a caring Kane isn't up to the task of carrying them. However, Bryan can. They have problems again. Kofi completely misses Bryan with his dive. Bryan shoves Kane off the top into an awkward Flying Splash on Kofi, and because Kofi is a total jabrone, that FINALLY ends this reign of terror. LONG LIVE FRIENDSHIP! *3/4 They argue again about who is the tag team champions. In the back, Booker T gives Eve the title shot since she was second in the battle royal. She sucks up to Booker T and says she'll do it. ROPES ARE PINK NOW FOR TIT CANCER. Match #3: Antonio Cesaro [c] w/ Aksana vs. Zack Ryder [WWE U.S. Championship] Super fun 6 minutes. Claudio will get the best out of anyone, and Ryder brings it. He has some nice offense and is willing to die on all of Claudio's big stuff. Aksana causes a distraction, and Ryder turns around into another nasty European Uppercut. The Neutralizer ends it after that. **1/2 In the back, ADR and Otunga talk. Ricardo comes over without his neck brace, and they yell at him to put that back on right now. Ricardo says he feels better and Otunga yells at him to never take this thing off. He says if his neck is messed up, then Ricardo's has to be almost broken, and calls him an idiot. Match #4: Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero Ziggler debuts the black t-shirt here because only John Cena can be against cancer. This was really really great, and easily Orton's best match since HIAC vs. MOK almost a year ago. They get 18 minutes and knock it out of the park. This is also the first time in like a year they've actually attempted to elevate Ziggler in defeat, as he gets a lot here to put him over. It takes a lot to actually get a control segment on Orton in the first half, so when he gets him down, it feels like a real accomplishment. Lots of cool stuff, and Ziggler breaks out this sweet Bridging Ortonlock. Orton fights out, and they do lots of great counters. Ziggler actually holds his own in a slugfest for once to again get put over strongly, and Orton has to do this sweet Pop-Up RKO for the win. ***1/4 Match #5: Layla [c] vs. Eve [WWE Divas Championship] This is very good. Eve carries Layla through some matwork, and has good work on the ribs. Layla comes back, but Eve goes back to the ribs before winning the title with the Corkscrew Neckbreaker. ** Plug for breast cancer. In the back, Dr. Shelby is with Daniel Bryan and Kane. He says he's proud and each men yells "I'M THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!" AJ yells at them to get them to stop and freaks out. She says she went to great expense to bring Dr. Shelby here, and they have a breakthrough, but they still can't stop arguing. Shelby asks if they want to say anything, and Bryan congratulates Kane. Kane leaves, so Bryan says that's why he's the tag team champions, BUT KANE POURS A BUCKET OF GATORADE ON HIS HEAD! KANE SAYS HE'S GOING TO DISNEYLAND. AMAZING. Hype video for Sheamus/ADR. Before the match, Booker T comes out and reinstates the Brogue Kick! Match #6: Sheamus [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] Sheamus is now wearing white trunks, which was a horrible choice. Looks like he's nude on the wide angle shots. JBL makes a great point that Booker doing that literally right before the match is super unfair. These two again have a good match, but it's not great, and not as good as SummerSlam. ADR has great transition spots, but his arm work leaves so much to be desired, probably because he's going to lose so he doesn't care. JBL buries Mil Mascaras on commentary. <3. Sheamus only barely sells and then wins with the Brogue Kick. IT'S OVER. I WIN. **1/2 Hype video for Punk/Cena. Match #7: CM Punk [c] w/ Paul Heyman vs. John Cena [WWE Championship] Punk has Yankee themed gear in Boston, and he still can't get the people to cheer Cena over him. Fantastic. And oh my god, this was almost perfect. They're never going to touch MITB in terms of a perfect storm of everything pro wrestling can be, but they did something totally different here. The build up -- the real build up, that is -- is all about Punk surpassing Cena and Cena being desperate. They play up to this, as Punk as Cena scouted entirely, avoiding almost every big piece of Cena offense through the match and repeatedly cutting off Cena comebacks more definitively and cleanly than anyone else in recent memory. He baits Cena into trying stuff just so he can counter it. In a beautiful subtle thing, Cena tries to get things off to a hot start and not let Punk dictate the pace, but Punk's so brilliant that he even anticipated this. Cena finally gets a legitimate real comeback, BUT HE HAS TO BREAK OUT A FUCKING TOPE SUICIDA TO DO IT. HOLY SHIT. And it was a really good one too, so props to Cena. They have a great finishing run of counters, and Punk again keeps blocking everything, including the Five Knuckle Shuffle with some cool new counters instead of just the kick. Cena survives the GTS, but that's not surprising. They do submission counters, AND PUNK BREAKS OUT THE CROSSFACE, ONE OF THE TWO HOLDS CENA'S EVER TAPPED OUT TO! AMAZING CONTINUITY! Cena escapes and finally hits the Proto Bomb. He hits a regular Running Fist Drop after the theatrics cost him twice before, and hits the FU, but Punk kicks out now! They do more stuff, AND PUNK BREAKS OUT THE KENTA COMBO AND KNEE STRIKE. HOLY SHIT ALL THESE CALLBACKS. THE CM PUNK SLOPPY MOONSAULT FAILS TOO. This is where the wheels almost fall off, because they kick out of each other's finishes again, which wasn't necessary at all. However, the GTS kickout does lead to Punk using the Rock Bottom for a 2.9. I'm a total mark for the idea that when a guy's normal finish can't do it, he'll go to the well of other guys who beat his opponent. It's such smart storytelling work. Anyways after Punk kicks out of the second FU, he does a German Suplex off the middle rope, again going out of his wheelhouse, but this time it doesn't pay off since there's a double pin! Really kind of a shitty finish. It sort of makes sense with the idea of Cena being totally thrown off and suffering for it, but at the same time, a match THAT good deserves more. The double finishers also hold it back a little bit, but this is still an all time classic. The most you can complain about is that this isn't perfect and that it wasn't on the level of MITB, one of the greatest WWE matches of all time. ****1/2 The referee announces Cena as the winner, but when footage is reviewed, the ref gives the belt back to Punk because that's a draw. Cena argues with the ref and shoves him even because he's a heel, and Punk runs to hit him with the title belt. Punk and Paul leave and Punk holds up the title belt to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 12 2013, 04:57 PM Post #135 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw September 17th, 2012 Bridgeport, CT Paul Heyman comes out to open the show and he gets on the mic. He says he got to witness history last night as CM Punk successfully defended the WWE Title against John Cena, and admits that everyone is talking about the ending, so he's asked the referee to come out here now. He comes out and says both men's shoulders were down, so it's a draw. Cole asks like this is a gutsy decision, but it's the fucking rules. Is not giving Cena an undeserved win now controversy? Paul thanks him for making the hard choice and shows different angles to show that he's right. Paul asks why they refuse to respect CM Punk now, and says John Cena said himself that if Punk left with the title last night, he deserved respect. John Cena comes out to the ring now and says the ref made the right call, but he wanted a restart, and it's like ending the Super Bowl on a tie. Cena asks how Punk earned any respect with a draw last night. Well he kept the title, you said he had to get past you in Boston to get respect, Cena. He kicked out of your finisher twice, does that not merit respect? Paul says Punk deserves respect. Cena says his ankle's swollen, but he wants a rematch TONIGHT. Paul says CM Punk is not here yet, but would address that when he arrived. ADR and Ricardo then came out and complained about the Brogue Kick and says he deserves a rematch. HEY NO, CMON. STOP THAT. AJ comes out and books Cena/Sheamus vs. Punk/ADR and says it would determine who gets a rematch. JBL comes out to do commentary! AND JR OH MY GOD. DREAM TEAM MINUS COLE. Match #1: Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. The Colons w/ Rosa Mendes This got clipped down to 4 minutes, but was a good showcase for the masked guys. Primo and Epico were awesome at flying around for them and Sin Cara beats one of them with a Senton Bomb following the double 619. ** The Prime Time Players attack them after the match. Titus says they were the legitimate #1 Contenders and they had it taken from us, and nobody's taking anything else from them. TONIGHT: TEAM FRIENDSHIP VS. BLACKS REMATCH Layla is on commentary. Match #2: Eve vs. Beth Phoenix This is like a minute and Eve wins with a roll up. Nothing to see here unfortunately. 3/4* Antonio Cesaro is on commentary for the next match for some reason. Match #3: Heath Slater vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls This is basically a Brodus squash, but Slater makes him look awesome. He wins with the Big Splash. *1/2 featured an in-ring segment of Miz TV, hosted by WWE IC Champion Mike Mizanin, in which he said his segment would be better than Piper's Pit, the Highlight Reel, and the Cutting Edge; Miz then introduced Booker T as his guest, calling him the man that tried to get the title off him at Night of Champions by having him face three challengers; Miz said Booker missed the spotlight and being the center of attention, with the crowd chanting "Boring" and Booker snatching the mic away and saying Miz was going to have another guest; moments later, Ryback appeared and destroyed Miz's set as Miz circled the ring; Ryback then hoisted up Miz's couch and threw it into the aisle In the back, Punk talks to Paul and Josh asks about the tag team match. Punk says he's not looking forward to teaming with anyone, and it's indicative of what goes on around here with the rampant disrespect. He says he left Boston as WWE Champion, and asks what the next hurdle is that he has to jump over to get some respect. Match #4: Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. Santino Marella This went on a little long at 4 minutes, since it implies Santino can actually hold his own with Ziggler, but at least he didn't win or anything and is now back to being a jobber to the stars. Ziggler wins with the Peace Zig after a distraction. *3/4 Match #5: Wade Barrett vs. Justin Gabriel Another great Wade showcase. Lots of very painful strikes to the ribs. Wade's starting to get away from it already as he does actual holds and shit, but he still finishes strong with the elbows and started that way. The crowd chants "WE WANT NEXUS" because people are dumb. Wade KILLS Justin with the Ripcord Elbow to win. ** In the back, Jared from Subway is giving out sandwiches. Ryback comes over and takes three footlongs. In the back, Sheamus talks to Cena and brags about his win last night as Cena looks sad. Sheamus says he's the real WWE Champion and tells John not to get down on himself. Wow, fuck you too Sheamus. Cena says he's a realist and he has to justify the next title shot he gets by winning tonight. Sheamus talks about fighting and drinking and is the phoniest motherfucker that ever lived. John Cena, covered in RISE AGAINST CANCER gear, looks like a genuine human being next to him. Match #6: Team Hell No [c] vs. Kofi Kingston/R-Truth [WWE Tag Team Championship] This gets some 10 minutes, so it's better than the PPV. Daniel and Kane get a longer control segment, and Bryan gets to actually do stuff, in spite of this team and gimmick essentially being a massive anchor to yet again stop him from being Wrestler of the Year. Yet, it does slow him down because holy shit, he has to carry Kane AND fight the worst tag team on the roster. Kofi does horrible stuff and then Truth has a hot tag. Kane Chokeslams him though. Bryan tags himself in and puts on the No Lock to win. ** They again argue about who is the tag team champions. BE A STAR. Match #7: Randy Orton vs. Tensai w/ Sakamoto Now that it sort of worked on Smackdown a few weeks back, they put it on Raw, but make it much shorter because this is barely a wrestling show anymore. This isn't a pairing with any chemistry though, and Orton's clearly just counting down the moments until he gets to come back and win. He hits the RKO after dodging a corner charge for the win. ** In the back, Punk and Heyman meet with ADR and Otunga. Heyman says his client has been WWE Champion for 303 days, and will be glad to help Alberto tonight with a win. ADR whispers in Otunga's ear, and he says his client says it doesn't matter, since Punk looks like he sleeps in a cardboard box. Punk whispers in Paul's ear too and Paul says that maybe instead of cars and suits, ADR should buy a time machine so he can go back to last year's Survivor Series, where he lost the WWE Championship to CM Punk. Punk cuts this out and says it'll be an honor, and ADR says it will be an honor. Match #8: Damien Sandow vs. Zack Ryder Solid 4 minutes. Sandow is now wearing purple trunks because only John Cena can be against cancer. Zack is the best JTTS that regularly makes TV and both men come out looking pretty good. Sandow's flurry of knees at the end to regain control is awesome, and the Straightjacket Neckbreaker gets the win. ** Before the main event, Paul and Punk debut the amazing gag where Punk's imaginary watch isn't working, so he uses Paul's before announcing that it's clobbering time. Match #9: John Cena/Sheamus vs. CM Punk/Alberto Del Rio w/ Paul Heyman Good match, but a bit of a house show effort. JBL is amazing on commentary, pretty much constantly speaking the truth about everyone always making excuses for Cena, and asked why they can try and diminish Punk controlling Cena in the match due to Cena being hurt when Punk was in the exact same match as Cena last night. Cena has the hot tag and pins Punk with the FU, but Punk's foot was clearly on the bottom rope and referee Brad Maddox makes a bad call. **1/4 Punk argues with the referee about it. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 12 2013, 08:15 PM Post #136 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT September 19th, 2012 Orlando, FL Match #1: Trent Baretta vs. Johnny Curtis YEAH TRENT'S BACK! Curtis has some good work on the arm injury that kept him out for like 6 months, and Trent sells it well. He wins with a Busaiku Knee Strike. **1/4 Match #2: Paige vs. Alicia Fox This was weirdly fun and aggressive for an Alicia Fox match. I'm starting to think Paige might be legitimately great for getting this out of her. Cool arm drags and holds, really smooth stuff, and Paige wins with the Cradle DDT. ** RAW REBOUND! Match #3: Jimmy Uso vs. Conor O'Brien Again, both partners are on the floor. Another attempt by an Uso to carry this, but Conor is even worse and this is only like two minutes. Interference gives The Ascension another win. 3/4* They beat down Jey Uso too because fuck life. In the back, Briley tries to interview Bo Dallas, but Michael McGillicutty thankfully comes over. He says nobody cares what Bo has to say and he doesn't matter at all. Joe then turns to the camera and says he won last week. Bo cheap shots him from behind and they have a TERRIBLE pull apart. Match #4: Kassius Ohno vs. Oliver Grey [Sparring Session] They call it a sparring session but it's clearly under the rules of a match because the ref enforced rules and there's a winner. Basically a Hero squash apart from a few killer European Uppercuts from the new guy. Hero wins with an arm-trap Cravat hold, and says that was barely a fight and says he's going to give the kid another shot. He then hits a Rolling Elbow and puts on another Cravat for the win. Richie Steamboat runs out to save, and I suppose that marks the end of it. *3/4 Match #5: Seth Rollins vs. Rick Victor Solid 6 minutes. Victor isn't super impressive or flashy, but he does well as a base for Rollins to stand out against. Seth does his stuff and wins with the Blackout. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 12 2013, 10:17 PM Post #137 |
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WEEKLY B-SHOW ROUND UP: The Usos vs. The Prime Time Players, Superstars (September 20th) I want to say this was their best match, but it's all starting to blend together in a series of good matches with different mistakes stopping them from doing anything that stands out as special matches. Usos rule as usual, and D-Young manages to get the H/Shawn corner bump to the floor down great. That leads to some sweet dives before the transition off a sweet Neckbreaker from the apron spot to give PTP the control. The flaw here is that the hot tag isn't nearly long enough before the PTPs win. Decapitation ends it. **1/2 William Regal vs. Zack Ryder, Saturday Morning Slam (September 22nd) THIS RULED. Regal understands the SMS concept more than anyone else, so he does an entirely mat-based match for 10 minutes with comedy thrown in and arguing with Santino on commentary about whether or not he has the match won, and it's so completely different that it comes off amazingly. Ryder finally breaks free of all this, and wins with the Rough Ryder. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 13 2013, 02:14 PM Post #138 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Smackdown September 21st, 2012 Philadelphia, PA Edge comes out to open the show and to plug his role on Haven. He says the WWE has gotten weird since the last time he was back, and says somehow Daniel Bryan and Kane are the Tag Team Champions and calls them a demon and goat boy. Daniel Bryan comes out to cut this off and says they didn't become the tag team champions, BECAUSE HE IS THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. He says he doesn't think he knows Edge and tells him to go back to acting because he will not make him snap. Edge starts a "YES" chant. Kane comes out and says HE is the Tag Team Champions. Edge asks why Kane is out here and says he put Bearer in a meat locker, and that wasn't him this time. Kane says he wants to fix that situation, AND HUGS EDGE! FUCK YEAH FORGIVENESS! Bryan yells "NO!" and they invite him into a group hug, but Damien Sandow comes out. He says they've turned the show into a complete abomination and says this shows how vast and far this enterprise has fallen. Edge yells at him to shut up and tells him to fight one of them. Sandow says he does not resort to measure of physical means, thank you. Edge asks the fans and Sandow yells that their opinion is of no consequence. The fans want Kane and the champions argue. Coming back, Kane vs. Sandow starts. Match #1: Kane vs. Damien Sandow Bryan is sitting ringside to watch. This is basically just 3 minutes of Sandow running away and avoiding the fight like in the Sheamus and Orton matches. Bryan eventually throws him back in, but Kane is distracted by this, AND SANDOW HITS THE STRAIGHTJACKET NECKBREAKER TO PIN KANE WHOA. *1/4 Bryan leaves with both title belts. In the back, Kane and Bryan argue and Kane takes his title back. Dr. Shelby comes over and tells Kane to calm down. Bryan calls him a big red freak and says he was trying to help. Bryan takes his title back and says they're both his. Kane grabs his beard and threatens to rip it off if he doesn't give the title back. Dr. Shelby negotiates a beard for title trade, and Kane gets his belt back. Shelby says to make Bryan feel better, he's going to go talk to Booker T and get him a match too so Kane feels better about losing. In the back, ADR yells at Booker T for reinstating the Brogue Kick RIGHT before the match, giving him no time to prepare and he deserves a rematch. Booker T says he's had the last three or four shots, and he's gotta earn another one dawg. ADR throws shit and leaves. YEAH, GO BOOKER T. DON'T DO IT AGAIN. Eve comes out to do commentary. Match #2: Layla vs. Natalya Solid 90 seconds, but yeah, it's 90 seconds. Layla wins with the Layout. * Match #3: Sheamus/Randy Orton vs. Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler w/ Vickie Guerrero This is what you'd expect. ADR/Sheamus no longer being decent since neither cares about it since the feud is over, and Ziggler being the only one to put in a real effort is rewarded with him losing again for some reason. I no longer understand this company. He gets some good stuff out of Orton and Sheamus at the end, and Sheamus beats him with the Brogue Kick. ![]() **1/4 Match #4: Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes This is only 2 minutes and nothing of note. Bryan is going for the submission, but Kane's pyro goes off, and Bryan is then hit with the Cross Rhodes for the loss.*1/2 In the back, Bryan finds Kane and they argue. Bryan calls Kane jealous and says he should be locked in a basement. Kane says Bryan should be locked in a petting zoo and he's even now. Bryan says he's better than Kane and he's the tag team champions. They argue and Bryan says Kane should be in a basement petting zoo. They see Sandow and Cody laughing and Cody says this spectacle proves that the two of them as champions is a joke. Sandow says this experiment is about to conclude, and Bryan challenges them to a title match later. RAW REBOUND! Match #5: Heath Slater vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls This is under minute before something beautiful happens AND DREW MCINTYRE AND JINDER MAHAL ATTACK BRODUS FOR THE DQ! YES! 3/4* Drew hits the Future Shock DDT and Jinder puts on the Camel Clutch, and this band of three men leaves together. Match #6: Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro w/ Aksana This was under two minutes, and Claudio did what he could yet again. Aksana accidentally distracts the ref when Claudio has the match won off of a Pop Up European. He yells at her, but Santino gets a roll up to win. *1/2 He finally dumps her after the match. Match #7: Team Hell No [c] vs. Team Rhodes Scholars [WWE Tag Team Championship] This is basically the birth of the team, so I can call them by their WWE name, and complain about the "Team" part when that gets on TV. The Usos, PTP, and Kidd/Gabriel all come out to watch as Josh says tag teams are lining up and hoping Kane and Bryan finally self destruct when they get a title shot. As for the match, this was just a taste for 4 minutes. Rhodes hits Kane with a chair for the DQ. *3/4 Bryan saves, and has his own chair. Instead of fighting, Bryan and Kane take turns wearing out Rhodes and Sandow with chairs to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 13 2013, 07:06 PM Post #139 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE Raw September 24th, 2012 Albany, NY CM Punk and Paul Heyman are in the ring to open the show, and Paul has the mic. Paul says he's honored to share the ring tonight with the WWE Champion and Best in the World, and says this show is grinding to a halt right about now and Raw will not be presented until justice is served, and calls out that referee. Brad Maddox comes out Paul asks for an apology. Brad says he's sorry and it was his first main event. Paul asks him for his resignation, but he says no. Punk finally speaks up and asks how he got a job and says he embarrassed all of them. He says AJ hired more referees after Raw expanded to three hours so Paul says he has almost no experience and is barely a referee and he's another replacement referee in sports ruining big decisions. Punk says he's a buffoon who got hired by an idiot and calls AJ out to fire Brad Maddox now. AJ comes out and she sends Brad to the back, so Paul assumes she's here to reverse the decision. AJ says not to assume, and says she won't let them berate an official and hold her show hostage. Punk says he's the WWE Champion and yells about deserving better. I love that Punk's now started being more aggressive and outright yelling in the wake of Night of Champions, where he was more or less guaranteed to be treated like the top guy if he got past Cena, and when he did that, he realized he was being lied to and is now kind of snapping. Punk says to tell the people he's the best in the world, and he knows this is because he turned her marriage proposal down. Punk says to officially forget that match happened and he'll forget how she showed up every week in his t-shirt and all the voice mails and texts that are not fit to air on television. Punk apologizes if she's embarrassed, but that's how embarrassed he's been lately. Paul says he can navigate these political waters for him and says he's got this. AND PAUL GETS DOWN ON ONE KNEE AND ASKS HER TO MARRY HIM. He says they would become the most powerful and influential couple in WWE history. She can take all his ideas because that's what people running Raw do (FUCK YEAH) and it's okay because he likes them young, dumb, uninhibited, and ambitious. She slaps him and leaves. ![]() TONIGHT: INTERVIEW WITH LAWLER In the back, Braddox apologizes to AJ and says it won't happen again. AJ says it better not, because she'll make sure he never works in this business again. Match #1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston HEY, NO. STOP IT. Both seconds are on the floor. This is eight minutes and 5-6 of that is a finishing run. As a result, this is their best match all year and they pull out some cool counters and nearfalls. Ziggler wins clean for once with the Peace Zig. **3/4 At ringside, Cole reports that Cena injured his elbow and had surgery and will try to return soon. SMOCKDAWN REBOUND: FRIENDSHIP EDITION Daniel Bryan and Kane at a restaurant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl5wJjPMWdY This week on RAW ACTIVE, the WWE Universe blows it by picking Team Hell No as the official name instead of Team Friendship. Match #2: The Prime Time Players vs. Santino Marella/Zack Ryder Solid showcase for the PTP for 2 minutes. Titus beats Santino with the Clash of the Titus. *3/4 TIT CANCER'S BAD. BUT ONLY JOHN CENA CAN BE AGAINST BREAST CANCER. Mick Foley comes out to the ring, and he gets on the mic. He says he's here as a fan tonight and as a member of the WWE Universe, he occasionally is inspired by things on Raw. Never more so than a year ago when he saw the emergence of CM Punk as a main event player and inspiring change. He asks if this is the change he wanted, bullying referees and blindly following Paul Heyman. CM Punk comes out to the ring and tells him to say this to his face and says to not use his name to remain relevant, and he'd appreciate the respect to do this to his face. Foley says he struggled with whether or not he mattered, but CM Punk showed him in January that he is. And when CM Punk won the WWE Title at last year's Survivor Series, he sent him a text of congratulations, and he knows that Punk didn't spend the next hour in the locker room responding to every single message, but responded to the ones that mattered, and within two minutes, he texted him back, "Thank Mick. That means a lot coming from you." So from someone who clearly still matters and who CM Punk clearly respects, he's come here to try and help. Foley says he used to be a Paul Heyman guy, but at some point, he had to break free. He became somebody once he stopped listening to Paul Heyman and says Paul's been in his ear and caused all this. Punk says he gets it, Paul's a liar, he's slime, he's a bad guy. Mick says that's not it, because Paul never lied to him, but at the end of the day, Paul will do what's best for Paul Heyman, not CM Punk. He asks why him, CM Punk, one of the best talkers he's ever seen, needs a mouthpiece. He asks if he wants to keep drinking Kool Aid or if he's going to be the man he knows he can be once again. Punk asks if he's done, and Mick says maybe he'll listen to him about Hell in a Cell then. He says that one match 14 years ago made him a legend and nobody understands it more than him. And yeah, it took time off of his career and probably his life, but since June 1998, he's NEVER had to ask anybody for respect, because he earned it that night. Anybody who thrives inside HIAC goes on to be respected forever and to ask Shawn Michaels and Triple H and The Undertaker. Punk says that was brilliant speech and asks if he wants the OLD CM Punk. Mick says he wants him to SHOW that he's the best in the world by stepping inside the Cell with John Cena. Punk asks if that's what everybody wants, and the crowd cheers. He says he's confused, because he heard this speech from John Cena after he won at SummerSlam. He said to cement his legacy, if you walk into Boston and leave with the WWE Title, then you are the best in the world, and he did JUST THAT THING. Then Bret Hart gave him a different crap speech who disrespected him and when he tried to get his revenge for that, Cena and Bret knocked him down and embarrassed him and everyone loved that. He says it'd be real embarrassing if he tried to touch Mick tonight, because that would be lowering himself and just like the people now, Mick is beneath him. Punk asks how many times he has to beat John Cena to prove he's the best in the world, and says the people turned on him first so he's not doing this for them anymore. He says Mick's the one who would do anything to get a reaction from the people and he's not going to destroy his body to appease people as fickle as the WWE Universe. He says Mick raised the bar by getting thrown off the Cell, but he raises the bar like this. Today's number 309. Foley says he has some numbers too. 29. Twenty nine. The total days he ever held the WWE Championship, and all these years later, nobody cares or remembers that. DOES CM PUNK WANT TO BE A STATISTIC OR A LEGEND? NOBODY CARES ABOUT DATES, THEY CARE ABOUT MOMENTS, AND AS SOMEONE WHO'S STILL RELEVANT, HE NEEDS THOSE MOMENTS. He says John Cena should be ready by Hell in a Cell, and he's here tonight, and he says AJ is allowing him to decide if he wants Cena or not in the Cell, and asks what it's going to be. He asks him to think good and hard and to make the decision for himself, for him, and for all of them. Have a nice day. Match #3: Ryback vs. The Miz Basically a Ryback squash, which is great. Ryback wins with the Shellshock in 3 minutes. *1/2 featured a backstage segment with AJ speaking with all the referees and told them to have a great rest of the show; after they left, Alberto Del Rio walked in with David Otunga and Ricardo Rodriguez, wearing a neckbrace; AJ then said the three would face World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus, Rey Mysterio Jr., & Sin Cara; after AJ left, ADR and Otunga complained about the match as an excited Rodriguez took off his neckbrace Match #4: Wade Barrett vs. Tyson Kidd This was 2 minutes, but Kidd tried really hard and Barrett's elbows and knee based offense was still there and not totally gone yet. Barrett hits the Ripcord Elbow, and Cole dubs it the Souvenir. *3/4 included an in-ring segment in which Cole discussed the recent injury to Jerry Lawler before introducing Lawler on the big screen, live from his home in Memphis; Lawler went on to discuss what he remembered from that night in Montreal, commented on the outpouring of support he had received, and said he would be back on Raw as soon as his doctors allow Match #5: Sheamus/Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio/David Otunga/Ricardo Rodriguez I'm happy for once that a match got butchered by a commercial since now this was only 6 minutes. But yeah, it's a lot of Otunga wrestling and Sheamus/ADR, which is all pretty horrible. Rodriguez did some fun comedy spots. He gets stuck in the ring at the end and gets beat with the 619 and Senton Bomb. *3/4 Sheamus hits Otunga with the Brogue Kick post-match, because he's a bully. Kane and Daniel Bryan come out to the ring and Cole reveals that their tag name is Team Hell No. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes run out and they attack the champions from behind in revenge for Smackdown. They leave and Sandow says they did this to themselves. Cody says it's time to talk real names, and says they are the next Tag Team Champions, TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS. Sandow says now they have a reason to truly be angry. You're welcome. I do not understand the need to put Team on the beginning of actual team names, it comes off really lame. The Rhodes Scholars is a great name. Match #6: Eve/Beth Phoenix vs. Layla/Alicia Fox Another way too short match. Eve beats Fox with the Corkscrew Neckbreaker. 3/4* after the bout, Kaitlyn came out on the entrance stage on a crutch and said she tracked down security footage from backstage at Night of Champions that showed her attacker was a blonde; moments later, Eve began blaming Phoenix, with Phoenix saying Eve was a liar; moments later, Eve dropped Phoenix with the neckbreaker and yelled at her that Phoenix wasn't going to take advantage of people Match #7: Tensai vs. Brodus Clay w/ The Funkadactyls This is shaping up to be a fun big man match but after maybe two minutes, The Big Show makes his return and KO Punches both men so the ref throws it out. *1/2 THIS WEEK ON SMOCKDAWN: BOG SHOW VS. ORTAN John Cena comes out with his arm in a sling and talks about the crowd and then thanks people for supporting his Rise Above Cancer campaign. He says he's here to apologize, and firstly to the referees for ever calling their integrity into question and then apologizes to them for CM Punk. Dude wants a match restarted when the referee makes the right call, but when the referee makes a bad call in his favor, he's all like "nah it's cool man, refs try hard". He says that he never said Punk would be the best in the world if he left Night of Champions as WWE Champion, but he said it would define who he is. He says he was right, because since then, Punk's turned into a "monkey franking ship sinking son of a bee sting". GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. He apologizes for his injury, but says he's going to walk into Hell in a Cell to fight. CM Punk comes out with Paul Heyman now and says it was a beautiful speech, and John's a hell of a politician. He should run for President, because he's got the character assassination thing down pat. He wants to call his integrity into question because he doesn't buy into his crap. There's always been one CM Punk, John should know him well because he's the guy who's beaten him over and over again for two years. He's the guy who's been champion for 309 days, a title reign that isn't ending any time soon, least of all at the HAND of a one armed man. Cena says to shut up and face him for the title. Punk says he's not accepting for a lot of reasons. First of all, the fact that he gets title shot after title shot isn't fair, and he wants to face someone new. He's had the last three shots and blew it three times. His main reason is that John won't be medically cleared, and it'll be one more thing for him to complain about. Coming out here and talking trash and telling lies about the most dangerous man in the back when he has one arm is paramount to the stupidest thing he's ever done. Punk tells him to run right now, because he's giving him to the count of five to leave with his back turned. If he turns back around and sees him still here, he's going to hurt him. He won't have his integrity called into question, because he commands respect. He turns around to count, and turns back around, AND CENA PULLS OUT A LEAD PIPE AND HITS HIM IN THE GUT. Punk rolls out in pain and Cena celebrates using a weapon in a fight. Classic underhanded sneaky stuff, this heel turn is going very well. Cena says he'll see him at Hell in a Cell, and Punk is hurt. Cena says that's what he calls a pipe bomb. UGH. In the back, Punk is walking and passes Mick Foley. He laughs, so Punk turns around and kicks him in the knee. He looks pissed, but shakes his head and walks off. Punk stops and shakes his head again and turns back around, BUT RYBORK IS THERE. |
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| Big Tuna | Aug 13 2013, 11:20 PM Post #140 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: CM Punk, Since 11/20/2011 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus, Since 4/1/2012 WWE U.S. Champion: Antonio Cesaro, Since 8/19/2012 WWE Intercontinental Champion: The Miz, Since 7/23/2012 WWE Tag Team Champions: Team Hell No, Since 9/16/2012 WWE Diva's Champion: Eve, Since 9/16/2012 NXT Champion: Seth Rollins, Since 8/29/2012 WWE NXT September 26th, 2012 Orlando, FL TONIGHT: OHNO VS. STEAMBOAT! Match #1: Michael McGillicutty vs. Bo Dallas Bo is so insanely inept at everything involved in wrestling that Hennig actually has to carry him and cover for him. Bo fails to do even the most basic stuff, looks terrified of actual contact on his strikes or in taking Hennig's strikes, and then looks even more terrified of taking offense. He is in a rare class of being one of the all time worst wrestlers to make WWE TV. Has to be. At least it ends well, as Bo loses to the McGillicutter. 3/4* A hype video airs for Paige. She says she's here to fight, not be a Diva. She needs to not talk. RAW REBOUND! Match #2: Leo Kruger vs. Jake Carter Leo does an inset promo saying he's hunting a baby mastodon tonight. Carter again does well for a super inexperienced guy. He shows some great corner strikes like his dad and solid clotheslines. Kruger isn't a great squasher, but he gets the gimmick over more than anything, which is probably better for his career here. Kruger wins with the Spanky Neckbreaker Deal. *1/2 Match #3: Ryback vs. Two Jobbers Squash time. Double Shellshock ends it. *1/2 Match #4: Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat This gets 7 minutes, so it's very good. Hero gets to fight a talented and fiery young guy, so that's a guaranteed great match. Steamboat has some great selling as usual and is crisp, and they put out one of the better NXT finishing runs yet. Lots of close nearfalls, and Hero's the master of getting SUPER close nearfalls off of basic stuff. We haven't really seen it since he left CHIKARA and focused on ROH and PWG where he had to deal with super smaky fans refusing to buy finishes unless they were kicked out once before or used primarily as a finish, so it's great to see that again. Steamboat dodges a Rolling Elbow and gets a great looking inside cradle to win. **3/4 Ohno attacks after the match and hits the Death Blow. He puts on the Arm Trap Cravat from last week too before referees have to pull him up. This feud rules. |
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Shellshock ends it.

6:53 PM Jul 10