| Simon Watches ECW - 1997 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 17 2013, 10:26 PM (6,992 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | May 17 2013, 10:26 PM Post #1 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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I wanted to stay away since some things about this were grating on me, but this is better than Smackdown in 2012. It has to be. Maybe I'll try to switch after a month of each. Or whatever. ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV January 9th, 1997 Webster, MA A recap of Terry Funk's showing at N2R airs, set to "Desperado", as Joey Styles narrates and hypes up his return this Saturday at the ECW Arena, and says he's making "one last run" in 1997. The usual intro is interrupted by a BWO based introduction video. THIS. IS. ...Blue? Amazing. Match #1: Stevie Richards w/ BWO vs. Axl Rotten This is decent enough, and does a good job getting over Stevie as being able to pull off upsets. Axl does stuff to him, and has weirdly homosexual trash talk, saying he's going to turn him onto his stomach and ride him like a bitch. Axl hits the Dominator, but picks Stevie up for another, BUT STEVIE GETS OUT AND HITS THE STEVIE KICK TO WIN?! *1/2 The BWO celebrates into the crowd. Clips air from after Taz/RVD on 12/7 of Taz holding his shoulder. In the back, Joey wonders about the condition of his arm, and says Taz didn't wrestle in Webster, MA recently, and named Chris Candido as his replacement. Highlights air from the rest of the card, including a Bubba/D-Von brawl, Francine being hot, a catfight, Tommy vs. Shane, and a decent looking Eliminators vs. Bubba/Spike match. In the back, Joey Styles points out that before the match, Killer Kowalski presented The Eliminators with the new ECW Tag Team Championship belts. On HYPE CENTRAL~, Chris Candido is the guest of the honeydew on your fruit plate of life, Joel Gertner, and Candido finally yells to hold the Hype Central camera still. Chris says he and Louie are both here now, and he wants no part of him because he drives him nuts. Clips air of Candido taking out Mikey in Webster, and he blames Louie for him losing to RVD, so he's going to teach him a lesson. He is Chris Candido, no gimmicks needed. THIS SATURDAY - ECW ARENA - 1/11: -SHANE VS. TOMMY FOR THE TV TITLE -TERRY FUNK VS. BRIAN LEE -CHRIS CANDIDO VS. LOUIE SPICOLLI In the back, Joey talks about how both men in the next match are members of Raven's Nest, as Nova belongs to Stevie's...well, his clique, the BWO. He says Brian Lee is paid by Raven, but he's also paid by Shane Douglas, which shows how in demand he is. I thought Brian Lee was a lunatic who did Raven's bidding. He was spending like 7 months in 1996 yelling that he had Raven's back and to let him kill Tommy for him. Clips air of Brian Lee eliminating BWO from that battle royal. Before the match this week, Stevie applauds Brian Lee. He gets on the mic and says they're boys, the two of them, and the battle royal was every man for himself, so he forgives him for eliminating all of the Blue World Order. Stevie says Brian knows his roots are with Raven's Nest, as he's Raven's hitman, and they're also in the Nest. He says they're all friends, and if he wants, he can even join the BWO! He says to think about it. BLUEDOZER. Match #2: Brian Lee vs. Hollywood Nova w/ BWO Brian Lee wins with the Chokeslam in 30 seconds. 45/Poop In the back, Joey Styles does another hilarious "interview" with Killer Kowalski, but Brian Lee chokes him out. He says this goes out to Terry Funk, because he's the legend killer. In the back, The Eliminators are irate. Saturn says it might not have been for them, but Brian Lee went over the line attacking a 74 year old man. He asks how low he'll go, and says he's made it personal now. He says he was sending a message, and they've intercepted the message, and now he and Candido have a Boston style ass whipping coming their way. So Brian Lee and Chris Candido will probably kick their asses then if it's a Boston style ass whipping. In the ring, Raven has the mic. He says he's a better man than Sandman, and that's why his wife left him. He's a better father than him, and that's why his son left him. He's a better wrestler than him, and that's why he's the World Champion, and he yells for his belt now. The Sandman comes out with the stolen belt, and they fight. Sandman keeps beating on Raven until he sustains a low blow. Raven gets his belt, and hits Sandman with it and is all bloody. He says that's his belt and keeps slamming his face into it on the mat. They have a brawl all over the arena, and Raven throws Sandman into the BWO locker room. Raven tries to run back to the ring to get his belt, but Sandman catches him, now in a BWO shirt. They get back to the ring and trade punches on their knees, until both men collapse. Okay then. Edited by Big Tuna, May 17 2013, 10:26 PM.
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| Big Tuna | May 17 2013, 11:21 PM Post #2 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV January 16th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA Match #1: The Gangstas vs. Tommy Rich/Ricky Morton Well, this is an odd appearance. Fuck it. This was fun. The veterans have some good shots, but this is very much a Gangstas showcase. Morton sells like...well, not prime Ricky Morton, but he still sells like Ricky Morton. Because he is Ricky Morton. A small portion of the crowd chanting "ROCK AND ROLL" was amazing. New Jack wins with the 187 on Rich. *1/2 Clips air after break of Rich and Morton getting into a fight and then a bloody match. THIS LOOKED AWESOME! Of course like a minute airs. Fucking ECW. Rich wins with a roll up. In the back, Joey Styles says he's sent a camera to the Team Taz Dojo in New York to try and get word on the arm of Taz. A random camera guy knocks on the door of the dojo, and some random New Yorker comes out and says to beat it. He looks like a very young Eddie Kingston, but that can't be true. The camera goes to leave, but the door man comes back and says Taz will give him the interview. Coming back, the interview happens, and Taz is in his office. He says Sabu gets to sit out and go to Japan for a month, and he's still the golden boy, so he felt he should get a month off too. He says he's beaten everyone in the same way for over a year, and when Sabu signs for the match, then he might wrestle. Joey asks about the arm, and Taz says it's definitely true about his shoulder. Taz says Joey knows that though, because he's had it for years. It's an old injury that acts up once in a while, and this happens when he trains or competes every day. Joey asks why he hates RVD, and Taz says he doesn't like him, and he's trying to make a name in his house without paying his dues. He says he hates his stupid long hair and stupid karate. He says no smart ass punk pretty boy can take him. Taz says he'll demonstrate his skills next week to shut him up, and tells him NEVER to come here uninvited again. In the ring, Raven again demands that The Sandman brings him his belt. Sandman comes out and they politely go punch for punch. Strange. But very good stuff. They fight on the floor and a table platform is set up again. He clotheslines Sandman over the top and through it. He brings him back in and holds the title up as he hits the Evenflow. THE BWO THEN COMES OUT! YEAH! Raven is distracted, and Sandman has time to get a beer, and that is his spinach, so he spits it in Raven's face and has regained his strength. He blindly hits Meanie and Nova, but then sees Stevie, and shoves him. AND STEVIE SHOVES RAVEN DOWN! FUCK YEAH! COME ON, GIVE STEVIE THE BELT. Sandman gets up behind them as they argue. STEVIE KICK, BUT TO SANDMAN! It looks planned, BUT STEVIE SPINS RAVEN AROUND AND SAYS THEY'RE NOT DONE YET! Raven jabs him, and they go to fight, but Sandman hits a DDT on Raven. Stevie tries to recruit Sandman maybe, BUT THEN TRIES A SWERVE STEVIE KICK AND HITS RAVEN! YEAH! Stevie doesn't look too mad, and he gives Sandman his BWO t-shirt to recruit him. The BWO leaves and Sandman keeps attacking Raven, because ECW doesn't know when to end things. Raven gets trapped in the ropes and Sandman canes him until he's out. Sandman leaves again with the belt. Raven crawls to the back after the break. In the back, Joey Styles talks about what just happened, but Raven grabs him and yells to go find Sandman and tell him to give him his belt. Tod Gordon tries to calm Raven down and Raven tells him the same thing. Tod says he's beaten everyone, but if he wants the belt back, he has to take it. Raven says he'll take it, and he'll pay. Footage airs of the closing moments of Candido/Louie, which sucks since I was looking forward to that. Candido sits down on a sunset flip to win in 2 out of 14 minutes shown. Candido talks shit and shoves Louie after the match, so Louie attacks again. Shane Douglas and Brian Lee come out to attack Spicolli and he eats the Chokeslam. Brian and Shane then hit a Spike Tombstone. Pitbull #2 comes out to save, AND HEY GUESS WHAT? HE NO SELLS THE CHOKESLAM BECAUSE HE'S THE WORST. SO BAD HE MAKES ME ROOT FOR FUCKING SHANE DOUGLAS TO BREAK HIS NECK TOO. He then runs this new Triple Threat off to end the show. Fuck life. |
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| Big Tuna | May 18 2013, 12:40 AM Post #3 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV January 23rd, 1997 Philadelphia, PA In the ring, Joey Styles introduces the show, but points to the stage. Tommy Dreamer is standing and watching, BUT THE NEW TRIPLE THREAT IS BEHIND HIM AND BRIAN LEE HITS HIM WITH A TRASH CAN! They set up a table and Shane wears out Tommy with the can and hits his shitty somehow neck breaking Divorce Court onto the trash can. Instead of the table, SHANE AND CANDIDO THROW TOMMY OFF THE STAGE INTO THE CROWD! People check on him, and Terry Funk comes out to help. Tommy is stretchered out and Terry tries to go with, BUT TOMMY RICH ATTACKS HIM IN THE BACK! AWESOME! THEY HAVE THE BEST BRAWL ON ECW IN A WHILE! TOMMY RICH SHOVES THE STRETCHER OVER! Coming back, Joey Styles intros the show again, and he brings out Taz! He asks if Joey wants to stir shit up, and says he's not hurt. Bill Alfonso yells that he saw Taz bench 2,000 pounds today, and Taz makes Joey stand in the corner. Taz responds to chants for Sabu by saying they're going to need to be louder, since there's about 90,000 miles between them and Sabu, since he's in Japan, because he's so loyal to ECW. He says Rob Van Dam is also in Japan, that long haired pussy. He tells Paul E to get some balls and draw up a contract for he and Sabu. He says actually, fuck Sabu. He yells at the crowd for repeating him, and says they don't get to criticize him. Weird. FEBRUARY 1ST - ECW ARENA: -TERRY FUNK VS. TOMMY RICH Match #1: The Eliminators [c] vs. D-Von Dudley/Axl Rotten [ECW Tag Team Championship] Taz joins commentary, and says he's displaying his skills here. He puts over The Eliminators all match, and this is a solid showcase for them. Stuff happens, and Axl loses to Total Elimination. ** Before Bubba vs. Pitbull #2, Shane Douglas says he's doubling the bounty on #2's bald head and asks for someone to come and collect. Bubba doesn't want it, so he helps Pitbull #2 fight off The Bad Crew. D-Von and Axl come back out and the Dudleys fight. Bubba hits the Bubba Cutter and Pitbull hits Axl with the Super Fallaway Slam. Shane gets on the apron and says if he can't pay someone to do it, he'll do it himself, but Candido and Brian Lee come from behind and attack them. Bubba eats one Chokeslam, AND PITBULL #2 GETS CHOKESLAMMED OVER THE TOP THROUGH A TABLE! HE TRIES TO NO-SELL IT?! OH MY GOD, FUCK THIS GUY. Shane hits his lame Divorce Court through half of the table, and somehow, THAT puts him down. They pose with the Triple Threat sign, and that makes it official. Pitbull #2 is stretchered out and Joey says it was supposed to be Shane/Tommy for the TV Title, and #2 was then the replacement, but now nobody gets the title shot. Match #2: Terry Funk vs. Brian Lee Terry is bloody from the attack, but he's still here. This is probably the best match of Brian Lee's career, since it's totally a Terry Funk match. Crazy brawling and in Terry fashion, it feels like this insane fight due to the realism of the spots and his amazing punch drunk selling. It goes on a little long though, and is dragging by the time Shane and Candido come out. Lee Chokeslams Funk off the apron through the table. The Triple Threat gets him back in, and Lee covers to win. **3/4 Coming back, Shane Douglas is back out with Francine waiting some kind of a fight for the TV Title. Shane hits the ref too, and says they have a problem finding him a challenger tonight, thanks to the Triple Threat. Some tall guy in a lucha mask comes out and says it's a new year, and his resolution is change the direction of the ECW. In other words, his resolution is to fuck with The Franchise! Shane asks why he's hiding behind a mask and he says because Shane will shit his pants if he does. He says he has someone in the back for him, AND PITBULL #1 RUNS OUT AND CLEANS HOUSE! FUCK YEAH! I DON'T HATE HIM AS MUCH AS PITBULL #2! But then what was up with the random dude in a mask? |
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| Big Tuna | May 18 2013, 05:34 PM Post #4 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV January 30th, 1997 Scranton, PA In the ring, Joey Styles brings out Shane Douglas, and the whole Triple Threat comes out. Shane takes the mic and says if it looks, smells, and grows like a rose, then it's probably a rose, and last week, that man in the mask looked like him, walked like him, talked like him, and acted like him. Therefore, it's gotta be him. I legit didn't know this was Rick Rude until Biggie ruined it for me last night. Thanks. He says he's sat in locker rooms for the last decade and watched and one man kicked ass and rose to the top and took belts better than everyone. OH HOLY SHIT, IT'S RIC FLAIR?! He says he knows who's under the mask and he knows what he's after, and it's not his title. He says he liked to lay his women down in the ring after he kicked asses, and what he wants is something that he can't have, that's all his. He says he'll break his neck if he wants it, but his hands are full right now, and says his men are going to become the next Tag Team Champions, so they're busy. He says they've hired someone to be director of security for Francine, AND IT'S MIKE AWESOME! WHAT?! A video of the new Triple Threat then airs, of course set to "Perfect Strangers" In the back, Terry Funk cuts a promo. He says sometimes it takes a loss to bring your life into focus and to figure out what your goals are. He went back to the locker room and he sat there, and he sat there, and an hour must have gone by, and he didn't even unlace his shoes yet. He thought about Tommy Dreamer, and he's said it before, but nobody tries any harder than that guy right there, and he's always going to try and do a little bit better. He reminds me of someone a long long long time ago, his father. He says his father had one dream, to be the World Heavyweight Champion. But it never happened, because in 1973, his father had a massive heart attack. He and his brother were with him when they went to the hospital, and the Lord took him. It was the saddest day of his life, and still is. Twenty four years later, he's a dreamer too, because he wants to be the World Heavyweight Champion. He says if he can get in the ring with Raven, he can beat him, and he just feels it. Why? He wants to do it for the fans, for all of them old farts to prove that they don't have one foot in the grave. Most of all, to fulfill his father's dreams. He can't guarantee a victory, but he can guarantee that he's not going to give up, ever. In a pretape from the dojo, Taz talks. He says he had rotater cuff surgery in early December, but it's an old injury. He needed to have it done, but he was still running through ECW at 80%. Now he's at 110%, and that's bad news for everyone. He asks Sabu what he thinks the beating's going to be like now. He must thing RVD is going to slow him up, and says nothing stops him. He says he hates RVD and everything he stands for, and says Rob wanted to use a chair instead of wrestling with him. He says he doesn't need a weapon, he IS a weapon. In a pretape, Raven talks in the locker room. He says Stevie has a cult of his own now, a little following. He says he took a man's wife and son for fun, and he took a man's sanity for fun. What does Stevie do for fun? Before he decides to fly the Nest, he should remember that nobody gets out alive. Clips air of Stevie beating Little Guido clean! FUCK YEAH STEVIE! In the back, Joey Styles said Raven has wagered his hair against possession of the title! Match #1: Raven [c] w/ Lori Fullington vs. The Sandman [ECW World Heavyweight Championship - Hair/Title vs. Title Possession] This could have been better, but as a 7 minute long fight before an angle, it was good. Sandman took some nice table bumps, Raven bled, this is Raven/Sandman match. Lori had her shirt ripped off, AND WAS WEARING A BWO SHIRT UNDER IT! Raven got pissed, and the BWO came out! Raven shoved Stevie, but he didn't back down. Sandman grabbed Raven, AND STEVIE HIT A STEVIE KICK TO BOTH OF THEM AT ONCE! RAVEN FALLS ON TOP AND WINS THE TITLE BACK! **1/2 Match #2: Pitbull #2 vs. Brian Lee This is a minute before Shane and Candido come out for a DQ. Thank God. 1/2* Pitbull #2 and Tommy Dreamer run out to save! FUCK YEAH! Pitbull #1's neck gets hurt and The Triple Threat leaves all three down. El Uno Encantador comes into the ring and Shane tells Francine to go into the ring, and that's how the show ends. |
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| Big Tuna | May 19 2013, 12:51 PM Post #5 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ![]() ECW Crossing The Line Again February 1st, 1997 Philadelphia, PA The entire babyface roster is in the ring and the heels on the stage as the show cuts in, and Paul Heyman is on the mic. He announces that the PPV will be on April 13th, AND THE MAIN EVENT WILL BE TAZ VS. SABU! He thanks the fans for the calls and letters and e-mails for making this happen. Match #1: Lance Storm vs. Balls Mahoney LANCE'S RAT TAIL! Balls has a great uppercut and is a solid brawling heel to be a base for young spry Lance for 4-5 minutes. It's so weird to see him as this actually hard hitting and explosive babyface. Lance hits a Spinning Wheel Kick for the win. ** Match #2: Stevie Richards vs. Ricky Morton Stevie has the BWO with him, and Ricky has his fuck ugly girlfriend with him. Joey tries to shit on Ricky Morton and says Philadelphia has always hated him, and he loves Philly for it. Not sure why, since he still looks awesome here. Great punches, awesome selling, pretty much everything that made him great before, just a little bit slower and with an old man's face and body. Probably just because ECW fans hate Southern wrestling, since their brawls are better and that scares ECW fans or something. I don't know. ANYWAYS, THIS RULED. The fans being retards shouldn't be taken out on Stevie, because he's the best thing in ECW at this point. He looks great here too, and they have a nice little match. Stevie Kick ends it. ** Post-match, they give the slut a BWO shirt. Match #3: Steve Williams vs. Axl Rotten Axl will die in a squash, and Doc will kill a man, so this was a great fit. It's only like 2 minutes, so it's not as great as might otherwise be, but hey. Doc wins with the Backdrop Driver. *3/4 We cut right to Joey Styles in the ring with Raven and Doc, and Raven says if he wants the belt, he can take it. Wait, what? This better be covered on TV, because this could rule with more shown. DOC TACKLES RAVEN, AND IT'S ON! Match #4: Raven [c] vs. Steve Williams [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] This could have been great. They have a wonderful brawl on the floor to start. The crowd chants "USA!" again proving they're the smartest and best. Everything Doc does is incredibly frenzied and insane, and Doc's just the best. Raven finally gets a move in with a Superplex, but then the BWO comes out. Lori and Tyler are with them in BWO shirts, and Stevie gets in. Raven shoves him, so Stevie shoves him back. Doc Lariats Raven, AND STEVIE HITS DOC WITH THE STEVIE KICK! HE GETS RIGHT UP INTO ANOTHER! Doc gets up slower, and ducks a third. Stevie ducks a punch, AND HITS A THIRD STEVIE KICK! RAVEN THROWS STEVIE OUT, AND HITS THE EVENFLOW TO WIN! The BWO stuff really slowed this down, and one Stevie Kick would have been amazing to put it over as helping stop Doc. Biggie's review says this is Doc's first American loss in 10 years, and doing it like this DOES help Raven and Stevie, but not as much as if it was booked better. Would have liked a little more from the match before it broke down too. Felt like they just did the same idea as Raven/Gordy, but that was a once in a lifetime perfect moment in time kind of deal. **3/4 Match #5: The Sandman vs. D-Von Dudley Fun little match for what it was. And that is mostly a Sandman squash, but D-Von's bumps are good and Sandman has some good looking stuff. Hot crowd helps. Sandman wins with a Flying Legdrop with a chair over D-Von's face. ** Joel Gertner gets in and says D-Von is the winner on points, so he gets caned. D-Von then attacks Sandman with the cane, BUT BUBBA AND SPIKE COME OUT, AND BUBBA HAS A CHAIR! BUT BUBBA HITS SANDMAN WITH IT?! FINALLY! FUCK YEAH! I don't even care that this probably should have been done a few months ago, because it's finally here. Spike doesn't like it, SO SPIKE IT THE FIRST ONE TO EAT A 3D! Sandman tries to fight back, BUT THEY HIT SANDMAN WITH THE 3D TOO! THE GANGSTAS COME OUT! They have a wonderful brawl to "Natural Born Killaz" as always, BUT THE DUDLEYS GET THE BEST OF IT, AND BOTH NEW JACK AND MUSTAFA ALSO GO DOWN TO THE 3D! FUCK YEAH! FINALLY! Match #6: The Eliminators [c] vs. Sabu/Rob Van Dam [ECW Tag Team Championship] This is not nearly as good as N2R. Sort of all over the place, doing spots just to do them, kind of sloppy. Sabu and Saturn are good, but RVD doesn't look good at all, and Kronus is sloppy. Really clunky and disappointing match, all things considered. Sabu misfires and hits RVD, and RVD loses to the TOTAL ELIMINATION~! **1/4 Taz comes out as The Eliminators keep the attack on, and Taz completely obliterates Van Dam's face with a chair. The Eliminators hold Sabu back, AND TAZ CHOKES OUT SABU! TAZ DARES SABU TO SAVE HIS FRIEND! He lets go, and gets chair. He goes to hit Sabu, but he stops and he says he's going to make him wait for it. He spits on Sabu and says he's saving it. Sabu tries to go after him, but he also gets hit with Total Elimination. I guess The Eliminators are heels again. Okay. Match #7: Terry Funk vs. Tommy Rich FUCK YEAH! Tommy Rich is embarrassingly out of shape, but he can still punch really well and bleed, and that's all he needs against Terry, really. Terry sells his leg awesomely after Rich targets it again, and then has some great revenge chair shits to the ankle when he comes back. They do some more stuff, and Funk hits a DDT on the chair for the win. **1/4 Before the main event, The Triple Threat introduces a new valet for the night to watch their and Francine's backs, CLOUDY! No, not one-half of wonderful late 2000s underdog babyface tag team Up in Smoke, even though he'd be like 10 at the time. It's the tranny that The Bodydonnas replaced Sunny with. Glad they kept in contact. Match #8: Tommy Dreamer/The Pitbulls vs. Shane Douglas/Chris Candido/Brian Lee Beulah, Francine, and Cloudy are on the floor. This was one of those retarded matches that began as a brawl before turning into a normal tag, and you're like, "Hey wait, they were allowed to just brawl before. Why not do that now?" I hate hate hate hate haaaaaaaaaaaate the selective use of rules in ECW. Do it or don't. Beulah fights the tranny to the back. This goes on way too long, or maybe it's just the shitty shitty layout, and failure of the faces to do a good hot tag. Shane and Candido do HORRIBLE looking Rude Awakenings, but it's for the angle. El Uno Encantador comes out and says they don't know how to do it, but someone in the ring does. Pitbull #1 hits them with Rude Awakenings. Then they put Shane on a table, and Pitbull #2 Superbombs #1 onto Shane for the win. *3/4 Both Shane and #1 are hurt, AND HEY NO SHIT, YOU SUPERBOMBED A DUDE WITH A BROKEN NECK THROUGH A TABLE. MIGHT BE WORSE THAN SHAKING THE HALO, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED! There's only one stretcher, I guess, and T3 wants Shane to go on it, but Pitbull #1 ends up being stretchered out. Okay then. Not a great show. |
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| Big Tuna | May 22 2013, 09:16 PM Post #6 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV February 6th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA The announcement of Taz/Sabu airs to open the show. An awesome video to hype up the match then airs, set to "King Nothing" by Metallica. At the end, Joey Styles says this PPV on 4/13 will be so extreme that it's Barely Legal. In a pretape, The Triple Threat cuts a promo. Shane says in order to attain legendary status, you have to leave your mark. The Super Bowl, the World Series, you need to win those. He says to leave your mark in wrestling, you have to do something. You have a title, Shane, put that over. No? Okay. He just talks about what they've done to The Pitbulls and Tommy Dreamer, and says they left their mark the first time. He says the Triple Threat will always be talked about when they talk about the greatest stables of all time. Candido said Pitbull #1 came back and tried to break The Franchise's neck, and said nobody cared about him when his neck was broke or cried for him, and Shane calms him down. Shane says they've warned and threatened them, and now no more Mr. Nice Guys. Stevie vs. Morton airs. In the back, Shane Douglas cuts ANOTHER promo. God damnit. He says everyone complains about what he did to Gary Wolfe, but asks what about what happened to him. He said he ruined his reputation, because he used to be known for telling the truth, but now he's the guy that broke Pitbull #1's neck. Didn't matter that moments before, he drove a sweet 117 pound woman through a table, and he doesn't hear Joey Styles yelling about that. It's all about the broken neck, and said he attacked him with a halo around his neck, and he protected himself. He said he's got a score to settle to, and he can't wait for him to be carted out again. And if he's lucky, he'll be in the chair permanently, and he'll have a friend in Christopher Reeves. Steve Williams vs. Axl Rotten airs. Then Raven vs. Steve Williams. CYBERSLAM 1997 - 2/22 IN PHILADELPHIA! JOIN CLUB ECW! The Sandman vs. D-Von Dudley then airs, along with the formation of The Dudley Boyz. |
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| Big Tuna | May 25 2013, 05:01 PM Post #7 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV February 13th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA A career retrospective on Tommy Dreamer airs, and says on April 13th, 1997, you can't imagine how extreme he's going to be. The caning angle from 1994, Piledriver to Beulah, and Chair Shot Heard Round The World, hitting Raven with a stop sign, High Incident scaffold match ending, all air, set to "Man in the Box". In the back, Joey Styles hypes up Barely Legal and says everyone wants to be World Champion going into Barely Legal and talks about Raven's huge win over Steve Williams and credits a lot of it to the Stevie Kick. Terry Funk vs. Tommy Rich airs. In the back, Terry Funk cuts a promo. He says he wants to tell them about Freckles Brown, somebody most people don't remember, because he was a bull rider. He says he was past his prime, had bad shoulders and knees, but in 1967, he got to the national finals, and he drew a bull named Tornado. He crawled on and Tornado had thrown a lot of good cowboys off, but he rode him for eight seconds until the buzzer rang. They asked Freckles how he did it, and he said every dog has his day. That's how he feels. He says he wants his day with the ECW World Champion, Raven. He says if he can get that match and beat him, he can give his family a memory, his two daughters, his wife, his father, even if he's not here any longer. He says this dog's going to have his day. In a pretape, The Dudley Boyz are in the ghetto. Bubba says they've been looking all over town for The Gangstas, and they couldn't find them. D-Von says to testify, and Bubba says they couldn't find them on the east or west or north side, but they can't afford the North Side. D-Von says they can't be found, so Bubba says they went to the south side, but they're still cowards. D-Von says Bubba's been healed, but The Gangstas won't be when The Dudley Boyz find them. CYBER SLAM 97 - 2/22: -SHANE DOUGLAS VS. PITBULL #1 FOR THE TV TITLE -THE GANGSTAS VS. THE DUDLEY BOYZ -TAZ VS. LANCE STORM -SABU VS. CHRIS CANDIDO Lance Storm vs. Balls Mahoney airs. In the back, Raven cuts a promo from the basement. He says if Terry Funk is going to bore them with war stories, he should have the decency to buy them all another round. He says fate is a vicious nasty little thing that can drive a family apart or a man insane, for no particular reason. And if fate puts them together, every dog will not have its day, He says he wishes his dad would have died like Terry's, because he would have had a much happier childhood. He says nobody can beat him, not even him. Quote the Raven, nevermore. The Eliminators vs. Rob Van Dam & Sabu airs. |
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| Big Tuna | May 25 2013, 07:56 PM Post #8 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Fan Cam February 7th, 1997 Downington, PA Match #1: Louie Spicolli/Chris Chetti vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney So this is the debut of Chetti in ECW and the Balls/Axl team, so I GUESS this is important. This is a decent opening tag. You're not getting anything complicated, but Axl and Balls both work well with Louie. Chetti is clearly incredibly green, so he sucks, but the other three are good. Axl hits the Dominator on Chetti to win. *3/4 Match #2: Little Guido vs. Cody Michaels This is a good showcase for Guido. Cody is a dude who does wrestling moves, but Guido's mannerisms and heeling are wonderful. Of course, they try to work a wrestling match, so the crowd responds with "BORING" and "WE WANT BLOOD" chants, because ECW fans are the worst. Guido gets a fancy Victory Roll to win. ** Match #3: Spike Dudley vs. Corp. Punishment This happens. Corp controls with basic shit until Spike makes his awesome fiery comeback. Spike wins with a Flying Bulldog. *1/2 Match #4: The Gangstas vs. The Bad Crew Solid house show squash. Usual crazy brawling and violent energy behind The Gangstas as always. New Jack beats one of them with the 187. *3/4 Match #5: Raven [c] vs. Rob Van Dam [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] Not great, since Raven is very much a big stage performer, but it's the first real match of the show, and they have some cool stuff. Again, RVD has to fit into Raven's match, and doesn't do a great job. It's like a lesser Raven/Scorpio. Some cool spots though and Raven gets a NASTY shot into the post and is busted open bad. During the crowd brawl, you get Gabe behind the camera yelling in his nasal voice for people to move, and it's hilarious. Eventually, the BWO comes out for the usual Stevie/Raven spot, and RVD eats the accidental Stevie Kick. Raven then hits the Evenflow to win. **1/2 Match #6: Sabu vs. Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Sign Guy Dudley Decent short match. Bubba got in a lot using his power, but he ultimately couldn't handle Sabu. Good elevation in defeat type match. Sabu wins in like 6 minutes with the Triple Jump Moonsault. ** D-Von Dudley comes in to attack Sabu after the match, but Rob Van Dam runs out to save, and they clean house. Sabu dives on the Dudleyz, BUT TAZ COMES FROM THE BACK AND HITS A GERMAN SUPLEX! TAZ PUTS ON THE TAZMISSION! YEAH! Sabu comes to save with a chair and holds it overhead, BUT D-VON JUST PULLS HIM BACK TO SAVE TAZ! Taz screams a lot, but the sound quality is horrible, and The Dudleys hold Sabu for Taz to taunt. Match #7: Tommy Dreamer vs. D-Von Dudley [Falls Count Anywhere] Beulah and Sign Guy are both on the floor. Decent house show weapons brawl, but also really short. It's like 7 minutes and 3-4 of that is a generic crowd brawl. They do some stuff with chairs, and then Tommy hits a DDT on a chair for the win. ** Joel Gertner announces Bubba as the winner on points, so Tommy goes after him. Sign Guy saves, along with Bubba Ray Dudley. They hit Tommy with the 3D, and the Sandman runs out for revenge, but he is also given the 3D. The Gangstas run out and they have another brawl with the Dudley Boyz, but Bubba and D-Von lay them out with chair shots, and they leave. The Sandman is stretchered out. Shane Douglas says something before the main event, but again, sound quality is horrible. Match #8: The Eliminators [c] vs. The Pitbulls vs. Shane Douglas/Brian Lee w/ Francine [ECW Tag Team Championship - Three Way Dance] This starts as a fun Pitbulls/T3 brawl before the champions come out, carried by Shane and Brian almost entirely. Then it lasted like another 20 minutes and they clearly only had like 5 minutes of good stuff between the six of them. I pretty much blame The Pitbulls entirely considering the worst stuff is their awful brawling and no-selling. The Masked Man comes out to distract Shane, and #1 schoolboys him to eliminate him. Masked Man carries Francine to the back, and Total Elimination finally beats #2. So disappointing. *1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | May 25 2013, 11:38 PM Post #9 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Fan Cam February 14th, 1997 Webster, MA Match #1: Taz w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Scott Taylor Great Taz showcase. Stretches out Scotty 2 Hotty, dumps him on his head a few times, and then wins with the Tazmission. ** Match #2: Little Guido vs. Chris Chetti This happened. Guido tries his best to carry the kid, but Chetti's offense is all as horrible as you'd expect from someone seemingly brand new. Guido wins with another fancy roll up. Dude needs a finish bad. *1/2 Match #3: Axl Rotten vs. Spike Dudley This rules for 3 minutes. Spike bumps everywhere and has a brief awesome comeback. He hits the Tornado Bulldog out of the corner, but Sign Guy Dudley distracts the referee. Bubba Ray Dudley runs in, and hits a pop up Bubba Cutter, before rolling Axl on top for the win. *3/4 Match #4: Beef Wellington vs. Lenny Lane WHAT THE FUCK?! LENNY LANE IN ECW. WAT. Beef beats the shit out of him, so that's fun. Lane has one of the worst flip dives I've ever seen, and they go back to Beef chopping the fuck out of Lane. Beef puts on a Heel Hook for the win. *3/4 Match #5: The Great Sasuke/Gran Hamada/Gran Naniwa vs. Dick Togo/TAKA Michinoku/Men's Teioh This is pretty obviously MOTN. These dudes have a formula down by now, and it's crazy that this is them taking it easy. Insanely fast pace, cool spots, great basic tag formula, etc. This is merely an appetizer house show version though, and I imagine the true MOTY comes at the PPV. Lots of great KDX double and triple teams. TAKA does his insane dive at the end, and Togo beats Naniwa with DAT BACK SENTON. *** The BWO comes out, and Stevie says this isn't ECW country, this is BWO Country, because they've TAKEN over! He says one person would make the BWO complete, AND TOMMY AND BEULAH COME OUT?! WHOA. Stevie says they've had their differences, but he can recognize a great wrestler, and offers him his BWO half-shirt. He says no, and Stevie says this is no trap or joke, and he's dead serious, he would like to make him an honorary BWO member. Beulah puts the shirt on over her shirt, AND RAVEN COMES FROM BEHIND TO HIT TOMMY WITH THE BELT! She yells at Stevie, and STEVIE CALLS RAVEN A JERK! HOLY SHIT! Stevie says it wasn't a trap, and Raven shoves him, BUT TOMMY ROLLS HIM UP AND WE HAVE A MATCH! Match #6: Tommy Dreamer/The Sandman vs. Raven/Stevie Richards[/b] This is all angle, but oh my god, it was AMAZING. Tommy and Sandman beat Raven all around ringside for a few minutes, and when they get in, STEVIE IS SITTING ON THE TOP ROPE REFUSING TO HELP! YEAH! Tommy holds Raven up for Stevie, and he winds up, BUT RAVEN MOVES AND TOMMY EATS THE STEVIE KICK! SANDMAN CANES RAVEN, AND STEVIE KICKS SANDMAN TOO! Stevie throws his arm up and leaves with the BWO, and the three slowly get up. Raven gets a double low blow, but they drop him out of a Double Evenflow try. TOMMY HITS THE DDT ON THE TITLE, BUT SANDMAN FALLS ON TOP BEFORE TOMMY CAN COVER, AND IT'S A THREE! TOMMY IS HAPPY THEY WON, BUT SO FUCKING PISSED, BECAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN IT! This was like 4 minutes, but the rating is one of sheer enjoyment. **1/4 Raven crawls away with the title. Match #7: Sabu vs. D-Von Dudley w/ Sign Guy Dudley This is the debut of Sign Guy's tie-dye suit. This is also one of those "Sabu wrestles" matches, so it's not very good. He gets the chair at the final minute or two, and then wins with the Triple Jump Moonsault. House Show Sabu might be worse than House Show Raven in 1997. *3/4 Match #8: Tommy Dreamer w/ Beulah vs. Tommy Rich Fun, but hardly great. Rich does his basic stuff well, and gets a ton of heat. Tommy has a good comeback, and yeah. That's basically the match, since it's 5 minutes. Tommy Rich tries to use Beulah as a shield, but she kicks him in the dick, and Tommy hits a DDT on the chair to win. ** Bubba vs. Spicolli is supposed to happen, but Bubba jumps Louie before the bell. D-Von comes out to help, but Spike Dudley tries to save. They brawl, and it's actually really good, even though it's mostly The Dudley Boyz hitting Louie and Spike with hard metal things. Louie gets hit with the Bubba Cutter, and The Dudley Boyz decide to leave after yelling "FUCK YOU" at the crowd. Shane Douglas comes out on crutches with the rest of the Triple Threat for an advertised match with one of the Pitbulls. Shane gets on the mic and says he's obviously hurt, and being the fair and square people that the Triple Threat are, they will pick someone from a hat to make sure Pitbull #1 has a match, and they draw Rob Van Dam, so he comes out. Pitbull #1 also comes out, but has to be held back from going after Shane. Rob gets on the mic and says he doesn't want to fight Gary Wolfe because someone else is scared, and he said he'd rather fight him than fight his battles. Pitbull #1 gets the mic and says he knows Shane is a pussy, but asks if Rob is a pussy too. Candido yells that they have to fight now. Rob says he's right and asks Pitbull #1 to hold his chair for a second, because he wants to tell Shane something. Pitbull #1 holds it like a moron, AND RVD HITS THE VAN DAMINATOR! Match #9: Rob Van Dam vs. Pitbull #1 Fun match. Triple Threat stays at ringside to watch, and RVD does cool spots. This is only like 5 minutes, not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Pitbull #2 comes out to stop interference, but is taken out. Pitbull #1 leans out to grab Brian Lee, but Shane hits him with his crutch, and RVD covers to win. *3/4 Triple Threat celebrates in the ring as The Pitbulls get helped away, and The Eliminators come out with Killer Kowalski in their corner for the main event. Match #10: The Eliminators [c] vs. Chris Candido/Brian Lee [ECW Tag Team Championship] Kowalski, Shane, and Francine are on the floor. This was great early on, but kind of dragged in the middle and the end. Disappointing. They had a nice formula tag going wih Kronus hurt on the floor and then it broke down because not doing that confuses either Brian Lee or ECW fans and became a brawl that wasn't that good. Kowalski almost gets Chokeslammed, but Saturn throws Brian Lee over the top and through a table. Candido is taken out, and Lee then loses to the Total Elimination. Very disappointing. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | May 26 2013, 01:18 AM Post #10 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV February 20th, 1997 Revere, MA In the stairway, Raven cuts a promo and says Tommy Dreamer has never pinned him. He says they made a big deal of Tommy's career, but there was no footage of him beating him, because he never has, and he never will. He says it will NEVER be his time, just as it will never be for his hero, his mentor. That five and dime cartoon legend Terry Funk. He says all the young wrestlers point and laugh at him, because he's a has been and he's washed up. He says he's old enough to be his father, and he hates his father, and he's going to beat him like that abusive bastard did when he was a child. He says hurting him isn't enough, he wants to end him, his career, and his life. He says he's going to take it all out on Terry Funk, the beatings, the abuse, the molestation, all the ball games he never got to go to. He says Tyler's childhood has also improved since he left his father. He says he took his son, his wife, his belt back, and Sandman doesn't have the guts, balls, or fortitude to take any of it back. He says he's taking his title to the grave, but the BWO has his family now. He says Stevie is just like everyone else, he's deserted him too. He decided it was time to become a man and to fly the Nest. He says he'll give him one last chance, and almost everything will be forgiven. He stands up and says he's had enough of all of them, of everyone, and says not to incur the wrath of Raven. Quote HIM, nevermore. This went on FOREVER, but I love love love LOVE the idea that Raven gets more confident once he's finally all alone and that his new hubris will kill him. An brief Raven tribute video airs, obviously set to "Come Out and Play". ADDED TO CYBERSLAM: -DREAMER/FUNK VS. RAVEN/BRIAN LEE -IF FUNK PINS RAVEN, HE GETS THE TITLE SHOT AT "BARELY LEGAL" Match #1: The Sandman vs. D-Von Dudley w/ Sign Guy Dudley Fun brawl, lots of punches and throwing each other into other stuff. Not great, but the ending is amazing. They use a ladder for some stuff, and Sandman climbs up, AND GRABS ONTO THE CEILING AND HITS A FLYING LEGDROP FROM THE CEILING FOR THE WIN! **1/4 Bubba attacks post-match, and they lay out The Sandman with the 3D. From satellite in Japan, Sasuke, Naniwa, and Hamada say stuff. Sasuke says ECW is number one, and so is Michinoku Pro, displaying his famous speeches that got him elected to the legislative branch. Clips then air of the match in Webster, because the rematch will be at Barely Legal! Taz vs. Scott Taylor airs. Live from Japan. I have no words. I'll just steal the picture from Biggie. It's the greatest. ![]() KDX AND BWO. LIFE COMPLETED. They put on BWO shirts to become BWO Japan. Stevie yells to buy the shirt. NO REMORSE. PULP FICTION: -Shane Douglas says 16 pounds of gold on his shoulder says he's the best wrestler on TV in the world, and says Terry Funk can do it his way, the ECW way, but The Franchise will do it his way. Francine says he does it so good, and they kiss. -Brian Lee says he's a Bulldozer for hire. PAY ME, BITCH. He says to show him the money, and he'll take somebody's ass out. -Shane says he broke Gary Wolfe's neck for fun, and now he's stupid enough to come after his title -Candido says Sabu's always been jealous of him and his talent and his girl at home, even before his scars, because he knew him then. He says he doesn't care about his scars or his pointing or his symbols, and throws up the three fingers, and says this is the only one that matters. He says Sabu is looking past him, but he's stupid for doing it, because he's not getting past him. The show ends with another Sabu/Taz house show incident. They were held apart by the locker room after an RVD/Mikey match. The Eliminators got Taz to leave, so Sabu went for a dive. Taz moved, and Sabu took out Saturn and Kronus. Taz backed up to the curtain and stared down Sabu, as people held Sabu back from going after him. Good stuff. |
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| Big Tuna | May 28 2013, 06:09 PM Post #11 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ![]() ECW CyberSlam '97 February 22nd, 1997 Philadelphia, PA Match #1: The Eliminators [c] vs. Sabu/Rob Van Dam [ECW Tag Team Championship] They say tables and ladders are legal, but it's ECW, everything is legal. This was also all over the place, in terms of randomly becoming a normal tag for moments, and then going back to crazy spots. Lots of botching too, from everyone but Saturn. This is such a disappointing rivalry after N2R. It goes like 20 minutes, and that is insane. This has a new favorite botch of mine. RVD tried a Split Legged Moonsault onto a ladder on the corner ropes, but he put it on the middle one, so he just kind of fell back head-first into Saturn's dick because he had no distance. RVD gets beat after two Total Eliminations in a row. THANK GOD, PLEASE NEVER RUN THIS AGAIN. ** Sabu shakes their hands, but RVD refuses to. Rob leaves, and Sabu raises Saturn and Kronus' hands. Glad they're cool after them helping Taz fuck with him the last few months. In the ring, Joey Styles has the mic and he brings out The Pitbulls. NINETEEN SIXTY FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. Joey asks about Gary's neck, and he says he's ready to kick some serious Franchise ass. He tells him to stop being a Shawn Michaels and face him, and Shane Douglas gets the mic from the stage, where he is with Francine and on crutches. He says to kiss his ass and says he doesn't care about Raw or ECW or Paul's game, and he cares about them running their mouths and beating their chests. He says they don't have to wait for a PPV and says to never compare him to a faggot like Shawn Michaels. That's fair, I'd be mad too. He challenges them both to come up here and fight, and they do, and are jumped obviously by Candido and Lee. #2 is Chokeslammed through a table on the stage and Shane yells to break his neck. They just kind of keep beating on them before the static cut. Little Guido comes out with Tommy Rich, and Rich gets on the mic. He says he found out that his grand dad lived in Philly and worked for the Mafia, but he left to Nashville. He says the family called him and told him Guido needed some help, so here he is. FUCK YEAH! He demands the crowd cheers Guido, because he'll be a champion some day, and calls someone in the crowd queer bait. Match #2: Little Guido w/ Tommy Rich vs. Chris Chetti This is a match that happens. House show one was actually slightly better, which is unusual. Rich demands Guido comes off the top at the end, and he misses, so that useless faggot Chetti wins with a roll up. *1/2 Match #3: Stevie Richards w/ BWO vs. Balls Mahoney The crowd demands Meanie shows his tits. Weird. Decent undercard match, just too long. Stevie has good work on the arm, and Balls is a great puncher yet again. Didn't need 12 minutes, but Stevie gets a low blow and wins with the Stevie Kick, so all's well that ends well. *3/4 Stevie strips after the match, and a fake groupie comes in to try and grope him before she is taken away. Amazing. Match #4: Axl Rotten vs. Spike Dudley This also got under 5 minutes, but Spike didn't feel like dying tonight, I guess, so they just did some punches until The Dudley Boyz came out to interfere. This time, Spike knocks them off the apron, but Axl hits the Dominator for the win. *3/4 Post-match, they hit Spike with the 3D, and The Gangstas come out to start that match. Match #5: The Gangstas vs. The Dudley Boyz w/ Sign Guy Dudley & Axl Rotten This is a Gangstas match. It doesn't need 15 minutes, but it was generally very good. New Jack does his first insane dive from the Eagle's Nest, and BARELY makes D-Von, not breaking the table. Goes on too long by the end, especially after the stage dive, and New Jack is beaten with the 3D. TOTALLY CLEAN. WHOA. ** Match #6: Taz w/ Team Taz vs. Tracy Smothers Really good 3 minute Taz showcase. Tracy took some big bumps, and it's the usual Taz squash formula before he puts on the Tazmission to win. ** Before the tag match, Raven gets on the mic. He says in the two years he's been in ECW, Tommy Dreamer has NEVER pinned him, and says divine providence is smiling upon him tonight, because he's going to let him. He lays on his back and says to pin him, IF HE WANTS TO COST HIS MENTOR A WORLD TITLE SHOT. He yells that he doesn't have the balls, so Tommy attacks him on the mat. Match #7: Raven/Brian Lee vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk w/ Beulah [If Funk Pins Raven, He Gets a ECW Title Shot] Tommy is a retard early on and even when he DDTs Raven, he refuses to pin and tags in Terry. They immediately go into the aimless brawling and Tommy/Lee is beyond old. Terry vs. Raven was pretty great though. Brian murders Terry with like 20 trash can shots, leading to some incredible selling by Terry, putting over his lost equilibrium. He can't stand and Tommy and medics try to get him to stay down. They finally stretcher him out with Tommy. STEVIE COMES OUT WITH LORI AND TYLER! YEAH! Raven hits Stevie and dares him to do it back, BUT BRIAN LEE CHOKESLAMS STEVIE! NO! Raven gives him the garbage can, and Lori comes in to try and stop it. She slaps Raven finally AND RAVEN HITS THE EVENFLOW! Tyler runs to the back, and brings someone with him, but it's only Tommy. He is also Chokeslammed, so SANDMAN COMES OUT WITH TYLER! AWESOME! He canes Brian Lee and then Raven, and DDTs Raven to somehow win. This wasn't a good match, but the angle ruled. **1/4 Sandman and Tyler hug post-match. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw. Tommy and Stevie both get up in the ring, and Tommy offers his hand to help Stevie Richards up. He does, and they shake hands in the ring. FUCK YEAH! Before the main event, Candido gets on the mic, and says he's mad at Sabu for looking past him to April 13th on PPV against Taz, and says he's nothing more than a furniture breaking asshole and he says tables don't fight back, but he does, and Sabu can't wrestle his way out of a paper bag. Match #9: Sabu vs. Chris Candido This is the classic ECW strategy of making a guy into an upper-mid card player with a strong loss to Sabu. Candido comes off like a guy with a plan, and he gradually forces Sabu into a wrestling match where he can dominate. I hate that the fucking Piledriver is like a mid-match move in this, but otherwise, I loved it. Sabu tries to turn it hardcore, but he goes for too much too soon, and it costs him when he misses a dive through a table. Sabu has to do new stuff to come back, so that's cool. This should have ended maybe a minute or two before it did, but I have lower standards for ECW, so this was good enough to be great, if that makes sense. Sabu wins with a Triple Jump Legdrop. *** Post-match, Candido shakes Sabu's hand and says he's the damn king, and he raises his hand. |
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| Big Tuna | May 28 2013, 06:36 PM Post #12 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV February 27th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA The Pitbulls/Triple Threat segment opens the show. In the back, Joey Styles announces an "I Quit" match on March 15th between Shane and Pitbull #1. Eliminators vs. RVD & Sabu then airs. Taz vs. Tracy Smothers airs. In the back, Chris Candido cuts a promo. He says he used to admire Terry Funk as a kid, and he thought he was the greatest of all time, but he's still hearing about him and his lifetime, and how he wants to talk about his daddy and how he wants to be the World Champion again and some ass named Freckles Brown. He says he was the NWA Champion too, and asks where his banquet is. He says he would do all that hardcore stuff, but he just doesn't want to, because he's a hardcore legend, but that's a gimmick, and he doesn't need it. The pre-match for Raven/Lee vs. Terry/Dreamer airs, and the first minutes. THE REST, NEXT WEEK. |
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| Big Tuna | May 28 2013, 07:08 PM Post #13 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV - SIMON'S SEVENTH BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA March 6th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA The rest of Raven/Brian Lee vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk airs to open the show. Joey Styles talks about it in the back like it's the end of Terry Funk's comeback. ECW BARELY LEGAL: APRIL 13TH! TAZ VS. SABU! Little Guido vs. Chris Chetti airs. In the back, Raven cuts a promo sitting against the lockers. He says Terry Funk wasn't man enough to finish the match, and he beat him down while Tommy Dreamer cried. He says Tommy had to watch his hero, the Hardcore Legend, go down, and he didn't have the guts to finish the match. Something about his ear, bleeding from his ear. BUT TERRY FUNK WALKS OVER AND SAYS TO TALK TO HIM RIGHT NOW AND TO STAND UP! Raven says if he stands up, he won't be in any condition to see him wrestle SOMEONE ELSE on April 13th, and he wants him alive and miserable for that. Terry says he's tired of his bullshit and his idiot, Brian Lee, yelling to show him the money. Terry says he has a concussion, BUT IT ISN'T HIS FIRST DAMN RODEO AND IT WON'T BE HIS LAST! He yells at him to stand up, and Raven says he won't get up, and Terry says he doesn't have the guts, then he'll come down. Terry gets down in his face and said he's said a lot of stuff and having these long stories, and he says he's not lecturing him, and calls him a fool, and says he'll slap him right now if he wants to. He says he LOVED his father, and he can't help if his dad was an idiot. He says to watch his damn mouth and watch what he tries. Raven says nothing and Terry says to say something now. He says he doesn't have the balls to say anything to him now, and if he gets him in the ring, he's going to beat the shit out of him. The Dudley Boyz vs. The Gangstas airs. |
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| Big Tuna | May 29 2013, 07:59 PM Post #14 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV March 13th, 1997 Scranton, PA In the ring, Joey Styles brings out the Blue World Order! Another groupie tries to get to Stevie, so he makes out with her before she is taken away. Stevie says the BWO has a big announcement for all these BWOites AND SAYS STEVIE RICHARDS IS THROWING HIS NAME IN THE HAT FOR A WORLD TITLE SHOT! YES! He says if he is given the shot, then on April 14th, there will be a new World Heavyweight Champion. Blue Guy calls Raven "depressed mang", and says nobody can beat the BWO, mang. Raven comes down and slaps Meanie and says not to ever take sides against him, and he hits the Evenflow! NOVA GETS ONE TOO! YEAH! Stevie gets ready to fight, but Raven says they haven't even begun. A clipped 90 seconds airs of what was probably an amazing Taz squash of Spike Dudley. Clips then air of Tommy Rich vs. Chris Chetti, and Little Guido is taking notes on the floor. Guido interferes to give Tommy Rich the win. Clips air of ANOTHER FUCKING ELIMS/SABU & RVD MATCH. NO. BAD ECW. They use a ladder and do spots, and it's nothing you haven't seen in the 70 other minutes that this match has occurred in the last four months. Clips air of Lance Storm beating Axl Rotten. OH MY GOD FUCK YOU. SHOW A MATCH. The Dudley Boyz come out after the match to attack Lance Storm as part of the weird alliance with Axl Rotten. The Gangstas then came out for another entertaining brawl. Bubba and D-Von beat them down again, and Axl gets on the mic and thanks them and calls them the next Tag Team Champions and the best tag team in the world. This brings out The Eliminators and Lance Storm fights back as The Eliminators fight Bubba and D-Von. The Eliminators run The Dudley Boyz from the ring, and hit Axl with Total Elimination. The Gangstas and Dudley Boyz then brawl to the back. MARCH 15TH - ECW ARENA - HOSTILE CITY SHOWDOWN '97: -SHANE VS. PITBULL #1 IN AN "I QUIT" MATCH -This is apparently the only advertised match BUY THE BARELY LEGAL T-SHIRT! Footage airs from a house show in Trenton, NJ. After beating Spike Dudley, Taz put him on a table on the floor and buried him in the Team Taz flag, before getting back into the ring. He says stuff, but Joey won't stop fucking talking over Taz, so I don't know what he's trying to say. Taz says that's his kill on the table, BUT SABU RUNS IN AND HITS A FLIP DIVE TO SPIKE THROUGH THE TABLE BEFORE TAZ CAN DO IT! THEY GET CLOSER THEN EVER BEFORE BARELY BEING PULLED APART! MORE FOR 3/15: -THE ELIMINATORS VS. THE DUDLEY BOYZ FOR THE TAG TITLES -TAZ VS. ROB VAN DAM -TOMMY DREAMER/STEVIE RICHARDS VS. RAVEN & A RANDOMLY DRAWN PARTNER PULP FICTION: -From the ghetto, Joel Gertner introduces The Dudley Boyz. He says he has a $100 bill taped to his forehead to dare anyone in this neighborhood to try him, but nobody will, because he has the team that mopped the floor with the Gangstas. Bubba says at the ECW Arena, they had a great hold for hold match, and says Pat O'Connor and Lou Thesz would be proud. Bubba says they have more important things on their mind now, like the Tag Team Titles, the ones The Gangstas USED TO have. Testify. -The Eliminators say Vince McMahon calls this a bingo hall and Eric Bischoff asks where the lights ans scenery are, but the ECW Arena is home, because there's nothing to concentrate on but the wrestling. Saturn says this is their home and nobody comes into their home and takes what's there's, and only one thing is waiting for them. Not the titles, but Total Elimination. -Tommy Rich says he and Guido are going to get the best Sicilian food in the world at Domino's -Francine says the only words Gary needs to know are "I Quit" -Pitbull #1 says the chase is over and they've slapped this pitbull in the face for the last time -Rob Van Dam says Taz is at blame for his own shoulder injury, and so is Paul for putting a fragile little man like Taz in the ring with a man like him -Brian Lee says he grew up, like everyone else, idolizing Terry Funk and he was taught to respect him. And it's going to be his pleasure to end his career, because someone showed him the money. BITCH. -The end of the Funk/Raven segment last week airs -Tommy Dreamer says Terry is a hardcore legend, and it's his honor to stand in his corner. He's back to trying to be Raven. Match #1: Chris Candido w/ The Triple Threat vs. Louie Spicolli Hey, a match! This is very good. Awesome actual wrestling and then Candido got the absolute best out of Louie. I wish they'd played with the three people on the floor more instead of doing like one interference spot in a back and forth exhibition style match, but it was still really good. Lots of impressive fast stuff, and Candido wins with an inside cradle. **3/4 Candido slaps him, so he attacks. The Triple Threat gets in, and Louie is Chokeslammed, but The Pitbulls run out. PITBULL #2 NO SELLING CHOKESLAMS AND SHIT. THE WORST. Pitbull #1 puts the Full Nelson on Shane and had to be pried off by referees. |
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| Big Tuna | May 30 2013, 12:29 AM Post #15 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 12/20/1996 ECW Hardcore TV March 20th, 1997 Philadelphia, PA The entire roster is in the ring to open the show, and Sabu and Candido start to fight. Taz steps in and he and Sabu almost fight, but when they run at each other, Candido clotheslines Sabu and RVD attacks Taz from behind. There is then a big pull-apart brawl with all the roster, and only Raven, Brian Lee, and Stevie Richards are left in the ring. Brian asks if he wants him to take him out, and Raven says he's all his. Raven says he'll give him one clean shot, BUT NEW JACK'S MUSIC HITS?! WHAT?! NEW JACK IS UP ON THE BRAND NEW ENTRANCE STRUCTURE AND HE JUMPS OFF ONTO A PILE OF PEOPLE INCLUDING THE DUDLEY BOYZ AND ELIMINATORS! AWESOME INTRO! Match #1: Taz w/ Team Taz vs. Rob Van Dam This was great! Constant action and Taz keeps yelling at RVD like he's Sabu. Fonzie, interestingly enough, keeps yelling at Taz not to disappoint him and seems more worried than ever. RVD bothers to actually sell his own ribs after a Split Legged Moonsault on a chair, so the incredibly well informed and intelligent population of the ECW Arena responds with a "YOU FUCKED UP!" chant. BOOOOOO SELLING. RVD tries a dropdown and Taz pounces with the Tazmission. Great struggle by RVD, but he passes out. *** Clips air of Funk/Lee. It seems good, but it's also a massive clipjob, done to three minutes. Funk wins with a DDT on a trash can. A video airs, announcing that the top three contenders would have a three way dance at Barely Legal, and the winner would get the title shot that same night, and the top three contenders are The Sandman, Stevie Richards, and Tommy Dreamer! However, he relinquished his shot to Terry Funk, because Tommy is an idiot. The closing minutes of the "I Quit" match air, and it's a great angle. #1 hits a Powerbomb through a table and puts the Full Nelson on, but Francine attacks the timekeeper and gets the hammer. She slides it in after distracting #1, AND SHANE HITS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE NECK WITH IT! Oh, but he's fine. That's fucked up. Shane puts the Full Nelson on and Francine loosens the top and middle ropes. #1 fights out, and Shane then puts his head in between the ropes only for her to tighten the ropes back around his throat and neck. Pitbull #2 comes out but Candido and Lee jump him. They apparently have him tied to the post and destroy him with a chair, and the camera catches none of this at all. Francine yells to quit to save his partner, so he does. Cut to The Pitbulls being stretchered out. In the back, Joey Styles interviews The Masked Man. He says the trail of Peter Cottontail leads to Pittsburgh, Shane Douglas' home, and he sees a wicker basket full of rabbit shit and a flower basket for Francine with edible undies. His size, with him in them. He wishes Francine a happy Easter and blows her a kiss. That was weird. Shane Douglas then comes on after he leaves, and has a tape with him. He says Rick Rude doesn't know what he's about, and he needs to do some research and for a man with three bad discs in his necks, he's got a real big fucking mouth. ANOTHER massive clip job airs for Dudz/Eliminators. They get like 5 minutes shown out of 24, but it's missing transition spots, stuff that leeds to bleeding, and a lot of the meat of what seems like it would have been a really good match mostly based around the blood loss of Kronus. The Dudleys win 100% clean with the 3D in a huge upset, and they win the belts too. In a pretape, Joel Gertner is outside with the Dudley Boyz. Bubba has a harmonica and plays "Amazing Grace" and says The Eliminators' reign is dead and buried. D-Von says all hail the new champions, the best tag team in the world, The Dudley Boyz. Hallelujah. Footage airs of The Sandman vs. Axl in what isn't exactly a match, but a fight. Balls survives cane shots and knocks Sandman down with insanely hard chair shots. It then clips to the end of this match, and Sandman hits a Flying Legdrop to Balls under a chair for the win. What the fuck is up with all the god damned clipjobs lately? It's incredibly annoying and a huge turn off. Match #2: Sabu vs. Spike Dudley This is more in full than the others, so I'll count it. Sabu has "TAZ" written on his tape for once and is wearing orange and black gear. This is the best. This is a Sabu showcase, but Spike does a great job with it and the 4 or so minutes this gets. Sabu has it won, BUT SABU USES THE TAZMISSION FOR THE WIN. JESUS CHRIST. ** SABU GETS ON THE MIC AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, HE SPEAKS. SABU CALLS FOR TAZ TO GET OUT HERE! Fonzie comes out instead and says they've been calling him out for a year, BUT SABU CUTS OFF FONZIE WITH AN AMAZING PUNCH, AND GOES APESHIT ON HIM! Sabu puts Fonzie onto the timekeeper's table at ringside, and calls for Taz again. He doesn't come out, so Sabu hits the Triple Jump Legdrop through the table to end the show! |
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| Big Tuna | May 30 2013, 02:38 PM Post #16 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 3/15/1997 ECW Hardcore TV March 27th, 1997 Waltham & Revere, MA A recap airs of the "I Quit" match. In the back, the Pitbulls have The Masked Man with them. He says the only one who's going to roll over is Francine, and she won't be playing dead. In the back, Joey Styles announces Shane vs. Pitbull #2 at Barely Legal for the TV Title. He says #2 will have The Masked Man in his corner, and if he fails to take the TV Title, he will take off the mask to find out what we think we already know. He also announces the Dudley Boyz/Eliminators tag title rematch for Barely Legal. A clipjob airs of a Terry Funk vs. Axl Rotten match from a house show that looked good. Funk wins with a DDT. The Dudley Boyz attack Terry Funk after the match, and Brian Lee joins in. Tommy Dreamer and The Sandman run out to save , and they run off the heels. Terry is out of it and accidentally punches Sandman, but Tommy tries to makes peace. The Dudleys and Lee come back in as they argue, but The Eliminators run out to save. They chase the Dudleys to the back, and Tommy tries again to make peace, BUT RAVEN IS AT THE TOP OF THE BLEACHERS AND POSES! AWESOME! In the back, Terry Funk says here's Raven who goes in and calls him an old fool, and he is. He says the reality is that he wants to be the ECW World Champion, he wants the fans to be able to stand out there and come in with him, and say that they did it their way, but he can't go out and be given the gift of the title match, he realizes that there's a Three Way Dance. He says this is THE biggest match of their lives, and he has to go in with the best of his ability and knowledge and take it one step at a time, and he hopes and prays that he has a little bit of luck on his side, and if he gets Raven in the ring, then it's a sure thing. BET YOUR MONEY ON THE FUNKER. BUY THE BARELY LEGAL POSTER! A video airs of various BWO antics and Stevie Richards hype in general, even before the became the BWO. Best is them as KISS, obviously. It fades away from comedy into him getting legit wins and drifting apart from Raven. Another clipjob airs of Sandman vs. Balls Mahoney in Revere, MA. It's like their ECW Arena clipjob, with it being chair vs. cane, and there's some retardedly brutal shots with both. Sandman has some awesome sells, and this probably could have been a *** match if shown in full, but hey. Sandman wins with a schoolboy. In a pretape, The Eliminators cut a promo, and Saturn says the first time is the best time. There's nothing like the first time. He says they remember their first day of school, wearing clothes from the Salvation Army, and the other kids laughed. They remember the first time they told their parents they wanted to be wrestlers, and they laughed. They remember March 15th, the first time they fought Bubba and D-Von Dudley, and they were better than them on that day. And Joel Gertner laughed. But on April 13th, their FIRST PPV, the laughing ends. The M-Pro six man tag from Webster on 2/14 airs. At least this match is in full. Still rules. Clips air from 3/15, WHERE TRACY SMOTHERS TURNED ON CHETTI TO JOIN THE FBI! BEAUTIFUL! There was supposed to be a Guido/Smothers vs. Spike/Chetti match on a house show in the last few days, BUT TAZ RAN OUT AND KILLED EVERYONE! Taz gets on the mic and he calls for Sabu to get the fuck out here. SABU COMES OUT AND THEY FINALLY FIGHT! YEAH! The roster spills out to pull them apart. In the back, Taz cuts a promo. He says he's got Sabu so hot, so pissed, he's calling HIM out now. And he loves it. He loves it. He says he can taste April 13th, he can taste his blood and his stinky scarred up body. He says he IS Sabu's limitations, because he can beat man after man after man, but on the 13th, he can't beat him. He can't hurt him. He can't touch him. He says back in the day, he beat The Tazmaniac, but no problem, he was the underdog. FULL CIRCLE. He says to look who the underdog is now, because it's not him anymore. He swears with God as his witness that Sabu better prepare himself, because if he's not prepared, he'll probably kill him. |
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| Big Tuna | May 30 2013, 05:43 PM Post #17 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 3/15/1997 ECW Hardcore TV April 3rd, 1997 Pittsburgh, PA In the back, Raven cuts a promo. He says for all the trauma and misery The Sandman has caused him, he knows he wants to tear him open, but he should beware, because there are worse things inside him. Dead things without mercy that can scar him, now and forever. He says high school must have seemed like forever for Stevie Richards, just like him, being shunned and being a misfit. No friends or family, nothing but the agony of realizing nobody liked him. He says he's not worried about him, because he got himself out, but Stevie needed him. He says he won't make it though, so he'll get to Terry Funk. He says wrestling is for young virile men, not old fools. He says there's a parable about a man walking through the desert with God saying he'll always be by his side. He gets tired, and realizes he's the only one walking, and he gets through the desert. He asks God why he deserted him, and he says there WAS only one set of footprints, because he was carrying him. On April 13th, God won't be there, but he will. He will carry him and enable him to almost taste victory before he takes that away from him. At some point, Terry will realize that he can't beat him, and that this is all just him tormenting him. He will pray for an honorable death, to die in combat, but he will carry him to the end. He'll look in his eyes and see his father, and he'll hurt his father when he beats Terry, ends his comeback, and forces everyone to admit that he's the greatest wrestler on the planet. Quote his father's son, nevermore. One of his worst promos in a while. Match #1: Raven/Shane Douglas vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk Francine and Beulah are both on the floor. This is the debut of the new ECW TV Title that looks a lot like the Winged Eagle. This is all about Raven vs. Funk theoretically, and they do a good job building it. Tommy vs. Shane isn't very good, but Shane does a really good job vs. Funk, and Tommy/Raven is Tommy/Raven. They break down into a good arena brawl, and Brian Lee waits to attack Tommy in the crowd. COME ON NOT AGAIN. Funk has Raven beat in the ring, but goes to save Tommy instead! STEVIE COMES OUT AND STEVIE KICKS RAVEN! AND FUNK TOO! SANDMAN COMES OUT TO CANE HIM AND FUNK! He leaves, and Funk DDTs Shane! He covers, but Beulah breaks it. Catfight. Tommy tries to Piledrive Francine, but Shane stops it and hits the Side Belly to Belly, AND RAVEN SHOVES SHANE OFF TO STEAL THE PIN AHAHAHA. This wasn't very good, but Joey keeps saying this is ECW's debut in the area, so it's smart to do this, since it's pretty much ECW in a nut shell. Big arena brawl, interference, cat fight, etc. **1/4 Match #2: The Dudley Boyz [c] w/ Sign Guy Dudley vs. The Eliminators vs. The Gangstas [ECW Tag Team Championship - Three Way Dance] This is also really clipped because ECW also invented the modern WrestleMania build in which matches are sacrificed for more promos and angles, but it got like 6 minutes shown, so whatever, I'll give it something. Good brawl in the early parts, and New Jack is eliminated when he jumps off the top into a Bubba Cutter. It's then clipped a lot, so lame. Saturn hits both Dudleys with Bubba Cutters, BUT SIGN GUY BREAKS A FUCKING PANE OF GLASS ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD! D-Von covers to win. ** In the back, Joey Styles interviews Chris Candido, and his arm is in a sling. He says he's here to lend his expertise since he's injured, and says he's real upset that he can't beat up Sabu again and take his spot in the Barely Legal main event, and that bum Louie will have to fill in. Match #2: Sabu vs. Louie Spicolli This is not as good as their 1996 match. It's kind of disappointing actually, since Louie is really sloppy tonight. Sabu is Sabu though, so he has some cool spots and makes it worth seeing. There is then a ref bump, and Louie hits the DVD. He tries another through the usual table platform, BUT TAZ RUNS OUT AND PUSHES THEM BOTH OVER THE TOP THROUGH IT! RVD comes out with a chair, but Sabu shoves Taz into the chair and RVD! Sabu and RVD have words, and then Taz chokes out Louie. What? He leaves, and Sabu hits the Triple Jump Moonsault to win. That was weird. **1/2 In the back, Taz says Sabu is the luckiest man on the world. For the next week, he has the best insurance policy in the world, and it's his. He won't get struck by lightning, he won't even fall on the side walk, and he damn sure won't get hurt in the ring by accident by some out of shape fat sloth like Louie Spicolli. He says on April 13th, they head up, and he's going to make sure he's 110% so he has no excuses he when he chokes his ass out. Candido puts him over and says Joey was knocking him. Taz tells him that he appreciates that, and says if he ever needs a favor, and then nods at him before he leaves. Candido celebrates. In the locker room, Terry Funk finds Raven in the locker room, and says hello, asshole. Terry then sits on the floor and Raven is confused. He says if Raven wants to talk about his father and him, and he says he IS an old bastard and he loves his kids and family, and he loves his old man, and Raven is the wimpy little bastard with no balls who sits in corners and won't STAND UP ON HIS FEET, BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE IT IN BETWEEN HIS LEGS. Raven stands up in front of him now and he says he doesn't need to fight him, and he won't rile him up. Terry says to keep talking, because he's going to tell him -- but Raven cuts him off and yells that he's not going to tell him shit. Terry yells to shut his god damned mouth, and Raven hits the lockers. Raven challenges him to get up AND KICKS HIM! YEAH! He keeps doing it, and Funk asks if that's the best he's got. "I'M THE FUNKER. NEVERMORE? YOU PIECE OF SHIT." Raven then starts attacking him, and they have this awesome fight on the floor as the show ends. |
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| Big Tuna | May 30 2013, 06:54 PM Post #18 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 3/15/1997 ECW Hardcore TV April 10th, 1997 Queens, NY In a pretape, The Pitbulls cut a promo. #1 says you can't expect to work in a place like ECW without injuries, so he didn't realize he had a broken neck for two days, and he talks about his surgery, while clips of the neck breaking Divorce Court air to "The Unforgiven". This is really entirely his fault. Shane using a Jumping Armbreaker/Divorce Court as a big move is pretty terrible, but nobody ever does a head bump and flip on it. #1 says he tried to break his partner's neck too, so he had to try and prevent it even with a full brace and halo on. He says a man came to him who said he had his neck broken and it ended his career, and said not to let it happen to him, and to be a man, a Pitbull. Clips then air of The Masked Man's debut. This goes on FOREVER, much like this fucking never-ending feud. #1 says Shane took him out again last month, and it cuts to an old promo of him saying he's going to break Shane's neck. Then it goes to the opening video. Weird. A video airs of Joey recapping the Barely Legal card, set to "King Nothing". Footage airs of an RVD vs. Pitbull #2 match from Queens, and RVD accidentally hits the injured Pitbull #1 with a flip dive. Oh, he's really hurt now. DON'T FUCKING COME TO RINGSIDE THEN. Medics and people check on him, and RVD isn't sorry because he's fucking injured and he shouldn't be at ringside. Pitbull #2 comes back on RVD, AND SHANE DOUGLAS RUNS OUT AND PUTS #1 IN THE FULL NELSON! FUCK IT. BREAK HIS NECK. #2 chases him off, and I guess the match never ends. BUY THE SOUVENIR PROGRAM FOR BARELY LEGAL! Another retardedly long Shane Douglas career retrospective airs. This is better than the one from two years ago, because this is at least only 5-10 minutes and not 30. In a pretape, The Dudley Boyz cut a promo. D-Von says God may have rested on the seventh day, but The Dudley Boyz don't, and on April 13th, it's time to TESTIFY! Bubba asks how it feels to lose sleep at night because they're not the best anymore. He says they've taken everything they have to offer, every punch, kick, and flip, and this Sunday night at Barely Legal, nothing's going to change. Match #1: The Dudley Boyz [c] w/ Sign Guy Dudley vs. The Gangstas vs. The Eliminators [ECW Tag Team Championship - Three Way Dance] This is basically the same as the last match for 90% of this, but they get 7 minutes shown instead of 5 or 6, so it's better since you get the sense of a real match. Big brawl, AND NEW JACK DOES A LEGDROP THROUGH A TABLE FROM THE BALCONY! Bubba later eliminates him with the Bubba Cutter. Saturn and Kronus clean house, AND SATURN DUCKS POWDER FROM SIGN GUY AND THE REF IS BLINDED! TOTAL ELIMINATION ON BUBBA, BUT THERE'S NO REF! Sign Guy gets in and D-Von hits Kronus with a chair. Saturn Superkicks Sign Guy, but D-Von rolls him up with the trunks for the win. **1/2 Gertner announces the Dudleys as the winners, but they bail. The Eliminators get Joel, but Sign Guy saves. Joel runs away, and Sign Guy Dudley is given Total Elimination. In a pretape, The Eliminators say this Sunday is the biggest night in all of their careers, but for The Dudley Boyz, it's their biggest loss, embarrassment, and ass kicking, and it's their biggest victory, because they get to become three-time ECW Tag Team Champions. Total Elimination. TOTAL ELIMINATION. Kronus then cackles like a baboon. In a pretape, Tommy Dreamer says he's going to make sure that April 13th is a night that Raven always remembers and a night that Terry Funk will never forget. A short hype video airs for Taz/Sabu, set to "More Human Than Human". In a pretape, Taz is in the Team Taz Dojo's ring. He says this is his domain and his world and his house. He says Sabu is just a visitor. He's a very welcome visitor, and this Sunday night at Barely Legal on PPV, he needs to do him a favor and be the old Sabu. He says to bring the Sabu that he used to know, the Sabu that would give 150%, the Sabu with a heart the size of a lion, the Sabu that would fight him to the death. He yells to push him and says he's begging him. He says when the old Sabu shows up, he's going to hit a wall. Him. He promises that he is not only going to beat him up and blow him up and stretch him, but he's to choke him out. He says it's going to be a war, and he loves it. He says he HAS to choke Sabu out, because he doesn't have a choice. He says he's waited two years, and he's going to make him pay for making him wait. He says he has to, and pulls the towel off of his head. "SABU! I'M GONNA CHOKE YOU OUT! SEE YOU ON DA THIRTEENTH!" In a "via satellite" promo with The Sandman, Joey asks about the relationship between the three #1 Contenders. Sandman drinks and stares into the camera, so Joey talks about Raven, so Sandman crushes his beer on his head in response. A highlight video airs of Stevie Richards' recent actions. In a pretape, Raven cuts a promo and is wearing the same t-shirt as Tommy Dreamer. He says sometimes in life, we make our own choices, and sometimes the choice is made for us. And sometimes, there is no choice at all. So it is written, so it will come to pass. He says he visited an old friend of his, a 117 old Gypsy fortune teller lady, and she went in her trance and started speaking some other language, but he made out the words "fear" and "dreams". She started singing a song from his youth about what he had and what he's lost, and it made him think of the day they first took the ECW World Title away from him when he was in rehab, and they took one of the only two things he's ever loved. He says three men will need a miracle to pull this off, and all this pain and torment makes him feel alive. He likes it. Quote the World Heavyweight Champion, forevermore. In a pretape, Terry Funk visits his father's grave, and says he comes here sometimes when he needs strength. He says that the gravestone says "Do not stand at my grave stone and cry. I am not here. I did not die." Terry says his wife and kids are going to be there on April 13th at Barely Legal along with the people he loves, and he's sure his father will be there, in spirit. He says if he makes it to Raven and beats him, he has to do it one step at a time. One step at a time. He says this one's for dad, and "Desperado" begins to play as the show fades out. Awesome go-home show, mostly. Edited by Big Tuna, May 30 2013, 06:54 PM.
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| Big Tuna | May 31 2013, 12:15 AM Post #19 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Raven, Since 12/7/1996 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 3/15/1997 ![]() ECW BARELY LEGAL APRIL 13TH, 1997 PHILADELPHIA, PA In the ring, Joey Styles introduces the show and card, but The Dudley Boyz come out with Sign Guy and Joel Gertner. They take the mic away, and Joey is intimidated, so he leaves. D-Von says number one, everyone needs to shut the hell up. Number five, bow down to the man in the ring and says they are the most no good, inbred, illiterate pieces of garbage he's ever seen. He says it is now time to TESTIFY. The PPV intro video then airs, and it is great. Probably the debut of "This is Extreme", or that was dubbed in later. Joel Gertner is on the mic coming back, and says people have paid to hear "The Quintessential Studmuffin" Joel Gertner, and says it is YOUR pleasure to hear him introduce the champions, FROM THE LEGENDARY FIGHTING TOWN OF DUDLEYVILLE, and does the intros. Match #1: The Dudley Boyz [c] w/ Sign Guy Dudley vs. The Eliminators [ECW Tag Team Championship] This was weird. It was really fun, as a 6 minute exhibition of Eliminators offense would obviously be, but it felt like almost a squash, and after having The Dudley Boyz lay out The Gangstas every time they've met, beating down Sandman and Dreamer and Sabu and even The Eliminators before, it makes no sense. But hey, lots of cool spots. Kronus isn't 100% on his game, and Saturn hugs him and yells to knock it the fuck off. He then hits a 450 Splash, which he hadn't done in a long time, if ever, and yells "IS THAT BETTER?!" Bubba loses to TOTAL ELIMINATION~ after like no offense. What the fuck? ** Joel Gertner tries to say The Dudley Boyz won on points, BUT JOEL FINALLY EATS TOTAL ELIMINATION! YEAH! A video airs on The Sandman to put him over going into the Three Way Dance, set to the instrumental version of "Lust for Life". Rules. From the stage, Joey Styles says Chris Candido is injured, and throws it to the ring. In the ring, Candido says in 1993 when ECW started, he was on the very first show. He says he conquered the world and he was with his friend Dr. Tom and his girl at WrestleMania, and he came back home here to ECW. He says now it's extreme and on PPV, but he's not a part of it and says he wasn't even advertised when he was healthy. He challenges The Sandman to come cane him, except no, because he doesn't like the smoke and Singapore is a big pussy country, and says to come back with a Jersey cane if he wants to hurt him. He says Stevie doesn't even have trunks, and Terry Funk is fine, but he's the one who started this place, and says he'll be on this show tonight. Lance Storm comes out for the match, and shakes Candido's hand. Match #2: Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm Rob gets "YOU SOLD OUT!" chants, and according to Biggie's review, he was rumored to be joining WWF. They have a really good spotfest here, lots of cool offense. Felt like two really athletic people in a match doing crazy shit because it's how they win, nothing that was clearly bullshit or convoluted. Joey is again the worst, as he makes a dig at WCW and says there's no pretty mats on the floor and these falls hurt more than anywhere else, right as the camera shows that there are clearly grey mats on the floor. RVD comes off like a total star here, and even if it wasn't intended, this becomes a showcase for him. Kind of hilarious that this happens when he debuts a pair of air-brushed tights that are much more original than anything he's worn before. Storm has an awesome comeback, but then does the single worst chair shot of all time. He does two more that are also bad, before RVD hits the Van Daminator and a Standing Moonsault to win. *** RVD refuses to shake Lance's hand, and he gets on the mic. He says he's not here for anybody's respect and he doesn't give a shit about respect from any of the boys or Paul E. in the back. Lance calls him an asshole and leaves and RVD says he's right, and he says he sold out to himself by getting in the ring tonight after being chosen to fill in for somebody injured. He says RVD is no replacement anything, but he swallowed his pride for business, and by beating Lance Storm, he's worth more money here and RVD is worth more money elsewhere! A video airs on Terry Funk now. Match #3: Great Sasuke/Gran Hamada/Masato Yakushiji vs. Dick Togo/TAKA Michinoku/MEN'S Teioh THIS IS THE BEST. Yakushiji adds a ton as a great FIP and younger insane flippy guy. ECW putting BWO shirts on the heel team leads to kind of a confusing response, but KDX still does tons of awesome heeling. This is your classic M-Pro multiman match, and is very similar to the first Dragon Gate six man ROH ran, in that there's a clear face/heel divide and that drives the match so it's not just a ton of spots. Also similar in that it's not anything special if you've seen a lot of these matches, but just their standard great match. Never really hit that INSANE point that the better ones do, due to a non-caring crowd, and Sasuke beats TAKA with a Tiger Suplex. ***1/4 Joey says he took a page out of Taz's book. OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP. TIGER MASK. MISAWA. TONS OF PEOPLE DID IT WHILE TAZ WAS CARRYING SABU'S BAGS, YOU HORSE'S ASSHOLE. In the back in black and white, and Stevie is talking. He says he was ashamed for two and a half years, and he wasn't a man. He had no respect or dignity, and he was abused by a man he idolized. But tonight on ECW's first PPV, he has the opportunity to rectify all of that and come out of the shell he's been in all his life. He says he's not Big Stevie Cool tonight, because it's not about the BWO, but as Stevie Richards, and he becomes a man. He looks up and it comes into color, and it's revealed he's talking into a mirror. He says he will leave that ring as a man. Meanie is behind him and does his best Razor, and says they're going to dance tonight, but Stevie is going to lead. CHICO. Shane and Francine come out with riot squad members, and Shane politely asks for music to be over. He says he came back to ECW to lead everyone to nirvana and to the promised land, and he's done it. He brags about calling people out from other promotions, and that's still douche chills stuff. SO LAME. He brags about breaking Gary's neck, AND IT GETS A FACE POP! I KNEW IT! NOBODY LIKES THEM! Match #4: Shane Douglas [c] w/ Francine vs. Pitbull #2 [ECW Television Championship] Oh my god, this SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKED. They tried to work a longer technical match, and the problems are twofold here. #1, HE HATES SHANE AND HAS BEEN FIGHTING HIM FOR LIKE 10 MONTHS. #2, they're terrible at this. It's a very slow paced match, and these two are not equipped to go 20 without smoke and mirrors or other people to carry them (sup Scorp and Jericho?). Hell, Pitbull #2 can't do that for 10 minutes and Shane's best under 15. Shane has some decent neck work, but Pitbull sells NONE OF IT, NOT EVEN THREE PILEDRIVERS IN A ROW. It gets sloppier and sloppier too, and just. Ugh. I want to give them negative points as a rating, but it was just a boring overlong bad match, not outright TERRIBLE. Candido comes out to interfere at a point. Shane finally ends it with a Side Belly to Belly. PLEASE BE OVER FOREVER. *1/2 As a result, The Masked Man must now unmask. His voice comes over the system and says a deal's a deal, and he'll unmask, but he's either got to give up the girl, or get the ass kicking of a lifetime! He comes out with the full Ravishing robe, AND MAKES OUT WITH FRANCINE! He swivels his hips over her and Shane attacks, BUT RICK RUDE GETS IN THE RING FROM THE CROWD. WAT. THE MASKED MAN TAKES HIS MASK OFF, AND IT'S BRIAN LEE. Why? What the fuck? He Chokeslams Shane, and they celebrate to "Thunder Kiss '65", because I guess that's his theme now too. This was pretty terrible. In the back, Taz cuts a promo. He says he hopes Sabu is prepared, because he is. He knows he is, and he knows Sabu fears him. He says he's gonna bust him up, and he's getting goosebumps, brother. He says he's going to hook his hold on him and choke him out, because he has to no choice. ![]() Match #5: Sabu vs. Taz w/ Team Taz This is fucking great. INSANE atmosphere before the bell rings, really feels like a gigantic gigantic deal due to the build that's probably the best in company history. Taz dominates Sabu early on on the mat and busts his nose up. Taz tries the same counter into the Tazmission that worked on RVD, but Sabu is the first one to actually escape the hold. Sabu turns it into a Sabu Match, and takes over there. It becomes kind of this battle over the style of the match back and forth, but it stops when Taz starts going into Sabu's style and holding his own. He avoids the big stuff and counters and blocks the Triple Jump DDT through a table by getting to the apron and dropping Sabu through the table! Taz goes wild on the neck with throws, but Sabu now tries to play Taz's game! He puts on the Tazmission, but Taz gets out and destroys his neck a few more times because while Taz can play Sabu's game, Sabu can't do the same, before choking him out with the Tazmission. ***1/2 EMTs come out to tend to Sabu's neck, but he gets up and shoves them away. Taz gets on the mic, and he says this isn't him blowing smoke up his ass, that was the fight of his life, and any time he wants a rematch, it'll be his honor, AND HE WANTS TO SHAKE HIS HAND! WHOA! Taz extends it, and Sabu isn't sure. Fonzie asks why he wants to shake his hand after all that, BUT SABU SHAKES HIS HAND! They stare each other down, and Sabu raises his arm. They hug! Taz goes to leave, BUT SABU HUGS HIM AGAIN AS RVD COMES IN! RVD HITS TAZ FROM BEHIND! Sabu pulls RVD off and they argue. Taz grabs Van Dam for a suplex, BUT SABU HITS TAZ! THEY BEAT UP ON TAZ! They throw him out, and despite some difficulty, Sabu puts Taz through a table with a botched dive! SABU PUTS ON THE TAZMISSION AGAIN AND FONZIE JUST STANDS THERE WATCHING! He gets in the ring with RVD and Sabu, AND TAKES OFF HIS SHIRT TO REVEAL A TEAM TAZ SHIRT! YEAH! BUT HE TAKES IT OFF TO REVEAL A SABU T-SHIRT, AND HE RAISES THEIR HANDS! AMAZING! They get the mic, and Fonzie says he taught Taz and he owns him, and he's the winner. He says he had his money on Sabu tonight, and he cost him. RVD gets on the mic and says all the RVD fans are winners tonight, and even the people who don't love him gotta fuckin' respect him. RVD says they can respect his family now and now that he's a PPV superstar and the other promoters want him, all the promotions can contact his man Fonzie. He knows his schedule, AND HE LOVES TO WORK MONDAYS! That was awesome. On the stage, Joey Styles introduces Tommy Dreamer as his special guest commentator. In an amazing little coincidence, ECW's first PPV also features a decent sized group of fans singing along with "Enter Sandman". ![]() Match #6: The Sandman vs. Terry Funk vs. Stevie Richards [#1 Contender's Match - Three Way Dance] There was some sloppiness, but this was way way way way too god damned fun to hate on. Tons of fun spots, and they never really go to the trope of one guy being on the floor for a long time, so it's always three dudes fighting. Come nice revenge spots, and they all sell exhaustion very well. Unfortunately, Stevie is out first after a Tandem Powerbomb. Sandman uses barbed wire and it is great. Stevie comes back down, but Sandman attacks him, so he Stevie Kicks Sandman! That was weird. Funk then hits a Moonsault to win. *** Raven comes out and has a new ECW Title belt. Aw, man. Match #7: Raven [c] vs. Terry Funk [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] Fuck, this was like 2-3 minutes more away from being a legitimately great match. The first like 4 or 5 minutes are just insanely great. Raven has some brutal attacks on Terry and busts him wiiiiiiiiide open with belt shots and chair stuff, and does his amazing dive through a table. Funk's selling is even better than usual, and in a nice callback, the doctor comes to check on Terry, AND RAVEN DDTS THE DOCTOR! YEAH! It then goes away from that as he debuts four new Nest members. BRO, NOT THE TIME TO DO THAT. SHOULDA DONE THAT A MONTH AGO TO BUILD TO THIS. SHIT NIGGER. One of them hits the worst Piledriver ever on Funk, and they go to put up three tables below the Eagle's Nest announce area. Raven says he's going to end the comeback right in front of Tommy, AND TOMMY GETS UP TO STOP IT, BUT BIG DICK DUDLEY RETURNS AND ATTACKS TOMMY! HE TRIES THE CHOKESLAM, BUT TOMMY SHOVES HIM DOWN THROUGH THE TABLE! TOMMY TAKES OUT THE NEW NEST MEMBERS! Raven challenges him, and he comes down. TOMMY DDTS RAVEN, AND FUNK COVERS, BUT RAVEN KICKS OUT! Tod Gordon runs out and insists that they finish now due to the time, so Funk gets a quick cradle to win the title! **3/4 ![]() Terry celebrates in the crowd and with Tommy to end the show, and Joey says they will return to PPV on August 17th. Easily the best ECW show ever, to this point. Wouldn't be shocked if it's the peak of the company either. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 2 2013, 01:31 AM Post #20 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Terry Funk, Since 4/13/1997 ECW Television Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 7/13/1996 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Tag Team Champions: The Eliminators, Since 4/13/1997 ECW Hardcore TV April 17th, 1997 PHiladelphia, PA The show opens with clips from Terry Funk's speech at his banquet. A recap airs of the Shane Douglas/Pitbull #2 match and post-match angle. In the back, Rick Rude cuts a promo. He says April 13th has come and gone, and you can't always get what you want. He says he wanted for Shane to lose his title, and he held onto it by the skin of his teeth. What he wanted was for and Francine to be splits, and she's got one foot in Brian Lee's bed and one on a banana peel. He can't always get what he wants, but he tried this time, and he found that he got what he needed. What he needed was to fuck with The Franchise and take that mask off his face, and there's one more thing he needs to do, and that's let him know that there's more in store. Rick Rude is the best. The awesome Eliminators video to that horrible House of Pain video airs. Joey Styles recaps the Tag Title match with stills as "Epic" plays. Awesome. IT'S IT. WHAT IS IT?! The Terry Funk video from last week airs. Joey then recaps the Three Way Dance to "Until It Sleeps". Joey recaps Sabu/Taz and the post-match angle to some NIN-ish sounding song. In the back, Bill Alfonso cuts a promo in the Sabu t-shirt. He says he beat every penny he had on Sabu, because he knew when he put him through that table, Taz wasn't man enough. He says he was a loser before he paired up with him, and he has no money left for his massages and escorts, and Taz owes him. He says he's gonna wipe his ass with him and he hates Taz. RVD and Sabu come up and RVD asks why the hostility, and says anyone who wants Van Dam and Sabu can talk to their manager, and they're taking bookings for any Friday or Saturday night that someone wants to get their ass kicked. RVD says he's also negotiating Monday nights! In the back, Taz also cuts a promo. He thanks Sabu for being the scumbag that he knew he was, and he loved it. He says this Sunday, he told him he was gonna bust him up, and he did. He told him he was gonna hook his hold and choke him out, and he did. He says being the consummate athlete, he extended his hand, and Sabu hoodwinked him. He loved it. He says he gave him a reason now and fueled his fire more, and then his puppet came out with his long little prissy hair and he nails him from behind. He says he's so anxious to work Mondays, because when he gets done with him, he'll be there quicker than he thought. He says Fonzie thinks he got one over on him, but he done fucked up, brother. He says he's never needed anyone, the wrestlers, the fans, Team Taz. He says all he needs is Sabu, to keep him going. He says he's a Sherman tank, and Sabu is his fuel, and he's going to savor Fonzie. He's gonna let him watch him tear up two guys who he thinks have his back, and says they don't even have each other's backs. He says he loves games. Let's play. In a pretape, Paul Heyman says he has no words to describe the appreciation for his audience for supporting them to this extent, that a promotion like ECW could get on PPV, and says thank you. |
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7:01 PM Jul 10