| Simon Watches ECW - 1999 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 6 2013, 09:53 PM (7,065 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Sep 6 2013, 09:53 PM Post #1 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 11/30/1997 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV January 1st, 1998 Queens, NY The show opens with a run down of the Guilty as Charged card. Tommy/Credible is now just a Ladder Match with the singapore cane above the ring. In the back, Justin Credible says he was born and raised in New York, so he's better than everyone in Florida. HOLY SHIT, THIS IS SO BAD. STOP TRYING TO MAKE JUSTIN CREDIBLE HAPPEN, PAUL. IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. Terry Funk comes out to the ring with the mic and keeps yelling "SURPRISE" while Tommy Dreamer is down in the ring. He asks if Tommy needs more time or if he saved the last dance for him. He yells at him to get up off of his ass and he keeps slapping him. Tommy still won't fight back and hits Tommy with the mic. He sits on a chair and says to give him a halfway decent fight and Joey yells for Tommy to do something as it goes into the video. In the ring, Joey Styles hypes up the PPV but says they have no challenger for the main event, and brings out Shane Douglas and Francine. Shane says he hates to say he told you so, but he fucking told you so. He said that scarred up freak Sabu would not make it to January 10th, and he's guilty. He says he's the greatest World Champion in the last five years, and he put wrestling back where it is now. GAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE. He's had the decency to not try and pull that one out since 95. You can at least buy the first claim, since he's had the longest World Title reign of the 90s by now as far as US promotions go, even if his run isn't the same as Shawn's in 1996 or Raven's in 1996 or even Diesel really. It's impressive how ECW makes you think he's actually been a good World Champion when he's wrestled so little since he destroyed his body winning the title. Anyways, Shane says he enlisted the help of the hometown boy, and now it's time for Taz to name his price. He says he wants Taz, so Taz comes out. Shane says he's got a lot of cash, a dress full of gash, and says to name his price. Taz says he doesn't need his money and he doesn't want his rat. And as far as the Triple Threat, he doesn't need to be a part of that, because that's dead, BRUTHA. He did the heist, and HIS PRICE IS THE BELT ON JANUARY 10TH! FUCK YEAH! He says to expect no mercy, BECAUSE HE'S TAZ. THE NEXT ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU! Man, Taz should have gotten the belt at N2R, but I wouldn't change anything about the actual build since then sans Sabu's shitty bump off the Dragon Suplex. Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Pablo Marquez FUCK YEAH EL PUERTO RICANO! FUCK YEAH TAJIRI! This is an awesome showcase for Tajiri. He's super crisp and sharp as usual with his kicks. EPR does alright for himself, but this is like 98% Tajiri being incredible. EPR gets mean, so Tajiri starts slapping the shit out of him. Tajiri wins with a Brainbuster. **1/4 In the back, Joey Styles announces Tajiri vs. Super Crazy for the PPV. Match #2: Super Crazy vs. Antifaz Del Norte THIS RULED TOO! Totally insane lucha spotfest and ADN shines so much more against a guy who works his style than he did against Tajiri a week prior. He has two completely insane dives here, one of which is the super impressive over the ringpost flip dive that dudes like Ricochet and Tornado and Generico use even in 2013 as an impressive highspot, and he's doing it in January 1999. This is under 5 minutes, but just a wodnerful spotfest. Super Crazy blocks a second Cascading Snap Rana into a Liger Bomb to win. **3/4 In a video recap, Joey says Mikey is gone from ECW now and someone will fill in in the Three Way Dance. Match #3: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Skull Von Krush [ECW Television Championship] Fonzie and Lance Wright are there, and hey, it's Big Vito! This is a solid RVD showcase, and Vito is decent enough. He has some cool pieces of offense so he actually looks good in defeat. RVD is shockingly good about making lower rung guys like this look good in defeat. I can't put my finger on what it is that he does, but I've left his last few defenses liking his opponent more than when I came in. RVD hits the top rope Van Daminator and then a Standing Moonsault to win. **1/2 Lance Storm and Tammy Lynn Bytch come out to the ring and Lance Storm is mad that Mikey Whipwreck has gone to WCW. He says Jerry Lynn is now injured too, and says he has an open challenge now. Spike Dudley comes out to accept! Match #4: Lance Storm vs. Spike Dudley Spike wins immediately with the Acid Drop. 45/Poop |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 6 2013, 10:15 PM Post #2 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 11/30/1997 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV January 8th, 1999 Philadelphia, PA The show cuts in, AND THE DUDLEY BOYZ, ROD PRICE, AND ONE MAN GANG HURL NEW JACK OFF THE STAGE THROUGH TABLES ON THE FLOOR! In the back, Joey runs down the card for the PPV and it's now Lynn/Storm/Spike in the three way. He then throws it to video of the Shane Douglas promo after throwing down the NWA Title yet again. Taz vs. Bigelow from Heatwave 1998 is aired in full. A video recap of the Taz/Shane/Sabu stuff since November to Remember. Video then airs of Francine joining up with Shane Douglas in 1996. In the back, Joey says Shane Douglas was the impact player for five years, but in 1998, someone emerged to take that spot over and throws it to a montage of Justin Credible's worst deeds. AND THE CROWD GOES MILD. JESUS, AT LEAST SHANE CUT SOME DECENT PROMOS DURING HIS MASSIVE PUSHES AND GOT ACTUAL BOOS. JUSTIN'S MURDERED THE TWO TOP BABYFACES IN ECW HISTORY (PROBABLY) REPEATEDLY, AND DOES IT TO FUCKING CRICKETS. HOW IS THIS STILL HAPPENING?! In the back, Tommy Dreamer is in pain. He says in the new year, you start to reflect about the last year. Last year started off with his grandfather dying, and Credible tried to make a name for himself. Then the girl that he loves, she gets taken out, and he has to watch it. He's guilty. Then his partner gets taken out and he takes his beating. He's guilty. Then the only constant in his life turns on him. GUILTY. He starts pounding his head on the lockers and screams out, asking why this is happening, and says he's done everything he's been asked. He says if Justin wants to climb the ladder of success, he's going to take him straight to hell. YAY FOR ORIGINAL CONTENT! In the back, Joey goes back on last week's adverts, and says it WILL be Stairway to Hell, in spite of it being a cane and not barbed wire. He rants about how Shane Douglas is guilty of so many bad things, but always escapes the consequences, and throws it to video of him shaking Gary Wolfe's halo as Joey moralizes about how this is the worst thing ever, BUT HOLY SHIT, IT GOT RID OF THE PITBULLS, DUDE. BE THANKFUL FOR THE ONE GOOD THING THIS FUCKSTICK DID. Clips air of the Triple Threat double turn in early 1998. In the back, RVD and Fonzie are standing by to give us a break from an episode basically just devoted to Taz/Shane build. He says Guilty as Charged goes around the world, which means Masato Tanaka's parents will be watching. He's the best Japan hs to offer, but he's Rob Van Dam, so he's gonna beat him. He's not about disgracing him or making him look bad in front of their people, but because he's the best and when Rob Van Dam is at his best, he wins. In the back, Joey Styles talks about the three way dance and says Lance wants to be the impact player of 1999. FORCED FORESHADOWING. They re-air Tajiri/Antifaz Del Norte and then show clips of Super Crazy vs. Norte. FINAL CARD RUN DOWN. |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 8 2013, 12:12 AM Post #3 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Shane Douglas, Since 11/30/1997 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ![]() ECW GUILTY AS CHARGED 1999 JANUARY 10TH, 1999 KISSIMMEE, FL In the back, Paul Heyman thanks everyone for ordering the show, and says he's not going to bullshit anyone like the other guys. The card will be changed, because Masato Tanaka couldn't make it in from Japan, and Jerry Lynn's fractured pelvis has not healed fully, so they don't want to show a less than 100% performance when they can exploit Jerry Lynn's talents fully on March 21st at Living Dangerously. He says the card is going to be shuffled, and makes RVD vs. Lance Storm for the TV Title instead. Match #1: Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Little Guido/Tracy Smothers w/ Tommy Rich, Sal E. Graziano, & Big Guido [Three Way Dance] Balls and Axl don't come in for a few minutes and in fact, they sort of just interrupt the opening tag match and propose a three way dance, and for some reason, the other teams accept in spite of both repeatedly being beaten up by the faces. Oh well. FBI's shtick is yet again my absolute favorite thing. Stuff happens for a while, and Tommy Rich hits Doring with the flag pole. Guido and Smothers then hit a Double Fisherman's Suplex to eliminate them. As expected and as always, the FBI then dies to put over the hardcore guys. They win with the Nutcracker Suite and SST in stereo. ![]() ** Sal and Big Guido get in, but they get taken out with chair shots. In a pretape, Terry Funk cuts a promo. He says his father had a jackass, and he cared for that jackass, but one day when his daddy wasn't looking, that jackass kicked him right in the nuts. So he told him to get a knife, and he ran to the house to bring a knife, and his daddy then slit that jackass' throat. He looked at it, and his daddy told him, "Payback is hell, son." Tommy Dreamer kicked him in the nuts when he chose Jake Roberts over him, that piece of garbage instead of the man who loved him like a son. It's payback time now, and it's time to find out how much blood he has. Jake Roberts is a son of a bitch, and he wants Tommy to know that he's a son of a bitch, and payback time is now until the day the Tommy Dreamer dies. He then yells at the camera man to get the fuck out of here. Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy For the first time! Yeah, this is a wonderful 12 minute spotfest. Lots of hard kicks, cool offense, beautiful dives from both guys, etc. They'll go on to do much better and they're also very noticeably working kinks out in this pairing here with a lot of downtime in the middle, but it was good enough on a sliding ECW scale to get the three. Tajiri pulls off the win with the Bridging Dragon Suplex. *** John Kronus comes out for some match, but Jeff Jones comes out in a judge outfit. He says he's Judge Jeff Jones and says Bill Clinton is GUILTY AS CHARGED, and OJ Simpson might have gotten free, Judge Jeff Jones says he's GUILTY AS CHARGED. He says Kronus is in his court room to face charges, and last week in Lebenon, PA, he beat him up in the middle of the ring. He's the judge and the jury, and for that crime, HE FINDS HIM GUILTY AS CHARGED. And his executioner? He's a little FUCKING SID COMES OUT AND YELLS "GOD DAMNIT! WHO'S THE MAN!?" Match #3: Sid w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. John Kronus DEATH. BYE KRONUS. Sid Chokeslams him through a table on the floor and then hits a Powerbomb in the ring to win. Most fun ECW match ever. ***** A video recap of all the World Title stuff airs. The Dudley Boyz, Joel Gertner, Big Dick, and Sign Guy Dudley come out to the ring, and Bubba is weirdly goatee-less. Bubba screams that they'll take on anybody tonight on the way to the ring, and Gertner gets on the mic when they come down. Gertner says he is every female's top tourist destination and the man whose crotch is truly the happiest place on earth, the man who makes Minnie Mouse's panties wet, and the man who just last night, helped Daisy Duck fulfill her dream, as she took one for the team, as he made her squeal and scream, as he filled her full of cream. It is he, the bacon in her eggs, the man for whom she begs, and the face between her legs...The Quintessential Studmuffin...AND A GOD DAMNED HANDSOME MAN, Joel "I Shoot Out a Full Condum Filla, and it Tastes Just Like Vanilla" Gertner! After the intros, Bubba says they're not even supposed to be on this PPV and they don't deserve to see The Dudley Boyz, and issues an open challenge. AND NEW JACK AND SPIKE COME OUT! Match #4: The Dudley Boyz w/ Everyone vs. New Jack/Spike Dudley You know what you get here, and it's solid. Everyone hits each other with stuff, "Natural Born Killaz" plays for a while, Spike dies, etc. Awesome stuff includes Bubba press slamming Spike into the crowd, New Jack beating up D-Von with a rotary dial phone, and New Jack getting the 3D on the stage. Spike gets hit with the 3D, and that's the end of it. **1/2 They keep beating on New Jack, and D-Von says there are three rules. THOU SHALL NOT STEAL, THOU SHALL NOT KILL, AND NUMBER THREE, THOU SHALL NOT FUCK WITH THE DUDLEYS. They hit another 3D, and Bubba says New Jack is dead and Spike is dead. He says they've beaten every tag team in ECW history. They split up The Gangstas and The Eliminators, they sent The Sandman packing, they broke Beulah's neck. He says Sabu and Van Dam's days are numberes, THOSE SCARRED UP FREAKS AND PRETTY BOY MOTHERFUCKERS. He says there's only one tag team left for them to beat to be the best tag team in ECW history, and they call out The Public Enemy for January 16th at the ECW Arena. The place they used to call home and that they now call Dudleyville, and they will prove who the greatest of all time is. BOOOOOOOOOOO. An RVD highlight video airs to the shitty Kilgore version of "Walk". Match #5: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Lance Storm [ECW Television Championship] Fonzie and Dawn are there. Joey says Lance Storm now has the edge due to the surprise nature of his challenge, despite RVD beating him twice in TV Title matches so far since winning the belt. This was a typical RVD match, which was great for like the first 15 minutes, but then they went 3-4 longer than when it should have ended. Still, I really liked most of this. This also has the rare instance of an ECW fan actually making me laugh with "CANADA SUCKS YOU FUCKING JARHEADED COCKSUCKER" being yelled at Lance. There was this awesome story that developed where Lance is the first one to try and take it to RVD using RVD's own style with lots of dives in a row, springboard stuff, etc. I'm a sucker for long reigns where guys approach the unbeatable champion in different ways. RVD stumbling and collapsing over the railing and falling on his ass before groggily saying it's not even halftime yet was so great. Some stuff here was a little poorly laid out, like doing submissions and slower back and forth stuff after the huge dives, but still, way more good than bad. Somehow after lots of big spots, RVD wins with a shitty Bridging German. Really awful finish to a great match, but I'll give it to them. *** A Tommy/Credible video airs to that same Alice in Chains soundalike song they've used for Tommy for several years. MY PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN IS SELF CHOSEN. Match #6: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible w/ Jason, Nicole Bass, & Jazz [Stairway to Hell Match] I really hate Justin Credible, but this match was designed to finally give him a great match so people who defended him could pretend he was improving. Total stunt show of a match with him completely led by the hand by Tommy at basically every turn, but it was pretty great actually. Good escalation of ladder spots, some inventive offense, not a ton of contrived ladder spots, etc. There's a big ECW moment where Tommy gets Credible with an Ace Crusher off the gap between two ladders, and that rules. He had Credible tied up in the ropes after getting the cane to get revenge, but Terry Funk comes and hits Tommy with a garbage can. Credible then canes him and hits a shitty flatback Tombstone on a ladder to win. I absolutely get that pissing people off by denying Tommy any kind of revenge so as to get actual hate on Credible was the idea, but they could have done a lot more, as the finish felt a little bit rushed and puts most of the heat on Terry Funk instead of Credible, which is the great part. It's a testament to the layout of the match and Tommy's performance that at 19 minutes, I wish a Justin Credible match went longer. ***1/4 Funk keeps hitting Tommy with a trash can, and says he's going to ruin him. In the back, Dave Prazak's dad interviews Taz outside his locker room. Taz yells at him for saying that tonight's the night and asks if he sells toothpicks for a living. He shoves him out of the camera range and says tonight is just another night and Douglas is just another victim. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. In the back, Shane Douglas laces his boots and cuts a promo. He says Sid is another impact player coming to take what he's made in ECW, but it's an easier task down South or up North, buddy. He says this is the meeting everyone's been waiting for, but nobody's taking his title, the belt that he made. He's not giving it up, he's still in his prime, and tells him to go some place else too. Taz is his tonight, bitch. He keeps yelling "IT'S MY BELT!" again, but Francine doesn't look convinced. ![]() Match #7: Shane Douglas [c] w/ Francine vs. Taz [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] This managed to be both disappointing and really satisfying at the same time. Disappointing because it clearly had no business going 22 minutes and they killed the first like, 50-60% with slow matwork and then a lame crowd brawl. Lots of bad punches and the camera missing stuff, but a few cool spots. They did stuff in the ring with a table, but by then, I'm totally dead from that shitty fucking brawl and the buzz from the amazing build is GONE. The match then picks up into the stuff they clearly had laid out and it's a wonderful climax to everything. The lights go out, AND GOD DAMN SABU IS HERE WITH PYRO AND SHIT. SABU KILLS THEM BOTH WITH TABLE STUFF. YEAH! He leaves, and Shane tries a cover, but Taz kicks out. He calls for the Triple Threat in desperation, and Tammy comes out. She talks to Shane, but then Francine gets mad at her for some reason. They fight, and Candido comes out to separate them. Francine spears Sunny, AND CANDIDO HITS SHANE AND THROWS DOWN THE TRIPLE THREAT SHIRT! That would have RULED if they built that shit up AT ALL, but Candido's been AWOL since November to Remember. God damnit. BUT TAZ POPS UP AND GETS THE TAZMISSION ON. YES. OH MY GOD YES, FINALLY. Shane can't get out and gets taken down in it. The ref asks him, BUT SHANE GIVES THE REF THE FINGER BEFORE PASSING OUT. TAZ FINALLY ENDS IT AND WINS THE BELT. Holy shit, that was classic ECW. Amazing in theory, but the execution doesn't hold up at all. Yet again, ECW fucks up the payoff. I have higher hopes for ECW Title matches under Taz at least. **1/2 Edited by Big Tuna, Sep 8 2013, 12:12 AM.
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| Big Tuna | Sep 10 2013, 02:12 PM Post #4 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV January 15th, 1999 Kissimmee, FL In the back, Fonzie is with RVD and he yells about walking away again with all the gold. RVD says he doesn't want to say he stole the whole PPV, so he'll let Fonzie say it, and he yells it over and over and says he loves Sabu. RVD says he proved again tonight and as he always does, there's only one World Television Champion and only one man that's 3/4ths of the Tag Team Champions, and there's only one man can call himself the Whole Fucking Show. RVD then looks at a plant behind them and asks if he has any papers. A recap of RVD/Storm airs. In the back, Lance Storm says he doesn't need to be the Whole F'N Show, because he's the best part of it, and says he carries ECW. Not because he's the greatest athlete in this sport, but because he's from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, so it's expected of him. The final minutes of Shane/Taz air, cutting off right before Taz puts the Tazmission on. A recap of Shane/Taz with photos now airs. A recap of Tajiri/Super Crazy airs. Sid's debut airs in full, probably out of fear. In the back, Judge Jeff Jones says he sentenced Kronus to an execution, and his executioner gave justice in an extremely swift fashion. Jeff Jones says Sid is intense and wants to hurt people and break people, so for that, he finds him guilty as charged. Case dismissed. In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo. He asks if he didn't just beat Tommy in a Stairway to Hell match all by himself, without the help of a single human being. He says he went out of his way to ask his mentor to stop beating Tommy within in an inch of his life, and says Tommy is holding up the entire show by bleeding everywhere. He says everyone knows he has Tommy's number and he'll beat him again, any time and any where. He's not just the Hardcore Icon, Terry Funk's TRUE protege, but he's just incredible. A recap of Tommy/Credible airs. The show ends with the Dudley Boyz's challenge to The Public Enemy to hype up this weekend's show. God damnit. |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 13 2013, 01:45 AM Post #5 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ![]() ECW House Party 1999 January 16th, 1999 Philadelphia, PA The fucking Public Enemy theme airs, BUT IT'S DANNY DORING AND ROADKILL. THANK GOD. Doring says he heard Public Enemy was supposed to be in the house tonight and does the awful Rocco Rock squeaky voice. Roadkill keeps saying CHICKENS~ in response and Doring is mad. Spike Dudley comes out to end this and a handicap match breaks out. Match #1: Spike Dudley vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill This was fun. Spike looked awesome as usual, but Doring and Roadkill got to show off a little bit too, and they've improved a fair bit. Spike ends up avoiding stuff, and hits Roadkill with the Acid Drop. He hits Doring with an Acid Drop onto his partner, and pins them both for the win. *3/4 Match #2: Steve Corino vs. Chris Chetti YEAH! Joey touts these two, Doring, and Roadkill as the future of pro wrestling. Well, he got one out of four. Corino looks pretty great in his debut, already being incredibly cocky and hateable. Chetti does his basic stuff really well, but this is basically Corino looking awesome on his debut and making Chetti look better than he has in a while. So of course, ECW being ECW, Corino loses to the Double Jump Moonsault. **1/2 Match #3a: Antifaz Del Norte vs. Little Guido w/ The FBI This is good stuff. Very much one of those late 90s cruiserweight matches that doesn't totally hold up due to seeing it for the first time through 2013 eyes and shit, but they do their thing pretty cleanly and there's some nice spots. Del Norte continues to impress me. Tracy gets involved, but fucking Nova comes out to save. Nova cleans house on the entire FBI with the worst "innovative" offense ever. Del Norte then beats Guido with a Sit-Out Gourdbuster, because fuck me. **1/4 Match #4: Yoshihiro Tajiri [1] vs. Super Crazy [Best of Forever Series - Match #2] I loved this! Shocker, right? Tajiri immediately goes after Crazy with stuff and even breaks out a Flipping Senton dive, which I'd never seen from him before. But he keeps doing stuff like that, and he can't hang as a flyer with Super Crazy, so Crazy starts controlling with flips and dives. This did end somewhat prematurely though, as Crazy hit a Springboard Reverse Tornado DDT to even up the series at 1-1. **3/4 Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible is supposed to be up next, but before the bell, Lance Storm comes out with Future Dawn Marie to save us from this AGAIN. Lance says to the camera that this match just picked up and Joey asks what's wrong with Tommy/Credible one on one again. So much. He says he heard people say that their match at the PPV was better than his, but he carried RVD to the best match he's ever had on PPV, and tonight, he's going to carry one of them to the best match of their career. GOD DAMNIT, STOP IT. JUST FUCKING BE WRESTLING. VAGUE SHOOTING IS WORSE THAN OUTRIGHT SHOOTING. Lance asks who wants it, but a three way happens instead. Tommy insults all of the women and says he's begging to see a decent set of tits, and Francine comes out to Rick Rude's music. She says she's been hearing "SHOW YOUR TITS" for five years, and she tries to do it, but Lance covers her up. Match #5: Tommy Dreamer vs. Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible [Three Way Dance] Everyone is on the floor. This was solid enough, and important, since it shows Credible and Storm getting along to team up on Tommy at points. They end up fighting over who gets to pin Tommy Dreamer, and it dissolves their pairing and lets Tommy fight back. They do stuff with a ladder. Tommy rolls up Credible to pin him after Lance misses a cane shot, and then hits Lance with the White Russian Leg Sweep to win. **1/2 Match #6: Rob Van Dam/Sabu [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten [ECW World Tag Team Championship] Really fun 8 minute match. It's kind of sloppy and jumps from like 1 to 100 in a minute and not really long enough, but it was absolutely worth watching. RVD has several amazing dives and Sabu is Sabu. Balls and Axl do their thing well enough, but more importantly, they stay the hell out of the way and let RVD and Sabu do their thing. Fonzie interferes some, and the Double Legdrop through the table beats Balls. **3/4 Chris Candido and Tammy come out, and Tammy has hit the drugs hard during her time off. It's supposed to be Taz/Candido for the title, but right before the bell, Francine comes out to distract Candido, AND SHANE DOUGLAS HITS CANDIDO IN THE BACK WITH A CHAIR. NO GOD DAMNIT. FISHERMAN'S BUSTER ON THE CHAIR. He cut his hair really short, so he looks like a goof again. Tammy slaps him, and Shane holds Francine back. He says to get in the back and even swears at her when he says to get to the fucking back. Weird. Candido is also helped to the back, and Shane says that for everybody that's held that belt or will hold it, he built this house and built this belt not to be degraded. Raven might have needed the dog and pony show to be a great champion, but he doesn't. Holy shit, yes you do. Recognizing his strengths and weaknesses is WHY Raven's the best ECW Champion so far. Shane says to give the people a World Title match to be proud of. GOD DAMNIT NO. Match #7: Taz [c] vs. Shane Douglas [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] THIS was the match they should have had on PPV, at least before all the great finishing stuff in the PPV match. They had better matwork here and the crowd brawling was legitimately amazing stuff, compared to the tepid and boring and overly long brawl at PPV. They had much less space to cover in the ECW Arena and a stage to play with too. Lots of great "big" moments in the crowd brawl, like Shane diving off the stage, a Back Drop on the concrete, and my personal favorite, Shane emptying a box of VHS tapes so they fell down onto Taz on the floor. Great story of Shane trying to destroy his body for the title again, like he did against Bam Bam, but Taz being too tough. Shane uses his wrist cast a lot, sort of betting that he can do enough damage with that to give him the win before it hurts too much. He does a lot of damage with it, and they get back to the ring. Some good stuff with Shane throwing out all the old-school basic stuff he knows, before he tries the Pittsburgh Plunge, BUT HE CAN'T HOOK IT FULLY DUE TO THE WRIST AND HAND NOW GIVING OUT! AMAZING! Taz gets the Tazmission on soo nafter, but Shane avoids it better now. Taz hangs on, AND HITS A DISGUSTING TAZMISSIONPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER! Shane breaks through the table with the absolute top of his head and flops back down on it, and Taz pins him to win. This felt like a legitimate passing of the torch from one generation to the next. Best Shane match in ECW since Shane/Scorpio, which probably makes it #2 all time for him in ECW. ***1/2 Post-match, Shane gets a standing ovation and actually returns the affection for once. The Dudley Boyz, Joel Gertner, Sign Guy, and Big Dick Dudley come out to the ring. Big Dick shoves down Straw Hat Faggot. Bubba gets on the mic and says he'll make it real fucking short and sweet. He says not to bother getting worked up or excited, because this is the one and only time he'll "shoot" with them. They're not here. They told them they wouldn't show up, and he's telling them to believe him. He says they've been here and stayed here, and says not to fucking applaud him, because he's not asking. He says they didn't promise them anything, nothing was advertised, because they're not here. Tomorrow night, WCW has Souled Out, but the Public Enemy sold every one of them out. They'll never get to see the Public Enemy and the Dudleys in the same ring, and for once, he does feel bad, because they should have seen the two best tag teams in ECW get to beat the shit out of each other. Bubba says they're going home, and they leave through the crowd. Skull Von Krush comes out for a match, BUT JUDGE JEFF JONES COMES OUT. YES. He says in case they didn't see the PPV, he's Judge Jeff Jones, and tonight, Skull Von Krush is in his courtroom. In fact, he's trespassing. For that, he finds him GUILTY AS CHARGED, AND HE'S GOING TO BE EXECUTED BY THE MAN. Match #8: Sid w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Skull Von Krush Sid squashes rule. He hurls Vito over the top and through a table with absolutely no regard for safety or planning, before bringing him back in to hit the Powerbomb for the win. I loved all of this. *3/4 Sid hits another Powerbomb, and fistbumps people on the way out. Coming back, Joel Gertner is in the ring and says The Dudley Boyz have left the building. They were disgusted that The Public Enemy were afraid of them, and instead of the match, they will be treated to Gertnervision. The year was 1995, the place was South Philadelphia. Crackheads roamed the town, this man in the crowds's mother was on the corner selling herself, and the pro wrestling industry was in the toilet. And the Public Enemy ruled the roost in ECW, of course. He says in 1995, he rang a bell for ECW and has vivid memories of The Public Enemy. Rocco Slop and Johnny Pudge, he loved them. They came out here and attempted to give the best match they could, and although they usually failed, effort does mean something. He remembers after the show when he would change in the back, and Johnny Grunge would walk by, stinking with body odor, smelling like the asshole of an 75 year old dead skunk with coyote pussy on its breath. If any of them want to still PE, he suggests they stand outside after the show, but the line will be limited to only 5 females, because the only PE that anyone will be seeing is PUSSY EATING IN HIS HOTEL ROOM, STUDMUFFIN STYLE. If they were here, since he's such a clown, he wouldn't dare say any of these things, because by this point, Johnny Grunge would want to kick his ass. He's wasted the last five hours of his life waiting for them, and they're not here. Their stupid music hits and Joey has an orgasm because deep down, he longs to root for fat out of shape shitty wrestlers who can't even brawl well to cover the complete and overwhelming lack of skull. BUT IT'S JUST THE DUDLEY BOYZ IN PUBLIC ENEMY JERSEYS. FANTASTIC. Bubba mocks the horrible Grunge voice and says he's blown up from dancing. He says they're home in the ECW Arena, but it looks different with actual people in it. The crowd shines for once with a "WELCOME BACK!" chant. Bubba says he remembers some of the ugly rats he used to fuck here, and says he sees an actual attractive woman. IT'S THE FUTURE ROH PHOTOGRAPHER MARY KATE! YEAH! Who Gabe fired for attending the funeral of Doug Gentry, one of the founders of the company who went with Rob in the split. Piece of shit. Anyways, D-Von sells his back, and Bubba Rock says it must be because he's 90 years old, and calls him an old fuck. Bubba stops and says this is as close as seeing the Public Enemy as you'll come to. He told them once, he'll tell them again, and he wishes he could see all their faces when he tells them, the Dudley Boyz didn't do them wrong, and not even fucking Paul did them wrong. The Public Enemy did them wrong, because they're afraid that Bischoff might fire them or that Vince wouldn't hire them, or that if they DID show up, they may get hurt. The biggest thing they're afraid of is not mattering anymore, and they couldn't stand that. He swears as one-half of the greatest tag team to ever step foot in this ring, that if the Public Enemy were here tonight, the last voice would hear is theirs, proclaiming that for the first time and last time, The Public Enemy is dead. But oh hey, The Public Enemy is back. JOEY STYLES YELLS OUT EVERY MOVE THEY DO TO COVER FOR THE CROWD'S LUKEWARM REACTION, WHICH FUCKING FILLS ME WITH GLEE. EVEN FUCKING ECW FANS STOPPED LIKING THESE COCKSUCKERS. But they get beat down in a 3 on 2, AND NEW JACK COMES OUT TO AN ACTUAL INSANE OVATION. YEAH! New Jack vs. The Dudley Boyz is always great. They run off the Dudleys, and the Public Enemy talk a lot. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE. |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 13 2013, 03:12 PM Post #6 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV January 22nd, 1999 Philadelphia, PA The Dudleys' promo opens the show. Then Sid vs. Skull Von Krush. Tajiri/Super Crazy II airs. In the back, Mr. Prazak interviews Lance Storm. He says 1999 will be his year, the year Lance Storm comes into his own. He's through being saddled with blond guys named Chris, and asks for intelligent questions. Lance asks where he's from, and Prazak says he's from Atlanta. Lance leaves, and Dawn then poses for the camera and says she's a star. Taz vs. Shane Douglas airs last. |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 13 2013, 03:23 PM Post #7 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV January 29th, 1999 Philadelphia, PA In the back, Taz says he won this and he's called the ECW Champion now. And people say he worked his ass off, and they're right. People say he didn't kiss ass or suck up for the belt, and they're right. But he's nobody's role model, because he's a miserable, mean, and nasty man. If you look at him the wrong way, he'll fuck you up. He's pissed off and hot, and now that he has this, it's only going to get worse. He worked his ass off to get this, and now everyone else wants to throw him off. He calls out the other champions and calls Rocky a spoiled green bastard and asks if anyone honestly believes Hulk Hogan can beat him. He says he's hungry and anyone in the world who wants to beat him, he doesn't give a fuck. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. They air highlights of Taz/Shane again. ECW LIVING DANGEROUSLY: MARCH 21ST! RVD/Sabu vs. Rotten Balls airs. The second Dudleys promo airs to end the show, and the show cuts out once Public Enemy hits the ring and fights. BUY THE TAPE TO SEE MORE. OR DON'T, BECAUSE FUCK THE PUBLIC ENEMY. |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 13 2013, 09:44 PM Post #8 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 SOME FAN CAM SHIT, YEAH! Tommy Rogers/Chris Chetti vs. Little Guido/Tracy Smothers w/ The FBI, Fall River (January 30th) This was a house show match for sure, as it was mostly Chetti, and the FBI can't do a ton with that. Tommy was good at the end with his hot tag though. Tommy hits Guido with the Tomikaze, but the timekeeper Bill Wiles rings the bell and says this is the official time out. They protest, but Chetti then misses the Double Jump Moonsault. Guido covers, and the time is back in, and Guido wins. Awesome idea for a screwjob finish. ** Yoshihiro Tajiri [1] vs. Super Crazy [1] [Best of Forever Series - Match #3], Fall River (January 30th) THIS RULED, SURPRISINGLY. This is my favorite start of one of their matches yet. They start with super fast lucha style stuff in a change of pace, and they do some remarkably fast and crisp stuff that's insane even in 2013. Super Crazy baits Tajiri into missing one of his big tricks to take over, as the matches continue to build on each other. They break out some new stuff too. Tajiri has a comeback, but they rush to the finish where Super Crazy puts on a Surfboard Dragon Sleeper to win and go 2-1. *** Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Balls Mahoney [ECW Television Championship], Fall River (January 30th) Solid match, but very much a house show version of their TV match from December 1998. RVD does his thing, but nothing too risky since it's only a house show, and Balls looks good again. He uses a really nice Saito Suplex, which is very innovative for 1984. RVD does more stuff and wins with the Five Star Frog Splash. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 14 2013, 09:06 PM Post #9 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV February 5th, 1999 Detroit, MI In the back, Fonzie is with RVD and Sabu. Fonzie says for 25 years, Sabu's uncle set this town on fire, and now Sabu is going to make it in Detroit, and RVD is from down the street in Battle Creek. RVD says it's a little more than that, since it's on the other side of the state. RIGHT DOWN THE STREET, BABY! RVD says when you buy a ticket to see RVD, you get Sabu as a bonus. Shane Douglas and Francine come out to the ring and he starts a "SHOW YOUR TITS" chant for her. He says to go to the back and get Joey Styles and they'll start the show naked. He says he wants to talk about the title, but then Chris Candido and Sunny come out with Francine held captive. Shane goes out and Candido cheap shots him and they brawl. Candido beats the shit out of him to go into the show intro. Clips air of Judge Jeff Jones sending Sid to kill Chetti and Roadkill. Ruled. Lance Storm gets on the mic and says he's not fighting some jobber so he can look good, but instead, he's calling out Spike Dudley for trying to brag about their match in Queens, because he could never beat somebody from Calgary twice in a row. Match #1: Lance Storm w/ Tammy Lynn Bytch vs. Spike Dudley This is fantastic for 4 minutes. Crowd is SUPER hot for Spike, and Lance breaks a lot of great stuff in desperation to win. This is so much of Spike's doing though that Lance almost has nothing to do with this being great besides being there. Spike has a ton of energy and fire, has an amazing dive, some great offense on the floor, and dies on every bump. Dawn shoves him off the top and through the timekeeper's table. Storm brings him in and hits the Triple Powerbomb to win. Biggie, did you just make up a finish for this? Pretty sure we reviewed different matches otherwise. *** Justin Credible brags about stuff. Match #2: Super Crazy [2] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [1] [Best of Forever Series - Match #4] This also ruled! They continue to constantly change up the matwork from match to match. They constantly build on stuff through the match, with repeated counters of stuff that worked earlier. They do lots of kicks and flips and hey, it's Tajiri vs. Super Crazy. I didn't like this one as much as the last, I thought it ended a little abruptly. But Tajiri wins with a Huracanrana to make it 2-2. **3/4 In the back, Joey Styles talks about The Dudley Boyz taking out Public Enemy and says it was for money and now they're offering money to take out New Jack too. Match #3: Taz [c] vs. El Diablo [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] This is clearly a jobber in a lucha mask, and Taz mauls him for a few minutes. Nice throwback to the awesome 96/97 Taz squashes. Taz wins with the Tazmission. ** Taz again challenges any champion from any other promotion to come and face him at Living Dangerously. The crowd chants for Sabu, and Taz asks if that's what they want. He says he chased him for 5 years and he never gave him but one shot, and he challenges Sabu to come out with HIS belt. SABU COMES OUT AND THEY HAVE A HUGE BRAWL! YEAH! |
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| Big Tuna | Sep 21 2013, 01:13 AM Post #10 |
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Fan cams from Concord, NC! Yoshihiro Tajiri [2] vs. Super Crazy [2] [Best of Forever Series - Match #5], Concord (February 6th) Hey look, it's great again! They play off stuff well, and do cool moves, countering stuff that's won in previous matches. They repeat a few things, but it's impressive to me that it took them four and a half matches to repeat any kind of a sequence. Super Crazy blocks the Huracanrana this time, and hits a Liger Bomb for the win. **3/4 The Dudley Boyz vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten, Concord (February 6th) This is only like 6 minutes, but it's a solid house show ECW style tag. They fight ringside and punch each other a lot before doing some big moves. Chairs are used, and The Dudley Boyz get the win with the 3D on Balls. **1/4 Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible, Concord (February 6th) Again, Justin has everyone in his corner. This wasn't good, they tried to have a real match. Fucking Credible and Dreamer doing arm drags and chop exchanges, and it's just so hilariously bad. They then both do Flair mimicking spots since it's in North Carolina. Tommy picked it up once it became a fight and had some good punches and piece of offense. Credible did not give a FUCK. One Man Gang came back and Splashed Tommy under a ladder before pulling Credible on top to win. ** Taz [c] vs. Sabu [c] [ECW World Heavyweight Championship vs. FTW World Heavyweight Championship], Concord (February 6th) This went to the 30 minute time limit, so it's not great. It's Taz vs. Sabu, there's going to be a certain chemistry there that makes for a lot of super super fun stuff, so it's always going to be good, but this is like 10 minutes longer than they should ever go. They kill a good chunk of that with a crowd brawl after the great Sabu dives. As with their house show draw in 1997, they start off at a million miles an hour and lose their momentum after 20 minutes of that. You have cool chair and table spots. I don't know, it's Taz and Sabu? **3/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 4 2013, 02:27 PM Post #11 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV February 12th, 1999 Detroit, MI & North Carolina The show opens with fan cam footage of Sid killing One Man Gang, Skull Von Krush, and Rod Price. In the back, Joey Styles says Taz has asked to defend against Sabu at Living Dangerously, but then says Taz has to look at every challenger for some reason. I don't understand. Did they announce the match or not there? Match #1: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Ulf Hermann [ECW Television Championship] Basic RVD showcase for 5 minutes, but it's fun enough to watch. Hermann is basically useless as a generic power guy who does token "agile" spots. RVD gets a sweet dive in, hits all his stuff, and takes it home with the Five Star Frog Splash. ** The pre-match of Dreamer vs. Credible vs. Storm from House Party airs, and Joey says Tammy Lynn Bytch was so offended that she hasn't been seen since. A Lance Storm hype video then airs. In the back, Dave Prazak's dad is with Joel Gertner and asks who paid off The Dudley Boyz to take out PE and paid a bonus to take out New Jack. Joel asks if he wants him to spill the beans, but the answer should be obvious. It is of course, the mysterious benefactor. Joel walks off, having answered nothing. Match #2: Spike Dudley vs. Big Dick Dudley You know how this works. Dick kick, Acid Drop, pinfall. 45/Poop The Dudley Boyz attack post-match, and they hit the 3D. New Jack comes out to save and he beats up the Dudley Boyz for a while, along with Big Dick. Gertner gets involved, so New Jack hits him with a skateboard. NEW JACK THEN DOES A BALCONY DIVE INTO THE RING AND THROUGH A TABLE ON JOEL! YEAH! That leads to a 2 on 1 though, and they hit him with the 3D too. Match #3: Antifaz Del Norte vs. Little Guido w/ The FBI Joey yells that it was supposed to be Norte/Nova vs. Guido/Tracy, but thankfully the FBI took out Nova and it became a singles match. This is again really good, and the booking is the exact same thing as House Party. They do cool cruiserweight stuff for a few minutes and then Tracy gets involved. Nova comes out to save and cleans house with the shittiest offense ever and it sort of becomes a tag match, but I'm not acknowledging shit. Norte wins with the Sit-Out Gourdbuster again. ** They air Tajiri/Super Crazy from Concord to end the show. Crazy goes up 3-2. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 5 2013, 12:18 PM Post #12 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV February 19th, 1999 Queens, NY An awesome video airs of Taz arriving to the building with the belt to massive cheers from the NYC crowd. In the ring, Steve Corino is having a match, and Judge Jeff Jones comes out. He says Steve doesn't use the Powerbomb around here, BECAUSE IT BELONGS TO THE MASTER. SID COMES AND KILLS STEVE CORINO. FUCK YEAH SID. After the video, Joey Styles is alone in the ring to open the show and he brings out Taz for an interview. Taz says he'll choke anybody out and calls out anybody from WWF or WCW that wants him. He says he's New York born, New York bred, and when the time is right, he'll be New York dead. He's your World Heavyweight Champion, he's Taz. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. In the back, Joey Styles says there's rumors that Shane Douglas will retire tonight, and says Joel Gertner has promised to reveal who the mysterious benefactor is. Match #1: Chris Chetti vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano Chetti is still pretty much useless, and throws some truly awful kicks here. Guido does the best that he can with him. Chetti wins clean with the Shitty Moonsault. *3/4 WCW COMMERCIAL FEATURING BAM BAM BIGELOW! AMAZING. The Dudley Boyz come out to the ring with Joel Gertner and Bubba says Public Enemy sold everyone in New York City out. They took the easy way out by running away, because they weren't hardcore enough or extreme enough. Grunge was too high and fat and Rocco was too old. They didn't have the guts to prove who the best tag team in ECW is, and they've been here for three years and not once have they backed down from a fight. They took out the greatest WRESTLING team in ECW and split them up, they took the greatest HARDCORE tag team and split them up, and they're the team that stayed in ECW and hung tough through the bad times (lol). He then shits on the fans for cheering, since they weren't there for five tag title wins or when they broke Beulah's neck, and says The Dudley Boyz are the greatest tag team of the past, present, and the future and not one person here can dispute that. CUE NEW JACK. He has the mic for once and says he ain't by himself. Bubba asks where Kronus is, and says it's probably Spike actually. He says they've beat them all over, AND THE MUSIC HITS AGAIN AND FUCKING MUSTAFA IS BACK HOLY SHIT YES. WHY AM I MARKING OUT FOR MUSTAFA?! THE GANGSTAS RUN OFF THE DUDLEYS! BUT THEN MUSTAFA BREAKS A GUITAR ON NEW JACK'S HEAD! NO! Joey yells that the benefactor paid off Mustafa too. The Dudley Boyz come back in and it's a 4 on 1 with Big Dick's help. They hit the 3D and people try to save, but they all get laid out with 3Ds. They give Mustafa some money and Gertner reveals that Mustafa was the benefactor. It makes sense, but like...it's Mustafa. Shane Douglas and Francine come out, and Shane has his wrestling boots with him. Shane shows how humbled he is by saying "please cut the music", which is a really nice subtle thing. Shane says they're revolutionized the fucking industry and says these were the greatest years of his life physically, professionally, and personally, and he puts his boots in the middle of the ring. Francine looks on the verge of tears, and Shane says maybe he should have been more truthful about how injured he was over the last year and a half. He says this injury retired Ultimo Dragon, but he chose to fight on. He's been called an asshole, and that's not wrong. Some people called him the best in the world, and they may have been right. You are not "some people", Shane. He says 10 years from now, people will say that he was nothing but a god damned SHOOT. I guess that's right. He told somebody a few years back that they overstayed their welcome in this sport and when he had his last match, it would be the greatest match of his career, and he's proud of his last match against one motherfucking tough guy named Taz. He says he knows when it's time to pass on a pair of boots. He says he's going to work behind the scenes, but there's enough studs here to keep ECW going. He gets a huge "PLEASE DON'T GO" chant and says it's time to call it a career, and the person who can carry the torch now is about to be called out. He hugs and kisses Francine, but Justin Credible comes out with Jazz and Jason. Justin says he heard he was a very very smart man and he's made the decision of a lifetime. He says he's the Hardcore Icon and he beat the Innovator of Violence within an inch of his life. He thanks Shane for passing the torch and calls him "gramps", because the next Franchise is not just the coolest, not just the best, the next Franchise is Justin Credible! Lance Storm then comes out and says he might be Justin Credible, but that's the problem, he's JUST incredible. He's the guy that can do it all, because he's from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. So just like Bret Hart carried the WWF, he's carrying ECW, and the next Franchise of ECW is Lance Storm! They argue but Shane says to hold on a damn second. They're both making big waves, but they ain't Franchise material. The guy who's going to carry this on is Tommy Dreamer! CREDIBLE GOES TO CANE SHANE, BUT HE MOVES ON ACCIDENT AND FRANCINE EATS THE CANE RIGHT TO THE NECK! STORM ATTACKS SHANE! CREDIBLE CANES DOUGLAS TOO! Tommy Dreamer runs out to save, BUT STORM CANES TOMMY NOW! They beat them both down, and each man holds up one of Shane's boots to end the show. Incredible angle, one of ECW's best ever. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 19 2013, 10:42 PM Post #13 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV February 25th, 1999 Queens, NY In the back, The Dudley Boyz open the show and say it's time to testify. Bubba asks if they ruined the show, because they've been doing that a lot lately. Case and point, The Public Enemy! Didn't they beat The Funk Brothers in a barbed wire match? Didn't they even beat The Gangstas in a street fight? D-Von says he's damn skippy, but Bubba says he's not Skippy, he's Bubba, and you're D-Von, and THEY ran them out. As for New Jack, he'll never ever get his hands on Mr. Mustafa. BECAUSE CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. To get to Mr. Mustafa, he has to go through The Dudley Boyz. TESTIFY. A LONG video airs on all the recent Dudleys stuff that kills like 10 minutes. Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri [2] vs. Super Crazy [3] [Best of Forever Series - Match #6] Hey, this rules again! No way! They change just enough up here to make it great, and the highlight of that was Tajiri using this incredible and super crisp Rolling Superkick. There's a great sense of each man trying to top the other, as Tajiri does a huge Moonsault into the crowd and then some stretches, so Super Crazy fights back with his own stretches and then his own Moonsault into the crowd. Crazy has a new sweet over the top bump to the floor, to which Tajiri debuts his great flip dive. Super Crazy does three straight Springboard Missile Dropkicks and then hits a Springboard Frog Splash to win. Best one yet. *** A recap of the AMAZING Shane/Tommy/Credible/Lance angle from last week airs. Match #2: Sabu [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Skull Von Krush [FTW World Heavyweight Championship] Sabu does his thing for a while and does a Sabu Match around Big Vito, who's sort of just there. He does some stuff and it's very average, but at least it's not horrible. Sabu beats the shit out of a fan in a Taz shirt at one point, so that rules even if it's an obvious plant. Sabu splashes SVK through a table, and the match ends there, as an angle begins. **1/4 SABU GRABS THE MIC AND YELLS "TAZ, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" TAZ COMES OUT AND THEY FIGHT! FUCK YEAH! The locker room empties to pull them apart, and Taz and Sabu start fighting people for trying to keep them apart. They finally separate the two of them. Lance Storm comes out, and he gets on the mic. He says Tammy Lynn Bytch is gone from ECW because all the ribbing from the boys finally got to her. Don Callis is standing in the balcony taking notes. Lance says it's not Tammy's fault that she has smaller breasts than Tommy Dreamer, and maybe if Tommy got some surgery, he could fit into some wrestling trunks like the rest of them. He says he won't be out here alone, because he's got a new manager. Believe him, the bitch is back, AND HE INTRODUCES BEULAH! But it's just Tammy Lynn Bytch in all black like Beulah. Oh, okay. Joey jumps to the conclusion of blaming Don Callis. Tommy Dreamer runs out to attack Lance, but Justin Credible runs out to save! They beat on Tommy Dreamer and Lance canes him in the face. Shane Douglas runs out to save though, and he manages to help run them off. Francine tackles Jason down, and the three get a standing ovation in the ring. Shane and Francine hold up the Triple Threat sign, and Tommy does too, while also holding his arms out to do "his" pose. They then hug to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 19 2013, 11:20 PM Post #14 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV March 5th, 1999 Television The music video for Kilgore's horrible cover of "Walk" opens the show, featuring ECW guys. A video of all the Sid maulings then airs, and now they kill about 5-6 minutes on this. Not complaining because FUCK YEAH SID, but ECW is hurting for content, it seems. In the ghetto, Taz does a pretape. He says this is no man's land, Red Hook, Brooklyn. A lot of guys are from tough towns and bad neighborhoods, but he's from Red Hook. There's no beach here or pretty girls or guys with pretty muscles, it's just a bunch of homeless dirtbags on the corner ready to jack your ass. That's his life. That's what makes him the World Heavyweight Champion. Every day, he walks down this street to his dojo and asks why he's from this shit town, but it's what makes him him. In the back, Joey finally announces Taz/Sabu with Title vs. Title with the PPV two weeks away. Joey then does a horrible "editorial" shitting on the awesome Raven/Bigelow/Hak stuff and then claims Flair/Hogan is using fake barbed wire. God damnit, I fucking hate you. He then throws it to Sabu/Funk from Born to be Wired to show that ECW uses legit barbed wire. Wait, if you can gimmick it, then why do this? Isn't that kinda dumb? In a pretape, The Dudley Boyz, Mustafa, and Gertner are on a staircase somewhere since this show is from nowhere specific. Gertner says it is he, the Quintessential Studmuffin, with their new family member, Mr. Mustafa. Here with the true State of the Union, tonight in the hood. He says innocent, impoverished, infants are wallowing in cesspools of their own excrement because they just happened to be born to mothers who were crack addicted whores, selling themselves on the corner for another vial. Turning tricks for $5. D-Von says he has $5. Gertner says THAT'S the hood, but New Jack always has to have someone in toe, but there is nothing, especially in the hood, but self-preservation. New Jack never learned that lesson, but then he never learned a lot of things. Now he goes through his informal education, and there's one lesson yet to learn, one he should have learned when he was eight years old. A lesson his mother would have taught him if she weren't busy whoring herself out to every John, Dick, and Harry that walked down this street. A lesson he could have been taught at age 10, better than learning it now, by his father, if only his father hadn't left him at age 3. And that lesson is that CASH...not faith, hope, or love...CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND ME. Bubba says New Jack is the dumbest son of a bitch they've ever met, and at least The Public Enemy was smart enough to run to Stamford. New Jack is dumb as a stump and twice as ugly. He ain't got no life, no family, and nothing to look forward to besides The Dudley Boyz and Mr. Mustafa to kick his ass on a daily basis. He says the time is now for New Jack to be afraid and be smart, and he needs to make a career decision. Bubba says they really don't care, because as long as Mr. Mustafa keeps paying them, he's a dead man. CASH RULES EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. Mustafa says to think about it, and says it's over. A recap of the Dudleys' recent tear, set of course to "C.R.E.A.M." In a pretape, New Jack cuts a promo. He says he doesn't blame The Dudley Boyz, because they're stupid and don't know no better, but Mustafa's got to deal with him. On pay-per-view on March 21st, he's got to deal with him. He says he doesn't care about a belt or money, because he'll work for free at Living Dangerously if he has to, and he'll kick his ass all over the building and take all that fucking money. He says he created all this violence and ECW, WCW, WWF, and every indy on the market, New Jack started it. Mustafa was glad to get a check, and he didn't need him then, but now he needs him. He begs him to show up and says it'll be black on black crime at its finest. He's gonna perform surgery on his black ass, and says to kiss his ugly ass wife and kids and say goodbye, because in Asbury Park, it's gonna be a homicide. Back in Red Hook, Taz says this is a real shitty camcorder they have, but the company doesn't want to take the shot of bringing a $20,000 camera down here. This ain't no town, this is the real world, and speaking of that, he's been hearing that somebody's a little hot at Taz, and it's Sabu. Taz asks what Sabu is hot about, BRUTHA, and asks if he's hot about Barely Legal. He asks if he's hot because he dragged his limp ass on top and gave him the FTW Title that he created. He asks if he's hot because he's the World Champion, and says to stay hot because he wants him hot. Another recap of the Shane & Tommy/Lance & Credible stuff airs. In the back, Joey announces RVD/Lynn, Tajiri/Crazy, and Shane & Dreamer/Storm & Credible for Living Dangerously. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 20 2013, 02:23 AM Post #15 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV March 12th, 1999 Dover, DE The show opens in the middle of an FBI vs. Rotten Balls vs. Doring/Roadkill three way. Doring and Roadkill eliminate the FBI in an upset, but then lose to chair shots from Axl and Balls. Clips air from Taz doing a radio interview with him talking about Sabu. He says this is for the undisputed title and will be the final battle. You can tell he's the heel in this because he's wearing a White Sox jersey. PULP FICTION: -Jerry Lynn says he's been patient for 11 years because he knew he'd get to the top based on his work and not kissing ass or politics, and he's going to prove it when he beats RVD and becomes the TV Champion -Justin Credible says there's only one Hardcore Icon, and it's him. Lance Storm says there's only one Franchise, and it's him. Justin says it's him, and they argue about it. Jason says there's only one Sexiest Man Alive, and Tammy says there's only one Beulah McGillicutty, and it's her. Credible and Storm nod at the statements made by each other's managers, and Credible says he can dig that. Weird. -Mustafa's turn is then re-aired -New Jack says he finds it funny how everyone he's ever tried to help, they've tried to fuck him over. Mustafa tried to go on without him when he was in jail, but HE was The Gangatas and nobody wanted him on his own. He let Mustafa be with him, and Mustafa sells him out. He says he won't come to Reno where he lives now, and he'll just wait for him at the pay-per-view, and calls him a fake-ass fucking Muslim, and says he'll beat his ass so bad at Living Dangerously. He says he's always been a fake, and he's gonna get his ass torn up. -Mustafa is with The Dudley Boyz and just holds up money -Tommy yells at the camera man not to ask him about his personal life, and says she doesn't even work here anymore. -Shane Douglas says he'll talk if Tommy won't, and says Lance and Justin want to steal the revolution instead of waiting their turn. He was ready to walk away, but when they tried to push him out the door, they just brought him back in. He and Tommy started this, and they're not giving it up without a fight. -Fonzie yells about leaving with all the belts at Living Dangerously. RVD says Jerry Lynn has his partner, one-quarter of the Tag Champions, Sabu. He says Sabu might have a broken jaw, but Jerry still doesn't stand a chance. But if he wins, he'll win the FTW Title back at Living Dangerously anyways, so it's all cool. He says he hopes Sabu wins, so Sabu shoves him. ECW then runs an ad for a TV taping using Comic Sans font. They re-air Sabu vs. Sandman from last year's Living Dangerously. Match #1: Sabu [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Jerry Lynn [FTW World Heavyweight Championship] This is a set up for an angle, but it's still a good 6-7 minutes before they get there. Sabu's broken jaw plays into this big time, as he aggravates it when he misses a dive off the railing and hits the apron. To his credit for once, Jerry works it over fairly well. They move into big spots and Sabu misses a splash through a table, and it's hurt bad. RVD comes down to help Fonzie tape Sabu's jaw up, but Sabu insists on finishing. AND LYNN JUST PUNCHES HIM RIGHT IN THE FUCKING JAW. This is really good at selling Jerry's new aggression too, I guess. Lynn takes out RVD through a table, and then the match stops being a match as Taz comes out. **1/2 Taz and Sabu fight, and a table gets put up in the corner. Taz tries to throw Sabu through it face-first, but Sabu hangs onto Taz's head, and they both go through the table into a commercial. Before his match, Lance Storm gets on the mic, and Tammy Lynn Bytch is still pretending to be Beulah. Lance says Paul won't let the introductions be done properly, he introduces her as Beulah. Tommy comes out with a ladder, but Jason comes out to distract him, and Justin Credible runs down the entrance to attack him from behind. He canes Tommy again and Credible and Jason hold up a chair against Tommy's head so Lance can hit a Baseball Slide. Shane Douglas comes out to save, and Lance challenges Shane to replace Tommy in their match. Match #2: Shane Douglas vs. Lance Storm Both women are ringside. This isn't even five minutes, so this is almost nothing. Shane follows up ECW's MOTY vs. Taz by looking terrible here. Dude's working the match in trunks and a Gold's Gym muscle shirt that from a distance looks like the shittiest singlet of all time. Shane's still throwing those horrible Abyss-style punches where the wrist and palm is what hits. It's a damning statement when Lance Storm throws better punches than you in a match. Shane's selling was not awesome, Biggie, it just kind of happened. He comes back with all dick-based offense before his one sweet piece of offense in one of the better Gourdbusters I remember seeing recently. Credible comes back out, but Shane throws him out of the ring. FRANCINE HITS JAZZ WITH A FUCKING ROUNDHOUSE KICK. AMAZING. The ref is distracted, and Credible canes Shane as he tries the Pittsburgh Plunge, and Lance gets a cradle to win. Fart. *3/4 They keep beating on Shane until Tommy comes back out to save. |
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| Big Evil | Oct 20 2013, 03:17 AM Post #16 |
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On TBS. Very Funny.
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shut up, moor. |
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| Big Tuna | Oct 25 2013, 07:43 PM Post #17 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV March 19th, 1999 Philadelphia, PA The show starts with Joey Styles in the ring with Tommy Dreamer, who's trying out leather pants. It's not going so well. Joey introduces the show and plugs the PPV, so Shane and Francine come out probably just on instinct at this point. Shane is rude to the sound guy again, and Tommy admits that Francine is the Queen of Extreme. Tommy says for once, Shane listened to the people and didn't go, because it's not time for him to go yet, and this is Tom Loughlin talking to Troy Martin. UGH. FUCK YOU BOTH. TOMMY, DON'T STOOP TO HIS LEVEL. Tommy sucks his dick, and says the Triple Threat sign means ECW to him, which is a pretty huge stretch. He says he'll raise the three fingers with him and then says he's SHOOTING~ with Lance Storm now. He says Lance thinks personal insults will hurt him but insults don't hurt him, but he'll acknowledge one thing and says he has a big fat ass. He pulls his pants down and his boxers read "LANCE SUCKS" on them. This is horrible. This build was amazing and they're doing their best in one segment to ruin it. He says Lance likes to eat right, but he loves ribs and chicken and eating 25 cheeseburgers and he's happy about it, and no matter how big his ass gets, Lance Storm can't kick it. He says he's shooting again now, and says his courage doesn't come from a rat on his arm or a vial. They go to leave, but Lance and Credible attack them in the aisle and lay them out. Match #1: Spike Dudley vs. Mustafa This is 30 seconds and goes the way of the usual Spike squash, but The Dudley Boyz run out to save. They also throw the ref out, so this stops being a thing. Nike Buys WWE They keep on Spike, and they hit the Superbomb for the first time. New Jack comes out to save and he goes for Mustafa, but The Dudley Boyz cut him off and they also beat him down. He fights back and goes to hit Mustafa with a guitar, but D-Von pulls the guitar away, and they hit the 3D. In the back, Dave Prazak's dad is with Don Callis and asks why he's in ECW. He says they have to move with swiftness and great force to achieve universal suffrage for their friends in Bosnia. Prazak tries to start again and Callis says the miserable have no medicine, only hope. Back at ringside, it looks like Tommy and Shane are trying to fight Lance and Credible tonight in a tag match, but Storm and Credible walk away and to the back. Okay then! Coming back from break, The Dudley Boyz are there too, and they get paid off by Credible and Storm to take their place in this match. Then they throw it to another 2-3 minutes of commercials. I hate ECW again. Coming back a second time, The Dudley Boyz have the mic and they call out the scarred up freak and faggot that have their titles and say they're probably in the back smoking, and Bubba calls them out to fight them too, since they can get even more money by winning the titles too. This is a massive god damned clusterfuck to get to the three way. Match #2: Rob Van Dam/Sabu [c] vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Tommy Dreamer/Shane Douglas [ECW World Tag Team Championship - Three Way Dance] All the seconds are on the floor, and this was kind of a mess early on. Everyone is in the ring and doing stuff, and it gets sloppy and disjointed as hell at points, and nobody's doing anything insane or crisp enough to cover up all of this. Once it splits off into brawling segments, it gets a lot better. Sabu jumps off things and throws stuff, and RVD is RVD. Sabu eliminates D-Von with the Triple Jump Moonsault, and Shane looks like he hurt his ankle at some point. Tommy vs. RVD is then really awesome during the 2v2 section. Credible and Lance come out to cost Tommy and Shane the match, and Sabu takes out Shane through a table. Tommy still kicks out of the Five Star Frog Splash for some reason, but RVD then kicks a table into his head and Sabu covers to win. **1/2 Taz comes out. SHOW. ENDING. BRAWL. |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 11 2013, 12:03 AM Post #18 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 FTW World Heavyweight Champion: Sabu, Since 12/19/1998 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ![]() ECW LIVING DANGEROUSLY 1999 MARCH 21ST, 1999 ASBURY PARK, NJ Before the show, Dave Prazak's dad asks Taz about his game plan. Taz says ECW is trying to hide the fact that a month ago in North Carolina, he busted Sabu's jaw, but he did. So he's going to be on that like stink on shit, and after the match, he'll still have this belt but he'll also have the belt he created, the FTW belt. He says he hates Sabu, and asks who can beat him. He calls out other champions again, and says Flair, Hogan, Austin, Mankind, Maivia, nobody can beat him. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. Match #1: Super Crazy [4] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [2] [Best of Forever Series - Match #7] Joey says that the winner of this match wins the feud, but that's insane, because if this is the final one, Super Crazy's already won. Also, ahahahahahahahhaha this is not the final one. They continued to change their stuff up JUST enough for this to be great. This is probably their second best match after the crazy one in Queens, due to some botching near the end here. The ramp also gives them a new tool to play with, which was nice. They play on past finishes, and Tajiri again counters the Liger Bomb into a Huracanrana, but Super Crazy rolls through into a sunset flip to BARELY pin Tajiri. *** In the back, Bill Alfonso is with RVD and Sabu as they show off all the gold. He says Taz used to have the best manager in wrestling in his corner, but now he's all alone, and he's with Sabu. He says he'll tape Sabu up and glue him up if he breaks again, and he's gonna kick Taz's ass. RVD says it's a big night for Sabu, because he gets to watch Rob Van Dam defend his TV Title. He says Sabu loves to watch him wrestle, but when Sabu wants to hit him, RVD says he's going to beat Taz and it's not even a challenge. The challenge is then how RVD is going to carry FIVE belts and his partner too. Steve Corino is on the mic and says Tajiri and Super Crazy come in every week, and they SUCK. He says he can do everything they do, but much better, because he's Steve Corino. He says he doesn't need steroids to look good, he doesn't need to wrestle in foreign lands for people to respect him, so what he wants now is for someone from the back to come out is so he can show all these losers out there in TV Land how hardcore Steve Corino is. Balls Mahoney comes out. Match #2: Balls Mahoney w/ Axl Rotten vs. Steve Corino At least Corino's here! He gets beat up a lot for four minutes, and Axl gets in on it on the floor too. Corino is tough enough to kick out of a Frog Splash. He goes to use a chair, BUT OPENS IT AND USES IT FOR A REAR CHINLOCK INSTEAD. YEAH! Balls is mad, so Balls destroys him with a chair shot to win. *3/4 A video airs on all the Dudley Boyz/New Jack/Mustafa stuff. Match #3: Antifaz Del Norte vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano This happens for 6 minutes. They do alright, but they try and do the same cruiserweight spotfest style match only like 10-20 minutes after the crowd just saw Tajiri vs. Super Crazy, so it falls so so so so flat. Joey talks about Guido splitting with Tracy Smothers last weekend at the ECW Arena, which should have been on TV if they're mentioning it now. Sal slams Del Norte through a table at ringside, and Guido puts on the Sicilian Crab in the ring to win. ** Tracy Smothers and Tommy Rich come down to the ring and confront Guido, and Smothers decks him. Sal tries to keep the peace, but Tommy Rich hits him with the flag. He no-sells it, and Tommy Rich and Tracy Smothers run off to the back. FBI ![]() Match #4: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Jerry Lynn [ECW Television Championship] This is the one that's actually great, so it's not all bad having to review this. For once, they work with a real story to their spots. The story is that after 11 months with the belt, RVD is SUPER cocky about this and doesn't take Lynn seriously at all. So early on, you have Lynn countering basically EVERY notorious RVD piece of offense, and RVD gets more and more on the defensive like never before. He finally takes over with a Superkick on the top to send Lynn through a table, and now starts throwing out big stuff immediately, and actually comes off desperate. They do contrived stuff in the second half including the fucking roll up sequence, but it's not enough to ruin what they've built completely, and it's over very quickly. AND THEY EVEN SELL DAMAGE LONG TERM. HOLY SHIT. Lynn hits a Tornado DDT, and the twenty minute time limit expires. The referee goes to award the title to Jerry Lynn on points, which is out of nowhere and totally unfair since that's NEVER been brought up. Lynn wants five more minutes and wants to WIN the title though, so RVD agrees to protect the belt! As soon as he gets an opening, RVD hits the Van Daminator and Frog Splash to win. This is a miracle of both booking and match layout, as the way it's all done, Lynn looks like he has RVD's number and only lost because he wanted to earn the title. ***1/4 A video airs on Sabu/Taz's history. To kill time, clips air of a Jasmin St. Claire/Francine catfight before the PPV. Match #5: New Jack vs. Mustafa You know what you get here, it's a New Jack match, and it's violent. New Jack does his biggest balcony dive yet, down some 20 feet. Doctors have to drag New Jack off the floor as they're both basically dead and they throw them back in, so New Jack can cover him for the win. ** The Dudley Boyz come out and attack New Jack and even Gertner and Sign Guy slap him. They throw him out onto the ramp and Gertner gets the mic. WELL WELL WELL. He says he's not a player, he just crushes a lot, and as the shorties can tell you, he's not just alright, he's Dolemite, and all you need to do is sit down on his pelvis, and you'll feel the shit that killed Elvis. Babyfaces now come out to help New Jack to the back. Bubba gets on the mic and says they're just gonna have to lay down another open challenge and if there's any two men in the back with the guts enough and nuts enough, they need to get in this ring. It's Spike Dudley and Nova. Match #6: The Dudley Boyz vs. Spike Dudley/Nova Spike and Nova get hurt early, and people try and take Nova away while Spike just vanishes. Bob Artese tries to stand in front to help, but THEY HIT ARTESE WITH THE 3D! YES! Bubba gets on the mic and says there's nobody left and they've destroyed all of everyone's heroes. Bubba says they're nothing but white trash, people from New Jersey with no heart, and challenges any of them to fight us. Bubba asks if there's nobody man enough to get in the ring with The Dudley Boyz... ...BUT JUDGE JEFF JONES BRINGS A STRETCHER AND THEN SID OUT! YES! BUBBA CALLS HIM A BIG DUMB BLOND FAGGOT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DOUBLE CHOKESLAM. POWERBOMB TO D-VON! Sid beats up D-Von on a stretcher, and Spike comes back alive to hit Bubba with the Acid Drop to win, as this randomly became a match again after 10 minutes of amazing bullshit. ECW. And then Spike eats a Powerbomb through a table too, because it's Sid. A hype video airs for the tag match. Match #7: Tommy Dreamer/Shane Douglas vs. Justin Credible/Lance Storm All the various parties are on the floor. Francine, Jason, Dawn, Jazz, etc. They work this as a normal tag match, and it's pretty good. Not great though because I mean, it's 1999 Shane in a normal match with Credible, and it's also nineteen fucking minutes. So they have a great first five or so minutes, and gradually just lose that in the middle since it takes forever for them to actually isolate Tommy. Shane is a terrible hot tag and does this super awkward fake turn on Tommy before he then attacks Credible and Lance. What the fuck? They do stuff, and Shane beats Credible with the Pittsburgh Plunge. **1/4 Don Callis comes out as Tommy and Shane celebrate, and they get distracted, allowing Lance Storm to hit them with a Double Springboard Clothesline! Credible gets the cane out, and he nails them both with the cane. Styles names Callis "Cyrus The Virus". In the back, Dave Prazak's dad finds RVD and says Jerry Lynn feels like he got ripped off tonight. RVD says that's fair, he guesses. He says he doesn't need a lot of hype or storylines or videos about him, he just wants to wrestle and be appreciated, and Jerry Lynn brings out the best in him. He says if he feels like he got ripped off, he's challenging him to try him again at the next pay-per-view, because he has his best matches with Jerry Lynn these days. RVD says he'll see him there, because he's Mr. PPV, RVD. Match #8: Taz [c] vs. Sabu [c] w/ Bill Alfonso [ECW World Heavyweight Championship vs. FTW World Heavyweight Championship - Falls Count Anywhere] As they have more and more matches, I'm forced to say Barely Legal was a mirage made out of perfect layout and build. This is decent, but nothing really more than that. Seems like they just don't mesh together, in spite of some cool spots involving being thrown off the ramp and table crashing, etc. Taz puts Sabu through a corner table again with a Dragon Suplex, and Sabu passes out in the Tazmission to finally end this. 18 minutes was beyond them as well. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Nov 16 2013, 08:38 PM Post #19 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV March 26th, 1999 Philadelphia, PA Sid murdering the Dudleys opens the show. In the back, Joey Styles announces that the next PPV is on May 16th, and it's Hardcore Heaven 1999. In the arena, Chris Chetti and Nova are getting beaten down by Skull Von Krush and Rod Price, but Judge Jeff Jones comes out, AND IT'S SID TO KILL EVERYONE. YEAH. BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. A recap of RVD/Lynn airs. Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Tracy Smothers & Sal E. Graziano ECW now tries to convince me that Guido is in that league with Tajiri and Crazy. He isn't, at all. He doesn't go insane ever like they do, and mostly does matwork well, otherwise looking out of his element when things get super fast. There's a commercial in the middle for WrestleMania XV in Philly. FUCK YEAH WWF. They do stuff in the match and it's all very good, but Tajiri clearly cannot go full force with Guido without totally leaving him in the dust. Guido and Tracy keep miscommunicating, and Tajiri hits several Buzzsaw Kicks and a Basement Dropkick to win. **1/2 Tracy is pissed and shoves Guido. They argue, and Tracy beats down Guido before Sal tries to keep the peace. A recap of the Tajiri/Crazy "finale" airs. Match #2: Super Crazy vs. Antifaz Del Norte Really fun spotfest and much better than Tajiri/Guido, since ADN can keep up with Super Crazy AND work his style. Lots of cool dives and arm drags and headscissors stuff. Del Norte gets the craziest that he has yet, and it takes this from what seemed like a fun Super Crazy showcase into a legitimately great spotfest. Crazy gets the twisting Sunset Flip out of the corner deal for the win. *** A recap of the Impact Players tag airs. In the back, Joey Styles plugs ECW Magazine. Why do this? This seems like a pointless waste of money. A recap of Taz/Sabu ends the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Dec 21 2013, 12:23 AM Post #20 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998 ECW Hardcore TV April 2nd, 1999 Binhamton, NY In the back, Bill Alfonso is with RVD and Sabu and says everyone's talking about the last PPV and the big title match and controversy. He says Sabu lied and said he was 70%, but he's only 40%, and he needs down time for the first time. He says he's benching him and if he wrestles again, he's done as his manager. Sabu leaves and RVD says to forget about him because he dropped the ball and didn't even watch his match, the best match. He congratulates Jerry Lynn on being in the best match too and he kicked his ass so bad that he's now Mr. PPV. Fonzie blows the whistle and RVD says the Sheik's prouder of him anyways. The final moments of RVD/Bigelow in the TV Title switch from a year ago air to commemorate RVD's one year anniversary as champion. ECW HARDCORE HEAVEN: MAY 16TH! Match #1: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill This is from the pre-show from the PPV, and they plug it huge but it's kind of just a shitty spotfest. Lots of convoluted and botched stuff, but the potential's there with the Doring/Roadkill team in their control segment. Chetti and Nova beat Roadkill with a Flying Legdrop and Splash from the same turnbuckle at the same time. They also use "Intergalactic", ruining that. ** In the back, a bloody ROTTEN BALLS cut a promo. Axl says the trend today is trying to be hardcore and everyone has a hardcore title and they're calling every asshole who can't work real wrestling "hardcore" (hey, wait a minute). He says 5 years ago, it wasn't so cool to be hardcore, but now in Connecticut they give the title to guys who use flour bags and wrestle in snow. He says ALL their belts are hardcore titles and they're the hardest working wrestlers in this business and says to come watch and they'll prove it. PULP FICTION: -Shane Douglas and Francine are there. Shane says he doesn't like Tommy Dreamer a lot or admire him, but he doesn't need to do either to stand with them. He DOES believe in Tommy Dreamer though, because he's watched him for five years. He tells Lance and Justin to think about who they play mind games with because he's dominated WITH his mind. He's never backed off of a challenge unlike them, and if they still want a piece, he's not going anywhere. He repeats these points for 5 hours. -Super Crazy speaks in Mexican -Joel Gertner is in the locker room and he says it's time for GERTNER VISION. He brings on The Dudley Boyz and Bubba asks who's even left because they've beat every team and challenged every other team to no avail. Bubba says the only thing left to do is win the titles for a sixth time, but RVD and Sabu won't stop ducking them. There's nothing left to do. Gertner introduces them to Steve Corino, who tries to shake their hands. They refuse, and ask how much he even weighs. Gertner says his wallet ways a lot and he had $5,000 for them, SO BUBBA HUGS HIM AND ASKS HOW THE HELL HE IS. AMAZING. Corino says Balls Mahoney ruined his PPV debut and he wants them to take him out. Bubba immediately walks off yelling BALLS -Doring urges Roadkill to cut a promo. He takes his hat off and combs his bears, but then emphatically says "chickens" -Super Crazy goes nuts and Moonsaults the floor -Jerry Lynn says RVD is only self-proclaimed the Whole F'N Show, and patience is no longer a virtue. Lynn says they're doing it again at Hardcore Heaven, and he's canceling Rob Van Dam. Because he's the NEW F'n Show. -In the back, The Dudley Boyz and Steve Corino attack Balls and Axl and beat them down. Bubba drops some bills on them and says that's for the hospital bills, and it's just business. -Lance Storm and Credible say they paid the dudleys good money to take out Dreamer and Douglas but they didn't get the job done, so they want their money back. Credible specifies US dollars, and Lance says they had to do the jobs themselves at the PPV. The pin doesn't matter, because they left them laying. They argue about who the new Franchise is Before his match, Lance Storm gets on the mic and says he was humbled at Living Dangerously, because he learned his limits. Because not even he could carry Shane Douglas and Tommy Dreamer to a good match on PPV! God damnit, ECW. Match #2: Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer Dawn and Francine are both ringside. This was a lot of fun. Lots of cool little changes of pace for usual pro wrestling spots as Lance continues to be one of a few bright spots like RVD, Tajiri, Crazy, and the Dudleys, for the otherwise dark ECW. Unfortunately, it's like 4-5 minutes so they don't get to do a lot before Credible runs out during a catfight. He throws Dreamer into a chair in the corner and pulls Lance on top to win. ** Shane Douglas runs out to save, but the cane comes out and they lay out Douglas too. BUY THE ECW CD. THEY MADE TOO MANY OF THEM. Match #3: Jerry Lynn vs. Tracy Smothers w/ Tommy Rich This is only 90 seconds before an angle happens, but what airs is very good basic pro wrestling. Tracy does an awesome job putting over Lynn's speed, as the entire match is based around that and Tracy sells his frustration with it. Lynn hits a dive and gets back in, but RVD and Fonzie come out and this stops being a match. *1/4 RVD gets in with the mic and says to excuse him, AND HITS TRACY WITH THE VAN DAMINATOR! Tommy Rich is mad, but Sabu runs out and hits him with his spike. Little Guido runs out to attack Tracy along with Sal E. Sabu puts Rich through a table and RVD and Lynn jaw at each other. |
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6:52 PM Jul 10