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Simon Watches ECW - 1999
Topic Started: Sep 6 2013, 09:53 PM (7,070 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998

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ECW CYBER SLAM '99
APRIL 3RD, 1999
PHILADELPHIA, PA

Match #1: Jerry Lynn vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri yet again proves himself as the best wrestler in ECW by getting a ton out of a nine minute match with Jerry Lynn. He guides him on the mat while also making Lynn look like a better technician, which is amazing. The match isn't quite great since Lynn can still be shamefully loose on some of this stuff and Tajiri is still a respectful babyface. Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for the win.
**3/4

They shake hands, and Tajiri bows. You're better than this, Yoshihiro.

Lance Storm and Dawn Marie come out for a promo, and Lance has on a Monday Night Jericho t-shirt. THRILLSEEKERS 4EVA. This is horrible. I'm just going to steal Biggie's recap, as it involves a long Lance Storm promo about steroids and involves pouring urine:

"He says that Tommy Dreamer has been going around accusing him of being on steroids. After a long winded go around of why he is not, Dawn takes out a urine sample that is supposedly Lance's and says he'll have it tested right here right now if Tommy Dreamer does the same, because he was once in shape, and he knows that Tommy's taken short cuts before. Tommy comes out to presumably pee in public but Cyrus the Virus hopes the railing and takes a swing at Dreamer. Dreamer floors him off the apron and Storm attacks Dreamer. They brawl briefly but Dreamer gets the best of him and plants him with a DDT. He grabs the piss jar from Dawn and dumps it on Lance's face before screaming E-C-FUCKING-W, and I hate everything."

Match #2: Nova vs. Rod Price
FUCK YEAH ROD PRICE. He does what he can for 4 minutes to carry this ass bag full of belabored pleather fucks. I say fucks as in plural, because Skull Von Krush comes to interfere for some reason, which is a cue for Chetti to come out for ECW 1999's token psuedo tag match per show. Chetti and Nova hit Price with the Splash/Legdrop combo to win. Biggie, you gotta watch the matches man. We're 2 for 2 on totally different finishes.
*1/2

Skull Von Krush and Rod Price argue about who the crowd cares least about. SVK realizes that it's him and lays out Price in anger with the DDT. Go away.

Match #3: Super Crazy vs. El Mosco de la Merced
Another SUPER fun lucha showcase. It's very obviously about Super Crazy and he shines the most, but MDLM is hardly any kind of a slouch. Mosco is currently known as X-Fly in Mexico. Lots of rolling and flying and I am a sucker for it. Mosco has a sweet dive too and really pushes Super Crazy before he gets put down with a Frog Splash.
***

Match #4: TAKA Michinoku vs. Papi Chulo

TAKA VS. ESSA RIOS! AWESOME! If WWF was going to let TAKA come down to ECW though, I wish they'd have given him something more substantial. I know they do later, but FUCK ME BECAUSE THIS RULED ANYWAYS. Not great like Crazy's match is it's much more of an obvious showcase for TAKA as he gets to actually control it, but it was a great 6 minutes. TAKA gets an Inverted Suplex lift into a Michinoku Driver to win.
**1/2

Match #5: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. 2 Cold Scorpio [ECW Television Championship]

YEAH! REMATCH! Awesome spotfest and even better than their first match since it's only sixteen minutes, so they cut out a lot of time killing and just do 90% cool shit. It's that perfect kind of RVD spotfest where there's not a ton of story but everything is cool and flows well enough that you let it slide because it's a lot of fun. Scorpio knows how to get the best out of this style because in spite of the name, it's his fucking style. The crowd doesn't really care because it's just normal wrestling without weapons and these assholes appreciate nothing and ruin crowds forever. Then Sabu comes out and puts Scorp through a table with the Arabian Legdrop. After the kickout, RVD hits the top rope Flying Sidekick Van Daminator and the Frog Splash to win. With a crowd that gives a shit, this could have been elevated a lot.
***

After the cut, Steve Corino is in the ring with Chris Candido and Tammy. Tammy keeps swatting his hands away, and Candido has the mic. He says it seems appropriate to come back tonight with all his friends from the internet here. He didn't tap out after a baby bottle or doing jumping jacks like an asshole and he didn't tap out to drugs or alcohol or Somas and obviously not steroids. He then walks over to Taz and says he's not tapping out to him either. Wait, what? According to the internet, the DVD release of this show cut out this whole deal:

"prior to the bout, Steve Corino cut an in-ring promo until Taz interrupted and challenged him to a match; Corino faked having an injury and then introduced Candido as his stand-in; Candido, accompanied by Sytch"

Candido challenges him to make it Falls Count Anywhere, and Taz accepts.

Match #6: Taz [c] vs. Chris Candido w/ Tammy Lynn Sytch [ECW World Heavyweight Championship - Falls Count Anywhere]
Fun little brawl before the angle. Candido takes big risks to sell the importance of the match. It's kind of a middling and average fight through the arena, but all the stuff inside the railing is good. There's some weird stuff with referee distraction before they use a chair in plain view, which makes NO god damned sense when they went out of their way to stress a stipulation that implies a degree of rule lacking. A table gets put in the corner, and Taz hits the Tazmissionplex through it. Candido goes limp and Tammy screeches and he's dead so the match is called.
**1/2

They sell like Candido is paralyzed as the referees and Tammy check on him. He gets a stretcher job and neck brace as Joey gets SRS~ about it. The crowd chants "FUCK YOU TAZ!" and he gets the mic and gets mad. He repeats "fuck me?" before he goes out and pushes Chris off the stretcher! He beats the shit out of him on the way back to the ring and puts on the Tazmission before Chris stops moving. He yells that that's what you get when you fuck with Taz. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.

Before Shane/Credible, Shane gets on the mic and calls him a fucking pussy. He says there's a story that starts at that front door when Terry Funk stepped through six years ago, and he knew that his job was to make Shane Douglas a fucking Franchise. And every person who's walked through that door since has become a notch on his belt but if he thinks he's going to become a notch on Justin Credible's belt, he's got another thing coming motherfucker. HORRIBLE BLENDING OF WORK AND SHOOT AGAIN. GOD DAMNIT. Shane then drops the rare cool thing and says he's always known best how and when to cross a line, before he draws a line on the mat with his foot. He says the line's right there, and if he thinks he's man enough, he can step over. Shane slaps him and it is on.

Match #7: Shane Douglas vs. Justin Credible
Francine and Justin's posse are ringside. I'm not going to call this great, because it wasn't, but it's way better than I would have expected from this match. They do some cool table and chair spots, and Credible's control seg isn't the worst thing, but the middle drags a lot. The full dog and pony show happens and Shane takes out Jason. Shane ducks a final cane shot after losing a cane battle, but then gets the Pittsburgh Plunge to win.
**1/2

Lance Storm immediately hits the ring to cane him, and Credible joins in. Lance holds Shane against the ropes and Credible canes his back over and over. Shane yells to do it and he takes him down with another shot. Tommy Dreamer runs out and is immediately taken down with a cane shot. Lance gets a trash can and hits Tommy with it. They pull Tommy and Shane to the middle of the ring and pose over them.

The main event of Dudleys/Mustafa vs. New Jack/Rotten Balls in an Ultimate Jeopardy Cage Match only has like 5 minutes to it before the file cuts off, so it's not worth reviewing without a finish
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998

ECW Hardcore TV
April 9th, 1999
Philadelphia, PA


The Lance/Dreamer urine seg opens up.

RVD/Scorpio is then up.

In the back, Dave Prazak's dad is with Justin Credible. He says tonight he has an opportunity that he won't pass up. He says he's going to prove that the next Franchise isn't just the coolest, isn't just the best, but that the next franchise is Justin FAGGOT.

Taz/Candido airs to end the show.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998

ECW Hardcore TV
April 16th, 1999
Philadelphia, PA


The show opens with scenes from the cage match, where the Dudley Boyz win. The Dudleys leave, but Balls, Axl, and New Jack lock the cage doors shut. They put Mustafa on a table and New Jack jumps off the cage to put him through the table for some payback.

Jerry Lynn vs. Tajiri airs.

Then Super Crazy vs. El Mosco!

They air the steroid piss segment AGAIN.

Credible vs. Douglas and the post-match stuff ends the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Rob Van Dam/Sabu, Since 12/13/1998

ECW Hardcore TV
April 23rd, 1999
Philadelphia, PA & Buffalo, NY


TONIGHT THE LIVES OF RVD, SABU, THE DUDLEYS, JUSTIN CREDIBLE, AND LANCE STORM WILL ALL CHANGE~

In the back, Joey Styles says the State Athletic Commission has confiscated the tape of the main event and are wondering about suspending Sabu's license to wrestle and wonders how many states that can hold up in or if it's only New York. Joey says they're trying to get video of the main event.

Match #1: Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney vs. Little Guido/Sal E. Graziano
TONS of stalling early on. Basically a showcase for Rotten Balls. Sal gets to actually do things and it's pretty horrible. They work a real match for some reason. THIS is where the famous ECW static cut editing would have been useful. Things happen and Sal gets felled by two chair shots and Rotten Balls wins.
*

In the back, Joey recaps Taz/Candido. He says Candido has a halo on and his future is uncertain. He then throws it to TAKA vs. Papi Chulo from Philadelphia to kill some time while they try and get the tapes from the athletic commission.

They recap things with photos now from the internet. Tommy and Francine came out to say Shane Douglas was jumped by Lance and Credible. They came out to the ring and Tommy got caned. Dawn Marie then caned Francine. Babyfaces came out to save and in an impromptu tag, Lynn and Super Crazy beat Credible and Storm when Lynn rolled up Credible. The Dudley Boyz then attacked them and said that makes them even. Credible says they want the Tag Titles too and want the Dudleys to win the belts for them (WUT), and RVD came out to accept by himself. It became RVD vs. D-Von for the Tag Titles and with that, Joey throws it to commercial.

Match #2: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. D-Von Dudley [ECW World Tag Team Championships]
Fonzie and the Dudley crew are both at ringside, obviously. This is good enough. RVD takes lots of big bumps, and D-Von does his thing well enough. RVD does stuff, but neither of them is exactly trying super hard considering how this is clearly just a match break in the middle of some angles. RVD has it won with the Van Daminator, but Bubba takes out the ref. He takes out the next two refs too, but Jim Molineaux is finally up. RVD keeps kicking out of Dudleys stuff and it goes on forever. Lance Storm pushes RVD off the top rope though, and then he loses to the 3D.
**1/4

Credible comes out with the cane and they come in to get the titles but Sabu runs in to stop it with his jaw taped. He fights everyone, but Credible canes him and then Fonzie. They hold their hands out for the titles, AND THE DUDLEYS GIVE THEM THE DOUBLE BIRDS AND LEAVE WITH THE BELTS. YEAH.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
April 30th, 1999
Queens, NY

Match #1: Jerry Lynn vs. TAKA Michinoku

This is JIP, but we get 7 awesome minutes. Jerry actually hangs with TAKA on a pure spot level since he's more willing to kill himself here and actually try new things. He has no idea how to really tie them together well so his stuff against lesser people suffers, but TAKA is a pro at this style, so he gets everything in order and this is great. Lynn is a dummy and tries matwork, but TAKA puts a stop to that and they do more cool stuff. Lynn gets the win with the Cradle Piledriver.
***

In the parking lot, Don Callis tries to interview Taz. He says Chris Candido is here and in a halo, and Taz says that's a shame that he got in his business in Philly then and he had to do that. He keeps asking questions, so Taz asks if he's ever been choked out, so Callis backs off.

In the ring, Joey Styles opens the show and Chris Candido and Tammy come out. Candido is in a halo and the fans chant the goodbye song. He has the mic on the floor and says although entertaining you assholes has been his life, he doesn't really care what they say right now because he has to face the reality of breaking his neck twice. Taz comes out and into the ring and says there's no respect in New York. Candido says it's not about New York and he might not be able to come out and say he's sorry because he's got a rep, but he'd like him to look him in the eyes and get this. He wants him to look and see what he did, and Taz says he put himself in that halo by trying him. Taz's heel turn here RULES! Taz says he tried him, he failed, and he did him, and it's the end of it. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. Candido says obviously everything in his life is wrestling and he can't be a man, and Taz challenges him to get in so he can choke him out again. Candido says he knows he can't, but until he gets better, they're going to manage some people and he's got someone to fight Taz for the belt, and Taz says to bring it on.

AND STEVE CORINO COMES OUT!

Taz asks if he's ribbing him or if this is real. He asks if he wants to say something before this, and hands Corino the mic. He says he's been thinking of a way to prove to all his people in NYC tonight how tough he is, and says this whole Taz thing is the biggest sham he's ever seen. Corino says he's in a good mood, so if Taz puts the title at his feet and walks away, he won't embarrass him in front of all these people. He says he'll give him five seconds to leave with his pride so he can celebrate with the people of New York. He gets to one, AND TAZ SLAPS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. BUT CANDIDO COMES IN WITHOUT THE HALO AND ATTACKS TAZ FROM BEHIND! YEAH! AWESOME ANGLE. POWERBOMB ON TAZ, AND CORINO HOLDS TAZ FOR THE FLYING HEADBUTT!

Match #2: Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano vs. Nova
This happens. Sal interferes a lot and Guido is solid as usual. Nova somehow takes them both out as a way to remind me that ECW is still really flawed on the undercard, and Nova beats Guido with the Kryptonite Krunch, a bastardized Air Raid Crash.
*3/4

In the back, Joey says it's now Taz/Candido on Hardcore Heaven, and sells it as a total massacre on PPV. Great.

Match #3: Lance Storm vs. Tommy Dreamer
Dawn Marie and Francine are at ringside. This gets a lot more than the four minutes of their last TV match, and it's good stuff. There's some wonderful WONDERFUL stalling early on with Francine and Dawn pulling their skirts up for pops before Lance cheap shots Tommy. Lance isn't distracted by dem asses because he is gay and faggot. They do some cool quality low-grade weapons stuff, CATFIGHT, etc. Tommy wins with a DVD through a table in the corner.
**1/2

Tommy goes to leave, but Credible runs out and canes him on the floor. He and Jazz bring Francine in the ring and they hold her for Dawn Marie to very weakly cane in the face. Shane Douglas hits the ring but has an ankle cast and Lance canes him in the leg. Lance hits Tommy with the DDT as Credible knocks Shane down with a cane shot to the face. Jason brings a cinder block out, and he puts it over Tommy's crotch for Lance to drive it in with a chair shot! Credible and Lance celebrate again in the ring.

In the back, Joey plugs the PPV card with Taz/Candido and RVD/Lynn II, and announces TAKA vs. Super Crazy! FUCK YEAH! Also, The Dudley Boyz vs. Balls/Axl in an Extreme Deathmatch for the Tag Titles.

In the ring, the Dudley Boyz have the mic. Bubba says he is without a doubt the undisputed and uncrowned World Television Champion as well. He says he's the one that actually pinned Rob Van Dam last week, and D-Von says they both covered him. D-Von said he had the actual match. They argue about who should be the TV Champion and Bubba says D-Von does the lifting, but he's the one who does the cutting. D-Von says they are blood brothers, but he's better looking. Bubba says maybe to a fat white girl, and D-Von says fat chicks need loving too. He says he's the champ, and they argue again until Fonzie comes out. He says RVD's gonna come out now and smoke their ass, and RVD comes out. He walks around the ring to end the show, and it's decided Bubba will get the title shot...NEXT WEEK.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
May 7th, 1999
Ft. Lauderdale, FL


On the back, Cyrus is with Steve Corino and says he had to interview someone here to justify getting paid to hang out on the beach. Cyrus says he's got a lot of heat with the boys, especially Taz, and it takes a lot of guts to make a name for himself like this. Corino is terrified and Cyrus says he's the mastermind behind Candido's ruse and Corino starts crying and says all he wanted to do was wrestle Taz and he even brought Candido flowers and candy because of his broken neck. He says he was duped and this was all Candido and he loves Taz. He wants to be like him and be big and say "YO BRUTHA" and be Champion, and it's all Candido's fault. He says he hopes Taz chokes him out and Cyrus hugs him and asks if he wants to work in Puerto Rico or Memphis instead.

In the parking lot, Judge Jeff Jones asks Taz about Candido. Taz laughs and says he really took it to him and says by golly, it's time to work hard and give him a run for his money, pal. He then drops it and chokes Jeff and says what he feels right now is what Candido's in store and tells him to tell Candido that this is what he's got coming tenfold on the sixteenth. He then shoves Jeff Jones in the trunk of his car. TAZ, BAD DECISION.

Taz comes out to the ring before the dark matches for this taping, and he gets on the mic. Bill Wiles is working on the ring and tries to say he has work to do. He says he just needs ten minutes and asks if he can come back, so Taz knocks him out with the title, and says it's time for a little talk. He asks the ring crew guy what he thinks about Candido laying him out in Queens and hits him when eh doesn't respond. Taz asks why people keep trying him and hits him again. He says he's personally giving Candido notice that at Hardcore Heaven, he's putting him out of ECW. Because he's Taz. The World Heavyweight Champion. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Bubba Ray Dudley [ECW Television Championship]
Fonzie and D-Von are ringside, and this is from Queens. Much like RVD/D-Von, this is perfectly solid but doesn't stand out in any way. This is less of an angle intermission and more of an RVD showcase and actual match, so it's better than the D-Von match. RVD hits the Van Daminator and Fart Star Frog Splash for the win.
**1/2

D-Von attacks post-match and they lay out RVD, but Jerry Lynn comes out to save. Except then he also hits RVD with a chair. Justin Credible and Lance Storm come to attack Lynn, and Sabu runs out. He attacks everyone and Joey yells that he's risking his career now. Sabu rolls out of the way of a Legdrop through the table, but Sign Guy Dudley eats it instead. Credible and Lance end up staring down the Dudleys and they fight. Sabu dives on everyone, and then RVD dives on them too.

In the back, Joey announces Dreamer/Storm and Credible/Douglas for Hardcore Heaven.

Before the main event, Credible challenges Lynn to put his TV Title shot on the line, and Lynn accepts.

Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible w/ Jason & Jazz
Credible is sucking on the regular again. The worst of it is his new groundbreaking bump where instead of tumbling over something like the turnbuckles or railing when going over them, he refuses to make contact and just nonchalantly jumps over them instead. Their moves are fine, and Credible doing the Razor's Edge to antagonize Shane Douglas was a nice little thing. These two continue to work a fine midcard match as nothing stands out and most of the stuff is super bland, but then it's in the main event now so it's a lot more upsetting when the fail to do good stuff. Lynn wins with the Cradle Piledriver after fighting off the dog and pony show.
**1/2

Lance Storm attacks Lynn, and Tommy runs out to save. Dawn distracts Tommy, and Lance takes him out to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
May 14th, 1999
Philadelphia, PA


The show cuts in with Chris Chetti being put on a stretcher while he's in a neck brace, and Chris Candido was his opponent when this happened. Candido runs and attacks Chetti on the stretcher and rolls him in, but Taz comes out to save. Candido and Tammy run away. Taz gets on the mic and says on Candido's best day he can't beat him and then Taz chokes out his own worthless cousin and says if he does that to him, he's going to destroy Candido the next time he sees him.

After the opening, Joey introduces the show and Justin Credible, Jason, and Jazz come out. He says he'd never lie to the people in his life and he has an announcement that will shock the world, but brings out his partner Lance Storm first. Lance has a document and they've banned Sabu from wrestling, because the nation is following suit with the NY Athletic Commission.

Match #1: Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano vs. El Mosco de la Merced
Fun spotfest, but nothing groundbreaking since it's Guido and he clashes a lot with the foreign guys. Sal interferes a lot, and Guido catches Mosco coming off the top with a Powerbomb, and puts on the Sicilian Crab for the win. Weird finish after all the super high impact stuff.
**1/2

In the back, RVD and Fonzie are standing by. Fonzie yells that Justin Credible doesn't know what he's doing, and now he's upset a man who's suicidal, homicidal, and genocidal, and he's barked up the wrong tree. He says Sabu is coming to kick his ass, and RVD sells being distraught about it, but says he'll try to pull it together for the PPV to give his fans what they want, since he is Mr. PPV. He says it doesn't matter if the show is new or old, because it's still all about him, the Whole Fucking Show.

Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri/TAKA Michinoku vs. Super Crazy/Nova
Couldn't have picked anyone else? Couldn't have run Guido/Nova and put Mosco in here? Fuck you so much, Paul. God damnit. Tajiri and TAKA basically do what they can with him, and then both of them kill it against Crazy. Nevermind, as the FBI takes out Nova immediately as this is JIP. AND SPIKE COMES OUT TO REPLACE HIM. SO MUCH BETTER. DIVES. HIGH SPOTS. HUGE POPS AND POOPS. Tajiri murders spike in the crowd and Tajiri hits a Roundhouse to Crazy from the apron to knock him back into the Michinoku Driver for the three.
**3/4

In a pretape, Tommy Dreamer cuts a serious promo with his stupid serious voice. He says Lance Storm has it all, but he never wants to face him one on one, because he's yellow. He says he wants Dawn Marie too since they want to get personal. He says he always gets his rat, and he wants her now, and he's going to make her look in his eyes, put her head in between his legs, and kiss her ass goodbye.

In the ring, Axl and Balls want a title shot tonight, and Sign Guy Dudley is in the ring. He says he's held his silence long enough and says they get no title shot tonight, because they're not hardcore, they're wannabes, and there's nothing they can do to get his brothers in the ring. Balls kills him with a chair shot so the Dudleys get in the ring.

In a pretape, Dawn Marie says she's so confident Tommy won't get her up that she won't even wear panties at Hardcore Heaven, and if he gets her, then he gets all of her.

Match #3: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney [ECW World Tag Team Championship]
This isn't much. Tag wrestling in ECW in 1999 really fucking blows since these are the only two real teams. Mostly clipped outside the arena brawl, which probably means it wasn't that good. The Dudleys bring barbed wire in and wear burlap gloves when handling it, which such an amazing heel trick that I'd never seen before. Balls gets a lighter and tries to blow fire, but they move and it gets near Axl's face. Balls then gets kicked in his name and hit with the 3D to lose.
*1/2

A hype video for the PPV airs, set to "Faith" by Limp Bizkit. 1999, everybody.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

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ECW HARDCORE HEAVEN 1999
MAY 16TH, 1999
POUGHKEEPSIE, NY


Chris Candido and Tammy come out to open the show and Joey says the main event isn't up for another two and a half hours. Candido says everything in wrestling now is quick and fast paced and full of interference, and that's what he's going to give the fans tonight. He brings out his insurance policy, The Dudley Boyz, and says Taz likes to attack from behind like every other snake in the grass in the state of New York, so when he does, they're going to beat him up and throw him on top and he's going to be the new champion. Taz comes out and the match is on.

Match #1: Taz [c] vs. Chris Candido w/ Tammy Lynn Sytch & The Dudley Boyz [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This is a minute long squash, but it was a pretty awesome one, since Candido looked like he died on each throw Taz gave him. Taz puts on the Tazmission for the win.
*

Taz gets up, but is immediately hit with the 3D. Taz gets helped to the back and he has trouble standing and is holding his neck.

At the commentary booth, Cyrus joins Joey Styles! YEAH! He says not to worry, since he has creative control of their characters.

In the ring, Bubba brags about all the people they've put out, and he issues an open challenge. Balls Mahoney comes out by himself, and after a few minutes of fighting, Spike Dudley comes out too, and it's a match for the belts.

Match #2: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. Balls Mahoney/Spike Dudley [ECW World Tag Team Championship]
This is short and relatively simple, but the last half was pretty memorable and good, so I guess this did a fine job. Spike dies off of the Superbomb through a table and then the 3D, but Balls saves with chair shots. Gertner causes a distraction to save the Dudleys and he tries to throw matches at Balls to mock the fire blowing. Balls blows fire that sends Gertner down. Medics rush down as Gertner is blinded, but D-Von hits Balls in his first name, and Balls is then hit with the 3D for the win.
**1/2

Match #3: Super Crazy vs. TAKA Michinoku

This ruled! Super Crazy and TAKA are elite level spot workers at this point, maybe only topped in the entire world by Liger, Tajiri, and Hayashi. They did cool dives and shit, but what makes this great and makes it memorable to me is that they actually had a focus that played into stuff. Crazy dropkicked TAKA's leg out on the apron in the middle, and TAKA sold it all match. Crazy worked on it as a result, and TAKA sold it on his comeback. He still hit his stuff, but struggled with it and the knee stopped him from following up and thus winning. He couldn't cover after one Michinoku Driver, and Super Crazy was able to get out of a second. He hit a Powerbomb as a counter to something and then hit a Ricola Bomb for the win!
***

A recap of RVD/Lynn at Living Dangerously airs.

In the back, The Dudley Boyz tend to a blinded Gertner, but they find a hit list in his pocket. Nova is on it first, and they ask why. Bubba decides he doesn't care, and they go off. Nova is around the corner and the camera man finds them beating up Nova while Bubba yells "YOU SON OF A BITCH NOVA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S FOR, BUT YOU'RE GETTING IT. BROTHER GERTNER SAID SO!"

Match #4: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
This was awesome, but less so than Crazy/TAKA, since Guido holds it back. He's basically the Rocky Romero of his time, as he can do all these different styles, but refuses to commit and is just this weird mash of everything. He starts with shoot-style and striking stuff and targets the arm, but then starts jumping around and lets it go, and comes back to hard hitting at the end. Tajiri makes this great through force of will and striking though and hits a near Corino/Homicide level slap in the finishing run. He hits the Brainbuster to win.
***

A Dreamer/Lance recap airs, set to Tommy's horrible video song.

In the back, The Dudley Boyz have the list and now Sign Guy brings them cash from Gertner. D-Von says Rod Price is next. Bubba says he kind of likes Rod, but D-Von says there's three grand here, so Bubba says he never liked that stupid country boy. They find Rod and beat the shit out of him while Bubba yells that it's not personal and Brother Gertner told them so.

Match #5: Tommy Dreamer vs. Lance Storm
Francine and Dawn are ringside. Lance is dressed in street clothes. This is a lesser version of Dreamer/Credible from January, which almost pains me to say. But Lance is clearly not as comfortable with this and it shows, since they just do a bunch of stuff without a lot of reason. A lot of it is pretty sloppy too. The girls get involved at the end, and Dawn is in fact wearing panties. That fucking cock tease. Catfight happens, and Lance hits Dreamer with a trash can. He puts it over his head and hits a Spinning Wheel Kick off the top to win.
**3/4

In the back, the Dudley Boyz read the list, and Jack Victory is next. Bubba says he's their boy, and he was with them in New Orleans when they broke Beulah's neck. D-Von opens the envelope and says there's five grand here. Bubba tilts his head and deadpans "Oh my god. Poor Jack Victory is dead man." and starts cracking up. They find Jack Victory in the back, and he says he loved what they did to Taz. He hugs D-Von and D-Von says he's next, and Bubba hits him in the back with a chair. They beat on his bad leg. Bubba yells that cash rules everything around them and says there's not a man in the damn world that can stand up to the Dudley Boyz.

In the back, Taz says he disagrees and he's gonna take them out tonight and make them tap.

Match #6: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Jerry Lynn [ECW Television Championship - No Time Limit]
I gave this a fair shake, I swear. Their first match was a classic for this style. They used the usual spots in a way that actually told a story and made Jerry Lynn a star. But it's seemingly a total fluke as they go out and try to have a classic on purpose now. There's not a ton of story with this stuff and it's just a bunch of counters for 27 minutes. They have some teases of smart work, like RVD not wanting to work the match like last time so he broke out big stuff early, but it ended up having no real effect on how the match was wrestled. There's not any kind of real flow either, since stuff that could and should be important, like Lynn's horrible fall to the floor that knocks him out, is blown off within minutes of getting back in as it remains perfectly even. That's insane. They botch stuff near the end, but RVD ends up pulling it off with the Five Star Frog Splash. The one impressive thing they did was making this not feel as long as it was, but otherwise this is a match that abandons a good story and psychology for the sake of a bunch of spots in a thoughtless manner, and a match that because of the insane acclaim it got, was a bad influence on an entire generation. This sucked, the first match was worlds better.
**

RVD actually high fives Lynn after the match.

In the back, Big Dick Dudley brings them Chris Chetti, and Bubba says Taz doesn't give a shit about his cousin. D-Von says he doesn't either and gives him the best punch D-Von's ever thrown, but he hurts his hand doing it. Chetti is dead, but D-Von hurt his hand, so it's just Taz vs. Bubba. Bubba beats up Chetti for breaking his brother's hand.

A video airs of Justin Credible's accomplishments. LOOK AT ALL THE HEEL STUFF HE'S DONE. GOD DAMNIT, FUCKING BOO HIM ALREADY JESUS. This is like stumbling on that e-fed where Phenetic was actually a top guy.

In the back, Joey Styles says that Shane Douglas is not here tonight and it's doubtful that he'll ever be back in ECW. I WIN. I BEAT HIM. Joey says Justin has no opponent right now, but someone has to want to shut him up, since Justin's going out for PPV spotlight anyways.

Justin Credible comes out with Jason and Jazz, and Joey frames it as Shane Douglas leaving because of the beatings he's taken at the hands of Credible. This asshole gets on the mic and says he has one thing to say to the millions of loyal Justin Credible fans and says he's the guy that grounded Great Sasuke, who caned The Sandman out of ECW and took the name of Hardcore Icon, and he broke the ankle of that has-been Shane Douglas in his hometown. He says he's a one man crime spree and he's guiltier than OJ and there's no justice system that can stop him. YES. BUT JUDGE JEFF JONES COMES OUT AND SAYS HE FINDS HIM GUILTY AS CHARGED.

AND HE'S GOING TO BE EXECUTED BY THE MAN.

SID'S HERE.

Match #7: Sid vs. Justin Credible
This is 2 minutes of Sid offense, so I loved it. He hits Jason with the Powerbomb, and hits Phen with the Chokeslam. He sets him up for the Powerbomb, but Lance Storm runs down and attacks Sid for the DQ.
*

SO SID CHOKESLAMS LANCE STORM TOO. YEAH. Credible throws powder in Sid's eyes though and they team up on Sid. They get him down with a low blow and Credible puts a table up on the ramp. They put Sid on it, BUT SABU COMES OUT! SABU THROWS CHAIRS AND PUTS CREDIBLE ON THE TABLE. ARABIAN LEGDROP PUTS SID THROUGH, BUT LANCE PULLS CREDIBLE AWAY AND THEY RUN. SABU'S DEAD NOW. Security takes him away since he's banned from appearing at the arena. Dis Sid/Sabu tease. BUT SABU PUTS SECURITY THROUGH A TABLE TOO. AWESOME. Sabu finally gets taken away.

Sid gets up in the ring because FUCK selling any of that more than a minute, and he is mad. Judge Jeff Jones tries to calm him down when Sid looks like he's going to kill him AND SID POWERBOMBS JUDGE JEFF JONES. YEAH. FUCK YEAH! WHO WANTS A FIST BUMP? THE CROWD CHANTS "ONE MORE TIME!" AS THE LOUDEST THING ALL NIGHT, SO SID HITS ANOTHER POWERBOMB.

Match #8: Taz [c] vs. Bubba Ray Dudley w/ Sign Guy Dudley [ECW World Heavyweight Championship - FTW Rules]
Solid little main event, but nothing more than that. ECW's streak of really average ECW Title main events to PPVs continues, proudly dating back to every fucking PPV they've ever run besides Barely Legal. I can't even blame that all on Shane, that's on Taz now too. They do a shitty arena brawl, but it gets better in the ring when they do suplexes and weapon stuff. Taz wins with the Tazmission.
**1/4




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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
May 21st, 1999
Poughkeepsie, NY


HEATWAVE 1999: JULY 18TH!

A recap of RVD/Lynn airs, set to "The Unforgiven".

Balls' fire blowing on Gertner airs.

Clips of New Jack vs. Balls from Queens airs, and it's chopped to shit. New Jack does his balcony dive, but Balls wins with the Nutcracker Suite.

In a pretape, Dave Prazak's dad goes over the PPV, and Steve Corino sits down next to him and asks what the best part of the PPV was. Prazak says the fact that Steve wasn't on it, and Corino asks if he saw how many asses he kicked in the back. He shows off his backstage passes to the show and Prazak says those are crew passes and they belong to someone named Ron. Corino says he kicked Ron's ass. Corino says he was the man, and asks if Prazak is calling him a liar. He says he doesn't like anyone else using the name Steve either and challenges him to fight. He says he's getting tired of people like him in ECW not respecting him, but trips on the mic cord on his way out. This is so great.

A recap of Tommy/Lance airs.

A recap of Sid/Justin and the Sabu stuff airs.

In the back, Cyrus is with Justin Credible and Lance Storm. He says he doesn't want to have heat, but the higher ups say that this is the greatest tag team in ECW and future champions. Lance says that's the truth and the Dudleys avoid them like the plague. Tommy Dreamer had the guts to face him, but he could only beat up a woman and not him. Shane Douglas ran away. And he doesn't sweat Sid, because he's from Calgary, Alberta, Canada and they don't sweat anybody. Credible says he gets that Sabu isn't real smart, but he's done in the United States. He says he ruined their parade when they beat Sid down and says this is the greatest tag team in wrestling and the next champions. That's not just the coolest or the best, that's just incredible.

A recap of the Taz/Dudz stuff airs.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Skull Von Krush [ECW Television Championship]
This is from Philly. SVK gets a lot of offense and RVD goes out of his way to make him look good for some reason, including taking a fucking Powerbomb on the concrete which is a lot even for ECW. They go on far too long with Skull's control stuff though, since he's really not good enough to warrant a long heel control segment. Comeback happens as does other stuff, and RVD hits the Frog splash to win.
**1/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
May 28th, 1999
Detroit, MI


In the back, Axl and Balls cut a promo. They say they've been chasing the titles for years and it's been in matches all over the country, and they're bringing the belts home for the people all around the world and here in Detroit and he says if they don't win, they'll bring the violence to the next TV tapings in Dalton. Joey says if they don't win, they'll fight each other at the next TV taping in Dalton, GA.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Spike Dudley [ECW Television Championship]
Battle Creek, MI is still nowhere near "down the road" from Detroit. It's down a highway about 2-3 hours away, on the other side of the state. This is totally an RVD showcase and really didn't need to be a title match. I appreciate how RVD defends the title all the time on TV, but sometimes it doesn't need to be on the line here and against dudes like Skull. Spike doesn't get to do a whole lot, and RVD wins with the Five Star Frog Splash.
**1/4

Match #2: Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie vs. Chris Chetti

During Storm's entrance, Joey says that Lance and Credible have been the impact players lately. This is another showcase of a top star, but this doesn't pretend to be a real match, so that's good. Lance wipes Chetti out with a Spinning Wheel Kick off the top for the win.
*3/4

R.I.P. Owen Hart

Before the main event, Joel Gertner gets on the mic and has this ridiculous full face cast on, and can't see. Sign Guy has to turn him toward the hard cam, and he does his schtick but no words can really be made out. Fucking outstanding. Axl and Balls come out and challenge them to make it Falls Count Anywhere, and it's made.

Match #3: The Dudley Boyz [c] w/ Joel Gertner & Sign Guy Dudley vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney [ECW World Tag Team Championship - Falls Count Anywhere]
The stip ruins it, as it commits them to an arena brawl and these teams are clearly not great at the arena brawl schtick. They get good back in the ring, but immediately jump into the finishing run stuff. Axl is cuffed to the ropes in the corner, and Balls hits both champions with the Nutcracker Suite. Sign Guy causes the distraction now, and barely avoids the fire. The Dudleys debut the table on fire here, and they hit a Tandem Powerbomb on Balls through the fire table to win.
*3/4

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
June 4th, 1999
Detroit, MI


In the parking lot, Cyrus tries to interview Steve Corino and he says he doesn't want anymore heat. Corino has a Taz shirt on to suck up and Cyrus puts him over for getting off that Candido bandwagon so quick, and Corino says he's a huge Taz mark and he should be his protege and shave his head and do moves he can't pronounce. He crosses his arms and yells YO BRUTHA, and Cyrus says Taz isn't even here tonight and Corino says he was going to take him to school tonight. Cyrus says Paul wants to see him, so Corino yells that he's getting a push and walks off. Taz then arrives and makes Cyrus and the camera man get in the car. Taz says he sees what his deal is, stirring the pot and stooging stuff off. Taz says he needs someone to tell him who's talking about him behind his back and they can work together. Cyrus says he should hear Corino talk and Taz drops him back off at the arena. Cyrus gets out and Taz calls him a stupid son of a bitch.

Match #1: Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano vs. Nova
This happens. Sal puts Nova through a table. Guido wins with the Sicilian Crab.
*1/2

Guido won't let go, and Tajiri comes out looking pissed. He kills Guido with a Roundhouse Kick and kills Sal too.

In the back, Steve Corino is in his gear now and has a bunch of FTW stickers on his suitcase and boots. Cyrus says Taz is going to love this, and since Taz isn't here, he has an idea. He says he has a match tonight and what he should do is do some of Taz's Suplexes, since Taz won't see this for a month anyways and loves stuff like that. He says he's Taz tonight, and Corino then puts a towel on his head and does Taz's pose again. Cyrus says to go get himself over tonight.

Match #2: Super Crazy vs. TAKA Michinoku
Fun match, but pretty clearly held back for TV and shorter and without any of the cool knee stuff. They do lots of spots and Super Crazy wins with the Ricola Bomb.
**1/2

Match #3: Steve Corino vs. Tom Marquez

This is an angle and it's like a minute. Corino does a T-Bone Suplex and does Taz's pose. In the back, Cyrus tells Taz, and he comes out to the ring and it ends.
Buttshit

Corino gets the mic and says he didn't know he was here and begs not to kill him and he didn't mean any disrespect. He pleads for his life and says he has a wife and child. Taz shakes his head and Corino says he thinks his appendix is acting up and he ruptured it again. He says his best friend will kick his ass for that title now, because Taz is a dumb son of a bitch, and he brings out Chris Candido again! YEAH! Candido comes out and Corino runs out of the ring.

Match #4: Taz [c] vs. Chris Candido w/ Steve Corino [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This is maybe two and a half minutes and another fun squash. Taz dumps Candido on his head a bunch, and makes him tap to the Tazmission.
*3/4

In the back, Taz thanks Cyrus for stooging, and Taz walks away. Taz calls Cyrus a stupid son of a bitch after he walks to the locker room, and the camera switches to Cyrus who also calls him a stupid son of a bitch. Joey asks if maybe Corino is the mastermind.

Justin Credible and Jason come out, and Credible gets on the mic. He says he came here for one reason only, and says he ran Sid out of town at the PPV and he came to this piece of crap burned down city to face the nephew of the great legendary Sheik, Sabu. He then brags about Sabu being banned and said he'd cane the crap out of him if he could show up. He says the next time Sabu gets in his face, he'll show him what extreme is all about, but he's too much of a pussy to show up. Some black dude in an ECW ref outfit comes out and says Detroit is NOT honoring the ban on Sabu because Detroit is barely America according to this logic, AND SABU COMES OUT! YEAH! They do the intros but more referees come out and Jim Molineaux says this match can't happen and Sabu has to be banned still. Sabu hits a ref and puts him through a table on the floor, and then Sabu and Credible get pulled apart to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
June 11th, 1999
Dalton, GA


A rundown of all the Taz/Cyrus/Corino stuff opens the show.

In the back, Joey Styles announces that Heatwave will return to Dayton, OH this year. Highlights of Heatwave 1998 then air and between these two video packages, they kill 20 minutes of an hour long show.

Match #1: TAKA Michinoku vs. El Mosco de la Merced
Fun stuff, but more of a blatant TAKA showcase than an even match like Crazy/Mosco, and it was only five minutes on top of that. But still, TAKA is TAKA, and his offense is all real good. TAKA wins with the Michinoku Driver.
**

In a pretape, Tommy Dreamer cuts a promo. He says he's had numbness in his leg and his foot and tingling in his hand, so he went to get an MRI. He got the results today, and he has two bulging discs in his back. He says he misses being injured, that roar of the crowd and everything. He says Jerry Lynn's coming back from injury tonight too, and he puts him over for getting over the old fashioned way. He says he couldn't even stand up at Hardcore Heaven and Lance Storm was the better man. But he's not the one who injured him, because being in wars for 6 years is what did this to him, and when he gets back, he's going to close his mouth.

After the break, Lance Storm comes on the phone and says he IS the better man, but he's the better man every night. He got more extreme than Tommy Dreamer and he beat him at his own game. He tells him to enjoy his vacation and as for Jerry Lynn, he got back early because he's a great athlete, unlike Tommy Dreamer. He says Jerry's probably the best athlete in this sport besides he and Justin Credible, and he wishes him luck and says he owes him one.

In the back, the Dudleys are looking for Balls Mahoney since he's all alone and beat the shit out of him in the shower.

On the phone, Lance Storm says the Dudleys are walking around with their belts.

Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. Tony DeVito w/ Bill Wiles
FUCK YEAH TONY DEVITO'S HERE. Joey sells Tony as a NE indy stand out, which rules. Lynn does his thing for a few minutes and gives DeVito some stuff before he wins with the Cradle Piledriver.
**

In the back, RVD is by the curtain. They exchange pleasantries and RVD says Lynn's very respectable lately. Lynn says respect is nice, but asks for a rematch at Heatwave. RVD laughs and Fonzie says everyone wants the champ, but Lynn's just bitter. Lynn says he's better, not bitter. RVD's music hits and he says that's him, but he'll make time for him some day.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
June 18th, 1999
Columbia, SC


In the back, Dave Prazak's dad is with Balls Mahoney. Balls says he's going to find the Dudleys and make some news right now. Balls finds security and the guy says he's not allowed to let Sabu in the building and he has to isolate the Dudley Boyz. Balls argues about his and says they jumped him last week. Balls tries to get at someone past security that we can't see, BUT BALLS TURNS INTO A CHAIR SHOT FROM D-VON! YEAH! The security team then gets the Dudley Boyz out of there and Bubba yells that that's two.

In the ring, Steve Corino is on the mic and says this region has so much history and lists Johnny Valentine, Wahoo McDaniel, Ricky Steamboat, and the Social Security office favorite, Ric Flair! He says they were all great champions of the past but everyone is looking at the new age World Heavyweight Champion, and he's Steve Corino, the next ECW Champion and he's in the greatest shape of his life. Taz comes out and Corino says someone stooged him some wrong information and says he's not supposed to be here. Corino says he's having an appendix attack again and he's gonna throw up. He asks him not to kill him and Taz takes the towel off. Corino says there's peace in Kosovo now, so they can get along too. He says if he wasn't in such bad shape, he thinks he could beat him. He asks if people want to see a World Title match, and says he does too, and he says to hit his man's music. Nobody comes out and Corino says he's gonna pee himself, and Taz says this is the only hitting, AND TAZ FINALLY HITS CORINO! Taz stomps on him, but Spike Dudley comes out for his title match, and Corino is able to roll out.

Match #1: Taz [c] vs. Spike Dudley [ECW World Heavyweight Championship - FTW Rules]
Awesome Taz showcase, and this stupid stip involves another arena brawl. Why does everyone in FUCKING ECW now suck at these? It's just a lot of shitty punches and dragging each other as they walk to give the illusion of chaos, but nothing actually happens until they get back over the railing. When they do that, Spike DIES, so that rules. Taz eventually chokes him out to win.
**

As Jerry Lynn enters, Joey says it was Lance Storm who drove Jerry to the hospital after Hardcore Heaven and asks if he and Justin are in Jerry Lynn's ear leading to his recent aggression since starting the series with RVD.

Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. David Kash
IT'S KID KASH! This is a Lynn showcase again, but Justin Credible and Jason come to ringside with a cell phone. Kash is a solid heel here, which is why it makes no sense that he worked as a face exclusively in ECW. It also shows potential for the surprisingly good Lynn/Kash stuff in TNA. Lynn actually sells the aggression with good violent stuff on the floor, so good for him. Credible and Jason go to the back as Jason talks on the phone, probably to Lance Storm. KID KASH GETS AN OLD LADY TO SWING AT HIM. Lynn wins with the Cradle Piledriver.
**

Lynn pulls him up and hits a second one.

In the back, Danny Doring talks about the tradition of tag teams in the Carolinas. He asks Roadkill to give a shout out, and he yells CHICKENS.

Match #3: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [Three Way Dance]
This wasn't supposed to gave Guido in it, but he and Sal jumped Tajiri and he got put in. It's all Guido vs. Super Crazy as Tajiri is tended to. Super Crazy does what he can, but Guido's gonna Guido and refuse to commit to one style in an annoying way. Tajiri gets back in to break the Sicilian Crab, and the ref makes it a three way. Guido gets beat with the Triple Moonsault, and then Tajiri immediately hits Crazy with the Brainbuster to win.
**1/4

After the break, The Dudley Boyz are berating the crowd but Justin Credible and Jason come out. He says he'd love to know why the hell they're making a big deal about beating Rob Van Dam for those titles because he could beat RVD all by himself. Credible says those tag titles are coming around he and Lance Storm's waist soon enough, and says RVD's been ducking his ass since he won that belt, and everyone in ECW knows that he's the true icon here and he's a god damn champion. That's not just the coolest, not just the best. That's Justin Credible. BUT FONZIE COMES OUT! He says Credible's only here because the state police are holding Sabu out, and he's a lucky bitch. He says it's his time to talk right now and in about 10 seconds, RVD is gonna come out and smoke all of their asses! RVD comes out and Credible and Jason leave.

Match #4: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. D-Von Dudley [ECW Television Championship]
Fonzie and the Dudleys are ringside. Solid little thing, but nothing really special because RVD is the king of measuring his efforts based on the show. Surprisingly, this picks up when the booking happens. Justin Credible comes back out and canes Bubba! D-Von goes after him and Jason and the Duds' managers get in on it, AND RVD DIVES ON EVERYONE! Coming back, Credible and Jason are gone. The Dudleys team up on RVD, but Balls comes out and kills them with chair shots. He holds the chair instead of Fonzie, and RVD hits the top rope Van Daminator and the Five Star Frog Splash to win.
**1/4

RVD and Balls argue after the match.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
June 25th, 1999
Villa Park, IL


Spanish Angel comes out with Jack Victory in a wheelchair, and Joey says he's managing Angel.

Match #1: Skull Von Krush vs. Spanish Angel w/ Jack Victory
This is about thirty seconds of nothing before Taz comes out and kills them both.
BRUTHA

Taz gets on the mic and Jack Victory stands up to beat on Angel. Taz tells him to get his ass back in that seat before he puts him there forever. Taz says he's in a very bad mood tonight because he doesn't have anybody to kill tonight and Corino comes out and says to beat him if he can and survive if he lets you. He asks how many more times they have to hear it, and Taz says as many more times as he wants to say it. Corino has someone behind him and says everyone here is just like Taz, real stupid. He says this is all part of the plan and he and Jack Victory have had this plan for a long time. He says just like Dr. Frankenstein, he and Jack Victory have developed a killer and in the tradition of Dick the Bruiser and the Crusher, they have their own Taz Killer! THEY HAVE THEIR OWN ONE MAN RIOT SQUAD, BECAUSE HE GIVES YOU RHINO! YEAH!

Match #1: Taz [c] vs. Rhino [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This is three minutes and it's a Taz showcase, but Rhino looks good taking all the offense. Taz hits a Half Nelson Suplex through a table in the corner and then puts on the Tazmission for the win.
*1/2

Post-match, Taz throws Rhino through the rest of the table in the corner. Taz gets on the mic and yells to BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.

TONIGHT: TAJIRI/GUIDO II! LYNN/CREDIBLE IN A TV TITLE #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH! LYNN OWES LANCE STORM A FAVOR?!?!

Match #3: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
Tajiri does the best possible job that he can of putting this asshole over and gets another great match out of it. Sal interferes a lot and Tajiri just slaps and kicks the shit out of Guido throughout and pretty much destroys him with a running chair shot down the entrance path, which makes it a little less painful. Sal rams Tajiri's back into the post, and Guido puts on the Sicilian Crab on the hurt back to win.
***

FUCK YEAH WWF HOUSE SHOW AD VOICED BY MICHAEL HAYES!

Before Lynn/Credible, Lance Storm and Dawn Marie come out and Lance gets the mic. Lance says Jerry Lynn owes him a favor and he's here to collect. He says this company is about to blow through the roof and take over this industry, and when it does, the fights in the ring will be nothing compared to the fights in the back for power, so he wants to associate himself with guys with stroke and power. His offer is that he associates with them and they take this company over! Lynn says they've gotten opportunities to shine and he's just getting his after 10 years and he wants to earn his respect the old fashioned way. Lance says he can respect that and says Candido had to ditch a yellow mask and the WWF to get his respect, and he hyad to ditch two blond guys named Chris. But he still owes him, so tonight, he's asking him to lay down and do the job again so Justin can get his rightful TV Title shot. Tommy Dreamer and Francine come out and he gets the mic. He says he can't believe he hasn't hit Lance yet and says not to listen. He didn't give him a chance to do that. What the fuck? Tommy is coming out to tell him to do something he was already going to do. Lynn says they both got hurt at Hardcore Heaven, and nobody took him to the hospital, but he collapsed on the locker room floor with blood coming out of his head, and Lance Storm pickedh im up and took him to the ER. Lynn says to mind his own business, no disrespect, but he knows what he's doing. The women try to fight which leads to a pull apart, and Lynn says he'll do it. Tommy gets taken out by security and we go to a break.

Match #4: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible w/ Jason & Jazz [TV Title #1 Contender's Match]
Lynn lays down, but reverse into a cradle for 2, and it's a real match. This was improved a ton by only getting 7-8 minutes, as they didn't get to lose their momentum in the middle like they usually do. They did some cool chair stuff, and when Lynn broke his nose, they did work on the nose which was a neat little thing. Lynn gets out of That's Incredible, and gets a Bridging O'Connor Roll to win.
**1/2

Lance Storm immediately hits the ring to attack and they hit a Spike Cradle Piledriver. Lynn is down and Lance says Lynn still owes him one, so while he's on his way to the hospital, he'll be taking his shot at RVD. Because he's taking the title back to CALGARY, ALBERTA, CANADA. Justin says that's JUST INCREDIBLE.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

TOP 25 MATCHES OF THE HALF-YEAR:

1. Taz [c] vs. Shane Douglas, House Party (January 16th)
2. Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Jerry Lynn, Living Dangerously (March 21st)
3. Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible, Guilty as Charged (January 10th)
4. Yoshihiro Tajiri [2] vs. Super Crazy [3], Hardcore TV (February 25th)
5. Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Lance Storm, Guilty as Charged (January 10th)
6. Super Crazy [4] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [2], Living Dangerously (March 21st)
7. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy, Guilty as Charged (January 10th)
8. Yoshihiro Tajiri [1] vs. Super Crazy [1], Fall River (January 30th)
9. Lance Storm vs. Spike Dudley, Hardcore TV (February 5th)
10. Jerry Lynn vs. TAKA Michinoku, Hardcore TV (April 30th)
11. Super Crazy vs. TAKA Michinoku, Hardcore Heaven (May 16th)
12. Super Crazy vs. Antifaz Del Norte, Hardcore TV (March 26th)
13. Super Crazy vs. El Mosco de la Merced, Cyberslam (April 3rd)
14. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido, Hardcore TV (June 25th)
15. Rob Van Dam [c] vs. 2 Cold Scorpio, Cyberslam (April 3rd)
16. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido, Hardcore Heaven (May 16th)
17. Rob Van Dam/Sabu [c] vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten, House Party (January 16th)
18. Super Crazy vs. Antifaz Del Norte, Hardcore TV (January 1st)
19. Yoshihiro Tajiri [1] vs. Super Crazy, House Party (January 16th)
20. Yoshihiro Tajiri [2] vs. Super Crazy [2], Concord (February 6th)
21. Super Crazy [2] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [1], Hardcore TV (February 5th)
22. Jerry Lynn vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri, Cyberslam (April 3rd)
23. Yoshihiro Tajiri/TAKA Michinoku vs. Super Crazy/Spike Dudley, Hardcore TV (May 14th)
24. Tommy Dreamer vs. Lance Storm, Hardcore Heaven (May 16th)
25. Taz [c] vs. Sabu, Concord (February 6th)

Wrestler of the Half-Year: Super Crazy - 35 Points

Tag Team of the Half-Year: The Dudley Boyz - 10 Points
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
July 2nd, 1999
Villa Park, IL


TONIGHT: RVD VS. LANCE FOR THE TV TITLE!

To open the show, The Dudley Boyz are in the ring. Bubba says this supposed to be the one of the toughest cities in the United States but he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. To he and D-Von, they all look like a bunch of faggots. The found goes out at the crowd's chant, so it must be awesome. Bubba says Chi-Town sucks and this city is full of losers. He says the White Sox suck, and that of course gets a HUGE pop, so they target the Cubs to get all that heat back. IF DICK BUTKUS WAS HERE, HE'D SMACK HIM IN THE HERE, AND D-VON WOULD MAKE MONGO HIS BITCH.

Match #1: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney [ECW World Tag Team Championship - Falls Count Anywhere]
ECW FINALLY puts out a really good tag title brawl. It needed a little longer to be great, but they got some cool crowd stuff for once with Spike's balcony dive. Cheese grators got broken out early on for bloodyness and then there were some really good nearfalls in the ring. The flaming table was broken out, and Balls again got put through it with a Tandem Powerbomb and the Dudleys retained.
**3/4

Match #2: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Lance Storm [ECW Television Championship]

Fonzie and Dawn Marie are on the floor. This is good shit, but nothing really great. RVD and Lance have some cool spots, but it feels like they're holding back because there's an angle coming. Justin Credible interferes with the ref down, AND THE LIGHTS GO OUT! SABU IS IN THE RING WHEN THEY COME BACK ON! FUCK YEAH! He gets rid of Justin Credible AND HITS AIR SABU INTO THE CROWD ON CREDIBLE! SHIT YEAH! AND HE PUTS HIM THROUGH A TABLE TOO FINALLY! Lynn comes out with a chair, and RVD and Lance are both there. RVD ducks a chair shot, and Lance botches grabbing the chair, so Lynn clearly just holds it there and RVD hits the Van Daminator as Lance looks like an idiot holding the chair for him. God damnit. They then sell it like WHO WAS JERRY AIMING AT?! RVD wins with the Five Star Frog Splash.
**1/2

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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
July 9th, 1999
Philadelphia, PA


Francine and Dawn Marie come out for a swimsuit match and yeah, cum. Tommy Dreamer is watching in the Eagle's Nest as Dawn refuses to take her robe off, and she points up there, AND JUSTIN CANES TOMMY FROM BEHIND. Dawn isn't even in a bikini, but they have a catfight. Lance Storm, Justin Credible, and Jason hit the ring and Credible goes to cane her, BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT. SABU IS IN THE RING AND TAKES THEM OUT! They take him down in a 3 on 1 but Jerry Lynn runs out to save with a chair. SABU DIVES ON ALL THE HEELS! FUCK YEAH.

Match #1: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Balls Mahoney [ECW Television Championship]
Another obvious RVD showcase, but it's still another very entertaining one. I like the continued theme in this match up of RVD having to be more athletic than usual to counteract Balls' size and general insanity. Balls had some really nice pieces of offense and KILLS RVD with a chair shot to the top of the head. The Dudley Boyz then come out and attack Balls. He fights back and totally destroys them with unprotected chair shots too. He puts a table up and puts a lot of barbed wire on it. The Dudz light it on fire and Powerbomb Balls through it again. They beat the shit out of him with chairs some more, BUT RVD HITS THEM WITH VAN DAMINATORS! He hits Balls with the Frog Splash to win.
**3/4

In a pretape, Taz cuts a promo. He says this belt is heavy not just because of gold and leather but because it means an entire company is on his back. So he's got this kid Steve Corino running around the country trying to get under his skin, and now everyone knows who he is. He says he loves games though, so he's going to love making him famous. Steve Corino knows who he is, and he doesn't know why he's trying to fuck with him, but he's going to get his hands on him. When that happens, he's going to play with him and trap him and get him. So now they're going to play and asks who he's bringing to Dayton for him to fight, and it's dedicated to his narrow ass. Beat him if you can. Survive if he lets you.

Credible & Lance are supposed to fight Lynn and a mystery partner. Lynn comes by himself. Credible asks where his partner and Lynn says this is a non-sanctioned anything goes match like Credible wanted, SO HIS PARTNER IS SABU! Credible gets on the mic and says Sabu is banned and he doesn't care if the god damn state police have to come out here and he's not getting in the ring with him. Fonzie says this is non-sanctioned and that means it's on.

Match #2: Sabu/Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm/Justin Credible [Non-Sanctioned Match]
Fonzie, Jason, and Dawn are ringside. This is only seven minutes, but it's got a lot of quality stuff once it breaks down. Sabu has a great crowd dive, and Lynn throws Credible off the stage and through a table. Sabu goes to put Credible through a table, but he moves and puts Fonzie on it, so Sabu takes Fonzie out. He canes Sabu in the face and then Lynn in the back as he comes off the ropes, allowing Lance to hit Lynn with the Cradle Piledriver to end the match.
**1/2
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
July 16th, 1999
Queens, NY


To open the show, a video from Paul E in the ring airs, and he announces that starting Friday night August 13th, THEY'RE ON TNN. And the albatross bites. Although the first ECW on TNN I've found is from August 27th and Wikipedia confirms this. Joey says there's two special broadcasts before regular shows begin 8/27.

Clips air of Vito Lograsso, formerly Skull Von Krush, beating Spanish Angel after dropping his gimmick name. BUT FUCK THAT, BECAUSE THE DUDLEYS IMMEDIATELY HIT THE RING AND HIT THE 3D. YEAH. Bubba gets the mic and argues with fans and tells someone to sit their scrawny Puerto Rican ass down because Taco Bell is across the street, you little faggot. The fan throws beer, and they pull the fan over and security has to hold them back. AND FUCKING OUT OF NOWHERE, SPIKE JUMPS OFF THE BALCONY ONTO THE DUDLEYS! He celebrates, but they beat on him in the ring. Balls Mahoney comes out to save with DEM CHAIR SHOTS. Joey says Balls has his choice of any partner to challenge the Dudleys at Heatwave for the belts. Glad to know they remembered they have a PPV in two days.

Match #1: Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie
They have some good cruiserweight exchanges that pass for "technical" wrestling the late 90s but aren't actual technical wrestling things. They do the stupid roll up sequence, but apart from that, this was inoffensive. Really shows how low standards were at the time that this is considered great technical wrestling. Just lots of real average stuff before a ref bump. Credible and his posse come out and Justin canes Lynn. He fights back but gets a cane to the face. Jazz, who still hasn't been actually named on the air, tries to get them to stop for some reason since this isn't that brutal in comparison to what they've done to Tommy and everyone else so she's clearly a Jerry Lynn fan, Jason clotheslines her, and Sabu hits the ring to fight the Impact Players. Credible canes him, and RVD hits the ring. He tries the Van Daminator on Lance, but he ducks and holds the chair up, so RVD takes out Lynn with it! He tries to dive on Credible, but he pulls Sabu in the way, so he's fucking up all over tonight. RVD doesn't really care, but he and Sabu argue to the back. Lance hits Lynn again with his Cradle Piledriver to win.
**1/4

In the ECW Arena last week, Chetti introduced his new valet who is a young pre boob job Lita. Chetti has it won, but then started dancing to "Living La Vida Loca". Lita danced with him so Nova hit her with the Kryptonite Krunch and yelled at Chetti for not winning. Roadkill then hit Nova with a Flying Splash to win. Joey announces a rematch for Heatwave. GREAT JOB SELLING THIS PPV SO FAR, GUYS.

Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [Three Way Dance]
Tajiri has moved on to his classic pants. Tajiri continues to be really really aggressive now that he has the pants to fit, and this was better than the first version of this. Lots of crazy dives and highspots, mostly from Crazy and Tajiri. This was great because Guido mostly kept out of the way for the majority of the first part. Sal slammed Crazy through a table and then he tapped to the Sicilian Crab. Tajiri destroys Guido going into a break, and an ad about NASCAR driver Josh Gordon shilling Jesus Christ. Tajiri hits blatant low blows and a Brainbuster to win.
***

Sal comes in with a chair, BUT TAZ COMES OUT! YEAH! Sal leaves, and Taz gets on the mic. He says he doesn't do this a lot but he's gotta tip his hat and that was a hell of a fucking match. He says he respects the shit out of him and he's got some impressive shit and any time he wants a shot at this, it'd be his pleasure to give him the shot. Steve Corino comes out with Jack Victory and Rhino and says Taz is afraid of Steve Corino. He's afraid that he's going to choke him out, and Taz says the only thing Steve is choking is Jack Victory's limp dick. Corino says to keep cursing so he can get over, so Taz just yells curses that get bleeped out. Taz challenges them to a tag match now, BUT TAJIRI KICKS TAZ IN THE LEG AND HITS LIKE SIX BUZZSAW KICKS IN A ROW. Camp Corino hits the ring and Corino yells "OH MY GOD!" and Jack Victory gives Tajiri money. Corino says it's just like Jack Victory told him and he planned, and Corino says he's theirs. AND TAJIRI HOLDS UP THE TITLE. YEAH. Jack Victory waves a Japanese flag. Corino asks who's the stupid son of a bitch now and pronounces Tajiri as the next champion.

PULP FICTION:
-Dave Prazak's Dad is with the FBI and he announces Guido/Crazy for Heatwave. Guido says Super Crazy's finally met his match and he and the Big Salbowski have a hit on him. He's climbing the ladder and he's a better wrestler, flyer, and he's definitely crazier than him.
-Nova says he's finally earned his spot on an ECW PPV
-Cyrus talks to Jason ans he says that woman is at the bottom of his sexual food chain, so she jumps him and beats the shit out of him
-Jerry Lynn finds RVD and Sabu in the back, and asks what that was. RVD says it was a mistake, and Lynn says he saved him in Chicago and he owes him one. Lynn says he doesn't want another title shot, and he wants a tag partner to whip both their asses. Fonzie says RVD's not allowed to tag with anyone with Sabu. RVD says he chooses to tag only with Sabu. Lynn says Sabu tagged with him so he's a hypocrite. RVD shrugs as Fonzie holds Sabu back. He says if Jerry needs his help to get over on PPV again, he'll carry him too. Because he can do whatever he wants, and Fonzie and Sabu look mad at this

HEATWAVE UPDATE BECAUSE THE PULP FICTION MUSIC STOPS:
-In the back, Cyrus is with the Impact Players. Lance says there's a bunch of guys with belts and calling themselves the show, but they're the only two impact players. They're the future and the new revolution taking over ECW and the entire sport. Justin says that's just incredible.
-Jason vs. Jazz is announced
-Tommy Dreamer has an announcement at Heatwave
-Taz vs. Tajiri is also made

In a pretape, Taz cuts a promo. He says Corino wanted to be big time and wanted to run around in the main event with the World Heavyweight Champion, and he did brutha. He says he got Tajiri and got his attention and this Sunday night is a very simple thing. He's going to beat the living hell out of Tajiri and he's going to show him the Taz he's heard of but never seen. The Taz that nobody wanted to wrestle or do business with, and he's going to hook him and beat him all night. He's gonna beat the shit out of him and do things that'll get them thrown off PPV and thrown off TNN. He doesn't care as long as he sees Tajiri down and in pain, because he messed with the wrong guy. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Dudley Boyz, Since 4/17/1999

Posted Image

ECW HEATWAVE 1999
JULY 18TH, 1999
DAYTON, OH


PULP FICTION ON PPV:
-Taz says tonight is the night Tajiri gets torn apart by the Human Suplex Machine. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.
-Danny Doring says to look no further than Doring and Roadkill to see the hottest stars of Heatwave 99. Chickens.
-Nova says he's going to be the hottest star on Heatwave. Chris Chetti says to look at how good his face is.
-Jason is oiling himself up
-The Dudleys shove Gertner back and says everyone talks about being the hottest star, but it's NOT going to be the six time World Tag Team Champions and the greatest tag team in pro wrestling today. The hottest star in ECW tonight is Balls Mahoney, because when they Powerbomb him through a flaming table, his ass is going out in a blaze of glory. TESTIFYYYYY
-Steve Corino says the hottest star is him, because when his man Tajiri beats Taz for the title, he's going to hand it over to him and it'll make him the hottest star on national TV. Tajiri looks confused by this.
-Lance Storm says it doesn't matter who's hottest, but it matters who has the most impact and you're looking at the Impact Players. Their momentum started nine years ago and not even RVD and Jerry Lynn joining forces can stop them. Justin chimes in with his stupid catchphrase. Somehow, Lance Storm is carrying the mic work for this team.
-Jerry Lynn says he doesn't like Rob Van Dam and he never will, but he's chosen him to be his tag partner because he knows firsthand what he can do and the two men in ECW he detests most are Lance Storm and Justin Credible and they're about to get their asses smoked
-RVD says he'll be teaming with Jerry Lynn with or without their permission and Fonzie has to hold Sabu back again. He says he's Mr. PPV, he's the TV Champ, and he has the pull to do what he wants on his own and if Sabu has a problem, he'll show him that he's also the Whole Fucking Team. Fonzie holds them apart.

Before the opening tag, Danny Doing proposes to his girlfriend, played by Lita, and she accepts because she doesn't say no to people. Chetti comes out in a cape and top hat, because he's a gay magician now, I guess.

Match #1: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill w/ Lita
This was better than the last time, since Roadkill was breaking out tons more cool athletic feats that carried the match. Chetti and Nova did a lot of really horrible contrived offense. Chetti has to dance again and Lita gets in on it, and it's pretty awesome because she's super hot. She tries to slap Nova but hits Chetti, so he hits a Death Valley Bomb. Chetti botches a kick to Roadkill on the top and they hit their stupid Legdrop/Splash combo to win.
*3/4

The clip of Tajiri turning on Taz last week airs.

Match #2: Jason vs. Jazz
No. Jazz wins.
90/Double Poop

In the back, Cyrus joins Joey Styles and says he loves his character development and his catchphrase. OH MY GOODNESS!

Match #3: Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
This was the least of all the international PPV matches this year, probably due to Guido. They have the opportunity to make this more than just a lot of spots when Guido goes after the arm or grounds Crazy, but it's only for a moment and they go back to just doing things. And because Guido isn't really any good at that style, this suffers in comparison to the other stuff Crazy has been doing all year. Crazy wins with the Ricola Bomb.
**3/4

A hype video for Dudz vs. Balls/Spike airs.

The Dudley Boyz come out and it's time for the greatest mic work of their careers. D-Von says to sit down and shut the fuck up, and Bubba gets the mic.

"JUST BEING IN THIS MISERABLE PIECE OF SHIT CITY MAKES. ME. FUCKING. SICK. You people are nothing but lower class white trash pieces of garbage. Tonight, Dayton, Ohio and the rest of the entire wrestling world are gonna find out why me and my brother D-Von are the best god damned tag team in the world! And if we had the time, we would come out there and kick every one of your asses. I mean, let's take a look at you people. WE'VE GOT SOME FAGGOT IN A HAWAIIAN SHIRT DOWN HERE. WE'VE GOT A MOM IN THE FRONT ROW WHO TAUGHT HER DAUGHTER HOW TO SUCK DICK. AND WE'VE GOT SOME UGLY SKANKASAURUS WHO'S GONNA TAKE NINE INCHES OF BLACK DICK SO FAR UP HER ASS SHE WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT HER! And you know what the great part about it is? None of you people have the guts to do anything about it. COME ON BOY. YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME AND MY BROTHER? COME ON, YOU FAT BALD MOTHERFUCKER."

Bubba and D-Von go out to the floor to egg on the fan but they get back in for Joel's stuff.

"WHY GO TO THE MOVIES WHEN YOU CAN STAY HOME AND SEE ME? THE ONE THE LADIES CALL "BIG DADDY", THE ONE WHO ALREADY SLEPT WITH THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER AND THE ONE WHO TRULY KNOWS HOW TO INSPECT HER GADGET? I AM DRIPPING WITH SARCASM AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS DRIPPING FROM ORGASM, FOR I AM THE QUINTESSENTIAL AND A GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE GOD DAMNED HANDSOME MAN, JOEL "WHETHER THE LADIES ARE HOME OR HERE IN DAYTON, THEY'RE WATCHING ME AND MASTERBAITIN'" GERTNER!"

Match #4: The Dudley Boyz [c] vs. Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney [ECW World Tag Team Championship - Falls Count Anywhere]
Another really good match between them. Balls and Spike are so much better than Rotten Balls, as Spike continues to randomly be the best crowd brawler in ECW. Spike takes a crazy bump over the top to the ramp almost immediately. They use street signs, the ring bell, and a cheese grater and it gradually breaks down into a crowd brawl, which was a nice change of pace. Spike does his awesome balcony dive and the finishing run in the ring is all great stuff. Spike blocks the 3D lift with a cradle and Balls schoolboys Bubba, AND THEY WIN THE TITLES?!
***

The Dudley Boyz attack post-match and hit the 3D on Balls. They put the table up and then on fire, AND SPIKE GETS SUPERBOMBED THROUGH THE FLAMING TABLE! AND NEW JACK MAKES HIS RETURN TOO! FUCK YEAH NEW JACK. NEW JACK KILLS THE DUDLEY BOYZ! New Jack celebrates with Spike and Balls.

Tommy Dreamer and Francine come out for whatever announcement, and Tommy gets on the mic. He says there wasn't going to be a Heatwave without the Queen of Extreme and the Innovator of Violence. He says before his announcement, he's got some questions and says there's a lot of representatives here. He says he watched WWF King of the Ring three weeks ago and last week he watched WCW Bash at the Beach, and that one damn near put him to sleep. He says this puts nothing on the wrestlers for those companies because every wrestlers just about deserves their respect, and says ECW is yet again setting the PPV standard. Yep. Real high benchmark there. You've beaten a 1999 WCW PPV and the second worst KOTR of all time. You win by being average! Tommy goes over the TNN show announcement and blows the fans before crying and teasing retirement and Steve Corino, Jack Victory, and Rhino come out. He says he thinks what he was about to say is that he's a 28 year old has-been. He's a casualty of this stupid hardcore wrestling and for six years, he's been a slave for ECW. He's fallen through 18 tables and bashed in the head with more chairs than anyone and he's probably spilled more blood than anyone that's ever walked into ECW. He says Tommy Dreamer's physical therapy isn't working and Tommy Dreamer's two herniated discs are not getting better and Tommy Dreamer needs back surgery. 1+1+1=Tommy Dreamer's career is over. He says the W in ECW still stands for wrestling and after all of it, he asks Tommy if it was worth it. He nods so Corino yells that he's dead, he needs surgery, and his career is over, and asks what's wrong with him. He's not injured because he's OLD SCHOOL, but Tommy had to prove something. Now he's got a role for him and since he's never ever going to wrestle on TNN and he will, he'd like him to do the traditional thing and to lay down for him. He'll even hook his leg because he respects the veterans, and he can go get a job somewhere else because Heatwave is his night. Tommy says he doesn't care if he leaves in a wheelchair but he's never laying down for someone who's been here 1/10th as long as him and he can shove it up his ass. Corino jumps him when he tries to leave and attacks his back and then punches him in the corner while yelling WHERE'S YOUR PENSION PLAN? and WHERE'S YOUR PRIDE? Tommy no-sells it and fights back. He beats on Corino and Francine hits a Tornado DDT and pins Corino. BUT FUCK THAT, BECAUSE TAJIRI KICKS TOMMY IN THE BACK! AND HITS A BUZZSAW KICK! FRANCINE SLAPS HIM SO HE KICKS HER LEG OUT! RHINO AND JACK VICTORY GET IN WITH THE JAPANESE FLAG AND TAJIRI PUTS TOMMY IN THE TARANTULA! CORINO PUNCHES AT HIM, AND TAZ HITS THE RING! I LOVE ALL OF THIS!

Match #5: Taz [c] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri w/ Steve Corino, Rhino, & Jack Victory [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Easy MOTN, even though it was way too short at only 10 minutes. Tajiri did all his stuff in a flurry early on, but Taz survived it, so interference happened. Taz got rid of them, and a table got put up against the ropes on the ramp. Taz baited Tajiri into kicking him over near it and caught a kick to put him through with a Capture Suplex. Corino ran to the back when Taz saw him, and Taz went back too, BUT CAME BACK WITH A STRAND OF BARBED WIRE HOLY SHIT. HE CHOKES TAJIRI WITH IT AND PUTS ON THE TAZMISSION ON THE RAMP WITH THE WIRE. This is apparently falls count anywhere, as Tajiri taps.
***

Referees and the entourage come to get him off, and Taz leaves. He grabs the mic and yells to BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.

Match #6: The Impact Players vs. Rob Van Dam/Jerry Lynn
Dawn Marie and Fonzie are ringside. This was solid but not great at all. WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much of the Lynn fake technical wrestling stuff before this got going. They didn't need 21 minutes here so there's a lot of filler. It should have picked up when Credible caned Lynn and the heels got to take over, but they just did more stuff and never really worked a logical tag team match. This is like dudes trying to do a Japanese style tag but then not getting that they still have to do interesting things throughout. RVD saved it when he got in at the end since the finishing run was at least good. Sabu came out to interfere to add some excitement. He puts Justin through a table before RVD can and then RVD hits Lynn with the Frog Splash on accident. LYNN KICKS OUT. RVD hits Lance with the Van Daminator then, and Lynn is now totally fine and hits the Cradle Piledriver to win.
**1/4

RVD, Lynn, and Sabu all fight after the match.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Taz, Since 1/10/1999
ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Spike Dudley/Balls Mahoney, Since 7/18/1999

ECW Hardcore TV
July 23rd, 1999
Dayton, OH


The awesome Dreamer/Camp Corino segment opens the show.

ECW ANARCHY RULZ: SEPTEMBER 19TH!

A recap of the Tag Title switch airs.

A recap of Taz/Tajiri airs.

A recap of the main event tag match airs.

In the back, Jerry Lynn cuts a promo. He says Justin Credible is the biggest coward he's ever seen and Lance Storm is the biggest waste of talent this sport's ever seen. He says they could rule the world if they pulled their heads out of their asses, but he should pull his head out of his ass too after he was wrong and believed in Rob Van Dam. He didn't double cross him or turn on him, but he let him get beat up all night so he could try and steal the glory, but he didn't let that happen. He smoked both their asses, kicked out of Rob's finisher, AND scored the pin. Maybe he's a little bitter. Or is that better? And that's something RVD is going to have to come to terms with.

The three way brawl at the end of the PPV airs.

In the back, The Impact Players cut a promo. Lance Storm says nobody's going to stop them and they list The Sandman, Shane Douglas, and Tommy Dreamer. Jerry Lynn, RVD, and Sabu are next, and none of them can stop them on their own and after tonight, they're no longer unified. Divide and conquer. They'll beat them mentally or physically, because he's a professional athlete from CALGARY, ALBERTA, CANADA. Justin then drops his phrase, again contributing nothing.

In an empty arena, RVD and Fonzie are there. RVD says he carried yet another PPV just like he's carried this company to national exposure and now they can call him Mr. TNN where they can watch him Friday nights at 8 PM. He says he knows Jerry appreciates him carrying him at the PPV. Fonzie says no more title shots, and RVD says some people think this isn't RVD's title only, and he does what he wants. He says he's more than willing to put this on the line against Jerry Lynn since he's beaten like everybody. RVD asks if Sabu wants a shot now and Fonzie tries to say it was an accident. He says he got Sabu a belt last year, but he went and lost it, and here's some English for him. WHOLE FUCKING SHOW. He tells Fonzie to teach him that.

In a pretape, Taz is in his black void he uses for promos. He says if you watch wrestling, everyone calls themselves hardcore and extreme and mean because they can use chairs and tables, but in ECW, they invented that. So they've gotta up it with tables on fire, but he only ever needed his hands. And sometimes, his hands need to be upped now so he put barbed wire around them. He says he ain't your role model because he stuck barbed wire down his throat. Because he wanted to and because he laid him out in his hometown. He says Tajiri's mouth is too cut up to eat sushi, just like his hand. This isn't over because he's just starting with him and Steve Corino. He can't beat him, he can't fight him, and it's just a matter of time when he gets both of these hands on his scrawny piece of shit neck. He can bring guys in wheelchairs and tall guys and puffed up idiots because he wants more. HE NEEDS TO EAT. NOBODY CAN TAKE THIS FROM HIM. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN. SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU.
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