| Simon Watches ECW - 2000-1 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 08:35 PM (7,836 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jan 14 2014, 08:35 PM Post #1 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Raven/Tommy Dreamer, Since 8/26/1999 ECW Hardcore TV January 2nd, 2000 America The show opens with a Rhino highlight reel. The last Tajiri/Crazy match from TNN airs. Sabu/RVD from Chicago airs. They re-air the crucifixion angle. Tanaka/Awesome for the title from the 12/31 TNN airs. In the back, Spike Dudley cuts a promo. He says he hopes Awesome's not thinking about tie die or goofy hair or the wave or LSD. He knocked his girl's teeth out, and he's got a problem. He's the one that was too violent for the Dudleys. Three and a half years here and he's never missed a god damn match here. Balcony dives, double burning tables, he's gotten up every night. He wrestles extreme, and he's going to hurt him. In the back, Judge Jeff Jones is with Mike Awesome. He says he's a judge and Spike's stupid rat girlfriend came and gave him the Acid Drop. She made him look ridiculous AND A MAN IN HIS POSITION CAN'T AFFORD TO LOOK RIDICULOUS. Awesome says Spike has the balls to interrupt his victory celebration and says he knocked his girlfriend's teeth down her fucking throat and says to think about what he'll do to a man like him. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 15 2014, 01:41 AM Post #2 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Raven/Tommy Dreamer, Since 8/26/1999 ECW on TNN January 7th, 2000 White Plains, NY The Awesome/Tanaka switch and post-match angle airs. Then the ECW World Title video AGAIN. The great Spike/Awesome promos from HCTV air. In the back, The Impact Players cut a promo. Or rather, Lance cuts a promo for Justin Credible. He says this is the building where Tommy Dreamer and his father sat when he was a boy and he watched the stars pass him by, and he's about to see another one pass him by tonight when Justin Credible beats him. Justin says he wants this one on one and tells Lance and everyone not to help him if he's on the ropes because if Tommy can beat him, he's the better man. But he's not going to beat him, and he's going to show Tommy and everyone tonight that The Impact Players are guilty as charged. Match #1: Danny Doring/Roadkill w/ Elektra vs. Kid Kash/Nova vs. The Dupps Decent spotfest as the first match of the year. All the stuff not involving the Dupps ruled. KID KASH DOES HIS FIRST FLIP DIVE! ROADKILL DOES A SPRINGBOARD MOVE AGAIN! Doring and Nova hit the Faggot Drop on a Dupp and Kash takes the pin to eliminate them. More good spots happen. Shit breaks down completely after a good Tope Suicida from Kash. Elektra gets in, and Jazz runs down to fight her. Simon Diamond comes out to carry Jazz to the back, and Chris Chetti comes to make out with Elektra. She likes it and he takes her to the back. Nova is alone somehow, and he gets hit with this awesome Wheelbarrow Slam/Flying Fameasser deal from Doring and Roadkill for the win! **1/4 Match #2: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible [Stairway to Hell Match] Jason and Francine are on the floor. This is solid and better than I expected, but not on the level of their Guilty as Charged 1999 match at all. This is just some fun stuff and isn't this perfectly laid out miracle match. Tommy gets the cane and canes Credible, but Lance Storm comes out to save. Raven fights him to the back and Dawn Marie and Francine have a catfight. Credible canes Tommy in the back and head and hits That's Incredible to win. BOO HIM OR SOMETHING DAMNIT. PAUL MIGHT STOP PUSHING HIM SO HARD IF SOME CROWD JUST FUCKING REACTS. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 22 2014, 06:41 PM Post #3 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: Raven/Tommy Dreamer, Since 8/26/1999 ![]() ECW GUILTY AS CHARGED 2000 JANUARY 9TH, 2000 BIRMINGHAM, AL Joey and Cyrus open the show. Cyrus says he brings greetings from the office and tells Joey to be on his best behavior. Cyrus calls himself the voice of ECW and the best color commentator in wrestling, and Joel Gertner comes out. He says this isn't Nashville and he knows what his office wants, but this is PPV. He says he's here to do what he always does on PPV and he's going to tell these people that he's their host, the Mack Daddy for the New Millenium, and the man who if he wasn't here in Birmingham, he'd be licking Heather Locklear and porking Heather Graham, THE QUINTESSENTIAL STUDMUFFIN, JOEL "ALL THE WOMEN IN ALABAMA WANNA TAKE ME TO COURT, BECAUSE THEY'VE SWALLOWED MY STUFF AND WANT CHILD SUPPORT" GERTNER! AND IF BEING HUNG IS A CRIME, THEN HE'S GUILTY AS CHARGED. He gives Cyrus the up yours signal and says he's showed up, got himself over, outpopped this schmuck, and got some snatch lined up at the hotel, so he's done. Joey throws it to the video. Match #1: Mikey Whipwreck vs. CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Bill Wiles Fun 5 minutes. Wiles tries to interfere a lot, and CW and Mikey seem to work pretty well together. Mikey takes a NASTY somersault bump off the apron to the floor off a Superkick. CW then destroys the arm of Mikey, and while he doesn't sell amazingly, it doesn't go very long after his comeback either. Lou hits him with the phone, AND CW HITS THE ANDERSON SPINEBUSTER FOR THE WIN! WHOA! **1/4 Simon Diamond has a new man valet named Mitch, and he is a really small guy in a black and pink tuxedo. Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill/Simon Diamond w/ Mitch & Elektra vs. Nova/Kid Kash/Jazz Kid Kash is dressed as Kid Rock for the first time, so that's horrible. He almost kills himself on his dive here, which is also hilarious. As always, this is a lot of moves and it's one of the lesser matches in this series since Doring and Roadkill actually got good. Jazz brawls to the back with the returning Dick, and Chris Chetti replaces her midway through. He wants to fuck Elektra. He gets beat with Roadkill's Big Splash. *3/4 Post-match, The Dupps come to attack both Chetti and Roadkill. God damnit. Nova and Doring even unite to drive them off. In the back, Judge Jeff Jones and Mike Awesome cut a promo. JJJ asks Spike how his little girlfriend is and says this monster knocked her teeth out of her mouth. He says that's how Spike Dudley is going to feel when he faces the most awesome champion in wrestling. Mike asks if he saw what he did to his girlfriend and repeats that he knocked her teeth down her fucking throat. He says if Spike Dudley wants to be the champion, that means he has to take it away from him. In the back, Spike Dudley is with his girlfriend and she shows off her missing front teeth. Spike says that's Mike Awesome's handiwork, the World Champion resorting to knocking a poor girl's teeth out. Paul tells him to cut the act or something, and Spike throws shit and says he doesn't act, and he's going to hurt Mike Awesome. Weird. It's time for the Tajiri/Crazy Dream Partner Tag, and Corino and Tajiri come out first. Super Crazy comes out so they can choose partners, and Joey and Cyrus talk about Tajiri and Lynn probably being in cahoots and Cyrus says Lynn's going to be his partner. Corino gets on the mic and says he's going to put together the greatest Dream Partner Tag of all time, and says Tajiri's partner is Super Crazy! Corino says he's going to be honest, since honesty is what put ECW on the map, and he wants to see this tag team. He says this while making the jerk off gesture. Little Guido and Sal come out and Guido says he's the #1 draft pick. Corino says he's the most powerful man in ECW and it's a shame Guido doesn't have a partner for this tag match. He says he calls the shots around here and everyone needs to get that. Paul Heyman comes out and brings out Guido's partner, and it's Jerry Lynn. Match #3: Yoshihiro Tajiri/Super Crazy vs. Jerry Lynn/Little Guido Corino and Sal are on the floor. This is fun, but not great exactly. Tajiri and Crazy are an insane dream team, but it means they can't fight each other, and their chemistry as opponents is what made everything work out so well. Stuff happens, and both teams implode. Guido hits Lynn with the Maritato, and Tajiri head kicks Crazy. Tajiri then hits Lynn with a Brainbuster to win. **3/4 Steve Corino comes back out with Jack Victory and Tommy Rich, and they all beat on Lynn. Corino says Jerry comes out and fights every night for these people and he's not a piece of crap coward like Dusty Rhodes. He's not a fat, old, beat up, washed up piece of garbage like The American Dream. DUSTY COMES FROM THE CROWD AS CORINO SAYS HE WOULD KICK HIS ASS, AND DUSTY FIGHTS THEM ALL! YEAH! But Rhino comes out and drops him. Camp Corino all beats on Dusty Rhodes, until the locker room empties to make the save. Corino steals Dusty's cowboy hat and wears it as they leave. In the back, New Jack cuts a promo. He says he's been in a lot of situations in ECW. The Dudleys didn't piss him off as mad as he is now and not Mustafa or the low down Public Enemy either. He says when he was about 13, he had a buddy who switched sides to another gang and one day they met up and he had a long knife and stabbed him in the ass. And he didn't take it out and walked around with a knife in his ass for a week. He found him soon and took that knife out and beat him with it from one side of the alley to the other. He's taking Da Baldies out one at a time, all two and a half of them, and he's going to tear Angel's stupid ass apart and break him down. Match #4: New Jack vs. Angel w/ Da Baldies [King of the Streets Match] They just renamed the usual No DQ deal. This is your usual New Jack match and it's enjoyable. He changes the weapons up by using a mailbox AND THE FUCKING ROOF OF A CAR WHICH IS JUST UNDER THE RING FOR SOME REASON. He kills Angel and then fights Grimes into the crowd. DAT BALCONY DIVE. Angel fights him back to the ring and DeVito is stapled in the face. But Angel hits New Jack with a shovel to win. Wait, what? Why? ** In the back, RVD cuts a long promo and Fonzie says he plays it right down the middle and says RVD's going to win. Daddeh. He high fives RVD and walks down the hall to cut a promo on Sabu's behalf. Amazing. Match #5: Rob Van Dam [c] vs. Sabu [ECW Television Championship] Joey and Cyrus say that Sabu's made it clear that if he doesn't win the title, he's leaving. This was maybe their best match ever and if not, their best match since 1996. They changed up a lot of spots to bring out cool new ones and kept it at the appropriate time at some 15 minutes. The only drawback is Fonzie's interference to sell his frontrunning, but that paid off at the end WHEN RVD FINALLY HITS FONZIE WITH THE VAN DAMINATOR! YEAH! Sabu knocks him down and tries a Triple Jump something, but RVD pulls the chair off the mat and folds it up to catch Sabu coming down with it. RVD then hits the Five Star Frog Sploosh to win. ***1/4 In an AMAZING callback, RVD now offers the hand to Sabu, and Sabu shakes it. He gives Fonzie, RVD, and the crowd the bird and leaves. In the back, The Impact Players cut a promo. Lance Storm says tonight is their night and tonight is when they fulfill a destiny. He says they're younger, faster, and stronger than them, and they're tired of waiting. Credible repeats all of that, but with heavier breathing and more fake intensity. Match #6: Raven/Tommy Dreamer [c] vs. The Impact Players [ECW World Tag Team Championship] All the people are at ringside. This is the best match in the feud so far, which isn't saying a ton. A nice brawl starts this off, and then it dips in quality in the middle because the Impact Players aren't great at actually filling time without lots of spots happening. Lance getting a great technician rep is a massive booking success. It picks up a ton at the end when they do a lot of cool stuff. Tommy drops Lance over the top through a table, but then is taken out with a chair by Credible. Francine low blows him and fights Dawn. Credible lines her up for a cane shot BUT RAVEN SHOVES HER AWAY AND TAKES THE CANE SHOT! NO. Credible beats him with That's Incredible. ![]() **1/2 In the back, Mr. Prazak interviews Camp Corino in the parking lot and asks if that's how to treat a legend. Corino says they did it to the legend OF Dusty Rhodes, because they don't care. They've buried the legend of Dusty Rhodes and Dusty's a piece of crap. His man Rhino -- AND RHINO SAYS HE CAN TALK FOR HIMSELF. Rhino intimidates Prazak and says to shut the fuck up. He's today's news and tomorrow's news, and he hears there's a title match and he wants the winner. Match #7: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Spike Dudley [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] This is one of the most fun foregone conclusion matches in ECW history. Spike dies over and over and over again and Awesome gets like 90% of the offense here, as he should. A million killer table bumps, but then Spike has this amazing comeback. Awesome's usual insane spots come off even better because of how small Spike is. He eventually catches him on the top, and hits the mother of all Awesome Bombs through a table for the win. ***1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 22 2014, 09:21 PM Post #4 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN January 14th, 2000 Atlanta, GA ECW is live from Match #1: Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano This is whatever. Guido does some stuff and I have a new respect for Smothers for making this boring asshole look good for 2 years. He's super basic and gets praised like he's fucking Dean Malenko. Super Crazy is wasted here, and wins with a Swinging DDT. *3/4 Highlights of RVD/Sabu air. In the back after the match, RVD cuts a promo while Fonzie sits down with his head iced. RVD says it's been 21 months and he's been tested and tried by everyone who thinks tonight's the night because he's had the title so long, but they're all wrong. Bam Bam was wrong. Taz was wrong. Jerry Lynn was wrong, and now Sabu was wrong. Because he's the whole fucking show. Mr. PPV. Mr. TNN. Mr. ECW. He asks Fonzie if that's right, and he tiredly says "whatever you say, champ." The Corino/Dusty incident from PPV airs. In the back, Joey and Gertner announce that on 1/28 in Ft. Lauderdale, it's Dusty Rhodes and any ECW wrestler he wants vs. Corino & Rhino. And that's a TV taping, so cool! On the streets, Da Baldies cut a promo. Devito says New Jack thought it would end when he broke his hand or spilled blood from each of them. They didn't come to ECW to put his ass over and they're not his victims like PE or the Dudley Boyz. This is their turf and they came here to cop and at Guilty as Charged, there was a new King of the Streets crowned without any of their help, and his name is Angel. He says he showed New Jack who was the toughest and baddest and his heart don't pump Kool Aid. He'll fight New Jack's family, mother, and brother, and he's the new King. The streets belong to Da Baldies. In the back after GAC, Mike Awesome says Spike can take one hell of an ass beating, but he can give one too. He earned his respect, so any time he wants to try again, he'd like to see just how close to death he can take his ass. Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri Tajiri does his thing and destroys Lynn to make this good. He just mutilates him with kicks and holds for 7 minutes, and Lynn gets a low blow and the Cradle Piledriver for the win. What a lazy piece of shit. **1/4 Highlights of the Dawn/Francine catfight end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 23 2014, 02:31 AM Post #5 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV January 16th, 2000 Atlanta, GA Match #1: Mikey Whipwreck vs. CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Bill Wiles Yay! This isn't quite as good as the PPV match due to some sloppiness, but this was taped before that one, so that makes sense. It's basically a practice run as they do a lot of the same stuff, but not as well. It lacks the crazy Mikey bump too, but he wins this time. Mikey hits both CW and Wiles with a Double Whippersnapper, and that gives him the win. ** In the back, Judge Jeff Jones has an open challenge for new challengers for Mike Awesome. The champ says he beat Taz, Tanaka, New Jack, Spike Dudley, and asks if there's any man out there that wants to try and be the World Champion, they need to bring their ass on down. New Jack's GAC promo is aired. A recap of New Jack/Angel airs. Match #2: New Jack vs. Vic Grimes w/ Da Baldies Joey says that New Jack considers Atlanta his home town because he's spent so much jail time here. Amazing. This happens, and Grimes gets in way too much offense. I can't wait until he grabs onto high voltage cables like his stupid uncle Frank. This goes on FOREVER before a guitar shot off the top ends it. *1/4 A recap of the tag title switch airs. In the back, Dave Prazak's dad interviews the Impact Players. Credible says not everything has a happy ending and sometimes your heroes will let you down, but they're writing a new chapter where the bad guys take over. Lance says they're just getting started and says to wait and see the impact they make now. CATCHPHRASE. the Corino/Dusty stuff then airs. In the back, Steve Corino is with Rhino and cuts a promo. Corino says there's some big news and says Tommy Dreamer is joining Dusty Rhodes and he's accepted that challenge. He says Tommy Dreamer thinks he's going to make him bloody and Dusty thinks he'll drop the elbow and Tommy wants to hit him with a chair and those things may happen in Ft. Lauderdale, but they won't. Because he has a monster in front of him and his name is Rhino. Rhino talks and says if Tommy sets foot by Steve, it's a fantasy, because he won't get close to Steve. He says he never watched Dusty Rhodes and if he had, he wouldn't have liked him, and in Florida, there will be blood. Not their blood, but Dusty Rhodes' and Tommy Dreamer's. And people will remember one name. Rhino. Match #3: Raven vs. Simon Diamond w/ Dick Raven lets Diamond show off for most of the match before it's comeback time. He has some good stuff, but it's all super super basic. Stuff happens with Dick interfering and Raven reverses a whip into the Evenflow for the win. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 23 2014, 04:07 PM Post #6 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN January 21st, 2000 Philadelphia, PA In the ring, Gertner uses his intro to call Cyrus a schmuck. Cyrus comes out and says they all have a lot of heat with the office, and no one has more than Joel. He says he's been in Joel's corner from day one and wants to see him be the best he can be. He's censored him, called him into the office for meetings, warned him privately and publicly, warned him on TNN and in front of the boys. He says the middle name deal is SO not over and says the next time he ignores his authority, he'll kick his fat ass. Gertner wants to fight, but Joey holds him back and Cyrus leaves. After the intro, the Impact Players hit the ring for an interview. Cyrus is leaving, but he pats them both on the back before leaving. Credible says they told them they were going to make an impact and win these titles, and tonight the establishment wants them to defend their titles. But they're running the show and they won't defend their titles tonight. AND DANNY DORING AND ROADKILL COME OUT! YEAH! Referees hold them back and Doring gets the mic. He says he's sorry to cut everything short, but they won't disappoint the people and they're going to put the titles on the line tonight against Doring and Roadkill. Lance asks who the hell he thinks he is and says they're opening match guys and asks who the hell he ever beat besides no-talent jobbers. He says if they can beat a mid-card team tonight, and challenges them to fight Dreamer and Raven right now! YEAH! Match #1: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill Francine and Elektra are on the floor. Decent match but more of a Raven/Tommy angle. The match cuts in during the comeback for Raven and Tommy and there's a catfight. Dawn Marie comes out to knock out Francine with something, and Raven carries her to the back. Tommy still handles the young guys fine until Corino and Rhino come out and Rhino hits Dreamer with the Piledriver. Doring hits a Flying Elbow to win. And now nobody really gets over! Yay! ** Corino and Jack Victory beat on Tommy post-match, until Dusty Rhodes comes out to save! Dusty Rhodes in the ECW Arena is a pretty big deal. Rhino again comes out to attack Dusty and it's a 3 on 2 UNTIL THE SANDMAN COMES OUT TO SAVE! The Sandman runs them off with cane shots. Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri [5] vs. Super Crazy [6] [Best of Forever Series - Match #12 - Mexican Death Match] This might be the best match in ECW history. I've written about times where something felt legitimately out of control and/or totally innovative and insane. RVD/Bigelow, Sabu/Scorpio, Taz/Bigelow, that weird Spike Dudley three way, etc. This had parts of both. Tajiri sliding chairs over a table at full speed to try and decapitate Crazy (including one going flying into the crowd), some of the most insanely stiff kicks of Tajiri's career, etc. He bloodies and destroys Crazy early on, but Crazy has a great comeback. He sells everything incredibly well and takes it to the crowd for A FUCKING MOONSAULT OFF THE BLEACHERS THROUGH A TABLE! YEAH! They go back to ringside for Tajiri's crowd Moonsault too. A table gets put up in the ring, and then another on the other side over the middle buckle. TAJIRI GETS THE RING WRENCH AND FISH HOOKS CRAZY WITH IT JESUS CHRIST. He gets on the table platform, AND MISTS CRAZY! BUT CRAZY CATCHES A RANA AND SPINS TO HIT A POWERBOMB THROUGH THE OTHER TABLE FOR THE WIN! This might be the best Arena match ever too, maybe only called into question by Joe/Necro. The level of insane violence and chaos combined with them actually ending at the peak of everything and selling a ton throughout? Yeah. Unfuckwithable. ****1/2 ECW LIVING DANGEROUSLY: MARCH 12TH! In the ring, Mike Awesome has the mic and says everyone saw him kick Spike Dudley's ass on PPV and knock his girlfriend's teeth down her fucking throat. He yells at Paul and the crowd to shut up and says he's talking now. He says he's the most awesome champion in wrestling and the crowd chants "RVD!" Awesome says he holds the ECW Heavyweight Title, THE ONLY TITLE THAT MATTERS AND THAT MAKES HIM THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW. AND RVD AND FONZIE COME OUT! YEAH! RVD says to listen to what he's saying, because he's confusing RVD's fans with that nonsense. He says he's a real big dude and a great champion, but no matter how awesome his ass kickings are, he's still just PART of the show. Him? He's Rob Van Dam. THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SHOW. AWESOME LAYS DOWN HIS TITLE AND SAYS TO COME TAKE IT, AND RVD LAYS HIS BELT DOWN TOO AND SAYS TO DO IT! YES! BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT AND SABU IS IN THE RING. AWESOME CHALLENGES THEM TO A HANDICAP MATCH, BUT SABU THROWS A CHAIR IN RVD'S FACE. AWESOME BOMB ON THE CHAIR! TRIPLE JUMP MOONSAULT! ARABIAN FACEBUSTER! SABU PUNCHES FONZIE AND PUTS HIM THROUGH THE TABLE BRIDGE. NOOOOOOO. SPIKE TRIES TO SAVE, BUT DIES ON THE AWESOME BOMB! AWESOME PUTS RVD THROUGH A TABLE WITH THE AWESOME SPLASH WHILE SABU DOES THE SAME WITH A FLYING LEGDROP! This is the single most excited I've ever been about ECW in this review. So of course it never pays off. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 24 2014, 12:52 AM Post #7 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV January 23rd, 2000 Philadelphia, PA ECW fucks up my idea of them by using Daft Punk to hype this week's show up. Match #1: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Nova Mikey does the best he can before he has to put this shattered rectum over. Mikey's recklessness is so much fun, and the fucking mutants cheer Nova over Mikey as Cactus Jack's promos from 1995 continue to be depressingly accurate. Mikey slips out of the Kryptonite Krunch and tries a sunset flip, but Nova sits down on it for the win. BOOOOOOOO *3/4 Post-match, Mikey yells that this is a god damned conspiracy. C-O-N-SPIRACY. Dusty's ECW Arena debut and Sandman making the save are shown. Match #2: New Jack vs. Angel w/ Da Baldies [King of the Streets Rematch] This is sure a thing and basically the same idea as the PPV, just with different stuff. Grimes is killed again but this time New Jack gets caught with a garbage can shot for the loss, which is kind of a shame when he's taken so so so so so much worse. ** Lou E. Dangerously comes out with Erik Watts and Joey freaks out about Lou calling Erik the son of a legend. Listen, shithead. You sell out the fucking Superdome, okay? Erik Watts is a human pile of shit, but lets not go impugning Bill Watts here when Mid-South paved the way for everything ECW is. Fuck you, Joey Styles. Lou rants about Bill Watts firing Paul, so you now know what this is all about. Up on the stage, Paul has to be held back and he rants about the Watts and brings out Spike Dudley. Okay. Match #3: Spike Dudley vs. Erik Watts w/ Lou E. Dangerously DICK KICK. ACID DROP. PIN. GOD DAMN RIGHT. Poopfart The Awesome/RVD stuff closes the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 25 2014, 07:36 PM Post #8 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN January 28th, 2000 New Orleans, LA In the back, Francine finds Raven and he says he doesn't want to wrestle unless it's for the belt. Raven says nobody ever thanks him for all he does, and asks what about him. What about Raven? He's depressed and says he's a loser and Tommy comes in and says he can hear him. They have a match against Corino and Rhino and they have to go to work. Tommy yells to get up because they've got to wrestle. Francine says to leave him alone. In the production truck, Cyrus makes them cut away from Joel Gertner's intro. He says he has five people who want to leave if Joel Gertner doesn't leave as color commentator, and makes them cut to the RVD/Awesome angle from last week. TONIGHT: AWESOME/SPIKE II! In the back, Mike Awesome cuts a promo. He says he's forgetting about RVD tonight and thinking about Spike Dudley. He's awesome because he has focus and he's going to beat the shit out of Spike Dudley again because he liked it and says that's what's in store for Rob Van Dam. He yells "GOD DAMN SPIKE DUDLEY" and says he's focused on him tonight and he's gonna beat RVD's ass too. Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano Good showcase for Tajiri. He does a bunch of brutal stuff, his Asai Moonsault, and then slaughters Guido with kicks. Guido tries to strike with Tajiri at the end and embarrasses himself. Tajiri hits an awesome slap, hook kick, and then the Brainbuster for the win. **1/4 Josh Wilcox of the New Orleans Saints is filling in for Raven. In the back, RVD cuts an amazing promo. He says he wants to talk about Sabu, and says he's grateful and all for helping him learn how to wrestle, and he understands that's mad that the student has surpassed the teacher. He can pretend he doesn't understand it, but he knows that he understands that he's better than him. He asks if he always knew he was destined for great things and he needed someone to let him in. He says he would have let Sabu carry his bags and hold the belt he can't win, but he knows he can't beat him, so he teams up with Mike Awesome to try and bring me down. But nobody can bring him down. Because he's Rob Van Dam, the guy who beat his ass at the PPV, will continue to kick his ass. Mike Awesome is a big motherfucker and he's impressed and a hell of a Heavyweight Champion. But he's seen a lot of Heavyweight Champions. He's the best, and Mike Awesome knows that too. That's why the fans chant RVD at him, because he's the Whole Fucking Show. There's a reason they call him that. Match #2: Tommy Dreamer/Josh Wilcox vs. Steve Corino/Rhino Francine and Jack Victory are on the floor. This is an angle as as soon as Wilcox gets in, he gets a chair and hits Dreamer with a chair to the back. Rhino hits the Rhino Driver on Dreamer, and Corino takes the cover to win. *1/2 Francine is mad, so Rhino drags her off to the back as Corino gets the mic. He says old school heroes like him don't shake hands, they hug, and they hug. Wilcox says the fans booed them for two years and says he loves his job and they don't suck, it's the fans that suck. He calls out Dusty Rhodes and turns to the crowd and says he's ready now, BUT DUSTY WALKS DOWN THE RAMP AND GETS IN TO CLEAN HOUSE! YEAH! WILCOX GETS THE ELBOW DROP! Match #3: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Spike Dudley [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] SPIKE STARTS WITH A DIVE! He gets a lot more offense here and has his usual insane fire. He unloads everything he has on Awesome with an Acid Drop off the apron through a table, high flying, chair shots, etc. Awesome cuts him off and hits a running Awesome Bomb through a table in the corner for the win. *** AWESOME BOMB TO THE REF TOO. He gets on the mic and calls out Rob Van Dam. His music hits and RVD comes out BUT SABU RUNS OUT TO ATTACK FROM BEHIND! AWESOME TRIES THE TAKER DIVE, BUT RVD MOVES AND AWESOME WIPES OUT SABU! FLIP DIVE FROM RVD TO AWESOME TO END THE SHOW! |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 25 2014, 09:44 PM Post #9 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV January 30th, 2000 New Orleans, LA The RVD/Awesome/Sabu segment from the ECW Arena airs AGAIN. Match #1: Super Crazy vs. Ricky Banderas EL MESIAS! He's terrible then so he's certainly no good eight years earlier. Crazy does his thing and wins with a Springboard Moonsault. *1/2 The Francine/Raven/Dreamer segment from TNN airs. Then this week's Dusty angle. In the back, Camp Corino cuts a promo. Corino says Tommy Dreamer can't count on anyone, not his fans, Raven, definitely not Francine, and probably not on Dusty Rhodes either. He says all Tommy Dreamer can count on, it's that every day of his life, Steve Corino's gonna screw with him. Tommy's gonna get over huge by saving Josh Wilcox! But he can't count on anyone. Wilcox says he'll be a part of any team if they show him the money, and Victory hands him a wad of cash. R.I.P. BOBBY DUNCUM JR. NOT REALLY. FUCK HIM. Match #2: Jazz vs. Simon Diamond w/ Mitch This happens again. Diamondizer gets the win for Diamond. 3/4* Match #3: Sabu vs. CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Billy Wiles Sabu rules as always, but Joey talks about him like he's a babyface against RVD. This is basically a Sabu showcase, but CW does well enough for himself in between the big stuff. He puts CW through a table and then hits the Triple Jump Moonsault for the win. Joey keeps stressing that it's the old Sabu. ** The RVD promo from TNN airs. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 25 2014, 10:46 PM Post #10 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN February 4th, 2000 Ft. Lauderdale, FL Joel's intro is again cut off from the back by Cyrus. He says nobody wants to see this and now he's got heat with The Network too, and you do NOT want heat with The Network. Cyrus stops and in the back, RVD is going to the back while Fonzie tries to talk him down. RVD goes into Mike Awesome's locker room and jumps over a table to get him. They fight, and Spike Dudley comes and puts Judge Jeff Jones through a table with the Acid Drop. Referees kick them out of the locker room and Cyrus shuts the door. He says The Network will not tolerate that sort of violence. NOW ROLL THAT OPEN. TONIGHT: DUSTY/DREAMER VS. CORINO/RHINO! RVD IN ACTION! In the back, Raven is sitting on a staircase and Sinister Minister says to tell him his troubles. Raven is complaining about Tommy and Francine and Paul comes over and yells at him to leave and says this man is disturbed. Sinister Minister leaves and says it makes him a perfect disciple. Paul makes the camera guy set it down, but it's still on. Paul says he's put up with this for a long time but he has to snap out of it. Raven says nobody listens to him and he's done everything. Paul says to snap out of it, and Raven says if he snaps out of it, he snaps, period. Paul says he's going down the wrong path and he can't help him. Raven asks when he ever helped him. Match #1: Dusty Rhodes/Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino/Rhino Francine and Victory are on the floor. This is a fun set up for Corino/Dusty. Corino gets bloodied for the first time, I think, and Rhino and Corino isolate Tommy really well. Dusty's hot tag is a good time and Rhino and Dreamer have some solid work together. Dusty beats Corino with the Bionic Elbow and then the elbow drop. ** In a pretape, The Impact Players are in a hot tub and that means Dawn Marie is in a bikini. Fantastic! Lance says in the tradition of Calgary...Alberta, Canada, he wants to defend these night in and night out but he doesn't want to demean them either by facing unworthy challengers. Credible encourages the division to destroy each other, and they'll let them know when the right team steps up. Dawn Marie says she's gonna be a star and get naked, but Jason beats her to it and gets in and throws off his shorts. Dawn says the water's hot, and he says it's also very deep. She looks at his dick and seem repulsed, but he keeps flexing, and she shrugs. YEAH JASON, GET IT. In the back, Doring, Roadkill, and Elektra are standing by. Doring says there's new World Tag Team Champions and everyone in the locker room wants a shot at the gold, and they're no exceptions. He says they truly deserve a shot at the belts and says it's going to be a reality. Elektra says when they win those belts, Daniel Christopher Doring better not forgot where he comes from, and she spanks him. Elektra says Dawn Marie isn't half the woman she is. Roadkill watches Elektra do her weird tit dancing thing and then smiles and says CHICKENS. Match #2: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Mikey Whipwreck [ECW Television Championship] Hey, this ruled! Mikey does a great job setting up all the good spots and RVD does lots of good spots. RVD wins with the Five Star Frog Splash. **1/2 In the parking lot, Mike Awesome is standing as an ambulance drives off and says that's Judge Jeff Jones in there, and if he's not okay, RVD and Spike Dudley are dead. |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 26 2014, 02:52 AM Post #11 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV February 6th, 2000 New Orleans, LA The post-match of Awesome/Spike II airs. BREAKING NEWs: RVD SUFFERS BROKEN LEG! Paul Heyman does a voiceover and says further details will come on Friday on TNN. Match #1: New Jack/Balls Mahoney vs. Angel/Vic Grimes This is the same match it always is. Angel beats New Jack with a chair shot off the top rope clean, without any real theft since it was 2 on 2. Also New Jack losing to a fucking chair shot is ridiculous, but it seems like Paul is doing the logical thing and trying to scale back some of the violence to make it mean something again. *1/2 Post-match, Balls lays out Da Baldies with chair shots. Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill w/ Elektra vs. The Dupps vs. Nova/Kid Kash This is the usual deal. Picks up once the Dupps are gone. Kid Kash is a step up from Chetti, but I'm still super super bored of this series. Chris Chetti comes out to slam Elektra but then carries her to the back. Kid Kash fucks up a whole bunch of stuff and then he gets beat with a Flying Splash from Amish. *1/2 OH MY GOD RVD BROKE HIS LEG?! Match #3: Rob Van Dam [c] w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Masato Tanaka [ECW Television Championship] God damn, what a last title defense to have for RVD. Really really enjoyable stuff. It's not crazy or anything, but it's RVD and Masato Tanaka doing their thing for 10-15 minutes. Lots of chair stuff and RVD eats a Super DDT through a table. I'd probably enjoy this more if I had less exposure to them both, I guess. Still, awesome spotfest. RVD hits the Van Fuckinator and Five Star Forg Splash tyo win. ***[b/] |
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| Big Tuna | Jan 28 2014, 09:50 PM Post #12 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN February 11th, 2000 Tallahassee, FL TONIGHT: RAVEN VS. CREDIBLE In the ring, the intro is happening with Joel "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and When They Come To Earth, They All Ride My P --" and Cyrus cuts that off, with the Dupps behind him. He says The Network is not happy with him, but he has more important business. He goes over RVD breaking his leg and says nobody feels worse about it than he does, but they're not concerned with RVD's leg. They at The Network are concerned with advertising revenue, live gate attendance, and RATINGS! The title must be defended on TNN, because that draws ratings, and this show is a very important lead in for ROLLERJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM! HUGE POP. He says the title will be defended tonight by RVD's little friend Spike Dudley and he'll defend it against The Dupps. He can do whatever he wants, because he's Network. Match #1: Spike Dudley [c - substitution] vs. The Dupps [ECW Television Championship] DICK KICK. DOUBLE ACID DROP. Spike wins again. 34/Piss In the back, Raven finds Mikey Whipwreck and says he needs him to take to Tommy Dreamer for him. Mikey says he's wrestling Tommy, and Raven says that's fine, so he can tell him or beat it into him that he and Tommy are best friends and the Francine thing isn't an issue. Raven asks if Mikey feels his pain, and Mikey says he does. Raven does his pose and leave, and Mikey says that's a weird dude. The camera pans back and The Sinister Minister is sitting on a chair on a table and says Raven makes the perfect disciple. They laugh. Roll on snare. Match #1: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Tommy Dreamer w/ Francine Minister comes out to cheer on Mikey and Mikey yells that he's not a baby. They have an uninspired crowd brawl and then do some decent stuff back inside the ring. Minister and Francine get involved, and Raven comes out. He pulls Tommy out of the way of a powder throw, but he gets blinded in the process. Francine tries to help, but he hits the Evenflow on instinct. Tommy attacks Raven for it, and then DDTs Mikey to win. ** In the back, Tommy asks where Francine is. Bill Wiles says he should ask Raven or something, so he attacks him. Midcarders and other jobbers pull him off and Spike comes over to say she's in the hospital three blocks away. Mitch says Raven was blinded and he couldn't see who it was, so Tommy throws him into the wall. Uncalled for. Match #2: Raven vs. Justin Credible w/ Jason Decent brawl. Raven reallytries his best to give Credible a great match, but his execution is real shaky here, so all he can contribute is cool spot ideas. And even then, it's Justin Credible, so the natural inclination is to just fade away into a zone where I know this is a good match as I'm watching it, but literally nothing sticks with me before the angle. Lance Storm comes out to interfere, and Jason gets in to make it a 3 on 1 with Tommy Dreamer at the hospital with Francine. They hit a BAH GAWD STUFF FALLING POWERSLAM due to the super obvious flatback bump. Raven is apparently dead. They hit their catchphrase instead of y'know, trying to pin him. Doring and Roadkill run out to save and it cuts to break. I guess the match is over. **1/4 Coming back, people are getting Raven out of the ring and Dusty Rhodes is among them. Cyrus comes out and says Dusty used to be office, so he'll understand and says they need to get the wrestler out of the ring. Dusty says it's not about the Network, and people get Raven out. Cyrus says they have to start ROLLERJAM soon, and says he's in on the gimmick, because he's with The Network. Dusty says it's about the boys who lay it on the line and he says he came here to watch and got drawn into a situation and got his ass kicked by the Young Turks, because it's about the boys. He says he's been shown respect by the ECW fans that he didn't expect, and Cyrus and the Network haven't done that. Steve Corino comes out and Dusty asks if he didn't learn his lesson. Corino asks if he's afraid he'll tell people about the REAL Dusty Rhodes and Dusty calls him Little Stevie and says to take a powder and pats him on the cheek. He goes to leave, AND CORINO PUSHES DUSTY'S HAT OFF! Dusty says somebody oughta punch him, so he punches him! Victory comes out to get an elbow, and Cyrus gets one too. But Rhino comes to cut it off, an CORINO PUTS DUSTY IN THE FIGURE FOUR! YEAH! The Sandman comes out to save to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 1 2014, 06:07 PM Post #13 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV February 13th, 2000 Jacksonville, FL It's supposed to be Da Baldies vs. Balls Mahoney and New Jack, but Balls comes out alone. He says ECW won't let New Jack work now, so they have to deal with him all by himself. BUT MASATO TANAKA COMES OUT TO SAVE! Match #1: Masato Tanaka/Balls Mahoney vs. Angel/Vic Grimes Tanaka does the best he can to elevate this, but he's not capable of that. And this is a MASSIVE waste of Tanaka. Basically every time he works ECW from now on and doesn't wrestle Tajiri is some bullshit. New Jack comes out to interfere, and Tanaka beats Grimes with the ROLLING Elbow to win. *1/2 BUY THE ECW VIDEO GAME Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri [5] vs. Super Crazy [7] [Best of Forever Series - Match #13 - Japanese Death Match] This rules, but it's lesser than the Mexican Death Match because it's LESS chaotic and insane and with a lesser crowd than Philly. They did a lot of the same things in the ring, but with less blood. Also no crowd brawl or insane dives. They did a completely different ending than last time though, which was nice. Tajiri buried Crazy under chairs and then put a table over him and Double Stomped through the table and onto the chairs for the pin. *** Another update airs and Paul says further updates on RVD are coming, and answers absolutely nothing and uses it to plug an autograph signing on Tuesday for the video game. I love you, Paul. Joel Gertner comes out to announce for the main event. Steve Corino gets the mic and says he's a fan of Cyrus, and he thinks Joel Gertner is lame and shouldn't even be on TNN. HEEL. Gertner leaves and Corino says in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, he suffered the worst humiliation in his entire life and he'll admit that the 162 year old Dusty Rhodes beat his rear end, but he's here for revenge and calls them out. Match #3: Dusty Rhodes/Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino/Jack Victory Fun house show "send them home happy" type deal. Corino and Victory take a wonderful beating, and I love that ECW has top heels here who will actually bump and stooge and not need to constantly look like actual great wrestlers like Credible or Douglas. I'm looking forward to Corino winning some matches at some point to even it out, but it's wonderful. Dusty's hot tag rules as usual and Dusty and Tommy hit Stereo DDTs. AND STEREO BIG ELBOW DROPS. Tommy pins Corino and Dusty pins Victory. **1/4 Rhino comes out to attack them and the Sandman AGAIN comes out at his leisurely pace to save. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 1 2014, 08:11 PM Post #14 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 ECW Television Champion: Rob Van Dam, Since 4/4/1998 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN February 18th, 2000 Tallahassee, FL On the back, Cyrus says it's now only an hour until ROOOOOOOOOOOLLERJAM. He says Dusty Rhodes touched him last week, and ECW has enough heat with The Network. He says RVD has broken his leg and they can't just wait around for him, and this is television and ratings are dropping and money is going out the door. He says they now have No F'n Show and the TV Title WILL be defended on television. He's made a decision and The Network backs him, and that's that RVD will be stripped of the title by ECW. This isn't a note or suggestion, this is a demand, and ECW WILL do what he and The Network tell them to do. And then he'll let them know what they'll do with the TV Title. And since everyone complains about bad promotion, he plugs ECW WHILE ECW IS ON THE AIR. AMAZING. ONLY 57 MINUTES UNTIL ROOOOOOOOOOOLLERJAM. HIT THE OPEN. <3 Cyrus. In the back, Masato Tanaka cuts a promo in Japanese and yells that TONIGHT, HE WINS. TONIGHT: AWESOME/TANAKA! Match #1: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill w/ Elektra This is this match. We are all sick of this match. Chetti is still super super average, even if the other three are slowly improving. Roadkill misses a table dive on the floor, but Doring still beats Chetti with a Butterfly Impaler. *3/4 The Impact Players come out and attack all four men. Credible canes Amish over and over in the back and yells his catchphrase. Match #2: Super Crazy vs. CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Bill Wiles Good showcase for Super Crazy, and CW again looks good against a bigger star with his punches and Superkick and Spinebuster. Crazy hits his dive and all his stuff well and they get a table involved for Anderson to hit the Spinebuster through. The next table doesn't break for a Moonsault, and CW flips off it and the table falls over on him. CRAZY HITS A MOONSAULT TO BURY HIM UNDER IT AND ALMOST KILLS HIMSELF ON THE UPRIGHT TABLE LEG GOD DAMN. Crazy covers to win. **1/2 A recap of last week's Raven/Dreamer stuff airs. A horrible pre-tape with Nova and Chetti airs. Chetti says he set up the ring for three years and his head made an impact every time Taz dropped him on it and he didn't carry Shawn Michaels' bags to get over. Nova says he didn't either, but then carrying Raven's bags is about the same for ECW. They're coming for the Impact Players, so whatever. Match #3: Mike Awesome [c] vs. Masato Tanaka [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] Look at that, it's great again! This is supposed to be a big deal that Awesome is without JJJ here, but they work their usual match with some changes and new spots so it ends up being a total non-factor. Still, these two doing work for 10+ means this is going to rule. TORNADO DDT OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE! FUCK YEAH TANAKA! Tanaka has counters for minor stuff, but not the big bombs, so Awesome keeps chucking Awesome Bombs and Splashes and the Awesome Liger Bomb falling into the ring through a table gets the win, like in their last match. Joey makes a huge deal about one of the 2.9 counts that Tanaka got and says Tanaka should be champion. Shut up. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 1 2014, 08:24 PM Post #15 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV February 20th, 2000 Tallahassee, FL The show opens with Vic Grimes being put through a flaming table by New Jack and Balls. They wait to long and the fire is mostly out, so lol. Angel attacks New Jack with a chair post-match and Balls too. He then escapes and drags Vic Grimes to the back, who isn't really selling the spot at all. Match #1: Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano vs. Chaz Taylor Guido showcase. Taylor is a local guy and not horrible or amazing. Guido wins with the Maritato. *3/4 In the back, Joey Styles announces that RVD is out for 12 weeks, and will miss Living Dangerously, so it's the first ECW PPV without Mr. PPV. He then throws it to RVD/Sabu from Guilty as Charged. Match #2: Kid Kash vs. Simon Diamond w/ Mitch This is absolutely a match. There's good parts to this and Kash is clearly talented and just hasn't figured out how to be a great babyface. And I don't think he ever does, going by how he suddenly becomes amazing in 2004 once he's a heel in TNA for a while. Jazz comes out to stop Mitch's interference. She hits Simon with the shitty X-Factor, and Kash covers to win. Because this feud had to continue, right? *3/4 A recap of the attacks on Dusty Rhodes air. Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka from TNN airs. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 1 2014, 09:51 PM Post #16 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN February 25th, 2000 Milwaukee, WI Cyrus is in the ring to open the show and says The Network can't have the TV Title on the shelf for 12 weeks, which is THREE MONTHS. That's insane. He says the Whole F'N Leg is broken and that means there's no F'N show, and he's made a decision and tonight, The Network has decided that he will appoint a new ECW TV Champion! AND HE APPOINTS RHINO! Camp Corino is on the floor in cowboy hats and cheers and Cyrus says ratings are through the roof for Rhino, RVD broke his leg in a match with Rhino, and he's going to have the title brought out so he can hand it to Rhino, and he wants Paul Heyman to hand him the title personally. And he wants a coffee while he's at it. Paul Heyman comes out with the TV Title and looks pissed before the intro video hits. Coming back, Paul is in the ring and Cyrus says he knew one day their roles would be reversed and asks where his coffee is. He says Paul's going to sell Rob Van Dam out and bend over for The Network right here. He demands the title right now and yells to give it to him, AND PAUL HITS HIM WITH THE BELT. BUT RHINO GORES PAUL HOLY SHIT. CYRUS BEATS ON PAUL AND THE SANDMAN COMES TO SAVE AGAIN. Paul rolls out and Corino and Victory get in the ring. The Sandman's music is the most powerful save in pro wrestling in 2000. The Sandman comes in and the ref comes out, so it's a match! Match #1: The Sandman vs. Rhino w/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory Decent five minutes before booking happens. Sandman does the Rolling Rock to Rhino under a ladder and they have a nice little brawl. Victory gets knocked off the apron, and Corino runs into the White Russian Leg Sweep. Rhino gets caned, but Tajiri runs out and mists Sandman for the DQ. ** GORE THROUGH A CORNER TABLE. GORE GORE GORE GORE. BUT SUPER CRAZY COMES OUT AND CLEANS HOUSE TO SAVE! YEAH! Camp Corino holds Rhino back on the floor, and he yells that he broke RVD's leg. Put it on a t-shirt. I BROKE ROB VAN DAM'S LEG. DAMN I AM GOOD. In the back, The Dupps try to talk shit to Danny Doring when he's complaining about Elektra's excuses for constantly being late, and he challenges them to a LLT match. YES. Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. The Dupps [Losers Leave Town] Doring and Roadkill squash them in under a minute and win with a Wheelbarrow Fameasser. FUCK YEAH DORING AND ROADKILL SUDDENLY. WHAT IS GOING ON?! 3/4* Tommy Dreamer comes out and gets on the mic and says this must be ECW country, which is weird because it's not the North East. Dreamer calls Raven out to finish this but Francine comes out. SUP FRANCINE. She says she knows what he's trying to do and he's trying to defend her honor and protect her and that's nice, but she saw the tape and it was an accident. She goes over all her managing accomplishments and says she even guided Tommy to his only ECW title. The Impact Players come out and Credible says they're just here to watch. Tommy challenges them and Lance says to get a partner. Tommy asks who in the audience wants to be his partner and Francine says it'll be Raven. Match #3: The Impact Players [c] vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer [ECW World Tag Team Championship] Women on the floor, Raven in street clothes. They have a fun little match here and use a row of chairs as a weapon in the ring, and Tommy hits the DVD off the middle rope through a table on Lance. Otherwise this didn't stand out a ton. Sinister Minister comes out and hands Raven a bag of powder. He goes to throw it in Lance's face, but Lance ducks and he blinds Dreamer. AND DREAMER ACCIDENTALLY DDTS FRANCINE NOW. Raven and Minister carry her off to the back, and Tommy is alone. Spike Flatback Tombstone gets the win for the Players. **1/2 In a promo, Sinister Minister says things are getting very deep here. The camera pans out. He's in an abandoned pool. I get it. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 1 2014, 10:12 PM Post #17 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW Hardcore TV February 27th, 2000 Milwaukee, WI The whole opening angle and match from TNN opens HCTV. To get heat, Lou Dangerously calls Farve a pill popping alcoholic piece of trash. TELL 'EM, LOU. Match #1: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ Lou E. Dangerously This is absolutely a tag team match. Apparently Nova only looks good against Doring/Roadkill and Chetti is still horrible. CW Anderson isn't good enough to guide this into being good. Lou interferes and CW beats Nova with the Anderson Spinebuster. Joey says that sucks. Biased piece of shit. *3/4 The whole Dreamer segment and Tag Title match from TNN airs. A Behind the Mat trailer airs. Match #2: Masato Tanaka vs. Angel w/ Tony DeVito This is a thing that happened. AND YEAH, LET'S BRING IN TANAKA AND WASTE HIM ON THE FUCKING BALDIES. TANAKA/TAJIRI. STOP BEING A PUSSY AND BOOK THE MATCH. NOBODY WANTS THIS. AND YOU'VE RUN AWESOME/TANAKA FOUR TIMES IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS. TANAKA/CRAZY EVEN? TANAKA/RHINO! TANAKA/CORINO! Tanaka wins with a Rolling Elbow. *1/2 Devito attacks post-match and New Jack saves. DANGAN JACK kills everyone for a while until the show ends. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2014, 12:02 AM Post #18 |
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 1/9/2000 ECW on TNN March 3rd, 2000 Milwaukee, WI In the back before the credits, Mike Awesome said Spike Dudley made this personal for him too, and he'll give him a beating that's awesome. Match #1: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Spike Dudley [ECW World Heavyweight Championship] This is a real kind of diminishing returns deal. Still, I won't ever tire of it, even if they never reach the level of the PPV match. Spike hits a cool Bulldog off the stage through a table, but otherwise he died. Spike eats a massive Release German and like three Awesome Bombs, but he gets his arm up. Awesome then hits a running one through a corner table for the win. **3/4 In the back, Masato Tanaka tries to cut a promo and Dawn Marie walks over. She says her men are trying to get ready and yells to keep it down. He says things and she yells to learn English. She pokes him, so he grabs her hand. She screams and The Impact Players come over and beat him down. In the ring, Steve Corino and Jack Victory are in cowboy hats with Lou E. Dangerously and Erik Watts, who is wearing the old pre-UWF Mid South title. Corino says as a result of some fine booking, he was allowed to handpick Erik as his opponent tonight and he picked him because they're a lot alike. They believe in the same things, and that's people not going through tables, not bashed in the head with a chair, and absolutely no way would he want to bleed for these people. In the old school, IF YOU WHEEL, when your dad was the great Bill Watts and he was carrying the fat overweight Dusty Rhodes and drew sell-out houses, they had a Texas Bullrope Match. So to prove he's better than Dusty, he's going to make Erik bleed and cry and drag him to each and every corner until he tells him that Steve Corino is the new American Dream. Corino then turns on the city and says their hero was The Crusher, AND THEY KNOW THAT THE CRUSHER WAS A CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL AND A SEXUAL DEVIANT LIKE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM. Referee HC Loc (fuck yeah) says he happens to be from Milwaukee. They all attack the ref and bloody him. Corino shakes Lou E. Dangerously's hand and congratulates him on the great booking. Corino then challenges Dusty Rhodes to face him in an old school Bullrope Match and everyone knows Dusty is a coward and he's the man who killed JCP and the man that almost bankrupted the WWF in 1989 AND HE CUT THE BRAKE LINES ON MAGNUM TA'S CAR. CORINO IS GOD. Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [Three Way Dance] This ruled AS MOSTLY USUAL. Guido finally had a clear role besides a guy being shoehorned in, as he was a vulture in the first half. He only did offense when one of them was tied up or had their backs turned and was harmless enough as that. Tajiri eliminates him with a ridiculous Brainbuster. Tajiri/Crazy is wonderful as always. Kicks and dives and the best pairing in ECW history. Crazy wins with a Springboard Moonsault. *** In the back, RHINO GOES SUPER CRAZY INTO A ROW OF LOCKERS AND KNOCKS THEM OVER! HOLY SHIT! FUCK YEAH! Cyrus is behind him and says nobody stands up to The Network. In the ring, Francine has the mic and is with Tommy Dreamer. She thanks him for apologizing to her and to Raven, but says she knows he DDT'd her on purpose. She says he knew what he was doing and probably had it planned and people didn't come to see his ass, they came to see her tits. Yes. She says he's not talented enough to survive without her and she got him over. She says he never won anything before her AND SAYS "WHAT ABOUT RAVEN?" HUGE POP. She says Tommy might need her, but Raven WANTS her. Tommy gets the mic and says since he wants her, she can take her fake tits and get out of the ring since she believes his crap. She slaps him so he tries a Piledriver, but Raven comes to save and hits the Evenflow. Raven and Francine leave. The Impact Players then come out and attack Dreamer. Credible says Tommy's a loser and doesn't have a partner in the world. They go to kill him, BUT MASATO TANAKA COMES TO SAVE! IT'S A MATCH! Match #3: The Impact Players [c] w/ Dawn Marie vs. Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka [ECW World Tag Team Championship] They follow this up with a poorly lit Arena brawl, so this isn't actually good until they get back to the ring. Fun high energy stuff thanks to Tanaka. Lance seems reinvigorated by getting an opponent who he can fight without having to do a lot of weapon stuff. It's also pretty short, so it's better as an angle than a match. Tanaka pulls off the upset with the Diamond Dust on Credible. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2014, 12:21 AM Post #19 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka, Since 2/26/2000 ECW Hardcore TV March 5th, 2000 Cincinnati, OH The Dupps come out to try and get their jobs back, but The Sandman comes out and destroys them. YAY. In the ring, Cyrus is with a guy in a ROCK AND BOWL shirt. He greets everyone and says he's from the office, and he's Network. He then does RVD's point and says T-N-N. Cyrus berates Jim Molineaux for hyping the video game and says it's a tremendous game, but they have more important business. AND HE PLUGS ROCK AND BOWL. Cyrus says Jim is a ratings killer, unlike Rock and Bowl. Jim clotheslines the bowler, so Cyrus attacks him and dubs Rock and Bowl the winner. Match #1: Super Crazy vs. CW Anderson w/ The New Dangerous Alliance This is really good again, but much shorter and more of a Crazy showcase than before. CW puts him through a corner table with a Wheelbarrow Suplex, but otherwise Super Crazy has his way with him. Springboard Moonsault ends it. ** Jazz/Simon is supposed to happen again, but Cyrus comes out and says the Network is not happy. He says they've had a few too many intergender match ups and it was a neat trick for a while, but The Network has ridden the horse to death and this is a ratings killer now, so they can no longer have her out here. They need to find her a credible opponent now and makes Diamond and Mitch leave and says they have a bonus now. AND HE BRINGS OUT RHINO. YES. KILL. Match #2: Rhino vs. Jazz GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE. PILEDRIVER. FUCK YEAH. ***** The Tommy/Francine/Raven segment airs, followed by the Tag Title switch. |
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| Big Tuna | Feb 2 2014, 04:56 AM Post #20 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION ECW Television Champion: Vacant ECW World Tag Team Champions: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka, Since 2/26/2000 ECW on TNN March 10th, 2000 Philadelphia, PA In the ring, Joey and Gertner hype up Living Dangerously in spite of lacking any kind of real card and Gertner says he's going to fuck Cyrus' mom. Cyrus comes out and says this is enough. Styles says he's done and he'll risk his reputation and job because he's unwilling to interview and asshole like him. Styles and Gertner leave and Cyrus gets the mic and says he is Network and that's T-N-N. Cyrus says he wants to have a TV Title Tournament starting tonight and culminating at the PPV, and someone better give him the TV Title. Bill Alfonso comes out and Cyrus says he's had it up to here with he and Heyman and these people and he's canceling ECW from TNN. Effective immediately, ECW is off TNN and tune in next week for his new show, EXTREME CHAMPIONSHIP SHUFFLEBOARD. Cyrus says RVD sent a flunkie out because he's too much of a coward to face The Network. RVD comes out carried on a Scotty Riggs' shoulders and has an ankle cast and crutches. RVD says Scotty here is one of his best friends, which Cyrus might not get since he's such a fucking prick. RVD says he's here for a progress report, and he feels pretty good. He's got a broken leg, sure, but he's Rob Van Dam and his spirits aren't down and it won't stop him from beating his ass if he doesn't watch what he says. He says he's been here for four years and seen ECW grow and he's turned down offers because he believes in ECW, and he's hearing that because of a shitty piece of metal, he's going to take that away, and he can't let that happen. RVD takes off the title and says good luck finding someone to fill his shoes and drops the belt at his feet. Cyrus picks it up and RVD says whoever he gets to carry that, remember that he'll be back to kick their fucking ass and take back his TV belt and he'll do it on his network. They go to leave, BUT RHINO COMES OUT AND GORES FONZIE! Scotty holds RVD back and they leave, and Cyrus yells that he has the belt. He says he won't just put it on Rhino, and says they're starting this tournament tonight and says to send out the best he has now for the first Quarterfinal. SPIKE DUDLEY COMES OUT! Match #1: Rhino w/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory vs. Spike Dudley [ECW TV Title Tournament - Quarterfinals] This ruled. Spike gets a run of roll ups before he starts using chairs and stuff, and it goes to the crowd. AND RHINO HURLS SPIKE OFF THE STAGE AND THROUGH A TABLE AND INTO THE RAILING AND BLEACHERS HOLY SHIT. Spike is fucked up in the knee, but he still fights back. He hits Victory with the Acid Drop and has Corino set, BUT RHINO GORES HIM SIDEWAYS THROUGH A TABLE CORNER AND HIS KNEE IS DEAD. Corino yells to kill him, and Rhino deadlifts him into the Piledriver to win. *** Match #2: The Impact Players w/ Dawn Marie & Jason vs. Jado & Gedo Jado & Gedo have begun their improvement here, and they're good enough that they're arguably on Lance's level at this point (although I'm not as high on him as some, especially when he tries to punch and brawl), and they're clearly better than Credible. This is JIP, but we get a good 7 minutes or so when it picks up. Jason gets taken out and then Jado and Gedo go wild with nearfalls. The arena crowd is HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT for this and it elevates it to the Players' first outright great match. I really believed Jado and Gedo had this at points, but Credible gets in a flash Superkick on Gedo, and then they won with a Spike Piledriver. *** Joey now says Lance and Credible have a Tag Title rematch on PPV. LIVING DANGEROUSLY UPDATE: -Corino vs. Dusty in the Bullrope Match is official -It's now a Three Way Dance with Impact Players vs. Tanaka/Dreamer vs. Raven/Awesome -And then the Semi-Finals and Finals Match #3: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka [c] vs. Mike Awesome/Raven w/ Judge Jeff Jones & Francine [ECW World Tag Team Championship] ALSO RULED. FUCK YEAH ECW 2000 SO FAR. Dreamer wants at Raven as usual, and Awesome/Tanaka rules. This is constant action, and it's all cool stuff done crisply in front of a great crowd. Awesome and Raven isolate Dreamer for some great stuff and Raven gets on the mic to taunt Tommy. Awesome finishing run of huge huge moves and saves. Dreamer takes one of the most brutal ECW spots ever when Raven DROP TOE HOLDS HIM FACE-FIRST THROUGH THE EDGE OF A TABLE. JESUS CHRIST. Awesome hits a Running Awesome Bomb through a corner table and Raven covers to win the belts. *** In another pretape, The Sinister Minister goes over recent ECW events and says Living Dangerously will be a head on collision. Zoom out and...yep. Wrecked car. Stop this. |
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6:54 PM Jul 10