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Simon Watches ECW - 2000-1
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 08:35 PM (7,835 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Vacant
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Mike Awesome/Raven, Since 3/4/2000

ECW Hardcore TV
March 12th, 2000
Philadelphia, PA


The show opens with the final two minutes of a Guido/Kash TV Title QF match. Guido wins.

The RVD/Network segment and Rhino/Spike from TNN air.

On the ranch, Dusty Rhodes cuts a promo. He says this is his camera crew, not the Network's crew. He says he's forgot more about network, production, and drawing money than Cyrus will ever now, and Paul E's walked down that path too. But Cyrus is better than them at kissing ass. The Network won't stop him from this next foree, if you wheel. He didn't come to ECW to get over or start this thing and he's been World Champion before. He got thrown into a situation with young Steve Corino trying to touch just a little bit of that lightning bolt. He's got his bullrope in the bag with a new bell and he will be at Living Dangerously and he was doing this stuff long before Corino was born and he ain't gonna get out. He says Steve Corino likes his wrestling history, so he should know the blood that's been on his cowbell. Harley Race, Ric Flair, King Curtis Iaukea, Bill Watts, Billy Graham, the Funks, they've all felt the steel, but Corino doesn't deserve their bell just yet.

The updated PPV ad for Living Dangerously now only shits on WCW PPVs. CAN'T EVEN PRETEND WWF ISN'T THE KING OF PPV IN 2000. LOVE IT.

Match #1: Super Crazy vs. CW Anderson w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Bill Wiles [ECW TV Title Tournament - Quarterfinals]
On the third time, you know how this goes. Crazy is the best, there's some table bumps, and it's a good little showcase match. This bordered on actually great and CW looked the best he has so far with some awesome power spots and busting Crazy open pretty bad. Crazy hits a Frankensteiner through a table on the floor and then rolls CW in to hit a Springboard Moonsault to win.
**3/4

The ending moments of the Tag Title switch air.

Match #2: The Sandman vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri w/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory [ECW TV Title Tournament - Quarterfinals]
YEAH. This is the best. Tajiri murders Sandman with kicks and brutal spots, and Sandman is as wonderfully reckless as always. Tajiri again breaks out the table Double Stomp spot, and Sandman hits the Frankensteiner off the top. Corino hits the ref with a cowbell, but Sandman hits Victory with the White Russian Leg Sweep. Corino also gets caned, but Rhino comes to save. Tajiri and Rhino beat on him, BUT SANDMAN DUCKS THE MIST AND RHINO GETS BLINDED! SANDMAN MOVES AND RHINO GORES TAJIRI THROUGH THE TABLE! CANE SHOTS TO RHINO AND SANDMAN COVERS TAJIRI TO WIN!
***
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Vacant
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Mike Awesome/Raven, Since 3/4/2000

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ECW LIVING DANGEROUSLY 2000
MARCH 12TH, 2000
DANBURY, CT


To open the show, Sinister Minister talks about the seven deadly sins and names ECW people for it. WHATEVER.

In the ring, Joey and Gertner do their intro and Cyrus comes out to stop them and says The Network doesn't like how he delivers there 18-34 year old gay male demographic and it's time for The Network's voice to handle this PPV. Gertner says this is an ECW PPV production, not a TNN production, and it means he doesn't have to watch his mouth, asshole. Cyrus threatens to kick his ass, and Gertner wants to fight. Cyrus backs off, but then cheap shots him and attacks before Joey pulls him off.

After the video, Corino, Rhino, and Jack Victory are in the ring. Corino is on the mic and says all he sees tonight is a bunch of drunk sexually deviant douchebags. He then sees the biggest one of all, and points out The Sandman's wife. He goes to ringside and says he's heard all the stories and she's a hardcore icon in the locker room. She is a horrible actress. She says she really left Sandman for Raven and says The Sandman isn't even Tyler's dad. Corino says to put him over on PPV and calls her a whore. CORINO DRAGS HER OVER AND THROWS HER IN THE RING! Rhino and Victory hold her on her knees but The Sandman runs in to save. PILEDRIVER ON SANDMAN. AND RHINO GORES LORI THROUGH A CORNER TABLE. Security rushes in to break it up. Styles tells Cyrus to quit being a heel. UGH. STOP IT. STOP THAT. Camp Corino leaves, and Sandman carries Lori to the back.

Corino gets back in the ring and says he's got one whore left, and he's not waiting to kick the OLD American Dream's ass. IF YOU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL.

Match #1: Dusty Rhodes vs. Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory [Texas Bullrope Match]
Really fun match, but not great. I mean, it's a 2000 Dusty Rhodes match, it's not going to be great, but it's absolutely worth seeing. Corino did a wonderful job with all the necessary heel stuff. Awesome selling and bumping and Corino debuts the spot where his bicep gets cut in a brawl which has become something of a trademark for him. Joey finally starts to sell Corino's performance which probably means his push is starting now. Dusty and Referee HC Loc tape a cow bell to Corino's head and Dusty hammers it in with a chair shot and he follows with the elbow to win.
**1/4

In the back, Joey says Lori is going to the hospital now. Cyrus asks if The Sandman is with her, and Joey says of course. Cyrus says he's not here for his match, and it'll be hard to wrestle from the hospital. And given these understandable circumstances, THE SANDMAN WILL HAVE TO FORFEIT HIS MATCH WITH RHINO! AND RHINO GOES TO THE FINALS!

In a pretape, the "FBI" talks. Guido says they're not a joke anymore, etc. Sal says this is an Italian Death Match tonight.

Before the match, Lou says he's the only one with enough guts to name a PPV after himself. The best.

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles
Elektra and Lou are ringside. This was really fun when CW was in the ring. Doring and Roadkill looked good again, and Joey kept talking about how if they win, they get the next title shot at whoever leaves with the Tag Titles. Which knowing ECW? God damnit, they're losing. And yep, Elektra crotches Roadkill on the top to turn. Lou hits Doring with the phone to the back of the head and CW hits the Spinebuster to win.
**1/4

In the back, The Impact Players say nobody walks out but them, and they're walking out World Tag Team Champions. Credible says this is a guarantee, and repeats everything Lance Storm said.

Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash is supposed to happen, but before the bell, Mike Awesome comes out! He tells everyone to leave the ring if they don't want to die, and Diamond's posse (now with Tom Marquez) leaves the ring. Kid Kash attacks Mike Awesome though, and a match breaks out.

Match #3: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Kid Kash [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Kash gets a few things in, but it's mostly just a squash, and Awesome is a great squash guy. Awesome Bomb off the top through a table ends it.
**

JAzz helps Kid Kash post-match, but Simon Diamond comes back out with Jado and Gedo to attack. Chetti and Nova come out. FLIMSY EXCUSE FOR MATCH.

Match #4: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. Jado & Gedo
This sure as fuck happened. Nova and Chetti insisted on a go-go-go spotfest, but they lack the coordination to do that at a reasonably high level. Jado and Gedo tried, but it wasn't working and the horrible people won with the Faggot Splash.
*3/4

In the back, Elektra is with the New Dangerous Alliance. Elektra is mad at Paul for never helping her, and says Doring called her a jealous psycho bitch, and he couldn't hang with her because he's a little boy. She says Roadkill was jealous because his tits were bigger than his. What? She says Lou E. Dangerously is the new boss.

Match #5: Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [ECW TV Title Tournament - Semi-Finals]
Fun match. They use tables and Crazy does his dive and all that fun stuff. Super Crazy hits a Powerbomb through a table and follows with a Brainbuster on the broken table to win. YAY!
**3/4

Match #6: Balls Mahoney vs. Kintaro Kanemura

KANEMURA COMES OUT TO "DANGER ZONE". LANA. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANA. This is two minutes and Balls wins with the Nutcracker Suite.
*1/4

Da Baldies hit the ring and beat down Mahoney. Grimes does a falling flip off the top turnbuckle to Balls through a table on the floor, and New Jack comes out. They have a brawl and New Jack and Grimes go into the crowd. They set up two tables and climb a scaffold. It's very awkward and New Jack fulls back and pulls Grimes off. They're not high enough up from the top table, and New Jack's feet go through first and he then overshoots the actual landing. Grimes has no real padding and just flips off to the floor and then lands on New Jack. God damnit. They take them away and Cyrus and Joey kill time for like 5-10 minutes going over the PPV so far and what's next.

Match #7: Mike Awesome/Raven [c] vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer vs. The Impact Players [ECW World Tag Team Championship - Three Way Dance]
All the various people are ringside. Fun match, but I have no fucking idea why this is under 10 minutes. Nothing on this show is any longer than 10 minutes. Awesome is out first after a Rolling Elbow from Tanaka, and then Lance and Credible pin Nommy after a Spike Piledriver. Ugh. This could have been great.
**1/4

Cyrus runs out and celebrates with them and says The Network approves of the new Tag Team Champions. They leave, and Cyrus introduces Rhino, along with Corino and Victory, for the main event. Cyrus says he doesn't give a rats ass if you or that idiot Heyman likes it, and when The Network wants something, The Network gets it. AND PAUL COMES OUT AND YELLS THAT HE IS SO GOD DAMNED FUCKING TIRED OF THE FUCKING NETWORK! YEAH! He thought TNN would be the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to ECW until he learned that they had to deal with a fucking asshole like him. Joel Gertner comes out and says they have a show to run AND HE HAS SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS! Joel says The Network goes down right fucking now, and Super Crazy comes out.

Match #8: Super Crazy vs. Rhino w/ Cyrus [ECW TV Title Tournament - Finals]
The stupid fucking crowd responds to that awesome pre-match and these guys having a really good match by loudly chanting "WE WANT SANDMAN!" until Crazy does the crowd dive. Rhino still isn't amazing, but his weaknesses get covered by being booked like an unstoppable machine and Crazy taking a bunch of insane stuff. This is only like 8 minutes, unfortunately. There's a ref bump and Tajiri comes out to murder Super Crazy, and it's the best. BUT ROB VAN DAM COMES OUT WITH RIGGS AND FONZIE. RIGGS TAKES OUT TAJIRI AND RVD BREAKS THE CRUTCH ON RHINO. HE'S FINE, BUT RVD DROPS HIM THROUGH A TABLE. SUPER CRAZY HITS A MOONSAULT FOR THE BELT.
**1/4

The Networks beats all the faces up, AND THE SANDMAN MAKES THE SAVE! FUCK YEAH! Worst ECW PPV in a while though.
Edited by Big Tuna, Feb 3 2014, 03:31 PM.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW on TNN
March 17th, 2000
Asbury Park, NJ


The show opens with the final minute of Impact Players vs. Nova & Chetti. Lance rolls up Chetti after a cane shot from Credible from the floor.

A recap of Living Dangerously follows the intro.

In the back after the PPV, Rob Van Dam is with Super Crazy and Fonzie, and makes Super Crazy say his name with him. RVD tells Crazy not to take this too personally and he couldn't stand Rhino carrying his title. He says at least Super Crazy will work hard to defend it, and he's a superstar now. He says he's going to be coming back soon and says to remember that it's his title and he'll come back to win it. He says to enjoy it while it lasts, and Super Crazy clearly understands none of this.

Match #1: The Sandman vs. Angel w/ Da Baldies
This is obviously before the PPV, because Grimes is alive. This is a waste of The Sandman, and he does stuff and probably wins. He destroys the cane on their heads and Sandman wins. Yep.
*1/2

In the back, Cyrus is with Rhino. He says when this started, it worked because he was smarter and Rhino was tougher than everyone else. It wasn't personal, it was all about Network business. He tells Joey and Gertner to enjoy themselves and tells everyone in ECW to enjoy themselves, and he can send ECW back to the stone age if he wants to. And the only thing better than killing ECW would be to keep it alive so he could play with it and mess with it and torture it, and that's what The Network is going to do now. Rhino says RVD, Crazy, and Sandman are all responsible. NOBODY messes with them. Cyrus says The Network is behind him 100%.

In the ring, the referee tells Corino and Victory that he has a match, and whispers who it's with, and Corino freaks out. Corino says he's a yes man and he's done everything he's asked, and asks when he got heat with the office. Corino says there's no way he's wrestling him, and that man is a convicted felon, a mass murderer, and there's no way he's going to wrestle New Jack. And New Jack comes out.

Match #2: New Jack vs. Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory
Fun match, but it's basically a squash. New Jack destroys Corino with stuff, and then takes Jack Victory into the crowd. He takes him out with the balcony dive, and then gets back to the ring. Tajiri comes out to distract the ref, and then Rhino runs out and Gores New Jack. He puts Corino on top, and the ref counts to three.
**

In the back, Joey and Joel break that Spike Dudley needs knee surgery and will be out for nine months.

In the back, Raven cuts a promo. He says he can understand what Tommy's going through, haven been laid out and his girl stolen from him. But to put it into terms he might understand, lets pretend life is like a game of cards, and the cards are made of finely blown glass. And one day, something happens and the cards are swept off the table and shatter into a million pieces and they just want those cards back. Because the point in the first place was just to play a game of cards. Francine then drops the phrase, and is dressed like Raven, and it's weirdly hot.

Match #3: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Masato Tanaka [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This isn't even fun anymore. Awesome works on the ribs, but then Tanaka doesn't really sell it at all, and booking gets in the way of this getting an actual finishing run. Raven runs out with Jones distracting the ref after the Rolling Elbow, and he hits Tanaka with the Evenflow. The ref sees him, so Raven also hits the ref with the Evenflow. Awesome puts Tanaka through a floor table with an Awesome Bomb, and that ends the match.
**1/4

Tommy Dreamer runs out to fight them, but he eats the Evenflow. AND TOMMY GETS THE AWESOME BOMB THROUGH A CORNER TABLE! Tommy is dead and everyone runs out to get Tommy out and tend to Tanaka. AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE. Nice try, big man, but I don't sleep.


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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW Hardcore TV
March 19th, 2000
Asbury Park, NJ


Slow mo of Spike's injuries opens the show, and then a recap of the Lori/Rhino attack angle.

Then the full PPV recap.

Then the ending of Corino/New Jack from TNN.

HAMCORE HEAVEN: MAY 14TH!

The post-turn Elektra/Dangerously Alliance promo airs.

In the back, Danny Doring cuts a promo with Roadkill behind him. He says he's had hotter, younger, tastier, and wetter women then her, and calls her a 53 year old bag of silicon and calls her a duck lipped bag of crap he picked up with a stack of singles. FUCK YEAH DANNY DORING. He says no matter bad it smells, it just tastes like -- CHICKENS. They leave, and Sinister Minister laughs as the camera pans back. He is eating a can of tuna and says Hell hath no fury like a tuna scorned.

The Impact Players vs. Jado & Gedo match then airs.

In the back, The Impact Players cut a promo. Lance says they're even hotter now, and they let these slip once, but they're never slipping away again. Credible says these belts belong to the Impact Players. CATCHPHRASE.

Match #1: Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
This is their match. I am sick of this fucking match. I am sick of ECW pretending Little Guido is in the same fucking stratosphere as Yoshihiro Tajiri and Super Crazy, because he just isn't. This boring little fake shooter who can't commit to any actual style and this will never be anything good in his career. It's no wonder his best work was when Tracy Smothers forced him to commit to simply being a fun cowardly heel team. Super Crazy hits a kneeling Spiral Bomb to win.
**1/4

Mike Awesome vs. Tanaka from the last TNN show airs.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW on TNN
March 24th, 2000
Salem, NH


In the ring, Joey and Gertner do their intro. They then bring out the NEW Television Champion, Super Crazy. He says stuff in Mexican and Joey says his first title defense will be against his greatest nemesis, AND BRINGS OUT TAJIRI! YEAH! Tajiri comes out with Cyrus, and he gets the mic. He says he speaks Spanish and heard what he said, so he's just decided that this match will be a Japanese Death Match, which Tajiri has never lost! Which hey cool, but they're only had one in ECW, and it's basically the same as the Mexican Death Match. So I'm not sure why Crazy is so upset with this. Gertner wants to fight him and takes his brace off, but Cyrus threatens to have him arrested, thrown off of TNN, and thrown in jail this time. Joey wants to fight him too, but Cyrus threatens to do the same and says with no announcers, the show will be off the Network, and ECW is done. So they finally back down. THANK GOD. DON'T ANNOUNCE TAJIRI/CRAZY XIV AND THEN DELAY IT WITH THIS FAGGOTRY.

Match #1: Super Crazy [c] [7] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [6] [ECW Television Championship/Best of Forever Series - Match #14 - Japanese Death Match]
RULED AGAIN, NO WAY. This is better than the last one, but cannot touch the Mexican Death Match. This is only like 7-8 minutes and much more of a TV style deal than the insane thing they just happened to put on TV. They hold back a good deal, but have a few nutty things. Tajiri has an open chair and Buzzsaw Kicks the backrest into Crazy's face. Tables get broken and a Moonsault onto Tajiri on a table doesn't work. So Crazy Powerbombs him through it for the win. Tajiri cannot catch a break in this series.
***

Post-match, Steve Corino and Jack Victory hit the ring to attack. Rhino comes out too for a 3 on 1, and the Sandman comes to save. He canes everyone, BUT TAJIRI BLINDS HIM WITH GREEN MIST! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE ON RHINO! PILEDRIVER! PILEDRIVER ON CRAZY TOO! I FUCKING LOVE THE NETWORK! Cyrus hits the ring with the mic and says nobody, not Super Crazy and not this drunk mental case, stands up to The Network! He challenges someone to come down and stop them, and Balls Mahoney comes out! The Network abandons Cyrus, BUT RHINO COMES AROUND THE BACK AND BALLS TURNS INTO ANOTHER GORE! FUCK YEAH! They stomp on Balls and Cyrus says NOBODY AND HE MEANS NOBODY STANDS UP TO THE NETWORK.

In the back earlier today, Da Baldies found Tommy Dreamer staring at a Coke machine and he says he needs change. Angel says he likes him, but Raven put out a hit on him, and they're taking it. Angel and Devito attack him and Grimes joins in and they say it's nothing personal.

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer vs. Vic Grimes w/ Da Baldies
This sure happens! I have no idea why this push is happening, and why Tomym is being wasted on this, but I guess it has a good amount to do with New Jack being injured and them needing stuff for Da Baldies to do. Tommy gradually gets rid of all of them, they have shitty arena brawls, and Grimes misses his flip senton onto a ladder, and Tommy covers to win.
*3/4

In the ring, Raven and Awesome are there, and Sinister Minister says this gathering of the sacred and the profane was his idea, and says he was behind Mike Awesome and Raven as a tag team. He says it was his plan that made them World Tag Team Champions, and you have to give the devil his due. Francine is in the ring and he calls her the Whore of Babylon and says he'd love to hear what pearly gobs of wisdom ooze out of her mouth, and says to show them her...intelligence. Francine says nobody even knows what his name is in ECW and everyone knows and loves her. She says she's managed World Champions, TV Champions, and Tag Team Champions and she even led Tommy Dreamer to a title, for Christ's sake. She says she accomplished this and everyone knows it. WHAT ABOUT HER? WHAT ABOUT FRANCINE? The Impact Players then come out to face off with them...and the show ends. Great.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW Hardcore TV
March 26th, 2000
Salem, NH


The ending segment from TNN opens the show.

Match #1: The Impact Players [c] vs. Mike Awesome/Raven [ECW World Tag Team Championship]
Everyone on the floor, etc. Decent match, and Raven working situational babyface is always going to be something I love. They don't do half of what they're capable of and this is maybe like 6-7 minutes tops, so it's also a really really frustrating match. Francine misses with the powder now and blinds Raven. Lance hits him with a Superkick back into a schoolboy from Credible for the win.
**

Steve Corino and Jack Victory come out, and Corino is basically wearing early Dustin Rhodes type gear with plain black trunks and cowboy boots and a ridiculous jacket. Corino says he doesn't suck and he was a victim of a crime at Living Dangerously and says he beat Dusty Rhodes around the building because he's the new American Dream and it was to be the greatest night of Steve Corino's life, but a certain referee had to stick his nose in again. He then corners referee HC Loc and says he's waited since he was a kid to destroy Dusty Rhodes, and he got in the way of destiny. He says he's training to be a professional wrestler and because of his smart mouth, his cowball Stardust gave him 53 stitches. He says he's going to screw with him now and Loc says he's not afraid of him and says Dusty Rhodes kicked his ass, New Jack kicked his ass, and he's gonna kick his ass tonight! Corino says he wouldn't dirty his hands with HC Loc if he was the last jabroni in ECW, but he's got someone for him to fight, and brings out the debuting Chilly Willy. He dances and wears a hat and basically wants to be Thunderbolt Patterson.

Match #2: HC Loc vs. Chilly Willy w/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory
This is horrible. Basic stuff from Loc, but he's already better than Willy. Corino throws in the cow bell, but Loc cuts Willy off and hits him with it, before counting three on his own pin.
1/2*

The Dangerously Alliance is in the ring for horrible heel stuff and there's no match. HCTV is trying to hurt me.

Match #3: Kid Kash vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
This happens. I've decided that as long as I don't have to deal with his cringeworthy "Bawitaba" entrance, I can handle bland babyface Kid Kash. They do stuff and Sal interferes and Jazz comes to save, and Guido wins with the Maritato.
*3/4

Jazz hits the X-Factor on Guido post-match.

Match #4: Rhino vs. Balls Mahoney
Rhino has his people ringside. There are multiple visible ICP/Juggalo signs, because everyone is horrible. This is nothing and three minutes total. Rhino hits a table Gore for the win.
*1/2

PULP FICTION:
-Mike Awesome says everyone's mad at him all over the world. Because he put Tommy Dreamer out of ECW and because he ran Masato Tanaka out of Japan, but anyone in the ring with him is trying to take food off his plate and he's going to kick their ass
-The Impact Players repeat their TNN promo
-Cyrus is in the ECW locker room and garbage is everywhere and says this is what people want him to save. He asks what's worth saving in ECW besides the people in The Network, and this is all facade. This is garbage. THIS IS EXTREME!
-Paul and Joey talk and wonder what Cyrus is doing here and complain while the camera isn't supposed to be on. Paul realizes it's on, so Joey gets bleeped for like 10 seconds
-Sinister Minister says they only got six of the seven deadly sins this week, but nobody's perfect. He says gluttony is next, and while Francine is looking a little skinny, he's sure he can find something to shove down her throat. Mikey is laughing next to him.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW on TNN
March 31st, 2000
Kansas City, MO


In the ring, Cyrus interrupts the intro again because this is just how we start ECW every week now apparently. Joey and Gertner want to fight him because they have NO memory at all and forgot those threats last week, but Cyrus has Tajiri with him now. Cyrus says he's the man who brings them ROLLERJAM, and he's the AYATOLLAH OF ROCK AND BOWL-AH. FUCK YES. He says they have a situation with the TV Champion and he can't let the talent handle Network business so he's taking control. He says he's going to wrestle Super Crazy tonight because idiots like Tajiri aren't getting the job done. And Tajiri doesn't speak English still, but he looks mad. Cyrus says stuff in Japanese and says if he kicks him, he'll revoke that work visa and he'll be back in BJW. He says those two want him back there too, so Tajiri turns back to the announcers, and Cyrus says The Network will take the TV Title.

In the back, Danny Doring cuts a promo. He says they'll get back at the New Dangerous Alliance, and Elektra is nothing but a used Kleenex in the peep show box of life. Angel comes in looking for Dreamer, and Doring says they're trying to cut a promo. Shit starts, and Da Baldies beat down Doring and Roadkill. :( ECW went downhill FAST after the PPV.

Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
Awesome Tajiri performance. He kicks super super super hard and has some more inventive and brutal spots. Guido is about to jump off Sal's shoulders onto Tajiri on a table, but Tajiri stands up AND MISTS SAL! HE GRABS GUIDO AND PULLS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE EDGE OF THE TABLE. BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE TABLE, BUT IT DOESN'T BREAK HOLY SHIT. Guido stupidly gets more offense after that, and then Tajiri hits a Super Brainbuster. This could have been great, but Guido sucks.
**1/2

In the back, Mike Awesome says anybody that wants to take his belt is trying to take his money, and he'd bled across the world for this belt and nobody's going to take it away from him and it's the only belt in the world that matters today. See how he feels in a few weeks.

In the back, Sinister Minister does his whole deal again.

Coming back, Doring and Roadkill challenge Da Baldies to a Street Fight. Angel asks who their third is, and Tommy Dreamer comes out.

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer/Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Da Baldies [Kansas City Street Fight]
Nobody uses a grill or BBQ ribs here, so this is a lie. This is fun, since the faces are all good by this point, so there's enough going on to break up Da Baldies boring brawling spots. Grimes misses his Flip Senton onto a railing piece, and then gets hit with Tommy's DDT, Doring's Flying Legdrop, and Roadkill ends it with the Flying Splash.
**

Cyrus and Super Crazy come out for the main event, and Cyrus gets on the mic. He says this is TV, this is Network, DON'T BE A MARK. NOBODY STANDS BY STIPULATIONS! He says he's not going to soil his hands on Super Chico, AND BRINGS OUT RHINO AS HIS OPPONENT! NO!

Match #3: Super Crazy [c] vs. Rhino w/ The Network [ECW Television Championship]
THIS is what should have happened at the PPV. It still isn't great, but Rhino is treated like an unstoppable force and it's about Super Crazy overcoming him with speed and a little bit of luck. Rhino has brutal cut offs to Super Crazy's comebacks, including catching his Tornado DDT and ramming him through a corner table. He goes for something of the top through a slanted table, BUT SUPER CRAZY GETS THE SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB THROUGH IT TO SOMEHOW RETAIN!
**3/4

The Network attacks post-match but the Sandman comes out to save. He cleans house, BUT CORINO GETS IN THE OLD SCHOOL KICK! RHINO RAMS SANDMAN INTO CRAZY IN FRONT OF ANOTHER TABLE AND PUTS THEM BOTH THROUGH! They hold Sandman up for Rhino to cane and Rhino drinks one of Sandman's beers. Them getting a TON of heat for this, and like double Credible's current heat with like half of Justin Credible's 1998-2000 push is fantastic.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW Hardcore TV
April 2nd, 2000
Kansas City, MO

Match #1: The Impact Players [c] w/ Dawn Marie & Jason vs. Nova/Chris Chetti [ECW World Tag Team Championship]

Egh. Waste of the Impact Players. By extension, I just said that a match was a waste of Justin Credible. THINK ABOUT THAT. Nova whiffs on basically everything, and nobody really gives a shit about the "dramatic" nearfalls. Chetti misses a legdrop through a corner table, Dawn Marie gets thwarted by Jazz, and the Spike Piledriver beats Chetti.
*1/2

A RVD hype video airs.

Steve Corino and Jack Victory come out, and Corino gets on the mic. He says he knows Kansas City loves old school, so he's here to make a difference and stop all this hardcore crap. He says he was about to take out the ORIGINAL hardcore legend, Dusty Rhodes, and he had him. But then a pissant referee got in his way again! He knows it's 2000 and HC Loc is trying to get over and he's the head of his class at wrestling school or gives head to his class, he's not sure which one. He says he keeps sticking his nose in his business and he's going to wrap that bullrope around his head again and he'll show him how the future is, AND HE'S DAMN NEAR A GOD OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING. DAT FORESHADOWING. Loc challenges him right now!

Match #2: Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory vs. HC Loc
This is the first time Steve Corino in ECW has looked like the Steve Corino in 2002/3 when I first started watching him, chronologically speaking. Lots of awesome punches and generally just works like a great top level heel instead of an admittedly super entertaining jobber class heel manager in the ring. Maybe switching to trunks was just magic. He mocks the Bionic Elbow, so Dusty Rhodes returns and cleans house on Corino and Victory. He hits Corino with the Bionic Elbow and then the drop, and pulls Loc on top for the win.
*3/4

Match #3: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Kid Kash [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]

This is better than the PPV, since it's less of a squash. Kash gets mostly high flying stuff and Awesome never really looks in danger, but it's all some fun stuff. Kid Kash takes over for RVD WITH THE MASSIVE CROWD FLIP DIVE. Mike Awesome is no BBB though and gets caught clearly waiting for it. Kash takes some awesome bumps here. Awesome wins with an Awesome Bomb through a table.
**1/2

Rhino vs. Crazy from TNN ends the show.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW on TNN
April 7th, 2000
Richmond, VA


In the ring, Joey and Gertner bring out Raven and Francine for an interview. Joey asks about the bounty and Raven says due to the depravity he's used to, he can understand why he would think him responsible, but he has nothing to do with Tommy's hit. Francine asks who Joey's going to believe between her and Da Baldies. She says she's a baldie herself, but she can't show it, and says she knows for a fact Raven didn't put a hit on Tommy. She gets mad when Joey asks if she did it then and DA BALDIES come out. Why? Angel asks why he's trying to play himself and asks if he smells fear on him. Raven says that's just his mother, so they attack Raven. They beat him down.

In another promo, Sinister Minister goes over the situation. He says Raven has the ethics of a weasel and the loyalty of a drowning rat, and that's why he likes him. Raven always tells the truth, even when he lies, and someone around here is pulling an awful lot of string. Cue the laugh and pan out. Yep, he's over a ledge and a long way down, Mikey Whipwreck is sitting on the floor with strings attached to him, also laughing and flailing around. I miss when he was a wrestler.

Match #1: Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory vs. Kid Kash
This show promise of a super super good match later if they got more than 5-6 minutes. Kash's basic babyface high flying with a few special dives worked really well against Corino's more basic stuff. It gets ruined somewhat when there's a ref bump. Rhino comes out and kills Kid Kash with the GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE and Corino covers to win.
**1/2

In the back, Cyrus goes to Guido and Sal and tells Guido that his TV Title match next week is now going to be a three way dance involving Tajiri. Guido is mad, but Cyrus butters him up by saying that he'll beat Crazy and then Tajiri is taken care of, and he's got that Italian demographic for them like Bruno in '63. Cyrus leaves and Guido says he can take them. Sal says that guy seems shifty, but Guido says he can take them.

In the back, Cyrus tells Tajiri the news, and tells him that Little Guido is taken care of. He says they love him at The Network, and in fact, TNN stands for The Nippon Network! He signals for the belt around Tajiri's waist and says it's like they say at TNN, onward and upward.

Match #2: Super Crazy [c] vs. Mikey Whipwreck [ECW Television Championship]
Fun showcase for Super Crazy. Mikey had some decent little bits of offense, but Crazy was never in any kind of real danger, and he pulls off the win with the Springboard Moonsault and the shitting on the chest style pinfall.
**1/4

Little Guido comes out to attack Super Crazy post-match, but Tajiri runs out to save. He gets rid of Guido, but then mists Guido and hits a Basement Dropkick.

In the back, Tommy Dreamer cuts a promo. He says he can't believe that in the year 2000, there's a bounty placed on his head, and this is a joke. He pulls out a wad of bills and says he'll double what he's paying if anyone can do the job, and asks why Raven NOW has a problem facing him. He says he knows Raven like the back of his hand, and he HATES the back of his hand and slams it against the lockers. He says Raven is nothing without him, and he might hate him, but he needs him. He wants to blame his dad for his messed up life, but if he peels everything off, he's a 36 year old man who should realize the person he hates most is himself. He says without Tommy Dreamer, there is no Raven. Awesome promo.

It's supposed to be Da Baldies vs. Tommy Dreamer in a 3 on 1, but Tommy says he's sure there's SOMEONE in the crowd drunk and insane enough to team with him, and The Sandman does his entrance through the crowd to be his partner again.

Match #3: Tommy Dreamer/The Sandman vs. Da Baldies
This happens! I hate this mini-feud. Sandman's still healthy and insane enough to take bumps that Tommy won't, so that's nice. This is super short due to a commercial that Joey blames on TNN cutting out much of the hardcore content. The numbers game gets Da Baldies the edge, but Raven comes out to even it up, and he wins with the Evenflow on DeVito.
*3/4

It looks like Raven and Tommy are about to fight, but Mike Awesome and Judge Jeff Jones come out, and Awesome gets on the mic. He says they don't have any reason to fight and says Raven did NOT put a hit on Tommy Dreamer, and he knows he didn't do it. Judge Jeff Jones confirms AND SAYS HE TOOK THE HIT ON HIM. AND AWESOME ATTACKS THEM BOTH WITH A DOUBLE LARIAT. AWESOME BOMB THROUGH A TABLE ON RAVEN! AWESOME BOMB THROUGH A CORNER TABLE ON TOMMY! This rules, so OF COURSE Awesome is WCW bound within the next week.

PULP FICTION:
-In the back, Judge Jeff Jones says he doesn't hate Tommy, and says he did it for his own amusement because he was watching old territory tapes. Awesome corners Jones and yells that he wants his payoff, because he just took out Tommy Dreamer's ass. Jones hands him cash and Awesome asks about Raven. He says there was no bounty, but Awesome is basically just robbing his manager. Awesome says he wants the money, because he's Awesome. Fitting.
-In the back, Cyrus tells the Impact Players that they have the hottest manager on TV, and everything is up. Jason says he can only try, and flexes. <3
-Jazz wants to fight Dawn Marie and says she doesn't catfight
-Cyrus is with Rhino and says next week, Rob Van Dam returns to ECW and he's coming back in time to see Super Crazy lose this title. And he might find that this company's changed JUST a little bit with his hostile takeover, and this Network is redesigning this company. He'll take his orders from Cyrus, and his beatings from this man. Rhino says he broke his fucking leg and that's him. He says he's gonna kick the shit out of him and he's met his match.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

ECW Hardcore TV
April 9th, 2000
Richmond, VA


In the back, Danny Doring cuts ANOTHER promo about Elektra and says she was old enough to be his mom, and she made his Danaconda hurt, and her face is horrible, and she smells like horrible tuna. CHICKENS.

The New Dangerous Alliance is in the ring and they say if they lose to Danny Doring and Roadkill, then Elektra will strip naked. C'MON DANGEROUS ALLIANCE!

Match #1: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ Lou E. Dangerously & Elektra
CW rules, and Doring and Roadkill continue to get better and better. Roadkill takes a great bump off the top and through the timekeeper's table. Lou misses with the phone and takes out Bill Wiles, and Doring knocks him to the floor, but he then turns into the Anderson Spinebuster and CW wins.
*3/4

They air a good RVD/Spike Dudley match from Richmond. But Joey openly says it's in 1999, so it's useless for this. Obviously, RVD wins.

Match #2: Justin Credible w/ Jason vs. Chris Chetti
OH, FUCK YOU. This is basically a squash, just to remind us how fucking average Credible is some 13 days before he wins the title. They then make this hilarious by trying to show that Chetti is on Credible's level with interference from Jason AND Lance Storm, and it's just...stop. Just stop. It's been three years...and as I type that, Chetti goes over with a Death Valley Bomb, IN SPITE of the interference. Fuck this company.
*1/2

Nova makes the save post-match. Why are they the team that gets the push against the champions? Nova challenges Lance Storm. FUCK THIS. GOD DAMNIT.

Match #3: Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie vs. Nova
This was the same idea, but MUCH better because Lance is worlds better than Justin Credible and while him being a great technician is mostly a lie, he's got a lot of really good offense. This is pretty short too, and there's a ref bump. Dawn Marie comes in and Jazz takes out Dawn and Jason after the other heels come back out. Credible canes her, but Lance then misses a Superkick and hits him. Nova hits a shitty Downward Spiral for the win. I hate ECW.
*3/4

They beat them down post-match and Lance says that's how to make an impact. Boo. No seriously, can we talk about how The Impact Players have been nigh unbeatable for a year plus, and FUCKING NOVA AND CHRIS CHETTI get the cleanest win on them in forever? What the fuck is happening?

A recap of the Awesome/Tommy/Raven angle ends the show.

And hey, Mike Awesome shows up the following Monday, April 10th, on Nitro! Everybody loses!
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Mike Awesome, Since 12/23/1999 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000

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ECW Fancam
April 13th, 2000
Indianapolis, IN

Match #1: Chilly Willy vs. Johnny Swinger

God DAMNIT. My long lasting embarrassment is soon upon us. These two both fuck a lot of things up, but Johnny is proven to be the better one as he can at least do some basic things right and isn't a wholly incompetent dancing asshole. There's a botch with a ring bell ringing after a two count from Johnny, and he argues it with Molineaux, and Willy gets a shitty looking schoolboy for the win. At least this was short.
1/2*

Angel and DeVito come out, and Angel gets the mic. He says there's a lot of pussies today. He says they've been kicking ass nationwide and calls out anybody to come get some of Da Baldies. Danny Doring and Roadkill come out to accept. Doring says he called all the people pussies, so he's a pussy too, because you are what you eat. Which means he's looking at a Big Dick and Tiny Balls.

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Angel/Tony DeVito
This gets a singular point, but was still nothing worth going into detail on. Angel and Tony get put in a normal match and it shows how shitty they are at being actual pro wrestlers. Doring and Roadkill beat DeVito with the Wheelbarrow Flying Legdrop deal.
*1/4

Simon Diamond comes out with a huge entourage that I don't know with a back girl. He makes a guy dressed as a buccaneer stand in the corner for speaking out of turn. He yells at the black girl for stealing his spotlight with short shorts and Simon has a problem. He says he's the man for guidance and discipline and asks who's next. Mikey Whipwreck comes out, but it's for a match.

Match #3: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Simon Diamond w/ Entourage
This sucked. Diamond is super fucking boring now that the Dick puns are over, and his entourage is boring and useless. Sinister Minister comes out for the sole highlight of having a cane vs. swordfight with the pirate that he somehow wins. MIKEY GETS A LOW BLOW WITH THE SWORD. YES. Everyone gets Whippersnappers and Mikey wins.
*1/4

Match #4: Kid Kash vs. Rhino w/ Jack Victory

Super fun under five minute match. Kid Kash flies all over the place, and Rhino catches and kills him. He hits the Gore and then the Piledriver gives Rhino another win.
**14

Match #5: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance

This goes on FOREVER without anything of interest happening. Elektra gets involved and Jazz comes out to do the same. Nova and Chetti win with something.
3/4*

Post-match, New Jack comes out to kill the heels. He's alive!

Match #6: Super Crazy vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano
You know the drill by now. Guido doesn't belong, but generally doesn't get in the way of a Super Crazy showcase now that Crazy and Tajiri are beginning to leave Guido in the dust as they move up the card. This is only like 5-6 minutes, which is weird and means this wasn't very impressive. Crazy wins with a Brainbuster to poke Tajiri with a stick some more.
**

Before the next match, Raven gets on the mic and says he's thought about having sex with Dawn Marie, but it'd be like throwing a wrench into a garage.

Match #7: Raven vs. Lance Storm
The women are there on the floor like always. They tease a catfight after a few minutes, but Lance breaks it up and the match continues. Really weird placement doing that after the bell, as it'd be perfect before the match actually starts. This is absolutely house show Raven, but it was decent enough when everybody's taking it super easy here. Lance's work is good, but this is again over way before anything of note can happen. Raven gets Dawn Marie with the snot rag to break up a catfight, but then Lance hits the Superkick to win.
**

Steve Corino and Jack Victory come out, and Corino gets on the mic and says they're the ones who suck. He says he punked out Limp Bizkit, crippled Tommy Dreamer, and he retired Dusty Rhodes, and everyone knows that he's the reason Taz left ECW. Corino says he'd like to continue his tradition of being an old school hero by giving them a Texas Bullrope Match, but doesn't see anyone man enough in the back. Tommy Dreamer comes out and attacks him, but Tajiri saves, and that match happens.

Match #8: Tommy Dreamer vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri w/ Steve Corino & Jack Victory
This is MOTN, I guess. Tajiri forces Tommy to work somewhat up a level and not take the night off like everyone else and does some big chair and table spots, like the open chair kick into the face and the table Double Stomp. Corino and Victory get involved, and The Sandman comes to save, and this sort of just stops being a thing.
**1/4

Sandman canes everyone and is wearing a Bruce Lee shirt, but Tajiri mists him. Rhino comes out and hits a shitty Gore because Sandman isn't in the corner and is too close, so he just kind of stumbles back and falls through the ropes. Corino canes him on the floor, and Super Crazy runs out to save. Little Guido comes in to attack him too! God bless ECW for building to a TV match on house shows, that's a great idea. Most of the roster comes out to fight, AND RHINO HITS SANDMAN WITH A PILEDRIVER THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR! Everyone brawls to the back.

THROUGH THE BACK, MIKE AWESOME COMES FROM THE CROWD! FUCKING DOUG DILLINGER IS WITH HIM. Mike Awesome and Judge Jeff Jones get in the ring. Jeff says there's nobody in the wrestling business that can beat Mike Awesome. TAZ'S WWF MUSIC HITS AND IT'S TAZ! Can't even uncork "War Machine" or the knockoff for this? He gives Awesome the finger and steps in for a match!

Match #9: Mike Awesome [c] w/ Judge Jeff Jones vs. Tazz [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
He comes out to his slave music, so he gets his slave name. This is all of a minute. There's a ref bump, AND TOMMY RUNS OUT TO DDT AWESOME SINCE HE CAN'T DROP IT CLEAN! TAZZ GETS THE TAZZMISSION TO WIN!
FUCK YEAH

Taz goes to leave, but he comes back in, and he gets on the mic. He says he did business the proper way and he just taught Mike Awesome how to do business because that big goofy stupid motherfucker just got beat. HIS NAME IS TAZ AND HE IS THE ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. BEAT HIM IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU. FUCK. YEAH. That was all amazing.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Super Crazy, Since 3/12/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ECW on TNN
April 14th, 2000
Buffalo, NY


BREAKING NEWS: Paul Heyman runs down the Awesome/Tazz switch. The footage is promised later tonight.

The ending of Rhino vs. Kid Kash is aired. Rhino wins with a Gore and Piledriver.

In the back, Jazz is looking for Dawn Marie in the locker room. She finds Sinister Minister sitting on the bench and Mikey on the floor playing with matches. She yells to cut that out and asks if they know where Dawn Marie is. Minister says that'll cost her and says maybe they could have some beers and maybe some sex. She says he needs to go back to church and storms off, and he tells Mikey that maybe she doesn't like beer. Mikey then lights a fire on the floor and yells that he won.

Match #1: The Impact Players [c] w/ Dawn Marie vs. Nova/Chris Chetti [ECW World Tag Team Championship]
Joey says Chetti and Nova took Jason out earlier in the week. Lance Storm does the best he can, but he's only one man. This is laid out decently that it's the "best" of these matches, but still isn't great by any means or even good. There's a lot of nearfalls, and Jazz comes out to get Dawn. Lance hits her with a Piledriver and Chetti tries to do the same to Lance, but Credible hits him with the title belt and Lance covers to win.
**

The Awesome/Taz switch airs.

Match #2: Super Crazy [c] vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [ECW Television Championship - Three Way Dance]
These three top themselves again, and this is a marvel of match layout. They have great three way spots early on leading to a Crazy dive, AND THEN TAJIRI FLIPS THE SWITCH LIKE HE DID IN JANUARY AND BECOMES THE MOST VIOLENT MOTHERFUCKER IN ECW HISTORY. INSANE KICKS. TAJIRI DROPKICKS A SET UP TABLE EDGE INTO GUIDO'S FOREHEAD TO BUST HIM OPEN! He buries Guido under chairs and puts Crazy on a table over him. TAJIRI DOUBLE STOMPS CRAZY DOWN ONTO GUIDO, AND COVERS GUIDO TO ELIMINATE HIM! CHAIR KICK TO CRAZY! TAJIRI ACCIDENTALLY MISTS THE REF! Steve Corino and Victory come out, and Super Crazy comes back. SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT, BUT RHINO RUNS OUT! CRAZY AVOIDS ONE GORE, BUT TURNS INTO ANOTHER! RHINO HITS A FUCKING PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON THROUGH THE TABLE GOD DAMN. He rolls him in and Tajiri covers to win the title!
****

Cyrus comes out to celebrate and promises that Tajiri will hand the title to The Network at Cyberslam. Cyrus yells that he's bigger than God, and he's Network, AND HE'S DRUNK ON POWER. THE SANDMAN COMES OUT! He canes everyone, and it takes five cane shots to put Rhino down finally. CYRUS GETS IN AND SANDMAN ALMOST CANES HIM. BUT CORINO SAVES. RED MIST FROM TAJIRI! OLD SCHOOL KICK FROM CORINO! RHINO PICKS UP REFEREE HC LOC AND RAMS HIM INTO SANDMAN AND PUTS THEM BOTH THROUGH A TABLE! YEAH! I FUCKING LOVE THE NETWORK. BUT "WALK" HITS AND ROB VAN DAM RETURNS WITH SCOTTY ANTON AND FONZIE! They get on the apron and Cyrus says if he steps in here tonight, he won't cancel ECW. Rhino grabs the mic before he can continue and challenges him, but RVD gets in. He cleans house on The Network, but the show cuts out before RVD and Rhino can touch.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Yoshihiro Tajiri, Since 4/4/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ECW Hardcore TV
April 16th, 2000
Buffalo, NY

Match #1: Steve Corino/Jack Victory vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

I have no idea where Biggie got three stars for this. I wish I could, but the match I saw was a JIP match with only three to four minutes on it, and just wasn't substantial enough for that. Ruled though. Corino and Victory have a great control seg, and Roadkill cleans house before taking his table bump. Corino misses the cowbell and hits Victory. Doring hits Corino with the Bareback, and the Amish Splash pins Victory.
**1/4

TONIGHT: DREAMER/? VS. DA BALDIES IN A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH!

The TV Title switch and post-match airs.

Da Baldies come out, AND TOMMY'S PARTNER IS NEW JACK. YEAH! He doesn't come out for a few minutes, and when he does, Grimes basically just runs away and it becomes a normal 2v2.

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer/New Jack vs. Angel/Tony DeVito [Falls Count Anywhere]
This is fun. They use the stipulation to fight outside in a snowstorm and New Jack looks all energetic with his weapon use and spots. Tommy and Devito then have a kick ass lobby brawl where Tommy falls off a staircase through a table and DeVito really gets to show future potential. Back in the arena, Tommy puts DeVito through a table with the DVD, and New JAck beats Angel FINALLY with the 187. FEUD BE OVER NOW PLS.
**1/2

Tazz vs. Awesome ends the show.

And then the updated ECW Title video.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Yoshihiro Tajiri, Since 4/4/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

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ECW Wrestlepalooza 2000
April 16th, 2000
St. Charles, MO


Simon Diamond and his posse opens the show, and Diamond has a problem. He blames HC Loc for a lot of bad calls lately, and his officiating leaves a lot to be desired and it's downright poor. He points out HC Loc's shitty gold chain and tattoos and goatee and asks what kind of a referee or a man he is. He says he needs discipline and guidance and makes his posse attack the referee. He makes them take his shirt off and makes the Musketeer put the referee shirt on for his match.

Match #1: Simon Diamond w/ Entourage vs. HC Loc
The new ref insists on being a new referee, and this is mostly a squash for Diamond. Loc gets a decent run of rookie offense against the whole crew, and hits a Double Crossbody on Simon and the ref, and counts his own three and calls for the bell.
*

Match #2: Chilly Willy vs. Johnny Swinger w/ Judge Jeff Jones

MASSIVE step down for Jones, but whatever. This is pretty shitty once again, but slightly less shitty than their 4/13 match. Chilly Willy is still barely trained and Johnny is super super average. Chilly Willy is now magically from St. Charles, which is weird because he was from Indianapolis three days prior. Molineaux kicks Johnny and JJJ's arms apart when he tries to block a Sunset Flip, and Willy gets the pin.
*

Match #3: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance

Same deal as 4/13. It's basically the same opening matches, which is whatever. CW does his best and Nova looks like he's trying here, so that means I have to give this points, so fuck everything. Same basic deal as last time with the Jazz/Elektra fight, and the babyface win. The match is just better here since this is a much bigger house and on a TV taping.
*1/4

Match #4: Super Crazy vs. Kid Kash

Hey, fun! This is an obvious Crazy showcase for five minutes, but they make it fun. Kid Kash has a few nice spots but it's mostly just Super Crazy doing his stuff, which is always a good time. Super Crazy again wins a match with a Brainbuster, which I can only assume means that Tajiri is about to murder him again.
**1/4

Match #5: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Little Guido/Sal E. Graziano

Decent showcase for Doring and Roadkill. Guido is whatever, and Sal is Sal, so this isn't going to be amazing or anything. Sal gets beat off the Amish Splash.
*3/4

Da Baldies attack Doring and Roadkill after the match and celebrate to the back.

Mikey Whipwreck comes out and starts laying out tarot cards at the timekeeper's table.

Joey Styles and Joel Gertner come out to do the TNN intro, and I suppose this is were the real show begins. Joey points out the Rockin Bowl people in the front row and says nobody cares because it's bowling. Mikey then lights the tarot cards on fire after the show is on the air, and Joey and Joel do their intro. They bring The Impact Players out for an interview and immediately yells at them about Dawn Marie's interference and she tells Joey to watch his mouth. She says she's the most dominant woman in ECW, so Raven and Francine come out. A match breaks out and Mikey gets on the apron to be his partner!

Match #6: The Impact Players [c] w/ Dawn Marie vs. Raven/Mikey Whipwreck [ECW World Tag Team Championship]
This is fun. They keep it quick paced so Justin doesn't run out of stuff to do because he's still somehow getting a push despite virtually no change in reaction or overness level over the last two years. Raven and Mikey have some cool spots, and Lance largely stays out of this. Some nice nearfalls, and Justin AGAIN beats Mikey with That's Incredible. He at least bothered to do the jump and twist here.
**1/2

CW Anderson vs. Angel is supposed to happen, but Cyrus comes out and says he has a little Network business here. He says they have something more important to the talent, and that's Network business and gives them the night off. Angel gives him a black person handshake and leaves. CW Anderson says he wants his shot tonight and Cyrus says this is his shot, being in a camera shot with the leader of The Network, and nobody even came here to see him. He tells Elektra to hit the streets if she needs money but Lou E. Dangerously holds them back and makes them leave. Cyrus says there's been some legal drama this week so he's gone over all the ECW contracts and there's one man who is NOT under contract who's been on the network, and that's RVD's manservant Scotty Anton. He asks what RVD has ever done for any of his friends, but he's selfish and a user. Scotty Anton comes out and Cyrus says he's defying the Network and he'll kick his ass right here. Scotty gets in and Cyrus asks how long he's been carrying RVD and his bags and says he's going to bend over for The Network just like he does to kiss RVD's ass. Rhino hits the ring and they fight.

Match #7: Rhino w/ The Network vs. Scotty Anton
Different name or push or whatever, this is still Scotty Riggs. Rhino puts the ref and Scotty through the table after a few minutes and the bell sounds.
*1/4

Rob Van Dam comes out to save and RVD and Rhino fight. They get pulled apart by the locker room and The Network leaves. The ring clears of babyfaces and RVD gets on the mic. He says even though he's not 100% physically yet enough to deliver his usual five star classics, and he wants to give a shout out to all the fans who bought a ticket to see their favorite wrestler, Rob Van Dam. He says he'll probably come back, and then he can show them why he's the Whole Fucking Show.

Match #8: Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory [Extreme Bullrope Match]
This is fun for 3-4 minutes, but is ultimately a total set up that's barely a match. Corino bleeds and that's about all the noteworthy stuff that happened before Jack Victory came in to interfere. He beats on Tommy, but the Sandman comes out dragging a ladder with him. They have a fun pseudo tag deal here, and Tajiri runs out to help The Network. Tajiri gets the cane and abuses Sandman with it and the Network generally gives out an awesome beating. New Jack comes out and it's a six man!

Match #8a: Tommy Dreamer/The Sandman/New Jack vs. Steve Corino/Yoshihiro Tajiri/Jack Victory
This is wonderfully insane. Tons of blood, ladder use, hard chair shots. That general chaotic feel that the best ECW stuff gets to accomplish. The only way this could have been better for what it was and the 5-6 minutes or so it got was if there was more of a focus on Tajiri's violence instead of the babyfaces going wild on Victory and Corino mostly. Tajiri accidentally mists Corino, and New Jack comes off the top with a chair shot onto him for the win.
**1/2

Rhino comes out post-match, and The Network again beats up the faces. Dusty Rhodes comes out to save with elbows. Rhino doesn't go down, but Sandman canes him and he rolls out. The Network leaves, and Dusty celebrates with the babyfaces to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Yoshihiro Tajiri, Since 4/4/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ECW on TNN
April 21st, 2000
St. Charles, MO


In the back, The Sinister Minister says the 9th circle of Hell is reserved for the lowest of the low. The betrayers. The treacherous. So that's where one would go if they wanted to find the former ECW Champion. Mikey says he's a former champion and Minister says to shut up and go start a fire. He goes over the big title switch and says he loves them all. Especially their souls.

The Impact Players interview and title defense comes first.

Then Rhino/Anton.

Then Tommy/Corino followed by the six man!
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Yoshihiro Tajiri, Since 4/4/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ECW Hardcore TV
April 23rd, 2000
St. Charles, MO


The Rhino/Anton match and RVD's post-match stuff opens the show.

Fake FBI vs. Doring & Roadkill is next.

Crazy/Kash!

Nova & Chetti vs. NDA!

PULP FICTION TO MAKE THIS WEEK WORTHWHILE:
-Raven says Cyberslam is an annual event where all of ECW's finest attempts to steal the show and he knows when Cyberslam is over, he won't have to ask what about Raven, because everyone will be talking about him. Francine smiles and says everyone will be talking about him alright. Oh no.
-New Jack says Cyberslam is the biggest thing going on in wrestling and everyone wants to be a part of it. People are going for titles and want to be champions, but he's not after no belt. He doesn't give a damn about no belt, and he's coming for Angel and Da Baldies. Their ass belongs to him. They thought he was done and gone, but call him Super[BLEEP] because he's back and he's gonna get Angel worse than he's ever been got before.
-CW Anderson and Bill Wiles argue about whos stealing the show at Cyberslam
-Cyrus is with Rhino and says The Network will have the TV Title handed to them by Tajiri, and Tajiri is a good boy and he likes guys that The Network giveth and taketh away. He tells Tajiri to be a good boy and he'll have the future in front of him after he hands the title over to Rhino.
-The Impact Players say people will talk about Cyberslam for a while, and what matters is who makes the impact. Justin Credible says they're gonna make an impact and yells GOT IMPACT. I hate you. I hate you so much. God damnit, it's time.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Tazz, Since 4/13/2000
ECW Television Champion: Yoshihiro Tajiri, Since 4/4/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: The Impact Players, Since 3/12/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPIONS

ECW on TNN
April 28th, 2000
Philadelphia, PA


The show opens with Taz making his entrance to fight Tommy Dreamer in the main event, and it cuts out to keep the HYPE~ alive.

After the intro video, The Network is in the ring and Tajiri holds up the TV Title. Cyrus says to give it up for the team player, Yoshihiro Tajiri. He says he knows his Oriental friend doesn't speak English, so he'll dumb this down. YOU BE CHAMPION. WORLD TV TITLE. ICHIBAN. TREMENDOUS. He says he's had a great couple of weeks, probably the best of his life. ICHIBAN. But the time has some to hold up his part of all this and hand the TV Title over to Rhino. YOU GIVE BELT-O TO RHINO. Tajiri holds the title close and backs into the corner, so Cyrus yells not to embarrass him on his network, AND CALLS HIM A SLANTY EYED LITTLE BASTARD. HE'LL PULL HIS WORK VISA AND HE'LL BE ON A BICYCLE DELIVERING CHOP SUEY. He asks what his fucking problem is AND HE IS NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF MEAT THE NETWORK PUT ON TV TO POP A RATING. HAND THE BELT TO RHINO NOW.

AND TAJIRI RESPONDS, FINALLY SPEAKING ENGLISH, AND YELLS "FUCK YOU!" TAJIRI IS GOD. TAJIRI CHALLENGES RHINO, AND IT'S ON!

Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri [c] vs. Rhino w/ The Network [ECW Television Championship]
FUCK THIS RULED TOO. This was only like 4 minutes, but Tajiri was super frantic and desperate and it was just a really great piece of pro wrestling TV. He misted Corino and hit Corino and Victory with head kicks, BUT TURNS INTO THE GORE. FUCK. PILEDRIVER, BUT TAJIRI KICKS OUT! TAJIRI'S THE FIRST ONE EVER MAYBE. But another Piledriver wins Rhino the belt. :(
**1/4

Cyrus gets on the mic and says NOBODY STANDS UP TO THE NETWORK! He dares anybody in the entire business to stand up to The Network AND ROB VAN DAM COMES OUT! YEAH! Scotty Anton also comes out to help and it comes down to RVD vs. Rhino in the ring again. RVD runs Rhino off with kicks, AND RVD JUMPS OFF THE TOP WITH A FLIP ONTO THE NETWORK ON THE FLOOR! FUCK YEAH ECW 2000! Cyrus gets on the apron while the faces celebrate and says this is a different ECW and The Network controls the TV Title. Cyrus announces Rhino/Sandman for the TV Title at Hardcore Heaven, and says he's got someone for Rob and he would never leave him off a PPV. CYRUS THEN BRINGS BACK JERRY LYNN TO BE RVD'S OPPONENT. Aw man. Apparently he broke his ankle, and he comes into the ring. Cyrus welcomes him back to the network, and Lynn says to get the fuck out and calls him a stooge and shoves him down. Stop trying to get over. Lynn then gets the mic and says they both got injured, but all he heard about was RVD and mocks his catchphrases. Lynn says he's going to kick his fucking ass at Hardcore Heaven. Lynn's not entirely in the wrong, his injury never even got mentioned on ECW TV. Lynn says he's not just the New Fucking Show, he's going to finally become the Whole Fucking Show. LYNN REFUSES A HANDSHAKE AND HITS ANTON.

In a pretape out back, Sinister Minister is with Mikey. He says WCW would love their services again, but even he won't sink that low. Mikey pulls a coffin over and Minister gets in. He says he wouldn't be caught dead in that third rate promotion and Mikey closes the lid.

During the break, Rhino gores Sandman and his wife through a table.

In the back, there's ANOTHER Minister/Mikey segment. He says ECW is hotter than hell and lights a table on fire. Mikey jumps through it and rolls away. Minister says he has one hell of a knack for spoiling a moment. Everybody laughs.

Clips air of Corino/Dusty II. It looks WAY better than the PPV match and looks like a legit great match. Victory hit Dusty with the cowbell from behind and Corino put the cow bell under his elbow and wrapped the rope up and hit an elbow drop for the win on Dusty.

Clips air from Nova/Jazz vs. Lance/Dawn. Credible hits Nova with a Superkick to save Lance from the Kryptonite Krunch, but Lance gets dropped down and isn't moving. Credible then canes Jazz instead and Dawn covers to win. Lance gets helped post-match, and they sell a serious neck injury.

We join the main event AFTER Tommy Dreamer has beaten Tazz to finally win the title. No idea why they couldn't have shown the match. I'd say it's a contractual thing, but they got clearance to use Tazz/Awesome on the 4/14 episode, and that has a WCW guy too. Anyways, Taz hits his catchphrase after handing Tommy the title, and he leaves. Tommy gets on the mic and says he's waited his whole life for this and he might never make it to WrestleMania and he never wants to make it to Starrcade, but he made it in the ECW Arena! From the bottom of his heart, to everyone who's here, he thanks them and starts crying. Most of the locker room comes out to celebrate and they congratulate him. Raven walks down to the ring with Francine AND RAVEN SHAKES HIS HAND! FUCK YEAH FRIENDSHIP! THEY HUG! Raven raises Tommy's hand, and Justin Credible comes out to cane them both. Ugh.

UGH.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

He hits Raven with the Tombstone and gets on the mic. He says all he's been hearing about is Mike Awesome throwing ECW in the trash on Nitro or Tazz defending the title on Monday Night Raw (nope), and everyone wants to make an impact, but he's THE Impact Player. He says these titles aren't enough anymore and they're nothing, and each tag team that held these before can kiss HIS ass, and he throws them down. Real original. He spits on the belts and berates Tommy to give him his match, and Tommy punches him and says to ring the bell. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer [c] vs. Justin Credible w/ Jason [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Tommy's eye is split open from a cane shot. This is more of an angle than anything so the match isn't amazing. Tommy does what he can and throws in a cool spot or two. He hits the DVD off the apron through a table bridge. Or tries to, as Credible refuses to bump like a normal ass pro wrestler and takes a weird one on his side. Back inside, Tommy survives one Tombstone. He yells for Plan B and after some convoluted stuff with Francine being in the ring, she low blows Tommy. Credible then hits another Tombstone and ruins the ECW Title a large amount by winning it. Fuck this company.
**

Francine takes off her Raven attire to reveal the usual slutty stuff. Credible hits his catchphrase. He finally gets boos with this. This could have gone down as a G.O.A.T. angle if Justin Credible didn't have the most overdone and undeserved push of all time. Fuck him, and fuck ECW.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
April 30th, 2000
Philadelphia, PA

Match #1: Masato Tanaka vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Scorpio briefly forces Tanaka to do actual wrestling on the mat, but because it's ECW and Masato Tanaka, that's not going to work, and it becomes a wonderful bombfest. It's more of a Tanaka showcase at the end, which is a little bit of a bummer, but still great because this can't not be. Scorp survives the Rolling Elbow, but then Tanaka gets the win with the Diamond Dust.
***

The footage of the Network/Dusty and Network/Sandman incidents airs again.

Match #2: Super Crazy vs. Kid Kash vs. Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano [Three Way Dance]
Fun spotfest. They have some well choreographed sequences when it's the three of them and I have yet to see what's so horrible about ECW Kid Kash besides the whole Kid Rock getup. Super Crazy kills him with a fairly nasty stalling Brainbuster to eliminate him. Crazy/Guido is good, AND GUIDO JUMPS OFF THE SHOULDERS OF SAL IN THE RING TO PUT CRAZY THROUGH A TABLE ON THE FLOOR! YEAH COOL STUFF FROM GUIDO FINALLY! Guido wins clean with the Maritato because ECW is weird now.
**3/4

The TV Title switch and post-match airs.

Dreamer/Credible ends the show. :(
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
May 5th, 2000
Poughkeepsie, NY


In the ring, Joey and Gertner do their introduction and then bring out Justin Credible and Francine. She takes the mic and says the only shocking thing is that Joey and all these stupid marks out here would think she'd leave herself out of the World Heavyweight Title picture, and her record stands for itself. She managed Shane Douglas to a World Title, managed Chris Candido and that LOSER Lance Storm to a Tag Team Title, and even managed a has-been Raven and nobody Tommy Dreamer to a Tag Title. She then dubs Credible the most controversial man in wrestling and says she now manages him. He holds up the title while chewing gum and you can clearly see that he thinks he's the coolest man in the world, but looks like the biggest fucking dweeb in his TUCKED IN "Got Blood?" t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and his jorts. Joey is upset about what he did to the Tag Titles and Credible says what he did to the tag titles was just incredible, because he only knows the one phrase. Lance Storm comes out with Dawn Marie. DAT FACE POP. He says he trained him, he taught him, and he CARRIED him. He threw down HIS belt too and spit on him and this business. And the way he sees it, he owes him a title, so he's either going to take his or he'll hand it over. Credible says he can take this belt or take his ass back to CALGARY.......ALBERTA, CANDA. LANCE SLAPS THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND THEY FIGHT. They get pulled apart and so do the women. Awesome stuff. If ECW had money, Lance would be an amazing next champion. BUT IT'S NOT OVER AND RAVEN COMES OUT TO ATTACK CREDIBLE. BUT LANCE SUPERKICKS RAVEN. Jazz comes and lays out Dawn and then turns into a Superkick. Kid Kash comes out to start his match with Lance. Tommy Dreamer is out to fight Credible through the crowd.

Match #1: Lance Storm vs. Kid Kash
Another fun 5 minute Kid Kash match. He gets a sweet dive and some high flying offense before nanigans occur. Dawn Marie comes in to pull him off when he tries the Moneymaker, but Jazz then runs out and chases Dawn Marie to the back. Lance hits Kash with a Superkick, and then hits a Piledriver for the win.
**1/4

In a hotel room, The New Dangerous Alliance goes to Mikey and Minister. Lou makes Elektra in a bikini sit on Minister's lap and he says he's a guy who pulls the strings around here. Mitchell says if they give them enough time, something will come. Mikey has a drink on fire and she says that's not hot, and takes her top off. Gross.

Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. Scotty Anton w/ Bill Alfonso
This is what I've always wanted, Mr. JL vs. Scotty Riggs. It's super pedestrian for Lynn trying to do his match with someone who lacks the skill or style to do that, but Lynn does not give a shit. Rhino comes out to Gore Scotty through a table, and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver after that to win.
*1/2

Cyrus comes out with Corino and Victory to announce Jerry Lynn as the winner and says he's a friend of The Network. Lynn does a shitty flip dive on Corino anyways before leaving, and Rhino beats on Anton. He holds up the TV Title, and RVD comes out to save. RVD drives Rhino out but Corino and Victory attack. BUT TAJIRI COMES OUT AND MISTS VICTORY. KICKS FOR CORINO. Jerry Lynn comes back out to fight Scotty on the floor and RVD dives onto Lynn, but also takes Scotty down. They fight away and Corino and Rhino are in there with Tajiri. Corino says it seems the odds are in their favor now and says he's a forgiving man and so is The Network, and they'll forgive him if he admits he was wrong. If they have to, they'll get on his slanty eyed ass. WITHOUT THEM, HE HAS NOBODY. BUT TAJIRI PULLS A BEER OUT OF HIS PANTS AND OPENS IT. THE SANDMAN COMES OUT, AND I NOW HAVE A NEW FAVORITE PROBABLY ONE-TIME TAG TEAM.

Match #3: The Sandman/Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Steve Corino/Rhino w/ Jack Victory
This was super enjoyable, if not long enough or substantial enough to be great. Corino's serious push continues as he does some great stuff against Sandman for the bulk of this. Tajiri is mostly a sideline player until the end, unfortunately. It breaks down at the end when Lori gets involved AND RHINO FINALLY MISSES THE TABLE GORE AND GOES THROUGH THE TABLE! YEAH! They get Corino alone, and Tajiri puts him through another table with a Double Stomp for the win.
**3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
May 7th, 2000
Poughkeepsie, NY


To open the show, Simon Diamond issues an open challenge. Tommy Dreamer takes him up on it.

Match #1: Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond w/ Entourage
This is absolutely a pro wrestling match. Diamond does basic stuff and it's not the worst, but hardly good either. As usual, the swordfight spot is the best part. Dreamer takes out the entourage, and HC Loc gets into it with Diamond. Tommy wins with a DDT.
*1/2

In the back, Sinister Minister tells Mikey to go bring him the World Title or Justin Credible's soul. He asks about Francine and SM says the part of her he wants is already pretty worn out, and he hears Justin Credible fits in like a tricycle in a two car garage. Laughter.

In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo to tell us that he's the champion. Catchphrase. I hate you forever.

Events from TNN air.

Before the main event, Credible gets in a long swearing match with the fans and it's all bleeped. He tries to leave, but Mikey goes after him.

Match #2: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. Mikey Whipwreck [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
WHERE IS JASON? This isn't great, but it's Credible vs. 2000 Mikey, so you knew that. They do some decent chair stuff, and Mikey takes some really brutal bumps off big spots. After the year or so period once Taz got going as champion and Awesome's run, it's nice of Credible to remind us of the longstanding tradition of the total mediocrity of the ECW World Heavyweight Title, Raven/Sandman stuff aside. Justin wins with That's Incredible.
**1/4

PULP FICTION:
-Jerry Lynn since he came to ECW, all he wanted was to win a title. He says Justin Credible pissed on everyone by throwing down tag titles, and now he wants the World Heavyweight Title, but he has to go through RVD first, and he's gonna kick his ass. He says he's the New F'n Show, and tries to do a death metal growl on "Show", and it's hilariously bad. He thinks it's the coolest fucking thing though, you can tell.
-Rob Van Dam says Scotty better get used to fans wanting to see him now that he's with RVD and asks if he wants to put him on his shoulders or something again.
-Justin Credible says Lance taught him everything he knows, so he knows what he's coming at him with
-Fonzie asks Scotty who his favorite wrestler is. He looks annoyed, and RVD says he doesn't get no more airtime.
-Lou E. Dangerously is mad at Justin Credible for ruining their future Tag Title win and title shot
-Nova talks about great tag champions and is mad about Credible and is still the worst. Chetti says he doesn't lose often, so that's also hilarious. Nova says Credible spit on them and they were going to win those titles. Chetti says they're going to rebuild the division. LOL.
-Danny Doring says everyone knew they were destined for the titles, but the opportunity was denied them in favor of teams that weren't on their level. He says they would have beat the Impact Players if they got a legit title shot, and they're going to work harder and restore that legacy. HE'S the coolest, THEY'RE the best, and that guy is just a CHICKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN.
-RVD says he's got the man in his corner to watch his back, and points at Scotty Anton, but says it's Fonzie, and Scotty again looks annoyed. This is so obvious.
-In the back, Joey announces the main event for Hardcore Heaven as Justin Credible vs. Lance Storm for the ECW Title.
-Cyrus says they're coming to Milwaukee for another drunk named The Sandman and he's going after the one title he's never held and he'd know he'd love to get his hands on him. He may be coming for this title, but at the pay per view, this man is coming for him. Rhino says he's gonna shove a beer can so far up Sandman's ass that he'll have to cane his fucking head off just to get it out. And he will leave the ECW TV Champion and he will remember the name Rhino.
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