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Simon Watches ECW - 2000-1
Topic Started: Jan 14 2014, 08:35 PM (7,834 Views)
Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
May 12th, 2000
Minneapolis, MN


In the back, the camera man cuts off Sinister Minister's promo time, so he has Mikey throw a fireball.

In the ring, Joey and Gertner bring out Tommy Dreamer for an interview. They ask about him never getting to wear the title, but Simon Diamond interrupts, and hey, it's a repeat of last week's Hardcore TV blatant showcase match. Why did this make TNN? Are they pushing my horrible namesake now? Diamond says the young hungry Tommy Dreamer is dead and asks what he's gonna hit him with. Tommy uses his fist.

Match #1: Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond w/ Entourage
This is a little better since Tommy tries harder for TNN. This is still a waste of airtime. Tommy and the Musketeer get into a swordfight again with a crutch against the sword. This is begging for a Berzerker run in, but I'll file that away for future use n something. Same finish as HCTV with the entourage being taken out and Loc throwing Diamond into the DDT for the win.
**

During the ads for upcoming shows, Joey says it's now Credible/Storm/Dreamer for the title at the PPV.

Match #2: Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie
Lynn is supposed to be super over in his homestate. I wouldn't call it super over, but he gets a good pop. Dawn Marie is on a crutch as she hurt her ankle. This is a decent little match until THAT FUCKING ROLL UP SEQUENCE. DIDN'T MISS THAT. Credible accidentally canes Lynn instead of Storm and Lonce covers to win.
**

Tommy comes down, and the three get pulled apart.

Cyrus comes down to the ring while Jerry Lynn gets up and says he's Network! He says being from Canada, he's an expert on the state of Minnesota and he told them that it was populated by idiots. He says only a state of mental retards would elect Jesse Ventura governor, but Jerry's better than everyone else who lives here. He's a legend here, right up there with Greg Gagne and Prince. Cyrus says Jerry can't win the big one despite being unbelievable and says he can't talk and that's a ratings killer. He says he likes him though, and he went to bat for him, so he's here now with an offer he can't refuse. HE says Jerry is a great wrestler and he, Cyrus, is the number one interview man in ECW, and proposed a partnership. Tajiri comes out though and tries to talk sense to Jerry. Cyrus calls him a stupid Jap BUT LYNN HITS TAJIRI WITH A NORTHERN LARIAT. Cyrus shakes his hand and Jerry says here's his god damned charisma. He didn't do it for him or the Network, he did it for himself, and calls Cyrus a [BLEEP]ball. Fuckball? Shitball? Is "sleaze" bad? He leaves, and Cyrus blames Tajiri. He says he'll beat his ass right here, but Steve Corino comes out. Tajiri fights back on Corino and Victory. Rhino comes out to save, and a match happens.

Match #3: Rhino [c] w/ The Network vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri [ECW Television Championship]
This rules for all of three minutes. Tajiri goes wild on Rhino with his kicks and his dive, and then Corino and Victory get involved to save the title. Corino gets put through a table with the Double Stomp, BUT RHINO KILLS HIM WITH THE GORE. GOD DAMNIT. Tajiri eats the Piledriver off the apron through a table, and gets pinned when Rhino rolls him back in.
**

The Network beats up on Tajiri and the Sandman comes out. He gets Gored again, and then Piledriven. Corino gets on the mic and says that's what's gonna happen to his bitch wife. Rob Van Dam comes out to clean house and he hits Rhino with the Five Star Frog Splash to end the show.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
May 14th, 2000
Poughkeepsie, NY


In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo. He says Tommy Dreamer strived for one goal his entire career, and says he interrupted a 10 bell salute for Tommy's dead grandfather or when he caned him within an inch of his life, and he remembers that. He took it all away just like that. Great reminder how you're still not over like a top heel should be and never have been! FUCK YOU, PAUL HEYMAN. YOU'RE BASICALLY GABE TO ME NOW BECAUSE OF THIS. Francine says she also lost her too, and Credible asks if Lance is such a mark that he thinks he carried them, and says he's the most controversial figure in sports entertainment. How? Are you Mike Awesome? Francine says she'll show Dawn Marie why she's the Queen of Extreme. Credible then hits the catchphrase. I hate you. I hate everything.

A Credible highlight reel then airs. In some ways, he's the best heel in ECW history because I hate him more than anyone else, but it's probably not the right kind of hate. The Network are the actual top heels.

Match #1: Little Guido w/ Sal E. Graziano vs. Swinger
Now he's just Swinger. God damnit, no. Stop forcing this on me. It's sort of amazing how the best stuff in ECW 2000 is among the best in company history, and the worst stuff is among the absolute worst, with little middle ground. In that sense, it's very much a back to basics feel, instead of 1997-99 where most of the card was consistent. Decent Guido showcase. He wins with the Maritato.
*3/4

THIS FRIDAY ON TNN: RAVEN GETS HIS TITLE SHOT!

Match #2: Nova/Chris Chetti vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance
CUT IT OUT, ECW. This happened for a while, and whatever. The faces win with the Faggot Splash through a table.
*

CW Anderson attacks them post-match, and New Jack comes out to save for some reason. He cleans them out, but Da Baldies come out to attack New Jack. They make him bleed and beat him down again before Danny Doring and Roadkill come out to save, and a match breaks out.

Match #3: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Angel/Tony DeVito
This is fairly short, and Doring and Roadkill pretty much run through Da Baldies like it should be. They put Angel through a table with the Wheelbarrow Fameasser for the win.
*1/2

Vic Grimes comes out to attack for a 3 on 2, but Balls Mahoney returns to save them.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

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ECW HARDCORE HEAVEN 2000
MAY 14TH, 2000
THE JIMMY RAVE
MILWAUKEE, WI


Before the first match is about to start, Cyrus is up in the announcing perch and says The Network is taking control. He makes Joel Gertner get up from the table and says he thought he could come and take over, but they have a score to settle. He says his fat body is a ratings killer, the people don't buy his gimmick, and he's a fat, disgusting, vulgar piece of crap. He takes off the neck brace and bowtie to fight, but Kintaro Kanemura comes from behind to choke him out. Cyrus then takes over.

Match #1: Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney
YEAH THIS MATCH. LOVE THIS PAIRING. This might have been my favorite match of theirs for reasons I can't quite explain. I felt like it was one of Tanaka's best ECW matches of the year, as Balls actually came out of this looking better than when he came in, so it accomplished something more than just a lot of cool stuff. Balls' punches looked a lot better post-FMW tour than they did before, so that's great to see. Balls survived a Tornado DDT onto chairs and one on the ramp, Diamond Dust, a Rolling Elbow, and a chair off the top, before another Rolling Elbow got the win.
***1/4

In the back, Lance Storm cuts an awesome promo. He says he taught Justin about this business, and he taught him respect for this business. You can teach someone, but you can't make them learn, apparently, because he spit on him and this business. He's always had someone at his back, and in ECW, that was him. He says that's his fault, but says to enjoy the moment in the sun, because he's taking his title and this will all be over. LONCE :( I APPRECIATE YOUR MIC WORK NOW EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A GREAT ACTUAL TECHNICIAN. PLS STAY.

Match #2: Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck vs. Simon Diamond [Three Way Dance]
They don't have to have a three way dance just because it's ECW. They know that, right? This is an obvious Guido win from the start, and a fucking army is at ringside between these three. Diamond is out first after the Whippersnapper, and Mikey/Guido is fun. Mikey shoots a fireball at Sal, but then gets beaten after the Maritato from Guido. Decent enough, especially considering who was in it.
**3/4

In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo and continues to try and mimic Triple H's whole talking pattern with the heavy breathing and saying stuff SUPER-UH INTENSELY. Francine is giving the singapore cane one hell of a handjibber in the background. Credible says nothing new before he drops the phrase.

The New Dangerous Alliance comes out. They tease Elektra taking off the jacket, and I tune out. Jazz comes out to fight her, since she's feuding with every woman because idfk. They beat her up, and Kid Kash comes out to save!

Match #3: Kid Kash vs. CW Anderson w/ The New Dangerous Alliance
Hey, this was fun! They got six minutes and both looked really impressive. Kash absolutely dies on everything and leans into CW's left hands and his Superkick and makes them look extra impressive. A big discovery in 2000 has been that Kid Kash was actually a pretty decent babyface, but just had kind of a weird slump in TNA 2003, apparently. That's not to sell CW short at all, he was good here too and I want a lot of rematches. Kash pulls off a win finally with a Frankensteiner a few moments after the cell phone spot misses.
**1/2

In the back, Joey Styles says Tommy Dreamer might not be in the main event because he's been jumped and bloodied up real bad. You're ECW, you can't even show us that? It'd be a decent little angle there and makes some sense. He says Tommy's been offered his rightful title match in July at Heat Wave if he backs out of the match. Okay then.

In the back, RVD and his camp cuts a promo. He says his leg is feeling at 100%, and says in case Jerry Lynn does join The Network, he's got his man Scotty at his side and says there's nobody he trusts more in the whole world than his best friend Scotty. God damnit, this is so obvious.

Match #4: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Nova/Chris Chetti vs. Angel/Tony DeVito [Three Way Dance]
This sure happened. This was also fairly short at six or so minutes, but I'm happy about it in this case. The booking was really fucking stupid as Grimes comes out to help Da Baldies eliminate Doring and Roadkill first. I really don't get why ECW is pushing Nova and Chetti and not the team that's super over on their own without a huge push and doesn't fucking blow in the ring (even being actually good!). Of course, Nova/Chetti vs. Da Baldies sucks, because it always does. Anyways, Roadkill takes out Grimes after that with a sweet table Splash on the floor off the top. DeVito gets beat with the Faggot Splash.
*1/2

It's a 3 on 2 post-match, but New Jack comes out to save. He destroys Da Baldies with his weapons, and he takes DeVito into the crowd and kills him. He then comes back into the ring, and breaks a guitar over Angel's head, and arbitrarily pins him in a match that wasn't ever a match really, and is now King of the Streets again. I...fuck it. I think it's over now, so fuck it. I'm just happy this might be over.

Steve Corino and Yoshihiro Tajiri come out for their scheduled match, and Corino gets on the mic. He says these people don't deserve the match that they could give them, and says people like Tajiri can make mistakes, but he's part of The Network, and they're willing to forgive and forget him turning his back on them. He says he can make this right and come home to Steve Corino and The Network. Tajiri no-sells it and Corino calls him a slanty eyed little bastard and says he's going to kick his ass!

Match #5: Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri
If there was ever ANY doubt that these are the two best wrestlers in ECW currently, this disproves it. This might even be an application as two all time great ECW wrestlers. Tajiri's in the top 5 undoubtedly, but I never would have put Corino there before this, figuring he didn't become TRULY great until later in 2000 or something despite the marked improvement. Fuck that, because Corino's one of those guys who just magically got it one day and showed up having gone from good to fucking incredible. He bleeds all of the blood in one of the most gruesome bladejobs in ECW history. Tajiri is extra brutal and hateful, doing the table dropkick deal AND A BRAINBUSTER ON THE RAMP GOD DAMN. Corino's selling of the blood loss is incredible, but he gets a ton of offense in too, and comes out looking like a star. Tajiri mists Victory when he tries to interfere, and TAJIRI DEBUTS HIS INSANE KARATE RUSH. BUT BECAUSE IT'S ECW AND HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HOLD BACK, IT'S SO MUCH LONGER AND MORE VIOLENT WITH WAY MORE HEAD PUNCHING. JESUS CHRIST. HE HITS A BUZZSAW KICK OVER THE TOP OF THE TABLE, AND PUTS CORINO THROUGH IT WITH THE DOUBLE STOMP. He doesn't break the table, no. There's a literal hole in the table where Corino got put through it. Tajiri gets the pin to win. The fact that they never met on a bigger stage in a PPV main event is a tragedy.
****1/4

Kintaro Kanemura comes to attack since he works for The Network now, but Tajiri handles it. Victory comes back in for a 2 on 1, which...I don't know. Tajiri just came out looking superhuman and now he's immediately getting beaten up by side characters so The Sandman can save. Dusty comes to save first, but Rhino takes him out. He gets rid of Dusty AND Tajiri. The Sandman comes out for his insane entrance while Rhino paces back and forth. Delaying the match another four months was such a great idea.

Match #6: Rhino [c] vs. The Sandman [ECW Television Championship]
This is great. It's a match largely built around several huge bumps, but they set them up well, and the brawling in between them is good. They also know their limitations and get in and out in like six minutes, so this was great. Spot #1 is where Rhino tries a running Gore on the ramp through a table against the ropes, BUT SANDMAN MOVES AND RHINO TAKES A HEADER THROUGH THE TABLE! PILEDRIVER ON A TABLE ON THE MAT IN THE RING BY SANDMAN! YEAH! Jack Victory comes out, but Lori runs out to cane him! Steve Corino comes out and grabs her, but Sandman saves! BUT CORINO HITS THE SUPERKICK AND RHINO HITS A PILEDRIVER ON THE RAMP. HE DRAGS LORI TO THE RING AND HITS THE FUCKING PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE ON HER! They bring her in for a Gore, BUT SANDMAN SAVES WITH CANE SHOTS! YEAH! Sandman picks Lori off the mat in his arms, BUT RHINO RUNS AND GORES THEM BOTH THROUGH THE TABLE TO WIN. DIS MATCH.
***

Rhino gets the mic and yells "HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY YOU FUCKING BITCH!" and leaves. I love ECW 2000 so much.

Match #7: Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso & Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn
This isn't as good as the 1999 stuff for the most part, but it IS better than their Hardcore Heaven 1999 match by virtue of being less masturbatory and up its own ass. They're just sort of listlessly doing moves for the first half, and then they started to do some cool counters to usual stuff. Some contrived ones happened, and then some of them were also semi-natural looking too. RVD had it won with the Frog Sploosh, but The Network ran out. RVD and Lynn fought them off as Lynn displays that fantastic selling. Rhino comes out to Gore Lynn and he Powerbombs RVD. Cyrus comes out to cheer him on but RVD takes out Rhino. VAN DAMINATOR TO CYRUS! FUCK YEAH! Anton then turns on RVD and shoves him off the top into the ramp. RVD then still kicks out of a Cradle Piledriver, but a second does it. LOL.
**3/4

Justin Credible and Francine come out first for the main event, and Joey says that Tommy's insisted on wrestling in this match. He gets on the mic and says he has unfinished business with Lance Storm and says if anybody besides Lance Storm comes through that curtain, he swears to God, he'll take this god damn belt and throw it in the trash like he did to the Tag Titles. Tommy Dreamer's music hits and people hold him back. Credible dares him and says he'll disgrace everything, and keeps calling him a son of a bitch. TRY HARDER. GOD, YOU'RE THE WORST. Tommy stops, and Lance Storm comes out. Paul says he has them by the balls and he'll get his shot, so Tommy shakes Lance's hand and leaves.

Match #8: Justin Credible [c] vs. Lance Storm [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
The women are there. This was almost great. Lance did his best and actualyl threw some decent punches and chops and got the same out of Credible. They had some fun reversals and a table spot, and there was a catfight. Dawn Marie got hit with That's Incredible, and then it got ridiculous. They clearly ran out of shit to do and in a match nobody cared about due to the obvious result (and the crowd responded with multiple chants for Dreamer), they went to finisher kickouts for drama. It did not work. In his last match before going to WCW, Lance Storm gets to kick out of the new champions's super protected finisher. LOLECW. Justin hits another one to win.
**3/4

Post-match, Tommy Dreamer comes out, and he canes Credible. He then hits Francine with the DVD.

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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
MAY 19TH, 2000 IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN
Minneapolis, MN


In the back, Sinister Minister goes over current events again. Mikey says he sees dead people, and SM says Brad Siegel hasn't fired Bischoff and Russo yet, but they're like his friend Keith Richards. They're dead and don't even know it yet. Everybody laughs. Roll on snare drum.

The last minute or so of Kid Kash vs. Swinger airs, and Kash wins with the Moneymaker. Little Guido and Sal come out to attack post-match, and Guido hits the Maritato. Mikey comes out and throws a fireball at Sal's face because this was filmed before the PPV and this sets up that three way and ECW doesn't make sense.

Match #1: Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck w/ Sinister Minister
This is like two and a half minutes, so there's not a ton going on here. Mikey wins with the Whippersnapper.
*1/2

Then there's a Hamcore Heaven recap.

In the back, RVD cuts a promo. He says he just lost for the first time in two years, and he doesn't even care if Lynn was in on it. He took a victory over him that didn't belong to him, AND HE DOESN'T FUCKING LOSE. He says he didn't want to lose like this, and he'll deal with Cyrus and Scotty Anton and Rhino and he's the Whole Fucking Show, etc.

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Angel/Tony DeVito w/ Vic Grimes [Three Way Dance]
This is also real short, but it at least has the proper result, unlike the PPV match. This is sacrificed for an angle as Steve Corino takes over the booth and says everybody wants to be hardcore and says Tajiri kicked his ass at Hardcore Heaven and it's ridiculous. Grimes interferes to take out Nova. They then do table stuff to Da Baldies, and it's sold like this huge deal. WHEN DORING AND ROADKILL DID THE SAME SHIT, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER SPOT. FUCK RIGHT OFF, ECW. Doring wins with a Butterfly DDT on DeVito.
*1/2

Corino immediately demands the footage airs of HH and says he's not a shooter, he's a wrestler, and this isn't fair.

Back in the ring, Da Baldies beat everyone down until New Jack comes out and does his thing.

In the back, Jerry Lynn cuts a promo. He says he smashed his face on concrete at Hardcore Heaven 1999 and got his ass kicked, but he got up and fought for another 20 minutes. This year, they both got their ass kicked. He got Gored by Rhino, and Scotty pushed RVD off the top. It didn't take him another 20 minutes, it took him 2 tops. It proves that he's better. Great way to cap that promo, sport.

Match #3: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. Raven [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Raven does the best he can. There's a great sort of opposition here, as Raven is super creative with all his brawling and weapon spots, but when Credible has a shot at a table bump in the corner, he just throws Raven through it. Fucking hack. This dies a death when Credible takes over. I appreciate the semi-back to basics deal with the Sleepers and normal pro wrestling holds, but Credible's pretty shitty at it. Which makes sense BECAUSE HE'S NOT A VERY GOOD WRESTLER, SO WHY THE FUCK IS HE THE ONE DOING THIS? YOU *HAVE* A PERFECT OLD SCHOOL HEEL ALREADY. "OLD SCHOOL" IS IN HIS FUCKING NICKNAME. WHY TRY TO MAKE A CLONE OF THAT WHEN YOU HAVE THE REAL THING? Credible tries to get more heat by doing mid-match mic work with a ton of swearing. This is embarrassing. Raven gets him through a good finishing run at least until Credible has another guy kick out of his finish, because being the World Champion means he needs some actual dramatic close calls, and he doesn't have the arsenal or creativity to do anything else but devalue his own finisher. And after that, Credible blocks a sunset flip by grabbing the ropes for the pin. I thought he was mediocre before, but his title reign is teaching me that he's actually worse than that. So that's something.
**1/2

In the back, Cyrus is with Rhino. He says he's so sick and tired of this joke of a wrestling company. He used to work for Vince McMahon and he might again when this merger goes through. He says he's mad that he has Rhino here and he's somehow the bad guy. He says he'll send this company back to the stone age and pay Vince McMahon $100 million just to come here as his little rib. Compared to Paul Heyman and ECW, Vince McMahon is a god damned saint. Rhino says he doesn't give a damn if it's The Sandman or his bitch wife or Tajiri, Super Crazy, or Rob Van Dam. Because anyone who wants this title, you'll have to get through the big fucking deal, Rhino.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
May 21st, 2000
Minneapolis, MN


They are milking this show like it's still 1995/6 and they only run one show a month.

Rhino/Sandman from the PPV is more or less shown in full, along with Rhino's TNN promo. Apparently, Lori is still in the hospital, which makes sense. Joey really goes wild about the treatment of Lori Fullington, but Rhino's beaten her up a few times now. Plus that whole thing with her and Raven.

Match #1: Chilly Willy vs. Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance
OH MY GOD AWFUL. Stuff happens, Jazz comes to deal with Elektra, and Willy wins. FUCK LIFE.
TCGP

A recap airs of the entire Impact Players deal and Credible's rise.

Lots of TNN and Hamcore Heaven highlights this week. HORRIBLE episode.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
May 26th, 2000
Duluth, GA


An awesome black and white recap of Rhino/Sandman, set to classical music, airs to open the show.

In the back, Stevie Prazak asks Francine and Credible about Justin's concussion. She yells at him for barging in and he asks about Credible's vulnerability. He leans against the wall and hold up, I think they're using a bathroom and pretending it's their locker room. Credible stands up and talks about the sacrifices he's made and how hard he's worked. Bullshit. When has this motherfucker EVER had to work hard for anything in ECW? Fucking golden boy's been protected and pushed from day one, don't give anybody that.

In the bathroom locker room, Simon Diamond complains to the mirror that he's considered a comedy act. He says he needs to align himself with someone else with blue chip potential. He opens one door and it's The Prodigy and Prodigette. He shuts it on them, and the same for Mitch and the Musketeer. The toilet flushes and Johnny Swinger comes out and says if he's got a problem, then it's a problem solved. DON'T SING IT. SWING IT. Diamond says he doesn't have a problem anymore. God damnit.

Match #1: Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney
This is not as good due to some botching and a HORRIBLE Balls no-sell. He tries to do Tanaka's fighting spirit deal off chair shots and adds a nice jerking off motion to it, but then the crucial time where he's supposed to drop happens, and he flops down in a super fake manner and ruins the entire deal. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT off the top through a table covered in thumbtacks and some chairs underneath it for the win. They pretty much ran this into the ground now. FRESH TANAKA MATCHES! GIVE HIM TAJIRI. MAKE A DREAM COME TRUE.
**1/2

In the back, Sinister Minister says the whole world is worried about Mikey's new "devil may care" attitude. Sal chokes SM and asks where Mikey is, BUT MIKEY SAVES WITH A FIREBALL! YEAH! Minister says he'd say to piss on him, but then he might put out the fire. LOL.

Tajiri vs. Scotty Anton is up, and he's with The Network entirely. They all do the American Males slow overhand clap and it's hilariously bad. Cyrus says The Network is going to get behind this man and he's a quality human being. He talks about Anton being in RVD's shadow and says he showed RVD what friendship is worth to The Network. Scotty gets the mic and says he's here to give them the clap, and leads the clapping. Cyrus benches Scotty for the match because he's a lover and a clapper and not the fighter, and he knows it's all about the ratings, so the wrestling isn't important. Having two wrestlers wrestle with the same color hair is a ratings killer, so he brings out a man The Network respects, Jerry Lynn!

Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn w/ The Network
Tajiri does the best he can, but he's not saving this. Lynn is supposedly a heel now although the Network affiliation is up in the air, but still works a face/face match for most of this. And yeah, his whole deal is totally run into the ground now and it's more about him than Tajiri, so it's not anything worth discussing in detail. Lynn goes for a chair, but Tajiri cuts him off. Victory trips Tajiri up, and Corino hits the Old School Kick. Lynn then hits a Cradle Piledriver to win.
**1/4

The Network beats down Tajiri before RVD runs out to save, but Anton blindsides him. He puts on a horrible Sharpshooter, but Tajiri breaks it up with mist and runs off the rest of the heels. RVD hits a flip dive onto The Network.

A video tribute to ECW's catfights airs.

In the back, Mr. Prazak finds Raven. He says the title he made, Justin Credible has, and that he was sold out on by some stupid whore isn't worth it. Francine comes over and yells that she's sick of his whining and asks how many title shots he has to lose before he realizes he's a loser, and that's why she left him. She slaps him, so he gets up. Credible canes him, and Tommy comes to try and save, but also gets caned. Francine tries to say the catchphrase, but Credible drags her off by the hair.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
May 28th, 2000
Duluth, GA

Match #1: Kid Kash/Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Angel/Tony DeVito/Vic Grimes

This was their least shitty match yet, so good for them. Pretty sure a lot of that is due to Kid Kash, who's clearly the best guy in this match even if he's not amazing or anything yet. Kash is a decent FIP, but that means fucking Nova has to make the hot tag and the concept of babyface fire eludes him completely. As does good looking offense. So yeah, big pile of shit there. Kash fucks up his Frankensteiner on Grimes at the end, and then fat piece of shit gets beat with the Faggot Drop.
*3/4

In the back, Tommy Dreamer refuses another interview.

In the ring, Cyrus is with Kanemura and names him as the new #1 Contender to the TV Title and says anybody who wants a TV Title shot will have to go through this man, and The Sandman comes out.

Match #2: The Sandman vs. Kintaro Kanemura
Sandman does his thing, which is always going to be a thing that I find entertaining, but a lot of this is becoming tiring. Kanemura's wife randomly comes to interfere but she's useless, so Kanemura wins with a White Russian Legsweep.
*3/4

Highlights of Balls/Tanaka from TNN.

In the back, Balls Mahoney cuts a promo. He says WCW makes a joke out of their hardcore division and a midget is holding the WWF's hardcore belt but tonight, he proved what hardcore was and talks about doing it for the art and the fans and not a paycheck, and says he IS hardcore.

Match #3: Dusty Rhodes vs. Jack Victory [Bullrope Match]
HEY, DUSTY'S STILL HERE! He's wrestling in jorts. ECW post-Credible's title win is ruining everything awesome. This is JIP and we get like the last 2-3 minutes, so whatever. Blood is spilled. Clubbering is done. Corino misses with a run in cowbell shot and Dusty hits Victory with the Elbow Drop.
*1/4

In the back, Danny Doring and Roakdill cut a promo. Doring says he's after the Tag Titles, and the cream always rises to the top. And he won't stop until the panties drop. CHICKENS.

The Justin Credible video airs AGAIN. YOU'RE GOING TO REACT TO HIM NOW, GOD DAMNIT. HE'S YOUR WORLD CHAMPION. YOU CAN'T BE SILENT FOR THE CHAMPION, IT'S IN THE FUCKING RULE BOOK. LOOK, HE'S A STAR. HE HAS FRANCINE AND THE TITLE AND WORKS A SLOWER OLD-TIMEY HEEL STYLE. IT WORKED FOR SHANE DOUGLAS, AND YOU BOOED HIM EVEN IF HE WAS ALSO PRETTY AVERAGE. COME ON, BOO JUSTIN, PLEASE.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
June 2nd, 2000
Toledo, OH


In the ring, Joey and Gertner do their intro. TNN bleeps out "tight" during Gertner's line. They then go to Raven sitting down in the corner to try and interview and Joey sits down next to him and says to go with it. Raven says Justin Credible stole his look, his girl, and his title, so maybe he should be flattered. Justin could never be him though, because when they call him Satan, it bothers Justin Credible, but when they called him that, he enjoyed it. Justin Credible and Francine come to ringside to make sure this show never starts on a high note again. Raven calls them out, so Credible gets in for a fight. Raven gets the best of it and it rules, but then because it's ECW and Credible can't ever look weak or lose any kind of altercation, Credible gets a cane shot and That's Incredible. Tommy Dreamer comes out to save and runs him off. The Network then comes and Scotty Anton comes to beat up Raven. YEAH, GO FOR HIS EYE. AMAZING CONTINUITY. HC Loc tries to stand up to them, so they beat him up too. OH NO, SCOTTY ANTON PUTS ON HIS HORRIBLE SHARPSHOOTER. They then lead the clap going into the intro.

In the back webioieriogerFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK TONY MAMALUKE'S HERE. Guido calls him a rip-off of his heritage, and Tony says he's full blooded. Guido says he'll see how Full Blooded he is.

Match #1: Kid Kash vs. Vic Grimes w/ Da Baldies
I liked this WAY more than I anticipated. Kash didn't hie everything he tried, but the stuff he hit ruled and he just died completely on everything that Grimes did to him. As said, there's some botching from Kash on his flippity dos at points here, AND KASH WINS WITH A VICTORY ROLL! YEAH!
**

In the back, there's a Team Me segment.

Match #2: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Tony Mamaluke
SM and Guido/Sal are on the floor. This is maybe a minute due to an unfortunate tape error or something, but maybe it's just short, considering how this show's been lately. Tony overshoots a Kid Kash style Whisper in the Wind dive, AND NECKPLANTS ON TOP OF THE RAILING HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA. OH MY GOD, IT'D BE HORRIFYING, BUT TONY MAMALUKE IS THE WORST! Mikey wins with a move after a static deal cuts out probably most of this.
3/4*

Guido attacks Mikey, but ends up eating the Whippersnapper. Sal comes in post-match, but Mikey throws powder in his eyes. He's blinded and Mikey throws Tony Mamaluke at him, and Sal hits a Sidewalk Slam and then press slams Tony into the crowd.

In the back, Sinister Minister cuts a promo and says Sal E. Graziano is a glutton, and he loves that sin. He says he's not a glutton for just food, but a glutton for punishment, because Mikey just keeps lighting his face up. He says another sin is stupidity and Big Sal is pretty stupid for putting his hands on him, and the next time he does it, he'll find out the meaning of the term spontaneous combustion. Mikey says he told him there was no such thing. SM drops "liar, liar, pants on fire" and lights his pants on fire. He says he really lit a fire under his ass. They laugh. Mikey yells that it's burning his flesh, but keeps laughing.

In the back, Paul Heyman's famous shoot airs, and it's dealt with by TNN by cutting the audio completely and airing a disclaimer saying to ignore this gentleman's temper tantrum, and saying he's been thrown through too many tables. Here's the real one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0F0THbnf0I

Dawn Marie is super hot and gets a hype video.

Match #3: Rhino [c] w/ Steve Corino vs. The Sandman [ECW Television Championship]
During the match, Dusty Rhodes comes out to stop the interference, but Jack Victory also comes out and they beat down on Dusty. It breaks down into a Sandman/Tajiri/Dusty vs. Network deal after a few minutes and Tajiri cleans house. Scotty Anton comes out to cut him off, and Rob Van Dam runs out. RVD cleans house and this never really ends with any sort of bell. RVD flips on everyone to end the show. Jerry Lynn comes out to watch.
*3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

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ECW Fan Cam
June 3rd, 2000
Pensacola, FL

Match #1: Jorge Estrada vs. Shawn Shocker

Biggie says he couldn't find a fancam listing. But this is an RF Video release, as one can tell by the logo and the fact that it's a fucking ECW fan cam, and they had a listing up. So I'm assuming he just didn't look at all. Also, the intros were clear as day. Jorge is solid, but Shocker is a ball of fuck. Jorge isn't doing generic fun flippy stuff though, so he's just a solid average style wrestler at this point. And ECW being ECW, he of courses loses as Shocker reverses a Crossbody into a pin with the tights to take it.
*1/4

There's pre-match mic work for the tag match, and the best part is Danny starting his part with, "DANNY HAS A HARD-ON."

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Team Me w/ Entourage
God damnit. Johnny and Diamond start their super super average run as a team by being super super average. Doring and Roadkill to be head and shoulders above every other team in ECW. Team Me have a control segment that absolutely happens and drags this down. Johnny hits a Lance Storm at Barely Legal level chair shot to Roadkill, but it means nothing as he gets pinned with the Wheelbarrow Fameasser.
*3/4

Match #3: Kid Kash vs. Chaz Taylor

I'm pleased that Kash is getting pushed up to a level where he gets showcase matches against local talent, which is what this is. Chaz tries to be heel Kid Kash as a cowardly scrawny hatable guy, but he's also not very good, so it doesn't work as well. Kash ends this relatively quickly with the Moneymaker.
*1/2

Match #4: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance

I hate this fucking match. As with the April 16th show, it's them not really trying at all apart from CW, because it's a house show and nobody has any fucking work ethic in this company apart from a handful of guys. The highlight is a fan yelling at Wiles that he's a fat tub of shit during a quiet portion. They hit the Faggot Splash on CW for the win, because everything is upsetting.
*1/4

Match #5: Chilly Willy vs. Chris Hamrick w/ Skyfire

MY DUDE HAMRICK IS HERE! YEAH! EZ Money is on the floor under another name with Hamrick, as easy Googling tells me. He makes everything Willy does look good unfortunately, but there's no Hamrick bump. Which, given ECW's stances on protective padding, is totally understandable. Willy is the worst when he has to do his own stuff though. Willy uses the Falcon Arrow as a finish now. IT DOES THE DEAL.
*1/4

EZ Money and Hamrick attack post-match, and for some reason, New Jack makes the save. I'm assuming he just wants to murder some people. He destroys and bloodies them up in his usual wonderful fashion, and Chokeslams EZ Money through the ironing board.

Da Baldies come out and issue an open challenge. Sinister Minister brings Mikey Whipwreck out to accept and then soon Balls makes the save.

Match #6: Angel/Tony DeVito vs. Balls Mahoney/Mikey Whipwreck w/ Sinister Minister
This was fine enough. Mikey decides to work the entire match still wearing a bathrobe, which is super amusing if not helpful in any way. They keep it mostly short, and I'm a little disappointed that it was a normal formula tag, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Balls has a decent hot tag, and it all works surprisingly well. The Whippersnapper and Nutcracker Suite get a double pin.
**

Match #7: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. Jerry Lynn [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]

I hate this match. However, because of poor sound mixing, the fans sound like they're chanting "SHOW YOUR DICK". Credible stalls with mic work and tries for cheap heat TO NO REACTION. JUSTICE. Credible continues to try his Triple H lite routine with all the clearly unoriginal bumps. The fan cam catches him clearly protecting himself on anything that sends him into the post or uses weapons, further exposing him. They do uncreative table stuff too. OOOOOOH A HIP TOSS THROUGH A TABLE. DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WORK? Crowd does not give a shit about the nearfalls and the biggest non-Francine pop was for the match ending with That's Incredible.
**

Match #8: Rob Van Dam vs. Little Guido

Everyone's on the floor. This was a decent RVD showcase. They do some fun chair stuff and Guido does the best he can to approach something like "bringing it" and RVD does all his cool stuff at 3/4ths speed, still getting some rust off. RVD hits the top rope Van Daminator and then the Five Star Frog Sploosh to win.
**1/2

The Network comes out and everyone but Rhino does the clap. Corino gets on the mic and says this is the greatest team that money can buy, and they are The Network. He says they run things and last night on TNN, Paul Heyman tried to disgrace their network with his shoot comments, but he doesn't run things anymore, Cyrus does. And Cyrus has given them the okay to beat up anyone here in Pensacola in a TNN Death Match. He asks who's tough enough, and Tajiri comes out! Corino says he doesn't understand English and says this isn't one on one, it's four on one and he has no friends. Tommy Dreamer comes out, and Corino says he should have known. Corino says he STILL has a bad back and he's in no shape to wrestle because of his hardcore wrestling these stupid fans. Corino says it's 4 on 2 then. Raven comes out next and Corino immediately drops to his knees and is pissed. Dat foreshadowing of two different AU feuds. Raven gives Gabe the finger. Corino says they still have the odds, AND THE SANDMAN MAKES HIS ENTRANCE. All the faces are on the floor, and Sandman decides to bang on the ring bell to interrupt The Network's ring intros. Sandman is also openly staggering around ringside and pulling his pants up. He wanders backstage during the babyface intros and comes back out, almost tripping on the stairs.

The Sandman gets on the mic and starts with "YOOOOOOO. FUCK THESE GUYS, LET'S GO TO THE BAR." The Network bails out and stalls. Corino is next to the camera and Anton gets a security guard to clap. Corino says they're in for a good one. Dreamer gets the mic and calls them into the ring and says when they're done kicking their ass, they'll all go to the bar and watch Sandman get naked. SANDMAN RESPONDS BY TAKING HIS PANTS OFF, AND HIS UNDERWEAR. DREAMER PULLS SANDMAN'S SHIRT DOWN SO THE CAMERA DOESN'T CATCH HIS DICK. Sandman pulls his underpants back up and Tommy talks to him. He pats him on the back when Sandman tries to pull his pants up. Sandman takes a huge bump and taps out on the mat and everyone is losing it. Victory even drops down on the steps to the stage laughing. RAVEN AND TOMMY MAKE SANDMAN PLAY JUMP ROPE WITH CORINO'S COWBELL. I'M DYING. TAJIRI PRESENTS SANDMAN WITH HIS CANE AND THEY BOW TO EACH OTHER.

The Sandman goes out to get them, but The Network bails up to the stage. After earlier, the steps are like lava to The Sandman, so Tommy and Raven go up instead and the match finally starts with a brawl on the stage.

Match #9: Yoshihiro Tajiri/Tommy Dreamer/Raven/The Sandman vs. Steve Corino/Rhino/Jack Victory/Scotty Anton
This starts with a one minute brawl that rules, but The Network reconvenes ringside. Tajiri, Raven, and Tommy are in the ring, and Corino says their partner is gone. AND THE SANDMAN IS DRAGGING SOME RANDOM FAT LADY ONTO THE STAGE AND TRYING TO GET HER TO RINGSIDE HOLY SHIT WHAT. She breaks free and runs away, AND SANDMAN CHASES HER. I LOVE EVERYTHING. Corino says this is going to be a normal eight man tag, or he'll make sure Rhino finishes the job on Sandman's wife. Sandman jogs back down after that and falls over when he tries to run at them, but they bail to the floor. Sandman brings in a table and lays on it and Corino says they can wrestle around him. He says he's wrestled Tommy a lot and beaten Tajiri a million times, so he'll just wrestle Raven, who for once is the most sober one in the ring. Raven look mad. During this, Sandman has gotten up and taken his pants back off and he moons them. Sandman wants to fight again, so The Network bails out. Victory gets caned and Sandman gets the mic. Oh no. He says he got naked in this ring and every single one of their girlfriends wishes that she was with him after that and come with him. AND WHEN HE MEANS CUM, HE MEANS C-M-E. AHAGAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT. Sandman yells that he can't fucking spell but nobody else who drank a half-gallon of vodka could spell either. He says Dreamer and Tajiri are pissed at him now and Raven doesn't give a fuck because he's been clean for 34 days. Raven just waves. Sandman says he's been with rhino's girl and she loves this, and jerks off the cane.

Corino and Raven FINALLY start the actual match some 10 minutes after a bell. Sandman disappears and comes back with more beer. Tajiri gets in and it becomes an actual good match too. On the floor, The Sandman is walking around and pouring beer into the fans' mouths. Most everyone just kind of wanders to the back and Rhino gets hit with Tommy's DDT to end this. This was objectively a horrible "match", but as a 30+ minute segment, it's among the best things in ECW history.
Pro Wrestling.

Tommy IMMEDIATELY leaves and Tajiri helps Sandman up before the tape cuts.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
June 4th, 2000
Toledo, OH


In the back, Cyrus tells Scotty Anton not to focus on his wrestling, because he has a gimmick now.

TONIGHT: CREDIBLE/LYNN FOR THE ECW TITLE!

Match #1: Chilly Willy vs. Chris Hamrick w/ EZ Money
This is pretty much the same deal as the house show, but a little bit better because they're on TV. Hamrick breaks out the Hamrick Bump here, which is still completely insane, and makes this worlds better than the house show one. Willy wins with the Falcon Arrow and HE'S DONE THE DEAL.
*1/2

Epic Dawn Marie video again.

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Team Me w/ Entourage
This is also better due to more effort. DORING WITH A SWEET DIVE! It's still pretty obviously a Doring/Roadkill showcase, but Johnny and Diamond do a lot more interesting stuff here. They clean house in awesome form at the end on everyone, and Diamond gets beaten with the Wheelbarrow Fameasser.
**

The Sandman/Rhino video also airs again.

In the back, Cyrus cuts a promo in front of Rhino. He says there's no lower form of life than a disgusting drunk who wants to treat The Network like some used car salesman. He says The Sandman is a disgusting piece of garbage and he will not mess with the Network. Rhino says time and time again, Sandman looks to his beer for comfort. He can look to him for comfort if he wants, and he'll drive him through a table like he did to his whore wife and his rotting corpse will smell worse than his wife's rotting cooch. So he'll remember the name Rhino.

From the phone, Paul Heyman bans all Network members from interfering in the main event under the threat of pulling ECW off of TNN.

Match #3: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. Jerry Lynn [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
Again, a better version of the house show effort. They do a little more here, but the actual effort is just about the same. Or maybe that's just these two being incapable of actually doing anything about average in a normal pro wrestling match. The originality strikes again. BY GOD A HIP TOSS THROUGH A TABLE. What is this, WWF 1999? That's a fucking Hardcore Holly spot, ECW. You're supposed to be cutting edge. Credible wins with That's Incredible.
**

On a phone call, Cyrus calls in and yells at Joey for complaining. He brags about getting to work with a real announcer, JR. Cyrus says Jerry Lynn won't win the title on Hardcore TV and he decides who wins and loses matches, and Jerry Lynn will win the ECW Title soon, but on the home of Rollerjam.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
June 9th, 2000
New Orleans, LA


For some reason, the in-ring intro is down with house lights on, and it looks pretty bad crowd-wise. They bring out Jazz for a hometown pop, but Credible runs down and canes her. TNN censors this out. OH MY GOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING BEHIND THE PIXELATION?! Credible gets on the mic and says Tommy Dreamer's been chasing him since he won this and he's ECW's sacrificial lamb. He says Tommy doesn't have the balls to get in the ring with him and until he breaks his silence, he'll continue his path of "destruction". Tommy runs out and they have a pull-apart. DON'T CARE!

ECW HEAT WAVE: JULY 16TH! Credible/Dreamer is announced in a Stairway to Hell match.

In the back, Joey and Gertner announce Credible vs. Dreamer in a tag match with partners of their choice.

In the back, Raven cuts a promo. He says Scotty Anton went from his one eyed flunkie to the Network's hired gun. He then drops his line about how the world's full of kings and queens, etc.

In the back, Joey and Joel talk about the shoot and Joel says TNN supposedly harbors no ill will towards ECW. Joey motions that he's digging a grave and burying them.

In the ring, Cyrus is with Raven and says he used to be a ratings draw and says he's here to offer him a hand up, and offers him a spot in The Network! He says they can cancel this Raven/Anton match if he shakes Scotty's hand. Raven asks if he's gonna get any promo time, and Cyrus says there's only enough budgeted in this segment for himself. Raven says no.

Match #1: Raven vs. Scotty Anton w/ Cyrus
This is infuriating. Raven does what he can and has some nice table/chair spots, but it's fucking Scotty Riggs. Seriously, why is Scotty Riggs in ECW? He has a sub-Rock level Sharpshooter as a finish and fucking wins clean with it. I hate everything about this company that isn't related to Tajiri, Corino, and Rhino right now.
*1/2

In the back, Da Baldies hype themselves up.

The stupid Justin Credible highlight reel airs AGAIN.

Justin Credible and Francine come out, but then Cyrus comes out with Rhino. Cyrus calls him the greatest World Champion in the history of ECW and he's got the hottest woman in ECW playing with his stick, but he's here to talk business. He proposes that he takes Rhino as his partner, and he's cool with it. Tommy comes out and unsurprisingly has the Sandman as his partner.

Match #2: Tommy Dreamer/The Sandman vs. Justin Credible/Rhino w/ Francine & Cyrus
Fun 5-6 minute mess of a match. Good crowd brawling with Tommy and Rhino, and Sandman brings a ladder in the ring to make Credible have a decent array of spots in his brawls for once. Steve Corino runs out to help the heels but then Yoshihiro Tajiri comes to run him off. Scotty Anton comes out, which brings RVD. He cleans house in a most sloppy manner and hits Rhino with the Van Daminator and Five Star Frog Splash. Sandman pins Rhino to win!
**1/4

Credible canes Sandman and Tommy post-match, and the Network takes down RVD. Cyrus puts the shitty Sharpshooter on RVD and Cyrus cheers to break his leg. Credible stands tall with The Network to end the show and Cyrus says that's what you get when you mess with The Network.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
June 11th, 2000
New Orleans, LA


We go to a JIP Baldies/Doring & Roadkill match. Team Me comes out to ringside to beat up Roadkill with chair shots and then Doring gets beaten with a Double Flapjack in an upset. They keep on the attack, and then New Jack's music hits before the intro video starts. We come back, and New Jack is New Jacking it right the fuck up and murdering Da Baldies again. New Jack hits Angel with the 187 and wins an impromptu match.

Match #2: Kid Kash vs. CW Anderson w/ The New Dangerous Alliance
Once again, these two work REALLY well together. I can totally see this being a TV Title match on PPV in 2001/2 if ECW lived. Kash takes some big bumps and has cool high flying stuff, and CW goes after the arm. Kash mostly sells it well, and they do some cool offense and counters. Lou misses with the phone shot, and Kash rolls up CW for the win!
**1/2

They air Paul Heyman's shoot on TNN, but I already linked to it. Plus, you know how to use Youtube, it's 2014.

Match #3: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Team Me w/ Entourage
This is my hell. Hey, this was pretty bad! This is the first match I've seen in ECW where Johnny and Diamond look like the best team in the ring and the two best wrestlers in the ring too. Doring and Roadkill come out and they take Diamond away to the back. Chetti and Johnny have a HORRIBLE run against each other, and Chetti wins with the Amityville Horror.
3/4*

In the back in more footage edited off TNN, Joel Gertner cuts a promo. He says hello to all his friends the TNN executives. The ones who have been incarcerated for smuggling underage farm animals across state lines for purposes of sexual gratification, but at least they were safe about it. They only picked calves that didn't kick back.

Before the next match, Mikey lights the ring bell on fire.

Match #4: Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mamaluke and Minister are on the floor. This is 3-4 minutes and while it's not amazing or anything being these two in a wrestling match in the year 2000, it's not horrible. Sal E. Graziano makes his return and comes out to attack Mikey. The bell rings, so DQs now count for this match despite this taping being main evented by that TNN main event where 4 other people ran in with no consequence.
*3/4

Sal slams Mikey and empties a bottle of lighter fluid on Mikey. Tony doesn't have any matches though and Balls Mahoney comes to save Mikey. He hits chair shots, but Sal blows it off and hits Balls with a Side Belly to Belly and then a Splash, so Balls is dead. The FBI stands tall to end the show, and I understand NOTHING.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
June 16th, 2000
Pittsburgh, PA


TONIGHT: CREDIBLE/LYNN III (IN 2000) FOR THE BELT! The intro also says that Dawn Marie is coming back soon! Yeah!

In the ring, Joey and Gertner again do their whole deal and Cyrus interrupts Gertner's nickname schtick for the first time in a while. He says he has Network business with Joel Gertner and says nobody cares about him here and he's tried to be diplomatic about it. Visually speaking, he's what they call a ratings killer and he's living proof of the fact that wrestling is show business for ugly people. He's here as his boss but Gertner cuts him off and says he's trying to get over at his expense and he's sick of his shit. Cyrus says not to get hot and says to let him tell him as the guy who's about to kick his fat ass and says he reminds him of a fat kid at school and asks if he knows what he did to him. AND JOEL YELLS "YOU USED TO SUCK HIS DICK?" HUGE POP. Cyrus says he'll edit that like he edited Heyman and says all his little lines are off the show but what makes it to air is him slapping his fat face. Gertner says nobody cares about Cyrus or paid to see his ugly face and hear his drivel and yells to fire him or get to some kind of a point. Cyrus demands an apology to him and TNN if he wants to stay on this show so Gertner says he's sorry. HE'S SORRY ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE'S BEEN HERE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND HIS ASS STILL IS NOT OVER AND HE'S SORRY THAT SINCE GOES WAY BEYOND ECW AND HIS NETWORK, HE'S SORRY THAT HE'S GONNA KICK HIS FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW. BUT RHINO COMES IN AND GORES JOEL! CYRUS STOMPS ON JOEL, BUT JOEY STYLES PULLS HIM OFF! WHOA! JOEY PULLS HIS JACKET OFF TO FIGHT, BUT CORINO AND VICTORY HIT THE RING TO HOLD HIM BACK FOR CYRUS. Tommy Dreamer hits the ring to save, and Justin Credible comes after him with the cane. CREDIBLE MISSES A SHOT AND CANES RHINO! But it turns into The Network and Justin beating on Tommy BEFORE RVD COMES OUT TO SAVE! He cleans house and Anton overshoots throwing a chair. Rhino catches it, AND RVD HITS THE VAN DAMINATOR! It's down to RVD and Anton and Anton bails. RVD DIVES ONTO THE NETWORK! AMAZING segment.

In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo. He says Jerry Lynn won't beat him, and he's gonna beat HIM. WHOA EPIC PROMO. Rhino comes by and says unless he fucks up again, and Credible just responds by asking him to shut up, and calling him a big retard. Cyrus pulls them apart and yells to do business.

Match #1: Kid Kash vs. EZ Money w/ Chris Hamrick
Kash trying to do super complicated stuff and fucking it up before doing sensational medium-grade high flying is always going to be funny to me. Hamrick interferes and has good looking offense. They do the sloppiest RVD/Lynn roll up exchange spot ever, so that's also amusing. Everything basic they try here is good, but the other stuff blows. Kash wins with the Moneymaker.
*3/4

EZ Money and Chris Hamrick lay out Kash post-match, and Money hits a Moonsault. New Jack comes to save and destroys them.

In a pretape, Sinister Minister is at a makeshift podium of a table with ECW spraypainted on it, with some people around him in Marilyn Manson/other early 2000s metal outfit shirts, and Mikey and Balls Mahoney. They rail against censorship and oppression and they believe in the Bill of Rights, because this is America. Land of the free, home of the brave. Mikey then yell-hums "Battle Hymn of the Republic". SM says he didn't know Mikey was such a good hummer. The Prodigette comes out from under the podium and says her name's not Mikey. THE GREATEST. Everyone breaks out laughing when The Prodigy drags her off. AMERICA. FUCK YEAH.

In the back, Rhino and Credible are held apart again.

On the way to the curtain backstage, The Network applauds for and cheers on Lynn.

Match #2: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. Jerry Lynn [ECW World Heavyweight Championship]
This is better than their last two matches. Lynn gets a fun crowd brawl out of it and adds some nice chair stuff. Credible then takes over and tries to do his whole old school act that isn't half of Corino's, and obviously fails. Lynn picks it back up with a Frankensteiner through the timekeeper's table to get the crowd alive. The Network comes out and gets rid of Francine after some nice nearfalls. Rhino tries to Gore Credible, BUT HE MOVES AND RHINO GORES LYNN THROUGH THE TABLE. Credible covers to win, but the screen gets minimized so TNN can plug Arena Football. I LOVE THE NETWORK.
**1/2
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
June 18th, 2000
Pittsburgh, PA

Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Tony DeVito w/ Angel

Oh my god, what a waste of Tajiri. But then looking at PPV cards, they clearly had no fucking idea how to book the guy or just refused to push him as a top guy despite clearly being the best wrestler in the company and super over to boot. Tajiri does the best he can to give DeVito a chance, and DeVito is technically the best one in the group. Tajiri mists the interfering Angel and beats DeVito with the Brainbuster.
**

In the back, Joey hypes up Dawn Marie's return at the Milwaukee/Chicago TV tapings.

The amazing Minister segment from TNN airs.

In the back, Little Guido yells at Mamaluke for wearing an FBI shirt.

Apparently, Raven's leg was hurt by Anton's limp ass weak Sharpshooter and is out of action. SCOTTY FUCKING RIGGS IS THE ONE YOU GIVE THE RUB OF PUTTING RAVEN OUT?! JESUS CHRIST.

Match #2: Balls Mahoney/Mikey Whipwreck vs. Tony Mamaluke/Sal E. Graziano
Minister and Guido are on the floor. This isn't going to be good because it's a Sal match, but whatever. Mamaluke is mostly useless, but isn't outright bad yet and will at least do a crazy dive. Balls destroys Mamaluke with a chair shot for the pin.
*1/4

Guido attacks Mikey Whipwreck post-match, and Sal lays out Balls Mahoney. Guido puts Balls on a table on the floor, and Sal does a Cactus Chair Elbow deal off the apron to put him through the table.

In the back, Fonzie takes to RVD. RVD says he's not often pissed off and he's coming to Milwaukee to beat the shit out of somebody, be it Scotty, Rhino, or even Jerry Lynn. People there are going to see someone's ass get kicked by their favorite wrestler, Rob Van Dam.

In the back, Jerry Lynn says ECW's been generous to give him 45 seconds to plug these TV tapings. He says he's the best wrestler in ECW and he beat RVD and he's the New F'N Show.

IN THE RING, FUCKING PCO HITS THE RING AND BEATS UP HC LOC.

Match #3: Jean-Pierre Lafitte vs. HC Loc
OH MY GOD, WHAT?! PCO still looks fucking GREAT here. Awesome power offense and insane intensity. It's only a minute, but it's the best thing on the show so far. He gets the win with LE CANNONBALL~ and counts his own pin.
*1/2

Before the next match, Chetti and Nova come out to watch, but The New Dangerous Alliance attacks them, and they brawl to the back.

Match #4: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Team Me w/ Entourage
This is again not awful, but nothing really worth writing a lot about either. The fans chant very hurtful things. Roadkill has an awesome hot tag again the house is cleaned of the entourage as usual. Doring and Roadkill get another win with the Wheelbarrow Fameasser, named the Buggy Bang.
**
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
June 23rd, 2000
Danbury, CT


In the back, RVD is standing by and Fonzie yells. He says they're coming to Heatwave in LA. RVD says ECW's never been out west before, and they're starving for ECW action and their favorite wrestler, RVD. He says he puts on the best matches ever and since he's Mr. PPV, he'll break it in right and Los Angeles will call him the Whole Fucking Show.

Clips air of New Jack's insane balcony dive from the HCTV taping.

In the back, New Jack cuts a promo. He says South Central LA's been quiet for a long time, ever since Rodney King and the town got set on fire. ECW is gonna land in California and they're gonna put South Central and LA back on the map and show them where the violence came from. They're the originators of violence and where New Jack was brought up and how he had to fight and steal to survive. He's a survivor now and July 16th, he'll survive that night and he feels sorry for whoever's dumb enough to sign a contract to get in the ring with him. He's putting violence down and in South Central and in California, and this ain't gonna be some old bullshit show. He says this is gonna be worse than the earthquake.

During the intro, Cyrus comes out and says they're not doing any TV on The Network and they might have Orlando Wilson's Fishing for two hours or RRRROCK AND BOWL AND BY GOD, IF THEY ALL PRAY, THEY MIGHT HAVE RRRRRRRROLLERJAM! FUCK YEAH! Cyrus says there's a reason why and says he gets to look into everyone's contract and the contract with this network that states that there must be two announcers and unfortunately, his partner is in the hospital. Cyrus calls Joey a little yuppie puke and says to take his whole deal and his phony glasses and he can go back to Stamford where he lives because unless he can produce a color commentator in 10 seconds, this show will never see the light of day. Joey then just introduces Joel Gertner anyways and he's fine to run into the ring and chase Cyrus off. Okay then! Francine comes out and Cyrus stares at her chest and says those are ratings getters. He says given that after they met last night/last week, he took care of her boy and Justin Credible is STILL the World Champion. So now she needs to take care of him, and says to go get Joel. Cyrus leaves as she gets in the ring and she yells at them. Joel says he won't hit her, but then brings out Tommy Dreamer to do it! They leave and she tries to get Tommy to calm down. She says Justin Credible had a family emergency and isn't here and she's here by herself. She says if he finally opens his mouth and says something, she might open her mouth for him. She yells to break his silence and slaps him but Jazz comes out and hits Francine with the X Factor. Horrible. Jazz says he doesn't need to break his silence, and calls Francine a douchebag.

TONIGHT: TAJIRI/CORINO II!

Match #1: Chilly Willy vs. Tony Mamaluke
WHY? This is under a minute and Willy DOES THE DEAL with the Falcon Arrow.
3/4*

Post-match, Little Guido and Sal hit the ring and Guido hits Chilly Willy with the Maritato. He puts on an arm hold and then takes down HC Loc before Balls Mahoney comes to save. Guido sneaks in a low blow on Balls and the FBI beats down Balls again. Sal hits a headbutt to the ribs off the middle rope to about kill him. MIKEY RUNS OUT WITH A BAT ON FIRE AND THE FBI BAILS.

NEXT WEEK: RHINO/RVD FOR THE TV TITLE!

In the back, there's a Team Me segment. The entourage is stupid, and Johnny says there's too much singing and not enough swinging. Diamond is mad and they walk into the next room where The New Dangerous Alliance is. Elektra hits on them, and Diamond says they don't need MORE freaks. CW gets mad and says he'll get freaky on their asses, and asks if they're straight. Johnny says yes and makes Diamond leave.

In the back, Cyrus and Scotty Anton cut a promo. They have a clapper and Anton claps the lights on. Cyrus says they're bringing the clap to LA even though they all have it. Cyrus says Rob Van Dam is also getting the clap at the pay per view, and Anton says he's not RVD's best friend and these hands are gold. THE CLAPPER. I hate all of this.

Before Tajiri/Corino, Cyrus comes out and says he knows Tajiri is a lying, cheating, stinking foreigner and has no sportsmanship. He says there's a lot riding on this and demands the ref calls this right down the middle and demands that when Steve Corino covers Tajiri, he has to count fast and if Tajiri gets a cover, he stops at two. The ref says he'll call it fair, so Cyrus attacks him from behind. Cyrus says in the interest of greater ratings, they bring out the special referee, Jerry Lynn. God damnit, this had so much promise.

Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory [Special Referee: Jerry Lynn]
Tajiri and Corino don't give a shit about this and have a great match anyways. They can't follow their PPV match obviously, but they have some great new flourishes here to make this a nice lower key version of that match. Corino gets more offense here and continues to slowly get more serious as he has counters for Tajiri's stuff and doesn't get totally destroyed. Corino ducks the mist and Lynn gets it. Tajiri puts on the Octopus and Corino loudly yells that he quits. Cyrus throws in the towel, but then Tajiri lets go and goes to try and tell Lynn to ring the bell. He punches him and Corino then hits the Old School Kick to win.
***1/4

Jerry Lynn immediately leaves.

In the back, the camera goes to Rhino for comments, and he yells to get the fuck out.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
June 25th, 2000
Danbury, CT

Match #1: Scotty Anton vs. Pitbull #1

Oh, no. I rarely do this. But no.

Match #2: Kid Kash vs. Chris Hamrick w/ EZ Money
Decent enough showcase. Hamrick got his bump in, but otherwise didn't contribute a lot here in comparison to his other outings. Kash does his thing and has a sweet dive, and then he beats Hamrick with the Moneymaker.
*3/4

They attack post-match, and New Jack again comes to save and destroys them. Hamrick gets taken through the crowd and he's the one who New Jack hits his balcony dive on.

They replay the Team Me segment from TNN.

In the back, Francine says Justin Credible won't waste his time addressing people in Philadelphia, and they hate that city. She says they're coming back on July 8th and says she doesn't put out for anybody because she's a good girl. LOL.

New Jack's TNN promo airs.

Match #3: Danny Doring vs. Simon Diamond w/ The Prodigy & Prodigette
I assume they're splitting the entourage in half. This is like 3 minutes, so not a lot to write about here. There's some interference, and Johnny comes out to cheap shot Doring. Diamond then hits the Diamondizer for the win. BOOOOO.
*1/2

Roadkill runs out to save, starting the next match.

Match #4: Roadkill vs. Johnny Swinger
Everyone is at ringside by this point. This is also really short and the same idea with all the interference. The New Dangerous Alliance also runs out, and CW knocks out Roadkill with a cell phone shot before he pulls Johnny on top for the win.
*1/4

Post-match, Chris Chetti and Nova run out to save.

Match #5: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles w/ The New Dangerous Alliance
This happens. Again, CW does the best he can. ALSO really short. Diamond crotches Chetti on the top rope when they're trying the Faggot Splash. Nova kicks Team Me away and jumps off, but CW catches him, and he hits the Anderson Spinebuster. Wiles makes the cover for the win.
*1/4

The Cyrus/Scotty Anton promo from TNN airs.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
June 30th, 2000
Milwaukee, WI


In the back, Cyrus cuts a promo with Rhino. He says tonight, the Whole F'N Show might just wind up the Dead F'N Show and a lot has changed since he took over ECW. The biggest change is this man. Rhino says RVD wants to come after HIS Television Title, like he hasn't heard the news. He's up against the BIG FUCKING DEAL, RHINO.

Jerry Lynn comes out as a ref again and says they have to get back to the booth to call this next match and he has this under control. They leave and Jerry Lynn says he made a mistake last week because this son of a bitch -- but a really nice guy -- blew mist in his eyes. He calls Tajiri an asshole again and Joey points out that he has a TNN mic. Actual referee and future AAW promoter/IWA-MS talent Danny Daniels refuses, so Lynn hits him with the Cradle Piledriver.

Match #1: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido w/ FBI [Special Referee: Jerry Lynn]
This match happens again. Tajiri continues to be the best and this is almost great before it gets cut way short and then booking happens to it. Tajiri brings the insane violence with head kicks and chair stuff, and Lynn allows Sal to run in. He hits a big falling slam on Tajiri, and Guido covers...for the three. Wait, what? A few months ago, Tajiri could have survived that! WHY IS TAJIRI BEING DEPUSHED NOW? I'M SORRY, DID HE GET TOO OVER? RACIST FAGGOT ASS COMPANY.
**3/4

In the back, RVD says he's taking his title back.

In the back, Mikey comes out of a room and tells Sinister Minister that this girl's charging $1000 for two minutes and it's worth it. Minister rolls his eyes and opens the door. It's George from WCW, and she's still porn star hot.

Francine comes out to the ring in wrestling gear, and she says she refuses to wrestle Jazz. Jazz comes out anyways and Francine bails to the apron. Jazz again misuses "douchebag" and says she's gonna kick her ass, but Justin Credible attacks from behind. Tommy Dreamer comes to save, and a mixed tag breaks out.

Match #2: Justin Credible/Francine vs. Tommy Dreamer/Jazz
This is short and whatever. Jazz low blows Credible to get some revenge and Tommy pins the champion with his new Tommyhawk move, which is like a Quackendriver I lift into a Cutter.
*1/4

Jazz leaves and comes out with a roll of barbed wire, but Steve Corino and Jack Victory come out behind her and stop it. Corino takes her off to the back and it allows Credible to recover and lay out Tommy Dreamer with cane shots. BECAUSE JUSTIN CREDIBLE CAN NEVER LOOK WEAK! NOPE! He takes him in the ring with the wire roll and hits the Tombstone on top of it. He drags Francine on top of Tommy and counts a three.

NEXT WEEK: CREDIBLE/SANDMAN FOR THE BELT!

Match #3: Rhino [c] vs. Rob Van Dam [ECW Television Championship]
Cyrus and Fonzie are at ringside. This is really really good and it's about 75% of a great title match. Rhino's power stuff looks better than ever in there against a bump freak like RVD, and RVD's stuff is generally pretty good. They start to move into a finishing run, but Scotty Anton runs out to push RVD off the top for the DQ.
**1/2

RVD gets back in, and he gets mowed down with the Gore. Anton stomps on RVD and they pick him up. RVD fights back, but Steve Corino and Jack Victory run out to make it a 4 on 1. Justin Credible hits the ring to cane RVD and he stands with The Network. TREE OF WOE GORE ON RVD HE'S DEAD. Cyrus gets on the mic and says it goes to show that NOBODY, BY GOD, NOBODY MESSES WITH THE NETWORK. They leave and Credible measures RVD for another cane shot, BUT HE DUCKS AND RUNS TO DIVE ONTO THE NETWORK! YEAH! AND "ENTER SANDMAN" HITS! He goes apeshit on Credible with cane shots to end the show. ECW doing bad shit in 2000 is so infuriating when they're capable of great segments like this.
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
July 2nd, 2000
Milwaukee, WI


In the back, Rhino yells that at the pay-per-view, he's done playing with The Sandman. HE MEANS NOTHING TO HIM. HIS SLUT WIFE MEANS NOTHING. AND AT THE PAY PER VIEW, HE'S DONE. HE'S DONE. HE'S DONE PLAYING WITH HIM. AND WHEN HE LEAVES HIM IN HIS OWN PISS, BLOOD, AND SHIT, HE'LL DIE REMEMBERING THE NAME OF THE BIG FUCKING DEAL, RHINO. I fucking love Rhino.

Match #1: Chris Chetti/Nova vs. EZ Money/Julio Dinero w/ Chris Hamrick
This is decent. They don't pretend this is anything but a big ass spotfest, which means this is better than I would have expected. Julio gets beat with the Faggot Splash.
*3/4

The Mikey/Minister/George segment from TNN airs.

In the back, The New Dangerous Alliance say it's time to show just how dangerous they can be, and they WILL hold ECW gold. They bump into Team Me and Wiles tries to start shit. Diamond and Johnny beat him down and CW doesn't help. Lou yells to help, AND CW WALKS OFF AND SAYS HE'S AN ANDERSON! YES! AND DIAMOND HITS WILES' ARM AGAINST THE WALL WITH A CHAIR! YEAH! He says that's how Diamond and Johnny solve a problem.

In the back, Raven cuts a promo! YEAH, RAVEN'S BACK! He says Scott Anton's clock is running 14:58, 14:59, 15 minutes. His time's up. He says his started when he blinded him and allowed him the honor of worshiping at his alter of pain. He says when Scotty closes his eyes, he sees only darkness. And when he sees only darkness, that's when he'll find him.

Match #2: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Team Me vs. CW Anderson/Bill Wiles [Three Way Dance]
Everyone is on the floor, etc. Wiles has his arm taped up and is mad with CW. This is actually pretty fun and laid out well. I like the trend on this episode of the tag division not pretending they're here to do normal matches and just doing lots of moves. Wiles accidentally hits CW with the phone, SO CW LAYS HIM OUT WITH THE SPINEBUSTER! FUCK YEAH CW! Doring and Roadkill eliminates Wiles and the NDA with the Buggy Bang. CW punches everyone and leaves. Roadkill and Doring have a nice run of offense, BUT GETS SHOVED OFF THE TOP THROUGH THE TIMEKEEPER'S TABLE! DORING GETS BEAT WITH THE SNAPSHOT! GO ME!
**1/4

The mixed tag and post-match from TNN airs.

In the back, Jazz cuts a promo. Do not care.

In the back, Justin Credible says he's coming next week to fight like his life is on the line, because it is. Francine says his catchphrase. She's not even jerking off the cane. Why even bother?

Match #3: Steve Corino w/ Jack Victory vs. Kid Kash
This ruled. Not quite great because of some frustrating Kash botches, but a really great low-key Corino performance. He does everything he can to put Kash over strong in defeat. Corino's spots are all awesome and he throws some fantastic punches. I really get the idea that you could probably plug Steve Corino into Triple H or Jeff Jarrett's roles in 2000 in WWF/WCW, and he would be able to carry it off and maybe even be better. It's weird how a guy that was already an all-time favorite of mine can surprise me this much. Anyways, Corino making it look like a "stronger in defeat" deal is a genius move, AS KASH GETS A CRADLE FOR THE UPSET! Not a great booking move, but Corino can gain everything back on the mic, so whatever.
**3/4
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW on TNN
July 7th, 2000
Villa Park, IL


In the ring, Francine comes and canes Gorgeous George. She says she doesn't know who she is or where she came from, but she she's the Queen of Extreme.

In the ring, Joey and Joel do their introduction and Cyrus comes out to interrupt. He says he's warned Gertner about his dirty jokes and says this crowd is about to see him kick his fat ass. Joey tries to warm up Joel to fight and Cyrus says he doesn't have the balls to get with him. Joel says the last guy who "got" with him has a rash on his balls now. He says he's actually glad he's out here and that he's here in Chicago and tonight in Chicago, he'll get his ass kicked by him! SPIKE DUDLEY COMES OUT! FUCK YEAH! He still has a leg brace on though and he says people know he doesn't say a lot but everyone in the back and everyone knows that he backs up what he says. Because of The Network, Super Crazy was deported to Mexico. Because of him, RVD was stripped of the TV Title. Because of him hiring Rhino to break his leg, he's out for nine months! He says tonight is payback night, but Rhino runs out! He says he's not kicking anybody's fucking ass, and he'll break his leg again. PITBULL #1 RUNS OUT TO SAVE.

SING IT WITH ME.

NINETEEN SIXTY

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE YEAH OW

Match #1: Rhino [c] vs. Pitbull #1 [ECW Television Championship]
Wolfe gets like 30 seconds of offense, AND GETS GORED THROUGH A TABLE. PILEDRIVER OFF THE APRON THROUGH A TABLE. HIS NECK IS BROKEN AGAIN, AND THIS TIME I DON'T FEEL BAD FOR CHEERING BECAUSE RHINO IS BETTER THAN DOUGLAS! That obviously gets the three count.
*

TONIGHT: CREDIBLE/SANDMAN! TAJIRI/LYNN! DAWN MARIE IS BACK!

Match #2: Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn
Lynn jumps Tajiri to start, and there again questions of Lynn's loyalty. This rules because it's a Tajiri match. Cyrus comes out to cheer on Jerry Lynn in a Lynn t-shirt. Tajiri gets distracted, but they have a good spotfest anyways. Cyrus gets in the ring, AND TAJIRI MISTS HIM. OCTOPUS ON CYRUS FUCK YEAH. STEVE CORINO COMES OUT AS THE REF DEALS WITH THAT...AND HITS LYNN WITH THE OLD SCHOOL KICK?! WHOA! He leaves, and Tajiri lets go. He hits Lynn with the running Basement Dropkick for the win!
**1/2

In the back, Justin Credible cuts a promo. He says he's going to prove to The Sandman that the ECW World Champion is Justin Credible. I think we all know who the champion is, you fucking moron.

The CW Anderson stuff from HCTV is shown.

Match #3: Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Team Me w/ Entourage [Three Way Dance]
This is fun again due to a quality match layout. Doring has a surprisingly good dive that could become a great one if he worked on it. CW Anderson comes out to destroy everyone with DAT LEFT HAND. He leaves, and Nova gets beat with the Diamondizer. YEAH! GET RID OF THE WORST TEAM! I almost typed "bad team" before realizing that Johnny and Diamond look good by default in this mostly awful division. Chetti ends up shoving Doring off the top and Team Me wins again with the Snapshot. The last one was better due to getting more time though.
**

Before the main event, Dawn Marie is introduced as the special referee. She gets in Francine's face, but Credible canes her super hard in the back of the head. Kudos to Dawn for taking that. The Sandman then comes out, and there's no special referee. Okay then! Probably should have hyped up the ref angle before then for this to mean anything.

Match #4: Justin Credible [c] w/ Francine vs. The Sandman [ECW World Heavyweight Championship][/b]
Joey non-ironically calls this The Battle of the Hardcore Icons. I want to die. Sandman ups his violence and creativity game by using a wooden pallet instead of a table for a corner bump or two. This isn't great, but it's at least memorable because of this change. There's a ref bump naturally and we get more of Credible's aping of Kliq trademark bumps in a super fake manner. Dusty Rhodes comes out to try and be ref, but Francine breaks it up. Corino and Victory then come to attack Dusty AGAIN and they go to the floor. Francine canes Sandman, but George comes out for the catfight. Sandman has it won again, but Scotty Anton takes out HC Loc. RAVEN COMES OUT TO FIGHT SCOTTY AWAY! YEAH! Credible breaks out his super inventive table hip toss bump too! RHINO THEN GORES SANDMAN NO GOD DAMNIT. Credible then hits That's Incredible to win.
**1/2

Tommy Dreamer comes out post-match to fight Credible and he DDTs Rhino. Jazz comes out and brings the barbed wire in, AND TOMMY HITS A PILEDRIVER ON THE BARBED WIRE ROLL! FUCK YEAH!
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Big Tuna
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The Master and Ruler Of The World

ECW World Heavyweight Champion: Justin Credible, Since 4/22/2000
ECW Television Champion: Rhino, Since 4/22/2000 - LONGEST REIGNING CURRENT CHAMPION
ECW World Tag Team Champions: Vacant

ECW Hardcore TV
July 9th, 2000
Villa Park, IL


In the back, Joey Styles plugs a TNN taping in Poughkeepsie and says they're on their way out anyways, so this might be the last TNN show ever with what they have planned.

Match #1: Chilly Willy vs. EZ Money w/ Chris Hamrick
This happens. Willy is improving and is now just below average and inexperienced instead of outright shitty. EZ Money is the same way, so while it's not bad, I wouldn't call it good either. Willy wins with the Falcon Arrow in about 3-4 minutes.
*3/4

TONIGHT: RVD VS. GUIDO IN A TV TITLE #1 CONTENDERS MATCH!

In the back, Paul Heyman talks to Joel Gertner and tells her to plug their ECW debut in Manhattan! HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM!

A brief Rhino/Sandman promo airs, set to "California Love". Awesome.

In the back, Cyrus says The Sandman is on a collision course with his man Rhino. Rhino says The Sandman is a son of a bitch that sits at home and watched and cries over his crippled wife. He's the Television Champion and The Sandman will lose this match and go home the same man. A beer drinking, cigarette smoking, cane swinging son of a bitch that cries over his wife. Fuck it. He beat her just for fun. If Sandman wins, he takes everything from him and he'll have to kill him to take it away.

A recap of TNN events airs.

Match #2: Kid Kash vs. Bill Wiles w/ Elektra
Another decent Kid Kash showcase. All his stuff looks good, but Wiles is still mostly useless. Kash hits a Huracanrana with a sloppy cover after for the win. Joey points out that Kid Kash has been undefeated for a long time now.
*3/4

Match #3: Rob Van Dam vs. Little Guido

Fonzie and the FBI are on the floor. This is your token Rob Van Dam showcase. It's a lot of fun and very good, but not quite great because it's an overly long festival of spots where the opponent never looks like they have a legitimate shot at a victory. Sal and Guido have some fun double teams but RVD wins with the top rope Van Fuckinator and the Five Star Frog Splash.
**1/4


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