| Simon Watches WWE - 2013 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Apr 20 2014, 06:42 PM (16,505 Views) | |
| Big Tuna | Jun 24 2014, 02:10 PM Post #181 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown November 8th, 2013 Charlotte, NC TONIGHT: BRYAN VS. HARPER CM Punk comes out to open the show, and he challenges the Wyatt Family to a fight. Curtis Axel comes out instead and says he wants to fight CM Punk for what he did to his manager. Vickie comes out and makes it because fuck everything. Match #1: CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel For what feels like the millionth time but is probably only the fifth or sixth time, this happens and that is the best way to describe it. Punk tried on Raw, but that's enough for this week apparently, especially considering that it's not like anyone's going to be able to get an actual great singles match out of Curtis Axel. Punk briefly gets distracted by the Wyatts' music, but it stops, and Punk wins with the GTS. ** On the big screen, Bray Wyatt laughs. Match #2: The Usos/R-Truth vs. 3MB Truth is there to piggyback some points off of the Usos' usually good showcase match routine in his hometown. Since it's his hometown, he gets to beat and hinder Jinder with the Black Finisher. *1/4 Match #3: AJ Lee/Tamina vs. The Funkadactyls This gets sort of actual time and there's a decent control segment on Naomi before Cameron comes in drop a fall. AJ makes her tap to the African-American Widow. *1/4 prior to the match, ADR cut an in-ring promo in which he said World Heavyweight Champion John Cena was a thief and stole the title from him; moments later, Cena interrupted and offered ADR a title rematch then and there; ADR agreed and called for a referee and doctor, since he would send Cena back to the hospital; Vickie Guerrero then appeared at the entrance stage, said the match would happen at Survivor Series and gave both men matches since they were disrespectful to her - Cena vs. Ryback and ADR vs. Khali FUCK YOU VICKIE Match #4: Alberto Del Rio vs. The Great Khali This goes five minutes for some reason, as Khali gets to do actual things before ADR does stuff. ADR wins with the Cross Armbreaker and SENDS. A. MESSAGE. 3/4* Match #5: Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper w/ The Wyatt Family This is almost great, to the surprise of nobody. They get like Bryan sells his hurt arm and chest for a lot of this, and Harper is the best big man in the company. Everything he does looks super super nasty and mean, and Bryan's comebacks are the best. He gets the Tope going into the commercial, kicking, etc. They cut it off with Wyatts interference for the DQ as it's starting to come to a finishing run though, unfortunately. **3/4 Post-match, CM Punk comes out to save with a chair. The closing segment of Raw re-airs. Match #6: John Cena vs. Ryback This is the longest match of the night, because Smackdown is expertly designed to be a terrible show it seems at times. They have their usual bullshit pedestrian match that we've seen a million times and Cena wins with the FU. Everyone goes home happy, and at least nobody good like Cesaro had to take the L this time. Just wish it would have been shorter, since nobody actually thinks Ryback has a shot or even matters. *1/2 Post-match, ADR attacks Cena, but Cena runs him off. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 24 2014, 08:22 PM Post #182 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Raw November 11th, 2013 Manchester, England It's announced that The Authority is taking a vacation this week. Randy Orton comes out and says he's running Raw as the WWE Champion this week. Brad Maddox comes out and says he's the General Manager, so it's actually his job. Kane comes out and says it's his job. Maddox tries to book Orton vs. Cody Rhodes, and Kane says it's actually going to be Randy against Goldust. Vickie Guerrero comes out and says she can be the voice of reason and it's a handicap match! This is a mess of unnecessary GM level people, but at least they're all fired now. Match #1: Randy Orton vs. DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS Orton does his best to make this boring as he very slowly stomps his way through a control segment on Goldust for a few minutes. Cody then gets the hot tag and Orton cannot make this boring any longer. He has a good hot tag and both Rhodes clothesline Orton out, but he just takes the count out instead. ** Post-match, The Big Show comes out and beats Randy up. He then Chokeslams him through the announce table in revenge. After the break, Show leaves in a taxi. Before the next match, 3MB comes out as the Union Jacks. ![]() Match #2: 3MB vs. Santino Marella/Los Matadores w/ El Torito Decent three minutes of comedy. The masked men and then the midget did come dives and Santino pulled out a cobra with horns and hindered Jinder with the Cobra for the win. *1/2 included a backstage segment in which Brad Maddox apologized to WWE World Champion Randy Orton for what happened to him, with Vickie Guerrero appearing as well and also apologizing; Orton yelled at them and said they would have to answer the next week when Triple H & Stephanie McMahon were back; Kane then came in and said if Orton kept mouthing off then Big Show wouldn't be Orton's only problem Match #3: Damien Sadnow vs. Kofi Kingston Sadnow tries to be aggressive but it doesn't really work, because he's such a fucking jabrone. Kofi tries to get intense back, and this looks embarrassing for both of them. Kofi does the WOAT Shadows Over Hell and Sandow wins with an even jobbery finisher in a fucking Half Nelson Slam. God, that wasn't even good enough to be Test's finisher. You're more plain and generic than fucking TEST. 3/4* Match #4: Curtis Axel [c] vs. Dolph Ziggler [WWE Intercontinental Championship] God damnit. Of course he has to put this fucker over. Ziggler gets the best actual title defense of Axel's that I can remember. It's not amazing and only like eight minutes and a lot of that is Axel's super routine and pedestrian control stuff, but the finishing run and opening are pretty good. Axel wins with the McGillicutter II. **1/4 featured a backstage segment in which Maddox and Kane argued before they agreed that World Heavyweight Champion John Cena would face Jack Swagger & Antonio Cesaro and CM Punk & Daniel Bryan would face WWE US Champion Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, & Roman Reigns In the back, Zack Ryder shills merch. Match #5: Tamina vs. Nikki Bella Both AJ and LTB are on the floor. This gets four minutes because they want a lot of in-ring stuff on these overseas shows, but hate actual wrestling so they just throw out a ton of 4 minute matches. AJ interferes and Tamina hits a beautifully nasty boot and then the Dad Splash to win. The crowd chanted "ECW" during this, because England is horrible. 1/2* Post match, LTB runs the heels off. Match #6: Tyson Kidd vs. Fandango The women are on the floor, and this is another really short and mediocre one. Fandango blocks a sunset flip into the ring and grabs the ropes to steal the win. *1/4 In the back, The Shield goes into the trainers room to talk to Orton. Orton asks where the hell they were and yells at them, and they all look annoyed. Ambrose says it's none of his business where they were. Rollins says they don't work for Vickie or Maddox or Kane, and Reigns says they damn sure don't work for him. Rollins says to feel better, and they walk off. Zeb Coulter gets the mic on the way to the ring again, and says today was Veteran's Day in the US and they know that they're in foreign land tonight. It's a land full of imperialists, soccer thugs, bad food, and evil monarchs. Plus, it's full of people who actually found the antics of Mr. Bean hilarious. If real Americans ran this country, it would be in a lot better shape. It used to be said that the sun never sets on the British Empire, and now the sun never rises on it. Please rise, put your hand over your heart, and say in recognition of a superior nation. WE THE PEOPLE. Match #7: John Cena vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter ADR again comes down to say nothing of value on commentary. There's again some great Cena/Cesaro exchanges. Indy Cena is here as he breaks out a half nelson lift into a Neckbreaker. Cesaro does all his cool stuff, and Swagger does all his boring stuff. Cesaro gets to do enough to make this average, and Swagger gets in at the end to drop the fall, as they're seemingly starting to care more about protecting Cesaro. Swagger taps to the STFU. **1/2 Post-match, ADR attacks Cena's arm with a chair. He puts the Cross Armbreaker on him in the chair. Referees can't get him off of Cena, but Big E. Langston comes out to save and throws him out. MAIN EVENT: AJ/NATALYA FOR THE TITLE! Guess they finally remembered Main Event can have interesting matches featured a backstage segment in which Alberto Del Rio, Kane, Maddox, and Vickie spoke about ADR's attack on Cena, with Kane suggesting ADR do to Big E Langston what he did to Cen Match #8: Ryback vs. R-Truth THIS IS ALSO HORRIBLE. THIS ENTIRE SHOW IS WWE HATEFUCKING EUROPE. Truth wins with a roll up. 1/2* Match #9: Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E. Langston FOUR MINUTES AGAIN. This is ADR SENDING. A. MESSAGE.,but Langston is good enough to make this not a total waste by taking huge bumps and looking great on offense. ADR then puts on the Cross Armbreaker to win. *3/4 ON SMACKDOWN: CENA/ADR ARM WRESTLING CONTEST BECAUSE THIS SHOW DOESN'T MATTER prior to the bout, Paul Heyman, in a wheelchair and neckbrace, alongside WWE IC Champion Curtis Axel, cut a promo saying he blamed the fans for what happened to him at the hands of Punk and would return to get his revenge on Punk; Heyman then said he wasted his time with Ryback; moments later, Punk came out, fought off Axel on the floor, and spun Heyman around in his wheelchair before shoving him out of it; Punk then repeatedly struck Heyman over the back with a kendo stick Match #10: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. The Shield In the most obvious outcome ever, a Bryan vs. Shield tag is great. It's 10-11 minutes before something amazing breaks out, but you have all the trademarks here. Bryan's hot tags, Punk putting in effort and having a few great little moments, awesome Ambrose selling, etc. Reigns looks the best he has yet in the control segment between great bumping and selling, awesome shit talking, and a few wonderful cutoffs. Punk is about to put Ambrose into the Anaconda Vice, but the lights go out, and the match is basically over. *** THEY COME BACK ON, AND HARPER AND ROWAN ARE IN THE RING. BRAY IS ON THE FLOOR, BUT PUNK SHOVES ROLLINS INTO HARPER! Punk and Bryan roll out and Rollins and Harper yell at each other. Ambrose tries to calm it down, but he gets into it too. Rowan and Rollins both feign trying to get their partner to back off, AND THEN HARPER AND AMBROSE RUN AT EACH OTHER! THE FIGHT IS ON AND IT IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST. BRAY AND ROMAN FIGHT ON THE FLOOR AND INTO THE RING! They stop it and Bray says they have a common enemy and all six attack Punk and Bryan. THE USOS COME TO SAVE! DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS COME OUT TOO, AND THE FACES CLEAN HOUSE TO END THE SHOW! HORRIBLE SHOW, BUT DAT FINAL 15-20 MINUTES. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2014, 12:20 AM Post #183 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE NXT November 13th, 2013 Orlando, FL Match #1: Summer Rae/Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte/Bayley This is a set up to the angle at the end, so it's not much. Bayley is beat up and then goes to tag in Charlotte, but she gets slapped. Charlotte comes in and hits the Basement Diamond Dust, and Sasha covers to win. 3/4* Post-match, Charlotte leaves with the BFFs. BOO YOU WHORE. In the back, Aiden English does vocal warm ups. Match #2: Aiden English vs. Camacho Another good one here. Camacho has good basic power stuff, and then Aiden hit the Take a Bow out of nowhere to win. *1/2 Post-match, Aiden does an encore. Regal gives a standing ovation, and the fans throw roses. Match #3: Mason Ryan vs. Danny Burch Waste of Burch. Mason wins with STRONK moves. 1/4* Match #4: Adrian Neville vs. Corey Graves [Best Two of Three Falls] This also gets actual time to be a real match at 10-15 minutes. I like this trend. Neville swarms on him fast and hits the Red Arrow to go up one. Graves then works on his knee and evens it up with Lucky 13 for the tap out. Graves stays on it with some decent knee work. Graves survives the Lucky 13 this time and counters an attempt at it for a third time into a cradle to win. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2014, 01:28 PM Post #184 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown November 15th, 2013 Manchester, England TONIGHT: PONK/BRYAN VS. RYBAXEL Match #1: The Usos vs. The Wyatt Family w/ Bray Wyatt Bryan/Punk vs. Wyatts is announced for Survivor Series. This gets under ten minutes, but due to his experience and CHIKARA being weird with their booking towards him, Harper is used to under ten minute matches, and it's great. Lots of nasty nasty strike battles between the Usos and Harper. The Usos take some awesomely reckless bumps too, further earning my love. Awesome awesome hot tag and a nearfall playing off their last match. One Usos hits the dive onto Rowan and the other tries one onto Harper, but he gets on the apron and forearms them in the air. He then follows with the Discus Lariat to win. *** Post-match, Wyatt hits the other one with Sister Abigail. He gets the mic and says at Survivor Series, they will put the venom into their veins, and they will never forget the tragedy. He advises CM Punk and Daniel Bryan to run. In the back, Axel talks to Ryback. He says neither of them are Paul Heyman guys anymore, but maybe they need each other tonight. Match #2: Natalya vs. Tamina w/ AJ Lee This is all of a minute before Nattie wins with the Shartshooter. 1/2* Hey, let's watch Big Show lay out Orton again. featured a backstage segment with Brad Maddox and Vickie in which Maddox said Vickie would feel the wrath of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon for putting WWE World Champion Randy Orton in the handicap match on Raw Match #3: R-Truth/The Prime Time Players vs. 3MB THE UNION JACKS ARE HERE AGAIN FUCK YEAH! Another three minutes that is generally okay. Truth beats Slater with Black Finisher. *1/4 included an in-ring segment in which Alberto Del Rio challenged World Heavyweight Champion John Cena to an arm wrestling contest, adding that ADR was the greatest Mexican wrestler; moments later, Cena came out to a mixed reaction and accepted the challenge, and easily beat ADR with his other arm; ADR challenged Cena to another contest, then sucker punched him and targetted Cena's injured arm; Cena attempted fighting off ADR but was put through the table that was set up inside the ring; ADR then took off his shirt and laid it across Cena's body Match #4: The Bella Twins vs. The Funkadactyls This is pretty terrible. Naomi isn't in until the last thirty seconds of a four minute match, so you get Cameron vs. The Bellas, and oh my god, no. Awful. Naomi gets in at the end and wins with the Rear View on LTB. ASS POWER. 1/2* In the back, Renee interviews Punk and Bryan. They double YES's at all her questions and Bryan says there's nobody the Wyatts can't beat 3 on 1, but with the Beard and the Best, it's a whole different ball game. Punk says Bray doesn't like that, and he has a very frightening family. But the easiest way to kill a snake is to cut off his head, and they're coming for Bray Wyatt. Match #5: The Great Khali vs. Hunico/Camacho FU -- nevermind, it's Khali. God damnit. Another one minute squash and he beats Hunico with the Tree Slam. 1/4* RAW REBOUND. Match #6: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. Rybaxel This happens. It's not Punk or Bryan's fault and they manage to get the best Rybaxel tag yet, but holy shit, it's Curtis Axel and Ryback teaming up, there's no way anything interesting or memorable or even worth mentioning happens when they're in control, so half this match is a massive waste. Bryan gets Rybork in the Yes Lock, but then the Wyatts come down with the lights going out and the match ends. ** Coming back on, the Wyatt Family is all in the ring, but Punk and Bryan are just gone. They beat up Ryback and Axel for a while, BUT PUNK AND BRYAN COME FROM UNDER THE RING! THEY KNOCK HARPER AND ROWAN DOWN WITH KICKS AND RUN BACK AWAY! |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2014, 06:38 PM Post #185 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Raw - RAWCORE COUNTRY November 18th, 2013 Nashville, TN included an opening in-ring promo by Triple H & Stephanie McMahon in which they spoke of the chaos that was part of the previous week's show because they weren't around; moments later, WWE World Champion Randy Orton stormed out to the ring and blamed the two for what happened to him the previous week at the hands of the Big Show; as Triple H and Orton came face to face, Vickie Guerrero and Brad Maddox appeared at the entrance stage and Maddox blamed Vickie for the previous week; Triple H and Stephanie then announced Vickie would face WWE Divas Champion AJ and Maddox would be in the opening contest against Orton in a No DQ match; Kane then appeared at the entrance stage behind Maddox and Vickie Match #1: Randy Orton vs. Brad Maddox [No Disqualification Match] MADDOX GETS A LUCKY SHOT WITH A MIC! YEAH! Orton then comes back and kill him. Maddox takes a brutal beating and takes the barricade DDT. Orton then hits Maddox with the mic like 15 times in a row and the referee stops it. *1/4 Post-match, Braddox is stretchered out. Match #3: Curtis Axel [c] vs. Big E. Langston [WWE Intercontinental Championship] FINALLY. It's a decent four and a half minutes or so. Axel sort of puts in effort now that he's finally losing the title, and Big E. is again an awesome power guy. He wins the title with the Big Ending, and our long national nightmare is over. ** In the back, Randy Orton talks to The Shield and says they should have an understanding now that they have his back. Reigns says if that's what The Authority wants, then fine, but then he better have their back too. Orton nods and quickly leaves. Instead of as many replays this week, they're playing horrible country songs. featured Jerry Lawler hosting an in-ring segment of musical chairs with the divas; after a few divas were eliminated, a brawl began TONIGHT: SHIELD/WYATTS VS. PUNK/BRYAN/DFRB/USOS Match #3: The Big Show vs. Ryback This is not good. They get five or six minutes and BIG MAN POWER FIGHT has never been less interesting or dynamic. Ryback makes with the chinlocking and leg work that he himself forgets about it. Big Show kicks out of Shellshocked and then wins with the JO Punch to win. *1/4 Post-match, Orton tries to sneak down, but Show just Spears him and Orton bails. In the back, Orton freaks out at the trainer and yells asking where his back up was. Before the next match, Shield/Americans vs. Usos/DFRB/a mystery partner is announced for Survivor Series. Match #4: The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter vs. The Miz/Kofi Kingston This is the beginning of the horribad Miz/Kofi sort of feud that gets abandoned because they need Miz to be a face to promote some bullshit TV movie. Cesaro does a few things, but this is mostly Swagger vs. Miz and Kofi, and NOPE. AWFUL. SWAGGER/KOFI STILL SUCKS DICKS. Miz jumps down off the apron when Kofi tries a tag, and Swagger gets the Patriot Lock for the win. 3/4* In the back, Vickie tries to fake an injury. prior to the match, there was a backstage segment in which Vickie was on a stretcher and Stephanie McMahon said Vickie should be taken to the hospital, right after her match; Vickie then screamed as she was wheeled to the ring strapped to the stretcher Match #5: AJ Lee w/ Tamina vs. Vickie Guerrero A year later, AJ finally gets her physical revenge on Vickie. Vickie runs away for 90 minutes and then AJ puts on the Black Widow to win. 45/Poop Another match is announced for Survivor Series, as it's Total Divas vs. everyone else. In the back, Triple H books Sandow and Ziggler in a Broadway Brawl and says to go make it entertaining. Match #6: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sadnow [Broadway Brawl] This is the match with a ton of musical instruments as weapons, and it has some fun moments. But it's only eight minutes and 3-4 of that is Sandow slowly and half-assedly stomping and shoulderblocking and chinlocking his way through a control segment. There's a drum set spot and Ziggler breaks a guitar on Sadnow's head. AND HE DOES THE FARGO STRUT BEFORE COVERING TO WIN. YES. **1/4 In the back, Orton complains to H and Stephanie about nobody helping him. He demands to know if he has their confidence as the face of the WWE. Stephanie says they were talking about that, and they need to think about it. included an in-ring promo by Cena in which he discussed the recent attacks on his arm by Alberto Del Rio and defending the title in front of his family in Boston at Survivor Series; moments later, ADR interrupted and teased that he would take advantage of Cena's injured state, with Cena revealing his injury was a fake and cleared ADR to the floor Match #7: R-Truth/Xavier Woods vs. Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal w/ Heath Slater OH GROSS. THIS FUCKING MOPE IS HERE. Drew tries, but this is simply not going to be any good. Woods wins with his horrible Sole Food. 3/4* Post-match, Truth and Woods dance. In the back, Orton goes back to the office and says he deserves more respect as champion. Triple H says he has to prove that he actually deserves the title this time, and says he's on his own against The Big Show this Sunday. Florida-Georgia Line performs and nobody really cares. Match #8: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan/DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS/The Usos vs. The Shield/The Wyatt Family This gets 15-20 again, and it is great. Seriously, really awesome stuff, and the only major flaw is that Goldust wasn't in this very much. There's a good control seg on Cody, and then Bryan has a sweet hot tag. They change some stuff up, AND HARPER CATCHES THE CORNER DROPKICK AND HITS A LIGER BOMB TO CUT HIM OFF! AMAZING! They have a great control segment on Bryan with all the nasty little Ambrose moments and Reigns cut offs. Punk has a good hot tag and tries sort of hard, and the effort of all the heels is enough. They break it down into the huge ass finishing run with huge offense and Usos dives, and Punk beats Ambrose with the GTS. ***1/4 The Real Americans come out to attack due to their involvement, but Rey Mysterio returns to save, and is the fifth man. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 25 2014, 09:41 PM Post #186 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE NXT November 20th, 2013 Orlando, FL Match #1: Hunico/Camacho vs. Two Jobbers FUCK YEAH MY DUDE HUNICO IS BACK. They immediately win with a Samoan Drop followed by a Senton Bomb. FUCK YEAH Post-match, Hunico says The Ascension knows why they're here. Bo Dallas comes back to return from his vacation and balloons and streamers come down. He says there's no place like home and for the past month, he's been on the tour and everybody loves Bo. JBL comes out to the ring and shakes his hand and says on behalf of the company, they're so proud of him and he is the face of NXT. Sami Zayn comes down to the ring and JBL says there's a reason he suspended him and he needs to learn respect. Sami says he meant no disrespect and all he wants is to be reinstated so he can take the NXT Title off that delusional cheeseball. JBL reinstates him because it's best for business, and Bo congratulates Sami on coming back, but they already did this and he won. Sami says not to patronize him and he'll work his way up, but the next time it's the two of them, he's taking that title. JBL says opportunity is one win away, and he's having a Beat the Clock Challenge to determine the new #1 Contender, and his match is tonight. Match #2: Alexander Rusev w/ Lana vs. Colin Cassidy [Beat the Clock Challenge] Big Cass is on his own now as Enzo has been hurt, but he impressed. He had some great Jeff Jarrett style stepping forward uppercuts. Rusev's stuff all looked awesome, and in one of those cool moments of hindsight, Colin Cassidy is currently the only one I can think of to not only survive The Accolade, but actually break free from it. A little later on though, Rusev gets it back on for the win. ** TIME TO BEAT: RUSEV, 5:33 In the back, new interview lady Devin Taylor interviews Bayley about being turned on last week. Bayley says she doesn't know why Charlotte did what she did, and they were best friends like Spongebob and Patrick and now they're not. She taught Charlotte how to pogo stick and they did the robot together. She says that when she finds her, these bad boys are gonna do all the talking. She then dusts off her fists and apologizes if that scared Devin, and shows her how to do the robot. Bayley is the best. Match #3: Tyler Breeze vs. Kassius Ohno [Beat the Clock Challenge] Oh, I guess he stuck around to do a few more jobs then. Cool. This is decent enough for the time it gets. Breeze looks good on offense but it's pretty basic and I know he and Ohno can do more than this. They have a really good run of rollups and counters in the final minute or so, and it ends when Ohno gets a cradle sunset flip for the win! WHOA! FUCK YEAH! ** TIME TO BEAT: OHNO, 4:48 Match #4: Adrian Neville vs. Aiden English [Beat The Clock Challenge] This is very much a match that happens. Pretty routine stuff and nothing really stands out compared to the last two matches. Neville pulls off the Red Arrow and gets the pin with a few seconds remaining. *3/4 TIME TO BEAT: NEVILLE, 4:45 Match #5: Sami Zayn vs. Leo Kruger [Beat the Clock Challenge] The real shame is that this is only 4:45, spoiler there. They work super super well against each other. Bo Dallas comes out to watch to try and distract Sami. It doesn't work, and the two of them kill it. Kruger hitssuper hard and Sami does all the wonderful highspots his trainer passed down to him. Sami gets a cradle out of a pin and pins Krueger right as the clock hits zero. **1/4 JBL comes out and says it's a tie, and books Zayn/Neville next week and then in two weeks, the winner fights Bo Dallas! |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 26 2014, 04:36 PM Post #187 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel, Since 6/16/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown November 22nd, 2013 Atlanta, GA TONIGHT: USOS/REY VS. THE SHIELD Match #1: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS [c] vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter [WWE Tag Team Championship] This is the inevitable match DFRB were going to have. It's a curse Cody has that he's a very good wrestler teaming with an all-time great. He can have a really good hot tag that compares well enough to Goldust's, but when he tries to do an FIP run, it really comes out lacking. Swagger is super lazy and boring tonight, so that didn't help, and Cesaro didn't really get in until the second half. Goldust has a killer hot tag though and almost makes this great, but holy shit that Swagger control segment absolutely happened. Lots of good counters and twists and turns, and Goldust beats Swagger with the Final Cut. **3/4 Ryback comes out to get on the mic. He says he's been a bully all his life and he enjoys it. Great Khali comes out for a match. Fuck this show. Match #2: Ryback vs. The Great Khali This is a thing that happens, again. Shellshocked gives Rybork a win. 1/2* In the back, Vickie gets revenge on AJ and books her vs. The Funkadactyls tonight under the guise of showing her team at Survivor Series why she's the captain. Match #3: The Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee w/ Tamina This is a thing. It's only two minutes and half of it is AJ running away. Tamina takes out Cameron on the floor and AJ briefly controls. She knocks Cameron off the apron, but Naomi hits AJ with the Rear View for the win. 1/2* In the back, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo. He says when he closes his eyes, he sees memories that are not his own, but it made him see that the world needs less revolutionaries and more revolutions. How could you possibly understand what people like CM Punk and Daniel Bryan do? People look at them like mythological beings, but they are but men (rock!). They don't have the power to lead to the world to some mythical promised land that does not exist. His sings that his father told him when he was a child that the meek shall inherit the earth one day. They are the reapers. Walking upright. Guided by her hand. Follow the buzzards. Match #4: The Usos/Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield Not quite great, as it's only eight minutes and they had a little bit of a rough start, but very very good. Usos vs. Ambrose isn't as compelling, but once The Shield took over, it got good. Rey had a really nice hot tag, and everything broke loose. Roman hit Spears on both Usos, but Rey then rana'd Roman out. Rollins dove onto the Usos on the floor, but then Rey hit Ambrose with a 619 and the Penguin Splash to win. **3/4 Post-match, Reigns and Rollins don't look happy with Ambrose. Being fair, they probably could have come in to save, it's not like either of them were super badly hurt. There's a Big Show/Orton segment. There's no recap, but y'know, fuck it. Match #5: Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston vs. Damien Sadnow/Curtis Axel Axel gets his rematch at Survivor Series. This is all of two and a half minutes, but it's a solid showcase for Team Rocket. They have a natural kind of chemistry together, and even in 2014, they could easily become a contending team if the Wyatts end up winning the titles at MITB. Sadnow gets beaten with the Big Ending, and everything is right. *1/2 Axel tries a cheap shot, but Big E. runs him off. In the back, ADR says stuff. PERRO. GRINGO. DESTINY. NOBODY CARES. LEAVE. Match #6: Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper w/ The Wyatt Family Also only eight minutes. This isn't as good as their first match, but it's still good. Less stiff and violent in general, and more of just a big/little thing until the awesome finishing run. Harper again has the sweet catch of a kick into the Liger Bomb. IT also ends kind of abruptly too, as Punk comes down to stop interference and Bryan gets the inside cradle for the win. **1/2 Post-match, the Wyatts beat them both down. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 27 2014, 11:43 PM Post #188 |
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 ![]() WWE Survivor Seris 2013 November 24th, 2013 Boston, MA To open the show, The Authority comes onto the stage and say there will be no interference in any match tonight. Match #1: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS/The Usos/Rey Mysterio vs. The Shield/The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter [Elimination Match] This rules. Good Cody/Ambrose run early on, and then for some reason, Ambrose is out first instead of that useless oaf Swagger. Cody rolls him up for the elim a few minutes in. Usos have some dives and the Americans control Goldust for a little before DAT USOS HOT TAG. SWAGGER IS OUT AFTER THE FLYING SPLASH. AND NOW THERE ARE NO BAD PAIRINGS IN THIS MATCH. Cesaro has a great run on the Usos, BUT CODY GETS THE BRISCO ROLL OUT OF THE CORNER ON CESARO FOR THE ELIM AND IT'S 5 ON 2! Reigns vs. an Uso rules, and he eliminates Jey with a Spear. Cody hits Rollings with the Cross Rhodes, but Reigns made the blind tag, AND MOWS DOWN CODY WITH THE SPEAR FOR ANOTHER ELIMINATION! YEAH! Rollins then gets the other Uso with the Blackout, and it's Shield vs. Goldust/Rey. They do a control seg on Rey with some cut offs and Rey escapes the Buckle Bomb into a sunset flip on Rollins, AND REY ELIMINATES ROLLINS WHOA! He beats down Rey before leaving, and Goldust/Reigns is the best. Reigns gets the Spear to eliminate Goldust. Rey gets back in and immediately tries the 619, BUT REIGNS GETS UP AND CUTS IT OFF WITH THE SPEAR FOR HIS FOURTH ELIMINATION AND THE WIN. *** In the back, Orton complains to the Authority again about having no back up or respect, and Triple H asks what he wants and lists all his nicknames as a pep talk. Stephanie says to go prove it, and he sulks off. Match #2: Big E. Langston [c] vs. Curtis Axel [WWE Intercontinental Championship] This is a formality and ends up just being a five minute showcase for the new champ. Axel does a few things, but it's on a big stage, so he's terrified and it ends up being whatever. Big E. takes a big floor bump, but then comes back and he wins with the Big Ending. ** included a backstage segment in which WWE Divas Champion AJ insulted her Survivor Series team, with Kaitlyn questioning why any of the divas should trust AJ after everything she has done to them; AJ responded that all of her team members were overlooked for Total Divas but they could have their own show by stealing the show at Survivor Series Match #3: AJ Lee/Tamina/Kaitlyn/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Aksana/Rosa Mendes vs. The Bella Twins/The Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo [Elimination Match] This is a match that occurs. The parts with actual trained wrestlers or people who try hard like AJ, Kaitlyn, Aksana, Summer, Tamina, Alicia, Naomi, Natalya, etc. are alright but there's not a ton of that. Natalya and Nikki survive after Nattie eliminates both Tamina and then AJ with her Shartshooters. Nikki's name does not get announced with Nattie's as the winner, so now we have to hold this match again on Raw so Cena's fuck toy can hear her name on a microphone and pretend her life is important. *1/2 In the back, Randy corners Lil Naitch and randomly talks about how they're great friends and he needs him to be the best referee he can be. Randy asks if he gets it, and Charles "LTP" Robinson says he's going to do what the Authority said. TLC: DECEMBER 15TH! The pre-show panel talks about things. Mick Foley is there, probably complaining that he invented everything. Rybork comes out for an open challenge, BUT NAH. MARK HENRY'S BACK AND HERE TO ACCEPT. Match #4: Mark Henry vs. Ryback This is what Mania should have been in retrospect. It's still not GOOD because Ryback's idea of control segment offense is terrible stomping and clubbing. Mark Henry is also bald now. He still looks incredibly badass and the second baddest man alive next to Bork Laser but it's not QUITE as badass as his balding dreads look. Mark decides to cut off the clothesline with a sort of Crossbody that's the best, and then wins with the World's Strongest Slam. *1/2 More pre-show panel stuff. Booker says inane things. Bret Hart still can't speak well because he's a stroke victim and while that's not his fault or surprising, there's no reason he should still do stuff like this. Mick Foley then puts over Cena. Match #5: John Cena [c] vs. Alberto Del Rio [World Heavyweight Championship] This sure happens again. It's somehow worse. ADR decides that it would be a great swerve if he didn't work the arm in a match that was set up based around ADR hurting Cena's arm until like halfway through the match, and then do his laziest arm work of all time. It is a swerve, but it is terrible. Cena is again not super interested in selling anything really, and gets a "flash" FU for the win. Although an FU with a regular set up is more surprising than Cena countering a heel's finisher into the FU. *3/4 Michael Strahan is coming to Raw. Great. Match #7: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family w/ Bray Wyatt This got like sixteen minutes, so it was great. It's kind of a low level great because they let Rowan try his hand for once and it wasn't that good. But Punk was decent, despite not being near his best anymore, and Bryan and Harper were fantastic, as Harper continues to look like a top 10 guy in the company. Good control work on Punk, and then Bryan's hot tag is the best. Punk gets back in and they beat Harper with the GTS followed by The Knee. *** In the back, The Authority is with Cena and the trainer. They say Cena will be fine for tomorrow night. Orton comes in and is freaked out by Cena being there, and Cena says he's good to go and leaves. Orton asks why he was here, but they say nothing and Orton leaves. Hype video for the main event. Match #8: Randy Orton [c] vs. The Big Show [WWE World Heavyweight Championship] This happens, but it's only 11 minutes at least. They are not afraid to slow it way the fuck down and totally fail to live up to their surprisingly great match at Extreme Rules. The crowd shits a million turds on it with various BORING chants and repeated ones for Bryan. They do nothing to try and sway the crowd. Triple H, Stephanie, and Kane come out to distract Show from the stage, and Orton hits the flash RKO for the win. Terrible. *1/2 Post-match, John Cena comes out and holds up the title in Orton's face for a long ass time and Orton does the same to end the show. NO. GOD DAMNIT STOP. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 30 2014, 02:53 AM Post #189 |
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Raw November 25th, 2013 Long Island, NY R.I.P. MAD DOG VACHON TONIGHT: PUNK/BRYAN VS. ALL THREE WYATTS Randy Orton comes out to open the show and he gets on the mic. He demands an apology from everyone who thought he would lose the WWE Title and then introduces Stephanie and Triple H. H says they couldn't be any more pleased with his victory and when he handpicked him a decade ago, he knew he had the potential to be one of the greatest of all time. Stephanie says they gave him the motivation he needed and planted seeds of doubt so he would prove them wrong and rose above them to be victorious. Orton says he didn't need their help last night and he didn't need them to prove that he's the face of the WWE. The crowd chants for Bryan. H says there was no PHYSICAL interference. Orton says he can take care of himself and says he's the greatest of all time and nobody can take that away, and keeps biting the hand that feeds. John Cena comes out and says to listen to the folks here who chant for Daniel Bryan because they're sick of the BS. OR MAYBE BECAUSE THEY WANT DANIEL BRYAN. Cena says there's two champions and faces here, so they should end that and unify the titles. Stephanie says they've been talking about this and Orton asks if they were plotting yesterday against him. Triple H says to grow up, and they book the match for TLC in a TLC match. Match #1: The Shield vs. DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS/Rey Mysterio This was five minutes due to a commercial, but The Shield vs. DFRB is one of those pairings that can't be topped or fucked with. It's rare that a five minute match is actually great and hasn't been done much since the Attitude Era, but this was some Hardys vs. E&C level of natural fucking chemistry, so this was fantastic. They immediately go into a control seg on Goldust, and he has an amazing comeback. Cody kills it on the hot tag, and Rey comes in illegally to help with highspots. SPEAR ON REY. SPEAR ON GOLDUST TOO. FUCK YEAH. CODY HITS THE DISASTER KICK ON REIGNS. HE GOES FOR THE CROSS RHODES ON ROLLINS, BUT AMBROSE SNEAKS IN WITH THE HEADLOCK DRIVER FOR THE WIN! BELIEVE. *** included an in-ring segment of Miz TV in which Mike Mizanin introduced Michael Straham as his guest, with Titus O'Neil then coming out as Straham; after several minutes, "Straham" praised the work of O'Neil; moments later, the real Straham came out and announced Alberto Del Rio & Orton would face Cena & Show later in the show; Straham and Miz then had words, Miz challenged Straham to take a hiptoss; Straham then hiptossed Miz and did the same to O'Neil Ziggler/Sandow is tonight in a voting match. Match #2: Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. Rybaxel This MOK/Big E. tandem was awesome and another one of those great things WWE totally abandoned. It's basically a showcase/squash for them, and MOK beats Axel with the World's Strongest Slam. *1/4 TONIGHT: CENA/SHOW VS. ORTON/ADR IN A STATUS QUO CELEBRATION MATCH Match #3: AJ Lee/Tamina/Kaitlyn/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Aksana/Rosa Mendes vs. The Bella Twins/The Funkadactyls/Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo [Elimination Match] This happens again. It's not even a little good this time as it's much more rushed. This gets longer than the Shield match though, so what the fuck? Summer is eliminated last with the Big Titty Torture Rack and the Bellas and Eva Marie survive. Fuck everything. 1/2* The fans vote on a Hardcore Match. Sadnow says he is above this. Match #4: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sadnow [Hardcore Rules] This is also improved by having gimmicks to play with, but Sadnow is still Sadnow. Ziggler wears a Ryder shirt for a cheap pop. They have a few cool things and Ziggler tries real hard, but Sadnow just isn't good enough to have a great singles match in only eight minutes. Sadnow wins with a Full Nelson Slam onto a garbage can, because fuck Ziggler ever being treated like someone who matters again. **1/2 In the back, Erick Rowan gives Strahan a sheep mask. He puts it on and they stare at each other and then the camera. Rowan as a big simple idiot whose only TV watching is The View is incredible. In the ring, Renee Young introduces CM Punk and Daniel Bryan for an interview. Did they win their match last night? YES. Is tonight harder because now it's 3 on 2 against the entire family? YES. But is the silver lining that they finally get their hands on Bray Wyatt? YES. Is Bray Wyatt a false prophet? YES. Are they in LI? YES. Is it completely weird that Renee isn't asking the questions? YES. THEY ARE THE GOATS. THE GREATEST OF ALL TEAMS. Punk says tonight they have the entire family and normally people would quake in their boots, but what they do is beat the odds. Punk says handicap matches are The Authority's way of fixing a problem and they have a problem with the two of them. Good thinking, Triple H! Real creative! He says it doesn't matter who they face. The entire Family, Renee, The Dicks, The Bushwhackers, IRS, all the Russians, RNRX, MX, the Ring Crew Express (FUCK YEAH)! You can put Matt Classic and Colt Cabana on the team too, and it doesn't matter because they'll burn them all to the ground. Bryan says it's very clear that Bray Wyatt isn't done playing his games and he won't stop until he's finished them, but they will not let that happen. He asks Punk what time it is. CLOBBERING TIIIIIIME. YES. BEST PROMO. Match #5: CM Punk/Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family This gets 10 minutes and is great. Bryan does most of the work and we get a lot of Harper/Bryan again. Bryan flies around and Punk joins him for stuff like that too. There are two Tope Suicidas in this match, Harper throws a bunch of super nasty strikes, and Bray even gets in there a little bit. The match breaks down into a 3 on 2 with everyone in there and then the referee is a bitch and calls it. *** Punk is laid out with the Discus Lariat, and they hit Bryan with a bunch of stuff and then Sister Abigail. They take Bryan backstage. CM Punk goes out to save BUT ROMAN REIGNS CUTS HIM OFF OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE SPEAR. Ambrose and Rollins also sneak out, and they put Punk inside before they hit the Triple Powerbomb. Match #6: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston Terrible again! They do a bunch of "wrestling" and roll ups and it's super sloppy and embarrassing for them. Miz wins with a crucifix pin. 3/4* In the back, Mick Foley shills merch. He invented shilling merch. R-Truth introduces Xavier Woods, who is being loaned the Funkadactyls, because they are property. Match #7: Xavier Woods vs. Heath Slater Truth, The Funkadactyls, and the other 3MB dudes are on the floor. This blows, because Xavier blows. Slater didn't try because fuck Consequences Creed. Woods wins with Sole Food. 3/4* featured a backstage segment with Straham in which he signed footballs for the members of Total Divas before WWE Tag Team Champion Goldust appeared Match #8: John Cena/The Big Show vs. Randy Orton/The Big Show This totally happens. Longest match of the show at 12 minutes and they totally fucking waste it because all four of these guys are total pros at putting it in neutral and barely even showing up. ADR makes with the HEAD KICKING OF GENERAL UNEASE on Big Show and then Cena comes in and finishes this for good (please?) by making ADR tap to the STFU. *3/4 Post-match, Orton hits Cena with his belt and then holds up both titles. |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 30 2014, 01:46 PM Post #190 |
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE NXT November 27th, 2013 Orlando, FL TONIGHT: SAMI/NEVILLE IN A #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH Before the opener, Cesaro bullies Saxton for announcing him from Switzerland, so William Regal comes down and pulls Saxton to safety. Cesaro is not pleased. Match #1: Antonio Cesaro vs. Yoshi Tatsu Cesaro puts on an amazing squash. Awesome power spots, the swing, uppercuts, etc. Cesaro keeps staring at Regal while he destroys Yoshi. He does the best chinlock ever and then the Neutralizer for the win. ** Match #2: Bo Dallas vs. CJ Parker Hey, it's a nightmare match. It's exactly as poorly done and boring as you may expect. Bo wins with the Bodog. 1/2* Before the Ohno/Breeze rematch, Rusev runs down and jumps Ohno. He gets back in, but is hurt. Match #3: Kassius Ohno vs. Tyler Breeze I guess he's not gone yet, as he obviously puts Breeze over here and then Rusev. Breeze immediately hits the Beauty Shot for the win. GORGEOUS In the back, Sami and Neville say words to each other. Match #4: The Ascension vs. Hunico/Camacho Hunico and his bro now get eaten alive for most of this because we've gotta put over The Ascension. Hunico is still awesome and at least gets to do enough to put this match on the board. Hunico gets a cradle on Victor for the win, which isn't even worth being happy about because it just means there's a rematch where The Ascension wins. *1/2 A video airs on the European tour. I usually ignore these obvious videos but Kofi pronounces the country as Belg-i-yum. Match #5: Sami Zayn vs. Adrian Neville [#1 Contender's Match] This is obviously great. Some high flyers, the elite ones, are improved by WWE refining them somewhat. Guys like Evan Bourne and Sami Zayn and London and Kendrick. Then there is Adrian Neville. He was an awesome flippy guy as PAC, but they've taken that away and revealed that he's not really that great outside of it. He can do decent things on the mat and whatever, but he struggles to fill time as we've seen in 2014. However, Sami Zayn doesn't have bad matches and usually has great ones, so this is a killer spotfest. Tons of cool stuff that's spaced out so it all stands out. Neville wins with the Red Arrow, because they like to be withholding with the Sami Zayn push, despite him basically being the star of NXT. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 30 2014, 03:22 PM Post #191 |
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B-SHOWS RETURN WITH ACTUAL GOOD MATCHES Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler, Main Event (November 27th) This was great again. ADR continues to basically only put in effort in matches where he's both winning and has a good opponent. These two have some really great chemistry by now too, so there's a real ease to all the stuff they do, especially compared to some of their early 2013 matches where they struggled to really get it together. ADR controls for a little bit, and then both men take a ton of crazy bumps. Finish leaves a little to be desired too, but that's the only real problem here. ADR catches the Fameasser into a Powerbomb, and then wastes time pulling him up, only to then do his Cross Armbreaker takedown into the hold, and that gets the tap. Could have just put it on with him on the mat. *** |
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| Big Tuna | Jun 30 2014, 06:36 PM Post #192 |
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown November 29th, 2013 Uncasville, CT In the back, Vickie is having a Thanksgiving party. Fuck this. A food eating contest breaks out. Match #1: Mark Henry vs. Curtis Axel Big E. and Rybork are ringisde and this is another short one. Mark has some cool power spots as he hurls Curtis around, and then he wins with the World's Strongest Slam. * featured a backstage segment in which Bodus Clay confronted Xavier Woods and R-Truth about Woods taking his music and Cameron & Naomi, with Clay shoving Woods before Tensai appeared and calmed him down TONIGHT: DFRB VS. THE SHIELD FOR THE TAG TITLES In the ring, Renee Young brings out Randy Orton for an interviewer. She asks about the end of the match at Survivor Series and he says he begs to differ on a number of things, and says he wasn't knocked out and he has an iron jaw. He was playing possum, which is strategy, and he needed no help and all the Authority did was taint his inevitable victory. She then shows footage of the Orton/Cena segment on Raw, and asks about it. She asks if he felt betrayed or abandoned by The Authority or if he felt threatened by John Cena, so he just walks out of the ring and leaves. included a backstage segment in which WWE Divas Champion AJ and Tamina appeared at Vickie's post-Thanksgiving party, with the two eventually walking out after Vickie challenged them to a food fight; moments later, O'Neil beat Khali in the food eating contest; Vickie then said O'Neil would face Antonio Cesaro later in the show since he won the challenge For the next match, 3MB comes out to The Rockers' music and in pilgrim hats as THE PLYMOUTH ROCKERS. Match #2: Los Matadores/El Torito vs. 3MB Fun three minutes again. Drew briefly looks great again when he's in the ring and then El Torito does a bunch of awesome lucha spots. Drew is beaten with the Los Matadores Finisher. *3/4 Match #3: TEAM PAC MAN [R-Truth/Xavier Woods] vs. Tons of Funk w/ The Funkadactyls This is all of two minutes and whatever. Brodus is a dick and kills Woods with a Splash off the middle rope to win. 3/4* Brodus dances, and everyone else checks on Woods. A promo from the Wyatt Family airs. Bray says his visions come to him when he dreams. The show him mannequins posing as people, living in a world intoxicated by their own vanity. But they all see symmetry in beauty. He's felt the sharp teeth of society and he knows what's like to be thrown in some pit where everyone can point and laugh at him. But look at him, he grows stronger every day. LOOK DADDY, HE'S GOT HIS WINGS BACK. Nobody knows him better than he does, Daniel Bryan. He'll be safe with them. He'll enter the lion's den as a man, and will emerge as a monster. The accidental connection to the WrestleMania XXX promo video there is insane. Match #4: Antonio Cesaro vs. Titus O'Neil the Americans and D-Young are there. This is under two minutes and doesn't really get to be anything as Titus is selling how full he is. This is more of an angle than anything. Cesaro gets the Cesaro Swing, and D-Young attacks for the DQ. 46/Barf Post-match, Titus throws up in JBL's cowboy hat. He puts it on Cole's head and then throws up some on Coulter. RAW REBOUND! Match #5: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS [c] vs. The Shield w/ Dean Ambrose [WWE Tag Team Championship] This gets 15 minutes and is wonderful. It's the least of their three matches due to having more time and less shortcuts with either Dusty on the floor or the No DQ thing, but there's still a bunch of good stuff. Cody's FIP run isn't great, especially when it comes before a Goldust run, and he's still the best guy. Good finishing run with Rollins vs. Cody, and Goldust and Reigns kind of stay out of the way. It seems strange, but makes sense later. Ambrose interferes for the DQ. *** It's a 3 on 2, but CM Punk comes out to save! Vickie comes out and makes a six man! Match #6: CM Punk/DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS vs. The Shield This one gets around ten minutes, and is also good, but more of a set up for the third part of this wonderful last third of the show. Punk is probably the least of the dudes here, but he has a few nice things and generally stays out of the way in this one. There's a long control segment on Rollins, which was pretty cool. The Wyatt Family comes out to distract Punk, so The Shield takes over on him. Good stuff as usual. The Wyatts drag the champs off the apron away from the tag, and it's a DQ. **1/2 THE USOS AND REY COME OUT TO EVEN IT UP. TWELVE MAN TAG. FUCK YES. Match #7: CM Punk/Rey Mysterio/DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS/The Usos vs. The Shield/The Wyatt Family This is where everything breaks down and culminates, even if it's only eight minutes. Awesome Rey/Harper run before they control Rey for that part of the match. Rey is still a really good FIP and Rowan does surprisingly well isolating him. Punk gets the hot tag and does alright, and then it breaks down. Goldust gets the Spear, but Reigns is then double Superkicked. USOS DIVES ONTO HARPER, AMBROSE, AND ROLLINS! YEAH! REY SAVES PUNK FROM SISTER ABIGAIL WITH THE DROPKICK! Rey ranas Rowan into the ropes and in the best 619 set up sell ever, he just sits up against the ropes really organically, and Rey hits the 619 into the GTS from Punk to win. *** Because of the way it was split up, none of the matches themselves were more than low-level great, but them giving the last 40-50 minutes to the tag division like this was one of the coolest things in WWE in a while. Edited by Big Tuna, Jun 30 2014, 06:36 PM.
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| Big Tuna | Jun 30 2014, 11:45 PM Post #193 |
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Raw December 2nd, 2013 Oklahoma City, OK featured an opening in-ring promo by CM Punk in which he said it had to have just been a coincidence that he was attacked by the Shield the previous week, moments after he made a slight criticism to Triple H in the same program; Punk then said Triple H wasn't dense enough to pick a fight and called him a douchebag - which was edited from the show - before Stephanie McMahon interrupted from the entrance stage; Stephanie said she hoped Punk had a good Thanksgiving but she and Triple H were above name calling; she then called Kane out, which told Punk that the Authority had nothing to do with Punk's attack and the issue had been resolved; Punk then called Kane an ass kisser and questioned if he wanted to get knocked out or be put to sleep; WWE US Champion Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns then came through the crowd as Punk armed himself with a steel chair in the ring; Stephanie then said Punk was to be respected and admired before going backstage, with Kane saying Punk would face the Shield in a handicap match at TLC NEXT WEEK: THE SLAMMIES Big E. Langston comes out to do commentary on the #1 Contender's match for his title, next. Match #1: Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sadnow This one is only like three minutes, so whatever. Dolph tries, but it's after June 2013, so fuck him as far as booking goes. He loses to the Full Nelson Slam. I refuse to give it a name because it's not a real finisher. *1/2 TONIGHT: ORTON/CENA CONTRACT SIGNING Match #2: AJ Lee/Tamina/Summer Rae vs. Natalya/The Bella Twins This got 4 minutes, so they kind of got to try a real match. AJ spends most of the match skipping around the ring before she got in. The Bellas got rid of Big Momma Cool and then Nattie got a shitty looking cradle on AJ for the win. *1/4 Michael Cole explains that Bryan was dumped in an empty parking lot by the Wyatts last week after Raw. This also sees the debut of BAD NEWS BARRETT at ringside on the mic. He says he has some good news and bad news. The good news is that they are live on Monday Night Raw. The bad news is that they are in an arena full of hillbillies and overweight miscreants who had to name their city after their state just so they could remember it. He'll get there in time. included a backstage segment in which WWE World Champion Randy Orton confronted Brad Maddox and told him to tell the Authority that he should be declared the greatest WWE World Champion of this or any other generation Match #3: Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan w/ Luke Harper Rowan has his best singles match ever. Bryan tries to chop down the tree, but the distractions and the size of Rowan cut him off before he can get any traction. Rowan has some cool character-based offense. He's a huge swamp raised inbred dude who Bray forced into being a wrestler. So he does Bear Hugs and stomps and stuff a normal guy would do in a fight, and then later on, he tries to do stuff he's seen Harper do, but lacks the experience and it doesn't work as well. Bryan makes the sweet comeback, but Bryan escapes a press slam into a schoolboy for the win! *** Post-match, Bryan rolls out. Bray comes on the tron and tells his men to stand down. He says they won't hurt Bryan unless he tells them to. He tells him to understand that since he's been on this Earth, he's done a lot of horrible things to a lot of good people, and he's man enough to admit when he is in the wrong. He was wrong about him. He billed him as this minuscule creature facing a war he could never win and asks how long he's willing to live this lie, buying diamonds for his girlyfriend. He asks how long before they find out that his dirty little feet are soiling their red carpets. He sees him for what he really is, but they look at him like a circus clown, here for their amusement. He sees the monster in him. He understands that together, they can tear the walls off this place. Together, they can bring the machine to its knees. Open your eyes. In the back, Bryan bumps into Kane, who congratulates him. Kane says Bryan should have the same challenge his friend does, and books Bryan vs. all three Wyatts at TLC. Match #4: Team Pac Man vs. Tons of Funk w/ The Funkadactyls This blows again. Clay misses the splash this time, and Woods gets a cradle for the upset. 3/4* Post-match, Clay argues with everyone. TONIGHT: SHIELD VS. DFRB/SHOW Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara II YEAH HUNICO! He is a ton better than the last Sin Cara, because Hunico can actually work more than one style. He has a good dive and lucha spots, and then wins with a Senton Bomb. ** Clips air of Orton punting Cena's dad in the head in 2007. featured Renee Young conducting a backstage interview with World Heavyweight Champion John Cena regarding his upcoming match against Orton, with Cena noting the rivalry between Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, who held the respective titles in their time Match #6: The Shield vs. The Big Show/DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS This gets a bunch of time, so it's great. Cody is isolated first and while it's not the best thing, The Shield rule enough on offense to guide it through. Show has a hot tag, but is also shut down. Goldust has the best hot tag in the business yet again. DEM PUNCHES. He breaks out a Flying Huracanrana too, just because he can. Reign hits Show on the floor with a Spear, AND THEN CODY DOES A BIG ASS DIVE. Ambrose cuts off Goldust on the top ready to try his own, BUT GOLDUST HITS A SUPERPLEX INTO THE RING! AND ROLLINS IS A VULTURE AND GETS GOLDUST WITH A FOLDING PRESS RIGHT AFTER THE SUPERPLEX FOR THE WIN. *** Clips air of the Cena/Orton I Quit match. Match #7: Rybaxel vs. The Miz/Kofi Kingston I guess they made up. This is five minutes, so oh my god, it's awful. Super boring and bland and not anything approaching good at any point. Rybork beats Kofi with Shellshocked. 1/2* Post-match, Miz helps Kofi up and then slaps him. Match #8: Mark Henry vs. Fandango w/ Summer Rae Another good MOK squash. World's Strongest Slam ends it. *1/4 A recap airs of Titus puking on SD. Match #9: The Prime Time Players vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter This is alright. It gets six or seven minutes, but over half of it is Swagger. PTP again show flashes of good stuff, but it's been two years and they've yet to live up to potential, so fuck them. Titus sells maybe vomiting again a few times, but nothing happens. Cesaro gets in at the end and he catches Young coming off the top with the European Uppercut, and it's over right as it was getting better. *1/2 The Authority comes out for the contract signing and they bring out Orton and Cena. Triple H puts over the lineage of both titles and Stephanie mentions Triple H at the end of each of them. They guarantee one champion at the end of TLC and H says they waited until they had two A players as champions and could carry on as the face of the WWE. FUCK YOU, ALBERTO. Orton signs it first, and then Cena. Stephanie gives them the floor to speak about the match. Orton says some of the biggest names have held these titles and no matter how great they all are, he's better than all of them, including Hunter. BITING DAT HAND. Orton says that's why he chose him to be the face and neither of them likes John Cena very much. He's the only one capable of beating him and that's what he'll do in two weeks and he'll leave with both titles. Cena says he acts like they've never met and he's John Cena, World Champ. Orton says he knows who he is and they have history. Remember when he kicked his dad in the head? Since then, he's made a hell of a career destroying other people's dreams as the Apex Predator. Cena says to just shut up and says he sounds ridiculous and the only dream he's destroyed is Triple H's. 10 years ago, Triple H picked him, but he's never lived up to his potential. EVER. He doesn't fault Triple H because he saw the gifts they all saw. Nobody's ever had every gift like Orton does and he makes everything look easy, but he got cocky and got a bad attitude, and then he got lazy. He got the title yougner than anyone because he earned it and he had Hall of Fame mentors to learn from, but he kicked back, relaxed, and let some scrappy kid ruin his dream. He is not Randy Orton, he's never asked or demanded to be the face of the WWE, but he's just a guy who works harder than anyone else. Orton thinks he should be given opportunity because of his talents or his family name, and he can think in one hand and crap in the other, and see which fills up first. Randy was given his title, but he earned his. If he gets anything from him, he will earn it. Right now, he can leave or he can make a move and he can remind the crowd what a TLC match really is. They have a pretty solid fight with the weapons and then Cena puts him through a table with the FU. Cena holds up both titles to end the show. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 1 2014, 10:25 PM Post #194 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE NXT December 4th, 2013 Orlando, FL Match #1: Paige [c] vs. Natalya [NXT Women's Championship] Paige finally defends the title! They get to do some actual matwork, which is pretty great. It got kind of lethargic after that, but I suspect there was a lot of clipping. The commercial jumps from them even to them both super worn out. NXT's clipped 10 minutes from the Sami/Cesaro three falls match in August notably and probably others, so it makes sense that that's why that happened here. They sort of did stuff and Paige hit the Paige Turner to win. Would like a rematch that's all actually shown. ** In the back after last week, Cesaro is asked about Regal. He mocks a British accent and says not to stick his nose into his business, sunshine, because it won't end well for him. Leo Kruger comes and thanks him for what he did to him and he took him to a place he hasn't been to in a very long time, and he has a proposition for him. He has a match with Sami Zayn too, and he knows they have a past. Cesaro says he could talk to Zeb about him becoming a Real American if he does him a favor, and whispers something to Leo. They shake hands and Cesaro says it's been a pleasure. Match #2: Aiden English vs. Jobber With No Name Good Aiden squash again. Things are rough in a good way, and he wins with Take a Bow. *1/2 Post-match, Aiden gives an encore and is thrown roses. Antonio Cesaro comes out with the mic. He apologizes to Byron Saxton and asks him onto the stage. He comes onto the stage and shakes his hand. Cesaro says he lost his temper and apologizes in five different languages. He then makes Byron do the WE THE PEOPLE with him, but Byron doesn't say it until he's forced to, and doesn't mean it. Cesaro asks if this is a joke and he's making fun of him now. He rips off Byron Phillips' jacket and threatens him again and asks where Regal is. Byron doesn't know, so Cesaro slaps him and leaves. In the back last week, Kruger attacks Sami and says ta ta. Match #3: Leo Kruger vs. Tyson Kidd Holy shit, NXT is sticking with an angle from 10 months ago. Fuck yeah. Real good stuff for three mninutes here as Leo works on the knee. Sami Zayn comes out for a distraction and Kidd then gets a roll up for the win. *3/4 NEXT WEEK: SAMI/KRUGER Match #4: Bo Dallas [c] vs. Adrian Neville [NXT Championship] This is alright for 7-8 minutes. Bo does a control thing that I am positive I watched but cannot remember a single detail of. Neville bumped well and had a solid comeback. He gets his sweet Sydal dive with less grace and then does more stuff. Bo rolls out to avoid a Red Arrow, but Neville turns around and hits a Crossbody on the floor. That somehow warrants them doing a big double down and race back inside. Neville slides in, and Bo sees that and drops back to the floor and takes the count out loss to retain. ** |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2014, 02:34 AM Post #195 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown December 6th, 2013 Tulsa, OK Match #1: Big E. Langston vs. Fandango w/ Summer Rae Sadnow is on commentary. Showcase for the IC Champ, and he shows off a lot of quality big man offense again. Fandango also randomly has a few nice pieces of offense for the first time in 2013. Big E. comes back and wins with the Big Ending. *3/4 Post-match, Sad Now gets in the ring and stares down Biggie. TONIGHT: PUNK VS. A SHIELD MEMBER Randy Orton comes out, and he gets on the mic. He goes over the match at TLC and says he's not here whining but he's here to say that in ten days, he'll prove that he is the greatest superstar of this or any other generation. He's not the most likable of characters, but he doesn't like anyone here, in the back, and most definitely not John Cena. He says he likes and reveres Stephanie and Triple H and all they've done for this company. He says he takes some things they've done for him for granted, and he wants to publicly apologize for that and to The Authority. Daniel Bryan comes out and says he should apologize to people for impersonating a champion, and not once did he ever legitimately beat him. Just because he's been sidetracked, don't think he hasn't forgotten, and he's not done with him. Whoever wins at TLC is going to see Daniel Bryan waiting at the front of the line for a title shot. But since he's looking at the face of the WWE right now, he kinda feels like putting a knee into it, and challenges him tonight. Orton says no so Bryan starts the YESing. Orton just leaves. Match #2: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS vs. Rybaxel It turns out Rybaxel is so shitty that even Goldust can't get anything more than average from them for the four to five minutes this goes. They do a lot of stuff to Goldust and it is the least interesting control segment to happen to Goldust maybe ever. Cody gets in to do stuff and hits Rybork with the Disaster off the announce table on the floor. He climbs in and Axel gets a really poor looking inside cradle for the win to establish a contending team for a filler defense. Thank god they never run this match up again! ** Orton/Bryan is confirmed. Match #3: Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston Nah, fuck you. In the back, The Shield cuts a promo. Reigns says CM Punk wants to put The Shield to sleep, but he can't touch them. Rollins says they want to hurt CM Punk tonight, but not so bad that he can't make it to TLC where they can finish the job. So whoever faces Punk just has to remind the WWE Universe what happens when you don't believe in The Shield. Reigns says it's gonna take the baddest man in The Shield to take him out, and Ambrose says in other words, that's him. Reigns and Rollins are both shaking their head, but Ambrose walks away. Amazing. Match #4: CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose This wasn't QUITE great, but it was really good. They get 11 minutes and while it never reaches that next level, there was a lot of really nice little stuff here. Ambrose put on something like a Finlay or Greg Valentine type performance. Everything was methodical and deliberate and all the punches and knees were super super nasty. He worked on the ribs loosely (because he's a loose cannon and gets easily sidetracked with general violence if Punk fights back) and used arm holds in a way that put just as much pressure on the ribs too, so it worked. Punk sold alright and never really came back. There was a feeling I got that this wasn't the best they had in them and they were holding back some. Punk gets a high kick to block the Headlock Driver, and hits the GTS to win. **3/4 Match #5: Natalya vs. Tamina w/ AJ Lee AJ decides to join commentary again. This happens. Natalya gets a pin after Tamina misses the Dad Splash. * Match #6: Rey Mysterio/The Big Show vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter This is really good for only four minutes. Rey is one of the only people, along with Christian, who's ever really been able to get anything out of Swagger in repeated attempts, so it's only logical that the control segment on Rey is the best he's looked in years. Cesaro doesn't get to do a lot here besides eat the fall, unfortunately, although he had a really nice deadlift throw on Rey. He gets a Chokeslam and then Rey hits a Splash onto him off Show's shoulders for the win. **1/4 RAW REBOUND. During the next match, Michael Cole claims this is different than when the WCW and WWE Titles were unified by Chris Jericho in 2001, because this World Heavyweight Title has been around since 1905. This means that at some point, THE NWA TITLE BECAME THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE, DESPITE THE NWA TITLE STILL FUCKING EXISTING. LIKE THEY DIDN'T JUST PLUCK THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE OUT OF THIN AIR IN 2002. WHAT THE FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK. Match #7: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan This is a short one at only eight or nine minutes, so it's one of the least of their matches in 2013. Still though, there's a certain magic here as there is any time Orton faces a great wrestler and is forced/tricked into trying and actually using his prodigious abilities. Sort of a house show run of what they can do. Rowan and Harper come to distract Bryan, and Orton hits the RKO to win. **1/2 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2014, 05:54 PM Post #196 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Raw - THE SLAMMIES December 9th, 2013 Seattle, WA Match #1: Daniel Bryan vs. Fandango w/ Summer Rae Waste of Bryan, but it still ends up being the best Fandango match in a while because a Bryan showcase is better than most of the people Fandango faces. The commercial skips most of Fandango's usually middling control segment and comes back for the amazing comeback. Bryan wins with the Diving Headbutt and then Knee Plus. ** Post-match, Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on the tron. He says Bryan's unwillingness to comply is testing his patience. He doesn't wish to watch him suffer, but there is no such thing as a happy ending. He needs him to know that they're going to hurt him. Bad. And he doesn't care if it kills him, he's going to prove that Bryan is a monster just like him. And he will take all that pain away. Join them. Bryan NOs back in the ring. prior to the bout, the Road Dogg & Billy Gunn presented the LOL Moment of the Year to the Rock; moments later, Vickie Guerrero interrupted, accepted the award and said the award represented her beauty; after the match Match #2: Damien Sadnow vs. Santino Marella Hey, so this sucks. Sadnow wins with the Full Nelson Slam. 3/4* prior to the bout, WWE US Champion Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns presented the Doublecross of the Year award to Shawn Michaels; moments later, Michaels complained that he didn't win the award until he had been retired 4 years Match #3: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston Another really bad match in this feud. Great. Miz wins with a roll up holding the tights. 1/2* Post-match, Kofi hits the fucking kick. Eve comes back and presents Diva of the Year to the Bellas, because nothing is good about WWE in 2013 when it's something they can control. Match #4: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS/Rey Mysterio/The Big Show vs. The Real Americans/Rybaxel w/ Zeb Coulter This is a four way match at TLC. This proves that Swagger is better than Ryback, as Rey/Swagger is better than Rey/Ryback. This is generally average as Rybaxel and Swagger are not going to have a great eight minute match despite Rey trying real hard and Goldust/Cesaro ruling. Axel is beaten with the 619 and Penguin Splash. **1/4 Shawn Michaels is out next to present Superstar of the Year, AND DANIEL BRYAN WINS! YEAH! He comes out and stares down Shawn before taking the award. He says he couldn't have been a wrestler without Shawn Michaels, but if it weren't for Shawn, he'd be the WWE Champion. He says nobody wants him with this award in the back, but this is for the people and the people in Seattle, and says to wait for 2014. GO SEAHAWKS. Match #5: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara This gets longer now, but is generally the same quality. ADR is losing, so he's not really putting in any kind of effort. Lots of lethargic kicking and shitty punching, and not a lot of Hunicara highspots, unfortunately. Sin Cara gets a second upset on ADR with the Senton Bomb. ** prior to the match, Darren Young & Titus O'Neil presented Daniel Bryan with the Fan Participation Slammy Match #6: Brodus Clay vs. Xavier Woods All the usuals are ringside and Brodus wins in 40 seconds with a splash. Thanks for coming. 1/2* after the contest, Clay continued attacking Woods before Tensai held him back and Truth tended to Woods TONIGHT: CHAMPIONSHIP ASCENSION CEREMONY prior to the bout, Mike Mizanin announced Stephanie McMahon the winner of the Insult of the Year Slammy Match #7: CM Punk vs. Dean Ambrose w/ The Shield This was awesome. Best match Punk has had post-SummerSlam and the best singles match I've seen Ambrose in to this point in WWE. Punk did arm work early on, and Ambrose sold really well in transition, including using the turnbuckle to readjust his shoulder. Ambrose works the ribs really well and again has a lot of nasty shots. Punk sells much better here than he did on SD. Ambrose goes out to the floor when the others move in on Punk and he argues with them and says this is his. Rollins and Reigns walk to the back, and Punk ends up getting the GTS in the ring for the win. *** Post-match, Reigns comes back down and Spears Punk. A video airs on past WWE and World Champions. NWA World Champions, apparently. Not sure why they couldn't interview Brent Albright and Adam Pearce. prior to the bout, Mick Foley presented CM Punk with the Extreme Moment of the Year Slammy, with Punk then saying the fans should tune into the pay-per-view to see what he does to the Shield Match #8: The Usos vs. The Wyatt Family w/ Bray Wyatt This was only five minutes because of clipping, but this is a very good match up for everyone involved. The Usos do tags and take big bumps. Harper gets to be a monster against people who can trade shots with him. Usos get a big hot tag and then Rowan hurls one of them off the apron into the announce table. He gets Superkicked off the apron by the other, and Harper hits the Discus Lariat for the win. **1/2 prior to the bout, Bret Hart presented World Heavyweight Champion John Cena with the Match of the Year Slammy for his match with the Rock at WrestleMania 29; prior to the announcement, Natalya came out and hugged her uncle before going to the ring Match #9: Natalya vs. Tamina w/ AJ Lee This is like a minute long. Tamina runs into AJ on the apron, and Nattie then puts on the Shartshooter to win. 1/2* The Championship Ascension Ceremony is next. They have a bunch of former WWE and World Champions gathered in the ring and Stephanie says the pinnacle of all of these former champions is Triple H. Punk can't stop laughing and Ziggler has to look away from the camera. ![]() Triple H thanks everyone in the ring and says they all know about the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice that it takes to be champion. A massive "DANIEL BRYAN" chant breaks out as this is the real beginning of the fans openly revolting. It's not new (see: "CM PUNK" chants for all the Punk/Cena stuff last fall, the crowd booing both Rock and Cena going into this years' Mania), but it's never been this loud and distracting. Stephanie and Triple H look confused and put off, and Mark Henry raises Bryan's hand, before signaling either that he's dead or to cut it out. Triple H lamely says that's a lot of family for one building and says they all look just like him. He says this is an epic moment in history, etc., and brings out Orton and Cena. He has the thing lowered and they put them on the hook. The crowd keeps chanting for Bryan. The fact that it took another two months to figure out is insane. They have, in the ring, the representation of everything else the WWE Universe could chant for. Cena, Punk, Rey, even Orton or Hunter or Bret or Shawn, and they are completely rejecting that. Orton says he knows what John is capable of, but he also knows what he's not capable of. He claimed he had Ruthless Aggression, but he doesn't have it anymore because he didn't have the stomach to finish him last week, and he'll regret that after TLC. Orton says he didn't get lazy, and sometimes you lack motivation and get complacent when you're that much better, but he's motivated now by these two belts. "BORING" chants. Orton says image is everything to John Cena and of course he wants to be the face of the WWE, but he's going to be the man who lost the most important match ever. Orton says he's the greatest superstar of all time and says to look at these guys. He took years off of Mick's life. He's embarrassed Shawn Michaels, and if he was working in 1997, there wouldn't have been a Montreal Screwjob because he would have left Bret Hart unconscious. He says everything Cena has worked for is going to come crashing down. Cena notes the word work, and brings Bryan up to the forefront. Bryan says his name is Daniel Bryan, he's from Aberdeen, Washington, and Cena asks if his dad was a wrestler. His dad's a log scaler and Cena says he's had to WORK for everything he got. YES! That starts another wave of that. Cena says they cheer for him because he WORKS and earns it, and Orton's been given every single thing. Ever since he came to WWE training, he's been untouchable and bulletproof, because they liked him. Then he gets to the WWE and he gets sheltered by the best performer in the business, and he STILL hides behind Triple H and Stephanie, and he has the balls to stand here and say he's better than anyone in the ring right now. He's always blamed everyone for his failures and made exuses. He's had behavior problems in and outside the ring and the TLC match is the biggest in WWE history, but Orton wants them because maybe if he wins this match, he can say that he's finally what he was supposed to be ten years ago. These guys in the ring respect him because they know that he's earned everything. Ask Triple H and Shawn Michaels about him at WrestleMania. Ask Booker T. Hell, nobody wanted to give Dolph Ziggler a chance and he said he'll fight him. HOLD UP, THAT WAS GIVING HIM A SHOT? Nobody wanted to give CM Punk a shot on his last day in Chicago, but all he saw was the best in the world. THE ONLY LEGIT SHOT DANIEL BRYAN'S EVER HAD WAS AGAINST HIM, AND HE BEAT HIM! He says if he wins, Bryan's got a rematch, and they shake hands. Cena says that's what being a champion is all about and last week, all he wanted to do was make a statement that he can be just as brutal as him, and he's gonna make one more statement because he knows what this means. He says he'll be at his best and he hopes Randy is too, because he doesn't want any more excuses. They shake hands and the titles are raised. Orton cheap shots Cena, and they get pulled apart. Orton piefaces CM Punk away, SO PUNK HITS ORTON! YEAH! TRIPLE H THROWS PUNK BACKWARDS, SO PUNK GETS UP AND PUNCHES TRIPLE H! SHAWN HITS PUNK WITH THE SUPERKICK! BRYAN HITS SHAWN WITH THE SOLID KNEE PLUS! RKO - NO! BRYAN SHOVES ORTON OFF AND HE KNOCKS DOWN STEPHANIE. Orton checks on her, AND H PEDIGREES ORTON! FUCK YOU! Kane, Cena, and H help Stephanie up and Orton looks at all of them when he gets up and is convinced of some conspiracy. And the crowd chants "DANIEL BRYAN". |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2014, 07:17 PM Post #197 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE NXT December 11th, 2013 Orlando, FL Match #1: The Ascension [c] vs. Hunico/Camacho [NXT Tag Team Championship] This is now when they get fed to the Ascension. Hunico had some decent stuff like the Schoolboy Bomb, but he was mostly FIP. So it fell on Camacho to try and do cool hot tag stuff, and he just cannot. He loses to the Fall of Man, because fuck everything. *1/2 TONIGHT: ZAYN VS. KRUGER Match #2: Kassius Ohno vs. Alexander Rusev w/ Lana Now this is his last match, I'm positive. This is a pretty classic burial on the way out the door WWE match, as he gets maybe one elbow in for the entire match and is destroyed. It's not one of Rusev's better squashes either, for some reason. He wins with the Accolade, and Hero goes back home. *1/2 In the back, Natalya tells Bayley to relax tonight and says Charlotte is all bark and no bite. Hindsight is funny. Match #3: Natalya/Bayley vs. Summer Rae/Sasha Banks This is pretty short, and sort of happens. Bayley has an awesome Hugplex, and then Nattie gets in to be super average. Bayley gets back in and knocks Summer off the apron, but then Sasha hits her with Bankrupt to win. 3/4* Match #4: Mojo Rawley vs. Scott Dawson w/ Sylvester LeFort Dawson gives Mojo his best match yet. Lots of really nasty punches and forearms and general stomping before Mojo's comeback. He wins with Hyperdrive. *3/4 NEXT WEEK: THE ASCENSION'S OPEN CHALLENGE! BO/NEVILLE IN A LUMBERJACK MATCH Match #5: Sami Zayn vs. Leo Kruger This isn't nearly long enough (twss). It's only like four minutes and most of it is Leo on offense. He's pretty good, but you watch Sami matches to see his amazing comebacks and finishing runs, and he basically got eaten alive here for some reason. He gets a Crossbody in, but then Kruger blocks his Tornado DDT and hits The Slice for the win. ** Post-match, he tries it again, but Sami ducks and throws him out. He hits a dive, and they have a pull apart. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 2 2014, 08:30 PM Post #198 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE Smackdown December 13th, 2013 Portland, OR FUCK IT. FILLER EP. Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan - *1/2 -DQ finish and Bryan knocks Bray out of the chair with the Solid Knee Plus DFRB vs. Real Americans - **1/4 Mark Henry vs. Damien Sadnow - 1/2* AJ Lee/Tamina vs. The Bella Twins - 3/4* The Shield vs. The Usos - **3/4 The Big Show vs. Ryback - 1/2* Then there's more Cena/Orton individual mic work. WOO. |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 3 2014, 01:54 AM Post #199 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: John Cena, Since 10/27/2013 ![]() WWE TLC 2013 December 15th, 2013 Houston, TX Match #1: CM Punk vs. The Shield This is pretty good. It's not great because it's 2013 Punk in a match that's not really about any kind of story he can sink his teeth into, so he's working at maybe two-thirds speed and effort. Reigns injures his eye halfway through when he goes flying over the announce table. The control stuff on Punk isn't exactly amazing or anything, and he fights back on Ambrose and Rollins. He hits Rollins with the GTS and then Reigns gets back in. He runs for the Spear, but Punk moves and Reigns blindly hits Ambrose with it. Punk throws him out and pins Ambrose again to win. **3/4 In the back, Renee interviews AJ and asks if Natalya has her number. AJ says nobody has her number, because her number is 1. As in, the only one in this division that matters. She's been champion for 182 days, but that's not good enough for a Slammy because the Slammes, the Universe, and the cast of Total Divas are all jokes, and she's going to be the only one laughing anymore. Match #2: AJ Lee [c] w/ Tamina vs. Natalya [WWE Divas Championship] These two work really well together, but Nattie is one of those wrestlers that needs at least 10 minutes to have a great match, and they don't get quite that at only six minutes. So they skip a lot of the legwork and foundations for a great match and just end up having a really good finishing run after a slow start. AJ grabs Nattie's hair to block the Sharpshooter and pulls her into a cradle to win. **1/4 The video on past champions airs again. Match #3: Big E. Langston [c] vs. Damien Sadnow [WWE Intercontinental Championship] This is also only six minutes, but they don't work nearly as well together as AJ and Natalya This is probably good for Sadnow, as it means he has to kill less time with his boring ass routine bullshit stomping and chinlocking bullshit, and Big E. can do his fun power stuff with less gaps. Sandow has one of the shittiest dropkicks I've seen in a while. Big E doesn't really get to come back like he should, and he wins with the Big Ending. *1/2 In the back, Vince shakes Randy Orton's hand. Match #4: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS [c] vs. Rey Mysterio/The Big Show vs. Rybaxel vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter [WWE Tag Team Championship - Elimination Match] This ends up being great. Goldust does the best he can to carry Axel and Rybork early on, and he eliminates the big guy with a schoolboy. Americans isolate Goldust, and it's fantastic. Swagger isn't that bad, Cesaro is the best, and Goldust is the FIP god. He breaks out the GOLDSHI TONIC/CODE GOLD/GOLD RED for the first time and there's some incredible cut offs. Show gets in and gets both of them with JO Punches to eliminate them. Final fall is really really fucking great. Like someone told Rey it was 2009-11 and his knees still sort of work. Goldust again does a great FIP job for Show. His comeback is even more impressive looking because of how Show bumps for it, consider how he steamrolled the Americans. Rey vs. Cody rules again and Cody gets the Cross Rhodes for the win. *** In the back, there is a toy ad disguised as a comedy segment. Match #5: Brodus Clay vs. R-Truth Tensai, the women, and Xavier Woods are on the floor. This is pretty awful for six minutes. Brodus keeps refusing to win so he can put on more punishment. Brodus argues with Tensai and says he's better than him, and Tensai and the Funkadactyls leave. Truth then wins with a roll up. 1/2* In the back, Vince shakes Cena's hand. Match #6: The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston [No Disqualification Match] FUCK YOU: THE PPV continues. This is No DQ basically only for the finish, which isn't even DQ worthy to begin with. These are two of the only wrestlers ever who get worse when they try to be aggressive and show hate. It helps that they're both terrible wrestlers to begin with, and that's usually just like an amplifier. Just a louder more in your face kind of awful. Miz works on the leg and Kofi jumps between selling like death and easily jumping around and doing bridge spots. Miz is sent into an exposed turnbuckle that he himself exposed earlier on. Kofi then hits the fucking kick and his leg is totally fine and he wins. 45/Poop Hype video for the second handicap match. Match #7: Daniel Bryan vs. The Wyatt Family This one is better but still not great because it feels like they never really get going like they could. Harper is better here than anyone in The Shield was in their match, and Bryan at this point is much better than post-title loss CM Punk. Bryan has that wonderful comeback once more and takes out the big guys on the floor before it comes to an end before it feels right. Bray gets out of the Yes Lock with a bunch of forearms, and hits Sister Abigail for the win. **3/4 Hype video for the main event. Match #10: Randy Orton [c] vs. John Cena [c] [WWE World Heavyweight Championship - TLC Match] This goes about 25 minutes and would probably be better off at 15-20 given the amount of time wasted on meandering bullshit and dead space. This is maybe the best example of a neutered WWE gimmick match. BRUTAL~ chair shots to the back, lots of walking around, routine ladder spots, etc. It's also a great argument for why people who aren't willing to take the big bumps and punishment shouldn't be in these kinds of matches. There isn't a ton of reason or flow behind stuff either. The finishing spot is pretty sweet though. Cena is handcuffed to the bottom rope and he takes the rope off the ringpost to climb up, but Orton pulls on the rope to send him down through a table. Orton climbs up and grabs dem belts/dem cakes. **1/4 |
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| Big Tuna | Jul 3 2014, 09:53 PM Post #200 |
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The Master and Ruler Of The World
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WWE World Heavyweight Champion: Randy Orton, Since 10/27/2013 WWE U.S. Champion: Dean Ambrose, Since 5/19/2013 - LONGEST REIGNING CHAMPION CURRENTLY WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big E. Langston, Since 11/18/2013 WWE Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes/Goldust, Since 10/14/2013 WWE Diva's Champion: AJ Lee, Since 6/16/2013 NXT Champion: Bo Dallas, Since 6/12/2013 NXT Tag Team Champions: The Ascension, Since 10/2/2013 NXT Womens Champion: Paige, Since 7/24/2013 Review World Champion: Randy Orton, Since 12/15/2013 WWE Raw December 16th, 2013 Dallas, TX Triple H and Stephanie are in the ring to open the show again, with the roster on the stage. They bring out Randy Orton with both titles, so apparently one title isn't going away forever. Orton said nobody had faith that he would win and he proved that he takes what he wants and he isn't handed everything. He says everyone on the stage is jealous of him and it's appropriate that they're down there and he's up here, because he's so far above them. He continues to bite the hand that feeds and says he's the most powerful man in the ring and Cena says he's an idiot. Orton says to turn his mic off, and Cena says he won't ruin his moment but often times, he has trouble speaking, so he's here with cliff notes. Apex predator, Viper, Viper Viper, handcuffs, greatest of all time, etc. He just saved 20 minutes, and says he was the better man last night and he earned it and says that title forces him every night to put up or shut up. Orton says he gets no rematch, and Cena says he was talking about Daniel Bryan. Orton demands security and says he doesn't care, and Cena asks how he can be the greatest of all time if he's afraid of facing Bryan for the title. Orton says he doesn't have to listen to anybody, and Stephanie says except them. Triple H says he agrees that Bryan doesn't deserve a title shot but the people voted him Superstar of the Year, and that's clearly the match they want, so it's best for business. Tonight, Orton vs. Bryan...NON-TITLE. Match #1: DEM FIGHTING RHODES BOYS vs. Rey Mysterio/The Big Show Good face/face stuff. Rey vs. Cody is amazing again. This is also the match where they take a selfie on commentary and kill the match for like a minute so Vince can use his puppets to complain about Obama taking a selfie during some event that nobody remembers 7 months later. Goldust gets in at the end, and is almost immediately shut down with a KO Punch for the win. Why? **1/2 There's voting for Punk's partners, but it's Usos. Matadores, and PTP, so it's an obvious PTP win. At ringside, Bad News Barrett bangs his gavel and asks for some decorum. Over half a billion dollars is at stake this weekend in the lottery. BUT HE'S AFRAID HE'S GOT SOME BAD NEWS. They will all lose and return to their ramshackle homes. Happy holidays. featured a backstage segment in which Orton confronted Triple H, Stephanie, and Kane about forcing him to face Bryan later in the show, with Stephanie and Triple H telling him he was valued as their champion and face of the company and had his back Match #2: Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango w/ Summer Rae Three minutes of whatever. Ziggler wins with a roll up and it's now a huge deal that he can beat fucking Fandango. *1/2 Match #3: Big E. Langston/Mark Henry vs. The Real Americans w/ Zeb Coulter This really shouldn't have gone 12 minutes or even six the way it was laid out to give Swagger again like 80% of the work for some reason. Swagger cannot fill time, and neither Mark or Big E. are especially well equipped to being the FIP in a tag team. Big E. vs. Cesaro at the end is almost worth the bad Swagger/MOK control segment thing. Langston wins with the big Ending *3/4 NEXT WEEK: MOK CLAUS VS. SADNOW CLAUS Match #4: Rybaxel vs. Tons of Funk w/ The Funkadactyls Team Pac Man is on commentary. This is to further the break up and anything you can classify as a Rybaxel showcase is going to blow. Brodus refuses to tag in and Tensai is beaten with the Shellshocked. 3/4* after the bout, Clay had words with Cameron & Noami before twice hitting a running splash; moments later, R-Truth & Xavier Woods, who provided guest commentary for the match, made the save and invited Cameron & Naomi into the ring to dance with them CM Punk comes out and gets on the mic before his six man. He says he didn't think he would win last night, but he didn't get taken out, but the best in the world defeated the entire Shield. He says he knows it's far from over and they might make excuses about how he hurt Roman's eye and he was blinded when he speared Dean Ambrose, but it's not about them as much as The Authority. They can pretend they didn't send The Shield after him, but he can't shake the feeling that someone's trying to sweep him under the ring. Punk says he figures he and Triple H can both talk this out and he calls him out. Shawn Michaels comes out instead and says he gets his obsession and problem with authority, because he was the same way. He says he has to get over this and his issue should be with him for kicking him in the face last week. The crowd chants for one more match, and Punk says he's sure he'll have more than one more match, so relax. Punk says he can give him one pass because of who he is, but if he ever tries it again, he's going to kick him back. Shawn says he's always liked him and last week pained him more than it pained him, and this also pains him, and brings out The Shield. Match #5: CM Punk/The Usos vs. The Shield This was disappointing. Punk didn't really feel like putting in a bunch of effort here and continued to work like someone who both no longer has any passion and is working hurt, both of which are true. Punk got the finishing run too, which meant no big Usos/Shield run. Punk even does a super safe Tope Suicida, which breaks my heart. Reigns catches Punk with the Spear right after he hits Ambrose with the GTS and The Shield wins. **1/4 In the back, Bray cuts a promo. He says she told him that this war would be a long and daunting process, and she's always right. Daniel Bryan is a coward and liar, but a minuscule ant trying to pierce the armor of a scorpion. He told him he could take the pain away and he rebuked him. He understands now what it is they must do, and if Daniel Bryan refuses to walk with the reapers, then he will burn with the saints. Match #6: AJ Lee/Tamina/Alicia Fox vs. Natalya/The Bella Twins This gets five minutes, so at least they're trying. But like four of that is the Bellas in chinlocks, so what the fuck? Does Finlay only get to be the womens' agent anymore on NXT? AJ gets in at the end and bumps around for BTB. AJ wins with the Shining Wizard after a wonderful Superkick to Nikki from Tamina. 3/4* In the back, Randy Orton says stuff and says what's best for business is if everyone kisses his ass. Match #7: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan This is easily their best match, and one of the best of the year. A lot of that is because they got 22 minutes here and got to have an actual real match. There were a lot of echos of Orton/Benoit matches here, in terms of it being a rare situation where Orton matches have genuine struggle and lots of nasty moments from him. Bryan starts in control and picks apart Orton. He gets some knee work in, but Orton cuts it off by going to the arm. Amazing moment where he bites Bryan's knee to get out of a hold. He works on the arm and it's awesome. Bryan bites Orton's forehead for revenge and then has a small comeback. BUT ORTON DODGES THE TOPE SUICIDA AND BRYAN JUST LANDS FLAT DOWN ON THE FLOOR JESUS CHRIST. Bryan's arm selling was again the best, and he does a good job of doing little things in the finishing run to make it so he's still acknowledging it while being able to move on for a killer run. Lots of great counters again, and Bryan starts to close in, but Orton ducks a kick and gets a low blow for the blatant DQ to save himself. It this got maybe 3-5 more minutes and a real finish, it could have been classic territory. ***3/4 Cena comes out to save and Orton bails. Cena checks on Bryan, and Orton comes back in and hits the RKO on him. |
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6:53 PM Jul 10