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He's BAA-AACK!!!; EP RP I
Topic Started: Sep 30 2008, 05:23 PM (92 Views)
El Pablo
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!

*Twelve men from the CW security staff rush down the ramp and begin apprehending the members of Beautiful Agony, who fight valiantly, but the numbers are too great.*

Bad Ass: Outside of Rowan who has a match next, remove the rest of this gene trash from the building! Lock Rowan up somewhere until his match is up, and hand Tatum a key to my hotel room. I gotta see those goods just one more time.

*The crowd boos hysterically as Beautiful Agony are led back up the ramp and away from the ceremony. Pablo’s face looks sadder than ever before. Matt hands the mic off to Jessica Towers at ringside and then signals for Mikkel to continue.*

Mikkel: then without further interruptions, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

*The crowd sits aghast in shock, knowing that all means of help for their beloved hero have failed and now his doom is upon him. Jena turns to Pablo and puckers up, her eyes closed and waiting for Pablo’s embrace.*

Daniels: Oh no…

Masters: Oh yea, ha ha! This is it!

*Pablo turns to Jena, his face all wrinkled up with disgust. Pablo slowly inched closer and closer to the masculine jaws of horror, his stomach churning as he does so. Suddenly, a voice cries out above everything!!!*

Special Ed: THIS IS FOR LOKI!!!

*Pablo suddenly ducks and Ed shoves his cousin Matt from behind, forcing his face tightly against Jena’s! Her eyes still closed and thinking him Pablo, Jena grabs Matt up in a tight embrace, forcing her mouth tighter upon his as he struggles insanely against her strength. The crowd explodes in applause as Pablo stands back in shock, a half hearted smile on his face as he realizes he has just been saved. Jena opens her eyes to find Matt on the receiving end of her kiss and suddenly drops him, horrified and confused. Matt scrambles to his feet, spitting and gagging. Pablo quickly takes advantage and lifts him into the air, nailing him with a Pablo Slam!!! El Pablo quickly jerks the wedding ring off his finger and launches it out into the crowd before turning and flipping Jena off, to which she responds bursting into manly sobs as tears stream down her face. Mikkel shoves the podium aside and stalks Pablo, but Ed kicks his older brother in the gut and then hoists him high into the air, dropping him with the Special Driver!!! Pablo stares at Ed who gets back on his feet and stares at Pablo. Ed suddenly rips off his tuxedo jacket to reveal his XTC shirt beneath! Pablo and Ed hug in the center of the ring as Hellena screams like a banshee, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

Daniels: Oh my god! Pablo escaped his marriage to Jena after all!

Masters: It was Matt Covey who wound up kissing her! I believe… I believe he just might be the unfortunate soul married to that beast!

Daniels: After everything that has transpired over the past several months, this has turned out to be poetic justice!

*Hellena suddenly rushes in and starts raining fists down on the back and head of Special Ed, attacking him with a fury as though she were the one scorned this evening. Pablo shoves Ed aside and lifts Hellena into the air, nailing her with a Pablo Slam!!!*

Masters: El Pablo hit ANOTHER woman!

*Ed and Pablo then exit the ring to the standing ovation from the crowd in attendance as “Been Training Dogs” picks up. Jenna is the only one still conscious in the ring, watching through tear soaked eyes as the man she loves walks out of her life forever.*

*Suddenly, everything starts going in reverse at an incredibly high speed, as if it were a film being rewound. As it does so, we can hear the sound of hysterical male laughter over the top of it, although where and from who we do not know. After a few seconds, the action stops, and begins to play normally again.*

*Pablo turns to Jena, his face all wrinkled up with disgust. Pablo slowly inched closer and closer to the masculine jaws of horror, his stomach churning as he does so. Suddenly, a voice cries out above everything!!!*

Special Ed: THIS IS FOR LOKI!!!

*Pablo suddenly ducks and Ed shoves his cousin Matt from behind, forcing his face tightly against Jena’s! Her eyes still closed and thinking him Pablo, Jena grabs Matt up in a tight embrace, forcing her mouth tighter upon his as he struggles insanely against her strength. The crowd explodes in applause as Pablo stands back in shock, a half hearted smile on his face as he realizes he has just been saved. Jena opens her eyes to find Matt on the receiving end of her kiss and suddenly drops him, horrified and confused. Matt scrambles to his feet, spitting and gagging. Pablo quickly takes advantage and lifts him into the air, nailing him with a Pablo Slam!!! El Pablo quickly jerks the wedding ring off his finger and launches it out into the crowd before turning and flipping Jena off, to which she responds bursting into manly sobs as tears stream down her face. Mikkel shoves the podium aside and stalks Pablo, but Ed kicks his older brother in the gut and then hoists him high into the air, dropping him with the Special Driver!!! Pablo stares at Ed who gets back on his feet and stares at Pablo. Ed suddenly rips off his tuxedo jacket to reveal his XTC shirt beneath! Pablo and Ed hug in the center of the ring as Hellena screams like a banshee, trying to figure out what’s going on.*

*Suddenly, the scene begins to rewind again, with the unknown viewer's apparent enjoyment once again being expressed. Once again, the rewind stops, and begins playing normally again.*

*Pablo suddenly ducks and Ed shoves his cousin Matt from behind, forcing his face tightly against Jena’s! Her eyes still closed and thinking him Pablo, Jena grabs Matt up in a tight embrace, forcing her mouth tighter upon his as he struggles insanely against her strength. The crowd explodes in applause as Pablo stands back in shock, a half hearted smile on his face as he realizes he has just been saved. Jena opens her eyes to find Matt on the receiving end of her kiss and suddenly drops him, horrified and confused. Matt scrambles to his feet, spitting and gagging. Pablo quickly takes advantage and lifts him into the air, nailing him with a Pablo Slam!!! El Pablo quickly jerks the wedding ring off his finger and launches it out into the crowd before turning and flipping Jena off, to which she responds bursting into manly sobs as tears stream down her face.*

*Again the scene begins to rewind, but this time, the camera pulls back, revealing a TV screen. It moves up and away, then pans down, revealing The Five Star Superstar El Pablo, sat on the floor of his hotel room infront of the sofa, giggling hysterically to himself. He looks up at the camera, still laughing, and then...*

*The scene cuts, now showing the opening credits of Team XTC News. The lights on the studio fade up, revealing El Pablo sat behind the news desk in a bright green suit jacket with a black shirt and a green tie, all accompanying his usual beanie, shades and fingerless gloves combo. The theme music fades out, and El Pablo looks ahead into the camera.*

EL PABLO: Hello.. and welcome.. to Team XTC news.. WE'RE *BLEEP*ING BACK BABY! OH YEAH!!!

...

Ahem.. this broadcast may contain some strong language.. sorry...

Anyway, the headlines!


*DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN.. DUN DUN!*

Jesse Montana - Still Champion..

Rave - Still Fired..

Matt Covey - Still Rinsing His Mouth With Disinfectant..

El Pablo - Still Single..
*removes shades and winks at the camera* Hello there ladies.. *replaces*

But first.. Who IS "Flawless" Frank Finch?

*El Pablo sits in silence for a few moments, just staring into the camera.*

No.. seriously.. who is he?

...

No?

...

Anyone?

...

OK, well, I'll tell you who he is! "Flawless" Frank Finch.. is a man! A man.. who wrestles.. with a mullet! Yes, he's rocking it old school, ladies and gentlemen! But Frank.. come on! You should know by now that making things longer at the back NEVER makes them look good! I mean.. just look at this!


*The screen behind El Pablo changes, now displaying a picture of Finch's car.*

Posted Image

*El Pablo stares at it for a few seconds, his back to the camera. He slowly swivels back, his face now bright red and contorted, clearly trying desperately not to burst out laughing. The urge is too much though, and The Five Star Superstar explodes into hysterics.*

EL PABLO: HAHAHAHA!! WHAT IS THAT!? WHAT THE *BLEEP* IS THAT!? OH GOD, IT'S LIKE A CAT HAD SEX WITH AN EEL!!!

*Eventually, El Pablo manages to compose himself, and sits back up on his seat facing the camera.*

EL PABLO: Ahem.. sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen.. I - HAHA! - don't know what came over me!

Anyway.. what we do, of course, know, is that Mr Finch is the newest member of Anarchy Rising, having helped Aslan Fistless
*looks to side camera* see, I can change letters in people's names too! *returns* defeat Big Nasty in a Hell In A Cell match at Extreme Intervention. Now, time will tell whether or not he's worthy of taking his place alongside such hugely-talented superstars as Rob Wright and Lion Blackbird..

*The words "LEO CROW" ping up at the bottom of the screen, subtitle-style.*

EL PABLO: ..but for now, he is merely the first step.. the opening act, if you like.. in the triumphant return to form of The Five.. Star.. Superstar! The wheels were already set in motion at the Pay-Per-View, when I.. embarassed.. shamed.. HUMILIATED.. your new Anarchy Rising team-mate Matt Covey by.. ahh to hell with it, let's show it once more!

*Again the screen behind El Pablo flickers into life.*

*Pablo suddenly ducks and Ed shoves his cousin Matt from behind, forcing his face tightly against Jena’s! Her eyes still closed and thinking him Pablo, Jena grabs Matt up in a tight embrace, forcing her mouth tighter upon his as he struggles insanely against her strength. The crowd explodes in applause as Pablo stands back in shock, a half hearted smile on his face as he realizes he has just been saved. Jena opens her eyes to find Matt on the receiving end of her kiss and suddenly drops him, horrified and confused. Matt scrambles to his feet, spitting and gagging. Pablo quickly takes advantage and lifts him into the air, nailing him with a Pablo Slam!!!*

*The scene returns to the newsdesk, but for some reason El Pablo is now nowhere to be seen. Suddenly though, a begloved hand slams down on top of the desk, and El Pablo hauls himself up from behind it, tears streaming down his face. He wipes them off, and sits back down again.*

EL PABLO: Cracking. So, yes, Frank.. my crusade of revenge and humiliation on Anarchy Rising has now well and truly begun. This week, it's your turn to pull your pants down and accept a spanking, AND.. because I am contractually obligated to say this at the end of every promo I deliver.. recieve your very own warm-welcoming.. career-commencing.. revenge-.. No, hang on.. vengeance-.. Nope.. erm.. *clicks fingers* HUMILIATION-HANDING.. EL.. PABLO.. EXPERIENCE! Peace out, y'all!

*The Team XTC news theme tune starts up again, as El Pablo performs a variety of "gang signs" to the camera. The studio lights fade down as the credits begin to roll, before the scene itself fades to black.*
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