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| Another Interrupted Broadcast; EP RP I | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 22 2008, 01:38 AM (95 Views) | |
| El Pablo | Oct 22 2008, 01:38 AM Post #1 |
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!
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*Your regularly scheduled programming is interrupted by the familiar sights and sounds of the XTC News opening credits. After a few seconds, though, the music takes on a new direction, turning into something approaching a Broadway musical score. The XTC Phoenix soars up onto the screen, now wearing a top hat, then swoops down, the camera tracking it at speed, before slowing down and moving backwards down a golden staircase, flanked on either side by scantily clad supermodels dancing to the music. The camera reaches the bottom of the stairs, then shoots up them again as The Five Star Superstar El Pablo steps out through a curtain at the top, dressed in a black dinner suit with an XTC green shirt. He has a cane in his hand and a trilby on his head. He lifts his hat and bows to the camera, before replacing it and stepping slowly down the stairs, in time to the music, acknowledging each of the girls as he goes. When he reaches the bottom, he tosses the cane behind him, causing a scramble to break out as the girls desperately compete to take hold of it. Apparently unaware, El Pablo bounds across the room towards the newsdesk, and slides over the top of it, landing perfectly in the chair behind it. The music dies down, and the lights come up fully, as El Pablo spins once in the chair and faces the camera, grinning broadly.* EL PABLO: Ahh.. good to know the old Assault budget went to good use! Yes, a new era begins in CZW as Assault and Warzone combine to create CZW OVERDRIVE! The decision was made to create the supershow after an apparant decrease in talent on the roster. An apparant increase in drugs arrests this week has been passed off by CZW owners as "just a coincidence". The name for the show was decided by a series of votes, both by CZW fans and senior board members. Rumours that former Assault General Manager Jesse Montana threatened to resign after his nomination for "Asszone" was rejected remain unconfirmed. DU-DU-DUN DUN DU-DUN DUN DUN DU-DU-DUN EL PABLO: In other news, Tim Timmons takes on the aforementioned "fan of the Asszone" Jesse Montana in a cage match for the CZW World Heavyweight Championship this week as part of the inaugural Overdrive card. Like I said, ladies and gentlemen, apparant decrease in talent. DU-DU-DUN DU-DUN DUN DUN DUN ... EL PABLO: No seriously.. Tim Timmons? World Heavyweight Championship shot? REALLY? Don't get me wrong, he's won.. three matches.. possibly? ... EL PABLO: Is it, like, a special reward for having more partners in a year than the founder of the Mormon Church? I dunno, it just seems a bit.. random, a bit out of the blue. In fact, it's probably the most random thing we've seen in the CZW since.. well, since Special Ed was booked to team up with Mr Jena Cyde a week after being permanently retired BY Mr Jena Cyde. One wonders if the writers involved have been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.. or snorting drugs off the back of livestock again... Nah, I'm just messing with ya Tim, I'm sure you'll make a great "Wrold Cahmpion"! You know, for like a week or so... *winks* DUN EL PABLO: In Assault news, my XTC stablemates Krimson Blaze and Shawn Waters became the new CZW World Tag Team Champions by defeating then-CZW World Tag Team Champions Idolized in a CZW World Tag Team Championship match to declare themselves the NEW CZW World Tag Team Champions. So guys, has it sunk in that you're the new CZW World Tag Team Champions yet? *Shawn and Blaze are seen smiling, titles sitting proudly on their shoulder.* Waters: Oh man...does it feel good to be wearing gold again! In that small period of time between losing to Cage Stryker and teaming up with Blaze...I barely was able to win matches...I missed out on the world title...but now! It feels good to be a top the Tag division! Blaze: It feels great to be a champion again... I'll definitely have this title longer then the X-Title, that is for sure. *Blaze then mumbles "bastard" to himself, regarding Eddie Rowan who is the current X-Champion still.* EL PABLO: That's it KB, set the bar high for yourself.. *ahem* Have you guys found that being the hottest.. and coldest.. COOLEST.. tag team in the world at the moment has changed your lives in any way? *Blaze smiles at the question.* Blaze: I know that once we captured these titles, that all bets were off when it comes to other teams. But yes, holding these titles amongst some of the greatest tag-teams, like for example, The Five Star Gamblers, The Alaskan Warriors *cough* LAME *cough*, Idolized, and numerous others have all shown that they are indeed worthy of them, but we wanted them just a bit more... And to top it all off, we won them on the last airing of Assault, which many consider the "2nd rate show" but do you think that at all bothers me? No... I went and did my job just like every other CZW superstar would... fighting for gold... and that's exactly what Fire and Ice did! *Blaze pats the tag-title on his shoulder.* Waters: Heh...These titles really do prove that we are the elite of CZW's tag division...all that happened in the space of a month or two...it just goes to show...when you are as hot, cool and full of XTC as us...anything is possible. *A disclaimer appears at the bottom of the screen. Shawn and Blaze look down at it, trying to read it upside-down.* DISCLAIMER: Shawn doesn't mean ecstasy...Kids...don't do drugs, m'kay? Neither Fire, nor Ice do drugs of any kinds...thankyou *While the voice-over happened, Shawn and Blaze looked around the room for the source of the voice. They shrug and Shawn continues.* Waters: So yeah...things have changed since we aligned...people actually take us seriously for once...instead of thinking of us as Montana's botch *shudders* or the guy with the shortest X title reign...they see us as what we are...the CZW Tag Team champions! EL PABLO: The CZW WORLD Tag Team Champions.. *winks* Oh, by the way Shawn, Big Daddy wanted me to let you know he's got that "Sing Along With Miley" Karaoke CD you wanted, should you wanna pick it up at Overdrive. That cool with you? *El Pablo has a wicked grin on his face as the camera cuts back to Fire And Ice.. Shawn tries to hide his smile.* Waters: I didn't...order that... KB: So THAT'S why you borrowed my card the other day! *Shawn stomps on KB's toe.* Waters: *whispers* Shut up... *Shawn smiles to the camera.* Waters: EP...tell him I have no idea what he's talking about...but if I did, I'd tell him to meet me in the XTC locker room...kay? EL PABLO: Mmkay Shawn.. *under breath* you big weirdo... That was Fire And Ice, the NEW CZW World Tag Team Champions! I'd tell you that you can all catch their historic Tag Title Unification match against Matt and.. well, Matt Covey, but we're on our third desk as it is, and I've been told by the guys in construction that they really can't afford to sneak me any more. So, I shall.. *takes a deep breath* ..and move on to the next story. MERCHANDISE! *Another cheesy musical score comes up, with the following lyrics being sung in true commercial jingle style.* Team XTC News.. With the best CZW Mer-chan-dise.. Lots of awesome things to choose.. On C-Z-W shop *extravagant drum roll* DOT COM! *The music cuts out, and the camera returns focus to El Pablo.* EL PABLO: Ohhhh yeah! Now then, as ALL of you should know, your favourite Five Star Superstar is scheduled to fight The Angel Gabriel.. excuse me, Ronnie McNeil.. in a match to determine who has the bragging rights going into Horrorcore's EPIC four-way-dance match for the World Heavyweight Championship. And, as with any match involving Ronnie McNeil, this means the inevitable week or so of listening to long, tedious, quasi-spiritual ramblings from a man who you sometimes think might genuinely believe is the reincarnation of some sort of heavenly being from fables past. *adopts high-pitched voice* "Oh no El Pablo, not again! However will I live through it!?" *reverts to normal voice* you might ask. Well, fear not, because help is at hand, corteousy of THIS.. ![]() ..the BRAND NEW Ronnie McPeeler! Now, while Heaven's 8th son slowly carves away your sanity, you can carve away the peel of a tasty orange, or a nice crunchy apple. Take it to a CZW show near you, and use the results to let Ronnie know just how much you're enjoying his latest spell-binding monologue! Yours for only $14.95! Also out this week, the latest addition to CZW's flourishing DVD collection. You've got it up, you've "goen hradcoer", now check out.. ![]() RONNIE McBEAL! Join Ronnie as he struggles through the everyday trials and tribulations of doing not very much, accompanied by his not-very-interesting friends! At only $31.95, it's an absolute Ronnie McSteal! *The jingle replays, as El Pablo swivels round in his chair a few times. Once it finishes, the camera again returns to normal.* EL PABLO: Well folks, our time is almost up here at XTC News. But before we go, there's just enough time to check out the latest betting news with Team XTC's number one Gambling man, Ace King! *The screen cuts to the interior of a random betting office, where Ace King is stood, dressed in a lavish business suit and holding a clipboard.* ACE KING: Hey there Pabs, great to be a part of XTC News once again! EL PABLO: Wouldn't be the same without ya buddy! So, the big story is obviously this World Heavyweight Title match between Tim Timmons and Jesse Montana.. what odds are you currently offering on Tim Timmons walking away with the gold? ACE KING: Well EP.. *Ace begins ruffling through the papers on the clipboard.* ACE KING: Hold on, just let me count the zeros... *Ace removes on slip of paper, and with a flick of the wrist, it begins to unravel a comical amount, the camera following it as it reaches the floor and rolls right out the shop door. Ace stands there in silence for a few seconds, scanning over the zeros. Eventually, El Pablo cuts him off.* EL PABLO: Erm, OK.. long story short, Ace, is there any way you can see Timmons actually defeating Jesse Montana this week on Overdrive? *Ace drops the paper to the floor and looks back at the camera.* ACE KING: I can see it less than I can see John Cena, Pablo. And as you all know.. *Ace waves his hand in front of his face.* ACE KING: ..You can't see John Cena. Back to you Pabs. *The camera cuts back to EP.* EL PABLO: Thankyou Ace, good to know that even though you're not currently wrestling you've managed to hold on to your dignity... That about wraps it up for this edition of XTC News.. Be sure to catch the first EVER episode of CZW:Overdrive this Friday at 9pm EST, where I give Ronnie McNeil an exclusive preview of the soon-to-be-unleashed bone-chilling.. teeth-chattering.. fear-inducing.. potential-fulfilling.. WORLD-HEAVYWEIGHT-CHAMPIONSHIP-WINNING EL.. PABLO.. EXPERIENCE!!! GOODNIGHT WORLD!!! *El Pablo raises his fists into the air, as the end credits begin to roll. The camera pulls back, waiting until the final name exits the screen before finally fading to black.* Edited by El Pablo, Oct 22 2008, 01:42 AM.
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