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M.T.V. and I don't mean Music Television
Topic Started: Oct 23 2008, 07:11 AM (87 Views)
Maynard O'Toole
Member Avatar
CZW Ultimate Role Player


Eddie lunges at Spencer, tackling him over in his recliner! One of Spencer’s cats bolts for a hiding place, and his two dogs rush over and begin yapping obnoxiously as the two brawl on the floor. One of the dogs turns and sniffs at the camera, licking it a few times before our scene fades.

Fans of Freedom Hall, located in Louisville, Kentucky, have just enjoyed yet another exciting edition of Ed-E.T.V. when all of a sudden the screen turns to snow and static is heard coming over very loud.

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After a few minutes of loud static and snow on the jumbo tron, a great big logo appears that looks like the same logo for Ed-E.T.V. …

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You can clearly hear the massive boos from all the fans in the arena as Maynard shows up on the jumbo screen. Just then, some cheesy music begins to play and you can see Maynard O’Toole sitting at a desk and along side him is Matt Covey who is sitting on the couch next to him.

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::Maynard:: Well hello there ladies and gentlemen, we have interrupted E.T.V. to bring you a special program….ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages….CZW proudly brings to you….Maynard Television or….M.T.V….hmmm let’s hope we don’t get sued by that other Mtv. Well anyway we have a lot of fun coming your way but first allow me to introduce to you….a friend of mine…some say he’s crazy….some say he’s dangerous but I say he is simply…BAD ASS!....ladies and gentlemen….one half of the current Global tag team champions….Matt Covey! Matt, say hello to all the loving viewers out there, buddy.

::Covey:: F*CK OFF!!!....ALL YOU SONS OF BITCHES CAN KISS MY TRAILOR PARK ASS!!!!

::Maynard:: OK…thanks Covey….ya gotta love Bad Ass Matt Covey, folks. Well folks, I think it’s time for the TOP TEN LIST!!!!

Cheesy music begins to play as we see a logo that reads: MAYNARD’S TOP 10 LIST

::Maynard:: OK…well tonight’s topic is:….Top ten reasons why Maynard O’Toole will win the champions triple threat match on the first edition of CZW Overdrive.

*DRUM ROLL*

10. I most successful IC champ in CZW history

*DRUM ROLL*

9. Eric Collum couldn’t hold my jockstrap

*DRUM ROLL*

8. Hey…look at that…Eddie Rowan couldn’t hold my jockstrap as well

*DRUM ROLL*

7. I am the Original Gangster Tool

*DRUM ROLL*

6. I have a much bigger title than both of my competitors

*DRUM ROLL*

5. Eddie beat me BUT as we all know….Lightning doesn’t strike twice

*DRUM ROLL*

4. Because you know I’ve always got something up my sleeve

*DRUM ROLL*

3. I am representing SoS…the greatest stable in CZW history

*DRUM ROLL*

2. I am going to make an example out of my opponents especially for Karl “The Jackal” Jackson.

*DRUM ROLL*

And the number one reason, I will win tomorrow night…..

1. I’m just….THAT…..DAMN…..GOOD!


The cheesy music plays again as the segment ends….Maynard then throws each of index cards at the screen and a crashing sound is heard.

::Maynard:: HEE HEE HEE….HO HO….say, Covey…ehhh got any gum?....ehhhh….got any gum?

With that said…Covey reaches underneath the desk and pulls out a tire iron.

::Covey:: Well, Mayn….I don’t have any gum…but I do have a little present for Fire and Ice.

::Maynard:: HEY!.....that looks oddly familiar….is that the famous tire iron I used to clock Krimzon Blaze, causing him to lose his match against Dustin Davis?

::Covey:: Why….yes it is, Mayn….I do believe….YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!

With that said, the screen turns to snow and you can hear loud static again….the screen comes back on and you again see Maynard and Covey but this time….on a different set.

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::Maynard:: Sorry folks, we had some technical difficulties but we are back and I am back once again with my good friend….’Bad Ass’ Matt Covey….Covey, say hello to the folks again.

::Covey:: Shawn….Blaze, if you two piss-ons think what I did to my cousin, Ed, was bad, brutal, twisted….YOU HAVEN’T SEEN SH*T YET!!!

::Maynard:: OK….who else thinks Covey here might want to switch to decaf? Covey, we all know that you are going to beat the living hell out of Waters and Blaze….folks, that match is not for the weak at heart….trust me. Just like we all know that I…the greatest intercontinental champion of all time…..is going to get my hand raised in victory after I beat Eric Collum and Eddie Rowan in that triple threat match. I mean, look at what I have done in triple threat matches in the past. My greatest accomplishment was when I beat the most dangerous man in czw….no offense Covey…Karl Jackson AND the very talented, very impressive, Gregory Grantham in a triple threat match to become Assaults…KING OF COMBAT! How many people can say that they hold a victory over Karl Jackson and Gregory Grantham?....not very many…..yet…I hold beat both of these men…at the same time, in the same ring…..now that is impressive.

::Covey:: YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!

::Maynard:: Indeed I am…I am going to make Eric and Eddie look worse than Hellena after spending the night with…..ME!

::Covey:: HIYOOOO!!!!!

::Maynard:: Well I think its time for….MAY-NAC, THE MAGNIFICENT!!!

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Covey hands Maynard an envelope and Maynard holds it to his head

::Maynard:: Hmmm…I am getting something….ahh yes….A SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN HELL…..

Maynard opens the envelope and reads the index card inside…

::Maynard:: Eric and Eddie’s chance of beating me on Overdrive Friday night.

Covey hands Maynard another envelope and Maynard holds it to his head

::Maynard:: Hmmm…I am getting something again….ahh yes….TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS…..

Maynard opens the envelope and reads the index card inside…

::Maynard:: The total of the hospital bill that both Waters and Blaze will receive after the tag title unification match at Overdrive.

Covey then hands Maynard one more envelope and Maynard again holds it up to his head.

::Maynard:: Hmmm….NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN

Maynard opens the envelope and reads it out loud again.

::Maynard:: The answer to the question: WILL KARL JACKSON BEAT ME AND TAKE MY IC TITLE AT HORRORCORE?

::Maynard:: Well folks that is all the time we have for you this evening….remember to tune in Friday night for the first edition of Overdrive.....it's gonna be some weird and wild stuff.

The cheesy music plays as the show fades out.

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