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La vuelta de El Pablo a España; EP RP FTMFWMF!
Topic Started: Sep 12 2009, 12:57 AM (149 Views)
El Pablo
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!

The sound of a Mariachi ballad flows gently along the airwaves of a hazy late summer’s afternoon, as the scene opens on a Spanish flag hanging almost motionless from a pole extended from the wall of a white brick building. The camera pulls back, revealing said wall to be the front face of a small restaurante, presumably in a quiet town somewhere in España. The camera drops down to head height, and moves through the open front door inside the building. It traverses the various circular tables with white and burgundy tablecloths, and makes its way to a small stage at the far end of the room. Here, we see the various members of a typical Mariachi band, a few sat on the edge of the stage, a couple pacing around fiddling with their instruments (easy..), and a couple more stood further back leaning on a selection of transportation facilities (or boxes, as they’re also known). All of the men are wearing the traditional Mariachi outfit, sombreros, neckerchiefs and all. The camera focuses in on one member of the band in particular, who sits on the stage with a blank expression on his face, seemingly completely detached from his present physical environment. This is noticed by one of his band-mates, who sits up next to him and waves a hand in front of his face.

HECTOR: ¿Es usted aceptable, Chavo?

Chavo does not shift his position at all, although he does at least register his amigo’s concerns.

CHAVO: Algo se está encendiendo aquí.. Puedo sentirlo en el hoyo de mi estómago..

Hector lifts his sombrero and scratches his head, a puzzled look on his face.

HECTOR: ¿Usted es puesto enfermo por el hecho que somos una venda del Mariachi, a pesar de claramente estar en España?

Chavo shakes his head slightly.

CHAVO: No, no es ése.. Mi “Repentinamente Encontrándose en el Medio Sentido de un Promo Hilarante del Equipo XTC” está actuando para arriba..

Hector’s eyes widen.

HECTOR: ¡Ay mi dios!

Chavo smiles slightly.

CHAVO: Exactamente.

Suddenly, the music cuts out, and the camera cuts right up close on the face of Chavo.

CHAVO: Ay. Mi. Dios.

A flurry of Mariachi instrumentation hits, as a bull suddenly bursts through the wall behind the stage, and tumbles off the edge. A couple of seconds pass, before “La Superestrella de Cinco Estrellas”.. El campeón ÉPICo.. El Pablo jumps through the hole, dressed in his full wrestling gear, landing on the stage in standard superhero pose.

EL PABLO: Hola, perras.

EP holds his pose, with the entire band staring at him, as a loud moo, followed by the sound of something wet and squishy hitting the floor, rumbles out from off-camera.

EL PABLO: Limpiaré eso. Mi malo.

The words, “La vuelta de El Pablo a México España” flash up on screen, as a Mariachi version of “Rebel Rebel” by David Bowie starts to play over animated footage of a plane making its way from England to Spain. As the music progresses, a generic dance drum beat fades into the background, and the scene returns to live action, this time inside a large club on the famous Spanish island of Ibiza. As the strobe lights flicker and the lasers twirl their way across the ceiling, the camera manages to pick out the still-costumed El Pablo amongst the substantial crowd, his slightly-beer-sodden fur glowing under the ultra-violet lighting. The scene then cuts to outside the club, where EP stumbles onto the sidewalk in the company of two scantily-clad young women.

EL PABLO: ..but then I rolled out of the way.. and then we both got up.. and I was all, “F**K YOU JUSTIN!”.. BAM!.. Twist of Fate! BAH GAWD! And the fans are all going f**king mental.. “OOLEEE OLE OLE OLEEEEE.. OLEEEEE.. OLEEEEE!”.. so I go outside, and I get this England flag from some guy.. I put it on the turnbuckle.. and then I climb up.. and it’s all “MUTHAf**kAAAAAA!!!”.. GA-DOOSH! Pablo Splash, I pin him, 1.. 2.. 3! “Your winner, and STILL CZW EPIC Champion.. EL PABLOOOO!”



So I think my hotel is that way…


As EP starts to lead the ladies away down the street, a piercing yell sounds out off-camera behind them.

VOICE: HEY! RATBOY!

EP and the girls turn round, as Jenny Jacobs steps into shot, looking as intoxicated as EP, if not more so, and currently threatening to spill out of her low-cut top.

JACOBS: Getting in some good preparation for your match I see, HA!

EP grimaces, although a smile quickly overtakes, and he extends his arms out cockily as he sways slightly.

EL PABLO: Pffffffffffft! I don’t NEED to preparationise, Jenny.. I am the EPIC champion! The Five Star Superstar! I have beaten Justin Marsham like, twice now! AND.. even though he pushed me close both times.. I KNOW, like, fo-shizzle, that I’m gonna win this week.

JACOBS: Oh yeah? And why is that?

EL PABLO: Heh.. Hehehe.. Because.. he is teaming with Ronnie McNeil. And I never.. EEEEEVVVVVEEEEERRRRR.. lose to Ronnie McNeil. For srsly, I’m like.. 56 and 0 against him now.. I have his number more than the state of California has yours!

JACOBS: That doesn’t even make any sense!

EL PABLO: Pfft.. Err, it doesn’t HAVE to make sense! Because I.. am the Five Star Superstar! And YOU.. are exposed.

Jenny looks quizzically at EP, until he points towards her breasts, which have indeed now freed themselves from the confines of her clothing. Jenny blushes, and straightens herself up, frowning at EP as she does so.

JACOBS: So.. who are your friends?

EP’s eyes widen slightly, a subtle hint at a panicked attempt to remember the girls’ names.

EL PABLO: This isssssss…. Zoe? And.. Rachael.

The girls smile, suggesting to a relieved EP that he’s gotten away with it.

EL PABLO: Girls, this is Jenny.. CZW’s premier whore.. I mean, interviewer.

The girls laugh, as Jenny just scowls.

JACOBS: I am NOT a whore! ..anymore.

EP just cocks an eyebrow.

EL PABLO: Kiss Zoe, right now.

Jenny scoffs, and crosses her arms across her chest. However, she soon finds her eyes drawn to Zoe’s gaze, and after a brief staredown, the two ladies move in and engage in a sensual locking of the lips. EP and Rachael look on, as several awesome seconds pass, before Jenny and Zoe step back. Suddenly, Zoe bends forward, and hurls some vile bright blue concoction over the chest and top of Jenny Jacobs. EP and Rachael recoil in horror, as Jenny screams, her face a perfect blend of shock and disgust.

EL PABLO: WOW. Yeah.. you girls are SO on your own with that.. Come on Rachael!

EP puts his arm around the non-vomiting girl, and the two turn away, making their way down the street away from Zoe and the hysterical Jenny Jacobs. The scene cuts, re-opening backstage at a CzW event. We find ourselves inside a non-descript hallway, a hallway occupied by a certain…English jumping Bean…EPIC mighty mouse, in El Pablo. Rounding the corner, however, is a fairly exhausted looking Cage Stryker, who pays no attention as he pushes Pablo out of the way. The slightly hyper man grabs Stryker’s arm, smirking as he looks over.

EL PABLO: Are you ready for this man? I know everybody was talkin bout Ronnie leading up to the match…but you were the man to make it happen. f**k man, you know XtC has your back. You weren’t completely overlooked.

CAGE: Completely overlooked, huh? Should I remind you that 90% of the wrestling community's calling anything but me winning an upset? Should I remind you that not a damn man in this match has a victory over me? Or should I remind you that there’s not a man in this company who can outlast me when it matters?

EL PABLO: Hey, I passed the X-Division torch to you man. I don’t doubt you in the least…nor does any of us in XtC. You are the man…and I think you’ll do the same for the World Title.

Cage smiles at El Pablo and shakes his hand. The stare isn’t exactly returned, though, as Pablo’s more or less off in his own world.

CAGE: No, I'm not overlooked...I'm in the spotlight. I'm the man everyone's gunning for. And whether they realize it or not, I'm the man who's throwing each and every one of them out of the ring. Now let’s do this shit.

Pablo turns to look at Cage, the two staring a hole through each other. Cage playfully pushes Pablo out of the way with his shoulder and makes his way further down the hallway, arms folded across his chest. EP watches Cage walk away, then turns and makes his way down towards the XTC locker room. He takes a quick look around, presumably feeling a bit of paranoia as a result of the repeated beatdowns he’s endured the past few weeks, and opens the door. He reaches in, and flicks on the light, before stepping into the room. Suddenly, a noose tightens around his ankle, whipping him off his feet and pulling him upside down into the air. The door slams shut, and the lights shut off, as a deep, demonic laugh echoes in the darkness.

EL PABLO: ..Shit.

Suddenly, the lights flick back on, and it appears that EP is still alone in the room, still suspended from the noose. EP looks round, apparently checking for any signs of ambush.

EL PABLO: Uh-huh…

EP reaches up and unties the rope, falling to the floor with a thud. He dusts himself off, and shrugs, before heading back out the door into the hallway. He turns, and wanders through the corridors, before approaching one with what appears to be some raised voices conversing behind it.

…And if it means I obsess over success for one more night, so be it…

EP smiles, recognizing the voice, and knocks firmly on the door. After a few moments, it swings open, revealing the man…the form of motion picture technology…the legend…Cage Stryker.

El PABLO: Come on now. You can’t leave before your partner gets to put Ryan in his place too.

Cage smiles.

CAGE: You’re right…I enjoy watchin the El Pablo experiences. I wouldn’t miss it. Maybe you can hit Ronnie and Justin more where it hurts than I did.

EL PABLO: Heh, I’ll try to make the champ proud.

Both men laugh as they return to where Ryan still waits…gaped mouth and wide eyed..

CAGE: Go get em Five Star. Hopefully they're warmed up for ya.

EP gives him a thumbs up and walks over to Ryan Lewis.

RYAN: Ah, El Pablo, perfect timing!

EL PABLO: Shut up, Ryan, no-one’s paying you to be friends with people.

CAGE: Nice!

RYAN: Oh yeah, harharharhar, let’s rip on the interviewers!

EL PABLO: Hey, if you saw what I saw happen to Jenny Jacobs the other night, you’d know you’re getting off lightly!

RYAN: Alright, whatever.. So, Pablo.. we’ve heard from your tag-team partner ahead of this week’s big main event, what are your feelings on teaming up against the combination of Justin Marsham and Ronnie McNeil, two men who you know very well inside the squared circle?

EP smiles, and folds his arms across his chest.

EL PABLO: My feelings are.. confidence, mostly. Now.. I don’t wanna sound arrogant.. not overly, anyway.. that’s not really my thing. BUT, as I said to your colleague Miss Jacobs the other night before the.. incident.. there is one overriding factor in this match that means me and Cage pretty much CAN’T lose.

RYAN: And that is?

EL PABLO: ..Ronnie McNeil.

RYAN: Ronnie McNeil?

EL PABLO: Ronnie McNeil.

RYAN: Why Ronnie McNeil?

EL PABLO: Well Ryan, it’s very simple. Me and Ronnie have.. a storied history here in the CZW. We’ve crossed paths on numerous occasions, right at the top of the competitive pyramid. And every SINGLE bah gawd time.. yours truly, the Five Star Superstar has come out on top. I beat him to win the World Heavyweight Championship.. I beat him to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.. I beat him to retain the World Heavyweight Championship AGAIN.. I pinned him in the Stable Wars Chamber.. in fact, the only time Ronnie has “bested” me has been the two occasions he’s double-crossed me in tag matches when he’s supposed to have been on my team!

Yes, as far as me and Ronnie McNeil goes, I’ve pretty much got him licked. I’ve got the Indian sign hanging over him. I am the Usain Bolt to his.. every other athlete in the world. So this week on Overdrive, we will go toe-to-toe once more, with “The Epitome of Technical Finesse” and the World Heavyweight Champion in tow.. and once again, Ronnie McNeil will find himself in the familiar position of laying shoulders-down on the mat, licking the fresh, debilitating wounds inflicted by the Five Star, High-Definition, EL.. PABLO.. EXPERIENCE!

And of course, in the process, I shall see to it that the EPIC Champion gets the inarguable hatrick over his predecessor. And hopefully THIS time, Cage and I will actually get the chance to celebrate a victory, without getting our asses handed to us by Hix and his motley crew of freaks and f**kjars he calls the Entourage. Honestly, I’m not holding my breath, but rest assured, whatever happens, the night will belong to Team XTC, and the pure, shimmering beauty.. of Five Star High Definition.

BA-CHING!


The scene fades to black.
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