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..Ow.; EP KB EF RP CFC DDT MGMT
Topic Started: Nov 19 2009, 11:56 PM (110 Views)
El Pablo
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!

The scene opens with the familiar sound of a beeping heart monitor, a regular soundtrack to post-PPV CZW superstar promos. The darkness dissipates, introducing a blurred view of what is presumably some non-descript hospital room, as seen through the eyes of someone just waking up from a long, deep sleep. Through the haze, we can just make out a large window, the lush green trees and clear blue November sky contrasting sharply against the sterile white walls of the room’s interior. The scene slowly begins to sharpen, various bits of hospital machinery now becoming discernable, as the camera pans slowly around the room. As the picture sharpens still, we find ourselves turning away from the window, and suddenly looking at a male figure, sat at the side of the bed, leaning in towards us. The looks, and therefore the identity, of this person are as yet unclear, the only identifiable details being an apparent lack of hair and an incredibly loud shirt. The picture finally comes into full focus, revealing Whose Line legend, and occasional Team XTC guest star, Colin Mochrie.

AAAHH!

The scene cuts, now showing the apparent occupier of this hotel room, The Five Star Superstar, and now former Intercontinental Champion, El Pablo. At least, we assume it is El Pablo, the huge amount of bandages and casting covering almost all of his body make it a little more difficult than usual to get a clear identification. Clearly then, EP is feeling the severe effects of his EPIC Toole Shed match against Maynard O’Toole at Re-United We Stand, a match that twice saw him fall from the top of the scaffolding to the floor, amongst various other acts of hardcore carnage. Clearly, these effects have also not been helped by his waking up to find Colin Mochrie in such close proximity to him, EP recoiling in the bed, before grimacing at the pain shooting through his entire body. Colin, however, just smiles in that typical, excitable way, clearly trying to keep an upbeat atmosphere inside the room.

COLIN MOCHRIE: Hey buddy! How ya doing!?

EP takes a moment to muster the energy to speak, his voice weak, and crackling.

EL PABLO: Well.. I can’t move my.. anything. And it hurts to.. anything. You?

COLIN MOCHRIE: Well, I stubbed my toe on one of the vending machines downstairs. God, it hurt so bad, you can’t even imagine!

EP just stares at Colin, an eyebrow cocked.

COLIN MOCHRIE: ..I stand by my statement.

This draws a small smile from EP, although it is soon scrubbed out by another wave of pain washing over him.

EL PABLO: So.. how many bones did they say I broke?

COLIN MOCHRIE: Well.. you know that song, “Dry Bones”? “The knee bone’s connected to the.. etc?”

EL PABLO: Yeah..

COLIN MOCHRIE: Well, they’ve now had to re-write it into a 20-minute prog-rock song, just to fit all of your new ones in.

EL PABLO: Heh.. awesome.

COLIN MOCHRIE: BUT.. on the bright side, they’re saying Toole Shed 3 will go down as the greatest Intercontinental Title match of all time!

EL PABLO: ..Disco. Who needs a properly-functioning spine when you’ve got critical acclaim?

COLIN MOCHRIE: Sometimes I think I’d still be doing Whose Line, if I’d only taken a sledgehammer to my collarbone…

EP laughs again, although still obviously in a huge amount of discomfort. Silence descends on the scene for a few moments, before..

COLIN MOCHRIE: So.. anything I can do for you this week? I could step in and cut a promo for you? You know, crack some jokes, plug some crap, the usual?

EL PABLO: Nah, I think it’s best if you hold fire on that one, Colin. Every time you get involved in an XTC promo I end up in the emergency room, and I honestly think I’m good on that for at least a couple of months now!

COLIN MOCHRIE: Pfft.. the El Pablo I know wouldn’t let a couple of blood transfusions and a crazy-paving skeleton stop himself taking a few knocks in the name of entertainment.

EL PABLO: Yeah? Well right now the El Pablo you know is thirsty. Go get me a Pepsi or something, would ya?

COLIN MOCHRIE: Sure, no problem buddy! Hug?

EL PABLO: ..Pepsi.

Colin smiles at EP, before getting to his feet. He stretches slightly, then heads out the door. EP turns his head towards the window again, shutting his eyes for a brief moment, before being interrupted by a familiar voice from off-screen.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Unnngh..

KB groans as he attempts to touch his face only to have a nurse tell him NO in a yelling manner.

EL PABLO: That you KB?

KB attempts to turn over, the glass shards still encompassing his body, as he rolls over onto his side gently.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Yeah its me. I can't even begin to believe we're still alive after all the hell we went through, you more-so then me! Falling from the sky not once but twice putting your body on the line the way you did in Toole Shed 3?! I guess that comes with the territory of being The Fiver Star Superstar eh?

EL PABLO: Yeah well, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes either right now.. you know, "disfigured midget" and all.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Yeah yeah yuck it up... what's worse about this situation is, we have a new World Champion to worry about... Fiscus.

EL PABLO: Unfortunately we do, which could also bring a possible Montana vs Fiscus feud again... Because we both know that Montana craves nothing more then power!

KRIMZON BLAZE: Yeah well, that won't be happening anytime soon, not as long as we're around... Speaking of which, where's Colin? i thought he was getting you a Pepsi.

Colin comes waltzing back into the room carrying not 1 but 2 pepsi's since KB asked for one as well. He puts both drinks on 2 separate plates, before retreating to the ends of the beds and standing with his hands on his hips, as the nurses tend to both EP and KB once more.

COLIN MOCHRIE: So, you boys excited about your match on Overdrive next week?

EP and KB double-take, looking at each other with widened eyes, before simultaneously turning to stare at Colin.

EL PABLO: We’re booked?

COLIN MOCHRIE: ..You guys didn’t know?

The two look at each other again.

EL PABLO: Well.. I mean.. look at us! I’d assumed maybe KB would be involved, but me? I can barely move! I figured they’d review the situation and see I pretty clearly wasn’t fit for competition this show!

Colin obviously doesn't know how to respond to that as he fiddles around with whats left of his hair.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Tell me your joking Colin... There's no way in hell we can compete with the shape we're both in!

COLIN MOCHRIE: Well Blaze, I'm not joking around here... If i was, Ryan's shoes would be in many colors plastered all over this very hospital room.

KB looks over at EP then attempts to do a facepalm but stops at the last second because a nurse stops him from doing so.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Who is it that we have to face Colin?

Colin looks over at KB with discontent in his eyes.

COLIN MOCHRIE: Disasterpiece... X-Division Champion Brian Blaze and Mortius.

KB looks over at EP with solemn in his eyes.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Why must CZW punish us? Honestly, Blaze and Mortius... *idea pops into his head* Does this mean... HAHA YES IT DOES! WOO!!

KB starts jumping around like a little child but as he tries to do so, he gets into more severe pain.

EL PABLO: What does this mean KB?

KRIMZON BLAZE: THE FIRE IS BACK! EL FUEGO!!!! WOO!!!

EP dons a proverbial smile upon his face as he knows now what KB is talking about.

EL PABLO: We're baaaaaccccckkkk!

KB and EP look at the camera with smiles grinning across. However, EP's quickly fades, as another dose of pain surges through him. He slumps back against his pillow, gazing up at the ceiling.

EL PABLO: ..And we're gonna get completely and utterly annihilated.

KB looks over to his partner, still visibly excited at the prospect of an El Fuego reunion.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Come on, Pabs! Where's your fighting spirit? PX? The Grand Slam Champion? This is-

EP snaps his head towards KB, an intensity in his eyes.

EL PABLO: I'm broken, KB! I'm the chicken in a charming hippy's serenade inside an Animal House!

KB and Colin stare quizzically at EP.

EL PABLO: ..No bones! Come on, Colin, I figured YOU would've gotten that!

Colin shrugs.

EL PABLO: ..asshole.

Colin throws his hands up in the air, fingers outstretched.

COLIN MOCHRIE: LIGHTNING ROD!

EP smiles again, struggling in vain to stifle laughter.

EL PABLO: Look.. I'm sorry, you guys.. I just don't think I can do it.

EP goes to melodramatically place a forearm over his face, but this proves to be a mistake, as the slightly forceful impact causes yet another large dose of pain to shoot through his wrist and head.

EL PABLO: ARGH! F**KING PIECE OF F**KING SHIT SCAFFOLDING! F**K!

KB stares at EP as he's in a fit of rage as does Colin.

KRIMZON BLAZE: You know EP... I never thought I would be the one to say this... but what the hell man?!? El Fuego is one of the top draws as a tag-team and it'd be a real shame to just hand a no-show victory to Disasterpiece of all people! I mean yeah we're broken, beaten, battered, and bloody, but that's never stopped either of us before!! I took a damn piledriver from the ring apron onto the floor and i'm still breathing!! I should be dead right now from that move, hell, I still even have nightmares about that night! If anything EP, we at least have to give it some effort in taking DP down a few rungs... You've even said so yourself on Whose Line: The Human Blood-Bank and The Aerial Specialist, El Fuego, back in the saddle again! What say you?!

KB extends his hand out toward EP

COLIN MOCHRIE: Okay, even I agree with what Blaze had to say, that was just awesome.

EP looks at Colin, then over to KB who still has his hand stretched out.

EL PABLO: So what you're saying is.. you want me, a man who just wound up on the losing end of one of the most violent, brutal, and downright insane matches of the year, if not this company's bloody history; a man who is lying beside you here with 90% of his body covered in casts and bandages; a man who the hospital staff are unsure will even be walking properly in 2 weeks, let alone be fit to compete in a wrestling ring, to go up against a 6'7", 300+ pound monster, who derives a sick pleasure from inflicting incredible pain and suffering on his opponents, and who has - among a great many other things - taken apart the not-exactly-lightweight team of Total Mayhem SINGLE-HANDEDLY?

KB just continues to stare right into the eyes of his partner.

EL PABLO: ..God damn you, KB.

*sigh*

Alright.. Colin, get Ad ver Tising on the phone, see if we can't get a wheelchair ramp installed at the Garden.. El Fuego is bah gawd gonna roll again!

KB flashes a smile from the turn-around in EP's voice.

KRIMZON BLAZE: That's the El Pablo we all know and love!

Now, you know... Its kind of fitting actually... With the revival of CZW, many tag-teams have come to fruition... El Fuego, Total Mayhem, Disasterpiece, hell, even Buck Nasty is back as well! Its so fitting to know that the tag-team division is slowly but surely getting more and more rounded out now... But this leads me to a particular question... Where in the hell has all of this come from?! Its like a resurgence of sorts to catapult CZW back into THE most talked about federation this side of the planet... Its been awhile since El Fuego has had any sort of opponents in awhile, what with the constant scheduling EP and I have been enduring... Me going for the World Title once again only to come up short ONCE AGAIN *sigh* but I won't give up, I refuse to give up... and EP giving it his all at Re-United We Stand only to come up short against Maynard O'Toole whose recently come back as well... So you have to ask this question... Is El Fuego back? YOUR DAMN RIGHT WE ARE!


KB beams a smile again but the pain resurfaces once more in his cheeks. EP raises his fist half-heartedly into the air.

EL PABLO: Woo! Yeah! By hook or by crook, wrestling boots or wheelchairs, kicking, screaming, bleeding.. as long as there's life in these bodies, and twinkles in the eyes of all the CZW fans out there.. El Fuego will make their way down to that ring, and give Disasterpiece 100% of everything we have..

You know, however much that might turn out to be...


KB looks over at EP.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Exactly! We've got to give it everything we've got regardless of the state of mind our bodies presumably are. Disasterpiece consists of a looming monster hellbent on destroying anyone in his path and then we have the X-Division Champion... A man who won the very championship I held previously... Now... I know that I might be a bit of hard hearing and probably thick headed has clouded my vision, but did I honestly just hear and see that I don't belong in Main Event status?! Really now?! After all the sacrifices I've put my body through, Mortius dares tell the world I don't belong here?! HONESTLY?! You must have some rather large claims to make against me Mort... I know all about your conniving ways Mort, I wasn't born yesterday you know!

Its people like you that really get under my skin, telling me that I don't belong here... You know what no, I'm done talking, he's pissed me off. Go ahead and finish it EP.


KB goes back to relaxing as he's in a frustrated mood as Colin watches on, a bit shocked.

EL PABLO: ..the state of mind our bodies are?

..Well, I dunno, Kaybes.. with the show still over a week away as we lie here.. *flashes deadpan look to the camera* ..I can't even begin to imagine what either BB or Mortyarse might have to say about us.

As far as "Sleazy Entertainment" goes, I know you've had your beefs with him over the X-Title, but as far as I'm concerned his always been what we'd describe in my country as "a boy". A "geezer". A "top lad". He's doing "Mr Pioneer" here proud as the long-running holder of the aforementioned belt, and with him currently grasping hold of the KoC, and preparing to unleash it upon a ready-and-waiting Alan Fiscus, it looks like he might finally start realising the potential that he's demonstrated for a long..


EP stops himself mid-sentence, as he becomes aware of KB just staring at him, somewhat stoney-faced.

EL PABLO: Well damn, sorry KB.. maybe start picking fights with assholes a bit more often?

The obvious tongue-in-cheekitude of EP's suggestion appears to placate the Aerial Specialist, who smirks as he sits back against the wall behind his bed.

EL PABLO: As for Mortyarse, no doubt he'll be crowing about his tag-team victory with The Jackal over me late last year.. of course, that was purely down to Ronnie McChip-on-his-shoulder taking it upon himself to throw the match, before taking part in one of the many post-match mass beatdowns that blighted my reign as World Heavyweight Champion. Still, I'm sure that won't matter to Mortius. In his mind, he's 1 and 0 against The Five Star Superstar, plain and simple, and with his obvious size and power advantage over.. well, both of us combined.. I'm sure he's feeling pretty confident about Disasterpiece's chances. And well he might.. I mean, we're nowhere near 100%, I don't think even you would dispute that.. BUT, if he thinks we're just gonna go out and lie down for him, he's gonna be bitterly disappointed.

KB now leans up again.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Your damn right they will be! How dare a monster, who by the way, should be in a mental institution with Cookie Monster, soil my good name in order to further his own self... You know, its people like Mortius who decide that their too big for their britches, pardon the lame joke and all, but when you get right down to it... I've struggled my ENTIRE life Mort... You haven't seen the things I've seen growing up nor have you ever witnessed shootings around every corner of every day while struggling to make end's meat as my mother and father have done so valiantly, you've NO IDEA the pain and suffering I've had to endure growing up, so you going around on your dumbass talk show placating your egoistical ways while at the same time spewing bullshit from your mouth, you've got another thing coming you tall bastard! Now that's all I had to say about Mort... BB, on the other hand, we're 1 and 1 in this mini-series we've got developing all because of that X-Division Championship... I want that title back at a later date obviously, and we'll settle it somehow someway... Mort...BB... THE KODE OF SILENCE HAS CHOSEN YOU!!

KB then lays back down in his bed and rolls over. EP just flashes another quizzical look at him, a smile on his face once more.

EL PABLO: ..Right. Well, sleep tight, KB. We’re gonna need all the relaxation and quiet recovery time we need to be able to even stand up to Disasterpiece this next Overdrive!

As far as our mix-and-match opponents go.. Gentlemen, we may be battered.. we may be bloodied.. we may be broken.. but, hell, you know us well enough by now to know that it’s gonna take more than that to stop the two biggest little guys in Professional Wrestling..


KRIMZON BLAZE: ..outside of the midgets..

EL PABLO: ..from going out there and giving those CZW fans the spooky, sleazy, FIVE STAR aerial extravaganza they’ve all come to expect! El Fuego will never back down, we will NEVER die, and THAT..

..is a Five Star GUARANTEE!


KRIMZON BLAZE: YEAH! f**k YEAH!

KB suddenly leaps out of his bed and stands up, looking poised and ready for action. Unfortunately, the tray of food recently placed on top of the sheets by the increasingly-exasperated nurse goes crashing to the floor, sending hot food everywhere.

NURSE: Mr Blaze for the love of GOD! I’m gonna have you tranquilized in a second if you don’t sit down and get some rest!

KRIMZON BLAZE: Come on EP! Let’s see it! The dramatic stand up! The unmistakable symbol of mind over matter, triumph over adversity!

EL PABLO: Yeah.. not gonna happen, KB. By the way, you’re bleeding again.

KRIMZON BLAZE: Aww MAN!!!

KB slinks back into bed, wincing as he suddenly remembers his various injuries. The camera slowly pulls back, as Colin assists the nurse in cleaning up the mess. The screen fades to black, but before the feed cuts out..

EL PABLO: You do realise we’re gonna be back here right after the show, don’t you? I told you, Colin Mochrie + XTC = bad times for ol’ EP.

COLIN MOCHRIE: LIGHTNING ROD!

End feed.
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