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| Final Destination: Albany; EP IC BR RP | |
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| Topic Started: Jan 22 2010, 01:55 AM (122 Views) | |
| El Pablo | Jan 22 2010, 01:55 AM Post #1 |
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!
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The scene opens on a city street, bathed in the glow of the midday sun. Both the roads and sidewalks are packed out, as various cars, buses and pedestrians travel across the city going about their daily business. The camera follows the road, floating above the traffic, eventually focusing its attention on a small boy, walking the sidewalk alongside his young mother, a shiny new soccer ball in his hand. The camera continues to tail the child, events appearing rather unremarkable, until a man in his late 40s walks past, a small dog walking in front of him on a leash. The boy, in typical child-like fashion, responds with great excitement to the sight of the canine, turning to watch as it leads its owner away down the street. However, the boy is now no longer aware of where he’s walking, and he promptly trips on a crack in the pavement, crashing to the floor. The impact releases his grip on the soccer ball, which shoots up into the air and bounces into the road, right into the path of an oncoming Audi. The car swerves to avoid the ball, crossing into the oncoming traffic and nearly striking an old Ford Focus. Fortunately, the Ford also manages to swerve out of the way, although the sudden movement sends one of its hubcaps flying off, rolling down the street at some velocity. Due to the slope, the cap continues to gather speed, until it collides with one of the supports at the base of a fruit and vegetable stand. Although the support remains pretty much in place, it is dislodged sufficiently to cause the stand to topple over, sending the produce rolling off down the street as well. Terrified pedestrians literally leap out of the way to avoid the stampede of apples, oranges and watermelons, creating yet more chaos on the busy roads. However, one old woman is caught unawares, and gets toppled to the floor by a rogue pumpkin. She falls into the road, just as the number 60 bus approaches. The driver frantically turns the wheel, causing the bus to veer wildly around the woman.. and crashing into a Starbucks on the other side of the road, exploding in a huge fireball upon impact. As absolute pandemonium sets in, the camera spins 180 degrees, bringing into view a courthouse. The camera zooms in on the main entrance, where CZW superstar El Pablo, and Head of Publicity Adam ver Tising can be seen walking out through the doors, neither man looking in the best of moods. Adam is dressed in a smart black suit and tie, while EP is dressed in jeans and a suit jacket, with his mask as ever covering his face. EL PABLO: I can’t believe this, man! Alan Fiscus snorts fake cocaine off the World Heavyweight Championship belt and gets off with a mildly-heated phone call, yet I chow down on a few faux-magic mushrooms, and I’m hit with a big old fine due to “corruption of the youth”!? What the funk is that about!? Adam just shrugs. AD VER TISING: People just don’t look up to Fiscus like they do you. Parents know he’s a bad influence they want their kids to stay away from, but I daresay no soccer moms are gonna have a problem buying an El Pablo poster for little Johnny’s wall. EL PABLO: Yeah, but.. AD VER TISING: I also don’t think the judge appreciated you wearing your mask. I told you it was strictly OOC! Now EP shrugs. EL PABLO: Hey, I’ve already compromised my image enough apparently, I’m not gonna let it completely go to shit! ..maybe offering the head of security a Five Star Experience was a mistake, however. AD VER TISING: Ya think!? EL PABLO: How was I supposed to know she was the judge’s wife!? AD VER TISING: The matching wedding rings? EL PABLO: I’m fairly sure more than two people in this city have the same wedding ring, Adam. AD VER TISING: Yeah, well.. EL PABLO: She can hold me in contempt any time she wants, though.. AD VER TISING: Stop it. We’re already late for the promo shoot because of you. EP checks his watch, grimacing as he sees the time. EL PABLO: Ooh, we are! What bus were we supposed to be getting? AD VER TISING: Number 60, I think.. At this point, both EP and Adam spot the carnage just up the street, as fire crews try desperately to extinguish the flames from both the bus and the building. EL PABLO: Hmm.. AD VER TISING: Oh my GOD!!! Do you realise we could have been on that bus, had you not made us late!? EL PABLO: I think I saw this film.. AD VER TISING: You’re making jokes!? We could be dead right now, EEPZ! EL PABLO: Yeah.. you’re welcome, by the way. Anyway, come on, we’d better try and fix ourselves a ride to the shoot. EP wanders out of shot, but Adam just continues to stare at the burnt-out shell of Number 60, his eyes and mouth open in shock. After a few seconds, EP returns, tapping him on the shoulder. EL PABLO: Come on, Adam! If death has a design, it’s probably not a good idea to stare it in the face. Andalé! With some hesitation, Adam follows EP’s lead, the camera tracking from ahead as they make their way down the street. After a few silent moments, EP takes it upon himself to restart the conversation. EL PABLO: So.. you never told me what my match was this week. Adam still appears to be in somewhat of a daze, but he manages to snap himself out of it. AD VER TISING: Hmm? Oh, well.. you’re in an 8-man battle royal to determine the new Number One Contender to the Intercontinental Championship. EL PABLO: Wow, that sounds co-wait.. determine? AD VER TISING: Yeah.. why, what’s wrong? EL PABLO: Well, surely they don’t need to determine the new Number One Contender? Surely I’ve already got that honour? AD VER TISING: What do you mean? EL PABLO: Erm, my rematch clause!? I still haven’t cashed that in, remember? AD VER TISING: Pabs.. I dunno how to tell you this… ..there’s no such thing as a rematch clause in Combat Zone Wrestling. EL PABLO: Eh? AD VER TISING: Never has been. EL PABLO: Damn.. then why’s everyone always going on about them? Adam shrugs again. EL PABLO: Well.. that’s UNFORTUNATE… EP and Adam stop in their tracks, as the suddenly-large amount of bass and reverb in EP’s voice slowly echoes away. EP cocks an eyebrow, hands on his hips, as Adam scratches his head. EL PABLO: Well that was weird.. Adam looks over at the AV crew behind the camera. AD VER TISING: You guys hear that? The camera helpfully shakes from side to side, giving the audience an indication of the crew’s collective answer. AD VER TISING: Hmm, just some kind of freak ACCIDENT, I guess.. Another confused exchange of glances ensues, before the two shake heads and continue on their journey. After a few moments, EP begins to chuckle to himself. EL PABLO: Heh, looks like this is an El Pablo promo FEATURING Satan… The two stop again. AD VER TISING: Erm.. yeah.. featuring Satan and EL PABLO.. The two now look visibly freaked-out, as EP mentally runs over the highlighted words. AD VER TISING: Unfortunate.. Accident.. Featuring.. El Pa- EL PABLO: You know what? Let’s just stop talking! Mmkay? The two continue walking down the street in awkward silence for a few minutes. Eventually, Adam plucks up the courage to continue the conversation. AD VER TISING: So.. you wanna know who’s in your match? EL PABLO: ..Can you tell me without using any ominous-sounding words? AD VER TISING: ..Probably not, no. EL PABLO: Ehh, go on. Hit me. Adam promptly swings a fist, socking EP in the face and sending him crashing down to the pavement. After a couple of seconds, EP staggers back to his feet, not seriously hurt, but checking his nose for any signs of injury. EL PABLO: What the hell man, really!? Even Rave jokes are more up-to-date than that! AD VER TISING: Heh, sorry, couldn’t resist.. Anyway, your opponents. First on the list is a man you know better than most in CZW: The current Television Champion, Godzilla Sawyer. EP flashes a smile at the mention of the artist formerly known as The Working Man. EL PABLO: Really? That’s cool. It’s like a throwback to the good old days, me, Sawyer and Chadwick fighting it out for the X-Title! I don’t think I ever did get him back for stapling my forehead.. Still, this isn’t the time for that. I like Sawyer though, great competitor in the ring, an even better guy outside it. AD VER TISING: Plus, he’s single-handedly helping you work your way into Hollywood’s A-List, what with all those Union Productions you’ve guest-starred in. EL PABLO: The man knows how to utilise my talents, what can I say? But yeah, I’m honestly pretty stoked to be going up against him. It’s been too long. If I end up on the outside before the match is through, I’ll be rooting for him to take it home. AD VER TISING: Alright. Next on the list is the ever-changing face of Mike King. EL PABLO: Ahh, Mike King! Once again the face of Youthful Aggression. I believe the last time we met, it was in a Greenhouse Match. Obviously I won - of course I won, what self-respecting wrestler doesn’t win their own signature match? - but King gave me a hell of a fight. For that, I respect him. HOWEVER, he did take part in the assault of my good friend Mike Monroe at There Will Be Blood, so for that, he’s owed a superkicking over the top rope. AD VER TISING: The third competitor.. heh.. Frank Finch. EL PABLO: Finch? Really? Wow, there’s an endorsement for the power of buddying up with the World Champion if ever I saw one! Two matches, two defeats.. f**k it, let’s go for the hatrick eh? Three on the bounce for the jumping bean against Mickey Rourke! AD VER TISING: Mickey Rourke? EL PABLO: The Wrestler.. AD VER TISING: Ah, yes! Nice. EL PABLO: Thankyou. AD VER TISING: Contestant Number Four.. and quite the opposite, might I say.. your friend and mine, Krimzon Blaze. EL PABLO: Of course it is.. Heh. Well, if I were a more selfless man, I’d offer to step aside and let KB win this one, seeing as I pretty much ruined the chances of El Fuego becoming tag champs for us last time out. But, that wouldn’t be fair to the fans, it certainly wouldn’t be fair to KB, and goddammit I want to fight O’Toole and actually beat him for once!!! KB, sorry it’s your waist that had to leave New York naked. Let’s make it right in the best way possible, by ensuring that one of us is named as Number One Contender! AD VER TISING: Number 5 is obviously yourself.. EL PABLO: Brilliant competitor. Amazing athlete. Inspiration. Should really be Number One Contender anyway. I want his babies. AD VER TISING: And number 6 is the Ultraviolent Champion, Brian Kirkland. EL PABLO: Wow, El Fuego vs Youthful Aggression, huh? That’s cool, gives me and KB the chance to exact double the payback for Mike’s beatdown. BK, don’t get me wrong, I like you. I was obviously one of the main guys in your corner when you were defending the honour of hardcore wrestling against Justin Marsham. But what you did to Monroe at the Pay-Per-View? That was a bitch move, man, pure and simple. I’ll put that down to youthful exuberance this time, but rest assured, if there’s any more of it.. I’ll show you what ultraviolence REALLY is. AD VER TISING: Strong words.. EL PABLO: Fighting words. AD VER TISING: Now, the final two places are gonna be decided by qualifying matches earlier in the show. The first slot is gonna go to the winner of a triple-threat match between Kimo Newton, Caleb Walker and Zodiac Thriller. EL PABLO: Shit, it’s a proper old boys’ showcase, this one! Hmm.. well, as much as I like Kimo, and sympathise with the stuff he’s going through right now, I think he’s in over his head here. Caleb’s always been a big nasty bastard, but it now seems he’s managed to couple that with some actual intelligence! As for Zodiac, well, what can you say about this guy? The first EVER CZW World Heavyweight Champion.. a former tag-champion.. unofficial XTC ally.. the Superstar Without a Scar.. ..well, maybe not the last one so much anymore.. Still, the guy’s a legend, and I’ve been waiting a long old time to get in the ring with him again. Make it happen, Z-man, make it happen! AD VER TISING: The people would love to see it, no doubt! The final spot will be whoever wins between Johnny Kerosene and Rob Wright. EL PABLO: Two more good picks, the bookers have done well with this one! Well, if we use the Timmons ruling, Johnny’s already a two-time X-Champion here, so that’s something to be applauded. He isn’t, of course, but still, the guy’s got a lot of talent, and no doubt a big future in the business, so I look forward to the possibility of seeing what he’s made of in person. As for Rob, well.. is he still Mr Money in the Bank? AD VER TISING: I believe so, yes. EL PABLO: I thought there was a year limit on that? AD VER TISING: ..He’s only held it since Hatewave. EL PABLO: ..Really? Seems longer, heh. Ah well, anyway, he’s abandoned Timmons, finally, which is cool. Anyone teaming with that guy is destined to go nowhere fast. Just ask KB. I do, repeatedly. Hehehehe. The guy’s held a bit of an Indian sign over me since he’s come to the CZW though, I don’t think I’ve managed to beat him yet, despite us facing off.. twice? So hopefully we’ll at least draw this one, so I can say some sort of progress has been made! AD VER TISING: Heh, confident as ever. EL PABLO: You know me! The two continue to walk the streets, as silence falls once again for a few moments. AD VER TISING: Where are we walking to, anyway? EL PABLO: I dunno. Call Jesse and have him send us a limo, will you? AD VER TISING: A’ight. The two stop, as Adam digs out a cellphone. Suddenly, a cluster of sandbags comes crashing down onto the pavement, right on the spot where EP and Adam would have been had they kept walking. EP cocks an eyebrow, and looks up at the sky, trying to find the source. EL PABLO: You’re not a superstitious man, are you Adam? The scene fades to black. Edited by El Pablo, Jan 22 2010, 02:03 AM.
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