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The Pancake Chronicles I & II: Plague Of Butterflies; Knox Harper vs. Mike Monroe
Topic Started: Feb 5 2010, 01:24 AM (76 Views)
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Plague Of Butterflies: I) Losing The Sunsets
Cold was the air that the evening wind brought
Silent and so quiet were the woods
On the eve of that night.
Don't know what I stayed there for so long,
So long that I could hear that voice.
The whisper we all avoid.
Sound from within, the quiet truth

-Swallow The Sun

"Now where the f**k is my fork?" -Knox Harper

...




Wasted opportunities...tarnished dreams...spilled syrup. Things that I've become accustomed to nowadays. No matter how hard I try to combat these demons...the more they try to tug on my patience. L'eggo my Eggo's, bitch.

That's right...those are MY Eggo waffles...Aunt Jemima don't live here no more.

It was with these words that I picked up my vintage 2000 Dora The Explorer banjo, and began to strum a small melody...


Hey Aunt Jemima...
I've always loved the way you've tasted...
I know there's a thousand brands...
But girl, tonight you are my favorite...
Yes you are...
Let's go for a ride in my car...
We won't go far...

POOOUR THE BOTTLE OVER MEEEEE
POOOOOOUUUR THE BOTTLE OVER M----


A banging sound is now heard from my hotel room door. The hotel manager...damn it.

Gustavo The Hotel Manager:
HEY! Come on now...my other customers are trying to sleep!



"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Uhhh...no speako the English, senior.


Gustavo The Hotel Manager:
What? I'm not even speaking Spanish! Now you're gonna cut this noise out, or you're gonna leave.



"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
OCCUPADO!


Gustavo The Hotel Manager:
What a f**king idiot...


And with that...he was gone. I took this opportunity to put my beloved banjo back into it's carrying case...a Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers backpack from 1995. I'm a very vintage collector of all things vintage, you see. Power Rangers are awesome. Dragonzord ftw. Anyway...ooh, a squirrel...no wait...it's an EP promo. What was I saying? Oh yeah... I put my banjo away and took out the most awesomest, is that a word? IT IS NOW!...the most awesomest action figures ever!

MINE AND SHANE'S!

Posted ImagePosted Image
[Chuck Taylor and Tyler Black action figures are properties of Texacide Customs]



"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Hey Ryan...how are you buddy?


"Straight Edge Assassin" Ryan Shane's Action Figure:
I'm doing fine today Knox buddy. How about a pancake?



"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Ah, Shane..how droll of you. How ambidextrous of you, even.


Knox begins to move the action figures over his pillow, and looks up at the lights now...he closes his eyes, as we zoom into the brightness...

......



Plague Of Butterflies: II) Plague Of Butterflies
Silent people walking by.
They are leaving, again someone is living.
They don't seem to be well,
Quiet death on their faces

Buried a few of them today,
The children and the old by the road.
I could give them shelter but they decide to go...

-Swallow The Sun

"Sin eats away at the soul of society like a ravenous cancer, devouring it until there is nothing left but a black vast hole of despair."


"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Mike Monroe. The Misfit. The All-American Nightmare. One half of the CZW Global Tag-Team Champions. Boy...I reckon you're in the wrong town. This is Harperville. Population, Me. And the percentage of those put down...is you.


Knox Harper emerges from the white light and voice-over..into our view. He is dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, Chuck Taylor sneakers, a pair of black sunglasses, and his hair pulled back into a ponytail. We see a bottle of wine floating near Knox. Harper takes the glass and begins to pour the substance onto the white floor...


"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Wine...they say...gets better with age. It's what they say that Jesus turned his blood into...


Knox now smashes the half-empty glass bottle onto the floor, sending hundreds of shards sprinkling into thee air, and back down onto the ground... Knox wears a sly smirk across his lips...


"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
So we're supposed to put our faith, and our trust..in an alcoholic? We're supposed to acknowledge him as our Lord and savior? Never! You should accept Brian Kirkland into your life, as your savior... and if you think that I'm unbelievable...then I am your Jesus.


Harper takes a few steps forward now..looking into the camera...


"Straight Edge Assassin" Knox Harper:
Mike Monroe...I know alot about you. What you fear...what you desire. I know alot about your tag-partner too. It would be a shame if tragedy were to fall upon him...before his match with MY tag-team partner...now wouldn't it? Yes... Mike Monroe, come overdrive...you're not just stepping in the ring with a putz who likes to have fun...no...you're stepping into the ring with an assassin. Here's an army reference for you, in case you don't understand. One shot. One kill. All it takes. And whether I rip you apart with the Edge Of The Blade...or knock your f**king lights out with the Miserable Pancake...one thing is for certain...I am leaving Kentucky, victorious...and hell...I might even shave your head, and bring back some old memories.


I'll see you in Lexington...


A black butterfly, flutters across the screen now, as Knox extends his finger to catch it. He removes his sunglasses, as we see that he is crying what appears to be blood...we zoom into the blackness of the butterfly....



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