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No Random Thougths...just an RP; sorry no code...don't have time...
Topic Started: Jul 22 2010, 10:43 PM (183 Views)
bignasty
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CZW Elite Role Player
***Act I: The Wake up Call***

**Open scene on the inside of a hotel suite. It's a nice looking room. The colors are pleasing to the eye; gold and burgundy. The room is rather large. There is a large flat screen TV resting on the wall and sitting just above a very nice sized bar. There is a leather couch across from the bar and TV. Several feet away from the couch is a King Sized bed. The sheets are disheveled, and there is a large man, literally hanging off the edge of the bed. There is a foot off the end of the bed, and off the left side as well. His hand is hanging off the right side of the bed, as well as his head. There are two night stands made of a very nice dark Oak on either side of the bed. There is a lamp on both night stands, and alarm clock on one, and a black wired phone, as well as an iPhone on the other. The sun is obviously up, as obvious by the semi lit room, and the bright light protruding from behind the curtains. As the camera finishes panning around the room, a loud noise begins to fill the room. It is "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. The camera focuses back on the area of where the bed is. You can see the iPhone lighting up and moving about the night stand. As the ringtone gets louder, the Big Man sits straight up in bed, looking somewhat possessed.**

Big Nasty: "JENNY JACOBS VAGINA!"

**Big Nasty snaps out of whatever sleep enduced stupor. He begins to look around for his phone, but has yet to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. He reaches over to the nightstand that has the alarm clock on it. He grabs it, and litereally rips it off it's cord, out of the wall. He puts it to his ear.**

Big Nasty: "Hello. Hello!? HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**Big Nasty looks down at the alarm clock, and notices what it is. He then throws it across the room. By this time, the phone has stopped ringing. Big Nasty raises his arms up, and begins to stretch.**

Big Nasty: "SceeeeeerrrrrrwwwwAH!"

**Big Nasty looks around some what confused.**

Big Nasty: "Where in the hell did all my hookers go!?"

**Big Nasty looks around some more...his look changing from more confused to pissed off.**

Big Nasty: "DAMMIT! They took my Heroin! That's the last time I take advice from El Pablo about hookers!"

**Big Nasty stands up from the bed that he litereally dwarfed. He is wearing black UnderArmour shorts that fall to just below his knees. He's got that wonderful morning surprise that lets you know you have to take a leak. He dissapears into the bathroom, and begins to pee. It litereally sounds like a horse is pissing in the toilet. After about a of continuous flow, it stops...but then becomes sporadic. It then picks back up, as if he were in mid stream. Finally, it ends. The toilet flushes, and Big Nasty washes his hands, and emerges out of the bathroom, wearing a black wife beater along with his black UnderArmour shorts. He walks over to the night stand and picks up his phone. He starts fingering with it, and then begins to call somebody. The iPhone looks like a playing card in his hand. He puts it up to his ear, and you can hear it ringing.**

Big Nasty: "Yo, you called?"

Unintelligable Voice on the Other Line: "Yes, I've got seven figures for you for what you did at the last show."

**Big Nasty begins to pace around the room, as he continues the conversation.**

Big Nasty: "What kind of business are you running here? I think I've made my point clear with this chump. What else could you possibly need? I've got him in a cage in the very near future, I think he's done-cakes!!"

Unintelligable Voice: "I dont' care! HE NEEDS TO PAY! YOU DON'T MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL! I'M ----"

**The phone cuts out just before the voice goes to say it's name.**

Big Nasty: "Woah! Ease it down there skippy! He sure does need to pay, but you need to pay more! My services aren't cheap, and I don't beat the crap out of people for nothing! Money talks, and I don't think I can hear you!"

**There is a momentary silence on the line.**

Big Nasty: "You still there? You know, I can always just let him torture you, and make your life hell like he always does! You make the call here turd, I had a good thing going, and I chose to come back to help your sorry ass!"

Unintelligable Voice: "Fine, I have two and a half mil for you. I'll pay you at the next show. That's a job well done, but it's an unfinished job!"

Big Nasty: "That's more like it. Now you need to get to work on getting me that title shot! It's all well and good that I get to beat his ass across a steel cage in the very near future, but I need some gold, or you better believe I'm out of here! Gold equals money, Big Nasty wants money...so if you look at the simple math...Big Nasty plus gold equals lots and lots of money for me! I'm the most dominant big man in the cZw, and I just got done proving it when I made monkey nuts Williams and Mountain in my ass Man look like complete fools! When I took Alan Fucknuts to the woodshed, and made him scurry away like the little rodent he is. You're supposed to be getting me a good deal here, and now I'm going into a match against a TIMMAY Timmons, and Waylon "Wacks other men off" Krew! And on top of that, I have to do it by myself!"

Unintelligable Voice: "You do realize it's a tag team match right. You know, with your tag team partner. You guys make up the new tag team Gods Amongst Men?"

Big Nasty: "Not ringing a bell."

Unintelligable Voice: *sigh* "You went and scouted him out during the 'Bad Ass Invitational' and told me he could be your protege."

Big Nasty: "I got nothing!"

Unintelligable Voice: "Sometimes Big Nasty, I wonder about you. It's 'Canada's Finest!'"

Big Nasty: "OH GOD! I'M TEAMING UP WITH TIM TIMMONS AGAIN...wait...I thought he was my opponent!?! What in the HELL was I thinking!? WAIT! That means it's no tag match it's a three way!"

Unintelligable Voice: "No no no! It's Edward Croft, and it IS a tag team match. He's taken the moniker of "Canada's Finest". He won the 'Bad Ass Invitational'. He's got a lot of promise in this league. He's just a rook!"

Big Nasty: "Oh man, don't scare me like that! I couldn't handle another go with Timmay! My back still hurts from carrying his fat ass across the tag team division! Who in blue hell would want to take anything from Timmy boy! I mean, c'mon, the guy couldn't spell his way out of a kindergarten spelling bee!

I could see it now! Timmothy...spell Cat....Tim would reply....QTA!

I remember when he wrote me that appology letter after he stabbed me in the back. It should have been written in crayon! But I digress. I still stand by my statement. I have to do this by myself. Now, that being said, if I can handle Slap Nutz and Tweedle Dick with Krimzon Blaze as an appatizer, I can handle Timmay and Waken-off Krewz. I mean, the two guys stacked ontop of eachother don't have the talent that I have in my beard! By the way, my beard isn't that talented that's why I shave...in case you were wondering."

Unintelligable Voice: "Nasty, you need to focus. Timmons has some history against you...and that doesn't bode well for you!"

Big Nasty: "DID I SAY I WAS DONE!? Ok, now where was I, before I was so RUDELY interrupted! Oh Yeah...they are talentless slobs who couldn't hold my jock! I eat pieces of shit like that for dinner!"

Unintelligable Voice: "Wait...you eat pieces of sh-"

Big Nasty: "Oh Hardy Har HAR! You watch Adam Sandler. You can mimick a movie! How original and INTELLIGENT! You just shut your damn mouth you dirty hermaphordite! Leave the creativity and funny stuff to me! You suck at life, and I am done talking with you! I say good day to you sir!"

Unintelligable Voice: "Wait Bi-"

Big Nasty: "I SAID GOOD DAY YOU CUNTHAIR!"

**Big Nasty hangs up the phone and tosses it on the bed. And walks over to the bathroom. You can hear the shower being turned on. As he works in the bathroom, you can hear Big Nasty talking to himself.**

Big Nasty: "Christ! You tell a man, you'll take out his biggest problems, for the right price, and he thinks he can give you career advice! What in the hell was I thinking! What in the hell am I thinking teaming with a rook! I mean, I know I'm good, and I don't really need anybody to back me up, but now I have to mold this kid into the picture perfect image of Big Nasty. I have to show him that he has a Nasty side that should be unleashed on anybody who gets in his way. And on top of that...I HAVE TO WHOOP HIS ASS in the Money in the Bank match at....well...insert cZw Pay-Per-View name here.

It's a shame that I have to get in the ring with Timmay and his butt budy Sir Whacks-a-lot Krew. I mean, give me a break. I like beating the ever loving crap out of Timmay, and using him as my personal rag doll, but after a career of doing it, it just gets old! And Krew is a big bubba, but he's calls himself a weedwacker!! What's he going to do, mow my lawn, and water my shrubs? I've had more intimidating lawn gnomes than him. I'm not really intimidated!

I think the cZw creative heads have lost their edge. I mean putting me in the ring with Tim Timmons whom I've pwned for my whole career. I think the heads of the Dubya are trying to distract me from my real goal, beating Alan Fucnuts all over the arena. They're putting in these distractor matches in front of me. Ha! They're like stupid answers on a multple choice test. Hmmm...what is 2+2. Answer A is 4 Answer B is 0, answer C is 22 and Answer D is Your Mom's Vagina!

I mean, the obvious answer is your Mom's Vagina! Why in the hell would they put numbers on that test! God some people are just MORONS! Oh...and if the camera crew is still out there...GET OUT OF MY HOTEL ROOM WHILE I'M IN THE SHOWER HOMOS! I swear Alanso still works for this company sometimes."

**The camera crew leaves the room as the scene fades out.**

***Act II: The Workout***

**The scene opens up on the inside of a limo. Big Nasty and Edward Croft are sitting in the back. Big Nasty is wearing black slacks, a white button up shirt with the top three buttons unbuttoned, and a black sports coat. Croft is wearing an orange and yellow leisure suit. After several minutes of silence on the ride...Big Nasty looks over to Croft, with a look of disbelief.**

Big Nasty: "Eddy boy...I gotta ask. What in the hell were you smoking putting THAT on!?"

Croft: "Ummm...smoking? I don't think so. Nasty my man...THIS is the look of success!"

Big Nasty: "Success!? You look like a creamsicle took a shit...and there you are!"

Croft: "Nasty my man...you have a LOT to learn about style! So...are you ready to go meet Richard Simmons?"

Big Nasty: "Are you kidding me!? I can't wait...I love that man! He's a rock and roll GOD! It's fitting that we go meet the front man of Kiss...a God of Rock and Roll, and I am a God Amongst Men!"

Croft: "What in the hell are you talking about!? WE are God's Amongst Men, and not Gene Simmons...R--."

**Big Nasty interrupts Croft by putting his hand in Croft's face.**

Big Nasty: "WE are nothign yet! You have to prove yourself rook! And you don't need to tell me about Richard Simmons... He innovated Rock in a Disco era. He made everybody want to rock and roll all night...and party every day! He made blood in your mouth and pyro cool! He's a legend! That, and he has a tounge that could please even Jenny Jacobs!"

**Croft has a blank stare on his face.**

Croft: "I don't get it."

Big Nasty: "You know...she's a whore...it's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...she's like a doorknob everybody gets a turn...she's like a tv, one touch turns her on...need I say more?"

Croft: "Ummm, she's not a slut...she's straight edge."

Big Nasty: "Yeah, she takes a long hard straight edge right in her pleasure hole! Or both! This conversation bores me! What are you going to do to ensure that Timmons...well, he wrestles like the Timmons I know and destroy, and that the Cock Wackin Krew doesn't come near me with any part of his body?"

**Croft takes a moment to think about what he's going to do. The lightbulb clicks, and he goes into his strategy.**

Croft: "Well, I first off...I belive it's Weed Wackin Krew...."

Big Nasty: "I don't care if it's "2 Live" Krew and you start singing "Me So Horny!" What are you going to do to keep his grubby man pleasing hands off me!?"

**Croft chuckles a little bit at the statement Big Nasty just made. He looks up at Big Nasty, and sees that his face is not in a joking fashion, so he stopps giggling, and goes straight to business.**

Croft: "Fine, it looks like we'll have to do a divide a conquer strategy. You can take out Timmons, and I'll handle Krew!"

**Big Nasty begins to chuckle.**

Big Nasty: You want to "handle" "Wacken Off You" Krew!? You're a sick freak...but whatever gets the job done! I mean, I can't say anything...I wrestled on the same team as Alanso B. Fyne!"

**Croft just looks confused.**

Croft: "Who!?"

Big Nasty: "ROOK! Know your cZw history before you get into a conversation with me! I'm an original! I know I wasn't here when you first came into the game...but DAMN just do some research! So, I don't really know much about "Wacken the Weeds off" Krew. I know Timmons, and I can pretty much beat him with my eyes closed. So it makes sense that I take him out...but can you handle the powerful hands of "Wack Master" Krew!? I hear they're strong from all the "Weed Wacking" he does!"

Croft: "Are you a moron? How can you tell me to know my history, yet you know nothing about one of your opponents?!"

Big Nasty: "WOAH ROOK! Put those breaks on...your job was to watch the film for me, and brief me up on what to expect. I thought this whole partnership was crystal clear. You are the Rook...you do the work...I show up, whoop ass...and look good. You carry the bags, and sleep in the van, while I use your money to pay for my hotel. You pay for dinners, buy the rounds, and take the ugly one while I order the steak and lobster, drink Cristal, and take the hot chick back home for a ride on Nasty Mountain! Wasn't that clear!?"

Croft: "What, did I sign a contract? I came here to wrestle, whoop ass, and work with a legend."

Big Nasty: "Ok rook, you can whoop ass take names, and all that other generic crap. But from now on, you're no longer allowed to speak unless spoken to! I'm tired of the buffoonery! I'M THE LIVING LEGEND!"

**The car goes quiet for quite some time. Big Nasty sighs, as Croft sits there in complete silence.**

Big Nasty: "You're boring me! Where did the conversation go!?"

Croft: "But you told me to--"

Big Nasty: "BUT nothing! Speak rook...SPEAK!"

Croft: "Fine...I think we have a good chance at beating these guys. They aren't a real tag team, just a random pairing, and Tim Timmons is on their team. Krew is pretty good, but by himself, he can't really hold a torch to Gods Amongst Men. If we divide and conquer...forcing Krew out of the match, and just beating the living hell out of Timmons, we'll just have to make sure that Timmons doesn't know what hit him, and keep him in a state of confusion."

Big Nasty: "Sounds good rook. I'll make sure the Timmons wishes he never stepped back in the ring with me! I'll make sure that he knows that I am the better man...the LIVING LEGEND! Now lets go meet KISS!!!!!"

**The limo stops, and Big Nasty jumps out of the limo. Croft just looks to be in pain at this moment from the confusion and conversation that he just had with Big Nasty. Croft gets out too. The scene fades out, then fades back in with Big Nasty standing in a lobby of a hotel. He has now put on a Gene Simmons Kiss Mask, with the tounge hanging out. Croft walks up, looks at Nasty, and just shakes his head.**

Croft: "I'm going to tell you one more time...we are meeting Richard Simmons...not G--"

Big Nasty: "How many times do I have to tell you that I know...I love Kiss, and I can't wait to meet this rock legend. Quit talking and ruining the moment!"

**Just as Big Nasty says that, Richard Simmons enters the room, with his crazy Jew-fro or White man afro for in other words. And his chest hair, and short shorts and tank top. Big Nasty rips off his Kiss mask, and throws it at Croft. He starts at a dead sprint toward Richard Simmons. Simmons sees Big Nasty, and begins to run away.**

Simmons: "Big Nasty! What are you doing!? The warm up hasn't happened!? Stop chasing me! Now get those knees up, and breath in...Breath out...breath in....breath......ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

**Before he can finish his motivational breathing speech...Big Nasty hits Richard Simmons with a Clothesline from Hell, sending the excentric workout guru flying through the air in a twisting summer sault motion. He hits the ground, and before he even knows what hit him, Big Nasty picks him up, and sets him up for the Nasty Bomb. Big Nasty hits the Nasty bomb, but Simmons was out before he even reached the ground. All you can hear is the thud of Simmons' body hitting the ground, and the air escaping his body, as he crashes against the tile. Big Nasty stands over the top of Richard...breathing hard. Croft comes running up behind Nasty, pats him on the back.**

Croft: "That was amazing! Just do that in our match, and we're guaranteed to win!"

**The scene ends with Big Nasty standing over Simmons, and Croft fist pumping in the air in victory.**

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