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Live Radio Interview
Topic Started: Aug 6 2010, 12:25 AM (63 Views)
Deleted User
Deleted User

(The scene opens live inside of the 94.9 radio station. I’m sitting across from the man known as David “The Wolf” Hightower. He is the big shot radio producer of this station. He decided to invite me on as a guest so I figured why not. Easy money! Besides it’s another opportunity for me to vent my frustrations with the CZW.)

“I am here live with the man himself! He is The Hoodlum From Hawaii! Kimo Newton!”

(I smile looking into the microphone as they play off the audio of fans cheering.)

“Sup.”

“Now Kimo a lot of rumors have been circulating the CZW as of late concerning you.”


(I raise my eyebrow looking at him. Rumors? Oh good!)

“Well you definitely perked my interest there David. I’m listening.”

“Well Over the past few weeks we’ve heard you venting your frustrations about the way the CZW has been treating you and how it’s being ran. Many people speculate that you’re quitting the CZW soon.”

(I let out an amusing laugh before answering the question.)

“Believe me when I say that is not true. I’m not leaving until I have the world title around my waist!”

“It’s funny you mention the world title. Now please for all of my listeners explain to us why you should be the world champion right now.”


(I take a deep breath. I knew this was coming but don’t worry I’ve preached my case time and time again.)

“Why should I be the champ?! I’ll be more than happy to tell you why! I’ve been busting my ass off in this federation since I first signed up! I’ve taken on some of the best this place has to offer! And then I get harpooned into the Tower Of Power match and I got mugged by the straight edge losers of the CZW. But despite that I was still able to make it to the final level! Even though The Jackal won that opportunity I still say it was tainted. I wasn’t at a hundred percent! I went through hell while he had plenty of time to relax! So finally me and him faced one on one. Look at what happened David! He couldn’t beat me! Even with the Jackal Lock locked in I refused to tap! And then basically Jackal ran away like a scared little bitch! He couldn’t beat me! And then he gets the title shot?! Why the fuck did he get the title shot when he couldn’t fucking beat me!?”

(The words just come flowing out like a broken faucet. I’m completely fed up with this bull shit.)

“But Kimo what about the Intercontinental title. You have a shot at that title coming up at Hatewave.”

“Yeah I got at as basically a “thank you for coming gift” like this is some cheap game show. I don’t even want the fucking title! Why should I want the damn thing when there is the world title huh? I deserved that shot and everyone knows it! And you know what? I’m not even going into that match wanting the title! I basically am going in there to kick Mike King’s ass! He wants to run his mouth saying how great he is and how straight edge is the way of life? I think this mother fucker is high for even thinking with that mentality! Oh and now he’s all offended because I show no interest in his title? I’ll fucking wipe my ass with that title! That thing is a second rate piece of crap!”

(It’s the truth. Why would I want to be considered second best?)

“Wow those are some strong words Kimo….”

“I’m not even done yet! I wasn’t booked for the next show… Then I was booked against a guy who does lawn care… And then I wasn’t booked for the show after that! I deserve better than this! I am the most talented wrestler this federation has and I’m being treated like garbage! I don’t get booked… I get fed the bottom barrel’s worth of competition… It’s bad enough I don’t even get the world title shot I deserve but now I’m basically not even getting coverage! You know I gave Mike King The Reality Check off the stage and through the electrical equipment down below and I didn’t even get an article on the official CZW website at all?! Why am I the only one who sees anything wrong with this?”

(I cross my arms clearly bitter. It’s almost like someone has shoved a piece of orange peel in my mouth. That’s how bitter I am.)

“Well Kimo I can see why you’d feel that way from a business stand point. But this coming Overdrive you are booked in the main event! You, Mountain Man, El Pablo, And Maynard O’Toole will face Alan Fiscus, Garret Williams, Sam Attic, and Mike King. What are your thoughts on this booking?”

“What are my thoughts?! I think this is the worst booking job yet! So great I have the pleasure of facing Moe, Larry, Curly, and that one stooge no one remembers, Shemp! Yeah great… Fiscus and his family mesh well together. Hell they spend Thanksgiving together and know eachother and will work well together! Look at the crap I have to work with! First off I have 2 giant anchors on my team right off the bat! Mountain Man… Are you serious? He’s a big dumb ass giant yeti who hasn’t beaten anyone worth mentioning in years! Then we have El Pablo… The straight edgers are all over my ass because I drink rum? They should be all over this mother fucker since it’s obvious he’s on crack! Look at this guy! He’s a pink squirrel thing… I don’t even know where to classify him! He’s not even Spanish! He had a Led Zepplin song as his theme for the love of god! This guy is nothing more than a walking freak show! It’s like he fell asleep in a closet and it regurgitated him and this is what came out! Nothing makes sense with this guy! Is he related to Flava Flav?!”

“I wouldn’t know Kimo…”


“Seriously he walks into his damn living room and asks himself what he wants to wear today… Hmmmm I think I’ll wear the clock off the wall around my neck and the lamp shade! YEAAAAAAHHHHHHH DOOOOOOOOOG!!!! Don’t make me want to puke!”

(I say using a highly off impression of Flava Fav.)

“You know Kimo a lot of people compared you to Flava Flav with the whole Yeah Dog! Thing.”

“You don’t hear me saying that anymore do you mother fucker? I’m too pissed off to even do any of my trademarks anymore! In the last 4 days I’ve gotten like 4 hours of sleep! That’s how mad I am! I listen to Alan Fiscus’ little promo. I’m filler?! I AM FILLER?! Where does he get off calling the man who beat The Jackal filler huh?! AND DON’T TELL ME IT WAS A DRAW!!! He ran away! I was in the ring walking around! I was fine! That was no draw! He ran away! It can’t be a draw if I wasn’t out cold! See
I want that scum bag to ask himself this… If he faced me instead of The Jackal would he still have the title? I have more hunger than The Jackal! I have more heart than The Jackal! And you know what? I AM BETTER THAN THE JACKAL! Fiscus may think I am just a thug from the streets of Hawaii but you know what? GOOD! He claims my arrogance will be my downfall? His ignorance will be his downfall! He ain’t shit in my eyes! Who has he beaten that is worth mentioning! Oh and did I mention he got his ass kicked by Godzilla Sawyer who looks as if he swallowed an entire Old Country Buffet?!


(The words coming out are laced with spit like a snake spewing venom.)

“Then shouldn’t Sawyer get a shot at the world title?”

“I swear to god If Godzilla Sawyer gets a shot at the world title before I do then I will fucking wrap a base ball bat around his fat ass skull! I’ll bust him open like the fat ass piñata he is and steal all the candy that comes out!”

“Ok look Kimo we are getting off topic… What about Maynard O’Toole? You didn’t say anything about him.”

(I take a deep breath before continuing on.)

“What is there to say about the guy?! All he has done is basically prove to me that he sucks! He got his ass handed to him by Brian Kirkland for the love of god! And you wonder why I’m pissed? This team I’m with is full of circus freaks! This is some fake ass bullshit you know that? People need to get real! Alan Fiscus isn’t the champ. I’m the real champion! People should be calling me the world champ! Not him! I’m arrogant?! How can he call himself the champ when he hasn’t even defended the title against me! I am not the problem here! He is! He is nothing more than a disease that is killing the CZW! And I swear to god when the day comes that when we’re in the ring together and the title is on the line… I will do more than take the belt. I will punch a hole right through his god damn head! I will end his career for good! I will be the executioner pulling the kill switch on his career. He says I don’t deserve the shot? I think he’s ducking me! He’s avoiding me like the plague because he knows that I would destroy him in the ring. Mark my words Fiscus… Your days as champion are numbered… And soon you will realize that you weren’t really the champion at all.. And that I was the real champion the entire time!”

(Clearly viewers are going to be stunned hearing all this coming from me. But really I’m the type of guy who doesn’t give a damn what others think.)

“Wow… Kimo you really are fired up. Well you will get your chance this coming Overdrive to get your hands on Alan Fiscus.”

“You know what? This match is stupid! I may not even show up! Even if I do win what is it gonna get me? It won’t get me the world title shot I deserve! It won’t raise me up the ranks at all! It won’t get me shit! So it’s a pointless match! Almost as pointless as the bull shit match I was booked in against Waylon Krew!”

(It really is a valid point. What is there to gain?! It’s pointless!)

“Now we have time for one more question. How do you feel about Theresa Baines the new CZW General Manager.”

“She is cold solid proof that anyone can get a job here! You know I literally tried doing research on the CZW Database to find what her credentials are? Wanna know what I found? NOTHING! It’s like they are just giving jobs away like it’s free samples at the grocery store! How do you think I feel about her? Look at what I’ve been dealt since she arrived! I was not booked for 2 shows and I’ve been booked in the most useless matches imaginable! I LOST 2 PAYCHECKS BECAUSE I WAS NOT BOOKED! You know I still have a set of rims and an entertainment center to pay off! You ask me what I think? You know what? I say this. If shit doesn’t change then I may very well walk into her office and deck her myself! I am tired of this shit! But you know what? Call me whatever you want. I don’t care anymore! There is only one name that truly matters! KIMO NEWTON!!!”

(And with those words said I stand up and throw the head set down and storm out of the studio slamming the door behind me.)

“And just like that ladies and gentlemen he’s outta here! After the commercial break we have a segment with Kjell Bjorge with “Hey I have a strange question.” Today’s topic is the question of who invented the front lawn and why do we need it? We’ll be back in a few!”

(The scene fades to black as the commercials start playing.)
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