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| Yes Kimo.. I'M Gaga...; EP RP | |
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| Topic Started: Sep 3 2010, 02:32 AM (173 Views) | |
| El Pablo | Sep 3 2010, 02:32 AM Post #1 |
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!
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The scene opens inside a large, lavish hotel suite, the early morning sunlight streaming in through the large windows that provide the occupants with an awe-inspiring view of Sydney, Australia. The camera slowly pans around the room, showing various suitcases and bags strewn around. Clearly these particular occupants don't concern themselves too much with unpacking, perhaps suggesting a lifestyle with regular and rapid relocation. The camera continues to pan around, peering through the doorway to what is presumably the bedroom. There, we see a woman, stood at the far end of the room with her bare back to the camera, her long blonde hair flowing down between her shoulderblades. Her bottom half is covered with a pair of tight-fitting jeans, which she appears to be fastening as she comes into view. The woman finishes dressing herself, then turns and heads into the main part of the suite where the camera is situated. It is only now that we see who this woman is, the distinctive black and pink mask instantly revealing her to be Cristal, partner and valet of newly-crowned CZW X-Champion El Pablo. Cristal appears unaware of the camera's presence as she walks across the room, instead making her way straight over to the couch, upon which a recently-activated laptop is resting. She sits herself down, and places the laptop on her lap. As she busies herself doing whatever it is she might be doing, the camera pans over to the left slightly, as El Pablo himself steps through the doorway from what appears to be the kitchen. He is dressed in "street" clothes, although his mask is, as ever, covering his face. The X-Title belt hangs somewhat-loosely around his waist, and in his right hand is a bowl of Cheerios, which he is happily tucking in to. EL PABLO: Morning, sleepyhead! EP smirks at Cristal, who turns and flashes her a wry smile of her own. CRISTAL: Shut up, this is the first time in, like, 2 months you've been up before me! EL PABLO: And I always get shit for it, so... Cristal responds by sticking her tongue out at EP, who responds in kind before making his way over to the couch and taking a seat beside his partner. CRISTAL: Hey look, the new Kimo Newton promo is online! EP leans over to get a better look at the screen. EL PABLO: Fire it up, baby! Cristal theatrically clicks a button on the keypad, cueing what can best be described as a “cacophony,” a torturous combination of crashing, smashing, grunting, yelling and high-pitched screaming. The two wince as the “promo” plays out, although EP doesn’t appear disturbed enough to stop eating his Cheerios. After what feels like 7 hours, the “promo” finally ends. Cristal exhales, and rubs her face with her hands, as EP raises a finger in an apparent attempt to clear his ear holes. CRISTAL: WOW… EL PABLO: Hmm.. he seems angry. I wonder what his beef is… CRISTAL: I’m gonna take a wild guess at.. everything. EL PABLO: Certainly looks that way. Derek Damage, Theresa Baines, Mortius, Alan Fiscus, El Pablo.. CRISTAL: Don’t do the third person thing, PLEASE! EL PABLO: ..Brian Blaze, Waylon Krew, Mike King, Jackal, the Intercontinental Title, the fans, the Marketing Department, Straight Edge AND Alcohol… CRISTAL: Yeah, that’s a weird one. He spends however many months waging war on Youthful Aggression and the culture of Straight Edge as a whole, only to then pretty much turn Straight Edge himself? EL PABLO: Whilst cutting a promo that Captain Buzzkill himself, Brian Kirkland would be proud of, no less. CRISTAL: Exactly! EL PABLO: Well, Cristal, it’s very simple really.. Kimo Newton is a f**king nutcase. I mean, pretty much everyone employed by the CZW is a LITTLE insane, but this guy is taking it to a whole other level! Not even Timmons does irrational outbursts like Kimo Newton! CRISTAL: What was it that sparked it off again.. not getting a World Heavyweight Title shot? EL PABLO: Yeah, something about a draw against the Jackal not equalling a defeat, and therefore OBVIOUSLY equalling a shot at the WHC. CRISTAL: Obviously… EL PABLO: Quite. I mean, you’ve never lost to ANY of the former World Heavyweight Champions of this company, despite being on the roster pretty much since the beginning.. surely YOU should be right up there as far as Number One Contenders go? CRISTAL: Yeah, me vs. Mortius.. blatantly gonna win that shit! EL PABLO: Heh.. BUT, here’s where his plan gets even more genius! See, Kimo’s obviously accepted that technicalities and straw-clutching aren’t gonna get him that World Heavyweight Title shot he so CLEARLY deserves.. so instead, he’s taken to throwing a massive bitch-fit every time he’s on CZW TV, in the hope that eventually Theresa Baines will give him a shot for no other reason than to shut him up! CRISTAL: It’s always worked in the past, right? EL PABLO: Yeah! I mean, just look at the successful WHC reigns guys like Rave, Caleb Walker and Ronnie McNeil had! ..Oh no wait, they DIDN’T become WHC, that’s right.. because they were too busy bitching and moaning, and not busy enough proving their worth by stepping up their game and earning their spot. ..Or, you know, teaming up with someone already in the picture and riding their high-rolling coat-tails. Either/or. CRISTAL: Hey now! You got to where you are because you knuckled down, worked your ass off, put on a hell of a show and - most importantly - won matches when it mattered! Surely, after yet another odds-defying victory two weeks ago at Hatewave, no-one would be foolish enough to think otherwise? A wry smile spreads across EP’s face once again, matching that already visible on Cristal‘s. EL PABLO: Oh, I dunno hun.. I have a feeling some people out there in the ether STILL see me as nothing more than a mascot.. a fake.. a gimmick.. an extra in a Lady Gaga music video. CRISTAL: Will these people never learn? EL PABLO: I don’t know, Cristal.. I just don’t know. You’d think that, after nearly 3 years of overcoming the odds, punishing people’s underestimations, and - most importantly - winning every meaningful piece of gold going in this company.. people would have awoken to the idea that maybe, just maybe.. El Pablo is actually a pretty damn-good wrestler. Surely, anyone capable of sound, rational thought would have realised that completely writing me off before the bell rings is the absolute WORST thing one can do! ..But then, as we’ve just witnessed, Kimo doesn’t look like he could even SPELL sound, rational thought right now. Meh.. whatever. If I can overcome cool, calculated competitors like Cage Stryker, Justin Marsham and Eric Collum, I should have no troubles proving an irrational psychopath like Kimo Newton wrong. Irrationality equals mistakes, uncontrollable anger equals LOTS of mistakes, and lots of mistakes.. equals yet another sweet, sweet victory for the Five.. Star.. Superstar. EP leans down, and clicks a button on the laptop, causing the quality and style of the camera to change. It now looks as though we are viewing through the laptop’s integrated webcam, looking up at EP as he peers over the shoulder of Cristal to look us in the collective eyes. EL PABLO: Kimo.. I know you think you’re the "Greatest".. and I’m sure you think there’s "No Way" you can lose this match. But let me tell you something.. this “Retro Dance Freak” is no "Paper Gangsta!" And, this week.. when CZW hits Sydney "Second Time Around".. "You And I" are gonna be feeling some real "Bad Romance"… And let me tell you something, "Silly Boy".. I’m gonna leave you feeling "Speechless," "Starstruck," and ANYTHING but "Wonderful." ..Kaboom. EP and Cristal stare intently down the camera lens. CRISTAL: First Ke$ha, and now Lady Gaga, huh? EL PABLO: ..Poker Face. The scene fades to black. Edited by El Pablo, Sep 3 2010, 02:34 AM.
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