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Sadistic Memoirs & Socially Indept Hardware Stores; Krew RP
Topic Started: Sep 13 2010, 03:14 AM (112 Views)
Waylon Krew
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United States Champ
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The camera pans in on a fairly large hardware store. Suddenly, a screech of a car is heard off-camera. The people entering and exiting the store stare in the direction of the noise in a startled fashion. A busted up 1990 Chrysler Le Baron rolls in to the parking lot, now visible on camera. It stops in front of the store (not in an actual spot), with a trail of smoke traveling up and blending into the air behind it. There is a sheet of plastic where a car door should be, forcing the driver to squirm to the passenger side and get out there. He shoves the door open, almost knocking that one clean off, and gets out, a smirk on his face. He mockingly salutes the camera, which is fairly distant of him. Suddenly, the Le Baron begins to roll down the parking lot. He seems to notice but doesn’t do anything about it. He walks to the front entrance of the store as the Le Baron collides with a concrete wall and suddenly – EXPLODES. A huge ball of debris and fire lights up the parking lot, and the tens of people in witness gasp and scream. The man, Waylon Krew, stops as he’s opening the front door, looks at it with one eyebrow up, shrugs, and enters the store, followed by the cameraman.

A petite bell rings, the common thing to signify someone has entered the store. Krew puts his hands on his hips, his lips angled in a satisfied fashion. The store is a hardware store.

He walks down a few feet, his eyes examining everything in sight. He passes the first section, the paint section, and walks straight to the what would be considered the “lawn trimming” section. He eyeballs a couple of mowers, but his eyes really brighten up when he sees an entire section of just weed wackers. He goes over to them and examines them intensely. He picks one off the wall and holds it, even swinging it around as if he were in a match. A worker notices the negligent behavior and begins to walk over.

Krew notices the worker far before he arrives. He lays down the wacker at his side and stares at him with one eyebrow up. He’s barely over five feet tall, with the thickest glasses ever known to man. His hair is short and spiked like he’s a wannabe teenager and he has a blonde sole patch…even though his hair is dark black. He has a putrid scowl on his face as well.

He walks up to Krew as if he were the biggest man in the world, the scowl getting worse. He looks at the weed wacker in Waylon’s hand, then back at Waylon’s eyes. Waylon’s eyebrow remains up as if he doesn’t understand what the hell the hardware store worker is doing. His eye contact remains with the worker, who is hesitant to meet them. The name tag on the worker’s jacket says “JOVAN”. Though he doesn’t look the least bit Hispanic…

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Excuse me, sir, but I will not tolerate this behavior from you.

He pushes his thick glasses off the bridge of his nose and farther into his forehead. Waylon’s eyes still haven’t left the worker’s face and the eyebrow is still up. Finally, the expression dies and Waylon smirks at Jovan. He puts his hand on his shoulder, mildly frightening the guy.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Sir, do you watch Combat Zone Wrestl…

Krew stops dead in the middle of his sentence to examine the guy one more time, and shakes his head in disgust.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
…of course you don’t. But what I do for a living is basically cut people up with weapons. And you know, I need a good feel for it before I buy it.

Jovan looks at Krew with his mouth wide open like he didn’t know what the fuck Krew just said. Suddenly, he grins, his teeth so white it’s scary.

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
You’re John Kramer!

Krew looks at the excited Jovan in the strangest way his facial muscles could produce.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
What? I...no, I’m not…he’s not even a real pers…

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
I love those movies sooo much! I love your work, you know! I have the entire box set of those films…I didn’t care for the fifth one too much, but I like the rest! I can’t wait for the new one, either!

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
First off, dude, John Kramer isn’t real, he’s a fictional character in a fictional movie. Second…

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Of course I know it’s not real, I don’t think Batman is real either. Well, I used to, actually I made my own suit and tried being Batman and it’s really hard. I mean I thought you know you put the suit on and you’re the dark knight, kickin’ people’s butts all night. Maybe I should have wore a hockey pad but that would’ve made me a fake Batman, like in that new movie, which I love even more than the Saw movies, no offense, Mr. Kramer. And I remember the night I tried to glide in the air like Batman did in the movie, I fell right on my…

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Alright, alright, dude, I get it, you like Batman…in a…creepy fashion. But I’m not John Kramer…or Tobin Bell…I’m a young black man, not an aged white man, I don’t see the resemblance there.

Jovan suddenly goes from grinning to gasping in fear. He slowly walks back, reaching into his pocket for something.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
What the hell are you doing? What’s wrong with you?

Out of the blue, Jovan rips out a gun…a toy laser gun.

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Freeze, you demonic hellish serial killer! I have it set to stun, but a flick of my finger could set it to KILL!

Krew stares at Jovan blankly, his mouth positioned in a cynical way. He simply reaches out robotically, takes a hold of Jovan’s wrist and the point of the toy gun, and points it towards Jovan himself. Jovan gasps, his eyes so wide they take up the entire thick frame of his glasses.

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Oh no…please spare me my good friend…please, don’t do it. Please I have so much to live for! I have a wife at home, don’t…please…

Krew’s eyes go as wide as Jovan’s, as he removes the gun from its current position.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
You’re married!?

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
She’s a rabbit…her name is Barbra…

Krew’s eyebrows both pop up and he giggles.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Have you ever heard of therapy?

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Have YOU…KILLER!?

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
I’m not a killer, I’m a professional wrestler. I specialize in hardcore or ultraviolent matches…which involve the competitors brutally beating each other with various weapons. Mine is most notably the weed wacker.

Jovan stares at him, his mouth in the shape of an O. He stays like that for so long that Krew begins to worry if he had frozen. Suddenly, something similar to sound came gargling out of his throat.

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…I get it now.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Really?

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Yeah..umm…no.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Just give me one of this wacker, alright?

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
I’M ON IT!

Jovan hurriedly hops over to where the wacker is by Waylon’s side, and struggles to lift it. After a few seconds of watching Jovan epically fail, Krew uses one finger to lift the wacker up on to Jovan’s shoulders. Jovan then marches up to the front desk with it on his shoulder, nearly colliding with more than a few customers. Krew shakes his head, a blank expression on his face, as he walks over to he front desk to pay.

He hands Jovan the cash, picks up the wacker, and bgins to walk out the store.

{-Jovan the Hardware Store Guy | WTF is Wrong With This Guy?-}
Bye, Mr. Kramer, come again soon!

Krew rolls his eyes as he shoves open the door and finds that there is a crowd gathered around his blown up Le Baron. He shakes his head and walks down the parking lot towards the crowd. He shoves everybody out of the way, gets into the passenger seat of the black, burnt vehicle. He squirms into the driver’s seat and is happy to see that somehow the wheel wasn’t damaged. Although the gage was certainly fried. He struggled to pull the car into Reverse, but did manage to do it. He puts his foot on the gas pedal. The car engine spews out a few ounces of gasoline, but does work. Everyone looks in awe as the car that just exploded begins to drive out of the parking lot. Krew cackles to himself as he sees the people’s faces in his shattered rear view mirror.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
This car just won’t quit.

Krew gets on to the highway and within minutes he arrive at his destination – a hotel. He walks through the front door, the bell hop not asking questions because he knows who he is. Krew walks a flight up to an awfully long hallway of hotel rooms. Brian Kirkland comes out of one of them (revealing this to be the hotel that houses the CZW wrestlers) and Waylon grins at him. Kirkland tries to avoid him.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Going out, Kirkland? Alright, but don’t get too drunk. Hahaha!

Kirkland rolls his eyes as he leaves the building. Waylon rips out the key to his room, walks in, and places the weed wacker on his bed. He lays along side it, as he begins to pet the hazardous weapon as if it were his dearest puppy.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
My newest baby. You’re going to love me. Or at least, you’d better, because I’ll be loving you long time. But the thing that separates you from all of my other sweet darlings…is you’re going to have a little twist…

Krew sits back up to reach into the drawer beside the bed. Out of it he takes a handful of barbs of steel wool. He grins sadistically as he decorates the blades of the weed wacker with the steel wool.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
This is your crowning, my baby. You will be the subject of fear to all who oppose me. I hope you like the taste of blood, my baby. Because you’ll be fed that on numerous occasions. Especially the blood of the men known as Ronnie McNeil…and ESPECIALLY a man who calls himself Godzilla Sawyer. Both those men will be your first meal. And I’ll guide you all the way through it, so don’t worry. All of my babies are nervous the first time they feed, but you’ll get used to it. Trust me. You’re my special little baby, let me tell you that.

Krew stops petting the weed wacker for a second to look out the window at the clear blue skies. He suddenly gets up and closes the shades. It is now nearly pitch black in the hotel room.

{-Father Hardcore | "Weed Wackin" Waylon Krew-}
Ronnie…Godzilla, or Zilla if I may…you two have your own talents. Your own history with CZW and everything related to it. But I have something you don’t…NO remorse…NO signs of mercy…NO conscious. I’m the man who doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. I’m the man who will stop at nothing to win. So my friends…once you feel the wrath of my baby…I will become the number one contender for the Intercontinental Championship. And then the next man to feel the wrath of my baby…will be Mr. Michael King…hahahaha.

Krew continues to laugh sadistically, disturbing the other wrestlers in the nearest hotel rooms. And disturbing the minds and souls of Krew’s Overdrive opponents. Even the weed wacker seems to be afraid itself of what certain demonic things Krew has in mind come Overdrive. Disqualifications or not…Waylon Krew will stop at nothing to annihilate his competitors. You can bet your life on that.

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END RP

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