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| It's Really A Lot Easier If You Hate Me.. Just Sayin'; EP RP DOS! | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 29 2010, 03:23 AM (83 Views) | |
| El Pablo | Oct 29 2010, 03:23 AM Post #1 |
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!
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(OOC: If Slate doesn't post a 2nd, disregard this one. Fucking timezones...) The scene opens on an extreme close-up of two human eyes, currently closed, framed by what appears to be a black and red vinyl mask. Although the eyes are closed, there is enough twitching to at least conclude that their owner is at least a) real, and b) alive. The camera slowly starts to pull out, revealing the mask to be some sort of ghostly demon, with an elongated, distorted mouth, black “U”-shaped eyes, and two small black horns sticking out from the temples. The camera continues to pull out, revealing a red and black “batwing” cape, and a black lycra top with a pattern combining red flames with white bones. It also reveals that, whoever this person is, they currently have their head resting against a vertical wooden beam, with their arms wrapped back around a horizontal one attached to it. The camera stalls at this point, focusing on the figure as they slowly and repeatedly nod their head slightly, presumably deep in some sort of intense thought. However, this thought is interrupted a few moments later by a female voice shouting out from off-screen. FEMALE VOICE: PABLO! What the hell!? The figure’s eyes snap open, and he tilts his head to look down in the apparent source of the voice. EL PABLO: Oh, hey Cris! I’m just trying to get some inspiration for this promo! The camera shifts, looking down - apparently from EP’s viewpoint - at Cristal, stood at the foot of the pole several feet below. She places her hands on her slender, singlet-wrapped hips, her head cocked slightly to one side, apparently rather confused as to why she has discovered her partner in this particular situation. CRISTAL: THIS is you trying to get inspiration? The camera cuts again, now apparently showing Cristal’s point of view. We can now see the exact circumstances of EP’s situation; stood on a small plinth against a large crucifix. He looks around at his immediate surroundings, then just shrugs his shoulders (well, as well as someone can shrug when clinging on to a wooden beam a considerable distance off the ground). EL PABLO: Well, I sure as hell wasn’t gonna play on the irony of Captain Purist getting a shot at a hardcore title after all that business with.. well, you were there, you know. Soooo, I figured I’d try and make some sort of statement on mythology, and my general place within it according to Alexander Slate - hence the monster suit and crucifix.. CRISTAL: ..Controversial… EL PABLO: ..but then I figured, he probably didn’t mean “myth” in the sense that El Pablo as a successful wrestler doesn’t exist. It was probably more a statement that even if someone is the most famous, most revered, most unquantifiably-popular wrestler in the history of a particular company, doesn’t mean to say they’re not capable of finding their shoulders pinned to the mat every once in a while. And of course, he’s right. Hell, my form since I returned to the CZW has been inconsistent at best, to the point where even Kimo Newton can now legitimately claim to have a victory over me! So yeah.. despite all the gold, despite all the plaudits, despite the fact I’ve stood at the very top of the CZW mountain.. I’m not invincible. Well done to you, Alex. Unfortunately, begrudging respect, faint praise and elaborately-decorated statements of the obvious don’t leave me with much in the way of promo ammunition. CRISTAL: Alanis Morissette not sounding like such a bad idea now, huh? EL PABLO: Ha.. I’m still not that desperate… Actually… the more I think about it, the more I started to wonder.. is he trying to convince the fans of my “mortality“.. or himself? CRISTAL: I’ve seen his promos, I don’t think he needs any convincing about his wrestling ability. EL PABLO: A valid point, he’s certainly capable of blowing smoke up his ass with the best of them, no doubt about that. BUT, consider this.. he’s recruited this Lydia May with the sole intention of having her serve as his “Personal Lumberjack”. A third party, brought in purely to try and prevent his opponent gaining an advantage. Now, disregarding for a moment his apparent disregard for the philosophy of the X-Division.. why would he bring in outside help if he was really that confident about beating a “mere mortal” such as myself? I mean, you could argue that it’s balancing up me having you out there with me, but then anyone who pays attention should know that you only ever get involved defensively, when the odds are unfairly tipped against me. We never instigate the handicapping. CRISTAL: This is true. EL PABLO: So yeah, seems a bit of a contradiction to me. I mean, he goes on to talk about how no-one respects him.. What was that expression he used again, the one about the fish? CRISTAL: Erm.. something like, “If I can’t catch a fish, I might as well not catch a really big fish.” EL PABLO: Right. Well, taking that expression further.. anyone can catch a fish if they toss a grenade into the lake. But, is that gonna win you the respect of the other fisherman, who sit out there, day in, day out, spending hours on end just waiting for the perfect catch? No, it isn’t. If you really want respect, then you’ve gotta go out, walk right into the middle of the river, grab that fish with both hands and drag it back to shore between your teeth! CRISTAL: ..Is that good for you? EL PABLO: Hey, if you come back with food poisoning, but still end up with that fish on a plate, wrapped in breadcrumbs and served with a nice big portion of fries, the respect is only gonna be magnified. CRISTAL: ..Unless you give the other fishermen food poisoning as well.. EL PABLO: Dammit, stop complicating my analogy! Cristal smirks, poking her tongue through her lips at EP, who can’t help but smile back. EL PABLO: The point is.. Slate might well manage to overcome the legend at Horrorcore, and realise his dream.. apparently.. of becoming the CZW X-Champion… but if he only manages it because he had help from his valet.. Cristal gasps theatrically, cutting EP off. He glances down at her, letting out a small laugh as she remains frozen in position. EL PABLO: Pffffft… ..If he only manages it because he had help from his “Personal Lumberjack”, then what has he proved? Nothing. He hasn’t proved the superiority of “pure wrestling” over whatever discipline people most want to associate with me. He hasn’t proved the mortality, or debunked the mythology surrounding the concept of “El Pablo”, or at least not in “pure” one-on-one competition. All he’s proved is that he doesn’t have faith in himself to be able to get the job done on his own. And if HE doesn’t have that faith, why the hell is anyone else gonna think otherwise? Plus, he’s not gonna be able to count on that sort of help forever. Sooner or later, there’s gonna come a point where she gets compromised, and is prevented in some way from being out there holding him up.. and what then? It might well be that he gets so used to the crutch of her being there behind him, that he suddenly loses focus, loses confidence, and BOOM… One, two, three.. and his stock falls even further. EP suddenly brings his arms round from the pole, as the camera cuts to a different angle.. revealing that the plinth upon which he was stood was really only a couple of feet off the ground. EP hops down beside Cristal, and straightens himself up as he turns to face her. EL PABLO: It’s up to him, I guess. He can either leave “Alexander’s bitch” on her leash, take me on properly and try and prove the whole world wrong.. or he can try and shortcut it, get himself some fools’ gold and ultimately undermine his own one-man mission. EP turns to face the camera, adopting his best "showbiz" pose. EL PABLO: ..Your call, fisherman. With that, EP turns and walks off screen, as a dubbed-in drum roll leads into the chorus of “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette. Cristal follows just behind, a poorly-supressed smile on her face, as the screen fades to black. |
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