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| Where X Equals... Part 2; Where I did in fact make the deadline | |
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| Topic Started: Oct 29 2010, 04:32 AM (97 Views) | |
| Alexander Slate | Oct 29 2010, 04:32 AM Post #1 |
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I, Alexander Slate, would like to present to you a glimpse. A so-far alternate reality that may soon very well become the future of Combat Zone Wrestling as we know it. Run With the Wolves by The Prodigy plays as Alexander Slate stands proudly in the center of the ring, his X Division title on his shoulder. He receives a very mixed reaction; many boos, but also many cheers. The music fades and he waits a few moments for the crowd to die down before speaking. Alex: So. How about Horrorcore, huh? Great show. Fantastic show. One of the best I've ever seen, I can guarantee you that much. However, naturally I am biased, aren't I? For I did what no one thought I could! I defeated the legendary grand slam champion, El Pablo! Another mixed reaction is heard from the crowd. Alex: Now, I know many of you were fans of El Pablo and hate to see him lose in such disgrace. After all, it was quite the dominant victory I had over him at Horrorcore. Nothing he did could come close to handling my display of technical skill, as ruthless as it was flawless. And once his bones and joints had been rended apart by my submission techniques, well... you all saw, didn't you? The man, sad to say, was as helpless as a fawn. However, I am not here to bring shame to the name El Pablo; after all, he has done enough of that himself. I am instead here to bring glory to this title: the CZW X Division Championship! If nothing else, El Pablo has indeed brought this title up from the dregs and truly made it something of glorious combat, and I intend to keep it that way. Yet another mixed reaction is heard, but now there are a few more cheers. Alex: However, I am not El Pablo. I am nothing of the sort. I have defeated him, and in doing so, conclusively proven that style does not, despite popular belief, rule over substance. In the past, the X in X Division has stood for extreme. It has stood for the high-risk, high-reward nature of its champions. It has stood for the convoluted match stipulations that constituted its title defenses. But that, of course, is not what I stand for. That is not who I intend to be as champion. When I think of the X Division, I think not of X at extreme, but X as the algebraic X; the unknown. Everywhere I go I see untapped potential. From you lardasses in the cheap seats scarfing down peanut-covered nachos to the locker room where quite a few men couldn't find victory with a GPS, inefficiency lurks everywhere, and so few are willing to find it and stamp it out. That is a sad, sad sight to behold. No longer. This shall be a new age of the X Division here at Combat Zone Wrestling, where X is the unknown. X is the untapped potential in each and every one of you to truly succeed, to truly be a volatile combatant! Many of you will deny my words, blinded by your own belief of perfection. I don't doubt this. But those who heed my words, who believe in the power of pure wrestling and substance over style will understand what I believe in, and the rest are all too likely a lost cause. However, that changes nothing. Please, I heed you, fans. Greet your new champion and herald in a new age of the X Division! The reaction is still mixed, but there are substantially more cheers than boos. Alex closes his eyes, drinking in the fan reaction, until he's interrupted by El Pablo's music, which for the purposes of this fantasy sequence has inexplicably been replaced with I'm On a Boat by The Lonely Island. Pablo: Now hold on just a minute! You can't say that match was fair! Alex: Really. Please, Paul, entertain me. What exactly was unfair about our match at Horrorcore? Pablo: Are you kidding me? You have to be kidding! The match we had at Horrorcore was a simple, one-on-one, standard ropes, standard ring, standard referee, one fall to a finish match! Alex: I can't say I'm following you. What part of the match was unfair? Pablo: The match stipulations weren't even remotely ludicrous! I was at a complete disadvantage! How do you possibly expect me to be able to perform in such an alien environment? When I looked out toward the ring and didn't see any chains or fire or tables or glass, I thought I had driven to the wrong arena! Alex: Hmm. I suppose I must concede the point. You were at a severe disadvantage due to your showmanship, your one defining trait, being wholly unable to come into play. I apologize. Pablo: Oh, don't apologize! I've talked Theresa Baines into giving me another chance at the X Division title, a match where I will have the advantage! I challenge you to... The camera zooms to an extreme close-up of Pablo as he delivers his speech with the utmost conviction. Pablo: ...a SHOPPING CART FULL OF JARRED DANIELS ON A POLE MATCH! Daniels: Well, that's certainly- wait, what did he just say? Masters: This is the greatest day of my life. Alex: Very well; I'll humor you just this once. What, precisely, constitutes a... what the hell did you just say? Pablo: A shopping cart full of Jarred Daniels on a pole match. It's quite simple. We get a pole, and a shopping cart, and Jarred Daniels, and... actually I'm not entirely sure. But I am sure to win such a ridiculous stipulation! Am I right or am I right, everybody! The fans, however, soundly boo. One even hurls a 9-volt battery that barely misses Pablo's head. Alex: Don't you get it, Paul? The people have seen through your illusions. You are no longer a legend; you are just a man. The X Division is mine to govern now, and I believe that the age of ridiculous stipulations shall be at an end! The people don't want your pompous flash to distract them. The people want wrestling! The fans cheer Alex as confetti falls from somewhere. Slowly, the camera begins to fade away, to Alex slowly waking in a hotel room... Lydia: About time you woke up. The camera pans over to show Lydia lying on a separate double bed, watching television. Alex: I just awoke from the greatest dream... Lydia thought about that for a second before giving him a glare. Alex: What? ... No, it wasn't that. Although I suppose I shouldn't completely discount- Lydia: I am not your girlfriend. Remember that. Alex: Of course. You are my personal... what you said. Lydia: Manager-slash-lumberjack. Don't forget it. Alex: How could I? Lydia: You just did. You also forgot to set the alarm. Alex: I'm certain I didn't- Oh Christ it's 9:30! I've got a full training regimen today, and now I'm behind schedule! Why didn't you wake me? Lydia: I'm not your mom. Alex: ... Fair enough. Get dressed. Let's go. Dreams aside, El Pablo truly does have the fans brainwashed with his pomp and flash. He plays every note to them and they drink it up. It is truly a sad sight to see that the fans, the very lifeblood of CZW, aren't given the proper choice to even be able to know what they truly want. I know the truth. The fans want wrestling. Mind you, nothing is wrong with a simple stipulation: mixed martial arts is fond of cages, ladders provide a refreshing change of pace to the standard endurance match, and even the kendo stick is but a symbol of a proudly respected martial art. But honestly, Pablo. A greenhouse? Seriously? A greenhouse. What, if anything, do panes of glass have to do with the glory of martial exercise? I daresay they do nothing of the sort. In fact, they are only there to distract the audience, the lifeblood, from the truth: you know nothing of technical skill. You know nothing of true, pure wrestling. You use the panes of glass and chairs and tables and barbed wire and anything and everything else just like your mask: to hide your true self, all your flaws and insecurities, to the world. Don't worry, though. I have neither the want nor the need to remove your mask. After all, why should I expose the man behind El Pablo, when I can instead expose El Pablo as just a man? |
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