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| Amateur Hour!; Fire and Ice Joint rp! | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 8 2010, 05:02 PM (232 Views) | |
| shawnwaters | Nov 8 2010, 05:02 PM Post #1 |
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Cold as Ice
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“It’s ok...I’ll take care of you! You’ll feel better soon!” Shawn Waters opens his eyes to find Ashley Valentine staring down at him. He sits bolt upright, then grimaces in pain as a twinge runs up his back. He looks around. He is in his apartment room. He looks down and finds himself in a hospital gown. Waters: What the hell? Valentine: I couldn’t leave you in that hospital with all those pretty nurses, could I? Waters: But how’d you get me out of there! Valentine: I carried you...duh... Waters: OK...wow... Valentine: I love you, Shawn...I’d do anything to be with you! Even if it means carrying you halfway across Melbourne... Waters: So how long have I been out? Valentine: It’s the 4th of November... Waters: Fair enough...Horrocore was crazy, wasn’t it! Did they catch those renegades? Valentine: Nope...they are still on the loose... Waters: What about my match...did they change it at all? Valentine: Nope...It’s still the tag titles shot... Waters: Sweet...now I get the chance to beat Brian Blaze twice in a row! Valentine: That’s the spirit! Waters: Oh...and one more question... Valentine: Yes, babe? Waters: Why the hell are you still here? Valentine: Shawn...we are meant to be together... Waters: No, Ashley...we broke up over two years ago! Valentine: Shawn...you are delirious! You need to sleep! Waters: No, I don’t...I’m fine...a bit sore, but fine. Why do you suddenly want to get back together? It’s been two years and NOW you come back? Valentine: But Shawn... Waters: Look...it’s good that you care about me...but there have got to be other guys out there... Ashley starts crying...she slaps Shawn and storms out of the room. Shawn sighs. Waters: Great...so, not only do I have to deal with these Damage Control guys...and prepare for a title shot...I also have a psycho ex stalking me... Shawn lies back on the bed. Waters: Still...I did beat Brian Blaze at Horrorcore...and I am the Money in the Bank holder...so it’s not all bad...plus, I get to team up with KB again...I wonder what he is up to... Shawn grabs his phone. He has KB on speed dial and calls him. Blaze: Hello? Waters: *in Indian accent* Hello? Is dis...Krizmon Blaze? Blaze: Uh...yeah? Waters: Oh...hello...My name is Kumar...and you have been randomly selected as our prize winner! Blaze: Look, buddy...I don’t want anything, ok? Waters: You mean you don’t want to win the Tag Titles? Blaze: Shawn? You ass! Waters: *in regular accent* Haha! Gotcha! What are you doing right now? Blaze: Nothing, actually... Waters: Alllllrighty then...I shall come get you! Blaze: Ok then...I don’t have forever though... Waters: Shut it! Shawn hangs up the phone and grabs various items, shoving them in a backpack. He then walks out of his room and pulls out a map. He unfolds it, until it takes up the whole screen! Waters: OK...so I’m here...and KB is here...so if I take this path, take a shortcut here...yeah, I know how to get there... Shawn folds the map back up and walks across the hall. He knocks on the door of the room across from his. KB opens up and smiles. Waters: Hey man...let’s go! Blaze: Where are we going? Waters: Who cares...we’ll be tag team champions after next week...we can go wherever we like! However... Shawn reaches into his backpack and pulls out four pieces of paper. He shows them to KB. Blaze: What are they? Shawn passes the first one to KB. He looks at it. Blaze: The Fender World Guitar Hero championship? Shawn passes the second one to KB. Blaze: The Dungeons and Dragons World Expo? Shawn hands him the third piece of paper. Blaze: The home of Atsushi Onita? Shawn hands him the last piece of paper. Blaze: Ruby productions? Shawn nods. Blaze: What are all these places? Waters: Well...I was just looking at the names of our four opponents this week...and was noticing they each had a gimmick of sorts...the thing is...all they are doing is imitating real life people...but in a comedic fashion! They are taking these people’s lives and turning them into a joke! I decided...we should show these guys just what their gimmicks are all about...let the amateurs look at the pros in action! Blaze shrugs. Waters: LET DO THIS!!! --- Shawn and KB look up. They are standing outside an arena in Osaka, Japan. A large banner is hanging from the roof. ‘WORLD GUITAR HERO CHAMPIONSHIP! SPONSERED BY FENDER!’ Shawn smiles. Waters: I love Guitar Hero...what about you KB? Blaze: It’s alright, I guess...I’m more of a DJ Hero fan... Shawn slaps KB upside the head. Waters: Bad KB... Shawn smirks. Waters: Of course I would not be as good as some of the guys in there...but still...it’s pretty damn fun. But see...Unless I actually won this competition...I just couldn’t see myself carrying a Guitar Hero controller to the ring, pretending I’m a rockstar...unlike our friend Johnny Kerosene... Blaze: Uh...Shawn...Johnny Kerosene plays the keytar... Waters: Same deal...you press buttons...gives you a false sense of musical talent...anyway...Johnny Kerosene walks around calling himself a rockstar...by pressing buttons? Sounds like 90% of hip hop producers! Shawn holds his hand up for a high-five. Blaze just stares at him and shakes his head. Shawn quickly runs his hand through his hair and clears his throat. Waters: Let’s go inside and see these guys in action! Shawn steps inside the arena and looks around. About 100 TV screens are set up, each with a copy of Guitar Hero playing. Shawn walks over to two guys nearby. They are playing ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ from Guitar Hero 3. One of the guitarists screws up, allowing the other to knock him out of the song! Shawn walks up to this guy. Waters: You there! What is your name? Guy: Luke Ang... Waters: Good job at beating that guy! So now you move up in the tournament. Ang: Yeah...but I have to face Freddy Wong... Waters: Who’s Freddy Wong? Ang: Only the best Guitar Hero player ever! Shawn walks away from the guy on the search for Freddy Wong. Ang: Hey...I thought... Shawn finds a crowd of people surrounding one of the TV’s. The song playing is ‘Du Hast’ by Rammstein from Guitar Hero 5. One of the players is completely dominating the other, even turning away from the screen and using various rockstar moves. Eventually the other player throws down his controller in anger and walks off. Freddy Wong removes his controller as people cheer. Shawn barges through the crowd and walks up to Freddy Wong. Waters: You there! Freddy Wong, yes? Wong: Yeah, that’s me... Waters: I hear you are the best player in the world! Wong: Oh, I don’t know about that... Waters: Anyway...I just wanted to ask you something...how much time do you dedicate each day to Guitar Hero? Wong: I play it fairly often...but it’s not my life...I play guitar in real-life, so it was easier to adapt... Waters: Ah! Very good...what about Keytar? Have you ever played one of those? Wong: I figure it wouldn’t be too hard... Waters: Here...look at this guy I know play... Shawn pulls a laptop out of his backpack. He opens it and plays a video. Various shots of Johnny Kerosene (barely) playing his keytar are seen. Waters: What do you think of him? Wong: Amateur...I reckon I could play better than him! Shawn smirks. He puts his backpack down and reaches inside. He pulls a keytar out of the bag. Waters: Here you go... Freddy Wong slings the keytar over his shoulder and begins playing a tune. After knocking out a solo, he smirks and hands the keytar back to Shawn. Wong: Too easy... Waters: You rockstar... Wong: Not really... Waters: You hear that! Even he, the great one himself, can admit he isn’t really a rockstar...he just happens to be good at pressing buttons! Shawn puts the keytar back in his bag and walks out of the arena. Blaze catches up to him. Blaze: Shawn...how the hell does that thing fit in your bag? Waters: I don’t have time to explain, KB...we’ve got a plane to catch! --- The two superstars walk through Nagasaki. They finally reach the house they’ve been looking for. Waters: This here...is the house of Atsushi Onita! Blaze: This guy is pretty legendary in Japan! He basically innovated the death match! Waters: Precisely! Hence why we are here! Our friend, Waylon Krew needs to see the TRUE Father of Hardcore! I don’t call myself the Father of totally awesome Talk Shows, do I? Shawn smirks. Waters: Although that is a pretty bad ass name... Blaze: Uh, Shawn... Waters: Oh...right...watch this Krew...this guy in here will really show you hardcore... Shawn knocks on the door. A man opens the door. He smiles. Onita: Shawn Waters? Blaze looks around for the source of the horribly dubbed in voice of Onita. Waters: Yes indeed! May I come in? Onita: Of course. Would you like some sake? Waters: I don’t swing that way sorry... Blaze facepalms. Waters: So...Atsushi Onita...you introduced the death match style of wrestling to Japan...a country which is now world renowned for its hardcore battles! It is fairly safe to say...that you are the Father of Hardcore...how does that sound? Onita nods. Onita: That sounds very accurate... Waters: Well...would you like to take a look of this video of a friend of mine...he also calls himself the Father of Hardcore... Onita: Sure...maybe we can have a legendary battle one day... Shawn smirks. He reaches into his backpack and starts rifling through it. He finally pulls out a video and puts it on. Various clips of Waylon Krew matches are shown, including Krew running people through with a weed whacker...the video ends, a look of pure shock on Onita’s face. Onita: What has become of the death match? How can someone who has innovated NOTHING call himself the Father of Hardcore...what an amateur! I’ve wrestled against Tarzan Goto...Mr. Pogo...and The Sheik...and now the legacy we built is being tarnished by guys like that! Shawn laughs. Waters: Atsushi does not approve... Shawn bows to the man and walks out of the house. Blaze grins and quickly follows. Blaze: Shawn...you didn’t even say goodbye... Waters: I bowed... Blaze: Well...fine. Did you hear the horrible voice-over, by any chance? Waters: I have no time to explain...we’ve got a plane to catch! Blaze: But I didn’t ask you to expl... Waters: Blaze, hurry! --- This time, Fire and Ice are walking through Tokyo, Japan. They are outside the Tokyo Dome, where nerds from all over the world have gathered for the DnD World expo! Shawn shakes his head. Waters: Dungeons and Dragons...what a ridiculous game! Blaze: Shawn...watch your mouth...these guys could have lightsabers or something! Waters: Lightsabers? Holy shit! Shawn dives behind a car. Waters: Did they see me? Blaze: Shawn? Waters: What’s that brainwashing technique? These are not the...the...something...you are looking for... Blaze: Droids? Waters: No need to curse! Blaze: But I didn... Waters: Oh gosh...ok...act casual... Shawn reaches into his backpack and pulls out a pair of nerd glasses. He puts them on. Waters: You want a pair? Blaze: Sure...it looks like fun! Shawn hands Blaze a pair of glasses. Blaze puts them on. Shawn takes a deep breath and jumps out of cover. Waters: Greetings fellow explorers! A group of teenagers look at Shawn. Teen #1: What his deal? Teen #2: Dude, I don’t know...hurry up, my Chaotic Good elfish rogue is up next in the battle arena... Shawn and Blaze continue towards the entrance of the arena. When he reaches the door, a man dressed like a Dungeon Master smiles at them. Waters: *whispering* Oh crap...we have to try and get past there forcefield! Blaze facepalms and walks into the arena. Shawn’s jaw drops. Blaze grabs him by the arm and pulls him into the arena. Waters: Blaze...you have the force! Blaze: Shut up Shawn... Waters: Fine! Let’s just find someone to talk to and get out of here... Shawn and Blaze walk around looking at the various games of DnD being played. They walk past a shop and spot two nerds arguing over a packet of die. Nerd #1: No! I saw these limited edition crystalline die first! Nerd #2: Give me those! I need those die! Shawn shakes his head and finally finds a group of people doing nothing. Shawn walks up to them. Waters: Greetings! One of the guys turns around and looks at Shawn. Guy: Hey! Would you like to create a character? Or do you have your own? Before Shawn knows it, the group are reading out a bunch of different strategies. Shawn eventually creates a Half-Orc Barbarian...named Dave. He gives him an alignment of Lawful Good. The nerds hand him a D20 to roll for stats. Once his character has been created, the group of people lead Shawn to a beginner’s table. Waters: Wait! I don’t want to play! I just want an opinion on something! The group look at Shawn. Nerd #1: Were you curious as to class is better? Nerd #2: Let me guess...you are unsure about the difference between Chaotic Good and Chaotic Evil? Nerd #3: Or is it... Waters: NO! Look...I just want you to watch a video of this friend of mine...he says he is pretty good... Nerd #2: Oh, sure thing...how many megabytes is the video? Waters: Just shut up and watch... Shawn pulls out his laptop. He plays a video. Various shots of Rosman Ballard playing Dungeons and Dragons is seen, including his character sheet. His World of Warcraft character is also seen. The video ends. Nerd #1: LMFAO! What a noob! Nerd #3: He only has a level 5 character on WoW and he’s been playing as that character for two months now! What a fail! Nerd #2: Plus...who the hell creates a half-orc rogue! That’s an oxymoron! Nerd #3: Tell me about it! ‘The half-orc rogue sneaks behind the villager, his large feet pounding the ground. The villager turns around and flames him!’ The three nerds laugh. Nerd #1: That guy is a definite noob! Waters: Thank you! Let’s go Blaze... Nerd #3: But wait...your character is signed up for the battle arena. Waters: I don’t want him...you have him! Shawn and Blaze leave the arena. Shawn shivers. Waters: Those people give me the creeps! I never thought I’d see the day when a CZW superstar would be associated with them...then Rosman Ballard came along...Don’t worry...we’ll flame that noob! Right C3PO! Shawn reaches into his bag and pulls out a life-size model of C3PO. C3PO: That is correct, sir! Blaze: How the hell... Waters: No time, Blaze let’s go! One last destination... --- Fire and Ice arrive outside of Ruby Productions, Japan’s leading elderly pornography company. Blaze: Shawn...why are we here? Waters: Mostly to gross people out...but also...Brian Blaze thinks he is sleazy? You haven’t seen sleazy yet... Blaze: Yeah...but couldn’t we have gone to Disneyland if we wanted sleazy? Waters: What...and risk running into Miley Cyrus? No way...it took me ages to get rid of that burning sensation! Blaze: Wait, what? Waters: No time, KB...let’s get in and out...heh...get it... Blaze: What? Oh...hahaha, nice... Waters: Heh...OK...seriously now, let’s go! The two men cautiously walk into the building. They walk up to a counter, where a young Japanese girl is smiling at them. Girl: Konichiwa! Waters smirks and raises his eyebrows. Waters: How you doing? Girl: Konichiwa? Blaze: Come on, Shawn...she doesn’t understand you... Shawn and Blaze continue through the building. They walk into a room and instantly run out. Waters: My eyes! Blaze: Argh! That was worse than a Tim Timmons promo! Shawn and Blaze smirk. Waters: Zing! Waters then goes back to gauging at his eyes. Blaze shakes some sense into himself. Suddenly, the door opens and the horrible sight they saw before step out in front of them! Horrible sight: Just who the hell are you? Waters: Jena Cyde...is that you? Not Jena Cyde: No! What’s wrong with you! My name is Shigeo Tokuda! Blaze once again looks for the horrible dubbing! Waters: Blaze...did I just die...I can see the light! Blaze: That’s not the light Shawn...that’s definitely not the light... Waters: Why do I have eyes for!!! Blaze: Sir...could you please put some pants on...your junk looks like Jesse Montana’s face... Shawn and Blaze look at each other and smirk again. Waters: Double zing! Tokuda: You walked in our recording! Now we have to film the scene again! Do you know how hard it is to find virgins in this country! Then getting them to agree to the things we do... Waters: Dude, seriously...how old are you? Tokuda: 74...you got a problem with that? Waters: Yeah...actually I do... Suddenly a door bursts open! ‘Special’ Ed Covey bounds into the room. Covey: What’d I miss? I had trouble drowning my fish... Covey glances at the naked senior’s groin. Covey: Hey, it’s Jesse Montana! Waters: Ed...look up... Ed looks up. Covey: Hey what the...oh... Ed tilts his head. Blaze: What’s Ed doing here? Waters: He was meant to be here all along...thought I’d invite him along... Tokuda: Look...because of you, we’ve had to halt that scene...but we need something to distribute this afternoon...so... Shawn and Blaze glance at each other before screaming. They run out of the building and down the street, stopping a safe distance away... Blaze: Dear god... Waters: Wait a second...where’s Ed!? Back at the building, Tokuda and Ed stand looking out the door. Tokuda: They don’t want have sex with girls? Covey: I don’t think so...I think Shawn Waters is just like Bert and Krimzon Blaze is totally Ernie...right Loki? Ed pulls Loki out of his jeans. Tokuda: What about you...you want to help? Ed looks a Loki. Covey: Loki says he’s in! Ed throws the coconut monkey at Tokuda before walking outside. Covey: Have fun Loki! Back up the street, Shawn and Blaze share worried glances. Waters: Uh oh...we’ve left Ed back there... Blaze: He’s fine...I’d be more worried for the naked dude... Waters: Ugh...why did I go there...that place was way too disgustingly sleazy for me...I can handle the sleaze to a certain point...but Japansleaze is way too much... Blaze: Japansleaze? Waters: I just made it up...it’s a combination of Japanese and Sleaze... Blaze: Yeah, I got it...anyway...are we done now? Waters: Yeah...I think so...I don’t want to know what else this country has to offer... --- Blaze and Shawn are sitting in their locker room in Kobe. Waters: I seriously think I’m scarred for life... Blaze: Nah...that’s Waylon...you’ll get over it... Waters: Yeah...you are right...CZW gold is a pretty good cure...I’m pretty much certain that gold is ours aswell... Blaze: Dude...tell me about it! Waters: Look at who we are up against, all joking aside...Rosman Ballard...who the hell is he? All I know is that he lives with his stereotypical family in the basement...he’s a fat loser! He got pinned at Horrorcore...he’s not a threat! Blaze: He did beat Garrett William? Waters: Really? Hmmm...it’s not like that’s a hard thing to do...everyone can beat Garrett... Blaze: I bet he even beats himself at times. Waters: TRIPLE ZING! The two partners laugh. Waters: Seriously...Ballard is nothing...the only way he’d be a threat would be if had a good partner...but no...Waylon Krew...a bit more respectable than Rosman Ballard, I must say...but still...I’ve faced him before, in the Money in the Bank match...and we all know who walked out of there victorious. Shawn turns and winks, before turning back to Blaze. Waters: I know how to deal with Waylon...take away his weapons and he’s done...the team of Krew and Ballard is not the team we should worry about... Blaze: Blaze and Kerosene...they are one explosive tag team... Waters: Did you mean that? Blaze: Mean what? Waters: That pun? Blaze: Pun? Waters: Nevermind...anyway...you are right...this team is g... Blaze: OH! Blaze...Kerosene...explosive...haha! Waters: Right...as I was saying...these guys have held the Tag Titles for a fair amount of time now...they are one of the strongest tag teams in history...but...each tag team must falter somewhere along the line...for the Spectacle...it’ll be this match! I have the momentum over Brian Blaze coming into this match! I know his moves now...they are fresh in my mind...sure...he knows mine too...but I won the other night, didn’t I? Johnny Kerosene...I’ve never faced him... Blaze: I have...at Summer Showdown...we were both in the Ultimate X chamber...neither one of us got the victory however... Waters: That’s right...Ryan Shane won that match, right. Anyway...this is good...there is only one person in this match who we don’t know about...and he’s a fat loser, so I’m not worried. This match is ours for the taking! Plus...we can finally make up for that last reign we had...we’ll be the first team to win the Tag titles twice! You will be the second ever two time two time champion! Blaze: Huh? Waters: Two time X champion...two time Tag champion... Blaze: Oh... Waters: Yeah...and for me...I haven’t tasted gold since 2008...I need this...did you see that fan post on the CZW site? He calculated every single CZW champions title reigns and ranked them...I’m 28th! Blaze: I’m 11th! Waters: Good for you buddy...but 28th! What the hell! Blaze: I know Shawn... Waters: This match...we have to win...we are simply the best tag team! We have the perfect combination of technical finesse and aerial warfare! We both want these titles...we want to prove that we are able to defend them! We’ve endured the jokes for two years now...you’ve slowly made up for it with a multitude of reigns...but look at me...the very last title I had, I lost four days later...I need this! Blaze: We both do! But H2O...chill out! Like you said...we are the best! We’ve got this! Shawn smiles. Waters: Yeah...you are right...we are in the ring with amateurs! Sure, The Spectacle have one hell of a reign...but thinking back...how many of those matches were won cleanly? The night they won the titles...Jacob Havok interfered...then...Kris Kash attacked Alex Kaelin’s partner...sure, they got a clean pin against YA...but they pinned Kirkland’s bodyguard...so really...they didn’t win, right? Then of course...the Eddie Rowan/Mortius impromptu team! That’s the only match they won cleanly...and it wasn’t against an established team! So really...they’ve yet to prove themselves as a tag team! Now...they have to face Fire and Ice...Mr. Money in the Bank and the Aerial Specialist! They are screwed... Shawn and Blaze smirk. Waters: Let’s go get pizza...do they sell pizza over here? Blaze: I dunno...let’s go find out... Fire and Ice leave their locker room... Waters: Dude...have you heard from Ed at all? Blaze: Yeah...apparently Loki got this huge payout for something...he’s holidaying in the Caribbean now...trying to find Kokomo... Waters: He better get there fast... Blaze: Shawn...take it slow with all these puns... Waters: KB...look! A sign on the wall is advertising a pizza shop downtown. Waters: THAT’S where we wanna go! Blaze glares at Shawn. Waters: Race you...loser shouts! Shawn starts running. Blaze sprints after him. The sun shines through the open doors. Shawn and KB jumps in the air as the camera freeze frames. ‘Kokomo’ by The Beach Boys plays as the scene fades... |
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