Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]


We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
The Guild
Topic Started: Nov 12 2010, 02:16 AM (113 Views)
Deleted User
Deleted User

11/8/2010 Pizza Hut:


(The scene opens outside of a Pizza Hut’s parking lot. I’m hopping out of a clunker of a white panel van. I am dressed in a pair of camouflage pants and a black shirt with the words “FOR THE HORDE!” on it. Out of the driver’s side door The DM hops out dressed in a pair of suspenders and a red shirt.)

“DM man why the hell do you drive this oversized juggernaut of a vehicle?!”

“Heh you said Juggernaut… I’M THA JUGGANAUT BIATCH!”

(I slap my forehead shaking my head. I should’ve known better than to use a word that is a very well known X-Men villain.)

“Seriously…”

“Ross it’s for my business!”

“Business?”

“Yeah man my comic shop!”

(I raise an eyebrow looking at The DM. Since when did he have a business?!)

“Ummm DM…. With all due respect I think you need to have an actual shop in order for it to be considered as a business…”

“Hey I’m saving money in store rental fees! That is a money pit!”

(I roll my eyes as I pull out my cell phone and open it up.)

“Well it seems like this is the place.”

“Who are we meeting here again?”

(I turn to The DM And smile)


“We are here to meet my fellow guildies.”


“Your what?”

“My guild mates in World Of Warcraft!”


(The look on my DM’s face says it all. It’s a combination of perplexed, confused, and what the fuck?!)

“Are you serious Ross?”

“As serious as a fatal disease! We decided that meeting in person would be awesome!”

“Do you even know what any of these people look like?!”

“Not really…”

(The DM turns and gives me a serious look on his face.)

“Ross how do you know these people aren’t murderers?! How do you know that they won’t try to rape you?!”

(I look at the DM with a look of disbelief.)

“DM… We’re meeting for pizza… At a Pizza Hut. And besides if anything your van screams pedophile if you ask me!”

(We finally walk inside of the restaurant looking around.)

“Ross If you don’t know what they look like then how do you know which table to sit at?!”

(I look around the restaurant scratching my head. It is then I spot what appears to be a bald man sitting at a table with a brief case. Curiously I walk over to the table.)

“Vork? Is that you?”

(The man looks at me and smiles.)

“Why yes I am Vork. Level 80 Protection Warrior!”

“Bro it’s me Grandore!”

(Vork looks at me and smiles.)

“Glad to see you made it Grandore.”

“So where is everyone else?”

“Well Codex couldn’t make it, Clara is busy with her kids, and Tinkerbella said something to the degree of she’d rather douse herself in kerosene and set herself a blaze before meeting any of us in person…”

(Well this is turning out to be quite the disappointing trip.)

“What about Zaboo? Bladezz?”

“As far as Bladezz is concerned I didn’t invite him. I’m still angry over the fact he got himself a temporary ban over the fact he said a certain offensive term that starts with the letter f a couple hundred times in the Orgrimar Auction house!”

(I shake my head disgusted.)

“And as far as Zaboo is concerned…”

(Suddenly a young Arabic looking kid around the age of 17 comes to the table with a mountain of pizza on his plate.)

“Yo Vork help yourself to the buffet! They have plenty over there! Oh by the way The breadsticks here are to die for!”

(He says setting his plate at the table before running back to the buffet.)

“Yeah apparently this is the first time Zaboo has ever been permitted to leave the house…”

(I turn to see The DM casually helping himself to the pizza buffet before I turn back to Vork.)

“So what aren’t you going to help yourself?”

“Oh believe me I am and then some!”

(Zaboo comes back with a plate of breadsticks and begins eating like a man possessed.)

“HEY WAIT A MINUTE!”

(Zaboo says before turning to me. God this kid is a spaz.)

“Aren’t you that wrestling nerd guy?”

“You mean Rosman Ballard? Yeah that’s me!”

“No way! You mean to tell me this whole time I was talking to a celebrity?!”

(I shrug my shoulders letting out a laugh.)

“I suppose you can say that.”

“Dude You don’t realize how much of an inspiration you are to us WoW players! You even inspired me to start lifting weights dude!”

(I’m speechless. Apparently now I’m a role model to gamers everywhere. And to think my mom said I’d never amount to anything.)

“Wow that’s something.”

(I say before I turn and walk up to the buffet grabbing a plate. Vork casually follows however I notice he’s carrying his briefcase with him. He opens the case and grabs an entire pan of pizza and dumps it in followed by an entire pan of bread sticks.)

“Vork what are you doing?!”

“What? I’m tight for cash! This is leftovers for all week! You think this pizza would freeze well?”

(You ever have one of those moments where you think you’re friends are complete losers? This is turning out to be one of those moments.)

“Ummmm I don’t know…”

(The DM walks past me with 2 cubs of Mountain Dew. I grab a few slices of pizza and walk back over with Zaboo and Vork who is eating happily.)

“Ok everyone let’s get down to business… We need to discuss about what to do about Bladezz’s actions. He has slandered the reputation of this guild for the last time.”

(I shrug my shoulders unsure of what to say.)

“Well I say we throw him out if he’s that much of a problem.”

“YES! HE IS REPREHENSIBLE!”

(God Zaboo is way too loud for a nerd.)

“Very well… When we get back we shall ask the others’ for their opinions and if it’s unanimous he’s out.”

(It is then that a long haired male wearing a black punisher skull shirt and a pair of khaki slacks.)

“I thought I smelled the stench of nerds over here!”

(Zaboo drops the piece of pizza he was eating looking at the kid. He must be around the same age as him.)

“Bladezz?!”

“How in the world did you find us here?! I never sent you an invitation!”

(Bladezz pulls out a piece of paper with the instructions to the place printed on it.)

“It’s kind of hard not to notice it when it was posted on the forums you moron! Anyway I didn’t come here to crash your party. I just came by figuring you guys would be talking about me. Before you guys make any brash decisions I would like to remind Vork here that he handed over the entire guild bank to me. So if you throw me out then You better start forking over some gold! Anyway Bladezz out!”

(As he walks away the silence over the table is unanimous. No one seen this coming. Finally I decided to speak up.)

“You gave the entire guild bank to Bladezz?! The weakest link of the guild?!”

“Let me explain!”

(Zaboo suddenly chimes in.)

“Vork one night got curious and smoked a blunt. Needless to say his judgment was clouded.”

“That is a damn lie! I was on prescription medication!”

(I roll my eyes not even caring about the reason at this point.)

“Look I keep all my engineering materials in that bank! I’m gonna be pretty pissed if he runs off with all of those! I was planning on making another Mechano Hog for my alt!”

“Look guys I understand you’re upset! We need to form a plan!”

(Well despite all that is going down I will say that this certainly beats the pants off of staying home with my parents! Nothing like sitting home watching mom chase dad around the house with an aerosol can all day.)

“His engineering materials? I still need to make my flying carpet! What about my tailoring supplies?!”

(At this point I can’t even imagine what the other members of the guild are going to say about this.)

“Vork you’re going to have to have a damn good explanation man!”

(The DM suddenly taps me on the shoulder.)

“Ross you might want to see this man!”

(I roll my eyes before turning back to them.)

“One second…”

(I say before turning to the table that The DM was sitting at. He has his lap top set up.)

“Just watch.”

(The DM says as the video starts playing. It is none other than Fire And Ice’s promo. At first it was amusing at best but then things turned a wrong turn. They mocked my D&D skills… They mocked my WoW characters…)

“HOW DARE THEY!!!”

“Ross calm down!”

“NO ONE MAKES FUN OF MY GAMING SKILLS AND LIVES TO TELL ABOUT IT!!!!”

(My face boils with rage as I clench a fork in my hand.)

“I’VE PROVEN MYSELF AT THE ARGENT TOURNAMENT! I’VE DOWNED THE LIKES OF MARROWGAR, LADY DEATHWHISPER, FESTERGUT, ROTFACE, AND THE BLOOD COUNSIL! AND YET I’M A NOOB?!”

(By now the entire restaurant is staring at me but I don’t care… This is personal now!)

“Ross are you ok? Just put the fork down…”

(I grab my cup of Mountain Dew and gulp it down in seconds and fling it over my shoulder where it hit’s a waiter in the head.)

“They will pay DM… They will pay… I will make someone’s blood flow like it’s wine… I may be a paladin… However DM…. I was a barbarian first! And that thirst for blood still is very much prominent! I AM GRANDORE THE GIANT KILLER!!!!”

(Suddenly I stab the fork into the table and let out a barbaric war cry before running out of the restaurant with The DM chasing after me. The camera zooms back to Vork and Zaboo sitting there with a look of shock on there faces.)

“Wow… That was by far the worst case of nerd rage I’ve ever seen in my entire life…”

“What’s worse is he didn’t pay for his meal… That is so getting docked from his bidding points…”


11/11/2010: Osaka Japan, A local game shop.

(So after the incident with the guild I gave Waylon Krew a call. He didn’t seem to be too amused over Fire & Ice’s skits either. However I’m not mad at them. I am more pissed at the stupid ass kids they had in the video. After Krew dropped me off come storming into the shop like a man possessed looking around the room.)

“Where are they?!”

“Ross don’t do anything stupid please! You’ve been acting like an out of control barbarian all week!”

“Acting?! I AM A BARBARIAN!!!”

(Suddenly I spot the kids at a table in the back. I storm over with my binder in hand and slam it down onto the table.)

“So you are the ones who claim I am a noob huh!?”

“Excuse me?”

(The man who is clearly the DM says.)

“Don’t play stupid with me man! Shawn Waters was here showing you guys videos of me playing and you said I sucked at it!”

“Oh yeah I remember! You’re that noob with the rogue orc!”

(The DM stands between us because he knew if he didn’t I would’ve decked him right then and there.)

“Guys! This is a game remember?!”

“No it’s not! This is a lifestyle!”


(This is more than a game to me. D&D is my life.)

“Fine then. Bring out your best character. Prove yourself to us."

“Very well!”

(I say pulling out my character sheet from my binder.)

“You guys all start off right here."

(The man says pointing on the map.)

“Ok I cast Juggernaut’s Rage… All your health is lowered to 9 HP and then I follow it up with Terrifying Screech automatic 15 in damage everyone is dead!”

(The look on everyone’s faces was priceless. No one seen it coming. One of the players starts to cry. The DM has a look of pure excitement on his face.)

“YEAH YOU SHOWN THEM ROSS!”

“Wow… Didn’t see that coming.”


“Call me a noob again… You’ll see what happens.”

(I say as I pack up my character sheet. I then reach over and grab the dice that belong to the player who is crying.)

“You don’t deserve these dice. You have disgraced the name of Dungeons And Dragons! May Peylor have mercy on your soul!”

(I say as I take the kid’s dice and storm out of the store. This was just a small victory for me.)

“Ross you just stolen a 15 year old’s dice!”


“I know what I did DM. But you see… I need to harness this rage. Because coming up in this battle. Me and a very dangerous warrior that goes by the name of Waylon Krew will enter the arena… We will be fighting side by side for top prize! Fire And Ice had disrespected me for the last time! You can insult my weight, You can insult my way of life, hell you can even insult my own momma! But no one insults my gaming abilities! And that is the one thing that will make me want to destroy these guys in this match. I know Krew is about as happy about this as I am. See Waters I like the way you are thinking. It’s always the dark horse in battle you need to worry the most about. I will come in and strike you down with my war hammer! I am more than a man. I am a orc barbarian. You may have won a shot at the world title. But have you ever rescued a high priest from a vampire castle and lived to tell about it? Have you ever looked an army of Beholders in there many evil eyes and stood victorious? Have you ever had a whole entire city fear you due to your achievements? I don’t think so! There is a reason why they nickname me The Giant Killer. Much like what I did to Garret William… I will do to you except you may not come out of it with your body in one piece…”

(I say with a smile as The DM suddenly walks over and hands me a can of Mountain Dew. I proceed to crack it open and start drinking it.)

“Then we have the champions. Very unique individuals. The one is clearly a bard. He uses music to manipulate his foes. It is a very underrated class. I’ve seen bards in battle. They are much like rogues. They sing a soothing melody putting the man to sleep and then when he wakes up? Everything is gone… But see good luck doing that with me. I have the Amulet Of Focussed mind. No sleep, stun, or debilitating effect me! Good luck warriors. You will need it. Whether my fellow companion will bring down his Weed Wacker of Justic or I will bring the fist of Grandore… We will emerge as the battle arena champions! And like I say…. Be a Boy… Or be a man… GET YOUR GAME ON!!!”

(And with those words said I pull out my cell phone and dial it up and hold it up to my ear.)

“Yo Waylon! Yeah it’s Ross! Hey man meet me up at The Glasses Hut! Why? We need to get you a pair of thick framed glasses! Yes I’m serious!”

(And with those words said the scene slowly fades to our sponsoring logo.)


THIS RP WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MOUNTAIN DEW! THE OFFICIAL DRINK OF THE DUNGEON MASTER’S BASEMENT!
Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · RP Archives · Next Topic »


powered by podcast garden
Theme created by Heretic/Hawtsauce and converted by Jenny of the ZetaBoards Theme Zone.