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| okay folks...enough with the gay jokes...; overdrive rp | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 18 2010, 03:14 PM (173 Views) | |
| "Irish" Ian Chadwick | Nov 18 2010, 03:14 PM Post #1 |
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A breeze blows...much like Tim Timmons. It sounds like one of his farts. We look over the Osaka Bay as the sound of Sea Gulls are heard in the background. "Irish" Ian Chadwick leans over a railing...railing...that's a tearm both Ian and Tim's mom are very familiar with. Tim also...anyone who's farts sound like a calm breeze has been plundered by his share of butt pirates. Hehe...gay jokes...but now it's time to be serious. Ian leans over a railing over-looking the Osaka Bay in the Konohana Ward of Osaka, Japan. A cool ocean breeze blows past Ian as he turns so we can see his face. He wears Khakis, a black t-shirt that reads "fuck Tim Timmons" in bold white letters, and a black and white Buffalo Sabres hat turned backwards. The look on his face is not that of concern or fear, but that of relaxation. A slight smerk adons his face as he listens to birds and the waves crashing. A warrior must train his body as well as his mind. Before a match Ian likes to take in the local scenery (bars) and take time to think. And that is why we are here. Ian walks away from the railing and sits on a near by bench. He puts his elbows on his knees and leans forward. The scene flickers with highlights of Ian's past matches. The Three-way Dance to crown the first X-Division Champion with El Pablo and Godzilla Sawyer, then known as "The Working Man," which is still reguarded as one of the most violent matches in CZW history. The Greenhouse Match in which Ian recieved over one hundreded stitches. The Money In The Bank victory. We then see two very similar highlights...Ian crushing Tim Timmons' jaw with a mighty left. The scene dramaticly cuts back to Ian, who now has a smile on his face. "I got your number, Tim," says Ian to himself as the scene slowly fades away. ----the next day---- The scene jumps to the floor of a hotel hallway. It becomes obvious that the camera man is fumbling with the camera trying to get it to start. "It's on, it's on!" comes from a voice somewhere near the camera as the camera man picks up the lens to show CZW's resident interveiwer, Ryan Lewis. He puts the microphone up to his mouth.... Ryan Lewis: We are standing outside of the hotel room of "Irish" Ian Chadwick. I am now going to see if he's here so we can ask him a few..... Before Ryan can finish the door opens. Two young japanese women exit wearing cocktail dresses obviously worn the night before. They giggle to eachother as they walk past Ryan and the camera man as Ian now stands in the doorway wearing only a towel. Ian: See you 'round ladies. (he says with a smile on his face from ear to ear then turning his attention to Ryan Lewis) Ryan! What's up, buddy? Come on in. I just fucked those girls. They walk into the room to reveal the mess Ian has made. Empty beer and liquor bottles are scattered everywhere, as well as Ian's clothes. The bed looks like all of Ian's illegitemate children have been jumping on it for hours. Ian: Have a seat guys. I'm just gonna brush my teeth and put some clothes on. (Ian walks into the bathroom) So, what's going on? Ryan Lewis: I'm here to ask you a few questions about your previous and upcoming matches. We could come back another time. Ian: (popping his head out of the bathroom with a tooth brush in his mouth) Non-sense! I'll be done in a mintue. You guys want a beer or something? Ryan Lewis: It's nine o'clock in the morning. Ian: (voice now coming from inside the bathroom) It's always noon somewhere. Ryan Lewis: I'd really just like to get to the questions. I have other interveiws today. The sound of Ian gargling can be heard from the bathroom. I'd do another Tim Timmons gay joke here, but that's just to easy. He spits and walks out of the bathroom wearing green and black basketball shorts and a black wife-beater. Ian: Alright, alright...don't get all bent out of shape...like Tim Timmons' dick! (laughs) I swear to god these jokes write themselves. You interveiwing Tim today? Ryan Lewis: No, no I'm not. Ian: Well, if you see him...can you tell him to tell his mom I miss her cooking? Ryan Lewis: Sure. Can we get to the interview now? Ian: Shoot. Ryan Lewis: You've recently had some things to say about one of your opponents last week, Riley O'Connor. After last weeks match, do you still feel the same about him? Ian: Listen...I said alot of things about Riley, but the bottom line is the kids got talent. I made some comments about how he's a spoiled bitch and he gives a bad name to Irish-Americans and this and that, but I only said those things to get a rise out of him. Which, much to my disoppointment, did not have the intended affect. He kept his mouth shut and showed up to the ring with his hard hat and his lunch box. I'm honored that he brought his A-game with him 'cause that shows that respect he has for me as a competitor. Do I like the kid? No. Do I respect him? Absolutely. Maybe we can fight one of these days without that kiniving weasel Tim Timmons sticking his nose in it. Write that down, Ryan. That is an open challenge to Riley O'Connor. Ryan Lewis: (turns to the camera) You heard it here first. "Irish" Ian Chadwick issuing a challenge to Riley O'Connor. My next question has it's answer then. I was going to ask you if you would ever like to face Riley O'Connor again. (flipping through his note pad) Ok...here...What are your thoughts on Tim Timons comments about the fluke win at Horrorcore and that you didn't get the win over him in the Thrre-Way Dance because you pinned O'Connor? Ian: Yeah, I heard all that shit. Look...I feel the sameway about the Three-Way Dance as he does. I consider it a victory over Riley not Tim, but a victory none the less. Bottom line is I'm 2-0 since my return in two matches involving Tim Timmons. Both of which I knocked him the fuck out. So you tell me if it's a fluke. Besides...you ever see that guy wrestle? He looks like Perez Hilton trying to grab a sauage out of a crown royal bag. He likes to talk about how he's hardcore and what not, but lets be honest here...the only hardcore he knows is..... Ryan Lewis: Please, don't make another gay joke. Ian: (laughs) Ok, ok. The point I was trying to make is that if Tim Timmons wants hardcore than that's what he's gonna get. I know hardcore, just ask anyone I've ever been in a match with. Ask El Pablo, ask Godzilla Sawyer, ask yourself, Tim Timmons. I don't know what you're so bent out of shape for anyway, Tim. I've made your life a living hell? You're beating up ring announcers and security staff? If you're not getting the results in the ring that you want, beating up innocent people is not the way to go. Maybe you should hit the gym and train a little harder. My final word on this subject is only this...eat a fat dick, bitch. Ryan Lewis: Well...I think we have all we need. Ian: Good...I'm hungry you guys wanna go get breakfast with me? The men converse back and forth as the camera man puts the camera down, again fumbling with it trying to get it off. That sound like how Tim Timmons masterbates. Ok...I'm done with the gay jokes. The scene fades out and all that fun stuff. |
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6:49 PM Jul 11