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| Pixie Sticks and Magic Tricks; Cristal EH QoC RP! | |
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| Topic Started: Dec 21 2012, 04:44 AM (259 Views) | |
| El Pablo | Dec 21 2012, 04:44 AM Post #1 |
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VIVA LA RAINBOWLUTION!!!
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*<3* The scene opens on darkness, which lingers for a few moments before slowly filtering away, delivering unto us the image of CZW competitor, Queen of Combat Championship contender and Girlfriend, Sidekick, Lover, Valet and Confidente to "The Technicolor Tecnico" El Pablo, "The Rainbow Mistress" Cristal, making her way somewhat-hurriedly along a quiet, night-time city street. The top of her masked head is covered up by a nice, big, fluffy, rainbow-squirrel hat, and her torso is wrapped up in a think, pink CZW-branded padded jacket. The camera follows in front of her (shut up, that makes perfect sense) for a few moments, before allowing her to pass as we continue our walk. As the camera turns to film from behind her, it is revealed that we are currently walking along the seafront of Tokyo, the bright city lights reflecting and shimmering beautifully in the gently-rocking waters of Tokyo Bay. After a while, our attentions begin to focus upon a lone figure, dressed in a bright green sweatshirt - hood up over his head - baggy black cargo pants and what look like black fingerless gloves. This figure is currently sitting on a small ledge right by the water, his upper body leant forwards so his arms are resting on his thighs. The camera shifts position again, revealing this person to be El Pablo, who continues to stare glibly down at the water as Cristal silently takes a seat beside him. *<3* EL PABLO: How'd you know I was here? CRISTAL: Well.. I saw what you'd been watching on the laptop.. so I figured you'd be in the mood for some powerful moonlit introspection. I also figured you'd be by the sea, because usually when it's time for a major, significant CZW contest, you like to head out and conduct that introspection in a place from your past that bears some kind of relation to that contest.. but, you know, America is a long way away, and we've kinda got a show coming up in the next few days, so I figured this'd be a "close enough"-type deal as far as you were concerned. As for why you're in THIS spot, specifically? Well.. before I left I pulled up Google Earth, and I happen to know that in exactly that direction... *<3* Cristal points out over the bay. *<3* CRISTAL: ..is the US Bank Arena in Cincinnati, Ohio, the place where you won your first and thus far only CZW World Heavyweight Championship. *<3* A small smile spreads across the face of El Pablo, though his eyes maintain a sense of melancholy as he lifts his head to face his girlfriend. *<3* EL PABLO: You're good. CRISTAL: Well, you know... *<3* Cristal leans in and kisses EP on the head, placing an arm around him and pulling him close for a hug before EP turns and focuses his eyes back on the water beneath his feet. *<3* EL PABLO: I don't think I can beat him, Cris. CRISTAL: Who? EL PABLO: Ryan Shane. I... I don't think I can beat him. Eight times, he and I have faced off against each other... and on seven of those occasions, I've wound up on the losing side.. and the one time I DID pull out the victory... well, to be honest, I don't even remember that happening, so it may as well be 0 and 7 as far as I'm concerned. No matter what I do.. no matter what the situations and stipulations, the times, places and tag partners... the miserable motherfucker just seems to have my number. I mean.. I have poured my heart and soul into every match we've had.. I've been so meticulous and methodical in my research and preparation, b- CRISTAL: Ermmm, well.. no, you haven't. *<3* EP suddenly sits upright, looking into the eyes of his girlfriend with his head cocked inquisitively to the side. *<3* EL PABLO: ..'Scuse me? CRISTAL: Come on, baby... you know that as well as I do. EL PABLO: ...How do you figure? CRISTAL: Well, let's just take a metaphorical look back through the archives, shall we? EL PABLO: Can't we do it literally? The camera's right h- CRISTAL: No, we can't. *<3* EP clasps his hand mockingly over his mouth, as Cristal looks at him sternly. *<3* CRISTAL: Let's think back.. just off the top of my head.. to March 7th, 2011... you and Brian Blaze versus Ryan Shane and Justin Marsham in EWA.. "Too Damn Sexy" against "The Technical Curse"... what do you remember about your preparations for that match? EL PABLO: Uhhmmmm... bit of cardio.. tri's.. bi's.. thighs... CRISTAL: No, you didn't. EL PABLO: ..Hours of intense video and literary research in the local library? CRISTAL: You spent an entire day dicking around in a costume store, then got drunk with Blaze and the gang and started fighting with members of the Puerto Rican community! EL PABLO: Woah woah woah! A provoked confrontation! Against one individual! CRISTAL: You superkicked a waitress! EL PABLO: In a hilarious visual throwback to a previous pr-okay, I see your point. *<3* EP hunches forward again, as silence overtakes the couple, Cristal once more absent-mindedly massaging EP's back and shoulders. *<3* EL PABLO: Well, this week that all has to change... I've gotta beat Ryan Shane, Cris.. for you and me.. for Yoshi.. for the good of CZW and professional wrestling as a whole! Ryan Shane can NOT be allowed to leave Japan with the World Heavyweight Championship... Honestly, it doesn't really even matter whether it's myself or Hix who gets to hold the gold at the end of the night... I just know it can't be Ryan Shane.. it can't be The Uprising.. it CAN'T BE.. the people who want nothing more than to transform this great, beautiful wrestling company into a goddamn monsters' ball! *<3* Another deep sigh is forcefully expelled from within EP's lips, the Five Star Superstar tapping his fingers as he gazes out across the Bay towards Cincinnati. Once again, silence descends upon the scene. After a couple of seconds, the camera slowly and meaningfully begins to close in upon the face of the Technicolor Tecnico... as his eyes widen in the universal symbol of "HOLY SHIT I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!!!" *<3* EL PABLO: Holy shit.. I just thought... *<3* Cristal turns to face her boyfriend, as she slides her hand down his arm and takes hold of his hand, their fingers locking together. *<3* EL PABLO: ..I know what I have to do. I know how I can beat Ryan Shane... *<3* EP suddenly leaps to his feet, Cristal joining him somewhat hesitantly, apparently rather taken-aback by her boyfriend's sudden shift in demeanor. *<3* CRISTAL: You.. you do? What... How... Hmm? EL PABLO: There's no time to explain.. but, holy shit, I really think this is gonna give me the edge I need! CRISTAL: That's great! You want me to come with? EL PABLO: I do, more than anything in the world... but this particular preparation plan is something I've gotta do on my own. CRISTAL: Oh.. okay... Wait... you're not gonna go play weird, whacky, but totally-not-improvised card games again, are you? EL PABLO: Of course not! You know I'd never try and hook up with the HASSTA peeps without you! Besides.. when I say "on my own".. I mean COMPLETELY on my own... no guest stars or cameos of any description or design. CRISTAL: Oh.. okay... Wait... "COMPLETELY" on your own? Please tell me you're not gonna try and relieve your stress by m- EL PABLO: NO!! God no! Besides.. you know I'd totally invite you along to help me out with that shit, too! *<3* Cristal suddenly snaps to face the camera, a finger pointing at the lens. *<3* CRISTAL: NOT literally. EL PABLO: For sure not literally.. this isn't a Covey/Jacobs promo. *<3* Cristal concludes her brief little stare-down with the camera, and turns back to EP, who smirks at her as he takes a step towards her and places his hands reassuringly on her shoulders, the two gazing deep into each others eyes. *<3* EL PABLO: Listen... I love you.. with every candy-coated little Skittle currently coursing its way through my bloodstream. CRISTAL: I love you, too... like a balls-out Dinosaur Laser Fight.. in space.. with robots and sharks. *<3* EP slides his hands over Cristal's shoulders to her neck, then up and onto her face, cupping her cheeks softly in his hands as he leans in and presses his lips tenderly against hers. The camera watches on as the couple share a slow, lingering, passionate kiss for a few seconds, before EP pulls back, gently ticking the back of Cristal's neck as he smiles at her once again. *<3* EL PABLO: ..We're cheesy as fuck, aren't we? CRISTAL: As ALL fuck. *<3* EP grins, and the two share another brief little peck before EP steps back, taking hold of Cristal's hands. *<3* EL PABLO: I'll talk to you later, okay? CRISTAL: Okay babe.. be careful! EL PABLO: Always! *<3* With that, EP turns and bounds off-screen, leaving Cristal alone with her thoughts. She watches after EP until he disappears from her line of vision, then heads back over to the ledge, taking a seat once again on the concrete and gazing out across the bay at the display of lights on the other side of the water. After a few moments, the sound of a familiar, incredibly coincidental and totally-not-out-of-place-here-in-Japan song begins to fade into our consciousness... Sitting in the morning sun I'll be sitting when the evening comes Watching the ships roll in And I watch 'em roll away again As the song continues to play, Cristal can be seen tapping her feet along to the beat, even swaying her head from side to side a little. After a moment or two, she finds herself joined in the shot by a black man, looking possibly early-70s in age, strumming softly on an acoustic guitar. He takes a seat beside Cristal on the ledge, continuing to play as he begins to sing along. *<3* Sitting on the dock of the bay Watching the tide roll away I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay Wasting time I left my home in Colorado *<3* Cristal suddenly stops tapping, a look of confusion becoming visible on her face as the man continues his singing. *<3* Headed for the Tokyo bay *<3* Now definitely a little suspicious in addition to her confusion, Cristal lifts her head to look at the music man. *<3* 'Cause I had nothin' to live for And look like nothing's gonna come my way *<3* Cristal shifts her position, now sitting Indian-style facing directly towards the music man, her head cocked to one side as she continues to watch on inquisitively. *<3* So I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay Watching the tide roll away I'm just sitting on the dock of the bay Wasting time Look like nothing's gonna change Ev- CRISTAL: Excuse me... *<3* The song abruptly stops, and the music man turns to face Cristal, smiling although he himself now looks a little confused, too. *<3* MUSIC MAN: Yes, darlin'? CRISTAL: What... what is.. this? What are you doing? MUSIC MAN: Why I'm just singin' a little song, sweetheart. You've never heard it? CRISTAL: Yeah, I've heard it... pretty sure it doesn't have those lyrics! MUSIC MAN: ...Somethin' on your mind, sweetheart? *<3* Cristal stares blankly at the man for a moment, before letting out a sigh, dropping her hands into her lap and resting them there as she glances down at her fingers. *<3* CRISTAL: You could say that. MUSIC MAN: Why don't you tell this kindly old soul about it? I gots me some good ears on this old body. *<3* Cristal laughs softly, looking up at the music man who offers her a sweet smile. *<3* CRISTAL: Alright... So, I work for this professional wrestling company, right.. called CZW. We've recently resurrected ourselves after going out of business nearly two years ago, and this Monday night we're putting on our new flagship Internet Pay-Per-View; Event Horizon. MUSIC MAN: A wrestling company? Now, child.. what's a pretty little lady like you doing gettin' involved in a rough old business like that? CRISTAL: Yeah.. it's happened.. let's accept that... renting these cameras doesn't come cheap, you know. MUSIC MAN: Alright, alright... CRISTAL: So, anyway.. this Monday night is our flagship iPPV.. and as part of the card, myself and five other ladies are set to compete in a Battle Royal for the newly-reinstated Queen of Combat Championship; the first time that belt will have been defended since mid-2009. MUSIC MAN: Sounds like quite an honor! CRISTAL: It really is... CZW has always been a place that's really kept the leash off its ladies, and just let them go absolutely for broke, with all the same kinds of options and opportunities they give to the men. Or at least, it WAS.. until that arrogant, narcissistic cattle-botherer Jesse Montana took it upon himself to wrap his greasy fingers around the division and toss it out onto the curb. We had such a good thing going... so many great competitors, competing in some of the most incredible matches the professional wrestling world has ever seen... but then, just like that.. it was all over. MUSIC MAN: Now why on earth would he do that? Seems to me, if somethin's makin' you a lot of money, you wanna keep that train right on a-chuggin' for as long as you possibly can! CRISTAL: You and me both. I dunno why he did it, truth be told... maybe he just couldn't stand being upstaged by ladies with shinier hair, smoother chests and FAR bigger testicles than himself. MUSIC MAN: HooHOOOOOO! You've got some feistiness in you, child! *<3* Cristal shoots a finger-gun with accompanying wink at the music man, before continuing with her history lesson. *<3* CRISTAL: But, god-willing, we seem to be getting ourselves a little back on track currently. There's been a sudden influx of new female talent to the roster, with even more rumoured to be on the horizon.. and so, with the powers-that-be now finally giving us the opportunity to bring back the Queen of Combat Championship, I'm really hopeful that we can start to show the watching world exactly what we're capable of.. and what women's professional wrestling should REALLY be all about! MUSIC MAN: Well, that all sounds mighty fine to me, darlin'... but then, why so blue? You've got some sadness in those eyes.. what for, if everything's goin' so dandy for ya right now? *<3* Cristal lets out another sigh, as she leans back a little, placing the palms of her hands on the concrete behind her. *<3* CRISTAL: It's not.. sadness... per se. It's... frustration. MUSIC MAN: Go on... CRISTAL: Okay, so... there's these two ladies that have just joined our organisation... Miss Michelle and Kandi Washington... and, for seemingly no reason, other than the fact I'm in a relationship with the current Number One Contender to the World Heavyweight Championship, these two have apparently decided to make it their mission to trip, torment, tease and torture me at every opportunity! MUSIC MAN: For NO reason? CRISTAL: Well... okay, I guess Kandi's just doing it because she's a psycho bitch with an ego problem... and Miss Michelle's just pissed because I beat her flakey ass clean in the centre of the ring a couple of months ago... but still, it starts to wear you down after a while, you know? MUSIC MAN: Mmmm, I can sure understand that. *<3* Cristal sits back up again, clenching her fists in front of her as her mouth curls into a scowl. *<3* CRISTAL: God.. I can't wait to get my hands on those bitches in this Battle Royal... all the sneak attacks.. all the slander.. all the niggling little things those back-alley bowling balls have put me through over these past couple of months... it's just gonna make it all the more sweet when I'm looking down from the top of that turnbuckle at their battered and beaten asses on the outside of the ring, with the Queen of Combat Championship raised high above my head! I've gotta beat them, Mr Music Man... You don't even understand. I can't stand.. fuck.. I just can't BEAR the thought of either one of those two.. lording it over me and the rest of the girls with that championship belt! Honestly.. I don't even care if it's not ME who ends up holding the gold at the end of the evening... I mean, obviously it would be a dream come true to be crowned Queen of Combat, and I would be kidding nobody to say that it wasn't - and still isn't - the sole purpose for my becoming involved in this industry... but, to be completely honest with you.. it's almost more important for me to make sure that Michelle and Kandi DON'T win, than to try and secure any kind of victory for myself. I know that probably sounds a little ridiculous to someone like you... but there honestly just aren't enough curse words in the world to express just how completely unbearable the CZW would be if Kandi Washington or Miss Michelle were to be crowned its first "New Generation" Queen of Combat! *<3* Cristal runs her fingers over the back of her heat(/hat) briefly, before letting out a deep exhale and extending her arms out to the sides, signalling the end of her rant. The music man smiles. *<3* MUSIC MAN: Well, you know what, sweetheart? I hope you do show them no-gooders what's what! But darlin'.. I've got a question for you... CRISTAL: Shoot. MUSIC MAN: If this is such a big match for ya.. and if you're as determined as you say you are to make sure these ladies don't get a sniff at that Championship gold... then why are you sat out here with an old man like me in the dead of night? *<3* Cristal cocks her eyebrow again. *<3* CRISTAL: What do you mean? MUSIC MAN: Well, a Battle Royal's an intense kinda match-up.. and you can bet that this Kandi and this Michelle won't be stoppin' at nothin' to make sure that gold winds up wrapped around their artificially-skinny waists... I'm just sayin', if it were me.. I'd be pullin' out all the stops.. makin' sure I was as prepared as possible to step into that ring on Monday night and show the two of them AND the rest of the watchin' world that I ain't nobody to mess with! *<3* A wry smile spreads across Cristal's face, as the music man gives her a wink. *<3* CRISTAL: You are absolutely right. And, you know what? EP may not have been able to travel halfway around the world to pay a visit of remeniscence to a symbolically significant site from his CZW past... but, fortunately for me, I have the perfect location for mine only a few blocks away! *<3* Cristal hops excitedly to her feet, dusting herself off a little as she looks back down at the music man, smiling back up at her. *<3* CRISTAL: Thanks, Otis. *<3* The music man nods, as Cristal then excitedly bounds past him and out of shot. The music man turns back to look out over the bay, beginning to strum his guitar again. *<3* Sittin' here resting my bones They're really reaching now for these cameos *<3* Suddenly, Cristal jumps back into shot, eyes wide and face white as she points a finger at the music man. *<3* CRISTAL: Wait a second! Aren't you d- *<3* The screen abruptly cuts to black. ----------*****---------- After a few moments, the darkness dissipates, replaced in stark contrast by the glare of multiple strip lights, shining down upon us from the ceiling of what appears to be a rather large arena. The camera pans down, revealing us to be standing inside a wrestling ring erected in the centre of the building, seats expanding out in all directions towards the stands at the rear of the shot. The camera then swings round 180 degrees, revealing the smiling face of Cristal, stood in the ring herself just a few paces away from us. *<3* CRISTAL: SO... after three-and-a-half LONG years of suffering and slumming it in the shittiest part of the CZW Memory Box.. the Queen of Combat Championship FINALLY makes its glorious return to the spotlight on the grandest stage of them all... Event Horizon! *<3* Cristal takes a brief look around the arena, the camera remaining focused upon her as she does so. *<3* CRISTAL: Now, I now what you're thinking... here I am, standing inside the Tokyo Dome, preparing to conduct the obligatory run-down of all the ladies I'm set to go up against on this most holly-jolly of Christmas Eves! Well... you're half-right. Actually, I'm standing inside the Ryōgoku Kokugikan Arena, just up the road from the Dome. Why, you ask? Well.. it just so happens that this particular arena was the site of the DEBUT of the Queen of Combat Championship, alllllllllll the way back on March 13th 2008! *<3* Cristal chuckles. *<3* CRISTAL: I suppose it doesn't really need to be stated that the CZW scene is rather different now than how it was back then. In fact, I am the only surv... the only person who competed in that first match to still be an active part of the company today. Just look at who I was up against on that very first night... Ashley Valentine.. Allison Lewis.. The Lovely Zoe.. Sydney Vicious.. Veronica Michelle... and, of course, the late, great Ruthless Aggression. Some of those names went on to be some of the defining names and characters, not just within the women's division, but in the annals of CZW as a whole. Some of them... did not. For the record.. I was unsuccessful on that night.. and I'm not too proud to say, I think that, were you to take my in-ring record thus far on its own merits.. I would almost certainly find myself in that latter camp. With good reason, it has to be said.. I only took part in a couple of matches during my first run.. then wasn't even SEEN for 2 entire years until I came back in as EP's valet.. and, obviously, I've only returned to active competition within the last few months. Mind you... I think you'd have to say it's been a rather impressive return, wouldn't you agree? I've beaten arguably THE greatest CZW women's competitor of all time in Allyson Thorn - to the point where she hasn't even been SEEN since... and I've also picked up a couple of victories against the woman who is apparently determined to be a thrush-ridden thorn in my side, Miss Michelle! Michelle... I mean, I honestly don't know what to say. Even beyond your apparently insatiable desire to cheap-shot and sneak-attack me every time we get within 30 feet of each other.. the fact that you somehow consider these sneak attacks to be indicative of some kind of "victory" or superiority over me is.. well, it's stupid is what it is, sweetie.. completely and utterly stupid. I mean.. do you not understand how professional wrestling works? Is the concept of a match with bells and officials and pinfalls and all that shit completely alien to you? Well.. I figure it must be, considering you may as well have not shown up for half the ones you've been booked for. The simple fact is, sweetie, that I'm currently 2 for 2 against you. You can pull out all the backstage assaults.. all the post-match sucker-punches you want.. it really, honestly, truthfully counts for jack SHIT when it comes to determining chumps and Champions here in this business. Talk all you want about "being inside my head".. whoopdie-doo, you can kick back and have a disco with EP's "Bucket List of Bullshit" and the lyrics to every Chaka Khan song ever written... just know that, when it comes down to real, actual, OFFICIAL physical confrontation... I win. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. *<3* Cristal allows a defiant stare to hold itself on the camera lens for a moment or two, before snapping into a big, beaming, possibly-only-slightly-sarcastic smile. *<3* CRISTAL: And so.. onto contestant number two in the game of "Let's walk straight through the door and punch the most brightly-coloured woman in the room"... the ever-delightful Miss Kandi Washington! Kandi... I'm sure you'll be just DEVESTATED at being listed as "number two" at something... well, ain't that just too damn bad? Now, you.. are an entirely different kettle of fish to anybody else in this Battle Royal... because you appear to be completely determined to be the first Queen of Combat in history to never actually engage in any kind of Combat whatsoever! Physical combat, anyway.. lord knows, when it comes to verbal sparring you can talk the hind legs off a fucking millipede! The funny thing is, though... it's exactly that insatiable desire of yours to fire insults like a rail gun with its trigger jammed that might very well cost you any kind of chance of victory in this contest. Think about it... you're gonna be stepping into the ring with five ladies whom you've gone 9,495 miles out of your way to insult, belittle and disparage every single time you've opened your mouth. Just IMAGINE, for one second, how much joy each and every single one of those ladies is gonna take in dumping you unceremoniously on your ass... and don't think any of your regular little tricks are gonna do you any good in this one! If you try to take the easy way out, and slither out of the ring until the time comes to sneak back in and topple someone mistakenly celebrating their "victory".. you'd best believe there's gonna be someone jumping right out after you to shove you back into the firing line. If you try to throw your transgendered friend into battle for you.. I can assure you, the rest of us will dismantle her like a school of piranha chowing down on an hors d'oeuvre, and then go looking - as one big, beautiful unit - for the main course. *<3* Cristal smirks. *<3* CRISTAL: Face it, Kandi.. your ONLY hope of winning this match, and taking your "rightful place" as the CZW Queen of Combat.. is to lace up and throw down.. all on your own. I know first-hand how much you LOVE doing that... unfortunately for you, this time you don't have an awesome, brightly-coloured tag partner to hide behind. This time, you're all on your own.. and just like a wounded calf on the Serengeti... you're gonna get eaten alive. *<3* Cristal makes a "pouncing" gesture towards the camera, before beginning to pace slowly towards a corner of the ring, the camera moving back with her as she goes. *<3* CRISTAL: But, what of the others looking to stake their claim to that newly-polished, newly-reborn Championship belt. What of Brenda Vixen.. Tatum Regan.. and, of course, my Gangnam Girl herself, Sirena Starr? Well, honestly... I'd say that, once the four of us have taken care of the terrible twosome and tossed them out into the gutter in which they are obviously so accustomed to spending a great deal of their time.. it's simply down to "may the best girl win." I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that whoever of us four ends up holding that title belt high above our head after that final bell has been rung, that person will truly be a champion worthy of the Queen of Combat name. Ladies.. I'm sure the four of you will agree with me when I say that this night.. Monday night.. December 24th... CZW Event Horizon.. is perhaps THE most important night in the entire history of the CZW women's division. On this night.. we show the watching world exactly what women's wrestling can, could and absolutely SHOULD be. On this night.. we show the watching world exactly why Jesse Montana showed himself up as the pompous, narrow-minded, egomaniacal, delusionally-jealous FOOL we all knew he was when he so callously shut down the Queen of Combat Championship when it was at its absolute peak. On this night.. we bear witness to the coronation of the absolute.. UNDISPUTED.. Queen of ALL Professional Wrestling. *<3* Cristal moves right in close to the camera now, her masked face taking up almost all of the lens as a devilish smile spreads across it. *<3* CRISTAL: Brenda.. Tatum.. Sirena... let's go show the boys how it's REALLY done. Kandi.. Michelle... I'm gonna skull-fuck you with Pixie Sticks. PEACE OUT, BITCHES!!! *<3* Cristal raises her hands triumphantly above her head, as the scene fades to black for the final time. *<3* |
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